Firenze Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 Index Astartes: Knights Griffon The Knights Griffon is a highly praised chapter, specialising in the silent takedown of enemy command and eating away at the heart of the foe. Praised for their work against the forces of the Ruinous Powers, the highly honourable, yet headstrong chapter bring some of the most dangerous Astartes in the galaxy to the battlefield. Origins ‘They came from nowhere all at once, cutting down the enemy without them knowing what happened. I saw it all, and my scope never lies.’ – Unnamed sniper of the 7th Varonian Regiment In M34, xenos invasions in the Segmentum Tempestus increased dramatically, primarily from Ork forces in the North-West of the sector. The High Lords of Terra commissioned the creation of a new chapter, named the Knights Griffon, to lighten the burden on the chapters already combating the rampaging armies of the greenskins and to defend the Uhilis sector. The Raptors chapter were designated to help found the fledgling force of Astartes, the first one hundred being recruited from various worlds in the Segmentum. The lead training officer, Captain Demetrius, noticed that at first, the many differing cultures of the Knights Griffon clashed terribly, different fighting styles and beliefs causing friction amongst the neophytes. But with strong discipline their mentors soon began to turn them into a lethal fighting force. While still being some of the greenest Astartes the trainers had taught, they could see that the new chapter was beginning to adopt stealth as a primary weapon, even taking their own mentors by surprise in combat exercises. In short time, the small company’s worth of Space Marines was sent into combat upon Mjölae VII against the Orks. The chapter began their long and bloody history upon this battlefield, sabotaging the xenos’ supply lines and raiding their camps, slaughtering all in the darkness. It was during this twenty year campaign through the Uhilis sector they came across the Lawrencian system. The Realm of Griffons Receiving a distress signal from the system, the Knights Griffon responded with all haste to save the system from the greenskin horde. Upon arriving in system, the Astartes assaulted the now Ork held mining world at the outreaches of the system. This broke the back of Ork’s force, wrecking their main staging post for their assault on the other two habitable planets in the system. As the Ork forces returned to defend the world, the Marines freed the surviving humans who had been taken prisoner by the Orks. Using their knowledge, the marines used the supposedly ‘deactivated’ orbital defences to destroy the greenskin fleet when they were moving into position to deploy their forces. Even with the surprise attack upon their fleet, the Orks were still able to deploy massive forces upon the planet. Over the next few months, the Imperial forces led a guerrilla war against the xenos, eventually holding out long enough for the Imperial relief force to arrive. The ordeal cost the lives of many Astartes, dropping their numbers well below operational standard. Yet, so impressed by the zeal and determination of the system’s inhabitants, they decided to adopt the Lawrencian system as their home, setting up a formidable fortress, named The Citadel, upon the mining world of Lawrencian Secundus they had just saved. The Imperial governor of the in system Hive world of Lawrencian Primaris pledged his allegiance and full support to the chapter, pledging to help supply and arm the Knights Griffon for the support of the Marines in defending the world. The now Chapter Master Demetrius accepted the offer, and began the long task of bringing the chapter to full strength. History ‘I have seen many of our brother chapters attack recklessly and with such ignorance of the codex, but none like these group of madmen.’ – Captain Arca Froxis of the Vengeance of the Emperor chapter As the chapter grew in notoriety, gaining more and more accolades over the first few centuries of service, their stealth and infiltration techniques became praised for their exceptional effect, and their unorthodoxy in their tactics and organisation being criticised. However, the long streak of successes was about to come to a crashing halt upon Gerixx Prime. Breaking Bonds In the year 687M36, six companies worth of the Knights Griffon chapter were deployed to Gerixx Prime alongside the Vengeance of the Emperor chapter at the spear-tip of a large crusade force to reclaim the planet and the surrounding system from the grip of the renegade warband going by the name The Brotherhood of Fire. The chaos marines had ransacked the worlds twenty years prior to the crusade, slugging it out against the PDF and small contingent of Imperial Guard that were stationed there. There was only one city that had held out against the onslaught upon Gerixx and it was this city was the main primary concern for the first drop. As soon as the astartes broke the surrounding orbital defence cordon, the two chapters boarded transports to the surface to defend the city of Dertin from an imminent attack. However, the loyalist marines were moments too late, as the traitor astartes had broken through the defence lines just as the first transports touched down at the starport. A great firefight between the Vengeance of the Emperor chapter and the Brotherhood of Fire broke out, tolling great casualties on either side within the first few hours. The Griffons however, were nowhere to be seen. Imperial command attempted to contact the Knights Griffon ground forces multiple times with no response. As night fell over the city, the fighting began to peter out as both sides fell back to lick their wounds. Returning to base camp, Captain Arca Froxis received vox contact from the Griffon’s lead captain, Lazarus Eros. The message was brief, containing only four words. ‘Fire in the hole’. With a crack like the world coming apart, an enormous ripple of demolition charges detonated in the Brotherhood of Fire’s lines, blowing apart vehicles, ammunition and fuel dumps and camp areas. The entire traitor line was in disarray, their main reserve force and supplies were annihilated in one blow. As the night wore on, more and more chaos marine bodies were found by the Vengeance of the Emperor patrols, a single knife slit through their necks or a bolt round to the back of the skull. When daybreak arrived, the Knights Griffon had returned to the starport. Captain Arca strode directly into the camp of the allied marine chapter flanked by his honour guard. Bursting into the command building the Griffons had requisitioned, he demanded that Captain Lazarus explain his rash actions of the past night. The Griffon captain stated only that he had performed a carefully planned mission, and that if Arca disliked the way they operated, then they would have to make do. Arca, bursting with rage, drew his sword, only to find that every single Knight Griffon had their weapons pointed at him. Defeated, the irate captain spat at Lazarus’s feet and strode out. The campaign continued for another three years, cleansing the system of the traitor scum, the Knights Griffon coming out to find that they had yet another enemy alongside them. Home world The planet of Lawrencian Secundus is an extremely hostile planet upon the surface, with expansive rocky deserts and mountain ranges. Only a few areas on the planet have water, and it is a valued commodity. It is primarily a mining world, supplying Vanadium, Titanium and Iron primarily to refineries upon the forge world of Varonia III, which in turn supplies many of the weapons and equipment used by the system’s PDF and the Knights Griffon. The population of Lawrencian Secundus is small, numbering only around 700 million, and in mainly focussed around the few large lakes upon the surface. Other population centres are hidden in the mountains. These hardy communities, primarily ones with a more feudal government, are the prime recruiting grounds for the Astartes upon the planet, producing hardy peoples perfect for gene development into marines. A certain tradition is practised by all peoples of the world, being formed by the settlers who colonised the planet. It is a form of martial art that teaches pushing the body to its limits, and sometimes even breaking those limits to achieve feats of greatness. Called O’ritu, the combat techniques have been adopted and adapted by the Knights Griffon to be perfect for use in