Jump to content

Index Astartes: Black Guard


Ferrata

Recommended Posts

Guardians of Purity

The Black Guard

Space Marine Chapter

 

The Black Guard were formed from the fires of the Great Heresy, born from the shattered remains of the Raven Guard Legion. The horrors brought to the legion by the Weregeld left a deep scar in the Black Guard, a scar which the chapter still bears today. Eager to halt the degradation of Corax

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Very nice work, Ferrata :rolleyes:

 

It's always good to see a well-thought out chapter with solid reasons for deviations from the codex, rather than simply because they're 'cool' :devil:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Excellent work Ferrata, as always. I particularly like the way recruits are selected, taken, and checked for possible induction. The only questions I have are:

1. What happens if the selected individual fails to meet the grade? Is he killed or allowed to simply wake up?

2. Also, does the Chapter take children (read: kidnap) as well as the younger warriors?

 

Nice play on the "open book" scenario with the Inquisition when it comes to chaos taint. I would imagine that certain parts of the Inquisition use that in their own studies as well. Which leads me to this question, maybe I missed it, because of the specialized operational set that the Black Guard have with their continuous forays into the EoT via the breach mentioned have they a more open relationship with the GK or is the other way around,...or am I simply eading to much into it?

 

 

After several hours of interrogation, the Black Guard were assaulted by Bile
Link to comment
Share on other sites

What happens if the selected individual fails to meet the grade? Is he killed or allowed to simply wake up?

 

To be honest, I had thought about this in much detail, but having a quick think I would imagine it to run something like this:

 

The individual is out cold for the genetic test, if he fails he is killed (we can't have an impure creature running about). Then he is allowed to wake for the last two tests, which are run like a normal chapters introduction passage. If they fail, they might be killed in the trails, or just turned into Servitors. Basically, once a scout has selected you for "duties", you are dead to your family. It might take them a while to get you, but you are dead.

 

2. Also, does the Chapter take children (read: kidnap) as well as the younger warriors?

 

Children, no, but then the younger warriors are meant to be 12-14 to fit within the acceptable age period. Furtim is a little rough, between the tribes and animals, so the children are brought up to survive and fight. By the time they can fire a bow, they are doing that, and as soon as they can use a spear/sword/axe/twig, they are doing that. It is a harsh world...

 

I've never imagined the chapter having much to do with the Militant arms of the Inquisition, though I am sure there are times when they have been supported by such a force when travelling in the Eye, but I doubt it is a common occurance and surely would not lead to an increased relationship. The Black Guard are pretty much left to their own devices within the Eye, people have bigger battles to fight. They would accept the company of Grey Knights (even if the GK were secretly meant to be watching them), and take them into the Eye, but nothing which would lead to them going "Send us some GK, we wanna go party in the Eye."

 

If you dont have a full background story for that tasty tid-bit of information, you are so wrong

 

The section was originally expanded upon as the "big moment" section, but my trusty advisor (RT) and I decided it didn't work within the IA as it was more story form. I will probably get round to writing out the story in full over Easter.

 

Thanks for the kind words all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

An interesting read, Ferrata. :P Unlike RT I didn't get a draft :P so this is all new to me, but I did enjoy the spin on a previously unexplored second founding chapter in the footsteps of SCC's Brazen Claws and OMG's Angels Sanguine.

 

It has really been a while since I properly read the Raven Guard IA properly, but the idea of examining how the chapter dealt with the fallout of Corax's tinkering is ripe for examination, and gives the article cohesion as a theme. As I have not read the IA recently, and don't have it to hand, could you tell me if it said Corax actually went of to the Eye of Terror, or if he just disappeared. I know the EoT seems to be the tourist destination of choice for the primarchs, but is this confirmed or speculation.

 

This certainly ties in the idea of them being Praeses - if they want to search the Eye then this is the best place to be based. Even if the IA:RG article is unclear where Corax went then there is nothing to stop the BG thinking or having evidence to believe that Corax is in there somewhere, so there is certainly no reason to change anything material to the IA if it doesn't say where he went.

 

The Bile / RG geneseed flaw connection is something I have been toying with as part of a project myself, but from a completely different perspective. I will have to contact you about it later, but at the moment it does sit oddly in the IA. As they are obsessive about geneseed purity then why would they go to seek out Bile's knowledge? If you wanted to stitch your geneseed back together then Bile would be the last person I would trust with the sewing machine! :D As has been said above, the backstory behind this idea is fascinating and deserves to be fleshed out in an appropriate manner. :D

 

Re: Partying in the Eye... Have they investigated using Null-ships? This seems to be one of the few / best ways to protect visitors to this region from the inevitable taint. There are a few stable ways mentioned in the background. The Cadian Gate is too obvious, but how about the Arx Gap? I think there are others too in Codex:EoT.

 

What is the opinion of the Raven Guard chapter itself of their activities? Do they see the search as folly or are they supportive of their little brothers?

 

Given the obsession for geneseed purity it would be difficult to get enough brothers to keep the chapter at anything like full strength. Admittedly I have seen a number of chapters / legions that have had such high standards for geneseed and the like that they are often low in numbers, but this could beviewed from the perspective that they have decided to really pick their fights, becoming insular and rarely contributing forces to crusades outside their own selfish (from the outside perspective) interests. It would also tie in with the 'fight smarter, not harder' idea of waiting, preparing and picking their battles, unlike the more headstrong chapters who can afford to throw their lives away in frontal assaults. This should give the chapter a bit of an edge, even aloof - hardly seen as goodie-goodies by the masses. ;)

 

Back to the homeworld. If it is very close to the EoT is there a risk of the populace becoming corrupted by such proximity? Given their mania about purity would they consider that the population was potentially tainted and only use it as a handy base, instead recruiting from more outlying sectors? There is no reason why they would have to do this, but some mention of the populace being protected or otherwise showing no sign of taint above the norm might be worth it.

 

If the planet is near a calm exit / entrance to the Eye, has there been any traffic coming the other way? Have there been invasions (small ones, admittedly) over the millennia that they have had to contend with? I think I remember something about Abaddon sneaking forces out of the Arx Gap to start the 12th Black Crusade over in the Gothic Sector, so they don't just break out of the Cadian Gate.

 

Overall a very interesting platform for the new IA. Will you be painting up this as an army for gaming or is it purely a narrative exercise? Either way, I think I can guess which traits you are hinting at.

 

I did see a couple of typos (form/from in the first line of the second paragraph of the homeworld section, encase/in case in the penultimate paragraph of the doctrine section and fonder/founder in the second line of the beliefs section.) The italicised introductory first paragraph also suffered from word replications in close proximity, particularly scar, gene-seed and present / presence. It is the first part people will read so tightening this section will be essential.

 

Overall, good work. :tu:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Unlike RT I didn't get a draft

You should go on MSN more often then :unsure:

 

It has really been a while since I properly read the Raven Guard IA properly, but the idea of examining how the chapter dealt with the fallout of Corax's tinkering is ripe for examination, and gives the article cohesion as a theme. As I have not read the IA recently, and don't have it to hand, could you tell me if it said Corax actually went of to the Eye of Terror, or if he just disappeared. I know the EoT seems to be the tourist destination of choice for the primarchs, but is this confirmed or speculation.

He left Deliverance that very night on a course for the Eye of Terror, never to be seen again, leaving but a single word as his valediction, 'Nevermore

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First of all, nice work.

 

The Choice of Raven Guard geneseed is different, and your choice of the Black Guard is good, as you're sticking to the background for 2nd Founding.

 

I like the idea of elaborate tatoos that tell a story, everyone is so hung up on the idea that tatoos are pretty, but initially that wasn't the main reason for wearing them on your skin. Would be great to see that modelled.

 

The idea of the marines being uneasy at destroying the corpses of those fallen while on mission in the Eye, yet doing it nonetheless out of a need for purity is interesting. Creates some good tension. You have a very good reasoning put into place, which I suppose allows you to justify your choice of Purity Above All, if I'm not mistaken. I was wondering if they also had Flesh over Steel as the Raven Guard do. Anyways, it must be satisfying to know your background supports your chosen Trait very well.

