Leethal Posted October 29, 2008 Author Share Posted October 29, 2008 Riiiiight....now I'm somewhat confused. Mainly by Malachi forgetting where the Pit is. You take a left from the throne room. As your lord and savior, I have deemed it fit that your cries of mercy have been enough. Therefore, I will post Season Finale tomorrow. And the Halloween Special on the 31st. Now today is the 29th. Let's watch you get all antsy in your pantsy. Plus, my tournies over, so I can focus on writing again ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Malachi Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Sorry sir, I'll put some signs up so I don't forget again. Looking forward to tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCC Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 This thread is now officially on life support ;) In addition to a number of edits made by Librarium staff earlier this week and today I've just deleted near enough 20 posts of complete and utter dross. The Liber Comminiscor exists so that B&C members have somewhere to share their writing and to receive feedback and constructive criticism. It is not a tucked away little club house where the rules of the B&C do not apply and people can, frankly, dick about. We don't object to people having a good time on the forums, after all that's what they're here for but the line has been repeatedly crossed in this thread and this will not be tolerated any further. Add to this the fact that this thread barely fits within the definition of what the LC is here for and it's treading very thin ice. From here on all posts in this topic will be on topic and will obey all the precepts of the Bolter & Chainsword and the spirit of the Liber Comminiscor forum. Any transgressions will result in the closure of this thread and it's sister. So, if you want to see how the story ends I'd suggest you all re-read the Rules and behave accordingly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leethal Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 Author's Note: While I do appreciate the love and fanboy/girl-ism, let's try to tone it down now :) If not for me, for the Mods. Second Author's Note: I apparently mistracked my roughdrafts, and apparently, this wasn't supposed to the finale....but, I promised you all a finale, so I just tacked the last two episodes into one made of win and awesome. At least...I hope. *Yawn* The Halloween Special...I'm fairly certain that I won't have time on Friday to actually post it, so I'll be having a few words with someone about what to do with that one. Deathwatch: The Series! Every Hour, on the Hour! Written by Leethal of B&C Updates: Whenever I feel like it! Thought of the Day: "Deathkoptas! Do a barrel roll!" -Last words of Crimson Fist Space Marine Bob. BOOM! Raka Thunderhoof: Get up! Move! Collect the wounded! Into the conveniently placed building! Iruel: Pollux! Grab Raziel! Hurin! Wake you drunk puppy! Hurin Bloodfang: Go [bleep]...your...self... Iruel: No! Come on! Get up! We need to move! We need to get out of the streets! Skarr Blackfeather: Hee hee hee! The Emperor opens his arms! Julius Raseac: Apothecary! I appear to be missing my leg! Iruel: Hurin get inside! Oh daaaaaaaaayum. Julius are you okay? Julius Raseac: Tis but a flesh wound. Iruel: You lost your leg you senseless git! I'm going to drag you into the building alright? Julius Raseac: But it's only a flesh wound..... Iruel: Stop whining! Who's the doctor here?! Stern Howzer: Are you even licensed? Iruel: Who cares?! This is the 41st Millenium, what do you care if I'm licensed or not?! Stern Howzer: Well, if I got shot, I would feel more safe if you had a medical license... Iruel: Shutup and cover me! Stern Howzer: Pfft...Blood Angels, you try to be nice and they bite your head off. *Click* Stern Howzer: Reloading! Skarr Blackfeather: I'll cover you! Jumps on top of Stern Stern Howzer: What?! Get off me! What are you doing?! Shoot them! Nevermind! Run! Inside the