battle. The chapter’s fortress monastery, The Citadel, is hidden in the Hell’s Pass Mountains, with only one stable route up a one hundred kilometre passage. The beginning of this route is guarded by a gate of enormous size, measuring twenty metres thick. Locals call it the Shield of Everlasting Light, and regularly adorn it with purity seals, flowers and prayers. It is due to this adoration by the population that the marines feel free to walk unhindered into the cities of the planet, visiting nobles and med centres to give the people their support and raise morale. This intertwining of cultures has led to a group of nobles forming their private forces into one large force named the Griffon’s Claws in honour of the marines. This force serves mainly as the chapter serfs and guards to The Citadel when the marines are on campaign. Beliefs ‘I would love to have a unit of men like these. They have initative, honour, exceptional talent in a tactical field. I just wish these so-called Griffons would listen to my orders a bit more’ – General Harguten of the 3728th Imprial Reclamation Force [857M41] Every astartes in the chapter shares the traditions of Lawrencian Secundus, practising O’ritu rigorously and developing their own personal styles of the martial art. Chaplains of the chapter use this primarily as a meditation technique, focussing the minds of the warriors under their tutelage. The Griffons are said to be very calm and honourable, if a little reckless in combat, yet it is due to these techniques that they have become a well respected unit. Viewing the Imperium as a whole, the Griffons believe each and every man, woman and child is but one tiny cog in a large machine, one that must work to it’s full efficiency to keep humanity alive. If one cog is lost or fails, the machine begins to falter. However, some parts may rust or become corrupt, and must be removed. Only by preserving this balance, do the Griffons believe that the Imperium will expand to new heights. To do this, the Griffons help civilians in times of need, and regularly visit their home world’s townships to build faith in the Imperium. Many chapters have expressed their dislike of the Griffon’s views on the Emperor as being no god. The chapter does not pray at all to the Emperor or their Primarch, yet respects them as they would fathers and leaders. This has caused rifts to appear between other Imperial organisations, most notably the Ordos Hereticus, who are beginning to take a notice in this strange practice. Combat Doctrine ‘Anything can be solved with a liberal amount of well placed explosives. And a knife. Trust me, it works’ – Captain Cyrian Firenze of the Knights Griffon The Knights Griffon are very unorthodox in their tactics, shunning the Codex Astartes in their standard tactical approach to warfare. Though sometimes their ways are similar to those portrayed in it, the chapter does not like to use the teachings of the Codex as a primary guide to fighting the enemies of the Imperium. The chapter’s reason for their dislike of the Codex is unclear, but has been rumoured to be due to having bad experiences when dealing with true Codex chapters such as the Furious Hawks and the Red Devils. The Knights Griffon have a dislike of the space marine bike and the jump pack, seeing them as unwieldy and excessively noisy objects, especially when their combat style is directed more to stealth and subterfuge. Vehicles such as Rhinos, Predators, Thunderhawks and Land Speeders have a large place in the chapter, being extremely precise and surgical implement s when in larger engagements, such as to insert recce teams into strategic locations or to provide distractions to allow the rest of their forces to sneak into enemy lines and wreak havoc. The chapter also is highly against the killing of civilians and non-combatants, and will actively attempt to remove them from a warzone before moving in to engage. The neophytes of the chapter are taught that their boltgun is their secondary weapon, with their combat knife being their primary. The marines are taught stealth and infiltrations techniques strictly, and in exercises are punished severely for allowing themselves to be detected. They are also taught in camouflage, a trait not seen in many marine chapters. However, instead of using camouflage patterns painted onto the armour, the chapter colours are always on display, but with a specialised ‘camoline paint’ (pioneered by Techmarine Derin Firenze of the chapter in M37) applied over the blue and white scheme, dulling the colours and blending to the lighting levels and colours as they move, making them harder to spot. Organisation ‘Pinpoint overall tactical accuracy was key here. And what did they do? Whatever they damn well pleased. It worked though’ – Chapter Master Eos Thyne of the Striking Eagles The chapter was originally organised like a codex chapter with ten companies. However, over time, with mounting losses, the number of companies decreased to only several. A radical change implemented by Chapter Master Irion Lionheart banded all of the companies along with the scout company into one large pool of resources. Captains would be able to decide on units to take along on as their taskforce for the campaign. Occasionally this does lead to disputes over resources between captains, yet the chapter master will always have the last say and allocate the units accordingly on need. This change of unit layout has not changed the progression of rank much though. Astartes must begin their combat career as a scout, like many other chapters, and rise through the ranks to earn their full armour. However, battle brothers who gain terminator honours are not inducted into a separate company, but instead gain extra training, the right to bear the Crux Terminatus on their shoulder and to move into specialist veteran squads. These squads occasionally are armoured in Tactical Dreadnought Armour. Many brothers choose not to show the Crux upon their being, and stay with their own squads until death or till every member earns his Honours. Vehicles and ships of the fleet however are allocated by the Master of the Forge and the Chapter Master according to their need in each taskforce. For instance, a taskforce commander using several squads to assault an Ork held world may need more armour, or more Thunderhawk support. Much of this relies on intelligence gathered prior to setting off. Notable Characters of the Knights Griffon Chapter Master Demetrius: The first Chapter Master of the Knights Griffon. A Captain of the Raptors chapter originally, he was assigned to train the new chapter in the art of war and take command once they were at combat capacity. Captain Lazarus Eros: A highly respected captain of the chapter, yet one who was extremely reckless and caused the rift between the Knights Griffon and the Vengeance of the Emperor chapter. Deceased as of the Lygax Massacre. Captain Cyrian Firenze: A very young captain, currently one of the favourites to take the post of chapter master when the current chapter master, Enazio Vassakov, is gone. He also pioneered the Griffon’s Claws combat blades, two forearm mounted power blades that can be retracted with a thought. Noted for his service in the Atlantis Campaign. Captain Janthium Leethal: One of the more laid back captains in the Astartes ranks, and also considers himself a joker. Usually brings a light sprinkling of humour to the tactical meetings. Noted for his exceptional command of armoured forces upon Hydrax III. Chaplain Ortan Skirax: The Master of Sancticity of the chapter, and one who is in charge of the wellbeing of the Griffons Claws who he takes great pride in training. Captain Splinter: A silent and brooding character, but one who has an amazing tactical mind and an excellent shot. Prefers to lead scout units into combat due to unknown reasons. Noted for his service in the Atlantis Campaign. Geneseed ‘Those Marines... When I first saw them, I thought that they would be like many of the notable chapters such as the Ultramarines. How wrong I was…’ – Colonel Kerin Drew, 85th Cadian regiment Originally descended from the Raptors chapter directly, and therefore the geneseed of Corax, the Knights Griffon have inherited the quirks and flaws of the Raven Guard and their successors. The Griffons have a pale complexion and sharp eyes. Their hair is also very dark, although the occasional few have white hair. Many marines combat this by shaving their heads regularly. Due to the damaged geneseed of Corax, Terra supplies the chapter once a century with a shipment of supplementary geneseeds, similar to other chapters with the same lineage, to help keep the stocks up and ready. This flaw has shown in their recruitment, as the amount of neophytes being accepted is much lower than other chapters. Battle Cry ‘Into them! With Fire and Steel!’ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosjetka Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 Looks good, I really enjoyed reading the IA :P I love the unique feel to your Chapter and your colour scheme :lol: Great work. What are you thinking of adding/changing? Ludovic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firenze Posted December 18, 2010 Author Share Posted December 18, 2010 Thanks for the kind words. This is actually the 3rd draft, and has changed dramatically since the last one. Ill probably add some formatting, a couple sections to history and play around a little with a few ideas (no spoilers :P). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firenze Posted December 24, 2010 Author Share Posted December 24, 2010 No replies? Ive been practising BBCode, so should have formatting done in a couple of days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apothete Posted December 25, 2010 Share Posted December 25, 2010 Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it. The Knights Griffon is a highly praised chapter, specialising in the silent takedown of enemy command and eating away at the heart of the foe. Praised for their work against the forces of the Ruinous Powers, the highly honourable, yet headstrong chapter bring some of the most dangerous Astartes in the galaxy to the battlefield. Around here, we have a saying that applies to overhyping your creations or giving them characteristics that they shouldn't possess. The acronym MISS stands for "Me, I'm So Super" and it's a shorthand for a concept, much like ones you may be more familiar with - like Mary Sue, for example. In this case, you've set out the beginning of your writeup by taking elements that are common to all Astartes, such as their ferociousness, use in high-risk surgical strikes, and opposition to Chaos and writing it in such a way as to imply that your creation is somehow highly praiseworthy for their actions. If they were so great, we'd likely have heard of them already in some official Games Workshop publication. Tone it down and find something original to say, please. The lead training officer, Captain Demetrius, noticed that at first, the many differing cultures of the Knights Griffon clashed terribly, different fighting styles and beliefs causing friction amongst the neophytes. But with strong discipline their mentors soon began to turn them into a lethal fighting force. While still being some of the greenest Astartes the trainers had taught, they could see that the new chapter was beginning to adopt stealth as a primary weapon, even taking their own mentors by surprise in combat exercises. Lead training officer? That's a bit downscale for the pomp and bombast of an Imperial history, isn't it? Is that his official title or are you just using modernisms as shorthand? If the former, I'd suggest you explain why it came to be. If not, then perhaps you ought to consider writing in a tone that more suits the description of armored, gene-engineered, screaming bald men who are hell-bent on breaking anything their shriveled Dad says is bad. Follow me? From there, you reach a new issue in what you call "the greenest Astartes the trainers had taught." If the aspirants were unsuitable, then it wouldn't have done them much good to continue with substandard students and they would probably just let them die during the horrible, miserably dangerous training that is so common to all Chapters. I'd also be careful about calling your neophytes "green" and then having them somehow become amazing stealth specialists with no explanation, topping their decades or centuries-old mentors in feats of cunning and brutality. It's kind of silly. In short time, the small company’s worth of Space Marines was sent into combat upon Mjölae VII against the Orks. The chapter began their long and bloody history upon this battlefield, sabotaging the xenos’ supply lines and raiding their camps, slaughtering all in the darkness. It was during this twenty year campaign through the Uhilis sector they came across the Lawrencian system. ...why? In order: Why would the former Raptors of the training cadre risk the entire legacy of this fledgling Chapter by taking their entire untested force into battle at once? Even if they were willing to risk the entire crop of neophytes, something I might accept is justifiable if they really think that they're terrible and deployed as scouts without the Black Carapce, surely they would want to preserve as much geneseed as possible. Why send raw, baby faced recruits in against one of the most berserk and fearsome foes they might meet with only a tiny handful of combat veterans to lead them? How did the campaign last twenty years? Why were reinforcements not called in? Were they recruiting during the time period to replace the losses they were sure to be taking? If so, who was doing the training if everyone was deployed? If not, how are they not extinct? Why does your planet have a number after it? That sort of naming convention normally means that all planetary bodies are named for the star they orbit and measure distance from the center? Why is the battle significant in the first place? What does it add to the Chapter? Receiving a distress signal from the system, the Knights Griffon responded with all haste to save the system from the greenskin horde. Upon arriving in system, the Astartes assaulted the now Ork held mining world at the outreaches of the system. This broke the back of Ork’s force, wrecking their main staging post for their assault on the other two habitable planets in the system. As the Ork forces returned to defend the world, the Marines freed the surviving humans who had been taken prisoner by the Orks. Using their knowledge, the marines used the supposedly ‘deactivated’ orbital defences to destroy the greenskin fleet when they were moving into position to deploy their forces. Even with the surprise attack upon their fleet, the Orks were still able to deploy massive forces upon the planet. What knowledge are they coming up with in order to reactivate orbital defenses? You made quite the distinction that these recruits were sub-par and not impressive to their trainers, remember? Then, after that, they've been combatting Orks in commando raids on the ground, not fighting in space. Also, the phrase "broke the back" implies that the brunt of the war was over. It's a fairly decisive way to present something that was apparently just the preface to further fighting. You further complicate this with the throwaway line about how the Ork fleet was destroyed, then the very next line say that a huge number of foes land on the surface even though their ships are gone. Which is it? Over the next few months, the Imperial forces led a guerrilla war against the xenos, eventually holding out long enough for the Imperial relief force to arrive. The ordeal cost the lives of many Astartes, dropping their numbers well below operational standard. Yet, so impressed by the zeal and determination of the system’s inhabitants, they decided to adopt the Lawrencian system as their home, setting up a formidable fortress, named The Citadel, upon the mining world of Lawrencian Secundus they had just saved. ...and here you make my point for me. If the Chapter was fighting in a situation where they would risk the obliteration of their numbers so close to their original founding, perhaps sending the entire force into combat is not the best decision. Also, once the greenskins are established on a planet, they've seeded it with their peculiar ecostructure and aren't going away short of a nuke and pave operation. They'll come back over and over again, rising from the dark corners of the world and gaining sophistication as more of them join the WAAAGH. This isn't believable at all. As the chapter grew in notoriety, gaining more and more accolades over the first few centuries of service, their stealth and infiltration techniques became praised for their exceptional effect, and their unorthodoxy in their tactics and organisation being criticised. However, the long streak of successes was about to come to a