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Lords of Feroce


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#1
Hubernator

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Well, the Phantoms have had their airtime (for now lol), so I decided to put them aside for a while and begin a new IA. This one will be a combo effort between me, Eiric Hakon, Lord Solcia, and anyone else who's interested :D If you are interested PM me or Lord Solcia :D

Anyway, here's what we have so far:

The Lords of Feroce

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Origins

The 21st Founding has been a mystery throughout the Imperium. In such times the geneseeds of those new Chapters that are part of this Founding have been modified, or one of the new implants initiates receive has been tweaked to make the new marines perform better in a certain attribute. One prime example was the Lords of Feroce. The Chapter's geneseed had been modified, particularly the Ossmodula gland. The gland was adjusted to improve the bone structure of new marines, and initial tests seemed to prove the new change a success. However this became less apparent during the Lords' first major battle, the Clash on Feroce.

The war started on the recently chosen homeplanet, Feroce V. A Necron Awakening began on one of the 4 continents of the planet, to which the Lords responded quickly. The Necrons decimated the entire environment of the continent, creating a barren wasteland. The Chapter struck the Necrons hard, hoping to eliminate them from long-range fire. This all worked well until they sent in assault squads to finish the job. Those squads never made it out alive, which did come as a small surprise to the Lords. After the battle the bodies were recovered, and what they saw astounded them. Every single one of those marines had broken bones throughout their bodies, except one marine who could barely move at all. The marine was taken to the Fortress Monastery and tested, along with a few of his fallen brothers. The results showed that all of them had suffered structural problems to their skeletons; those that were dead had very brittle bones; the marine who was alive had a solid bone skeleton with hardly any workable joints, which had built up within a few days. The Apothecaries were worried at the results; it was a very pressing matter. The current Chapter Master Kiro McPhane declared the matter be covered up and kept secret until a solution could be found.

The secrecy lasted for centuries, with each new Chapter Master making sure that the Chapter's secret remained hidden from the Inquisition, however it was all in vain. During the years of the 12th Chapter Master the Lords took part in a crusade against the Orks. During the aftermath of the final victory an Imperial Guardsman noticed how some of the Lords could barely move some of their limbs, while others stood like statues. He kept the matter to himself until after the crusade, then reported the matter to the Inquisition. The Inquisition put aside such a rumour, however more and more claims came in, uttering the same just to satisfy the guardsman's persistence they drew out some records on the Lords to prove the guardsman wrong. What they found was a very small list of notes all suggesting the same thing - marines that couldn't move their limbs. The =][= were confused and sent Lord Inquisitor Verak to investigate this matter.

After a few years of filtering through a large collection of files, Lord Inquisitor Verak filed a report. In this report he detailed all the facts that the High Lords needed in order to make note of this unknown Chapter, however there was a surprise at the end of this report, which many hadn't expected:

...However it is apparent that the Chapter has a major flaw in their geneseed. This only became apparent when I witnessed a rather horrific sight. I had decided to join the 3rd Company while they launched an attack on the Ork race on Levah III. The battle itself was bloody yet I gathered much from it, mainly on how they performed during battles. However it was the aftermath that was most intriguing . Many of the marines had suffered from broken bones, mainly in their arms and legs. Some had broken ribs and spines too, and in one case the whole skeletal structure of the marine was shattered. There were also cases of marines who could barely move, with one particular sergeant unable to move. I hadn't heard or seen such things before, although it seemed the Chapter had. They simply removed those that couldn't move from the battlefield. Those that could were helped to a temporary medical wing, where many of them received crude bionics until they returned back to their homeworld. I questioned the Company Master on the matter, pressing for an answer; however I got no reply, apart from:

"It happens quite frequently. We will manage, tis but a minor setback."


