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[LI01] Alt-IA: Blood Angels - Done?


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Aurelius Rex

Aurelius Rex

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As before, placeholder text will appear in garish yellow with new changes in orange and completed draft sections in the normal light grey.

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Index Astartes: Blood Angels
The Alternate Heresy


Found and raised by the cannibal-mutant tribes of Baal Secundus, Sanguinius, grew up despising the normal humans who, if given the chance, would have murdered him as an abomination. Taunted with images of his death at the hands of The Emperor, Sanguinius entered into a small pact with Nurgle to cloak his true nature, which by degrees ended with the damnation of his entire legion as unwilling, cadaverous plague-carriers. Driven by the compulsion to obtain fresh, untainted blood to dilute the toxin running through their veins, The Blood Angels raid world after world to slake their red thirst, and dream of the time they will be strong enough for a second assault upon Terra to finally kill The Emperor.

Origins
Even before the infant primarch of the Blood Angels came to rest on Baal Secundus, the moon’s history was one of a struggle against adversity. Although the moons of Baal had once been homes to technologically advanced and bounteous human settlements, terrible wars had scoured these away. All that remained of the population were tribes clinging to existence, scavenging for food amongst a landscape turned to irradiated glass and toxic sludge by the atomic and biological weapons of their forefathers. Lacking even the most basic protective equipment against the harsh radioactive environment, mutation and sickness was rife, and only the strongest and most resistant survived.

Life for these scattered tribes of the Changed, as they called themselves, was one shorn of all sentimentality. The shadow of starvation was ever-present, and they did what they must to survive, including eating the flesh of those who had lost the battle for survival, be they friend or foe. The only thing to strike fear into the hearts of the Changed were those creatures known as the Faceless Ones: implacable armies of killers who lived only to hunt down and exterminate the tribes of the Changed. Stripped of their heavy protective suits and characteristic mirrored faceplates they were nothing more than humans, and yet they looked down with contempt upon anyone bearing the stigmata of mutation.

So it was that when the Faceless Ones came across the infant primarch lying unprotected in the burning radioactive sands, and with stubby wings protruding from his back, they judged him as worthless. Had their convoy not then been attacked by a war-party of the Changed, the greatest being ever to set foot on Baal Secundus would have been slain there and then. The ambush at Angel Falls, which had saved the babe’s, life was just the latest skirmish in an endless struggle, and the infant primarch grew up harbouring an abiding and righteous hatred of the faceless killers who had tried to murder him. As he matured into robust adulthood, seemingly untouched by the ravages of the world’s deadly legacy, he became an object of worship to the Changed, and a figure of terror to the Faceless Ones. His wings, now full and plumed with feathers of purest white, gave him the image of an angel, both terrible and divine. For his skill and savagery he became known to both sides as Sanguinius – the Bloody Angel.

Colourpiece 1:
As Rupal raised his spear, ready to plunge it down into the winged child, something made him pause. The creature was plainly a mutant, and yet there was something regal, almost divine about the boy. Rupal had slain dozens of the cannibal-mutants in his three decades, enough to cement his position as chief, and yet this child was different. Spear still raised high, he turned back to address his people, ready to make them understand that this boy could mean salvation for their whole planet, when the arrow struck him in the chest.

Rupal stumbled backwards and fell, paralysed by shock and the effects of the poisons. He survived long enough to see his people running in terror from the ambushing mutants, and their twisted leader bearing down upon the infant angel. With the black hand of death upon his heart, Rupal’s final thought was not for himself, or even his tribe, but the hope that the child would be spared.


The tribes of the Changed flocked to his banner, and sensing that their extinction was at hand, the Faceless Ones also banded together. At Angel Falls, the place the primarch had first been found, a mighty army closed in upon Sanguinius’s growing warband. Hemmed in on one side by cliffs, and the guns of their enemy on another, the Changed urged their beloved leader to fly away in the dead of night and save himself, but he would not leave them. The first light of dawn glinting upon Sanguinius’s pristine wings signalled the start of a day of carnage unmatched since the world’s Great War. Even though the Changed were outnumbered more than five to one, they had been trained in the arts of war by an avatar of destruction who they loved more than life itself.

Allegedly, the tribes of the Changed ate well that night.