crashing halt upon Gerixx Prime. So they're stealthy, unorthodox madmen who are unbelievably invisible and yet wastefully reckless in their charges. Right. I think you need to decide which way you're going here. In the year 687M36, six companies worth of the Knights Griffon chapter were deployed to Gerixx Prime alongside the Vengeance of the Emperor chapter at the spear-tip of a large crusade force to reclaim the planet and the surrounding system from the grip of the renegade warband going by the name The Brotherhood of Fire. The chaos marines had ransacked the worlds twenty years prior to the crusade, slugging it out against the PDF and small contingent of Imperial Guard that were stationed there. There was only one city that had held out against the onslaught upon Gerixx and it was this city was the main primary concern for the first drop. Six companies from one Chapter for a single world? Really? This is exactly the sort of thing that you either need a hell of an explanation for or need to realize would be such a big deal that the Imperium at large would know about it. On top of the Brothers from your Chapter, there's an unspecified number of other Marines also dropping to wage war against a single warband that apparently "slugged it out" against PDF and Guard. That doesn't really imply a force that requires that kind of response or lives up to your previous claims of legendary strength and success of your creations. A great firefight between the Vengeance of the Emperor chapter and the Brotherhood of Fire broke out, tolling great casualties on either side within the first few hours. Further denigration of the Astartes involved, if regular Imperial troops stand toe to toe and slow the warband down but Marines are falling in huge numbers... As night fell over the city, the fighting began to peter out as both sides fell back to lick their wounds. Returning to base camp, Captain Arca Froxis received vox contact from the Griffon’s lead captain, Lazarus Eros. Lazarus... Eros... A literal translation of that name's implications would be "undying or resurrected lust, beauty, and fertility," just so you know. The message was brief, containing only four words. ‘Fire in the hole’. With a crack like the world coming apart, an enormous ripple of demolition charges detonated in the Brotherhood of Fire’s lines, blowing apart vehicles, ammunition and fuel dumps and camp areas. The entire traitor line was in disarray, their main reserve force and supplies were annihilated in one blow. As the night wore on, more and more chaos marine bodies were found by the Vengeance of the Emperor patrols, a single knife slit through their necks or a bolt round to the back of the skull. I wonder how the Vengeange would feel about knowing the Knights had no intention of fighting alongside them, instead using them as expendable bait so that they could conduct commando raids. Of course, I also wonder why the Vengeance were fighting a conventional war rather than something more akin to standard Astartes doctrine. There's also the small matter of these juvenile delinquents managing to surprise what are likely highly experienced, Chaos-blessed warriors who far outmeasure them in combat experience, yet who are curiously blind and deaf to their approach. It's almost as if they magically became uber-sneaky in a matter of decades, going from gawky and sneer-worthy wannabes to something that can take down a crusty combat monster in the blink of an eye, despite the latter's far, far greater time in service. That couldn't be true, could it? The Griffon captain stated only that he had performed a carefully planned mission, and that if Arca disliked the way they operated, then they would have to make do. Arca, bursting with rage, drew his sword, only to find that every single Knight Griffon had their weapons pointed at him. Defeated, the irate captain spat at Lazarus’s feet and strode out. The campaign continued for another three years, cleansing the system of the traitor scum, the Knights Griffon coming out to find that they had yet another enemy alongside them. Oh, and now they're defeating a senior Chapter's Captain and Honor Guard, too. Totally not MISS at all... A certain tradition is practised by all peoples of the world, being formed by the settlers who colonised the planet. It is a form of martial art that teaches pushing the body to its limits, and sometimes even breaking those limits to achieve feats of greatness. Called O’ritu, the combat techniques have been adopted and adapted by the Knights Griffon to be perfect for use in battle. Well, we might as well add a special, superhuman martial art while we're at it. Every astartes in the chapter shares the traditions of Lawrencian Secundus, practising O’ritu rigorously and developing their own personal styles of the martial art. Chaplains of the chapter use this primarily as a meditation technique, focussing the minds of the warriors under their tutelage. The Griffons are said to be very calm and honourable, if a little reckless in combat, yet it is due to these techniques that they have become a well respected unit. Are you intentionally invoking dissonant elements in your descriptions for a reason I can't fathom? How is someone going to be calm and reckless at the same time? Recklessness strongly implies a lack of judgement and impaired ability to make proper choices, not someone patiently stalking through the shadows and waiting for their moment to strike. Also, you're using modernisms again. Viewing the Imperium as a whole, the Griffons believe each and every man, woman and child is but one tiny cog in a large machine, one that must work to it’s full efficiency to keep humanity alive. If one cog is lost or fails, the machine begins to falter. However, some parts may rust or become corrupt, and must be removed. So how does this mesh with their willingness to let Brother Astartes die in their place so that their grand plan can be executed? The resources necessary to train a Marine are complex, expensive, and time-consuming in the extreme, making them much larger cogs than simple guardsmen or PDF. Seems pretty inefficient to me. Many chapters have expressed their dislike of the Griffon’s views on the Emperor as being no god. The chapter does not pray at all to the Emperor or their Primarch, yet respects them as they would fathers and leaders. This has caused rifts to appear between other Imperial organisations, most notably the Ordos Hereticus, who are beginning to take a notice in this strange practice. Most Chapters, especially those of long pedigree and memory know that the Emperor is no god. They revere him as the greatest man to ever live, a guiding light upon which to fixate their own goals, but nothing divine or in need of worship. What you're referring to is the Imperial Cult of the Ecclesiarchy and the changes that came from the Lectitio Divinatus, a book penned by Lorgar, who you might recall later went traitor and consorted extensively with daemons and the warp. Maybe you didn't know that? The Knights Griffon are very unorthodox in their tactics, shunning the Codex Astartes in their standard tactical approach to warfare. Though sometimes their ways are similar to those portrayed in it, the chapter does not like to use the teachings of the Codex as a primary guide to fighting the enemies of the Imperium. The chapter’s reason for their dislike of the Codex is unclear, but has been rumoured to be due to having bad experiences when dealing with true Codex chapters such as the Furious Hawks and the Red Devils. That's interesting, considering that you open the writeup with them behaving and organizing in ways that aren't necessarily Codex-adherent. Maybe you should spend more time explaining to us why they deviate and less time brushing it off, since it's a fairly major difference. Vehicles such as Rhinos, Predators, Thunderhawks and Land Speeders have a large place in the chapter, being extremely precise and surgical implement s when in larger engagements, such as to insert recce teams into strategic locations or to provide distractions to allow the rest of their forces to sneak into enemy lines and wreak havoc. The chapter also is highly against the killing of civilians and non-combatants, and will actively attempt to remove them from a warzone before moving in to engage. Oh, right... I forgot that enormous engines in tanks and enormous flying craft that are orbit and spaceflight capable are totally quietier than a jetpack or a