Lady_Canoness
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About Lady_Canoness
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Y'know, you're getting good at this :rolleyes: Clear, descriptive writing in such a way that we can see what's going on in our mind's eye. Your style is a good one. On a personal (and, unfortunately, critical) note, I'm a huge fan of how you do the dialogue between the Sisters. This is a personal note, but it feels to me like they are too conversational when they speak - something that doesn't exactly jive with my picture of how sisters work. I can't claim to do better, but Sisters are, I think, hard to do 'right'.
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What I'm getting at is that the story is very good at telling us what things are, yet no so good at detailing things and letting us find out what things are for ourselves. For (a far out) example, you might tell us that Canoness Cho is holding a basketball, dribbles it, and puts it through the hoop. Immersing us would be telling us what the basket ball feels like in her fingers, the sound it makes when it bounces and how it feels under her arm, and the satisfaction of hearing the *swish* as she gets nothing but net. ;) The easiest thing would be to use the characters' senses in detailing your environments (texture, smell, sound, feel) such as the sucking noise made by Hr'Boor's boots as he trudges through the pools of congealed blood on the body room's floor. Also, take the most basic thing and add the details. For example, I am typing a response. My fingers brush deftly across the worn keys as I murmur the words my hands put on the screen. Everything in moderation though, eh? :P
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I like it, especially the creativity you have in making a story such as this. I yearn for more details, however <_< Would it be wrong for me to want to be immersed? :D
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Yeah babe? :lol: hahaha
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Too much? I wasn't sure I was going too far :( Buddy, there is no such thing as 'too much' in 40k - the darker, the grittier, the MEANER, the better ;)
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Brutal :D
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It took me forever to get here and read this story (and for that, I am sorry) but I like what you're doing here. Not too ambitious and biting off more than you can chew - a good, solid piece that can keep going without burning out. Good job :) Also, kudos for taking on Sisters - they are a tough bunch to write about (and even tougher to write well!) -L_C
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I like it. It doesn't look like you are rushing, which is good :blink: I'm still having a hard time keeping all the names straight though :tu:
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Aaaaw I appreciate the endorsement Aquilanus :) On a more serious note, I am interested to see how you take this. I really don't think you'll keep going with your protagonist being 6 :) A little more fleshing out of the culture for those of us who are not familiar with rainbow warrior fluff would be appreciated ;)
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Monday nights at Cambie and Marine Drive Connections Games and Comics. There is 40k from about 4:30 - 9:00.
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Whoa.... That is downright shameful! ...though it is their store so their rules. Connections is not like that at all. Monday night is 40k night at Connections at Cambie + Marine Dr. 5:00 - 9:00.
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Vancouver right here! The Comic Shop *used* to be the place to go, though now.... I *think* Rida's Connection Games 2 on Renfrew is the place to go in Vancouver. I haven't been since summer, but Rida's a friend who goes way back so I try to bring out my Chaos Marines once in the odd while.
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fallen SOB
Lady_Canoness replied to elhno's topic in + HERETIC ASTARTES / TRAITOR LEGIONES ASTARTES +
Very nice. Those are without doubt the best fallen SoB conversions I have ever seen. -
Imperial Fists 1st Co. WIP
Images added to a gallery album owned by Lady_Canoness in Imperial Fists & Successors
My attempts to create an Imperial Fists terminator company after years of absence!