Brother_Kaelgrim Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 Disclaimer: I'm new to the boards and still working this out, so let me know if I do something terribly wrong, I'll be happy to fix it. Introduction We are the flame that cannot be extinguished. We are the bulwark of the people. We are the masters of the land. We are the Frost Wyrms! -Founding Creed, inscribed in the Halls of Ice, Wyrmhearth. The Frost Wyrms are a young chapter with a bright future. While they have yet to participate in any major actions since their founding, their domain is well protected from the forces of Chaos. Frost Wyrms are famed amongst the Helican Subsector for their compassion and humanity, honoring their Salamander's origins. Only time will tell if they can stand on their own amongst the ranks of the Adeptus Astartes. Origins It is the lack of compassion that robs us of our humanity. It is the lack of faith that turns us to dark paths. But is the lack of will that makes us servants of darkness. Brothers, make your will strong. Temper it with compassion. Fortify it with faith. You shall never fall alone. Initiation speech as written by Father Azrael The Frost Wyrms are a chapter founded during the Twenty-Sixth Founding in 738M41. The High Lords of Terra authorized the use of the Salamander's Geneseed, originating from the great Primarch Vulkan himself, to be used in the creation of the Frost Wyrms. A Salamander Captain, Jaltor of the 5th Company, and his retinue were selected to train the new chapter and select a Chapter Master from the first wave of recruits. The homeworld for the fledgling chapter was deemed to be Galcia Primaris, a death world, in the Helican Subsector, in Segmentum Obscuras. Recruits were pulled from the homeworld and the surrounding planets of Thakar, Jarius, Galcia Secundus, and Raloris. Initial training went well as recruits from these worlds proved hardy and accepted the geneseed easily. The planets in this system are home to a diverse system of climates and ecology, which proved useful in preparing recruits. Jaltor marked a recruit, Alistarious, as having the potential to become Chapter Master. As the recruits became full marines many were discovered to have strong psyker potential, their innate talents bolstered by the climate and radiation of Galcia Primaris. Alistarious soon exceeded Jaltor's expectations, the young marine's love for knowledge and warfare proving his worth. When the chapter was ready, Jaltor gave responsibilities to Alistarious and returned to the Salamanders. It was Alistarious who gave the chapter its name, drawing inspiration from the mighty predators that stalked Galcia Primaris' frozen wastes. Organization The Frost Wyrms follow the Salamander's style of organization, as a sign of respect and honor to their parent chapter. Frost Wyrms differ from most if not all other chapters in that instead of having 10 companies, the Frost Wyrms have only 6 companies of marines in addition to a small company of about 60 scouts. Each company possesses 120 men as opposed to the standard 100 that the Codex Astartes promotes however. Frost Wyrm Marine The Recruitment Process The Frost Wyrms test their initiates fiercely, selecting only those with a keen mind as well as a sound body. Recruits are pulled from Thakar, Jarius, Galcia Secundus, and Raloris, and may follow any path within the chapter. The exception to this is the chapter's librarians. The Librarium recruits almost exclusively from Galcia Primaris and its scholam-cities, due to the larger concentration of psykers and the planet's effect on psyker power. While it is not unheard of for a Librarian to hail from Jarius, a civilized world that houses the major Administratum offices for the system, or Thakar, home to the Thakarran sages, a group of clan shamans whose principles complement the Frost Wyrm's own, the majority do hail from Galcia Primaris. Those of Galcia Secundus, the system's hive-world, often follow the path of the Techmarine; training with the Adeptus Mechanicus and often seeking out masters of the forge for further learning. Part of the recruitment process is the testing of canidates by pitting them against the ferocious frost wyrms of Galcia Primaris. Aspirants are organized into 10 man teams to fight these perilous beasts. This helps to mark out recruits that will excel in leader roles (as the Frost Wyrms hold true to the notion of utilizing talents properly) as well as marking those who are good seconds and squadsmen. The aspirants are given 3 months to bring back the head of a frost wyrm to earn their place in the chapter, with honor often going to those teams who bring in the largest heads. The most notable trophy was brought in by Recruit Darius and his squad who brought back a head the size of battle brother in Terminator armor. Those who pass the initiation are trained as battle brothers and those who fail either die while hunting the wyrms, or come back empty handed and sent to work in the chapter's libraries as scribes. Gene-seed The Frost Wyrms owe their existence to the Primarch Vulkan. A mighty warrior, his geneseed is pure and free from contamination. As a young chapter, the Frost Wyrms are diligent in their offering of geneseed to the Adeptus Mechanicus. They keep a careful eye on their gene-seed, as the above average psyker