building Skarr Blackfeather: E hee hee hee hee! Raka Thunderhoof: What the hell is wrong with him? Iruel: I'd guess a really bad concussion? That or he snapped. I mean his Primarch snapped, why not him? Skarr Blackfeather: Hee hee hee! The Emperor calls! Hee hee hee! Iruel: Anyways, Raziel's slowly dying, Julius lost his leg, Skarr's....gone crazy. So we have 3 wounded. BOOM! Ferrus Pollux: Aaaah! Iruel: Four. Stern drags Pollux in Raka Thunderhoof: What happened? Ferrus Pollux: They shot me with an Autocannon! Iruel: Are you alright?! Ferrus Pollux: Yeah, it just bounced off my bionic. Iruel: Then why did you scream? Ferrus Pollux: Can you take a tank shell to the chest and NOT scream? Exactly. Shut the hell up. Elsewhere Hurin Bloodfang: Julius how's the leg? Julius Raseac: It's missing idiot. How do you think it the leg is?! Hurin Bloodfang: What has teeth, two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Flashes a smile and gives two thumbs up Hurin Bloodfang: Me, nice to meet cha. Julius Raseac: . . . . . . . . . I hate you. Hurin Bloodfang: Hey dress wearing girl. Raziel: Go...screw...yourself... Hurin Bloodfang: Ah, you're alive then. How are you? Raziel: Good...enough....to...beat....you...pupp. Hurin Bloodfang: This turned rather serious didn't it? Raziel: Hah! Nonsense...this is...*cough* fun....like...arm wrestling...a...guards...man... Hurin Bloodfang: Sure mate, sure. Oh before I leave. What's your kill count? Raziel: Eight thousand, six hundred, twenty three. Hurin Bloodfang: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! Raziel: Yeah, you know...SOME...Space Marines...kill stuff...instead...of...drinking...all day... Hurin Bloodfang: Oh this isn't fair. I'm behind! I'll be out there killing stuff! Hurin leaves the room, and doo doo let's see what the others are doing Ferrus Pollux: Why aren't they shooting? Stern Howzer: Perhaps they think we're holding someone hostage? Raka Thunderhoof: Now, why the bloody hell would they think that? Hurin Bloodfang: Hey guys! What do I do with this one? *Holds squealing Xenogen scum* Lelith: Let me go ruffian! Raka Thunderhoof: You can speak English?! Err...I mean Gothic!? Lelith: Yes, I most certainly can. Do you take me as a barbarian? I am the Crown Prince! Unhand me knave! Ferrus Pollux: Oh this is excellent. Raka do you think what I'm thinking? Raka Thunderhoof: Yes, but where are we going to get a golf ball, a car battery, and whip cream on this planet? Ferrus Pollux: Uhh......what? Raka Thunderhoof: Oh, I'm sorry. Read the wrong person's mind. Oh, and Iruel....you're a sick freak. Anyways, back to the plan. Alright xenos! Tell them to drop their weapons or we'll show you to Mister Chainsword! Lelith: Mister....Chainsword? Hurin revs a chainsword in the Lelith's face Lelith: AHH! Okay okay! Stop stop! Raka Thunderhoof: Hold him Pollux. If he tries to run, break him and drag him back. Ferrus Pollux: We haven't been introduced properly. *Raises hands* This is Cera(mite) and this is Adam(antianium). Get the picture? They're very choppy. Lelith: Yes! don't kill me! Iruel: Out you go. Lots of gunfire, Pollux comes back in the room holding scraps of Xenos Raka Thunderhoof: What the hell?! Ferrus Pollux: Either their trigger fingers are feelin frisky, or they want us dead. Raka Thunderhoof: That's disconcerning. Hurin, get on the vox. Raise the Guard. Iruel, chances of survival of the wounded? Iruel: The wounded? Oh, umm...I don't know? I'm not a damn doctor! Raka Thunderhoof: But you are an apothecary! Iruel: Do you know what apothecary means in Gothic? It means guy who isn't squeamish around blood. Raka Thunderhoof: Remind me not to get shot. Iruel: I'll try. But, we can move them. Slowly. Veeeeeeeeeeeeeery slowly. Hurin Bloodfang: We're being jammed. It's no good. Stern Howzer: We're low on ammo, we have one krak missile left, and there's two tanks, and roughly two hundred angry aliens outside. And more keep showing up. Ferrus Pollux: Sir, it looks like