I decided that when the geneseed sample was sent off I would also request a thorough check of it to determine what was wrong. The report came back with no evidence of geneseed taint. I requested a check of one of the dead from that battle, to which the apothecary at the time hesitantly agreed. We checked the whole body and all the organs, but we didn't find much evidence, apart from that the dead marine's bones were brittle and snapped quite easily. Also I noticed the Ossmodula gland was an odd colour, so I requested it be removed and tested. The Apothecary refused, along with other members of the Chapter. I spent weeks trying to press an answer from them, but they weren't uttering a word. However it proved successful after one particular battle. An Apothecary was dealing with a deceased Marine, during which I decided to take action and forced an answer out of him. After some interrogation I he finally uttered:

"We seem to have this horrible condition that makes the bone structure more brittle than normal. The effects vary but the general symptoms are a weaker skeletal bone structure. Although we have also found cases of the skeleton becoming completely solid, locking up joints and preventing movement. We've looked into this many times and found one common factor: the Ossmodula gland has malfunctioned. In many cases we have found that the gland itself is off-colour, often with a tint of green. We tested the bones and found a toxin that is produced inside the gland, so preventing it is virtually impossible. We've tried many treatments but none have worked. However we have often replaced broken bones with bionics, which has proven successful so far."


I was surprised by this, as I'm sure you will be too. However it is your judgement to decide what will be done about this Chapter. I for one am astounded at them still continuing to fight in the name of the Emperor."


After the report was published, the Inquisition came down upon the Chapter with much ferocity. The Chapter itself was rocked to the core about this new and sudden revelation. The Inquisition decided to take control of the Chapter, however the Chapter Master refused to agree on this. The Inquisition argued with the Chapter for years, with no sign of letting up. It was during the reign of the 13th and current Chapter Master Lawrence Kerallo, that the Inquisition finally settled on an agreement: they would watch the Chapter under much scrutiny and step in when they think the Lords have "failed".


Homeworld

- Feroce V, part of a system of 6 planets. Semi arid. Vast canyons covering 60% of land. Few oceans. 4 Continents - Harroh, Krii, Forcaa and "The Wastelands". Harroh:- plains, few mountains. Krii:- Canyons and rivers mainly, few mountain ranges. Forcaa:- rivers and few deep canyons, most arid. "The Wastelands":- once was called Harash, decimated by Necrons, land is now barren place full of mutated creatures.
- towns located in the 3 inhabitable continents. Fortress-Monastary "The Sanctuary" located in the main city in Harroh, Ihama
- Recruits taken from the towns. Annual event: many possible recruits selected and tested. Afterwards they are each told about the curse; those who do not wish to join are mind-wiped and sent home again, those who wish to join are inducted into the Chapter

Geneseed

The geneseed of the Lords is unknown to all eyes in the Imperium, bar the AdMech. However this was put aside after the creation. The AdMech were looking into improving the bone structure of marines, making them stronger and more resilient. The Lords got nominated to undergo the testing and so it began. The results of the tests proved successful, although it seemed that they were deceptive.

The Ossmodula gland had been adjusted to increase production of the substance that builds up the skeletal structure of a marine. However the increase became unstable, but this wasn't known at the time. Further tests have shown that any of the Lords with the tweaked geneseed come under the risk of suffering two skeletal problems. The first of these was that the bones become extremely thin and brittle, making them vulnerable to breakage. The second of these was that the skeleton actually solidifies, eventually forming one solid bone skeleton, rending movement useless. Many have been confused as to how these could happen and much research has gone into it. The end results have found that the key cause is adrenaline. Too much adrenaline built up over a short amount of time stems the flow of the much-needed substances that keeps bones strong, therefore weakening the bones. However not enough adrenaline seems to have the opposite effect - the strengthening becomes over-active and rapidly produces the ceramic based chemicals, solidifying the skeleton.

Solutions are being devised for this curse that the Chapter has. One of which, being more common, is the heavy use of bionics. Bones that become brittle and break are removed and replaced with bionics. A rather high ratio of Space Marines in the Lords Chapter have at least one bone replaced by bionics. This high ratio has been aided by the Chapter's good ties with the AdMech, despite that it was the AdMech that gave the Chapter it's curse.
Another solution is for the opposite effects. Those whose skeletons harden can't have the effect reversed, so they have their limbs amputated and are implanted into dreadnoughts. In extreme cases the marine is terminated as the Chapter can find no way to help him.
The Lords are seeking out a cure to help control the levels of adrenaline in a marine's body at any time and hope that the AdMech can help them come up with the tech to create a device that can do such a task. In the mean time the Chapter has worked on a system to help keep control. Marines in battle will continuously swap around. Any not in combat are are regularly exercising and keeping their adrenaline levels.

