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Legio BandC short story


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10 replies to this topic

#1
Merkava

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Okay guys, since Hasoroth's story is being delayed by real life and Cambrius' (i think) suggestion that we put in our own story I came up with one that's been floating around my melon. Now before you get too critical, please remeber that this is the first story I've written since like, oh I don't know Gr 10 English (which was ages ago!) So hope you like it. And please be gentle :unsure: It's 3 pages in MS Word and after spending 3 hrs writing I post it on the board and it seems to have shrunk! Man this writing thing sucks. I don't know how you guys do it!

++6 066 786.M41++
++Segmentum Tempestus++
++Sapharius Cluster, Kararian System ++
++Deep System Remote Observer Station 23++
++Unidentified Warp disturbance detected in location quadrant 74389, bearing 0568 mils, range 505 768 km. Will continue monitoring. Out++

++6 075 786.M41++
++Segmentum Tempestus++
++Sapharius Cluster, Kararian System ++
++Deep System Remote Observer Station 23++
++Unidentified Warp disturbance emitted large mass estimated size diameter of 75 km with range to target 5 689 km and closing steadily. If trajectory and speed remain constant, estimated time to contact with Severen’s Planet: 15 days 17hours 37 minutes. Closer observation has revealed numerous large pieces have broken off from the main body, however all trajectories remain the same. Recommend alert level Epsilon. New observation incoming. Wait. Smaller targets identified as medium class Ork Cruisers. Recommend system wide alert level Alpha. New observation incoming. Wait. Ork fighters are on attack vectors with this station, deploying counter measures. Wait. Counter measures ineffective we are under att0001101001010010100101++

++Contact with Deep System Remote Observer Station 23 lost at 2347hrs 075 786.M41++

The agriworld, Severen’s Planet, hung like a jewel against the backdrop of space. Bands of white and grey clouds gently drifted across its blue and green surface, hiding the panic that was spreading like wild fire below. During the preceding nine days the planet’s upper class had been deserting the planet like rats fleeing a sinking ship. Entrepreneuring merchantmen began selling space in their cargo holds not even fit for prisoners with many a ship’s Captain taking in enough credits to set them selves up on paradise worlds. For many of those cowardly souls, this would prove to be their last journey, with a few of the more unscrupulous captains empting their cargo holds into space and returning to Severen’s Planet for more passengers. After witnessing one such atrocity, the Imperial battleship Severen’s Blessing launched a killing salvo on the freighter in retaliation for the deaths and as a warning to other captains.
After sending his household and their families off planet in his personal craft, the planetary Governor, retired Imperial Army General Van Veers, assumed overall command of the planet’s meager defense force. On the twelfth day, after refusing General Van Veers request to save his ship and people, the captain of the Severen’s Blessing ordered his ship on an intercept course with the Ork fleet. During the opening salvoes of the battle Severen’s Blessing managed to crippled or destroy three of the greenskin’s vessel. Ordering his ship on a course out of system, the Severen’s Blessing managed to draw the Ork fleet away from it’s course to the planet. After a five day running battle that saw many a greenskin vessel destroyed, a flight of fifteen Ork fighters manage to evade all the Imperial ship’s point defenses and smash themselves into it’s scarred hull. One of the explosive laden fighters, careening wildly, detonated inside the ship’s exhaust port. This explosion triggered a chain reaction that detonated the ship’s power core and ripped the valiant destroyer from the inside out.
Slowly the greenskin fleet turned it’s ugly face back towards Severen’s Planet. Warboss Grazsnikt’s WAAAAGH had come to Kararian system.

+++

“Sir, the greenskins have begun to bombard the planet. It will be only a matter of hours before their mobs begin planetfall”
General Van Veers look up wearily from his map slate towards his adjutant. Captain Reichstein’s heroic action had allowed the PDF to bring in the vast majority of the planet’s remaining populace into the planet’s single main city. Even now refugees still straggled through the city’s main gate. During the past sixteen days the soldiers of the PDF and ordinary citizens, farmer and upperclassman alike, strove to improve the city’s meager defensive wall. Leftover from the planet’s original founding, successive generations of lax governors, basking in the systems peacefulness, had let the planet’s defense molder and decay. Van Veers first act as governor had been to reinstitute mandatory service within the defense forces as well begin fortification of the capital. Unfortunately, the Orks had a different plan.
Fifty thousand unblooded boys and five hundred thousand souls depending on them, Van Veers thought to himself. “Emperor protect us”, he murmured softly to himself and then in a louder voice, “Signal the Astropathica to send out the final distress call. We can only pray that someone will hear the call in time.”
“Yes, sir.” The major saluted crisply, turned on his heels and headed out of the command bunker.
“Emperor protect us”, he snorted. “I think he has already forsaken us.”