bike. Also, recce is a modern term. I sense a recurring pattern here. Could you explain to us, as well, just how their respect for civilians meshes with a Chapter that will so gladly sacrifice Astartes not of their Chapter and then threaten the Captain of their supposed allies? The neophytes of the chapter are taught that their boltgun is their secondary weapon, with their combat knife being their primary. The marines are taught stealth and infiltrations techniques strictly, and in exercises are punished severely for allowing themselves to be detected. They are also taught in camouflage, a trait not seen in many marine chapters. However, instead of using camouflage patterns painted onto the armour, the chapter colours are always on display, but with a specialised ‘camoline paint’ (pioneered by Techmarine Derin Firenze of the chapter in M37) applied over the blue and white scheme, dulling the colours and blending to the lighting levels and colours as they move, making them harder to spot. So they don't use camoflage, except that they use camoflage? Nice self-insertion, by the way. The chapter was originally organised like a codex chapter with ten companies. However, over time, with mounting losses, the number of companies decreased to only several. Several? A radical change implemented by Chapter Master Irion Lionheart banded all of the companies along with the scout company into one large pool of resources. Captains would be able to decide on units to take along on as their taskforce for the campaign. Occasionally this does lead to disputes over resources between captains, yet the chapter master will always have the last say and allocate the units accordingly on need. That seems... strange. How do they manage to operate without inefficiencies if they're scrapping over resources and always deploying from a central location, which would almost be a requirement of having a single pool of resources? You'd have to dispatch forces from the Fortress Monastery and send them wherever they were going, sometimes taking months or years to reach the target depending on distance. That's so much more sensible than having Strike Cruisers with independent commands and full complements of standard units spread across your area of responsibility, ready to respond. However, battle brothers who gain terminator honours are not inducted into a separate company, but instead gain extra training, the right to bear the Crux Terminatus on their shoulder and to move into specialist veteran squads. These squads occasionally are armoured in Tactical Dreadnought Armour. Many brothers choose not to show the Crux upon their being, and stay with their own squads until death or till every member earns his Honours. So this stealth-based Chapter that abhors noise even uses Tactical Dreadnought Armor, which is the slowest, clumsiest, loudest set of power armor ever created? Also, you provide no explanation for the brothers remaining in place or refusing to wear their honors, with the former point seeming to contradict the claim that the Chapter Master makes all important decisions for the deployment of forces. Due to the damaged geneseed of Corax, Terra supplies the chapter once a century with a shipment of supplementary geneseeds, similar to other chapters with the same lineage, to help keep the stocks up and ready. This flaw has shown in their recruitment, as the amount of neophytes being accepted is much lower than other chapters. Why would Terra waste the resources on founding a Chapter that they would have to supply with additonal geneseed? If the Chapter cannot be self-supporting and tithe back to the Adeptus Mechanicus, then they're taking up more than they have any right to. ‘Into them! With Fire and Steel!’ That's not terribly stealthy, is it? ---- In more general terms, you have a lot of sloppy mistakes in capitalization, punctuation, term usage, and other similar structural elements. I declined to go into specifics because you have much larger problems to deal with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firenze Posted December 25, 2010 Author Share Posted December 25, 2010 Apothete: In fact, that sort of tearing apart is just what I needed to get this IA good. Now you point them out, the problems are really quite obvious. I'll get a proper reply up tommorow. Xmas has taken its toll on me :o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firenze Posted January 17, 2011 Author Share Posted January 17, 2011 Around here, we have a saying that applies to overhyping your creations or giving them characteristics that they shouldn't possess. The acronym MISS stands for "Me, I'm So Super" and it's a shorthand for a concept, much like ones you may be more familiar with - like Mary Sue, for example. In this case, you've set out the beginning of your writeup by taking elements that are common to all Astartes, such as their ferociousness, use in high-risk surgical strikes, and opposition to Chaos and writing it in such a way as to imply that your creation is somehow highly praiseworthy for their actions. If they were so great, we'd likely have heard of them already in some official Games Workshop publication. Tone it down and find something original to say, please. Sorry, I might have to change it then. I just wanted to kinda grab peoples attention to the IA when they read it. Lead training officer? That's a bit downscale for the pomp and bombast of an Imperial history, isn't it? Is that his official title or are you just using modernisms as shorthand? If the former, I'd suggest you explain why it came to be. If not, then perhaps you ought to consider writing in a tone that more suits the description of armored, gene-engineered, screaming bald men who are hell-bent on breaking anything their shriveled Dad says is bad. Follow me? From there, you reach a new issue in what you call "the greenest Astartes the trainers had taught." If the aspirants were unsuitable, then it wouldn't have done them much good to continue with substandard students and they would probably just let them die during the horrible, miserably dangerous training that is so common to all Chapters. I'd also be careful about calling your neophytes "green" and then having them somehow become amazing stealth specialists with no explanation, topping their decades or centuries-old mentors in feats of cunning and brutality. It's kind of silly. Right. The modernisms, as you call it, is just how I write. I see the Astartes using phrases such as that in there chapter. Not all of them are screaming bald men ^_^ I'll probably change the fact about the recruits. I will also try to make it a bit more plausible about how they became a covert chapter. Maybe including hunting tactics from their home worlds? ...why? In order: Why would the former Raptors of the training cadre risk the entire legacy of this fledgling Chapter by taking their entire untested force into battle at once? Even if they were willing to risk the entire crop of neophytes, something I might accept is justifiable if they really think that they're terrible and deployed as scouts without the Black Carapce, surely they would want to preserve as much geneseed as possible. Why send raw, baby faced recruits in against one of the most berserk and fearsome foes they might meet with only a tiny handful of combat veterans to lead them? How did the campaign last twenty years? Why were reinforcements not called in? Were they recruiting during the time period to replace the losses they were sure to be taking? If so, who was doing the training if everyone was deployed? If not, how are they not extinct? Why does your planet have a number after it? That sort of naming convention normally means that all planetary bodies are named for the star they orbit and measure distance from the center? Why is the battle significant in the first place? What does it add to the Chapter? Not every man will be a full marine, many of them will still be scouts due to the fact that they havent earnt the right to wear the armour. They were also supported by a crusade fleet, which I shall have to make more apparent in the text. The campaign was in the Uhilis SECTOR. Cleansing their way through a sector would take around twenty years. Even for a large crusade force. Yes they were recruiting still. No Astartes chapter stops their recruiting. I could make it less of the companys worth going into combat though if you wish. About the planet name, its just that I figured there could be a few other planets with