Combat Doctrine

The Lords have been somewhat restricted by their curse on their combat doctrine, so the Chapter has had to rethink its strategies. Their current tactics revolve around acting as one unit and a large use of heavy fire to destroy their foes, utilising the whirlwinds and devastator squads to their maximum. Other heavy vehicle such as the Landraider and Vindicator also add to the barrage that the Lords launch upon the enemy. However this hasn't come without a cost. Due to the structural problems of the marines, those who operate the vehicles or the heavy weapons are either Chapter serfs or by marines who are believed to have the better side of the curse. Drop-pods are often neglected and very rarely used, due to the danger of the occupants' skeletons shattering upon landing.

The Chapter also makes frequent use of the 11th Company in assaults, often used to finish off the enemy or to cause the first major blow. Dreadnoughts are also used frequently, many of which given close-comabt weaponry to fight the enemy in combat. They are predominatly spread out throughout the 10 Companies to offer the best chance for each one to enter a battle. Because of their curse there is a higher amount of dreads within the Chapter than normal.

Organisation

The Chapter strength of the Lords varies heavily, depending on how many Marines die from their curse, mainly from battles. At the current time the Chapter is almsot at full strength, due to the fact that they haven't been in battle. because of the curse, the Chapter has a major diasvantage when trying to restore itself to full strength. As such it takes the Chapter ages to gain back the number of marines of that they lost. The Chapter has had to make tough decisions. Whenever it suffers from losses, big or small, the Lords decide to prostpone battling until they have recovered. Sometimes this lasts for centuries, and this has ocurred on more than one account. This has raised even more questions about the Chapter within the Inquisition on whether the Lords should be kept alive. No-one has raised this issue fully as of yet, however the Inquisition is watching the Lords with more scrutiny because of it.

The Lords abide by the Codex Astartes, sticking to it's teachings thoroughly. They have the standard 10 Companies that most Chapters have, however an 11th Company has been formed, designated as the "Damned". This Company is lead by one of the few dreadnoughts with the Chapter and is often deployed first. The company itself is split into 10 seperate squads and spread around the other Companies within the Chapter. This is because the 11th Company has been formally designated as the "Company of the Weak" - the brothers that suffer worst from the curse. In most cases those Marines suffer from the brittle bone structure than the solid bone fault. The 11th Company is used more frequently than the other Companies, often taking the brunt of attacks when defending.

Beliefs

The Lords believe that the Emperor is the pinnacle in Humanity and that none can outclass him. It is often percieved by some Marines that they aspire to be as great as him, by echoing a trait of the Emperor that is important to them. The general concensus within the CHapter is that they are not failures because of the curse that has plagued them from the very start. Each Marine feels that they are not weak and that they have something to prove to the Imperium and other CHapters; that they are just as great as any other Chapter that exists. This drives the Lords to fight harder and show more strength in a fight, just to prove they are indeed battle-effective.

From this, combined with the effects fo the curse, has created friction within the Chapter. Neglegance is shown to the weak and feeble, mainly those affected the worst by the curse. Those who are replaced by fresher Marines and moved to the "Damned" Company. These Marines aren't treated as fairly as other Marines due to the fact that they cannot prove their worth and in turn fail the Chapter. They are often left in this Company, destined for a swift death on the battlefield. There have been cases where a Marine is entombed in a dreadnought or reinstated to a Company if he shows he is still worthy. In extreme cases however, marines have been terminated quietly as they cannot perfrom in battle any longer, even in a dreadnought.

A recent trend has become apparent within the Chapter with very little explination. In recent battles some have documented spotting Chaplains and Commanders wearing skulls over their helms. Rumours have spread around about the purpose of this. Some believe that it creates a mental image that is said to induce fear into the enemy; some think that it gives them extra protection on their head to prevent injury; a few have said it's to replace their human skull once it breaks. However no-one but the Chapter knows it's true reasons, but even then it's hazy.

Battlecry

Although the Chapter is affected heavily by it's curse, they feel that they are still as good as any Chapter. Often the battlecry "We Shall Prove Our Worth" is echoed around the battlefield, as a sign that the CHapter will prove that they are still equal and not hampered in any way

Edited by Hubernator, 15 August 2009 - 06:51 PM.


QUOTE (StrangeGuy @ Jan 28 2010, 02:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jonny the Space Marine)
-Don't like Vampires. If they "sparkle" though, my wife and 2 daughters just may take up 40K!