Victory at the Battle of Angel Falls broke the power of the Faceless Ones across Baal Secundus, and Sanguinius made certain that they would never rise again. His army scoured every inch of their blasted world, and brought back numberless rad-suits as trophies. In the following years the pile of helmets, with each mirrored face-plate symbolically smashed, grew steadily at the base of the cliff at Angel Falls. So it was with great ceremony that Sanguinius and his honour guard approached the hiding place of the very last Faceless One - a damaged bunker complex left over from the war. No barrier or bulkhead could deflect Sanguinius’s righteous anger. He was the Bloody Angel of vengeance right up until the moment the defenders triggered the biological weapon stockpiles the bunker had been built to house.

The lethal pathogens killed Changed and Faceless One alike, and even felled mighty Sanguinius. In his paralysed state, Sanguinius was haunted by fevered dreams of a great power searching the stars to find him. He was granted visions of being greeted by The Emperor, who at first professed to be his father, but proved to be no better than the Faceless Ones, turning on him on finding his mutation. Sanguinius felt his heart plucked from his chest by the armoured giant at The Emperor’s side, and witnessed the genocide of every tribesman of the Changed on Baal Secundus.

In the silent, funereal chill, a voice calling itself ‘Nurgle’ offered Sanguinius a way to avoid this fate for him and his people. It said that The Emperor could be defeated, but only through guile. If Sanguinius could act the dutiful son, the presence promised to cloak him in a glamour that would shield his true intentions, and make all who laid eyes upon him see only the purest of spirits. Fearing more for his people than his own life, Sanguinius reluctantly agreed, and awoke. Stumbling from the bunker he saw The Emperor’s fleet arriving in orbit, and their drop-ships streaking the night with fire.

Thanks to the glamour, when The Emperor, accompanied by Horus, found Sanguinius, He accepted his son with open arms. To be hailed as “a pure soul, having grown up unsullied amongst a world of mutant cannibals” tore at Sanguinius, but he continued the charade, and against his expectation even his wings were taken as a sign of his angelic nature rather than a damning mutation. Sanguinius longed to tear out The Emperor’s throat there and then, but the image of his lifeless body at Horus’s feet stilled his hand. As a parting gift, The Emperor handed over control of the newly arrived Ninth Legion of the Adeptus Astartes – mighty warriors patterned upon the gene-line of Sanguinius himself. These Terran legionnaires were charged with socialising him into Imperial society, as well as exterminating the mutant tribes so that Imperial settlers, who were to provide the Legion’s new recruits, would be able to thrive.

At first, Sanguinius was forced to watch, helpless, as his legion built funeral pyres of his Changed brothers and sisters, but slowly he came to the point where he could control their actions without raising suspicion. He slowed the purges by ordering the bulk of the legion to Baal Primaris to deal with their mutant population first. This gave him the time he needed to learn all he could about the procedure for creating new marines, under the pretext that they would need fresh recruits to fulfil The Emperor’s Great Crusade. During this time, the choking smog from the pyres was making life on Baal Secundus more deadly than ever. At first Sanguinius saw this as a blessing, as the Imperial settlers sickened and became easy prey, while the tribes of Changed, long-inured to such a hostile environment were little affected. When the apothecaries had completed the last batch of gene-seed, cultured from his own body, Sanguinius recalled the Blood Angels from their pogrom. Then, one by one, he revealed his true nature to them.

Colourpiece 2:
Sanguinius fought to control his emotions as the Terran Captain, Thoros, spoke of his victories against the ‘mutant-cannibal scum’ in the southern polar reaches. Thoros, clearly unnerved by this personal audience with his primarch, was trying to impress, but his fate had been sealed from the time he had landed on Baal Secundus with The Emperor. Deciding that he had heard enough, Sanguinius licked his thin, angelic lips and asked the question he had posed each of the Terran Blood Angels who had come before him in the last week:

“Would you bleed for me, my son? Would you... die for me?”


The Great Crusade
Fired with new purpose, Sanguinius set to work reconstituting the Blood Angels with recruits drawn exclusively from his people, the downtrodden mutant tribes of the Changed. Only the hardiest of individuals were able to survive unprotected on Baal Secundus, and they made excellent candidates. Using the knowledge gleaned from the apothecaries, these new Blood Angel initiates were implanted with gene-seed and entombed for a year within their sarcophagus-like life-support chambers. They emerged as echoes of their primarch – stronger, taller and far more deadly than before, and took up the armour left by the dead Terran legionnaires.