+++

The Astartes battle barge Argo’s Fury of the Legio Bolter and Chainsword’s Great Company Light of the Emperor emerged from the tear in the fabric of realspace trailing the ethereal energies of the Warp like a comet’s tail. Closely following in her wake trailed her sister, Infernus.
On board the Argo’s Fury, her master, Great Company Master Captain Bors, stood in front of the command pulpit. All around him he could hear the toneless voices of the command deck’s servitors relaying reading from their instruments. Hushed voices of the ships officers passing orders to their rating add a counter play to the music of an efficiently run bridge. Bors felt through his ceramite shod feet, the vibration of the ship’s plasma generators begin to power the conventional engines as the Warp core entered it’s shutdown cycle.
“Sir, we have successfully entered the Kararian system. Augaries comfirm the fleet is still together.”
“Very well, inform the Navigators to commence planning for the next leg of our journey. I shall be in my chamber.” With those terse order’s Bors turned to leave the bridge. But before he could reach the bulk head doors a junior deck officer shouted.
“Master, the Astropaths have just reported a distress signal originating from this system’s fourth planet. They are under attack. Sir, it’s Orks.”
Beneath his hood, Bors’ eyes flashed wickly. Slowly his mouth curl upwards in a feral grin, exposing long, razor sharp canines. So much for an uneventful return trip from Novema, he thought, things were about to get interesting again.
“Send word back to the Legio, inform The Lurker, that we shall be delayed for a short while. Order the fleet to assume attack formation. The servants of the Emperor require our protection.”
Once more Hell had come to Severen’s Planet. But this time it would be the Angel’s of Death that would drop from the skies on burning contrails of fire.

Edited by Merkava, 14 March 2008 - 04:32 AM.

That's the problem with the internet. Back in the good ol'days, each village had to endure it's own idiot. But now one has to deal with idiots from villages around the world.

When in doubt follow the rule of cool.

International Brotherhood of Hobbiests (IBH Member)
QUOTE (Gold Raven @ Aug 16 2007, 04:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Y'know for all of their sado-masochist hedonistic tendancies, I'll never understand why not a single one of the EC went to Fabius Bile, pointed at their nether-regions and said, "While you're cutting me open, think you can get these working again?"
My Blog

#2
HellChyld

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Very Nice! more please

gallery_48988_6285_1641.jpggallery_48988_6285_1098.jpggallery_48988_6285_1776.jpggallery_1805_634_6746.jpg


#3
Zengar

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Huzzah. I think I'll write a story called 15 minutes. What Zigfried does with his free time each day.
"There is nothing my power sword cannot cut."

#4
Brother Cambrius

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Very well done Merkava. Yes it is hard to write long story lines von word when you think you've written enough. :) I get it all the time when I write.

I look forward to the next installment.

Cambrius

gallery_26154_15777_7413.png sml_gallery_81492_11492_822.pngjHkptLG.png]gallery_77459_13226_2824.pnggallery_48988_10069_2782.png gallery_48988_11572_5225.pnggallery_48988_15094_15503.png

 


#5
the-betrayer

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It was me who surgested writting are own, and you have done a awesome job with it mate =), i look forward to the next part.

P.S i've wirtten a few storys in my time so if you need any help please dont hesitate to ask =)
"you hear about that space marine version of 300? yeah, its called 3"

"He who stands with me, shall be my brother"

"If the journy isn't hard, then the destination is worthless"

#6
Merkava

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Ha ha, sorry about that betrayer! Well, on the 2 and a half hour drive back home I had some great ideas for fight sequences, made the time go by a bit faster! Now it is just a matter of putting it down in a coherent form. I'll probably work on it when I hit a painting block. Anyone else who is reading this, and is not part of the 11 man team, I'm looking for names to use for background characters that die or do things in the up coming large battle. Just PM me with your 40Kish sounding name.

Neph - I've got a wicked combat sequence planned for one of the battles for Bors and his assault cannon armed command squad.

I'm planning on having 3 points of view - the squad, Bors and Van Veers (the last one more for background narative) Is that too much?
Cheers, guys and thanks for the encouragement in to this project.

Hasoroth - I hope you don't kill off anyone as I'm basing this story immediatly after the campagin yours is set in.
That's the problem with the internet. Back in the good ol'days, each village had to endure it's own idiot. But now one has to deal with idiots from villages around the world.

When in doubt follow the rule of cool.

International Brotherhood of Hobbiests (IBH Member)
QUOTE (Gold Raven @ Aug 16 2007, 04:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Y'know for all of their sado-masochist hedonistic tendancies, I'll never understand why not a single one of the EC went to Fabius Bile, pointed at their nether-regions and said, "While you're cutting me open, think you can get these working again?"
My Blog

#7
Hasoroth

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So this is where they moved it! Good god I was looking all over Amicus and the Librarium.

No I dont plan on killing anyone off, I think (insert evil look here)

Stories will commence shortly now that I've found the damned place haha

eguzgPS.jpg
 


#8
Merkava

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Sweet! Cause I've hit the mental block from 'heck'! Plays out great in my head....but getting it to paper is another story.
That's the problem with the internet. Back in the good ol'days, each village had to endure it's own idiot. But now one has to deal with idiots from villages around the world.

When in doubt follow the rule of cool.