they're going to charge, and eat our bodies. Raka Thunderhoof: Why not blast the damn building? What's so important about this building? Leethal: Nothing. I'm the writer, and for some reason beyond me. I need a better ending than, "A tank blew up all the Space Marines, The End." So...yeah. Raka Thunderhoof: .....You're a horrible person. Leethal: Prove it. Anyways, after you die, I'm going to need your corpse. Raka Thunderhoof: ....You scare me. Ferrus Pollux: Sir! They're coming! Iruel: Hang on! Wait...who has a close combat weapon? Raka Thunderhoof: I have a force ....glove. Iruel: What the hell's a force glove? Raka Thunderhoof: Look, I lost my Force Sword, will you shut up? Damn! Can't a man be incompetant once in a while? Leethal: Useless....Here. *A Bunch of Relic Blades, Storm Shields appear out of nowhere. The Power Armor transforms into Artificer Armor* Ferrus Pollux: Oh [bleep] yeah! Raka Thunderhoof: Bring up the wounded! We will die like heroes! No matter how [bleep]ing unlikely that will be now! Iruel: What?! You want the wounded to fight? Actually, that's a good idea! I'll go get them. Raka Thunderhoof: Mmm....Strength 6 Force Weapon goodness...hmmm...Wait. I'm missing a wound...and...I feel slower... Leethal: Yeah...Blame 5th Edition Codex. Anyways, you might want to kill those things getting in the room. I may be unkillable, but you aren't. Iruel: For the bloody Emperor! Wait! I'm having a vision! Sanguinuis! NO!!! HORUS YOU BASTARD!! AAAAAAAAAH! Raka Thunderhoof: What the hell?! Ferrus Pollux: The Black Rage! Oh no! He's overpowered! Str 6, power weapon, rending, Feel no Pain, 2+/3+, furious charge and aaaaah! The Cheese!! It's flowing into the room! Stern Howzer: Let's DO THIS! HOOO-AH! *Splat* Raka Thunderhoof: Did his face just explode?! Hurin Bloodfang: Shut up and fight! Theology and talking later! Much bashing, fighting, biting, slicing, dicing, cutting, uppercutting, later Ferrus Pollux: Heh, those Xenos were squishy. Hurin Bloodfang: Yes. They are too squishy like the squishy toy, they lack much badass. And I only killed one... Raka Thunderhoof: Killstealing Blood Angel! Ferrus Pollux: Yeah, anyways, Stern's face is half gone. Why is that? Hurin Bloodfang: How the bloody hell would I know? Raka Thunderhoof: Then...I think....I mastered it.... Ferrus Pollux: Mastered what? Raka Thunderhoof: Spontaneous Explosion! Hurin Bloodfang: ...Why did you blow off his face then? Raka Thunderhoof: I'm BS4 ....I CANT HIT ANYTHING! Ferrus Pollux: We're BS4.... Raka Thunderhoof: I used to be BS5! I'm having a hard time adjusting! Leave me alone! Hurin Bloodfang: Another Charge! Raka Thunderhoof: Prepare for MORTAL COMBAT! Raziel: FOR THE EMPEROR! *Runs outside with 29 Meltabombs strapped to his body* Raka Thunderhoof: GET THE [bleep] DOWN! Big shiny, white, flashing big explosion going BOOM![/b] Hurin Bloodfang: NO! Raka Thunderhoof: It's okay, he died to save us. Hurin Bloodfang: He destroyed all the Xenos! That punk! Raka Thunderhoof: Yes, he also destroyed you. Hurin Bloodfang: What are you talking about? I feel perfectly fine!.....where the hell are my legs? And arms...I'm a talking head aren't I? Raka Thunderhoof: Mmm....yes. Hurin Bloodfang: ....Damn Dark Angel. TEAM KILLER! *dies* Ferrus Pollux: Sir...... Raka Thunderhoof: What. Ferrus Pollux: Tank shock. Raka Thunderhoof: Don't fear, you have Leadership 10. *Rolls dice* Ferrus Pollux: Huh, double 6's. It was nice knowing you. Raka Thunderhoof: Yes, I will avenge you. I cast....VORTEX OF DOOM! *Rolls dice* ...Double 6's!? NOOOOO------ Skarr Blackfeather: Hee hee! Julius Raseac: How dare you laugh at your commander's demise?! Unless.... Skarr Blackfeather: Hee hee hee! Julius Raseac: YOU ARE POSSESSED BY CHAOS! *Blam* Now you are not. Now....I must drag myself to the extraction zone. A lone figure drags himself into the sunset Fan: What the hell kind of crappy ending was this? Leethal: It isn't! :o It's a trap! Fan: What do you mean great one?! :P Leethal: It's all a dream........ Fan: Really? So they aren't all dead? Leethal: Oh, no those guys are dead. Fan: Then...what.? I'm confused. Leethal: Exactly.......I am an Agent of CHAOS! :P Just as planned...Actually...screw this. *Cliffhanger* Julius Raseac, Raka Thunderhoof, Skarr Blackfeather, Iruel, Hurin Bloodfang, Ferrus Pollux, Stern Howzer, Pio Furnac and Raziel are hanging off a cliff. Raka Thunderhoof: ....So I escaped death...to hang off this cliff again. Wonderful. Ferrus Pollux: Is this heaven or hell? Pio Furnac: You guys left my body. You know rats at my body right? Skarr Blackfeather: I hate you all. All of you. Raziel: What kind of asshattery is this? Iruel: What kind of ending is this... JvD: Here's a question. Why the hell am I here? I was with my harem................. Raka Thunderhoof: You have a harem? JvD: Yes, and I was very happy there. Julius Raseac: Hey guys, what's that Mansion down there? Hurin Bloodfang: Maybe it's a pub? Leethal: It's the Halloween Special. I revived you all. Raka Thunderhoof: REally? thank you! Leethal: Yes...so I could kill you all again. Pio Furnac: ....Can I go back to being dead? Leethal: No. Pio Furnac: Can I not die by plasma this time then? Leethal: No. Pio Furnac: Well then, you suck. Fan: Why am I hanging off a cliff?! Leethal: Do not question me! I have to do a test right now. *Turns off Laptop* Raka Thunderhoof: Sooooo....anyone see a good movie lately? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Malachi Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Haha, love the ending. How can julius be the last to die though? :o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pulse Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Lol i got a confused for a sec with all the dying and maiming, i liked it. <_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hubernator Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 :lol: very funny. The ending was... interesting :P Nice one Leethal :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaplian Silkor Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Excellent work Leethal keep it up ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FearTheReaper Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 you still need someone to say "My blood, he punched out ALL my blood!!!!!!!!!!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peej Posted November 2, 2008 Share Posted November 2, 2008 Leethal i love this, i cant wait for more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
son of macragge Posted November 2, 2008 Share Posted November 2, 2008 great update leethal, liked how julius was the last man standing(so to speak) also methinks you might be a scrubs fan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leethal Posted November 4, 2008 Author Share Posted November 4, 2008 Update to be up after I go buy some Robitussin...and take a nap. Halloween was too crazy...ughh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pulse Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 Update damn you! :cuss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leethal Posted November 4, 2008 Author Share Posted November 4, 2008 Deathwatch: The Series! Halloween Special: A Few Days Late...I'm not perfect... Written by Leethal of B&C Update: Whenever I feel like it! Thought of the Day: "When in doubt, the bolt pistol goes in your mouth." -The Secret Rule of Chaplains. M32.945 M30.111 - 939: Imperial Forces attack the Ahn Xenos Race. Dumping the xenos corpses into a lake. Ahn Remnants construct a temple over the lake. M38: Imperial Guardsman Jax and Pol along with their Regiment take over the temple. Looting the valuables and razing it to th ground. The Planetary Governor's mansion was later constructed on top of it. At some point in the 38th Millennium, all communication is lost with the planet. M41.500~ : Inquisition Forces under the command of Inquisitor Bobo disappear in the surrounding area. M41.666: Ordos Xenos