Vampires don't sparkle!!!! *ragefilledheadexplosion*

#2
Commissar Molotov

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I can't say I'm enthralled by them thus far. It's not especially easy to identify any extant themes. You say "steel over flesh" but then you seem to hurriedly rush to tone it down - but then you say most Marines have bionics? I'm a little lost. It seems there that you're trying to have your cake and eat it.

Aside from that, if they're twenty-first founding, what's their curse? It would seem to be the defining point of your Chapter, yet it's not present yet.


EDIT: I'm still lost why people feel the need to "find" mysterious caches of terminator armour all the time!

Edited by Commissar Molotov, 08 August 2008 - 01:23 PM.

 
QUOTE (voi shet magir @ May 31 2011, 05:38 AM) 
That is an unexpectedly strong assertion from a dead person.

#3
Hubernator

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The bionics are mostly for the marines that lose organs or limbs. Some deliberately get limbs removed just to get the bionics.

As for the Founding, I ashamely forgot about it :D I just thought of an idea - bone deterioration. Their skeletons become horribly weak and brittle, often breaking during battles. The bionics were incorporated to replace the broken bones.
The Founding I'll reconsider, mainly because I forgot about that it was a Cursed Founding :D

EDIT: the high number of termies was a sort-of extra. I can easily remove it.

Edited by Hubernator, 08 August 2008 - 01:31 PM.


QUOTE (StrangeGuy @ Jan 28 2010, 02:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jonny the Space Marine)
-Don't like Vampires. If they "sparkle" though, my wife and 2 daughters just may take up 40K!

Vampires don't sparkle!!!! *ragefilledheadexplosion*

#4
Commissar Molotov

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That's a tricky idea. Certainly a very debilitating "curse". The Space Marines have an organ known as the Ossmodula - its purpose is to strengthen a Marine's bones. Space Marines are given ceramic-based chemicals as part of their diet, and these are absorbed by the Ossmodula. The result is that a Marine has incredibly strong long-bones and the rib-cage becomes a mass of inter-laced bone plates. It also means that a Space Marine grows a lot larger.

The Ossmodula is the second organ to be implanted, after the Secondary Heart. It's early enough for Apothecaries to note when something's going wrong. I seem to recall an excerpt from the Third Edition Marine Codex where an Apothecary wrote of a Marine whose skeleton grew so large so quickly that it tore his musculature apart, killing him. If you're saying that a Marine has brittle-bones, it would make him almost incapable of prosecuting war. There's several angles you could go with that, from removing the Marines from the battle-Companies to killing them. Bionic implantation is certainly useful, but you'd end up having to replace almost every bone. (Draw your own comparisons with the Thousand Sons...) The Adeptus Mechanicus would almost certainly step in to 'liquidate' this Chapter.

I can certainly see such a curse resulting in a Chapter with a very distinctive "look" - callipers and other such reinforced supports on Power Armour - but I'm not sure if it wouldn't make the Chapter utterly ineffective in combat. Think of all we know about Marines - all the depictions of them leaping over obstacles, of engaging in hand-to-hand combat for a week without stopping - would this Chapter be able to do any of that?

If you're suggesting a Chapter with a non-functional Ossmodula, then that's somewhat different. Though fragile by the standards of a Space Marine, their bones would be the equivalent of a normal human. It's doubtful, though - they'd need to fit a number of organs within a normal-sized human skeleton, which would be tricky. They'd be smaller, weaker and the like.

The thing with a Cursed Founding Chapter is that you want a Curse, but you don't want necessarily want the Chapter to be crippled.

Edited by Commissar Molotov, 08 August 2008 - 01:43 PM.

 
QUOTE (voi shet magir @ May 31 2011, 05:38 AM) 
That is an unexpectedly strong assertion from a dead person.

#5
Hubernator

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Very true. I think for brittle bones the idea could revolve around a certain point in a Marine's life when the bones just slowly begin to deteriorate. I wasn't thinking of it happening straight away as, like you said, they'd become ineffective and unable to fight, which I'm not after. It could be a subtle level of deterioration, so that their bones become weaker than normal. In some cases it could continue to become weak until it almost disappears.

The Ossmodula organ I could play into effect - it is malfunctioning rather than fails to work. I could say that it begins to fail after some time, causing the bones to begin deteriorating.

