ironloki

Today in the Hobby I posted in the B&C for the first time in probably 4 years, dusted off my marines and jumped into a 3 way battle with Ravenwing and Harlequins for my first battle since 5th Ed- getting joint first place (despite not understanding these new shiny objective cards). Not a bad tale of resurrection I think ;)

A very nice read. Not much do say since this has probably been through the OL shredder several times to purify its contents for maximum efficiency ;) You do seem to be missing a battle cry though unless they don't have one?. Nice touch with the artwork. I love a good picture or two.

Do you really think that this would fit with the chapter name? :wacko: War Bearers - The important part for me is the bearing referance. They are carrying the burden of war for something/someone else. Its not like they are called War Mongers ;) but are aware of their sacrifices/task they have taken. Just my view of course :P

My thoughts exactly. You give up your former life and name and become part of a new machine.

I would also have to second the idea about leaving Traits until the very end. I am normally dead against using traits to forge a chapter. Traits should be shaped by the chapter not the other way around. I like the idea of Slavic names. Would be very different.

I noticed the Skull bearers recently and I think they could be interesting as long as people avoid it becomming a watery Mortifactors due to the skull reference :lol:

Yes that would allow you to still be around. I remember when I made my first DIY chapter. The Chapter Master was called Ironloki. Now I think it was a bit corny of me but some people like to have themselves around (i.e. many legio B&C marines represent the Mod/Admin/Frater) The other idea is to have you as the "Creater", the so-called father figure or first chapter master of the chapter but you would have to be dead or in a Dreadnought. Or you could make yourself the current Chapter Master so that way you are still alive. Note however that most GW characters are already dead (such as Lysander) as most of 40k fluff is about the past.

Some pics of real models of them would be lovely. I tried painting them but couldn't get a nice white so I abandoned it. Shame as they look really cool if painted well of course ^_^

Congratulations. One day the B&C will rule all :D Goes to show the amount of talent and dedication that is around here. Enjoy yourself. You earned it :blink: Any more pics of your army?

Okay for some expanding Who are these barbarians and why was a sword forged?. I have something similar with a weapon being crafted by the planets "Gods". Perhaps you could do something like this as the sword needs a meaning or some background. i.e. My chapter has a relic which was given to a "mythical" hero who united the planet prior to the marines comming. As a result it holds a ceremonial role. So give it some backstory. Good. Now expand the homeworld. What kind of people inhabit it? advanced? nomadic? feudal? Anything else about the homeworld that you would like to add. Does the atmosphere make the people harder? Do they have any rituals which have become adopted by the marines? Just some quick thoughts that should help flesh it out a bit more

You are still capping every first letter which makes it a tad hard to read. Just cap every first letter after a full stop and for names and titles.i.e Imperial Fists Change that and it will be easier on the old eyes :jaw:

Also don't be phased by the bus load of questions Molotov and others will ask ^_^ especially if you feel your knowledge is limited. We all started in the same boat . Take your time as they will help flesh out your work and refine it. So dont freak out and think you don't know how to answer them. If you can't we may be able to help you forge some ideas together ;)

Looking at your IA you have a good start Now you need to expand and rather than have a Q&A bit try and put it like the other IA articles. Founding - Why were they founded? To fight pirates (arrr! :D )? Xenos, chaos,? where are they stationed Homeworld - Expand on this. Whats the planet like? why was it chosen? What are its people like. Combat Doctrine - Why do they prefer ranged. Do they use anything more than any others? +edit+ Start off with bullet points of information i.e. Homeworld Big, 2 moons, desert, giant scorpions, population religious zealots. Then work them into a paragraph Homeworld The chapters homeworld of Orion is a large desolate planet covered in desert with only the coastal regions producing vegetation of any kind. etc etc. Hope that helps :devil:

Its generally best to do it yourself. Just keep slaving away and im sure the people here will help you tidy things up. Its a true labour or love, and in my case never ending with more updates and refining points. Just post what you have, take the comments and change and expand as required. People can help with dates. I personally was rubbish with them and got aid from the people here. They will also point out any fluff errors and show you an alternative You have to help us help you. Nobody can do your DIY for you...because then it wouldn't be yours :devil: