Lord Howland Greywolf Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 Picture the scene, Calgar has called a meeting of the imperial forces (guard companies and other chapters) on a planet and is planning the next offencive Calgar: O.k. Lysander, you take your forces and hold up there left flank. Tycho, the right is inside the city so your blood angels should handle the close quartes. Shrike, you need to infiltrait behind there lines and stop them making a break for it. Commander Creed your cadians and the other guard regiments will bombard the front untill Grimnar and I reach the 200m mark in our trasports. We strike at nightfall, agreed? There are a series of affermitives and it is then that Calgar realises that somone is missing Calgar: Where in the name of the emperor is Grimnar? Logan:(from outside) Right, sharpen your blades and fire up the rhino's. Last one to bag a bad guy buys the beers. then comes the sound of a dozen Rhinos starting up and driving off into the distance Calgar: -_- Who needs tactics when you can just gao and hit them with somthing big and pointy? :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spacefrisian Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 Yeah why should Logan listen to a brat called Marneus "lol" although that one would suit Ragnar more i think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megalodon Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 LOL, that's funny as Heck! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barek Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 :P :pinch: Yeah!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muzzyman1981 Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 More like.... Calgar: O.k. Lysander, you take your forces and hold up there left flank. Tycho, the right is inside the city so your blood angels should handle the close quartes. Shrike, you need to infiltrait behind there lines and stop them making a break for it. Commander Creed your cadians and the other guard regiments will bombard the front untill Grimnar and I reach the 200m mark in our trasports. We strike at nightfall, agreed? There are a series of affermitives and it is then that Calgar realises that somone is missing Calgar: Where in the name of the emperor is Grimnar? Logan:(midst of battle) FOR RUSS AND THE ALL FATHER!! Ulrik: Where are the rest of the force? Logan: I don't know....something about making battleplans I think....PUP!, find me something decent to kill! (Blood Claw howls affirmative) Great story though =D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jarl Kjaran Coldheart Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 As cool as these stories are, I dont think Grimnar would snub Calgar so bluntly...he isnt the Inquisition. I see it more as: (and yes, i am copying Muzzy's dialouge cause i am lazy) Calgar: O.k. Lysander, you take your forces and hold up there left flank. Tycho, the right is inside the city so your blood angels should handle the close quartes. Shrike, you need to infiltrait behind there lines and stop them making a break for it. Commander Creed your cadians and the other guard regiments will bombard the front untill Grimnar and I reach the 200m mark in our trasports. We strike at nightfall, agreed? There are a series of affermitives and it is then that Calgar realises that battle is being waged, amid the cries of panic and howling of Wolves. Calgar: Where in the name of the emperor Grimnar? Logan: I came here to tell you all that I modified the battle plan..okay, totally changed it. My Wolves are currently sweeping the field. Do try and catch up. (Logan leaves the stunned silent room, where a Land Raider waits for its Lord) FOR RUSS AND THE ALLFATHER! Ulrik: Where are the rest of the force? Logan: I don't know....something about making battleplans I think....PUP!, find me something decent to kill! (Blood Claw howls affirmative) Wolf Lord Kieran Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ApolloSZ Posted August 27, 2008 Share Posted August 27, 2008 Figure it would be more of Marneus: Wheres Grimnar? Sees note left on Logans seat "Out to battl.... Lunch. Back in 15." Marneus: Sigh.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf89 Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 I would have figured something similar to Wolf Lord Kieran, but instead of still being in battle, the battle would have already been won, and they'd be at the meeting asking why they're holding a meeting about a battle that had already taken place. Leaving the rest of them awe-stricken. :P Either way you tell the tale (passing by word of mouth just like the stories of old there is bound to be alterations), it still leaves the same impression, Space Wolves "are so hard"! :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jarl Kjaran Coldheart Posted August 28, 2008 Share Posted August 28, 2008 Wolf89, i think the generosity of the Wolves would allow a FEW traitors to be killed by their support...i mean allies. all in the name of brotherhood of course ^_^ wolf lord kieran Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Araith Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Now how many variations can there be to this story? :lol: At current the note left behind remains my favourite. Calgar: O.k. Lysander, you take your forces and hold up there left flank. Tycho, the right is inside the city so your Blood Angels should handle the close quarters. Shrike, you need to infiltrate behind there lines and stop them making a break for it. Commander Creed your Cadians and the other guard regiments will bombard the front until Grimnar and I reach the 200m mark in our transports. We strike at nightfall, agreed? There are a series of affirmative and it is then that Calgar realises that battle is being waged, amid the cries of panic and howling of Wolves. Calgar: Where in the name of the Emperor is Grim- He pauses as he's interrupted by a vox servo skull that flies up and crackles on. Grimnar's voice can be discerned. Logan: We're a few hundred metres from the first hostile positions. Where are you guys? Calgar: What?! We're laying out the battle plan. Logan: ... Your loss! If you try to catch up in time you may have something left for you. Grimnar out. For a moment it's silent in the command centre. Calgar: In the Immortal Emperor's name, not again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Battle-Brother Wags Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Calgar: "Lysander, you take your forces against the left flank. Tycho, we expect resistance to be great inside the city, so your Blood Angels should be well suited in dealing with that threat.Shrike, position your forces behind the enemy to cut off any chance of escape then at my command, we'll squeeze them in a pincer move. Commander Creed, have your artillery hit the enemy lines with everything you've got until we're right on top of them. Don't give them a moment to orient themselves. The Great Wolf and I will lead the main assault and we'll all meet in the middle. We go at nightfall. Those are your orders, carry them ou-" Logan: "With all due respect, Lord Calgar, all this planning is unnecessary -" Calgar, glancing at the Great Wolf with more than a little irritation at his interruption: "Logan, your wolves are mighty in battle, but even the mightiest must form a sure battle plan before launching a major offensive, to do any less would be a waste of lives lost needlessly." Logan: "You speak truly, Lord Calgar, but what sense is there in establishing plans for a battle that has already been won?" Calgar: "Already been . . . ?" Logan: "Won, yes. This morning before breakfast, that is why I arrived late to this summit. We are having a small feast to celebrate the victory in one of my subordinate's battle barges, "The Big Bad," as soon as Commander Creed moves his men into position to hold the field of battle. If you and the other chapters would like to join us . . ." Calgar, having been leaning over the battlemap, stands to his full height, putting a gauntleted hand to his face, his powered fingers massaging his furrowed brow. Letting out a sigh: "Yes, Logan, we'll be there . . ." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spacefrisian Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 Would be funny if Calgar is explaining his plan and his Cell phone goes "for the emperor: ringtone. Logan saying: Dont know what you are doing their but we already cleared these guys up. You can do the cleaning up cause some ale is waiting for me. See ya later Lad. Tuut tuut tuut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf89 Posted September 1, 2008 Share Posted September 1, 2008 @ Battle-Brother Wags I'm pretty sure Calgar wouldn't call Logan "great wolf" as that's more of a Space Wolf thing to say and it'd be like calling Calgar "great commander" other than that I think I like your story the most, resembles mine a bit too. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Howland Greywolf Posted September 1, 2008 Author Share Posted September 1, 2008 you know what there should be. A page of just 40K jokes such as this. reply if you think this would be a good idea. switch over to the vahnilla page for marines and toothpaste. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Battle-Brother Wags Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 @ Battle-Brother Wags I'm pretty sure Calgar wouldn't call Logan "great wolf" as that's more of a Space Wolf thing to say and it'd be like calling Calgar "great commander" other than that I think I like your story the most, resembles mine a bit too. :lol: One of the greatest signs of respect between cultures is when you reach across the boundaries and use someone's own terminology. I think anyone in "the know" would never call Logan "commander" or even "master," they would call him "great wolf" as that is his title. And we both know that while other chapters may not understand us, we do, however, demand the utmost in respect *toothy grin* But thanks all the same for the compliment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max_Dammit Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Now my version :sweat: Calgar: O.k. Lysander, you take your forces and hold up there left flank. Tycho, the right is inside the city so your blood angels should handle the close quartes. Shrike, you need to infiltrait behind there lines and stop them making a break for it. Commander Creed The roar of a thunderhawk coming over head blods out all voices, Calgar looks irritated and continues: Commander Creed your cadians and the other guard regiments will bombard the front untill Grimnar and I reach the 200m mark in our transports. We strike at nightfall, agreed? The door swings open and Logan walks in, his armour coverd in blood and battle damage and says: You guys comming or what. Calgar: What, are the enemy atacking? Men to arms! Logan: No the Thunderhawk with Fenrisian ale has just landed and where having a victory calibration, where where you guys anyway? Logen walks out shouting: Move away pups, first tankard of ale for the great wolf Calgar: ................Well, lets get some ale than. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jarl Kjaran Coldheart Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 all of that is believable...except for calgar being able to drink our ale. we all know the boyscout would drink wine coolers. wolf lord kieran Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muzzyman1981 Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 I agree there should be a page just for jokies =D and thank you Wolf Brother Greywolf for letting us highjack your thread with our versions of your great joke =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ullr Direfang Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 i too think there should be a thread for jokes. i didn't put anything here... all the good ones seemed to have already been taken. but maybe if i think of something, i will make sure i put here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beef Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 you know in reality Logan would be in overall command not calgar. His age and wisdom would probably be only second to Dante. Look at the 13th black crusade, Logan was in overall command of the allies. So in actual fact it would be logan who would be telling and organising the others. Also he is not so reclass as to leave others standing while he runs of to fight, That might be something a younger wolf lord would do such as Ragnar, Also Everybody who Knows Logan know him as the Great Wolf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ApolloSZ Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Now how many variations can there be to this story? :P At current the note left behind remains my favourite. Woot, I got favourite'd... Now I know how an Internet page feels. Lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Malachi Posted September 2, 2008 Share Posted September 2, 2008 Calgar: In the Immortal Emperor's name, not again! Haha, that made me laugh :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Gabe Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 LOL! Great stories everyone, and there should be a thread for 40k jokes, that would be awsome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrazyIvan Posted September 3, 2008 Share Posted September 3, 2008 Lion El'Jonson: "What took you so long?" *hides* <3 Space Puppies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Howland Greywolf Posted September 3, 2008 Author Share Posted September 3, 2008 We were too busy killing all of those bad guys to race you. Stupid DA's, they're always goofing off on those fancy ravenwing bikes to concintrait on the battle at hand. :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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