QUOTE (StrangeGuy @ Jan 28 2010, 02:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jonny the Space Marine)
-Don't like Vampires. If they "sparkle" though, my wife and 2 daughters just may take up 40K!

Vampires don't sparkle!!!! *ragefilledheadexplosion*

#6
Commissar Molotov

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That seems to be based upon fallacious logic - that without an ossmodula, a Marine's bones will deteriorate. Is there any fluff to suggest that a Marine needs to constantly strengthen his bones throughout his life? I'm not sure that something like Osteogenesis Imperfecta would work here, but you could perhaps look at something like Osteonecrosis.*

You're still seeming to suggest a situation in which your Veterans (and elder Marines, Captains, etc.) eventually become utterly unable to fight. That's quite worrying, really. And yes, you could use bionics to replace the bones, but eventually you'd have to replace every single bone - even the skull.


EDIT: Well, it would seem Osteomalacia has some of the symptoms you suggest, but it's still awkward trying to discern how Space Marines could develop such a condition.

Edited by Commissar Molotov, 08 August 2008 - 02:07 PM.

 
QUOTE (voi shet magir @ May 31 2011, 05:38 AM) 
That is an unexpectedly strong assertion from a dead person.

#7
Hubernator

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I have no idea whether there is fluff or not on whether Marine's need to maintain their bone strength or not. I would assume so since the organ processes material that improves bone strength.

The idea I'll really think over. I think bone deterioration is a good idea but I think working out the specifics will help clear things up. of course I have options:
- full deterioration, skeletons break down after X years
- part deterioration, bones reduced so they're weaker than bones of other marines.
- a few of the bones deteriorate to the point of bionic replacement. In rare cases all the bones in the body are effected.

QUOTE (StrangeGuy @ Jan 28 2010, 02:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jonny the Space Marine)
-Don't like Vampires. If they "sparkle" though, my wife and 2 daughters just may take up 40K!

Vampires don't sparkle!!!! *ragefilledheadexplosion*

#8
Brother Cambrius

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Decimators you say? They wouldn't be successors from my bunch perhaps? :tu:

Cambrius

#9
Hubernator

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Maaaaaaybeeeeee... :)

Anyway, what are your thoughts Cambrius?? :)

QUOTE (StrangeGuy @ Jan 28 2010, 02:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jonny the Space Marine)
-Don't like Vampires. If they "sparkle" though, my wife and 2 daughters just may take up 40K!

Vampires don't sparkle!!!! *ragefilledheadexplosion*

#10
Octavulg

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Chapter - The Imperial Decimators


Name's weak. The Imperial Anything usually is (Imperial Fists notwithstanding), and Cambrius already has his Decimators to boot.

* 21st Founding


A Cursed Founding chapter is all about their Curse. It consumes them, becomes them, and they are it, even if they don't suffer from it individually.

* suggested to be IH heritage
* "metal over flesh" idea, however not as serious as IH. Only used when parts of body are damaged beyond repair - bionics


So they use bionics like normal marines do?

How unique..</sarcasm>

* lots of termies - lucky find of termi armour


Get your own gimmick. This one's taken. :rolleyes:

* lack of Dreads as most marines have bionics instead


Dreads are made from marines who are beyond the assistance of bionics.

* homeworld = Orako VI, part of a system of 6 planets. Semi arid. Vast canyons covering 60% of land. Few oceans. 4 Continents - Harroh, Krii, Forcaa and "The Wastelands". Harroh:- plains, few mountains. Krii:- Canyons and rivers mainly, few mountain ranges. Forcaa:- rivers and few deep canyons, most arid. "The Wastelands":- once was called Yavo, decimated by nids during splinter fleet attack, land is now barren place full of mutated creatures.


Mostly extraneous. What is important is the people.

Proud author of the Ice Lords, the Bronze Prophets, the Stone Hearts, the Steel Dogs and the The Marines Tenebric.

The Octaguide - Your very long guide to very long IAs

Help me update the Big Liber Timeline!

"Wake up. Pray. Train. Pray. Drop screaming through the atmosphere from low orbit into a raging battlefield, and take the fight to enemies that may outnumber us by as little as three to one. Do battle with the most horrific enemies of mankind imaginable and charge into lines of weapons that could shred a tank into ribbons. Afterward, lunch, time permitting." - Marshal Arturas, 15/05/08


#11
Hubernator

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Is that a general thumbs down from you Octy? Because it sounds like it lol

If it's really bad I'll change it all.