sends a Deathwatch Kill Team to investigate. Much screaming and death on last Vox transmission. Now: Inquisitor Jun Von Drummond and his Kill Team fall off a cliff and land near the lake. They make their way towards the Mansion. Leethal laughs at their demise. Wait...what? Disembodied Voice: Greetings. Nice to see that you have all...."Dropped" in. *Snicker* Jun von Drummond: Screw you! I was with my harem! Disembodied Voice: That is of no consequence. Nonetheless, let's play a game. You Inquisitors like playing games with other people's lives, so let's play a game with yours....and your Kill Team. Now, you have all been poisoned with a venom. The antidote is somewhere inside this derelict Mansion. JvD: ...I don't want to play! Disembodied Voice: Buzz! Wrong answer! JvD gets eaten by a Carnifex Disembodied Voice: Now how about you others? Raka Thunderhoof: umm...I'd rather not get eaten by a Carnifex... Julius: I HAVE MY LIMBS BACK! Disembodied Voice: For now Smurf. For now...now. Go play my game, or I'll feed you to my Carnifex. Go now! Later in the jungles Raka Thunderhoof: A jungle deathworld. My, that's original. Pio Furnac: Can I burn it? Raka Thunderhoof: Form up. Patrol formation. 3 Meter intervals, helmets on, safeties off, booze away, and open those holsters. Pio Furnac: I can't see why I couldn't bring my flamer. Ferrus Pollux: Okay first off, we're in a jungle investigating a giant wooden house. I rather die fighting, not burning surrounded by more burning stuff caused by a pyromaniac. Raka Thunderhoof: Silence. Stern take point. Stern Howzer: You mean, take Sniper Bait. Raka Thunderhoof: Sniper bait, point, what's the difference. Raziel take the rear. Let's move out. The Kill Team enter the jungles Hurin Bloodfang: This is stupid. Why couldn't we just use a Droppod? Raziel: Over a lake? Yeah, that's smart. Plus, we fell from a cliff, thank the Emperor we're not dead. Hurin Bloodfang: For your information, it's called swimming. Ferrus Pollux: It's called drowning like a retard. Raka Thunderhoof: Could you guys NOT fight for ONE bloody second?! Thank you! Stern Howzer: Movement. Raka Thunderhoof: Where? Stern Howzer: Somewhere ahead. Raka Thudnerhoof: It's quiet....too quiet.... Stern Howzer: DOWN! *BOOM* Raka Thunderhoof: Return fire! Raziel: Pincer movement! Pio! Plasma now! Raka Thunderhoof: Skarr, Hurin with me! Charge! Gunfire stops Hurin Bloodfang: That's where the shooting came from...that bunker... Skarr Blackfeather: Cover me, I'm going in. *BOOM* Skarr Blackfeather: Clear! Raka Thunderhoof: Move up! Raziel: Sir, we have a prisoner. What do we do? Raka Thunderhoof: Let the jungle claim her. She took a bolter round in the chest, she's a goner. Let's keep moving. After passing the remains of a bunker, they reach the end of the jungle Raziel: Tall grass....does anyone else think that Velocioraptors are gonna come out and kill us in there? Julius Raseac: The Codex states, "ITS A TRAP!" Raka Thunderhoof: Two teams of two. Go left and right. Stern and Pollux go left, Raziel, Julius go right. Raziel: Damnit, I'm gonna die again... Hurin Bloodfang: Huh, look at this rock. Iruel: "Years ago the Crusaders killed the Ahn, and dumped their bodies in the lake. A temple was erected in their memory." Raka Thunderhoof: What temple? I didn't see one on the drop.... Iruel: Thsecond stone reads; "Wherever you go, I'll be there. All those with blood on their hands..."something something...,yeah I can't read the rest. Some kind of battle damage. Hurin Bloodfang: Sounds like a warning. Pio Furnac: Sounds like we're on the right path. Julius Raseac on Vox: We found the mansion. Holding position. Raka Thunderhoof: Good job. Pollux, Stern return to us. We will wait for you. A few minutes later Ferrus Pollux: where to now? Pio Furnac: Finally! Took you guys a while. Let's go. Raka Thunderhoof: Hmm, it's getting dark. Alright boys, forward. Elsewhere[/ Julius Raseac: Raziel is something wrong? Raziel: thought I saw something move...must have been a trick of the light. It's getting dark and all that. Julius Raseac: I'm uncomfortable already, standing here in the sight of anyone or anything in the mansion. Raziel: The rest of the team should....wait...shh....