the name Mjolae, a couple of them in the same system. It is their first action, and leads onto the discovery of the homeworld. What knowledge are they coming up with in order to reactivate orbital defenses? You made quite the distinction that these recruits were sub-par and not impressive to their trainers, remember? Then, after that, they've been combatting Orks in commando raids on the ground, not fighting in space. Also, the phrase "broke the back" implies that the brunt of the war was over. It's a fairly decisive way to present something that was apparently just the preface to further fighting. You further complicate this with the throwaway line about how the Ork fleet was destroyed, then the very next line say that a huge number of foes land on the surface even though their ships are gone. Which is it? The locals had some knowledge of the defences, and along with the chapters only techmarine, they jury rigged them. This will be added don't worry. It never said that all their ships were destroyed. I said that the RESERVE of the Ork fleets was knackered. The rest of the fleet returned back to defend their staging post in the system. Many of these were destroyed, but not all due to the surprise firing from the planet. I should have made that apparent actually. ...and here you make my point for me. If the Chapter was fighting in a situation where they would risk the obliteration of their numbers so close to their original founding, perhaps sending the entire force into combat is not the best decision. Also, once the greenskins are established on a planet, they've seeded it with their peculiar ecostructure and aren't going away short of a nuke and pave operation. They'll come back over and over again, rising from the dark corners of the world and gaining sophistication as more of them join the WAAAGH. This isn't believable at all. There are many planets that have small Ork infestations and can deal with it. I don't see how this is a massive problem. Thank you for bringing this up though, I forgot about that piece of fluff. I will make it so the chapter goes on regular purges to cleanse area of the planet from the Orks. It is still ongoing, with flamer and chainsword :D So they're stealthy, unorthodox madmen who are unbelievably invisible and yet wastefully reckless in their charges. Right. I think you need to decide which way you're going here. They are a stealth based chapter primarily, however use unorthodox tactics and combat organisation that can be seen as reckless or headstrong. And they are not unbelieably invisible either. They do mount full on attacks still, especially when the situation calls for it. Six companies from one Chapter for a single world? Really? This is exactly the sort of thing that you either need a hell of an explanation for or need to realize would be such a big deal that the Imperium at large would know about it. On top of the Brothers from your Chapter, there's an unspecified number of other Marines also dropping to wage war against a single warband that apparently "slugged it out" against PDF and Guard. That doesn't really imply a force that requires that kind of response or lives up to your previous claims of legendary strength and success of your creations. Read it again. The WORLDS. It is a crusade to cleanse the system of the Brotherhood of Fire. It is a DIY I'm in the process of writing, and it is an entire chapter of renegade marines. Remember these are chaos marines, not squishy IG. Further denigration of the Astartes involved, if regular Imperial troops stand toe to toe and slow the warband down but Marines are falling in huge numbers... The Vengeance of the Emperor were trying to secure the landing zone when they broke through. It was a large battle, and that many bolt rounds flying around is going to kill quite a few marines. And casulties doesnt mean dead, just out of action. Lazarus... Eros... A literal translation of that name's implications would be "undying or resurrected lust, beauty, and fertility," just so you know. Really? :cry: Oops. I didn't do Latin. I just thought the name sounded cool. It'll go. I wonder how the Vengeange would feel about knowing the Knights had no intention of fighting alongside them, instead using them as expendable bait so that they could conduct commando raids. Of course, I also wonder why the Vengeance were fighting a conventional war rather than something more akin to standard Astartes doctrine. There's also the small matter of these juvenile delinquents managing to surprise what are likely highly experienced, Chaos-blessed warriors who far outmeasure them in combat experience, yet who are curiously blind and deaf to their approach. It's almost as if they magically became uber-sneaky in a matter of decades, going from gawky and sneer-worthy wannabes to something that can take down a crusty combat monster in the blink of an eye, despite the latter's far, far greater time in service. That couldn't be true, could it? The Vengeance of the Emperor are another of my DIY, and are alot more arrogant than the Griffons and younger by a millenium too. They are very pious and do not always follow the codex, prefering to fight where they can see the enemy, and the enemy can see them. I have to write a DIY for them too. I do like making up my chapters <_< This isn't a couple of decades from the chapter founding. This is actually two millenia afterwards. The chapter has evolved alot since the beginnings. I think I will change it so they ambushed them, so small pockets of isolated fighting, the Griffons using stealth to close then opening fire and cutting down the small patrol teams. Oh, and now they're defeating a senior Chapter's Captain and Honor Guard, too. Totally not MISS at all... Junior Chapter's captain. And they didn't open fire. they threatened him with an entire war room full of boltguns. Even an Astartes would blanche at that. Well, we might as well add a special, superhuman martial art while we're at it. I only added it to give more depth to the home world. I also added it as to be a form of meditation to focus the minds of the Griffons rather than doing it through prayer. Are you intentionally invoking dissonant elements in your descriptions for a reason I can't fathom? How is someone going to be calm and reckless at the same time? Recklessness strongly implies a lack of judgement and impaired ability to make proper choices, not someone patiently stalking through the shadows and waiting for their moment to strike. Also, you're using modernisms again. Aye, the recklessness will tone down a little I think. Its just that they can occasionally get carried away and attempt to completely annihalate the enemy force using their preffered tactics. Usually seeing the error of their ways before it gets truly out of hand. So how does this mesh with their willingness to let Brother Astartes die in their place so that their grand plan can be executed? The resources necessary to train a Marine are complex, expensive, and time-consuming in the extreme, making them much larger cogs than simple guardsmen or PDF. Seems pretty inefficient to me. I should have also added that they see all Loyalist Astartes as protectors of this goal, and should gladly lay down their lives for it. I typed this in my mind.... My fingers didn't respond obviously. Most Chapters, especially those of long pedigree and memory know that the Emperor is no god. They revere him as the greatest man to ever live, a guiding light upon which to fixate their own goals, but nothing divine or in need of worship. What you're referring to is the Imperial Cult of the Ecclesiarchy and the changes that came from the Lectitio Divinatus, a book penned by Lorgar, who you might recall later went traitor and consorted extensively with daemons and the warp. Maybe you didn't know that? I did know about Lorgar, don't worry. And I thought that almost all chapters pray to the Emperor. That is why I put it there, to say that they do not pray to him. That's interesting, considering that you open the writeup with them behaving and organizing in ways that aren't necessarily Codex-adherent. Maybe you should spend more time explaining to us why they deviate and less time brushing it off, since it's a fairly major difference. I myself am still trying to work out how they are divergent and why. It is quite hard to do so. Oh, right... I forgot that enormous engines in tanks and enormous flying craft that are orbit and spaceflight capable are totally quietier than a jetpack or a bike. Also, recce is a modern term. I sense a recurring pattern here. Could you explain to us, as well, just how their respect for civilians meshes with a Chapter that will so gladly sacrifice Astartes not of their Chapter and then threaten the Captain of their supposed allies? Armoured vehicles make a good Distraction from the main attack. Think about it. A column of Astartes tanks rumbling towards you is going to draw you attention alot better than a squad of mean sneaking past you. And yes, I use modernisms... They didn't threaten the captain first, he drew first in rage, they just retaliated. So they don't use camoflage, except that they use camoflage? Nice self-insertion, by the way. It was a good way to explain why they used their chapter colours on he battlefield yet also being unseen. I ran it past the Amicus before I put it in, don't worry. Cheers, I did it twice :tu: Several? Yes. Seven. Several. 