potential in recruits may indicate problematic interactions with the gene-seed and Galcia Primaris' unique atmospheric conditions or the genetic code of Galcians themselves. HomeworldGalcia Primaris...a world that numbs you to the bone then swallows you whole. -Rogue Trader Garrak The Frost Wyrm's home is a glacial planet, bearing similarities with Hubris elsewhere in the Helican Subsector. A unique quirk of the planet's atmosphere makes the poles surprisingly temperate. The majority of Galcia Primaris' citizenry live in these temperate poles, with the planet's capital being Algarte. Algarte rests at the foot of the mountain that houses the Frost Wyrm's fortress, known as the Wyrm-hearth. Algarte is a civil city, home to many libraries and universities, despite being on a death world. It owes this peaceful existence to the sheltering presence of the Wyrms. Outside of the peaceful poles, the world is a savage and harsh place to be. Massive frost wyrms, great predators with two heads and scales as tough as ceramite, stalk the wastes, devouring any who dare venture alone. The people of Galcia Primaris are followers of a variation on the Imperial Cult, placing a heavy emphasis on the science and philosophy of battle. Many youths go on pilgrimages to shrines that dot the forbidding wastes to pay homage to the war-sages of old. These rites of passage are brutal and require a strong mind and a sound body. This practice also ensures that the Frost Wyrms always have able bodied recruits. The Galcians are often described as a stern and logical people, but many who get to know these fascinating men and women soon find that they are warm and inviting to those who earn their trust. Beliefs and Philosophy “It is said that the tribulations of survival will rob a man of his humanity, that the constant pressures of staying alive will erode what makes you higher than a beast and leave you with nothing. I say unto you , it is the glory of the God-Emperor that saves us from that fate. Though our enemies beset us, though they tear at the walls of sanity, He preserves us. Brothers, with faith in the Emperor you shall never fail. With the Emperor, you shall be as angels unto Man, guarding him so that he might learn the way. Humanity is yet young and knows not the dangers of existence. Many fall to Chaos, others to mediocrity. But for the Angels of Death, the servants of the Emperor, this fate is not allowed. Purge the heretic, strike down the xenos, but never forget for whom you do so. From Man you came and to Man you must look. Let your bolter be as a fortress, your blade a gatehouse, your faith a shield. Let you be a beacon to Man, as the Emperor is a beacon to his ships. It is the duty, nay the privelage of every Frost Wyrm to guard Mankind and watch over him. Let not your heart be hardened by the failures of Man, for he lacks our strength. Let not your mind be darkened by hatred for his wrongdoings, for he has not our faith. Punish his wrongdoings, guide his ways, praise his success. For when there is only war, there must be a holy army to fight it.” These are the words that inscribed in the Halls of Virtue, the center most sanctum of the Wyrmhearth. Every Frost Wyrm swears by this oath as he becomes a brother. A brother is bound by this oath, the core of their faith. On the eve of every battle, the Chaplains of the chapter will lead the brothers in meditation, letting this creed become the core of his will, to make him a bastion of the Emperor's fire. More so than almost any other chapter, the Frost Wyrms take to heart their mission to guard Mankind. If other chapters knew of these beliefs, they might mock and jeer. For who cares about Man, so long as the Emperor's domain is clean of heretics? A Frost Wyrm would quietly answer, “How can there be a domain of the Emperor, when He who is Emperor of Mankind is then king of nothing?” These beliefs form the core of the chapter's fighting philosophy. While other chapters might willingly die to the man to defend some site or relic, a Frost Wyrm will look unto the people instead, defending them above all else. This is not to say that a brother will not hunt the heretic as fiercely as any other marine, but it is done with great sorrow as a Frost Wyrm knows that had he been more vigilant, the heretic might not have fallen in the first place. Many older chapters have spoken out against such a mindset, saying that is the young chapter's naivety that drives this focus. But the Frost Wyrms stick to their ideals, refusing to budge. Although they are mocked, they have never been insulted for their inability to fulfill their duty. The Frost Wyrms fight with a quiet, if cold, determination that yet to be shaken. Though brothers have danced on the edge of Chaos, it has always been their fellow brothers who pull them back. Time will tell if any Frost Wyrm will fall, but those who watch know that any brother who does will be struck down by his own weeping family. The Great Rest The Galcians have a strange notion of the state of a man's soul after death. Like many Imperial citizens, they believe they will go to be with the Emperor. However, Galcians hold that first they must rest deeply to recover the strength it takes to live and thus their souls go to sleep in ice of Galcia Primaris, only to awake when the Emperor calls them. The Frost