Though the Blood Angels were easily able to reconstitute front-line fighting forces, they could not replace the technical knowledge that had been lost. Their forge grew cold, and the only maintenance being carried out was the most basic forms conducted by the legion’s servitors. Nurgle spoke to Sanguinius once again, offering aid in this matter in return for being let further into the souls, but the pact was roundly rebuffed. He intended that the Blood Angels would rely upon shipments of materiel from the Mechanicus until they had mastered the intricacies of producing what they needed themselves.

Sanguinius yearned to simply to build up his forces ready for the time they could kill The Emperor, but, mindful of the need to maintain the facade of loyalty, ordered his new Blood Angels to take their place in the Great Crusade. To hide their true nature they rarely fought alongside other legions and kept themselves aloof from the Imperial army. They always met outsiders wearing full armour, and officers hid their twisted faces beneath beautiful masks of shining gold. Despite all this, rumours of their savagery on the battlefield became legendary, alongside darker tales that they drank the blood and ate the flesh of their enemies.

Such lurid tales were easily eclipsed by the success of the Blood Angel expeditions, but as time went on their momentum began to falter. The legion’s lack of technical knowledge meant that everything from their vehicles, armour and even their warships were becoming increasingly inefficient and unreliable. Worse still, a malaise hung over the legion, souring their wounds and sapping their vitality. When it was discovered that the worst symptoms of the phage could be alleviated with frequent transfusions of blood, the exsanguination of their victims turned from cultural habit to full-blown necessity. In the face of such adversity, Sanguinius became increasingly resentful of his patron. Since his rejection of the pact, Nurgle had been silent, with requests about how much longer they would have to keep up the pretence of loyalty going unanswered.

Every world the legion brought into the Imperium depleted their resources further, turning the campaigns into grinding wars of attrition rather than the lightning strikes of their early years. Sanguinius was set to return to Baal Secundus to replenish their ranks when he received an astropathic communiqué from Rogal Dorn, The Emperor’s Praetorian. Sanguinius’s fear that his true intentions had been found out proved to be correct, but instead of anger, Dorn greeted him warmly, and as a fellow conspirator. He told Sanguinius things that melted his suspicions, and requested that he bring the Blood Angels to Terra while Dorn dealt with the three incorruptible legions on Istvaan.

It was what the Blood Angels had been waiting for, but it couldn’t have come at a worse time. Ground down by attrition, sickness and equipment failure, there was little chance of them arriving at Terra in time, and even less of them being in a fit state to kill The Emperor. With a heavy heart, Sanguinius opened his soul to Nurgle, and ordered his brethren to do the same.

The Siege of Terra
To the inhabitants of Terra, the full enormity of Dorn’s actions had yet to sink in. The destruction on Istvaan and the imprisonment of The Emperor inside his own palace were all-too familiar to them from the blood-soaked civil wars of the Age of Strife. The appearance of Sanguinius and his Blood Angels as they emerged from their landing ships at the Eternity Wall spaceport brought home the true nature of Chaos. They were gaunt, cadaverous and marked with weeping sores, yet also revitalised by the power of the Warp. Even Sanguinius’s glamour could not hide what he had become, or the fevered and hungry glint in his eyes. To the defenders, Dorn’s rebellion had been unthinkable, but the Blood Angels were like something out of a nightmare. Pausing only briefly to feed after their long voyage, Sanguinius led his battle brothers to the Imperial palace.

Inside, they greeted the demi-legion of Imperial Fists that Dorn had left behind. These palace guards turned prison warders had been charged with holding the palace, as well as trapping The Emperor inside His own armoured bunker of a throne room until Dorn’s arrival. The hatred that Sanguinius felt for The Emperor burned so brightly that in spite of his legion’s lack of siege-craft he summoned his Blood Angels from their posts on palace’s outer walls to assault the throne room’s fortifications. In the confusion the Night Lords mounted the unguarded battlements and briefly ran amok, before melting back into the darkness. This led to much tension between Sanguinius and First Captain Sigismund, the commander of the Imperial Fist contingent, and caused even more when the raid’s true objectives eventually became apparent.

