Brother Godfried (Final Part up)

[BassWave]

I often have battle scenes pop into my head, this is my first effort to get them out into words. There might be more to come as I get better at forming my stories into text. I really want to capture the Iron Hands' character in these stories so suggestions are welcome. Well here goes.

*Full Story Edit*
____________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Demolisher shell crashed through the rhino’s pilot compartment, the subsequent explosion rending the vehicle open, scattering its occupants throughout the battlefield. Godfried landed on his back with a force that would have shattered a mortal’s bones, but he was no mortal.

Warning runes blared before his eyes-

<< HEAVY DAMAGE: POWER PACK>>
<<HEAVY DAMAGE: PRIMARY POWER CONDUITS, REROUTING POWER>>
<<MULTIPLE COMPROMISED AREAS
BREASTPLATE: COMPROMISED
RIGHT REREBRACE: COMPROMISED
RIGHT GREAVE: COMPROMISED>>
<<REPAIR REQUIRED IMMEDIA-

Godfried blink clicked the runes away rebuking his suit’s machine spirit as he tried to get up. Only the weak protest over wounds. The suit reluctantly obliged, power already rerouting through secondary feeds. Just as he got up there was a roar. The possessed vindicator that had destroyed his transport was enraged at seeing that its prey had survived. The daemonic monstrosity loaded another demolisher round. It would never even get the chance to aim its cursed weapon as a crimson beam bisected it in half, sending off a flare of sparks, leaving the vehicle a smoking ruin.

Godfried smiled with relish as the insult to the Omnissiah was purged to a useless heap. These heretics were certainly vile to allow a daemon to taint a machine. This cursed world will pay for their heresies. The Iron Hand crouched behind some cover and scanned for his brothers’ life signs. Seven dead. Three wounded. One by one Godfried gathered his brothers against the smoking crater of their once proud transport, including the dead, their geneseed were just as important as a living battle brother. He didn’t waste time searching for their transport's pilot.
Checking his suits systems he found his vox unit was damaged beyond repair. Taking off his helmet, he removed the damaged unit uttering the litany of removal. Searching among his fallen brothers he found a working vox unit. Uttering more prayers to the machine god, he wired his helmet with the new vox transponder.

“This is Brother Godfried of Tactical Squad Talinacus to any available apothecaries, I have three marines in need of immediate medicae treatment and seven others that need their final rites administered. Please respond.”

There was only static for three heart beats.

"This is Apothecary Chroma, I read you. I am enroute, estimated arrival time: 7 minutes."

Godfried took a moment to assess his surroundings. The sky was marred by storms as a result of the mass warp activity. Plasma explosions, flame streaks and gunfire raged on in the distance.

There was a hacking cough, followed by a series of gags. Godfried turned to look as one of his surviving squadmates took off his helmet and spat. It was Brother Paladnus. His wounds were extensive; he was missing his entire lower half of his body, the rest of his armor riddled with holes, his lower jaw covered in fresh blood. Something must have been seriously wrong in his internals for him to keep bleeding. His Larraman's Organ should have stopped the bleeding by now.

Paladnus tried to laugh.

"I think the Omnissiah is trying to tell me something"

Out of the entire squad, Paladnus had the least bionics, content with just having his two mechanical hands.

"Yes brother, it was about time you were blessed with further augmentation."

Paladnus let out another laugh, this time Godfried joined in with a dry chuckle. Their banter was cut short when Paladnus's head exploded.

Godfried turned to meet the threat only for a heavy bolter round to impact his helmet, shattering it to pieces, and crushing the left side of his face. Although his sight and hearing was temporarily impaired, he could still feel the bolter rounds colliding against his armor. Another heavy bolter round crashed against his chest plate, sending pieces of ceramite plating flying in all directions. He felt himself shoved against the remaining hull of the wrecked rhino as more bolter rounds rained around him. The final heavy bolter round tore into his right arm. There was no armor to protect him this time as the round went through a wound in the suits plating. Godfried clenched his teeth, feeling his arm being rended from his body. He slumped to his knees as the weapons fire ceased.