Wyrms have adopted this belief and often hold memorial services when many brothers have fallen. A fallen Frost Wyrm is honored by having his name carved into the great pillars of ice deep in the Wyrmhearth, so that when the Emperor calls the pillars will melt, releasing the brother from his rest and letting him go to serve the Emperor once more. The culture of Galcia Primaris influences much of the Chapter's thinking as well. The people of Galcia Primaris are philosophers and warriors at heart with an intricate system of honor and duty. A Frost Wyrm is an unflagging and tireless defender of humanity whose very presence bolsters those around him. Combat Doctrine In battle, let your mind be as cold as the glacier. Let it take in the permutations of the next moment, let it formulate a plan of action in an instant. Let it be unburdened by blood lust or fierce passion. Then, when your plan is made and your course clear, strike the enemy with every ounce of the Emperor's fury and rest only when you have purged them from the face of His domain! -Chapter Master Alistarious Frost Wyrms are masters of the prepared battlefield. Experts in traps and defence, Frost Wyrm tacticians often strive to lure the enemy into a false sense of victory then strike him with a bewildering combination of strength, speed, and psychic might. The librarians of the chapter have earned the moniker Stormsages for their practice of manipulating the weather to their advantage. The Techmarines of the chapter are vital to a Frost Wyrm campaign, as they often construct and oversee the cunning devices used to ensare the enemy. Frost Wyrm forces often coordinate with Imperial forces in the area, striving to keep good relations open. The Guard regiments of the subsector respect the Wyrms greatly as they have fought together many times. Battle Cry We bring the Emperor's fire to the cold abyss! Edit: Added more content. (To Be Continued) Please critique and let me know if I should correct anything. More content to be forthcoming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother_Kaelgrim Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 To clarify, my objectives for the chapter are as thus. 1. To honor their origins, by following the Promethean Cult and behaving in a manner that is fitting with a Salamander's successor. 2. To be a chapter known for its use of Librarians, but not quite to the degree that the Blood Ravens do. This use of psykers should go hand in hand with their technological roots, thus presenting a fusion of psyker prowess and technological mastery. 3. A deep reverence for philosophy and knowledge should be inherent to the chapter. The ideal Frost Wyrm is a thinker, a crusader, and a bulwark for the weak. He is known for his unflagging optimism and determination to defend the Imperium. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alkana Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 Looks fine to me. It's a nice summary of the ideas you want in your chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Smash Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 It's nice of you to organise your ideas. I never do. Which is why I come across as a lunatic most of the time. I have several points to make. I'll number them. Makes me seem less lunatic-ish. ;) 1: You enetering the Iorn Gauntlet, with this Chapter? 2: Salamaders Successors Rule. 3: Your Battle Cry is rather inconveintenly placed... 4: I doubt you'll do anything wrong. 5: It's cool that you Chapter aren't a horde of blood crazed warriors, like most others. 6: So your Chapter likes "people" (the common man)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother_Kaelgrim Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 I don't know if I have the literary excellence to enter the Iron Gauntlet. As to your questions, I'll try and correct the formatting as I go, any tips are appreciated. And yes, the Frost Wyrms have an excellent relationship with the people of their system and are very similar to the Salamanders in this regard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Smash Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 You could always try... It is better to have loved entered the Iron Gauntlet and lost than never to have loved entered at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lysimachus Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 Ok, looks like quite a nice start. A few little points to begin with: First, you might be better off re-organizing the different sections slightly; it just makes it easier to read. Typical IA format is: Main Header + a quick introductory paragraph, then Origins, Homeworld, Organization, Combat Doctrine (Tactics), Beliefs (Chapter Cult), Gene-Seed, and Battle Cry. With that in mind, have you seen the excellent Space Marine Painter? Well worth showing us a scheme if you have one as it just makes the article nicer to look at! (I'm picturing the Sallie scheme with a cold icy blue replacing the green, the black pads with white markings would really stand out, so would the flame markings!) I notice you don’t have an Organization section yet. Do they follow the Codex 10 Companies of 100, or maybe the Sallie’s 7 Companies of 120 (think that’s right!)