Dorn’s arrival was followed shortly after by that of the vengeful Sons of Horus and the Iron Warriors. This saw the Chaos legions trying to break into the throne room while at the same time holding off the loyalists besieging the outer palace walls. Eager to redeem their past failure, and to avoid his entire legion being ordered away in disgrace to crush the pockets of resistance that were welling up worldwide, Sanguinius threw himself wholeheartedly into the defence of the palace’s outer walls. Their greatest test came on the 55th day of the siege, when the Iron Warriors breached the Ultimate Gate. As his Blood Angels repelled the enemy and sallied out to destroy their mighty war engines, Sanguinius confronted Perturabo in single combat. Energised by the power of Chaos and seemingly impervious to pain, the Bloody Angel triumphed over his brother primarch, snapping his spine over bended knee. Then, in an act that earned them the eternal hatred of the Iron Warriors, he drained the dying Perturabo of blood and contemptuously cast the corpse back amongst his demoralised progeny.

It was then the turn of the Chaos Legions to force a breach of their own, this time against the adamantium walls of the inner throne room. Once inside, it become clear that the Night Lord’s earlier attack had in fact been a diversion to allow The Emperor to escape. Sanguinius led his Blood Angels in a rampage across Terra to find their quarry, and everywhere they trod, disease and sickness followed. On information from the Blood Angel terror-squads operating across the planet they traced The Emperor’s new base back to the Astronomicon – an odd choice given the number of more easily defended sites available. As they closed in on the Astronomicon, the Blood Angels ran foul of The Emperor’s latest trick: the psychic beacon had been reconfigured to flare with His presence, which weakened the daemonic across the planet. This affected not just the creatures of the warp, but the Blood Angels themselves, reliant as they are on its power.

Though facing the brunt of the loyalist legions, the Blood Angels fought on towards the Astronomicon. Every step and every death brought them closer and closer to The Emperor. They even fought on upon hearing that Dorn’s Heresy had died with him, and that the other Chaos legions were fleeing the planet. All that remained for them was that they reach critically injured Emperor who had been returned to the Astronomicon. In the face of overwhelming numbers and escalating casualties they fought on, but hope finally died when word reached them that even the berserkers of the Space Wolves had turned their fleet aside.

With bitter resignation, Sanguinius led the Blood Angels back to Eternity Wall spaceport - the first Chaos Legion to arrive on Terra, and the last to leave.

After The Heresy
In the wake of their defeat on Terra, the Blood Angels returned directly to Baal Secundus. They hoped to reconstitute their dangerously thinned ranks in preparation for a second attempt to kill The Emperor, but instead found their homeworld to be dead. The changes in the atmosphere they had observed before departing on the Great Crusade had greatly accelerated in their absence, shrouding the moon in pestilent, acrid mists. It was unclear if this was a twisted reward from Nurgle for their service, or even a punishment for their ultimate failure on Terra, but the result was the same. The tribes of the Changed, who had survived the Faceless Ones, the pitiless rad-deserts and even the pogroms of the Terran Astartes had finally been annihilated.

Cursing the name of Nurgle, Sanguinius ordered his legion to divide down to the level of individual Grand Companies, hoping that these smaller, more mobile fleets would be better able to evade the Imperial Navy and cover a wider area to find new recruits to their cause. Though re-building their ranks was their goal, it soon became clear that the phage which afflicted them was far more debilitating than they had suspected. The frequency with which blood transfusions were required to alleviate the symptoms increased, forcing the Blood Angel raids to focus more upon securing captives than on recruitment. Worse still, their requirement for healthy subjects meant that simply claiming a world and bleeding it dry was out of the question, as their very presence rapidly tainted the populace with Nurgle’s plagues.

The Apothecarion’s Sanguinary Priests became adept not just at transfusing their brethren, but at transplanting organs to replace those atrophied by the build-up of toxins. In the most severe cases the poisons rotted away the brain itself, causing violent insanity – the so-called Black Rage –making them a grave danger to friend and foe alike. Known to their brothers as the Lost, these creatures are a terrible vision of what fate awaits them all. For this reason they are locked away in the darkest bowels of the fleet’s ships, sustained only by the unholy powers of the Warp.

With this constant drain on their numbers, as well as the grinding battle of simply staying alive, the Blood Angels have instead fallen into taking their pleasure in punishing the Imperial worlds they raid. Sanguinius, however, has never forgotten his original purpose, and moves between his fleets urging them on to build towards the long-planned second assault on Terra. There is a tension between the Blood Angels and their patron that has echoed down the millennia since that first, misunderstood, pact on Baal Secundus. Nurgle has never been able to force Sanguinius to fully submit to his will, but despite this the Plague God has either been unwilling, or unable, to convert a more pliable legion to his wholehearted worship. It is possible that seeing the Blood Angels desperately battle against the grinding entropy of his ‘gifts’ holds more interest to Nurgle than that of the blind adoration he receives from more obedient followers.