*Raises Bolter* Julius Raseac: What is it? *Raises Bolter* Raziel: Something's out there... Julius Raseac: Eldar? Raziel: Maybe....too small for an Ork or a Tyranid... Julius Raseac: Raka Where the hell are you? There's some spooky stuff going down here... Raka Thunderhoof: On route. Hurin Bloodfang: Let's go already! Raka Thunderhoof: Julius, we're coming in from the west. Raziel: Something is to the South.... Thing: SCREEE!! Raziel: NOOOOOO!!! MY LEG! IT'S COMING OUT OF MY NOSE!! Julius Raseac: NOOOOO!!! MY BLOOD! IT PUNCHED ALL MY BLOOD!!! Thing: SCREE!! SCREE!! SCREE!! Julius and Raziel's horribly maimed dead bodies hit the ground Thing: SCREE!! SCREE!! Skarr Blackfeather: Oh noes! Raseac and Raziel are dead! Raka Thunderhoof: Oh my god....what happened here?! Iruel: Look at all that blood!! It's like something punched out all of Julius's Blood out! Thing: SCREEEE!! Raka Thunderhoof: What the hell was that? Iruel: I'd suggest getting inside sir. Raka Thunderhoof: Good plan! Julius cover us! OH wait...he's dead. Umm.........Iruel, who's expendable here? Iruel: Pollux sir. Ferrus Pollux: Screw you! I am not expendable! Iruel: Yes you are. Raka is the Librarian. I'm the medic, Stern is sniperbait, Pio has the plasma gun, Skarr is our ninja, and you have no role. Raka Thunderhoof: Good, Pollux cover us! Ferrus Pollux: ...Damn. Raka Thunderhoof: Lock the door on him. Iruel: No problem. Way ahead of you. Ferrus Pollux: What are you guys whispering? Iruel: Nothing. Ferrus Pollux: ....Lies. Raka Thunderhoof: Oh, Pollux, I left my Force Weapon back there could you go get it? Ferrus Pollux: Sure. Raka Thunderhoof: CLOSE THE DOOR BLOOD ANGEL! *CLUNK* Ferrus Pollux: ....Ah crap. Thing: SCREEE!!! Ferrus Pollux: ....Double crap... Inside Raka Thunderhoof: So...what do you think that SCREE'ing thing is? Iruel: A daemon? Raka Thunderhoof: A daemon would not be stopped by a mere door! Thing: SCREE!!! Ferrus Pollux: MY HANDS ARE COMING OUT OF MY ANKLES!!! OH MY GOD!!! THE PAIN!! THE PAIN!! AAAAIEEEE!! WHY ISN'T ANYONE HELPING ME?!?! OH GAWD OH GAWD!! *gurgle* Blaaaaaah... Iruel: do you think he's dead? Pio Furnac: Maybe...should we go- Ferrus Pollux: OH GOD!! IT'S EATING MY EYES! WHY IS IT EATING MY EYES?! OH MY GOD ITS EATING MY HEART!!! MY HEART!! OH GOD IT HURTS SOOOOO MUCH!! AHH!! *Cries* OH GOD IT HURTS SO MUCH! *gurgle* Raka Thunderhoof: Alright.....so.... Stern Howzer: Shouldn't we go help him?! Skarr Blackfeather: over my dead body. He's a Space Marine. He's trained for this kind of things. Besides he didn't say the secret safety word. Stern Howzer: What is the secret safety word? Skarr Blackfeather: Uhh...Cordurory? Raka Thunderhoof: No, no. I'm certain it was ....shrimp daddy. Iruel: What?! No it isn't! I had to do with clothes and seafood. Stern Howzer: What kind of Kill Team is this?! Raka Thunderhoof: Fishnet? Iruel: Fishnets aren't a clothing! Skarr Blackfeather: Fishnet Stockings! Pio Furnac: Fishnet Stockings? Alright then. *Takes out Vortex Grenade* Raka Thunderhoof: STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? Pio Furnac: You guys said Fishnet Stockings. That's the secret codeword for the Vortex Grenades. Weren't you guys paying attention during the briefings? Raka Thunderhoof: Dude! I made the briefings! And WE NEVER went over Vortex Grenades! Where'd you even get one?! Pio Furnac: ...The armory. Iruel: Fishnet stockings was the code word for help. Pio Furnac: No it's not. It's "Jamba Juice Tickles". Iruel: What!? That's a stupid code word! Pio Furnac: And Fishnet Stocking isn't?! Raka Thunderhoof: Silence. Do you hear Pollux? Silence Iruel: No. I'll go check a window. Thing: SCREE! *Thunk* Iruel: Well...his head's not attached to his body anymore, and appears to be stuck on