WingsOfTheFalcon Posted January 10, 2011 Share Posted January 10, 2011 IA: Pridelords My entry for the Iron Gauntlet 2011, a new Chapter from scratch. Would love to hear any feedback you have on this IA. Origins The Pridelords were formed during the 22nd Founding in M37 following the Age of Apostasy, they were tasked with joining the Redemption Crusades to reclaim the lost sectors of the Imperium and purge the stain of chaos from their systems. Chapter Master Asur Leandros adopted the symbol of the Lion for the Pridelords in reverence of the Dark Angel's Primarch Lion El'Johnson and also the mighty Calibanite Lions. Homeworld: The Pridelords choose not to maintain a homeworld in honour of the loss of their spiritual home on Caliban. Instead the Chapter is fleet based operating mainly from their command centre on the battle barge 'Hope of Antilles'. From this mobile platform they co-ordinate their crusades and enlist troops from a network of systems near the Eastern Fringe.They primarily recruit from a cluster of three systems, all of which yield strong recruits but they have a number of marked cultural differences. The largest yield of initiates comes from the Tarxis Ultima, which was once a populous Hive world which fell into disrepair after an incursion by Orks. The now limited population is constantly engaged in a battle for survival, pitted against the remnants of the Orks, violent gangers and their own bretheren. This environment produces a high yield of initiates of the standard required by the Adeptus Astartes.The secondary recruiting planets are Anhur Primus and Tao XI, Anhur is...As well as 'Hope of Antilles' the Pridelords fleet includes eight Strike Cruisers and twenty Rapid Strike Vessels as well as hundreds of service vessels drafted to maintain the fleet. Beliefs: Their involvment in the Redemption Crusades led the Pridelords to become a very devout and pious chapter, because of this they have very close ties to the Ecclesiarchy and have frequently been requisitioned to assist the Ordos Hereticus. Such is their dedication, fervour and zeal that the Pridelords have gathered a fearsome reputation amongst allies and foes alike.Their depth of fervour is rumoured to be a result of their deeply ingrained desire for penance and absolution from the sins of their lost brothers at the time of the Horus Heresy. Their merciless, relentless and exhaustive approach to purging the taints of Chaos are highly effective, however the large amount of colateral and often human damage means that their name is widely feared, even amongst those they are sworn to defend.The Pridelords have a difficult relationship with their progenitor, the shame of the Dark Angel's fall is deeply engrained in their collective psyche and they cannot easily maintain concord with the sons of the Lion. Whilst the issue has never led to blows, there is resentment and an undercurrent of disdain in all of the Pridelords dealing with the Dark Angels.Throughout the Redemption Crusades the Pridelords operated at the behest of the Ecclesiarchy, seeing first hand the great strength the Ecclesiarchy draw from their faith, this seemed a sharp contrast to the weakness they saw in the Dark Angels. This inspired Asur Leandros and the Pridelords to great feats of strength, so empowered were the Pridelords that they felt that surely they were blessed by the Emperor's divine light.The revelation of the Pridelords new found faith and their close ties to the Inquisition have also caused friction between the Chapters. Whilst the Pridelords are one of the Unforgiven and are dedicated to the task of seeking and destroying the Fallen their ongoing shared animosity means they rarely do so in partnership with the brother marines of the Dark Angels. Combat Doctrine: In combat the Pridelords have a predisposition for the use of Flamer and Melta weapons, this may be due to their close relationship to the Ordo Hereticus, it may also be accounted for by their need to spiritually cleanse the taint of chaos through holy prometheum. Either way their preference for these weapons is well documented and many is the heretic who have felt their fire.Due to the limited range of these weapons the Pridelords prefer to rend the enemys of the Emperor close up than to strike them down from afar and are also reknowned for their ferocity in close combat. They are however well versed in the tactica of the Codex Astartes and are conditioned to adapt to the tactical requirements of any combat. Organisation: The Pridelords organisationally follow the Codex Astartes, the Chapter is divided into ten companies numbering one hundred brother marines. In reverence to their Dark Angel lineage however the first and second companies are organised in a similar manner to the Deathwing and Ravenwing.The first company consists entirely of Veteran warriors and all of the chapter's Tactical Dreadnought armour whilst the second company is specifically trained in the use of bikes and land speeders, these companies are known as the Crusaders (1st) and the Nomads (2nd). Upon induction into one of these veteran companies, a brother marine is told of