Combat Doctrine
Even as a youth, leading his tribes to war against the Faceless Ones, Sanguinius would fly high over the battlefield before swooping down to tear into the heart of the enemy line. This simple joy, from a time before his life was marred by either Nurgle or The Emperor, has been imprinted upon the soul of each and every Blood Angel, and is reflected in the legion’s fighting style. Highly mobile assault squads make up the vanguard of every Blood Angels force, and the competition to gain a place amongst their ranks is fierce. Lacking the technical knowledge required to create or even maintain traditional patterns of Astartes jump-pack, a brother must make his own personal pact to create and empower their daemon-engine. These archaic devices emit a discordant sound more akin to the buzz of a swarm of flies than the roar of turbo-fans. In concert with those of their squad brothers, they come together to strike unnatural harmonics that can send their opponents screaming in terror rather than face them.

In support of the assault wave come infantry squads in vehicles that, despite their ramshackle and corroded appearance, can produce a remarkable turn of speed. These Tactical and Havoc squads provide invaluable covering fire, and once the battle is over they cordon the enemy survivors so that they can be tested for tissue compatibility by the Sanguinary Priests. Some of those that remain are gifted by the commander to slake the thirsts of the brethren he deems to have fought most valiantly, but most are allowed to leave alive. However, this is not done out of kindness. In their flight to other settlements, these refugees carry the seeds of sickness across the land.

Colourpiece 3:
As if in response to Sanguinary Priest Pelter’s presence, the sounds of scratching from inside the sigil-engraved case rose from insistent to frenzied. Pelter unfastened the catch and threw back the lid, and into the air rose a score of insects, each the size of a human hand. They were not like the ubiquitous clouds of flies that followed the legion, but forged from brass to bind and house a minor daemonic entity. They were yet another example of the Rite-Master’s craft, able to identify those suitable for exsanguination and organ harvesting. Without them, the legion would long-since have fallen to ruin.

The swarm rose, and then moved towards the ragged rows of captives the Blood Angels had assembled before them. They quailed before their approach, but it was a sign of the terror instilled by the Astartes that not a single captive broke and ran. Verdigris-covered insects landed upon petrified faces to sample tears, or capered across bandaged wounds to dab at the blood beneath with shining, syringe-like tongues. Alarmed by the high-pitched trill signalling tissue compatibility, one of the captives scrambled at the metal insect, shredding his hands on the iridescent blades of its wings. It tumbled to the ground, and was roughly stamped beneath heavy boots until the entity was released from its casing. Before the stench of putrescence and brimstone had dispersed, Pelter had the man pulled from the crowd. He had to make an example of him, and after all, it would be a shame to let compatible blood go to waste...


When the Blood Angels wish to ensure the downfall of a planet they will delay their return to the plague fleets, and focus their attention beyond small-scale raids. In such instances they unleash the full power of their necrotic arsenal, and become true harbingers of Nurgle’s power. The land sickens and the cloying stench of death fills the air. Clouds of flies blot out the sun and the ground becomes slick with decomposing vegetation. Victims of diseases in outlying settlements are herded in their millions against the defender’s strongholds. Only when morale is at its lowest ebb and stocks of ammunition run low do the Blood Angels finally attack.

Such strategies are effective against all but the most stalwart of opponents, and yet there is one final, terrible, weapon in their armoury: the mindless hordes of the Lost. Though they are undeniably lethal on the battlefield, the Lost are completely uncontrollable, unable to distinguish former friends from foes. Beyond such tactical considerations, the Lost are terrible reminders of the fate that lies in store for them all. For this reason only the direst of circumstances would prompt a Blood Angel captain to sanction their use on the battlefield.

Organisation
The Blood Angels retain the same basic organisational structure they had during the Great Crusade, and revere Sanguinius as their primarch and wellspring of their existence. However, their renegade status, along with the need to raid far and wide to stave off the Black Rage, has necessitated that the legion fragment down to the level of individual Grand Companies. Because of the vast distances separating the plague fleets each Grand Company captain has a great deal of independence and autonomy, although on occasion two or more fleets will converge to carry out particularly large and audacious attacks.