this window now. Pio Furnac: So....is he dead? Skarr Blackfeather: No, he's dancing on sunshine. Of course he's dead you dimwit! His head is no longer connected to his body, course he's dead! Pio Furnac: Just asking...god... Raka Thunderhoof: Alright boys, let's go check out the house. Skarr Blackfeather: Wow, look at this. Power Armor.....looks Pre-Heresy. And Look a Relic Blade! Raka Thunderhoof: Don't touch it. It might be...cursed. Skarr Blackfeather: Oh suuuuure, what's the worst thing that will happen? Screeeeeeeeeeeeech! Thunk Thud Skarr Blackfeather: Oh look the relic blade fell. Huh, who's arm is that. Wow look at all the blood. Oh...I'm a little...dizzy... Raka Thunderhoof: MEDIC! Iruel: Oh snap! I don't know what to do! I don't have real bandages! I confer Feel No Pain! That's all I can do! Oh god I'm useless! Oh god! Oh God! oh God! *Curls up into a ball and cries* Pio Furnac: Uhh..... Raka Thunderhoof: Code word....GORDON FREEMAN! Pio Furnac: What the hell is that supposed to do? Raka Thunderhoof: .....I have no idea. Stern Howzer: Wow? get out of here? Thing: SCREEE! Raka Thunderhoof: God! Shutup! I need to thi-...is that the... Stern Howzer: Sir, I suggest running away. Pio Furnac: Alright on the count of three. Raka Thunderhoof: Good plan. Pio Furnac: One....*Starts running* Stern Howzer: Where's the two? Wait! COME BACK HERE! Pio Furnac: SCREW YOU! EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF! Raka Thunderhoof: Well, you heard him. Stern Howzer: But sir the wounded! Raka Thunderhoof: Good idea. You stay here *Lops off Stern's leg, and starts running* PIO!!! WAIT FOR MEEEEEE! Thing: SCREE!!! Stern Howzer: MY LEG! IT'S COMING OUT OF MY EAR!!! OH GOD!!! I'M HAVIGN A SEIZURE!!! AAAAAH!! AMNESIA!! WHO AM I?! WHAT AM I?! AAAAAAAH WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ?! OH GOD IT'S IN MY CHESSSSTADafdkfnargbadfkamdnfan*gurgle* Skarr Blackfeather: Five more minutes mommy...zzz... Thing: Scree? Iruel: Okay, weird fit attack over. Guys? Gu-...oh damn. Thing: SCREE!! Iruel: OH GOD ITS IN MY MOUTH!!! I HAVE BEE'S IN MY MOUTH!! WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM?!! AAAAAAAAAAH!!! MY EYES!! THEY'RE IN MY CODPEICE!! AAAAH! WHAT KIND OF SORCERY IS THIS?!!? AAAAAAAH *SPLAT* Skarr Blackfeather: SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP! DAYUM! Thing: SCREE!! Skarr Blackfeather: OH YEAH!? YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! *Sticks a bolt pistol in his mouth* HAHAHA! IN YOUR FACE XENOS! *Blam* Thing: .....Scree? Elsewhere in the house Raka Thunderhoof: Pio! Wait! Whoo....damn ...whooo....*pant pant pant* Pio Furnac: dude...that was only 8 Miles. Man, you are out of shape. Raka Thunderhoof: Screw....you......wheeze...wheeze...White Scars aren't made for running...wheeze. Pio Furnac: where are the others? Raka Thunderhoof: Dead. Pio Furnac: I see...well. I'm gonna run. Raka Thunderhoof: What?! Why?! Pio Furnac: That thing is chasing us, and see you later old man! Raka Thunderhoof: Behind...ah damn. COME ON WARPSPAWN! I AM AN EPISO-...listary? No..episolistorororory...? EPilository? Aaaaaah *pop* Okay...I'm down to One wound...stupid aneurysm. Thing: SCREE!! Pio Furnac: THANKS FOR HOLDING HIM BACK FOR ME!! *Sprints the hell out of there* Raka Thunderhoof: Punk *mumble mumble*....ALright! SMITE! *Rolls 2d6* HAH! Yes! PEW PEW PEW Thing: SCREEE! Raka Thunderhoof: WHAT?! YOU HAVE A 2+ SAVE?! DAMNIT! I know! Quickening! Whooosh! Thing: SCREE! *Parry* Raka Thunderhoof: WHAT?! INITIATIVE 9 ?! OH YOU ARE A CHEESE INCARNATE! Thing: SCREE!!! Raka Thunderhoof: OH GOD! OH GOD! MY TONSILS HAVE BEEN RIPPED OUT! MY WISDOM TEETH HAVE BEEN PULLED, OH GOD I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN! OH GOD ARTHRITIS! IT BURNS!! I'VE GONE SENILE! OH GOD! THE PAIN IS TOO MUCH! Perils of the Warp: ....wow that's so messed up. How did his foot even fit in his ear....you know i'm gonna be nice. Raka Thunderhoof goes Pop. Thing: SCREE!!! Roughly 1 Mile away Pio