the ancient secret schism within the Dark Angels and is pledged to join the perpetual crusade to destroy or capture the Fallen Angels.Within the remaining battle companies, the brother marines are divided into ten 'Prides', after successful completion of their initiate training the Prides are formed and then fully augmented for Power armour duty. Once a Pride is formed they are bound in brotherhood and form a closely knit unit, such is the bond between a Pride that when a marine is lost they will only recruit new initiates into their Pride, never from an existing Pride. Geneseed: The geneseed of the Pridelords is from the lineage of the Dark Angels chapter, taken from the genebanks of the Angels of Redemption. Battlecry: Commander: For the Pride! All: For the Lion! Colour Scheme: (Gold & DA Green) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 There is not enough to comment, yet. Only: Â Organisation The Pridelords follow the teachings of the Codex Astartes, the only structural divergence is that one of the reserve companies is always dedicated to crusading and the pursuit of Luther or any knowledge that may lead to his capture. Â I think, you are mistaking the Luther for Cypher, the Fallen Angel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingsOfTheFalcon Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 I think, you are mistaking the Luther for Cypher, the Fallen Angel. Absolutely correct, been a while since I read Descent of Angels, so my Dark Angels fluff is residing largely in the grey matter atm! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingsOfTheFalcon Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 Thread was broken but now working again. Â Edit 1.1 working on Beliefs section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Organisation: The Pridelords follow the teachings of the Codex Astartes, the Chapter is divided into ten companies numbering one hundred brother marines. Their only structural divergence is that one of the reserve companies is chosen to crusade and pursue Cypher or any knowledge that may lead to his capture. The company on crusade duty is rotated periodically to ensure that they never grow weary of their investigations. Â - Why? If they are of the Dark Angels then at least some within the Chapter know of the Fallen, so where are the Deathwing and the Ravenwing Companies, or at least the like? Â Beliefs: The Pridelords are a very devout and pious chapter, they have very close ties to the eccliesiarchy and have on several occasions been sanctioned to assist the Ordos Hereticus. Such is their fervour and zeal that the Pridelords have gathered a fearsome reputation. Their merciless, relentless and exhaustive approach to purging the taints of Chaos means that their name is widely feared, even amongst those they are sworn to defend. Â - All Astartes have a fearsome reputation, even amongst those they are sword to protect; hard to now fear someone two or three feet taller than you and a hell of a lot heavier. Â The Pridelords believe it is their manifest and holy destiny to recover the lost Lion Sword and bring and end to the crusade of penance undertaken by all successors to the Dark Angels. As such a percentage of their manpower is always dedicated to pursuing any hint or reference of the Fallen Angels. Â - Why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingsOfTheFalcon Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 Organisation: The Pridelords follow the teachings of the Codex Astartes... Â - Why? If they are of the Dark Angels then at least some within the Chapter know of the Fallen, so where are the Deathwing and the Ravenwing Companies, or at least the like? Â As the DA are the first legion I think they have more scope to adapt the codex and also the historical precedent for the Raven/Deathwing. The Pridelords are a (relatively) new chapter, hence the adherence to the codex. Â Beliefs: The Pridelords are a very devout and pious chapter... Â - All Astartes have a fearsome reputation, even amongst those they are sword to protect; hard to now fear someone two or three feet taller than you and a hell of a lot heavier. Â I'll try to reword this section, I'm aiming for them to come across as very similar to Puritan Ordo Hereticus Inquisitors, so they tend to burn first and ask questions later, hence the fear! Â The Pridelords believe it is their manifest and holy destiny... Â - Why? Â Good question, I'll have to think a bit more about it. Perhaps one of the Senior Librarians could have a vision of returning the Lion Sword? Â Thanks very much for the feedback, I'll try to implement the changes asap! :pinch: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Organisation: The Pridelords follow the teachings of the Codex Astartes...  - Why? If they are of the Dark Angels then at least some within the Chapter know of the Fallen, so where are the Deathwing and the Ravenwing Companies, or at least the like?  As the DA are the first legion I think they have more scope to adapt the codex and also the historical precedent for the Raven/Deathwing. The Pridelords are a (relatively) new chapter, hence the adherence to the codex.  