Each Grand Company, indeed, each ship in the Plague Fleet has its own cadre of Sanguinary Priests and Rite Masters; powerful individuals who wield great influence. Without the Sanguinary Priests of the Apothecarion to hold the Black Rage at bay the Blood Angels would rapidly descend into little better than mindless beasts. The Rite Masters are responsible for the legion’s ships, armour and weapons. Much of the technical knowledge for proper maintenance was lost during Sanguinius’s bloody reformation of the original legion, and that which survived was useless in the face of Nurgle’s corrosive influence. Instead, the Rite Masters use their sorcery to bind and compel the myriad daemonic entities that inhabit everything from the plague ships themselves, to their vehicles, and even the armour they wear.

Moving between the different Plague Fleets, accompanied by his honour guard of ancient veterans, is Sanguinius himself. While other primarchs who turned to Chaos have long-since ascended to daemon-hood, Sanguinius remains as mortal and terrible as he was during the Siege of Terra. Just to be in the presence of Sanguinius, to learn from his millennia of experience and to replenish depleted stocks of gene-seed fills the Grand Company with renewed will and purpose. Much is expected of a fleet accompanied by Sanguinius, and the penalty for displeasing the primarch is to meet the same macabre fate as befell the legion’s original Terran Astartes.

Being a fleet based legion, the Blood Angels take every opportunity to bring more ships into their service. They do this not just by boarding and claiming other vessels, but by infecting the crew with Nurgle’s plagues, leaving them as ghost-ships which can be easily tracked. The most audacious example of this was at Port Maw in M34, when a seemingly minor raid allowed the Blood Angels contaminate the supplies for much of Battlefleet Gothic. More than forty vessels, including a dozen capital ships fell in their entirety to the contagion, and became a part of the Plague Fleet.

Homeworld
After the Heresy, and with nothing left on Baal Secundus for them to call home, the Blood Angels became fleet-based, the better to raid the Imperium. Unlike most of the Chaos Legions they have never felt the draw of the Eye of Terror, and have certainly not been lured by the offer of inhabiting a daemon-world created in Nurgle’s image. Though the Blood Angels had already turned their back on the place, Abaddon’s massed Crusades against the homes of the Chaos Legions drew them inexorably there. By this point the changes wrought by Nurgle were so advanced that even Mortarion of the Death Guard, brought up breathing the noxious chemical smog of Barbarus, would not risk setting foot on the planet without his armour tightly sealed. The loyalists found something approaching a daemon-world, and finding nothing except the daemonic haunting its mists, withdrew and subjected it to an atomic bombardment exceeding even that of the first Great War in its ferocity.

The thrice devastated moon was declared ‘Perditia’, and quarantined by the Imperium until it was swallowed by the ever-expanding borders of Ultramar Segmentum. Be it through arrogance or ignorance, the Ultramarines chose to settle what remained of the moon. The subsequent plague and the renegade actions of the chapter founded to guard the area sent convulsions through the realm for nearly a century afterwards.

Colourpiece 4:
It was in the deepest level of the deserted Fortress-Monastery that they found the bones: piles and piles of them stretching out in every direction. There were hundreds of such sites on Baal Secundus, but as Captain Garro stepped out upon them he realised that this one was different. They had not splintered to dust beneath his armoured boots as a normal bone would have. Kneeling down to examine them closer brought the realisation that this was not just another bone-pit, but the grave of thousands upon thousands of Astartes. He picked a femur from the piles and saw, with an icy chill, that in spite of its ceramically toughened nature, it showed definite signs of having been gnawed.

Before he could ponder the significance of what lay before him, the call came from Mortarion himself to withdraw back to the stormbirds. As they cautiously made their way back through the catacombs, Garro noticed Brother Decius shudder and grip at his arm. Despite his protégé’s protests, the warp-creature’s knife had clearly caused him more harm than he was admitting. This whole planet was death incarnate, and the sooner Decius got the wound treated by Apothecary Voyen the happier he would be.


Recruitment
Although the tribes of the Changed on Baal Secundus are now but a memory, mutants can be found on the fringes of every human society. Captives bearing the stigmata are thrown into the stygian, foetid darkness of the ship’s holds, and those resilient enough to survive until their captors have finished their work on the organ-harvesting and exsanguination decks are tested further for compatibility with the Blood Angel gene-seed. If found worthy, they are subjected to batteries of surgical procedures and blood-rites to implant and initiate the Sanguinius gene-seed, and are then entombed within a sarcophagus for a year. These arcane mechanisms feed and guide the changes wrought by the various implants so that when it finally opens, they emerge bloody, but transformed, an echo of their cadaverous primarch. Through a combination of psycho-indoctrination and gene-line transference, they become imprinted with memories and character traits from Sanguinius’s earliest days on Baal Secundus. In this way they are reborn sharing an unbreakable bond and a unified purpose.