700(ish) Marines. That seems... strange. How do they manage to operate without inefficiencies if they're scrapping over resources and always deploying from a central location, which would almost be a requirement of having a single pool of resources? You'd have to dispatch forces from the Fortress Monastery and send them wherever they were going, sometimes taking months or years to reach the target depending on distance. That's so much more sensible than having Strike Cruisers with independent commands and full complements of standard units spread across your area of responsibility, ready to respond. Aye, I have been thinking about this for a while. I think I may make it so Tactical squads are under direct command of each Captain, with any other elements selected before they move out to war. They are usually away from Lawrencian Secundus for a while, so return to rearm, reinforce and change their force around. They still can operate like companies, but with a bit more toys to play with, albeit a lot less boots on the ground. I think I may have to think this one through still. So this stealth-based Chapter that abhors noise even uses Tactical Dreadnought Armor, which is the slowest, clumsiest, loudest set of power armor ever created? Also, you provide no explanation for the brothers remaining in place or refusing to wear their honors, with the former point seeming to contradict the claim that the Chapter Master makes all important decisions for the deployment of forces. TDA is a great piece of wargear for strike insertions into combat via teleport. It is exceptionally got for usage in breakthrough missions, punching a hole right in the middle of the enemy that the PA guys can exploit. The brothers not wearing their honours is due to the fact they want to stay with the squad they are with, a little like how Space Wolves stay as a pack till the death of them all. (And no, I am not trying to be like a SW chapter. It was just a comparison) Why would Terra waste the resources on founding a Chapter that they would have to supply with additonal geneseed? If the Chapter cannot be self-supporting and tithe back to the Adeptus Mechanicus, then they're taking up more than they have any right to. They still send a tithe of the Geneseed from their battle brothers. It is just that their own resources are dwindling, and occasionally need resupplying. That's not terribly stealthy, is it? I'll ditch it then. I just didn't want to end on a bum note. In more general terms, you have a lot of sloppy mistakes in capitalization, punctuation, term usage, and other similar structural elements. I declined to go into specifics because you have much larger problems to deal with. I used Microsoft Word. It is terrible I know. But, I shall go through it again and sort it out. Don't worry, it'll be after I have redone the rest B) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Don't worry.. Some of us have attempted something in the region of 8 IA's since joining B&C. Plus, I refer to Apothete as Mr Stompy now :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firenze Posted January 17, 2011 Author Share Posted January 17, 2011 I can see why :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinzaren Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 As we are brothers in the campaign to purge the Orks, I better see what the Knights are all about :) The Knights Griffon is a highly praised chapter, specialising in the silent takedown of enemy command and eating away at the heart of the foe. Praised for their work against the forces of the Ruinous Powers, the highly honourable, yet headstrong chapter bring some of the most dangerous Astartes in the galaxy to the battlefield. This sounds fairly M.I.S.S. (Me? I'm. So. Super.) Perhaps instead say, "Praised for their work against the forces of the Ruinous Powers, this highly honorable yet headstrong chapter leaves no doubts as to why the Astartes are the most dangerous forces of the Imperium, on any battlefield." The lead training officer, Captain Demetrius, noticed that at first, the many differing cultures of the Knights Griffon clashed terribly, different fighting styles and beliefs causing friction amongst the neophytes. But with strong discipline their mentors soon began to turn them into a lethal fighting force. While still being some of the greenest Astartes the trainers had taught, they could see that the new chapter was beginning to adopt stealth as a primary weapon, even taking their own mentors by surprise in combat exercises. Perhaps greenest isn't the best word, as even the base Astartes scout/recruit is still ferociously deadly. Perhaps instead mention how initially the Knights took some time to adapt to the ways of Astartes combat. In short time, the small company’s worth of Space Marines was sent into combat upon Mjölae VII against the Orks. The chapter began their long and bloody history upon this battlefield, sabotaging the xenos’ supply lines and raiding their camps, slaughtering all in the darkness. It was during this twenty year campaign through the Uhilis sector they came across the Lawrencian system. A 20 year campaign with fresh recruits? I dunno, seems a little much, right off the bat. Perhaps shorten the campaign, or have them fighting alongside other allies? Perhaps the Black Swans could be of use here, giving you a good tie in, and a reason to aid them later? As the Ork forces returned to defend the world, the Marines freed the surviving humans who had been taken prisoner by the Orks. Using their knowledge, the marines used the supposedly ‘deactivated’ orbital defences to destroy the greenskin fleet when they were moving into position to deploy their forces. Even with the surprise attack upon their fleet, the Orks were still able to deploy massive forces upon the planet. If they destroyed the fleet, how did they deploy massive forces? Over the next few months, the Imperial forces led a guerrilla war against the xenos, eventually holding out long enough for the Imperial relief force to arrive. The ordeal cost the lives of many Astartes, dropping their numbers well below operational standard. Yet, so impressed by the zeal and determination of the system’s inhabitants, they decided to adopt the Lawrencian system as their home, setting up a formidable fortress, named The Citadel, upon the mining world of Lawrencian Secundus they had just saved. If they controlled Space, why would a guerrilla war be necessary? Couldn't they just use lance strikes from orbit to remove the largest threat areas, and focus on defensive actions until they got back up? As night fell over the city, the fighting began to peter out as both sides fell back to lick their wounds. Returning to base camp, Captain Arca Froxis received vox contact from the Griffon’s lead captain, Lazarus Eros. The message was brief, containing only four words. ‘Fire in the hole’. With a crack like the world coming apart, an enormous ripple of demolition charges detonated in the Brotherhood of Fire’s lines, blowing apart vehicles, ammunition and fuel dumps and camp areas. The entire traitor line was in disarray, their main reserve force and supplies were annihilated in one blow. As the night wore on, more and more chaos marine bodies were found by the Vengeance of the Emperor patrols, a single knife slit through their necks or a bolt round to the back of the skull. Its tough to believe that Traitor Astartes with thousands of years of experience would be caught off-guard so many times. Perhaps the early scouts and such, but I don't see it