Master Exorcist Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Dragon Claws The kindred lords of pyreOrigins: The Dragon Claws, part of the 4th founding of the adeptus astartes, are a chapter renowned throughout the imperium of man for their superhuman endurance and determination to exterminate the enemies of the imperium and the Great Drake, their honorific for the primarch Vulkan. These warrior-smiths of pyre have achieved a great number of victories in the emperor’s name, including the siege of Teryan IX and the purging of the Almageist conclave. There are few who can claim to be greater protectors of the imperium.Unlike most Astartes chapters, who can trace their lineage to Guilliman and the XIII legion, the Dragon Claws hail from the Salamanders gene-seed. This is an unusual source of gene-seed for there are notable mutations, such as deep red eyes and charcoal-black skin. Although there are physical mutations in body, in mind they are the epitome of self-reliance, self-sacrifice and loyalty.From the ancient forge-ship Pillar of Fire, the Dragon Claws seek out the alien, the heretic, and the daemon, bringing with them a fiery retribution in the memory of Hephaistos, Vulkan and the Emperor.Homeworld: The legacy of the Dragon Claws is not without tragedy. The chapter had once called another world home, Aetheum. A cold, unforgiving death world, The Dragon Claws took their name from the great sea wyrms that inhabited the planet’s vast oceans. However, in late M37 the chapter master Hephaistos returned from a lengthy campaign bearing the blade of eternal flame, an ancient relic crafted by the Great Drake himself that forever smouldered with the fires from when it was wrought. Current Imperial records are unclear as to what happened next. The chapter severed contact with the Imperium for several decades. It is known that a number of suspicious deaths occurred on Aetheum, along with increasing signs of warp activity in the surrounding system. It is unsure what led the chapter to pursue this course of action. Some historians have speculated that the Blade of Eternal Flame was somehow tainted, others that there was some form of Chaotic corruption amongst the chapter's recruits. None of these rumours are proven, but all agree that Aetheum was torn apart as the result of these 'disturbances'. In M38, unidentified astartes are recorded coming to the rescue of the beleaguered Kantus system. In their possession was the Pillar of Fire. Thus, the Dragon Claws re-entered the annals of the Imperium, proceeding to crusade as a fleet-based chapter, seeking out the enemies of the emperor and putting an end to them. The ordo hereticus, fearing what might have become of the chapter since the mysterious destruction of their homeworld, sought out the Dragon Claws in this time, however the breakout of mass rebellion in the Illyrican crown demanded the full attention of the hereticus and the astartes in the region. At the culmination of this conflict, the chapter was lauded for its heroism and faith, and there have been no major investigations since.PyreTwo millennia after the loss of aetheum, the Chapter came across the world of Pyre. A Verdant death world wrought with unstable volcanoes, the Dragon Claws saw a reflection of Aetheum’s cataclysmic last days within the constant cycle of destruction on Pyre.The people of pyre live as wandering hunter-gatherers, hunting the great predators one season and fighting the world itself the next. Its people revere the drake creatures that seem to thrive in the season of destruction. It is because of these echoes of a world they thought they had lost, that they chose to remain on pyre.Organisation The Organisation of the Dragon Claws differs vastly from codex doctrine. After the events on Aetheum, Hephaistos, now entombed within his adamantium sarcophagus, appointed two predecessors: the firebrand Valthen of the 3rd, and the cold-hearted Gracchus of the 1st. This, as Hephaistos explained, was to ensure no one being held complete control of the chapter. Thus, the Draecenii and Cerebian kindred clans were formed from the chapter. Virtually autonomous, it is only the current Regent or Chaplain Council that they must answer to. The leaders of both kindreds take shares in the role of chapter master. In accordance with tradition, none serve more than 2 centuries. However, the position of regent is only required in times of extreme crisis when the council cannot be assembled in time. Those who hold this position generally leave most matters to the Chaplain council, as there has rarely been a need for the regent to exercise his emergency power.Although this would lead some to believe there is a major schism within the chapter, they still revere Hephaistos, who is technically still the Chapter Master, and the current council of chaplains, who act as the spiritual voice of the Chapter. Though it may lack a clear chain of command, it is this spirit of union and a reverence of ancient tradition that has so far kept the chapter together.A veteran warrior who displays significant reverence for the chapter’s holy rites, above and beyond what is expected from them will be singled out to join the esteemed ranks of the dragon guard, keepers of the teachings of vulkan and Hephaistos. The Dragon guard form the honour