Godfried opened his right eye, his left lost in the meaty pulp that was once the left side of his face. Six traitor marines. One had a reductor. He glanced to his right. They had finished off the remaining wounded.

"Make sure to remove their geneseed, Lord Xalan wants to expand our forces."

Godfried felt a deep, burning rage when he heard this. His left arm whirred and clicked as he clenched his fist. He closed his eye and accessed the augmented parts of his brain, checking the status of his bionic arm and potentia coil.

<<BIONIC ARM: SYSTEMS OPTIMAL
POWER FIELD OPERATIONAL>>

<<POTENTIA COIL: SYSTEMS OPTIMAL
POWER AT 60%>>

Godfried reached behind him, and grabbed his remaining frag grenades.

"Look! That one still moves!"

"It appears these particular loyalists are as resilient as the stories say."

"Indeed, he'll make a perfect daemonhost"

The Iron Hand snarled when he heard this, resisting the urge to attack, waiting for the heretics to come closer.

The servants of Chaos could only roar in surprised outrage as 2 grenades were hurled in their midst. Before the shrapnel had even settled, Godfried had lunged at the heavy bolter wielding heretic. Energy surged from his potentia coil, sending streaks of lighting around his tensed arm. Punching through the treacherous wretch, ignoring armor and flesh, Godfried found his target. The spine. He clutched the vertebrae just hard enough for the heretic's body to clench in excruciating pain. In his convulsions, he began to fire his weapon. Seizing the opportunity, Godfried lifted up and aimed the tainted Astarte’s' frenzied shots into his comrades, killing two more marines. Godfried quickly finished off the dying wretch in his hand with a sickening snap, and moved on to his next target.

The reductor wielding marine hardly had a chance to react as the black clad loyalist tackled him to the ground. Attempting to defend himself, the chaos marine lashed out with his reductor, only to have his arm caught by a mechanical hand, and twisted off at the elbow. The last thing he saw was the loyalist's cold glare as he lowered the reductor through his eye.

Blood splattered over Godfried's already bloody face as he "extracted" the heretic's brain. The Iron Hand looked up in time to see a traitor marine a few feet away from him, raising his bolt pistol. With inhuman speed, Godfried hurled brain matter all over the traitor’s visor. The daemon worshipper tried wiping the gore away and was about to voice his disgust when he was interrupted by an impact to his abdomen. Doubling over in pain, he felt a hand at his neck, then the hiss of his helmet release. Godfried tore away the tainted helmet and proceeded to pound it against its owner's face. Then, turning the helmet horns down, the cyborg impaled the traitor down through his skull.

Just as Godfried finished off the oath breaker, he heard a booming laugh behind him.

“Your tenacity is admirable, loyalist. Khorne will favor me greatly when I take your sk-“

The champion stopped short when he saw his former comrade launched at him. The Champion effortlessly batted away the corpse, only for a grenade to immediately follow, bouncing off his visor, and detonating. Lying on his back, the Champion’s senses recovered just in time to feel is head crushed by an iron hand.

Only five minutes had elapsed by the time Apothecary Chroma's Thunderhawk reached squad Talinacus’s coordinates. The gunship swooped down low and hovered just above the cratered wreckage of a Rhino class transport. Chroma opened the gunship’s loading ramp and studied the carnage below. Nine battle brothers dead, as well as 6 chaos marines. Pilot nowhere to be found. Only one figure stood above the bloodbath. His stance triumphant, despite the grievous wounds to body and armor he had suffered. Chroma quickly dispatched the medical servitors to retrieve his brethren, there was work to be done.


<<ONE WEEK LATER>>


In the pale white light of the medicae ward, Godfried admired his new blessings. His left arm gleamed with a fresh coat of blood red paint, symbolizing his victory over the heretics threatening to defile his brothers despite his own wounds. Godfried of the Gore Hand, they called him. The names and honors were unnecessary; it was simply his duty to honor his brothers’ purity.