They are the First Legion, would your Chapter not respect tradition by following their footsteps? Remember, your Chapter began with members from a Dark Angels Successor, something will filter through.  Beliefs: The Pridelords are a very devout and pious chapter...  - All Astartes have a fearsome reputation, even amongst those they are sworn to protect; hard to now fear someone two or three feet taller than you and a hell of a lot heavier.  I'll try to reword this section, I'm aiming for them to come across as very similar to Puritan Ordo Hereticus Inquisitors, so they tend to burn first and ask questions later, hence the fear!  That tends to make more sense, but it doesn't convey that at all - at least not to me.  The Pridelords believe it is their manifest and holy destiny... - Why?  Good question, I'll have to think a bit more about it. Perhaps one of the Senior Librarians could have a vision of returning the Lion Sword?  The Why? is all.  You could perhaps go along the avenue of "crusade" Companies, in that the First hunts the Fallen and the Second hunts for the Sword of the Lion... Obviously that still misses out the why but might help you around the earlier point about the Deathwing and Ravenwing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingsOfTheFalcon Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 Having just read this Wiki on the Deathwing, I know understand better why I need to adhere more closely to the Dark Angels structure. Much work to do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingsOfTheFalcon Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 Random tinkering in most sections, starting to really dislike my colour scheme and badge though. Wanted to encapsulate the Lion visual as well as use Dark Angels Green. Any suggestions much appreciated. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reyner Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I like the badge but agree on the colour scheme how about something like this: It probably looks horrendous but I thought gold fits lions more than yellow and you said you wanted more Dark Angels Green. Maybe my example could use a bit more gold but I wasn't sure where. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 The Pridelords are a very devout and pious chapter, they have very close ties to the eccliesiarchy and have on several occasions been sanctioned to assist the Ordos Hereticus. Such is their inquisitive fervour and zeal that the Pridelords have gathered a fearsome reputation. Their merciless, relentless and exhaustive approach to purging the taints of Chaos will usually lead them to success, however the large amount of colateral and often human damage means that their name is widely feared, even amongst those they are sworn to defend.  Pious in what way? Do they praise the Emperor as a god, or just as a really great dude like most chapters?  This a great place to tell us what makes your chapter get out of bed in the morning and go purging the heretic/alien/people who look at them funny.  Having inquisitive fervour makes them sound like they walk up and scream questions at you. :D I think I know what effect you're going for, they leave no stone unturned in their searching for the Fallen or heretics. Perhaps just 'Dedication, fervour and zeal' would cover it better, though. :ph34r:  Not a bad start. :D As a fellow Iron Gauntlet competitor I'll try to keep an eye on this chapter and help via idea massacre critiquing when I get chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingsOfTheFalcon Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 I like the badge but agree on the colour scheme how about something like this:It probably looks horrendous but I thought gold fits lions more than yellow and you said you wanted more Dark Angels Green. Maybe my example could use a bit more gold but I wasn't sure where. Thanks for the suggest, I like the scheme and especially the idea of using gold, though I might modify it a bit to include less of the DA green, if only to make like easier for me if I paint one up! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingsOfTheFalcon Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 Pious in what way? Do they praise the Emperor as a god, or just as a really great dude like most chapters? I want them to see the Emperor as a diety, much like pre-heresy Word Bearers. Full on, 'follow the gourd' type reverence. ;) Â 'Dedication, fervour and zeal' would cover it better, though. Nice, much more concise! Â Thanks so much for the massacre input, it's much appreciated! :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingsOfTheFalcon Posted January 14, 2011 Author Share Posted January 14, 2011 New colour scheme added, hybrid rip off of Reyner's suggestion and the Storm Wardens scheme. Â Metallics don't work brilliantly on Painter, but it's meant to be Shining Gold and Dark Angels Green. Â Thoughts? Â Also, came across this and thought it might make a better Chapter Badge? (Need to change the colours!) Â http://thumb7.webshots.net/t/60/660/7/79/34/2499779340102811607pNxLNi_th.