Well you certainly did your research. very well done. I have some notes I took while reading through it.
History; "equipped with blades and halberds" change to "equipped with nemesis weaponry" ?
Organization second sentence. There is NO chapter master of the Grey Knights. Instead a council of Grand Masters with ONE being a member of the Ordo Malleus' inner conclave.
- Not organized into companies. Individual squads.
- No 1st company. Terminator armor is bestowed to only the best and most experienced of Knights.
- Inquisitors may Request Grey Knight help but they are in ABSOLUTELY no way the "Chapter's masters" Far from it!
(May be worthwile to change exact wording of that part as even I had an immediate "knee-jerk" reaction before reading on.)
- Add note about Grey Knight Strike Cruisers, Fastest, Most Advanced cruisers the imperium has to offer.
Personally I might also add a major Spoiler Alert. Not everyone has read Ben Counters storys and it seems you've chronicled the whole bloody thing in your article. I had to skip over it as I haven't read it and am still not sure if I plan to. What can I say I'm just not a fan of his works. But still my advice stands.
When writing about specific battles and such it may be prudent to shorten it and leave out a lot. In staying with typical Grey Knight feel not much is known of their battles, save to the knights who fought it themselves.
Also, why describe much of Titan as "Decrepit"? I know very few knights are ever there but that doesn't mean that various servitors or chapter serfs cannot perform such tasks... never mind.... Counter wrote it didn't he?....
Just my input. Hope it helps you.
=]D[=