guard to the incumbent chapter master, to advise him in times of war, and to ensure the continuity of the writ of Hephaistos. Those who further prove themselves may be seconded to the command of a kindred company, or advance to the venerable rank of Chaplain-Consul, however, the decision is made unanimously by the other council members. Only those who emulate the lessons of the promethean cult, and who are willing to put aside all bonds of brotherhood in their parent kindred, are considered for such a vital position to maintain the internal status quo within the chapter.Battlefield Doctrine Although they revere the codex as a great document on warfare, The Dragon Claw’s unique organisation leads to differing ideas on the battlefield, the Draecenii clan prefer close assaults, where they can bring the flame of vulkan to their enemies. The Cerebians, ever the staunch protectors, prefer to fight wars of defence, where the foe is smashed upon their unbreakable shield. These two kindred clan’s specialities can prove a great boon in the times of unison, however on several occasions the difference of opinion has even led to fatalities. As would be expected of descendants of Vulkan, the chapter armoury houses a great number of tactical dreadnought armour, and weapons of the finest craft. In battle, the chapters utilise this to their advantage in the form of a massed counterattack, or a pre-emptive strike into the heart of the enemy.Beliefs To the Dragon Claws, nothing is more important than the shared tradition and lineage that binds the kindred clans together. They revere the Emperor, the Great Drake Vulkan, and Hephaistos as examples to follow and believe that one day all three will return to herald a new era of illumination for mankind.Hephaistos is seen as the great prophet that oversaw the tumultuous times on Aethem. Without his guidance, the Dragon Claws believe that they would have ceased to be a chapter long ago.The level of esteem in which the Dragon Claws hold their weapons and armour is also notable. It is not uncommon for a kinsman to memorise the inheritance of certain pieces of wargear, right back to when it was forged. All astartes make small additions to their own wargear, adding their own brand as symbol of ownership. Due to this, it is a quirk of the chapter to see marines in an amalgamation of marks of power armour, much of it many millennia old.In rare instances where a minor dispute has emerged between the two kindreds, where one feels their honour slighted, they may challenge the other to a form of ritualised combat. Both kindreds elect a champion where they must meet in ritual combat with no armour, and only blacksmithing tools in their hands. As per tradition, the champions duel, but must first forge their own weapons. There is little room for compassion when it comes to the honour of the kindred, and all ritual combat is to the death.Gene-seed The Dragon Claws take great pride in their lingeage from Vulkan. However, their gene-seed does not possess the same levels of instability found in the Salamanders, most notably the charcoal skin and glowing red eyes, as there are not major levels of radiation on Pyre. However, it is not uncommon to see deeply tanned astartes with bloodshot eyes, these however are seen as a sign of potential and are essentially a battle-honour for having fought in the most inhospitable and instable warzones.The Dragon claws treat their gene-seed in a much more reverent manner than most chapters. Recruits choose a new name, from the list of brothers before him who bore the same gene seed. Thus, warriors are seen as a reincarnation of past heroes, and fight valiantly to live up to their names.Battle-Cry: “The Dragon lies awakened!”Theres some coding i need to do with headings and such, but its pretty much everything, bar a couple of example quotations/battles. What do you guys think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Exorcist Posted August 13, 2011 Author Share Posted August 13, 2011 Colour scheme: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkCrusader Posted August 13, 2011 Share Posted August 13, 2011 Well..i skimmed that IA and...awesome.you have some interesting fluff and a cool colour scheme..nice work ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Exorcist Posted August 13, 2011 Author Share Posted August 13, 2011 Cheers mate, glad you like it! i have added headings to break up the WoT so it should be easier on the eyes now. any C+C from the Liber? ME Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Exorcist Posted August 19, 2011 Author Share Posted August 19, 2011 along with a small, selfish bump, is there anything you liked/disliked or think that something needs to be improved? thanks, ME Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octavulg Posted August 19, 2011 Share Posted August 19, 2011 Unlike most Astartes chapters, who can trace their lineage to Guilliman and the XIII legion, the Dragon Claws hail from the Salamanders gene-seed. This is an unusual source of gene-seed for there are notable mutations, such as deep red eyes and charcoal-black skin. Although there are physical mutations in body, in mind they are the epitome of self-reliance, self-sacrifice and loyalty. Since the whole blackness and red eyes thing came out of