His right forearm clicked and hummed as he tested to see if the neural connectors were wired correctly. Satisfied, he inspected his face. The right side of the face was heavily scarred and pitted from multiple shrapnel wounds. The entire left side however, gleamed in polished chrome, his new bionic eye whirring in its socket as it collected information. Godfried tried to smile, but could only manage a sneer.

His sneer widened.

[Dosjetka]

I like this and am looking forward to more :D Nice atmosphere (I actually managed to visualise the whole thing in my head, awesome ;)).

 

Ludovic

[Darkchild130]

In response to your message. Fluff points, a Defiler does not have a demolisher cannon it has a battle cannon, which actually fits your story better as a demolisher shell would effectively vaporise the rhino. I also wouldn't describe it's shells as "artillary" as it give a false impression of it's purpose.

One other thing that jumps out at me, it's compromised, not comprimised, but I'm not the best speller myself so I wouldn't worry too much :)

 

Other than that, the story reads well! Look forward to more.

 

Darkchild

[BassWave]

Thanks for the responses guys ;) I changed the Defiler to a possessed vindicator, and fixed the spelling errors. It was weird, the entire time I was typing "comprimised" something did feel wrong about it, but apparently microsoft word was too busy telling me I misspelled Godfried and Medicae for it to notice, so I left it as is.

 

More to come tonight :D

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

Not bad, look forward to seeing more :P

[Gree]

Good work so far, although why do you put the verbal sentences slightly centered?

[BassWave]

Godfried took a moment to assess his surroundings. The sky was marred by storms as a result of the mass warp activity. Plasma explosions, flame streaks and gunfire raged on in the distance.

 

There was a hacking cough, followed by a series of gags. Godfried turned to look as one of his surviving squadmates took off his helmet and spat. It was Brother Paladnus. His wounds were extensive; he was missing his entire lower half of his body, the rest of his armor riddled with holes, his lower jaw covered in fresh blood. Something must have been seriously wrong in his internals for him to keep bleeding. His Larraman's Organ should have stopped the bleeding by now.

 

Paladnus tried to laugh.

 

"I think the Omnissiah is trying to tell me something"

 

Out of the entire squad, Paladnus had the least bionics, content with just having his two mechanical hands.

 

"Yes brother, it was about time you were blessed with further augmentation."

 

Paladnus let out another laugh, this time Godfried joined in with a dry chuckle. Their banter was cut short when Paladnus's head exploded.

 

Godfried turned to meet the threat only for a heavy bolter round to impact his helmet, shattering it to pieces, and crushing the left side of his face. Although his sight and hearing was temporarily impaired, he could still feel the bolter rounds colliding against his armor. Another heavy bolter round crashed against his chest plate, sending pieces of ceramite plating flying in all directions. He felt himself shoved against the remaining hull of the wrecked rhino as more bolter rounds rained around him. The final heavy bolter round tore into his right arm. There was no armor to protect him this time as the round went through a wound in the suits plating. Godfried clenched his teeth, feeling his arm being rended from his body. He slumped to his knees as the weapons fire ceased.

 

Godfried opened his right eye, his left lost in the meaty pulp that was once the left side of his face. Six traitor marines. One had a reductor. He glanced to his right. They had finished off the remaining wounded.

 

"Make sure to remove their geneseed, Lord Xalan wants to expand our forces."

 

Godfried felt a deep, burning rage when he heard this. His left arm whirred and clicked as he clenched his fist. He closed his eye and accessed the augmented parts of his brain, checking the status of his bionic arm and potentia coil.

 

<<BIONIC ARM: SYSTEMS OPTIMAL

POWER FIELD OPERATIONAL>>

 

<<POTENTIA COIL: SYSTEMS OPTIMAL

POWER AT 60%>>

 

Godfried reached behind him, and grabbed his remaining frag grenades.