Furnac: Damn, how long is this hallway?! Signpost: Next Room: 9,248.81203 Miles Pio Furnac: ....WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW Thing: SCREE! Pio Furnac: EAT PLASMA! *PEW PEW PEW PEW* Thing: Scree *Chuckle* Pio Furnac: YOU HAVE A 2+ INVULNERABLE?! OH THAT'S JUST NOT FAIR! Thing: SCREE! Pio Furnac: Oh yeah?! *Pulls the pin on a Vortex Grenade* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! *Runs at the Thing* *Big damn explosion* The Next Day Ravenor Eisenhorn: Dude...Okay. Who trashed my Mansion?!?!?!?!?!? Ashton Kutcher: YOU GOT PUNK'D! Oh damn...okay, we SOOO did not do the giant gaping hole thing....or the dead bodies... Ravenor Eisenhorn: .....Screw this. I'm gonna go chase a Heretic. Ashton Kutcher: Guys! What the hell?! Thing: SCREE!!! Ashton Kutcher: And someone get rid of this thing! Thing: SCREE!!! Ashton Kutcher :oH GOD IT'S EATING MY FACE!!! AAAAH! GUYS THIS ISN'T FUNNY !! HEEEEEEELP!!! AAAH *Gurgle* Hurin Bloodfang: DIE THING! *kills it* Hurin Bloodfang: WAIT! I'm the last one...YES!! YES!! YESS!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Lots of Things: SCREE!! SCREE!! SCREE!! SCREEE!! Hurin Bloodfang: ....If I'm going to die, I'm going to die drunk. *Starts drinking* Hordes of things charge Hurin Bloodfang Tzeentch: Just as planned.... Khorne: What are you babbling about? Hurry up and deal the cards! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mal Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 now thats just messed up! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I AM THE AWESOME Posted November 4, 2008 Share Posted November 4, 2008 Bee-utiful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Montuhotep Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 If I'm going to die, I'm going to die drunk.' Spoken like a true Wolf! :cuss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaplian Silkor Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Hell yeah :cuss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrastorm Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Great randomness as useual Leethal. :) Also it's great to see someone else has watched R-Point. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Cambrius Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Wow. :) That was randomness in its purest form. Have you been watching Monty Python? Keep it up Leethal. :lol: Cambrius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Malachi Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 Woohoo for randomness, and woohoo for ashton kutcher getting eaten lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hubernator Posted November 5, 2008 Share Posted November 5, 2008 *round of applause* brilliant ;) You sir are a Schwartz Master (be proud :P). Nice one Leethal, very nice :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexwars1 Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 that...was...so...random... I think i saw a holy hand grenade and a transfestite lumberjack go by... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SCC Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 Having read through the recent 'story' updates I'm afraid to say that I see no place for this thread in the Librarium, or indeed, the wider B&C. References to Ashton Kutcher and the like have no place in a board devoted to power armoured armies and more specifically in a sub-forum devoted to more serious (and I don't mean without a sense of humour, I mean 'proper' writing that is recognisably within the bounds of 40k fiction). And, if I'm frank, the 'humour' in the stories is neither funny nor clever and is most certainly not Python-esque in nature or result. As such this thread and its sister Darkwatch thread are being closed as inappropriate for the Liber Comminiscor forum and similar stories posted in the future will also be purged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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