(PS: Big thanks to Heru for shooting the IA down as well :rolleyes:)

QUOTE (StrangeGuy @ Jan 28 2010, 02:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jonny the Space Marine)
-Don't like Vampires. If they "sparkle" though, my wife and 2 daughters just may take up 40K!

Vampires don't sparkle!!!! *ragefilledheadexplosion*

#12
Heru

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Is that a general thumbs down from you Octy? Because it sounds like it lol

If it's really bad I'll change it all.



(PS: Big thanks to Heru for shooting the IA down as well :P)

Check your PMs for a more detailed reply.
My Chapters (Blue) & Traitors (Red):
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#13
Hubernator

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Yeah I just did. Now check yours :P

Anyway, I think it's fair to say I messed this one up bad. Que Mod to put this thread to rest while I sit down and have a good think.

QUOTE (StrangeGuy @ Jan 28 2010, 02:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jonny the Space Marine)
-Don't like Vampires. If they "sparkle" though, my wife and 2 daughters just may take up 40K!

Vampires don't sparkle!!!! *ragefilledheadexplosion*

#14
Octavulg

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Honestly, the fact that you're so willing to completely change your ideas is a symptom of a deeper problem.

Frankly, if you're so loosely attached to those ideas, you really shouldn't be putting them in. Write something you care about, dammit. :unsure:

Proud author of the Ice Lords, the Bronze Prophets, the Stone Hearts, the Steel Dogs and the The Marines Tenebric.

The Octaguide - Your very long guide to very long IAs

Help me update the Big Liber Timeline!

"Wake up. Pray. Train. Pray. Drop screaming through the atmosphere from low orbit into a raging battlefield, and take the fight to enemies that may outnumber us by as little as three to one. Do battle with the most horrific enemies of mankind imaginable and charge into lines of weapons that could shred a tank into ribbons. Afterward, lunch, time permitting." - Marshal Arturas, 15/05/08


#15
Hubernator

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No offence, but ever notice how it's so damn hard to impress you Octy? :unsure: That miiiight have something to do with it :)

And frankly, I like to impress (show off :P). If I can't I try again. And you are one hard person to impress :P

QUOTE (StrangeGuy @ Jan 28 2010, 02:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jonny the Space Marine)
-Don't like Vampires. If they "sparkle" though, my wife and 2 daughters just may take up 40K!

Vampires don't sparkle!!!! *ragefilledheadexplosion*

#16
Octavulg

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You shouldn't be writing this to impress. You should be writing this to convey an idea you like and want to develop.

Proud author of the Ice Lords, the Bronze Prophets, the Stone Hearts, the Steel Dogs and the The Marines Tenebric.

The Octaguide - Your very long guide to very long IAs

Help me update the Big Liber Timeline!

"Wake up. Pray. Train. Pray. Drop screaming through the atmosphere from low orbit into a raging battlefield, and take the fight to enemies that may outnumber us by as little as three to one. Do battle with the most horrific enemies of mankind imaginable and charge into lines of weapons that could shred a tank into ribbons. Afterward, lunch, time permitting." - Marshal Arturas, 15/05/08


#17
Hubernator

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Mmmmm... but so far I've got nought considering what I had is shredded to pieces. Frankly I don't like where this is going. I'm gonna start over.

QUOTE (StrangeGuy @ Jan 28 2010, 02:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jonny the Space Marine)
-Don't like Vampires. If they "sparkle" though, my wife and 2 daughters just may take up 40K!

Vampires don't sparkle!!!! *ragefilledheadexplosion*

#18
Eiric Hakon

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Hmmm....well crashed and burned isn't the word's I'd use....

If you make them obsesed with removing their curse (with bionics), if you keep them as the Cursed Founding, I could see this chapter working. But, it would realy help if you said the Geneseed is unknown, or at least not IH.

Oh and I would remove the idea of lots of Terminator Armour. Either remove it or realy develop the idea of them using/creating as much wargear of the best sort to compensate for their weakness.

If their bones are weak wouldn't it make thm think they are weak in general? Even with all the compensation they try wouldn't they feel like failures? Just a thought to make the chapter more 3D.
If anyone has any of the articles and tutorials on painting and modelling from the Game Workshop site before the update please PM me!