? What is their command structure like, do they have any unusual units, stuff like that? Also, do they still recruit from several different worlds, wasn’t sure whether it was just the first batch or an ongoing thing? Might be worth fleshing out the other worlds a little, although having said that, not too much. It’s IA: Frostwyrms, not IA: Planets of wherever! Maybe just a sentence or two? I think overall, it’s a good start, but what it really needs more than anything else is more definition. What makes them stand out as different to all the other Chapters out there? You don’t want them to just be Salamanders in Space Wolf colours! Well done! Lysimachus IG PC 23/40 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother_Kaelgrim Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 Thanks for the great comments! I will strive to clean up the originization soon, I'm still kind of in the thought>paper mode where I just put down ideas as I get them. You have hit very close to the mark with the paint scheme, I will have to post it when I have finished my tweaks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother_Kaelgrim Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 Chapter Colors have arrived! 1st Company Veteran as well :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother_Kaelgrim Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 woops double post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Smash Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 Nice Colour schemes. Not much else to say... You checked out my Chapter the Nytiran Rangers? I know, is shamless flogging but still... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother_Kaelgrim Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 I have, I would comment on them, but I don't really have anything constructive to offer on them, other than how they get their objectives done when they can't do their extensive planning. That, and formatting is good mmk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 Wow, that's not bad. If these aren't in the Iron Gauntlet, my Stonebound shouldn't be either. :D This chapter has potential, and as far as I can see there aren't any obvious mistakes. :( Couple of points; How does the chapter recruit, exactly? Do they hold contests, or abduct potential recruits, or something else entirely? If the chapter places less emphasis on forging and so forth, has this affected their Techmarines at all? In fact, has it affected their relationship with the Adeptus Mechanicus? The colour scheme looks pretty good! I'm intrigued as to how the Frost Wyrms will fight, so I'm looking forward to the Combat Doctrine section. Also wondering what enemy you have it mind to most encounter with these guys. Keep up the good work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother_Kaelgrim Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 Thanks for the feedback! I'm still working out how certain things are done, I'm tempted to have recruits fight a Frost Wyrm to prove their worth or something, or maybe an intellectual challenge in addition to that. I do have an idea in mind for the Techmarines to focus on blending psyker and tech, so they will specialize in things like psi-augmenters, psychic hoods, etc. I'm not sure how this will affect their relations with the AdeptMech, I need to research how the AdeptMech view psykers and technology. Combat Doctrine is something I want to make very special, perhaps include some examples of conflicts the Wyrms have engaged in. I want a heavy emphasis on preservation of resources, both in men and in ammunition. This will most likely make them popular with the local IG, but maybe not so much with some other SM chapters. I can foresee them getting along terrible with chapters like the Black Templars, as the Frost Wyrms view glorious last stands as a waste. Major enemy I see for these guys is Chaos, as they have to deal with possible Psyker mutations and thus corruption is ever an issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother_Kaelgrim Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 Just occurred to me that a good enemy for the chapter would be a large Khornate warband. Have them be a persistent threat, and it would make an interesting story. The blood-crazed fanatics vs the cold logical tacticians. I also want to expand the idea of mastery of the land, perhaps have the chapter's librarium focus on shaping terrain with illusions and kinetics to lay cunning traps, then use orderly withdrawal methods to lure the enemy in and close the vice. Maybe incorporate a bit of the old Alpha Legion concepts of autonomous operation. Let me know if you guys like that at all. And if anyone would like to contribute information on the seperate recruiting worlds, or if I should just scrap the other worlds and recruit from Galcia Primaris solely, let me know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Smash Posted February 6, 2010 Share Posted February 6, 2010 Now that sounds cool. Heh. Heh. But seriously that sounds good. (The blood-crazed fanatics vs the cold logical tacticians) So does the recruiting from multiple planets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother_Kaelgrim Posted February 6, 2010 Author Share Posted February 6, 2010 Added the Lay of Tanthalor. Let me know what you guys think. My writing skill is lacking, I know, and something about the