Those who fail the selection procedures serve the legion for the rest of their lives, guarding and tending to their Astartes lords as they slumber within their sarcophagi. In part this is due to fear, but a more powerful motivation is the desperate hope that their actions might prompt their masters to deem them worthy to become Astartes after all. Given the myriad diseases that proliferate aboard the Blood Angel’s fleets, the lifespan of most of these serfs is measured in weeks or months of coming aboard. Some, however, gain the favour of Nurgle and build a symbiotic relationship with their diseases, treating every new sore and pustule as an agonising blessing.

Gene-seed
The original gene-seed borne by the Terran legionnaires of the Ninth Legion was stable, efficient and pure, but they, along with their gene-line were wiped from existence. Unknown to Sanguinius, just as Nurgle had polluted his soul, he had also tainted his flesh, and in turn the implants prepared from it to create the new Blood Angels. Because of this, the gene-line of Sanguinius has become a curse, acting as a mark of Nurgle upon every marine who bears it. These implants acted more like a single parasitic organism than mere lumps of flesh. They aggressively drain nutrients and vitality from their host, causing the Blood Angel’s characteristic gaunt, cadaverous appearance. In turn the implants produce a seemingly endless array of diseases, to which the host marine becomes a potent carrier. The gene-seed shields the host from the worst of the symptoms, and also protects itself by making the host remarkably resilient to damage, or at least heedless of its effects until after the battle has ended.

The effect of all this is a build-up of toxins in the bloodstream which damages the organs, and, if left unchecked, they penetrate the brain causing the insanity of the Black Rage. The process is retarded by frequent transfusions of uninfected blood from the Sanguinary Priests, although in extremis it can be drunk and utilised by the body via a unique adaptation to the preomnor, or second stomach implant. The Blood Angels spend much of the long warp-journeys between raids inside their sarcophagi, waking only as the next planet approaches. Each sarcophagus incorporates arcane life support equipment which filters the toxin from their blood and allows the marine to enter an enhanced state of suspended animation to slow down his constant decline.

Though the gene-seed wreaks a terrible toll on its host, this becomes far worse if the implants become damaged in any way. As they regenerate they draw even more harshly on the body’s resources and release potent toxins, necessitating further transfusions and transplants. Because of this, the only time that a Blood Angel’s progenoid glands are removed is at the point of death, as to do otherwise would invite debilitating sickness.

Colourpiece 5:
Sergeant Yorah of the World Eaters brought his chain-axe around in a tight arc and decapitated the skittering mutant thing in mid-leap. They were getting bogged down, and every second brought this hulk of a plague ship closer to the planet. He ordered Brother Kellion to clear the corridor with his heavy bolter and checked the auspex for the best route to the life-support systems. They were so few – a single squad against a whole enemy ship – that their only chance was to destroy the Blood Angels before they could awaken.

In the seconds it had taken Yorah to pinpoint the correct path, his auspex had filled with encroaching blips. Despite the danger, he urged his brethren on into the fray. They were the sons of Angron, unmatched in martial discipline. They would prevail against this Chaos rabble.


Beliefs
Although the principle that has guided the Blood Angels is to bring about the death of The Emperor, in practice the need to quench their thirsts with the blood of their enemies all-too often obscures it. Despite the fates of Sanguinius and the Blood Angels being intrinsically tied to that of Nurgle, the relationship is very different to that of the cult legions of the other Chaos Gods. Where the Space Wolves, Raven Guard and White Scars are eager devotees, the Blood Angels spread disease across the galaxy not for the love of it, but to hurt the hated Imperium. They also have little choice, needing to raid far and wide to obtain the untainted blood they need to survive, and are well aware that to achieve Nurgle’s aim of infecting the entire galaxy would ultimately lead to their own extinction.

Battle Cry
During the Great Crusade, the Blood Angels were careful to give no cause for suspicion and went into battle swearing allegiance to The Emperor. Since the Heresy they are far more honest and open about their loyalties and motivations, and the battle cry “For blood and for Sanguinius!” has risen to prominence.