being very likely that so many traitors would be caught with their pants down. When daybreak arrived, the Knights Griffon had returned to the starport. Captain Arca strode directly into the camp of the allied marine chapter flanked by his honour guard. Bursting into the command building the Griffons had requisitioned, he demanded that Captain Lazarus explain his rash actions of the past night. The Griffon captain stated only that he had performed a carefully planned mission, and that if Arca disliked the way they operated, then they would have to make do. Arca, bursting with rage, drew his sword, only to find that every single Knight Griffon had their weapons pointed at him. Defeated, the irate captain spat at Lazarus’s feet and strode out. The campaign continued for another three years, cleansing the system of the traitor scum, the Knights Griffon coming out to find that they had yet another enemy alongside them. 3 years alongside a force that outright hates you? That seems... untenable. A certain tradition is practised by all peoples of the world, being formed by the settlers who colonised the planet. It is a form of martial art that teaches pushing the body to its limits, and sometimes even breaking those limits to achieve feats of greatness. Called O’ritu, the combat techniques have been adopted and adapted by the Knights Griffon to be perfect for use in battle. The problem with most martial arts and Astartes is that most Astartes are trained in CQC the way their forebearers were trained, and it is a wickedly effective system, one tailored to the specific strengths and weaknesses of the Astartes. I doubt the Lawrencian martial art would be as effective for the Astartes. The chapter’s fortress monastery, The Citadel, is hidden in the Hell’s Pass Mountains, with only one stable route up a one hundred kilometre passage. The beginning of this route is guarded by a gate of enormous size, measuring twenty metres thick. Locals call it the Shield of Everlasting Light, and regularly adorn it with purity seals, flowers and prayers. It is due to this adoration by the population that the marines feel free to walk unhindered into the cities of the planet, visiting nobles and med centres to give the people their support and raise morale. This intertwining of cultures has led to a group of nobles forming their private forces into one large force named the Griffon’s Claws in honour of the marines. This force serves mainly as the chapter serfs and guards to The Citadel when the marines are on campaign. So it is hidden, but the pass has a big gate saying "We are behind this?" :P Doesn't really make sense haha. Every astartes in the chapter shares the traditions of Lawrencian Secundus, practising O’ritu rigorously and developing their own personal styles of the martial art. Chaplains of the chapter use this primarily as a meditation technique, focussing the minds of the warriors under their tutelage. The Griffons are said to be very calm and honourable, if a little reckless in combat, yet it is due to these techniques that they have become a well respected unit. See above for Martial Arts. Viewing the Imperium as a whole, the Griffons believe each and every man, woman and child is but one tiny cog in a large machine, one that must work to it’s full efficiency to keep humanity alive. If one cog is lost or fails, the machine begins to falter. However, some parts may rust or become corrupt, and must be removed. Only by preserving this balance, do the Griffons believe that the Imperium will expand to new heights. To do this, the Griffons help civilians in times of need, and regularly visit their home world’s townships to build faith in the Imperium. So, they are humanitarian marines? It is never expressly stated, so I thought some clarification might be good :) Many chapters have expressed their dislike of the Griffon’s views on the Emperor as being no god. The chapter does not pray at all to the Emperor or their Primarch, yet respects them as they would fathers and leaders. This has caused rifts to appear between other Imperial organisations, most notably the Ordos Hereticus, who are beginning to take a notice in this strange practice. This isn't unique at all, rather it is the normal Astartes belief system. I doubt the =][= would get on you guys, but not the other 999 chapters. For one thing, the Marine belief system is pretty separate from the rest of the Imperium, so I doubt you'll take any flak for it. Knights Griffon are very unorthodox in their tactics, shunning the Codex Astartes in their standard tactical approach to warfare. Though sometimes their ways are similar to those portrayed in it, the chapter does not like to use the teachings of the Codex as a primary guide to fighting the enemies of the Imperium. The chapter’s reason for their dislike of the Codex is unclear, but has been rumoured to be due to having bad experiences when dealing with true Codex chapters such as the Furious Hawks and the Red Devils. Why? The Codex is the manual that all Space Marines start from, including yours. Why would they change from their own guide, because some other people are bad with it? Doesn't make sense. The Knights Griffon have a dislike of the space marine bike and the jump pack, seeing them as unwieldy and excessively noisy objects, especially when their combat style is directed more to stealth and subterfuge. Vehicles such as Rhinos, Predators, Thunderhawks and Land Speeders have a large place in the chapter, being extremely precise and surgical implement s when in larger engagements, such as to insert recce teams into strategic locations or to provide distractions to allow the rest of their forces to sneak into enemy lines and wreak havoc. The chapter also is highly against the killing of civilians and non-combatants, and will actively attempt to remove them from a warzone before moving in to engage. All vehicles are loud and unwieldy. If you dislike the bikes and jump packs, you should also dislike Rhinos, Preds, T-Hawks, and Speeders; none of which are the least bit stealthy, save perhaps the Speeder variants. The neophytes of the chapter are taught that their boltgun is their secondary weapon, with their combat knife being their primary. The marines are taught stealth and infiltrations techniques strictly, and in exercises are punished severely for allowing themselves to be detected. They are also taught in camouflage, a trait not seen in many marine chapters. However, instead of using camouflage patterns painted onto the armour, the chapter colours are always on display, but with a specialised ‘camoline paint’ (pioneered by Techmarine Derin Firenze of the chapter in M37) applied over the blue and white scheme, dulling the colours and blending to the lighting levels and colours as they move, making them harder to spot. This is pretty silly. Abandoning the bolter to a secondary role? Camo paint that isn't really Camo? Stealth is great and all, but practicality dictates that the Bolter should still be #1, just because you will be fighting with the bolter far more than the knife. Not to mention that stealth isn't always viable, especially in defensive actions, and in large pitched battles. The chapter was originally organised like a codex chapter with ten companies. However, over time, with mounting losses, the number of companies decreased to only several. A radical change implemented by Chapter Master Irion Lionheart banded all of the companies along with the scout company into one large pool of resources. Captains would be able to decide on units to take along on as their taskforce for the campaign. Occasionally this does lead to disputes over resources between captains, yet the chapter master will always have the last say and allocate the units accordingly on need. Why didn't they just replace their losses? Originally descended from the Raptors chapter directly, and therefore the geneseed of Corax, the Knights Griffon have inherited the quirks and flaws of the Raven Guard and their successors. The Griffons have a pale complexion and sharp eyes. Their hair is also very dark, although the occasional few have white hair. Many marines combat this by shaving their heads regularly. What about the flaws? How do the problems of Corax's tampering affect them? Not bad. Good take on independent stealthy marines. Nice work on them. Looking forward to seeing more on these guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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