Myxx

Very good work! The camo is spot on, and looks really good with the bases.

Man, I hadn't seen this in a bit. Termies and scouts in 15mm? You sir are a madman... I think the scouts look great!

I think I get it now. I just read the short story of Brother Wonsul and it was good. I think you have a lot of good ideas and fodder for stories, and you are putting that into your IA. I think you have this well thought out and are just overloading the information. And I think I may have an idea. Rather than thinking of the IA as an epic tale, the IA should be like a companion to your story-telling, not the stories themselves (which there is another fairly active section for, here on the B&C).

darn double post...

I have reread the IA, but not the short story, and I have to agree with the previous brothers that there seems to be a lot of irrelevant detail. The origins section is a massive text wall that borders on tedious. While it is a decent timeline of battles, it doesn't really explain who the Lunar Tigers are... "we won this battle, then we won another, then we ran into Dracula (er, Night Lords), then we killed some orcs..." I had to force myself thru the homeworld and timeline to get to the rest, and I may have missed some points, but... what makes them different from White Scars other than the naming convention? How do they see the Emperor? Other than guarding supplies for the Admech, how do they see/interact with the rest of the Imperium? Do they have a compassionate streak towards civilians like Sallies do? Do they maintain monasteries/academies on the homeworld like Ultras? Is their realm rather peaceful and well ran, with a large PDF like the Ultima Segmentum?

I am wary of any chapters using the words Luna or Lunar in the name, particularly when combined with a predator. The last group with a name like that didn't turn out so well... I also like celestial over lunar simply for the cadence and pronunciation.

I am absolutely in love with the plasma glow! It kooks stunning on the scale photo...

I reread everything and I think it is better. Only critique: lots of info on world, not so much on chapter. But I await more with baited breath... ;)

I think the use of Korean (or at least Korean sounding) names for characters would help reinforce the idea of an Asian themed world. I just think using a name like Gorea forces you out of the fictional realm (and it also sounds vaguely like a social disease). I would be like writing a great story about how a veteran Sgt found himself interred in a dread, but named him Honored Brother Steve, it kind of derails the suspension of disbelief. But let me also say, I think your overall idea is neat and I look forward to following your IA.

I like the overall idea, but I must agree that some of your naming kills my suspension of disbelief. I understand the desire to use modern-day Asia as an inspiration, but simple softening the names isn't enough in my opinion. I would suggest possibly using a name that has a similar flavor or meaning without being heavy handed. example: rather than Chinae, maybe Wu Jie (Five Kingdoms), rather than Nippo, maybe Kojima (Small Island), and instead of Gorea, Sesjjae (Third). Or something like that, just my $.02

I read it, and I liked most of it. I like how you have developed your Homeworld, I appreciate the variety in culture rather than the bland uniformity found in many IAs. The idea of the Weyes being a pilgrimage is pretty neat too (although I am not sure about making them company "owned"). Warrior women on the homeworld is also cool, I know the SW use them in the version of the Fenrisian PDF. Regarding the female Marines, (my personal feeling is that it is impossible without the Y chromosome) my major critique would be the number of wasted implants. If 600 were implanted and only 20 survived, that is a failure of nearly 97%, a massive waste of an extremely limited resource, and enough to brand that experiment as a complete and total failure. Fluff wise, I see no problem with your chapter attempting it once (particularly with their distant and isolated realm) but to continue the practice with that kind of failure rate is almost the definition of stupidity. Oh, and the theft of weapons, armor and gene-seed from other chapters after a battle is probably enough to be declared renegade and hated, or even hunted, by other chapters (much like the Astral Claws, if memory serves).

add me to the interested list. I can hardly manage the full size figs, let alone a half sized batch... Cheers and good luck, I'll be watching this for sure...