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingsOfTheFalcon Posted January 17, 2011 Author Share Posted January 17, 2011 Just been playing around with a quartered paint scheme, think this might be the future! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingsOfTheFalcon Posted January 17, 2011 Author Share Posted January 17, 2011 Fancied producing one model for this finished IA, as incentive to make sure I get it done.  Soon to be Chapter Master Leandros:  http://kofler.dot.at/40k/units/Daemon_Hunter_Inquisitor_Lord_Coteaz.jpg  Figured the 'Mane' in particular makes this mini ideal for this chapter.  :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingsOfTheFalcon Posted January 18, 2011 Author Share Posted January 18, 2011 1.2 - Done some work to update the beliefs and colour scheme, feedback sought and appreciated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 potentially an excuse to buy the Lugft Huron mini from Forgeworld!  - No such excuse is needed, young Padawan.  they were founded to join the Redemption Crusades..  - Were they? Is that a kosher reason or something you created?  The Pridelords choose not to maintain a homeworld in honour of the loss of their spiritual home on Caliban. Instead the Chapter is fleet based operating mainly from the command centre of the battle barge 'Hope of Antilles'..  - Spiritual home? I don't think that makes much sense, given such distance in time of the two Chatpers. Also, if the Captain of that vessel is called "Wedge" I'll baste you in butter and serve you to a starving Catachan Devil.  The Pridelords prefer to rend the enemys of the Emperor close up than to strike them down from afar and are reknowned for their ferocity in combat. They are however well versed in the tactica of the Codex Astartes and are conditioned to contain their fervour when necessary. In combat the Pridelords have a predisposition for the use of Flamer and Melta weapons, this may be due to their close relationship to the Ordo Hereticus, it may also be accounted for by their need to spiritually cleanse the taint of chaos through holy prometheum. Either way their preference for these weapons is well documented and many is the heretic who have felt their touch.  To the first part: Why?  To the second part: The Ordo Hereticus link comes out of left field, even if you mention the Redemptionists.  The Pridelords organisationally follow the Codex Astartes, the Chapter is divided into ten companies numbering one hundred brother marines. In reverence to their Dark Angel lineage however the first and second companies are organised outside of the structure laid down by the Codex Astartes.  - So many mentions of the damn Codex!  The Pridelords are a very devout and pious chapter...  - Why? You never explain why.  The geneseed of the Pridelords is drawn directly from the stock of the Dark Angels chapter.  - Givn the Founding, I'd say you should at least pick a Successor to draw from or make them an earlier Founding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingsOfTheFalcon Posted January 19, 2011 Author Share Posted January 19, 2011 potentially an excuse to buy the Lugft Huron mini from Forgeworld! - No such excuse is needed, young Padawan.Noted. :) they were founded to join the Redemption Crusades..- Were they? Is that a kosher reason or something you created?I read up on the Age of Redemption here.. M37 seemed like a good time fit for a zealous Chapter to be formed. The Pridelords choose not to maintain a homeworld in honour of the loss of their spiritual home on Caliban. Instead the Chapter is fleet based operating mainly from the command centre of the battle barge 'Hope of Antilles'..- Spiritual home? I don't think that makes much sense, given such distance in time of the two Chatpers.Also, if the Captain of that vessel is called "Wedge" I'll baste you in butter and serve you to a starving Catachan Devil. I'm not sure I agree, I think Space Marines treasure their ritual and heritage so this would seem like a appropriate response for a successor chapter. The Pridelords prefer to rend the enemys of the Emperor close up than to strike them down from afar and are reknowned for their ferocity in combat. They are however well versed in the tactica of the Codex Astartes and are conditioned to contain their fervour when necessary. In combat the Pridelords have a predisposition for the use of Flamer and Melta weapons, this may be due to their close relationship to the Ordo Hereticus, it may also be accounted for by their need to spiritually cleanse the taint of chaos through holy prometheum. Either way their preference for these weapons is well documented and many is the heretic who have felt their touch. To the first part: Why?To the second part: The Ordo Hereticus link comes out of left field, even if you mention the Redemptionists. First part needs some further expansion, I'm trying to figure in the more 'leonine' elements of the chapter, but this does need looking into.Second part is a bit left field but only because the Combat Doctrine section comes before Beliefs. I could just swap them around?  