 

One thing I might suggest would be to describe the planet in slightly more detail - perhaps why it's so harsh, as of now the reader doesn't really know much about it. A few sentences briefly describing the dangerous flora/fauna/atmosphere/etc could help a bit.

 

Chernyi, believing their to be no other way to return the Raven Guard gene-seed to its former purity, ordered the Black Guard to the Portulae system, located to the galactic west of the Eye of Terror.

 

That's a small spelling mistake which I found, my little contribution! Good read.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for your comments S'Khan (people with long names should expect them to be shortened)

 

Good catch on the spelling mistake, I will punish the monkeys...

 

As for traits, well, I never intended to play this chapter, so I have never thought about which traits they would use. There are some obvious ones which come from the fluff, such as Purity Above All and See but not be Seen, but I never intended these traits to be justified by the fluff. So, while it is good to have the fluff to support any traits chosen, I never intended it to :lol:

 

Yeah, I see the tatoo's as a full on body coverage story, with different campaign markings woven into one big piece of art. And on the modelling expect, this chapter is pure fluff, but if anyone would like to paint/draw them, I would love to see the idea's they had for the tatoo markings.

 

The home world was never meant to be important to the chapter, it was just a place to gather troops. I might extend the section in the next draft taking into account the idea's both you and A.Rex put forward.

 

Cheers

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's a small spelling mistake which I found, my little contribution! Good read.

 

There are a *lot* of grammar and spelling mistakes in it (fonder instead of founder, armours instead of armour's, and way too many usages of 'whilst' even when the proper word to use would have been 'while'. Even a few times when the sentence immediatley following one that started with 'whilst' also starts with it!) and a couple of sentences/comments that seem to go in opposite directions.

 

But don't get me wrong, I like most of what I read here. I'd personally tone down the descriptive words. By that I mean for example changing the 'extreamley stable' to 'fairly stable' in regard to the Gene-Seed. After all you do have deviations, and when most people read 'extreamley stable gene-seed' they think Ultramarines. Which actually has been described in those words by GW a few times I've noticed.

 

Nice work for the most part though :D Glad to see at least one sneaky marine army too, and with a background that WORKS for the rules!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would imagine the term 'extremely stable' for the geneseed is a relative thing. The whole point is that they have got a terrible problem with their geneseed, and the main drive of the chapter to me is to try to undo the damage that Corax inadvertently wrought.

 

So while it might be more stable than the Raven Guard Chapter geneseed, it is all relative. I would imagine it is still prone to terrible corruptions and degenerations, and the phrase 'extremely stable' would indeed be misleading, making people think of the Ultras as has been mentioned above. For that reason I would consider changing it. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey, what do you expect? I'm a science student not an english student :P

 

I am planning to go back and check the words used, but busy busy busy is me at the moment. On the "whilst", I only used that four times during the entire article... I'm sure whilst is correct english...I'm sure :P

 

Thanks

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Attack of the nerds Im sure. Regardless, excellent read, Ferrata. An enhanced study of science hasn't rotted that mind of yours I see, well, not anymore than it already was <_<

 

I wasn't so sure about the pure gene-seed becoming useless thing.

 

What I am asking is, with a higher concentration of medical knowledge from an increased number of apothecaries and specially-trained squad sergeants/leaders etc., how can a gene-seed become corrupt (even to a small degree) while being in a brother-marine? It is supposed to be the chapter apothecarium's job to ensure the gene-seed's purity, and Im sure that if a gene-seed were to regularly become un-usable on such a regular occasion the gene-seed is therefore not "extremely stable" at all.