International Brotherhood of Hobbiests (IBH Member)
QUOTE (Gold Raven @ Aug 16 2007, 04:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Y'know for all of their sado-masochist hedonistic tendancies, I'll never understand why not a single one of the EC went to Fabius Bile, pointed at their nether-regions and said, "While you're cutting me open, think you can get these working again?"
My Blog

#9
Merkava

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Okay, sat down and started typing and here's what I came up with. I'd have done more but it's late and I have a long drive ahead of me tomorrow. Anywho here it, halfway done, part 2. (Seriously, I don't know how you guys make it look so easy)

After nearly three day’s full burn, the Astarte’s fleet drew close to Severen’s World. During the travel in system towards the beleaguered planet, a few small pockets of the Ork fleet were encountered. The fleet barely slowed down as they smashed through these lightly armed pickets. As the time for battle drew near, Captain Bors gathered his officers for their final briefing aboard Argo’s Fury.
The giant armoured forms of the Astartes in full armour made the large room feel small. In the pale green light of the hololith displaying the fleet disposition, servitors bustled along mindless, carrying out there tasks. Exposed cables snaked through the walls and the absence of decorations, betrayed this ships as prime task being the execution of battle.
As Captain Bors strode through the access hatch, the general din in the room silenced. Each Marine, veterans of countless horrific battles, stood straighter as their Chapter Master, ancient but still deadly entered.
Bors moved to the lectern placed before the active hololith and surveyed his assembled captains and their command staff. As much as Bors relished the thought of the coming battle, he wondered how many of his brothers in arms would come under the final ministrations of the apothecaries. The campaign they were returning from had not been easy. Many of the Great Companies fallen lay within the holds of the barges, their long journey home to their parent chapters, just beginning. With a slight shake of his head, he banished the thought to the back of his mind. With a booming voice, Bors began his briefing.
“Brothers, the servants of the Emperor require our aid. The foul xenos have dared to show their faces near our Legion. We shall now show them the error of that notion”
With that many of the more raucous members cheered loudly. As they died down, Bors continued.
“Our scans of the system have shown a large space hulk on the far side of the planet. The hulk is accompanied by a small fleet of escort ships, each and on their own small, but enough to present a problem if left alone. Deep scans have shown what we believe to be the vast majority of the Orks, planetside. They have merged into two groups; the first larger group is besieging the planet’s main city where most of the civilians have holed up to fight. The second smaller group is making its way around the inland sea to link up with the main body of orks.”
“The assault of the planet will begin with the fleet taking up a geosynchronous orbit above the city. The fleet will then carry out an orbital bombardment for thirty minutes. Two minutes prior to completion of the bombardment, First and Second companies will drop on the outskirts of the city into the orks. Third company will drop onto the second body of orks. Once beachheads have been established, Thunderhawk transports will land their respective companies armoured assets and extract any casualties. As the planet’s orbit brings the fleet into range of the ork hulk, Infernus and Serenity Lost, with their escorts, will detach from the fleet and engage the hulk. Fourth and Fifth companies will launch boarding torpedoes, board the hulk and destroy it. I will drop with the First Company with my command squad. If there are no questions, return to your companies to prepare your men for battle. For the Emperor”
With a unified voice, the gathered marines shouted, “For the Emperor!”

+++


And of course again, a page and a half in MSWord, becomes a couple of paragraph on the forum. So disheartening.
That's the problem with the internet. Back in the good ol'days, each village had to endure it's own idiot. But now one has to deal with idiots from villages around the world.

When in doubt follow the rule of cool.

International Brotherhood of Hobbiests (IBH Member)
QUOTE (Gold Raven @ Aug 16 2007, 04:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Y'know for all of their sado-masochist hedonistic tendancies, I'll never understand why not a single one of the EC went to Fabius Bile, pointed at their nether-regions and said, "While you're cutting me open, think you can get these working again?"
My Blog

#10
HellChyld

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Nice story!! only problems I see is ranks. Leading a great company would be sweet but bors wouldn't be a chapter master he'd be captain as listed first or a commander. other then that Its excellent and I await more :)

gallery_48988_6285_1641.jpggallery_48988_6285_1098.jpggallery_48988_6285_1776.jpggallery_1805_634_6746.jpg


#11
Merkava

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Actually I was using the rank more in the style of the old Legions. Companies are led by Captians and the Great Company (a half strengh chapter) are led by a senior Captain, refered to as the Chapter Master. I know the Ultramarines for one, had something similar during the Crusade era. Sorry for the confusion. During this time period of the Legio, Kurgan is the "Legion Master". Sorry for the confusion. I read over our fluff, but I must have missed the part on the rank structure in the legion.
That's the problem with the internet. Back in the good ol'days, each village had to endure it's own idiot. But now one has to deal with idiots from villages around the world.

When in doubt follow the rule of cool.

International Brotherhood of Hobbiests (IBH Member)
QUOTE (Gold Raven @ Aug 16 2007, 04:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Y'know for all of their sado-masochist hedonistic tendancies, I'll never understand why not a single one of the EC went to Fabius Bile, pointed at their nether-regions and said, "While you're cutting me open, think you can get these working again?"
My Blog