#19
Hubernator

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Good points there Eirik, even though others pointed them out more violently :)

I've decided that I shall press on with these guys. No point quitting now. Dropping the extra termies and some other stuff. Might start from scratch (said 3 times now and still haven't done it :))

QUOTE (StrangeGuy @ Jan 28 2010, 02:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jonny the Space Marine)
-Don't like Vampires. If they "sparkle" though, my wife and 2 daughters just may take up 40K!

Vampires don't sparkle!!!! *ragefilledheadexplosion*

#20
Hubernator

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Made those changes. The extra termie armour has stayed :lol: I'm going with an earlier Founding this time, but not sure which. Some input will help :tu:

QUOTE (StrangeGuy @ Jan 28 2010, 02:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jonny the Space Marine)
-Don't like Vampires. If they "sparkle" though, my wife and 2 daughters just may take up 40K!

Vampires don't sparkle!!!! *ragefilledheadexplosion*

#21
brother natar

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So you are totally losing the curse thing, then? Shame, i wanted to see how you made that work (and had an idea on how to possibly justify it myself).

#22
Hubernator

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Yes, I was liking it but it was becoming a somewhat pain to make something out of it. I'll save it for another Chapter I think, or maybe bring it back. Who knows.


EDIT: OK, the Curse is staying. I like it alot. Termi numbers lowered too

Edited by Hubernator, 10 August 2008 - 04:44 PM.


QUOTE (StrangeGuy @ Jan 28 2010, 02:35 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
QUOTE (Jonny the Space Marine)
-Don't like Vampires. If they "sparkle" though, my wife and 2 daughters just may take up 40K!

Vampires don't sparkle!!!! *ragefilledheadexplosion*

#23
GhostLegion

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Im sorry...I dont think this curse is a viable one the chapter could overcome. Bone structure and strength is too important for any animal...much more a biped...for its degradation to allow the animal to survive for long. In the case of space marines, well you have too many ways for the bones to break, especially when weakened. Drop pods, for instance, massive g's of launch, reentry, decelleration and landing...this alone would likely shatter bones in this chapter. Even more basic, the musclature of the marines would likely break their bones before they went into combat. (we see this happen in the NFL...muscles contracting and breaking bones in practice. no impacts even, just muscle)

Though the idea of a curse is interesting...this one does not seem functional as it is currently written. Not to me anyway.

Now then. If you are set on weakening bones as a curse, why not just have the ossmodula fail completely after x number of years? Instead of being able to reinforce the bone structure with additional minerals and ceramite, the ossmodula is only able to enhance the size of inductees to the space marine size...beyond this it does not function at all.

I think this would leave the chapter functional, though cautious, and encourage the use of bionics to enhance/reinforce as you discuss/desire.

Maybe.
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#24
krieger haggoroth

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On the positive side, I'm in love with the color scheme. I've never said that before, so Kudos.

Seems to me the chapter would have LOTS of dreds, assuming you stick with the bone deterioration idea. It'd eventually get to the point where they'd have to be interred simply to operate.

Otherwise, like everyone else said. :P
When did it get so hot?

#25
brother natar

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Now then. If you are set on weakening bones as a curse, why not just have the ossmodula fail completely after x number of years? Instead of being able to reinforce the bone structure with additional minerals and ceramite, the ossmodula is only able to enhance the size of inductees to the space marine size...beyond this it does not function at all.


I would totally avoid doing this, if i were you. Why not make it so that the Ossomdula in some Space Marines, for some unknown reason, secrets some toxin that weakens the bones of the Marine? I think this is the most plausable idea, and also means that not every Marine would be renedered useless after X years. Going the otere way, with every Marines ossmodula packing up, means you would have many Chapter Masters, none of them ever experienced enough to hold the rank, no veterans, and no termies (veterans wear TDA, and also everyone's bones would be too brittle to hold the weight).

Using my 'unknown toxin' idea would also add some amount of depth, in my opinion. It would be sort of like the Black Rage is with Blood Angels, with Marines being suspicous about their comrades slowly becoming weaker, and fearing they will lose all power (with which, would, no doubt, come plenty of shame).

Edited by brother natar, 11 August 2008 - 02:22 AM.