nowhere (I mean, look at older Salamanders miniatures), you don't need to hang onto it if you don't want to. Especially since it may be an interaction with Nocturne that causes it. You were a little too enthusiastic in the first paragraph, IMO. Your guys are good, but they came across as top ten. However, in late M37 the chapter master Hephaistos returned from a lengthy campaign bearing the blade of eternal flame, an ancient relic crafted by the Great Drake himself that forever smouldered with the fires from when it was wrought. I assume that's distinct from the various artifacts the Salamanders go hunting for? Current Imperial records are then scarce in details as to what happened next. This lack of details is due to the chapter severing contact from the imperium for several decades. It is apparent that a number of suspicious deaths occurred on Aetheum, along with increasing signs of warp activity in the surrounding system. It is unsure what led the chapter to cut themselves off from the imperium, several have speculated some form of chaos worship within the chapters recruits, others speculate that the blade of eternal flame was somehow tainted, although none of these rumours are proven, all agree that Aetheum was torn apart as the result of these “disturbances” The writing in this paragraph's a little weak, and a lot repetitive. Maybe something more like: Current Imperial records are unclear as to what happened next. The chapter severed contact with the Imperium for several decades. It is known that a number of suspicious deaths occurred on Aetheum, along with increasing signs of warp activity in the surrounding system. It is unsure what led the chapter to pursue this course of action. Some historians have speculated that the Blade of Eternal Flame was somehow tainted, others that there was some form of Chaotic corruption amongst the chapter's recruits. None of these rumours are proven, but all agree that Aetheum was torn apart as the result of these 'disturbances'. Two millennia after the loss of aetheum, the Chapter came across the world of Pyre. A Verdant death world wrought with unstable volcanoes, the Dragon Claws saw a reflection of Aetheum’s cataclysmic last days within the constant cycle of destruction on Pyre. And perhaps a bit of Nocturne, as well? The Organisation of the Dragon Claws differs vastly from codex doctrine. After the events on Aetheum, Hephaistos, now entombed within his adamantium sarcophagus, appointed two predecessors: the firebrand Valthen of the 3rd, and the cold-hearted Gracchus of the 1st. This, as Hephaistos explained, was to ensure no one being held complete control of the chapter. Thus, the Draecenii and Cerebian kindred clans were formed from the chapter. Virtually autonomous, it is only the current Regent or Chaplain Council that they must answer to. The leaders of both kindreds take shares in the role of chapter master. In accordance with tradition, none serve more than 2 centuries. However, the position of regent is only required in times of extreme crisis when the council cannot be assembled in time. Those who hold this position generally leave most matters to the Chaplain council, as there has rarely been a need for the regent to exercise his emergency power. Successors, not predecessors. And this kinda makes Hephaistos seem like a control-freak. A dickish one. Why would Hephaistos continue to be Chapter Master, anyway? Theres some coding i need to do with headings and such, but its pretty much everything, bar a couple of example quotations/battles. What do you guys think? It's a pretty good IA. A lot of the beliefs seem to come out of nowhere - a bit more of a lead-up to them and further explanation of where they come from would be good. There's an interesting history and an interesting belief structure, but the connections between them seem tenuous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Exorcist Posted September 15, 2011 Author Share Posted September 15, 2011 sorry for the late reply, i've been busy with exams. Im gonna start adjusting it very soon, thanks heaps for the suggestions. Is there anything else that the liber thinks is needed before i get started on the next (and hopefully last) draft? ME Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Exorcist Posted September 19, 2011 Author Share Posted September 19, 2011 no? nothing of major concern? thats a good sign hopefully, im considering having entombment within a dreadnought as a sort of punishment, venerables being those who choose such a fate, what do you guys think? good idea or no? ME Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 no? nothing of major concern? thats a good sign hopefully. Well, basically this: It's a pretty good IA. A lot of the beliefs seem to come out of nowhere - a bit more of a lead-up to them and further explanation of where they come from would be good. There's an interesting history and an interesting belief structure, but the connections between them seem tenuous. The thing is, a lot of things has either loose end or loose beginning. For example: - The death of Aetheum fades out into emptiness. - The origins of two kindreds are questionable at best. Cheers, NightrawenII. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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