 

That having been said though, good job. Love it ^^

 

My $0.02

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Raven Guard gene-seed is unstable due to Corax's use of experimental techniques to increase the rate of which he could produce marines during the heresy (and created Weregeld in the progess), so the Black Guard inherited a poor gene-seed. I will change the wording of that sentence, but I meant it to mean comparable to the Raven Guard gene-seed, it is extremely stable. In comparison to the Ultramarines though, it is not very stable. Look at like this, on Stability Ultramarines score 100%, while the Raven Guard may only score 30%. The Black Guard would score 70%, which is extremely more stable than the Raven Guard, but so unstable in comparison to the Ultramarines. The Black Guard have dragged it up from the ground of useleness, and transformed it into something which is okay, but they want perfection.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, cool fluff. I really like it. The electoos are pretty sweet, but you should actually reduce them in tech level to regular tattoos. My chapter has kinda the same tribal brand goin' and I had to question- if it's a tribal ritual, do the tribes have the gear for electoos? Probably not, so why would chapter use elctoos and not just a stone, hammer, and some ink?

 

I really like your core stuff. One glaring thing in my eye is your M.40 Bolter sidebar. THe bolter is really the Holy Bolter, and it's pattern is an STC from Mars (like the Powerarmor) so it's hard to imagine marines modifying the bolter with ligther materials. The idea of Mp5-style bolters is pretty sweet. If you read Abnett's 'Soul Drinkers' books, they mention that there is a secret arm within the Library of Terra that has bull-pup style hellguns. Perhaps you could use similar fire-arms, rather than saying that your men re-mill their weapons.

 

Does anyone else in the Imperium know that you are looking for Bile for KNOWLEGE, not to just cap 'im? I can't see dealings with Arch Heretics being very beneficial to your image among loyalists.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The tribes would do it with whatever they could get their hands on, while the chapter have better equipment at hand. As the chapter is pretty distant from the tribe, its more the idea they like than the actual ritual.

 

On the Bolter thing, well the BT made the Crusader, so its not totally out there. I kind of thing the requirement and need of a lighter weapon has made them modify the bolter. Without the modified bolter, they are less able to do the Emperor's bidding, so its not that bad. I'm not sure if that Sidebar will make it into the final article or not, I might exchange it for another.

 

And on Bile, well the Imperium knows that the BG have had a lot to do with Bile, hunting him and tracking him. While the BG have never screamed why they are hunting him, they aren't covered in secrets. Some people might know that they seek his knowledge, but probably presume it is to make them better fighters against chaos.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One glaring thing in my eye is your M.40 Bolter sidebar. THe bolter is really the Holy Bolter, and it's pattern is an STC from Mars (like the Powerarmor) so it's hard to imagine marines modifying the bolter with ligther materials. The idea of Mp5-style bolters is pretty sweet. If you read Abnett's 'Soul Drinkers' books, they mention that there is a secret arm within the Library of Terra that has bull-pup style hellguns. Perhaps you could use similar fire-arms, rather than saying that your men re-mill their weapons.

STCs are designed to be made from whatever materials are available locally, so there's no reason to assume that a bolter produced by one forgeworld would weigh the same as a bolter produced by a forgeworld the other side of the galaxy. Lighter materials are perfectly feasible - it may be that the BG get their weapons shipped from a specific forgeworld that has extensive resources of a light, strong material...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have no idea where I read it, but aren't the lasguns from Lost Hope basically made out wood, while more hi-tech worlds have they made out of super-metals or plastics. The idea of having them from a specific forgeworld is a good one, I might change the sidebar to come more from that angle, the special production from a certain forgeworld. I will be editing this article in the next couple of weeks to change it after discussions.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

What Rogue Trader said... :)

 

I think I remember something about STC being used on frontier worlds to utilise wood / wood byproducts for the armour of a rhino, although I might have dreamed it. :tu: Certainly such inferior materials would not be as strong or would be a lot heavier and bulkier than more advanced ones to make up for it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Brilliant story brother, almost made me want to put down my Blood Angels down for a bit there. You have a talent for fluff, I should wonder if your skill with the pen is a mighty as on the battlefield, if so, you would weild a mighty army indeed.

 

~Brother Captain Cassius

Link to comment
Share on other sites

While the common IG soldier might not know about the Heresy, maybe some Space Marines will not, but the children of the First Founding legions would. The Raven Guard (and then the Black Guard) are hardly ones to not write things down, so the Heresy is known amongst the chapter..
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you read all of the IA's released by GW they are done from the view of an all-knower (in the most part). The Heresy is known in the IA's. Though I would like to hear more of your views though.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.