 

"Look! That one still moves!"

 

"It appears these particular loyalists are as resilient as the stories say."

 

"Indeed, he'll make a perfect daemonhost"

 

The Iron Hand snarled when he heard this, resisting the urge to attack, waiting for the heretics to come closer.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________

 

That's it for today. More to come later.

 

@Gree- I was just experimenting with ways to make dialogue stand out.

[Ravenfeld]

I like it Bass, there are a few spelling errors and some grammar issues but on the whole the story is interesting. I think that, while the Iron Hands are definitely worshipers of the omnissiah I think they are still very much loyal to the emperor as well, so keep that in mind in your dialogue, throw some "emperor" action in there. Over all I like it though! Keep it up.

[BassWave]

The servants of Chaos could only roar in surprised outrage as 2 grenades were hurled in their midst. Before the shrapnel had even settled, Godfried had lunged at the heavy bolter wielding heretic. Energy surged from his potentia coil, sending streaks of lighting around his tensed arm. Punching through the treacherous wretch, ignoring armor and flesh, Godfried found his target. The spine. He clutched the vertebrae just hard enough for the heretic's body to clench in excruciating pain. In his convulsions, he began to fire his weapon. Seizing the opportunity, Godfried lifted up and aimed the tainted Astarte’s' frenzied shots into his comrades, killing two more marines. Godfried quickly finished off the dying wretch in his hand with a sickening snap, and moved on to his next target.

 

The reductor wielding marine hardly had a chance to react as the black clad loyalist tackled him to the ground. Attempting to defend himself, the chaos marine lashed out with his reductor, only to have his arm caught by a mechanical hand, and twisted off at the elbow. The last thing he saw was the loyalist's cold glare as he lowered the reductor through his eye.

 

Blood splattered over Godfried's already bloody face as he "extracted" the heretic's brain. The Iron Hand looked up in time to see a traitor marine a few feet away from him, raising his bolt pistol. With inhuman speed, Godfried hurled brain matter all over the traitor’s visor. The daemon worshipper, tried wiping the gore away and was about to voice his disgust when he was interrupted by an impact to his abdomen. Doubling over in pain, he felt a hand at his neck, then the hiss of his helmet release. Godfried tore away the tainted helmet and proceeded to pound it against its owner's face. Then, turning the helmet horns down, the cyborg impaled the traitor down through his skull.

 

Just as Godfried finished off the oath breaker, he heard a booming laugh behind him.

 

“Your tenacity is admirable, loyalist. Korhne will favor me greatly when I take your sk-“

 

The champion stopped short when he saw his former comrade launched at him. The Champion effortlessly batted away the corpse, only for a grenade to immediately follow, bouncing off his, and detonating. Lying on his back, the Champion’s senses recovered just in time to feel is head crushed by an iron hand.

 

Only five minutes had elapsed by the time they reached squad Talinacus’s coordinates. The Thunderhawk gunship swooped down low and hovered just above the cratered wreckage of a Rhino class transport. Chroma opened the gunship’s loading ramp and studied the carnage below. Nine battle brothers dead, as well as 6 chaos marines. Pilot nowhere to be found. Only one figure stood above the bloodbath. His stance triumphant, despite the grievous wounds to body and armor he had suffered. Chroma quickly dispatched the medical servitors to retrieve his brethren, there was work to be done.

 

<<ONE WEEK LATER>>

 

In the pale white light of the medicae ward, Godfried admired his new blessings. His left arm gleamed with a fresh coat of blood red paint, symbolizing his victory over the heretics threatening to defile his brothers despite his own wounds. Godfried of the Bloodied Hand, they called him. The names and honors were unnecessary; it was simply his duty to honor his brothers’ purity.