The Pridelords organisationally follow the Codex Astartes, the Chapter is divided into ten companies numbering one hundred brother marines. In reverence to their Dark Angel lineage however the first and second companies are organised outside of the structure laid down by the Codex Astartes.- So many mentions of the damn Codex!Well it is THE codex, first edition, signed by the big G himself. The Pridelords are a very devout and pious chapter...- Why? You never explain why.Fair point, I will need to expand on the reasoning behind this. The geneseed of the Pridelords is drawn directly from the stock of the Dark Angels chapter.- Givn the Founding, I'd say you should at least pick a Successor to draw from or make them an earlier Founding.Are there no examples of First foundings creating successors this far down the timeline? Anyone? thanks very much for the input, it is really appreciated! :) Lots to work on now, so I'll get busy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 they were founded to join the Redemption Crusades..- Were they? Is that a kosher reason or something you created?I read up on the Age of Redemption here.. M37 seemed like a good time fit for a zealous Chapter to be formed. Â - My background knowledge is mainly in the arena of "I find that interesting and must know more!" Â The Pridelords choose not to maintain a homeworld in honour of the loss of their spiritual home on Caliban. Instead the Chapter is fleet based operating mainly from the command centre of the battle barge 'Hope of Antilles'..- Spiritual home? I don't think that makes much sense, given such distance in time of the two Chatpers.Also, if the Captain of that vessel is called "Wedge" I'll baste you in butter and serve you to a starving Catachan Devil. I'm not sure I agree, I think Space Marines treasure their ritual and heritage so this would seem like a appropriate response for a successor chapter. Â - I disagree, but every Chapter is different. Â Second part is a bit left field but only because the Combat Doctrine section comes before Beliefs. I could just swap them around? Â I tend to opt for: Origins, Homeworld, Beliefs, Organisation, Combat Doctrine, Geneseed, Battlecry. Â The Pridelords organisationally follow the Codex Astartes, the Chapter is divided into ten companies numbering one hundred brother marines. In reverence to their Dark Angel lineage however the first and second companies are organised outside of the structure laid down by the Codex Astartes.- So many mentions of the damn Codex!Well it is THE codex, first edition, signed by the big G himself. Â - Are you the Boys in Blue? Or the successors of teh very un-Codex like Dark Angels? Â The geneseed of the Pridelords is drawn directly from the stock of the Dark Angels chapter.- Givn the Founding, I'd say you should at least pick a Successor to draw from or make them an earlier Founding.Are there no examples of First foundings creating successors this far down the timeline? Anyone? Â - I see it more as "Hmm.. The Dark Angels and their descendants are all very secretive, maybe it's the geneseed?" and they don't allow it to be used, sort of in the way that you generally shouldn't find Blood Angels descendants in the later Foundings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingsOfTheFalcon Posted January 21, 2011 Author Share Posted January 21, 2011 Quite a few edits to belief, organisation, geneseed, colour scheme and homeworld. :) Â All crits and comments much appreciated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Dammit, does this mean I have to read it again? :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingsOfTheFalcon Posted January 21, 2011 Author Share Posted January 21, 2011 Dammit, does this mean I have to read it again? :lol: Well you can put down some random critique on russian literature, but I reserve the right to disregard it. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Juan Juarez Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Dammit, does this mean I have to read it again? :D Well you can put down some random critique on russian literature, but I reserve the right to disregard it. ;) Â That would not only require a working knowledge of Russian, but also one hell of a force of will.. Both of which I lack. Â Providing you can wait 'til I get home, I'll have a butchers.. Literally, I imagine :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ishida Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Very nice, especially with the latest revisions. One thing though, the names of the Nomads (1st Company, Deathwing analog) and the Crusaders (2nd Company, Ravenwing Analog) seem backwards. When I hear "Nomads" I picture a fast-moving, rapid force... i.e, guys on Bikes and Land Speeders. When I hear "Crusaders," I picture devout knights in heavy armor taking the fight right to the foe... i.e, Terminators. Â The quartered paint scheme rocks, if you can paint it. Successfully pulling off such a paint scheme out to be worth extra Victory Points in all games you play! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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