story is a bit off to me. If anyone would like to reword it to sound more like a saga of sorts, let me know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother_Kaelgrim Posted February 7, 2010 Author Share Posted February 7, 2010 Adding the recruitment process and how the different worlds give different recruits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 That 'Lay of Tanthalor' bit is rather long, and should probably be in a sidebar rather than a section in an IA. The recruitment bit seems alright. But definitely drop the forgeworld. You wouldn't be recruiting from it anyway, since the AdMech would be all over the planet. :cuss You don't need a forgeworld anywhere near you to be well-equipped, and even having one in the next system or two along is a bit overdone. A preservationist style of combat would be interesting. I look forward to seeing where you go with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother_Kaelgrim Posted February 7, 2010 Author Share Posted February 7, 2010 Yes, I've actually asked someone to rewrite the Lay of Tanthalor to be a bit more succint and saga-like. As to the recruitment, perhaps forge-world to hive-world would work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother_Kaelgrim Posted February 10, 2010 Author Share Posted February 10, 2010 Major update folks, I've rewritten the whole Beliefs section entirely. I had a great spurt of inspiration and I spotted a post earlier about how an IA's beliefs section makes or breaks it for the poster. This hit me hard and made me look at my chapter's beliefs with a bit of scorn. The copy paste mentality is now gone and I've worked hard to make this section really stir the soul. Let me know if it just isn't grimdark enough for the 40k universe, but I really want a chapter who believes in a bright future for mankind and is practical about that future. I've noticed many people take space marines as overzealous fanatics and that is often true. But the idea that there is a chapter who maintains purity not with a bolter but with a word and a helping hand does not seem too far-fetched. Now, this might actually be a flaw for the chapter, as in a galaxy such as this one can not afford to be gentle. But I think the Frost Wyrms will be better for this new idealism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfbiter Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 So...this is your first draft? Because you've managed to: A) Write a clear, easy-to-read start to your IA presented with pleasing visuals and color scheme; :P Give your chapter a distinctive flavor without resorting to "uber-Marine" syndrome; C) Do a nice job tying your Chapter's name and outlook to both their homeworld and their progenitor Chapter; D) Portrayed them as compassionate and cultured (rare) without making them Ultramarines clones (also rare!) or too cliched (Super Rare!) Honestly, so far my few criticisms would be: edit down the Lay of Tanthalor and make it a sidebar (which has been mentioned), edit the recruitment section (It looks like it is repeated twice in the IA and add perhaps a bit on geneseed and a battle cry. Well done so far! It's always nice to see someone build a chapter's identity from a well-constructed homeworld and belief system, and do it well. Keep up the good work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother_Kaelgrim Posted February 10, 2010 Author Share Posted February 10, 2010 I do not feel as if I warrant this many complements, but thank you! Yes, the above problems are being worked on, the belief thing just kind of hit me and I had to write it down and post it before the inspiration was lost. Expect some of the remaining issues to be ironed out this evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother_Kaelgrim Posted February 10, 2010 Author Share Posted February 10, 2010 Update, I've revised parts of the overall structure and added to the Gene-seed section. I've changed forge-world to hive-world in the recruitment section. I've also deleted the Lay of Tanthalor for the time being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Smash Posted February 10, 2010 Share Posted February 10, 2010 the Frost Wyrm's enjoy the ability to utilize different parts of their brain to solve complex problems swiftly. The practical application of this makes them excellent tacticians Build on this, it makes sense and sounds cool. Maybe the Chapter sends marines to (like the Mentor Leigon) help other Imperial Forces out. It is the lack of compassion that robs us of our humanity. It is the lack of faith that turns us to dark paths. But is the lack of will that makes us servants of darkness. Brothers, make your will strong. Temper it with compassion. Fortify it with faith. You shall never fall alone.Initiation speech as written by Father Azrael HomeworldGalcia Primaris....where the world wants to kill you and the people wanna welcome ya. -Rogue Trader Garrak I'm guessing these aren't human error, but they needs to be fixed. It would be nice if "The Recruitment Process" was above the "Battle-Cry" as I find the "Battle-Cry" is a nice way to end the IA. Your first image dosen't have a back pack, why? Now you have to keep your side of the bargain... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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