 

His right forearm clicked and hummed as he tested to see if the neural connectors were wired correctly. Satisfied, he inspected his face. The right side of the face was heavily scarred and pitted from multiple shrapnel wounds. The entire left side however, gleamed in polished chrome, his new bionic eye whirring in its socket as it collected information. Godfried tried to smile, but could only manage a sneer.

 

His sneer widened.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________

 

Well that's it, I'll be editing the orginal post and combining all the parts so they'll be easier to read. I might come up with more tales of Godried in the future :) Thanks for reading!

[CyderPirate]

Very nice. I didn't want to stop reading. The odd phrase here and there is a little cliche, but its nothing to worry about.

Well done.

[Darkchild130]

The is cool, you write the action very dirty and improvised, instead of pristine style of some other astartes scenes. Stamping on heads and tearing spinal columns is where its at!

 

Darkchild

[BassWave]

Very nice. I didn't want to stop reading. The odd phrase here and there is a little cliche, but its nothing to worry about.

Well done.

 

I'm glad you enjoyed it CyderPirate! :D Could you please point out which phrases seemed cliche? I would like to improve for my next story ;)

 

@Darkchild- Glad you enjoyed it as well :D

[WarpStalker]

“Your tenacity is admirable, loyalist. Korhne will..." Khorne is spelt Khorne, just to let you know :)

 

" grenade to immediately follow, bouncing off his, and detonating" bouncing off his what?

 

"The daemon worshipper, tried wiping the gore" unnecessary comma

 

"Only five minutes had elapsed by the time they reached squad Talinacus’s coordinates." Could replace they with "reinforcements" or such

 

I really like it, big fan of the iron hands - they are the coolest of the loyalist legions if thats your sort of thing :P Very gritty, very GrimDark (which this time is a good thing), as someone else said, head stomps and spine tearing IS where its at haha. I hope you don't mind me mentioning the things i have brought up, would just make for a slightly smoother read IMO. Thumbs up :tu:

[BassWave]

Thanks for reading warpstalker, glad you enjoyed it :ermm: Of course I don't mind you pointing out typos, not only does it let me clear up my story, but it proves you read it :P

[Dust01]

When I saw this, I had to read it. Thanks so much, BW! I'm always up for reading more about my favorite SM chapter. :D

[BassWave]

When I saw this, I had to read it. Thanks so much, BW! I'm always up for reading more about my favorite SM chapter. ;)

 

I am honored that as an Iron Hand fan you enjoyed it ^_^ In fact, what inspired me to write this story was how little fluff we Iron Hands have, so I decided to make my own, hoping that I could capture the spirit of our chapter. Judging from the responses, it seems I'm on the right track ;) I plan on making more stories revolving around Godfried, but right now college is killing me, so when I get a break I'll get something up :devil:

[DarkSavage]

Looks really good, love all the detail and where the story is going. Tracking this topic now.

Keep up the good work sir!

[Machine God]

I really enjoyed that story myself.

[Technoscream]

Great stuff, would like to read more!

[BassWave]

Whoa! People are still reading my story, yay!;)

 

Well guys, a story is already forming in my head. I got a pretty good idea what to do about the final fight scene, just need to work backwards as to how it started in the first place lol. I plan on having Godfried go 1v1 with a Slannesh champion, so we'll see how that goes :P

[GeoWolf]

You know, this is really good. Granted I don't know the Iron Hands fluff backwards and forwards as some do, but I agree with Ludovic in that I could see it happening. Not only that, but I think that you have just inspired me good sir. I think that I now have to start with a back story narrative for Heimir, I think it will only serve to help me in the future with the cruching of Heretics and Xenos pasttime we will have... ^_^

[Andrew J]

B Dub - great work so far. I am looking forward to the next part. Havent always been a huge fan of the IH but just read Fulgrim and a few articles on them here on the B&C. They are growing on me mightily brother!

[Aqui]

Why did I not find this before now? :rolleyes:

 

Are you going to continue Brother Godfried's saga? After all, he has a shiny new augmetic to test ;)