Edited by Aurelius Rex, 04 January 2010 - 12:51 PM.

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Index Astartes: Scions of Dorn

#2
Aurelius Rex

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To keep continuity errors down, here is what has already been said in the overview piece of the Blood Angels at the Siege of Terra:

With Dorn's Betrayal on Istvaan prematurely revealed, The Emperor and his Custodes were able to seal themselves off inside the Imperial Throne-Room complex. Dorn’s intention had been to quietly dispose of the legions he could not corrupt, and then return to the palace before his treachery was discovered to deal with his father. Dorn, however, had allowed for this eventuality. As the Emperor’s Praetorian, a portion of his legion garrisoned the Imperial Palace, and when the time came, guards became jailers, trapping The Emperor and his Custodes within the armoured bunker of the Imperial Throne-room.

Dorn’s grip upon Terra was tightened as, according to his plan, the Blood Angels fleet broke from the warp. What emerged from the landing craft at the Eternity Wall spaceport were not the proud, red-armoured sons of Baal, but gaunt, diseased creatures, who fell upon the terrified defenders to feast upon their blood. The legion had fallen prey to some form of malady that first rotted their blood, forcing them to take fresh stocks from unwilling victims, and in the process ate away at their sanity and loyalty to The Emperor.

A ray of hope came for the embattled defenders as the mercurial Night Lords appeared from nowhere. Nothing had been heard from the legion since their Primarch, Konrad Curze, had physically attacked Dorn and taken his followers into hiding. Once more, Night Lord fought Imperial Fist, but this time the reason for it was clear. Characteristic of the Night Haunter’s favoured tactics, the battle through the Imperial Palace was brutal and swift. Then, without warning, they withdrew to take the fight elsewhere across Terra.

This respite was short-lived, though, as within days the Arch-Betrayer, Dorn, arrived back from Istvaan in force, along with the Salamanders. The Iron Hands moved to secure Mars for the rebellion, silencing all word from the Adeptus Mechanicus and their Titan Legions. Shortly after, the fleets of the Sons of Horus and the Iron Warriors battered their way through the blockade to make planet-fall, before encircling the Imperial Palace in a counter-siege. This forced the Imperial Fists to defend the outer walls of the palace at the same time that they tried to break into the heavily fortified throne-room. The combination of the Warmaster’s cold fury and Perturabo’s siege-craft slowed Dorn’s progress towards The Emperor.

In those bloody days the war hung in the balance, with neither side able to land a fatal blow. With the Iron Hands incommunicado, and seemingly following their own agenda on Mars, and the renegade Space Wolves and Dark Angels unaccountably slowed to a crawl in the warp, Dorn turned ever-more towards the daemonic to win the war. Through foul sorceries and blood-pacts, Terra became a playground for all manner of entities from the Empyrian. To try to crush the resistance, Dorn despatched units of possessed Imperial Fists and the plague-ridden Blood Angels across the globe using his Sky-Fortress, but still the civilian uprising grew apace.

The loyalists, however, had their own troubles. The Death Guard were stranded on the other side of the galaxy, having been ambushed by Eldar raiders, which had left their warp engines wrecked and their navigators dead. The White Scars were thought lost in the warp, having not been heard from since their first astropathic recall. At any other time, the Palace’s great Cassius bell would have rung out ten thousand times in mourning, but in such blood-soaked days even a lost legion would have to wait for proper remembrance.

By the 55th day of the siege, the Iron Warriors had broken through to the Ultimate Gate. Perturabo himself led the assault that he fervently hoped would bring him face-to-face with Dorn. As the mighty gates were blasted open, it was not Dorn that defended them, but Sanguinius of the Blood Angels, skin pocked and welted, and his once white-feathered wings now balding and slicked with necrotic pus. As the two brothers fought, the wider battlefield grew still. All eyes fixed upon the epic clash as they traded blows that would have crippled lesser beings. In the end, Sanguinius hefted the stunned Perturabo aloft, and brought him down across his knee, breaking his spine. Sanguinius then took flight, carrying his dying brother into the air, and drained him of blood. As the Ultimate Gate was bulldozed shut once more by the defenders, Sanguinius contemptuously threw the corpse back down at the broken Iron Warriors.

As it transpired, the Ultimate Gate was never assaulted again, and within a day Dorn broached the adamantium walls of the throne-room. What he found, however, drove him to a fury. The Emperor was long-gone - spirited away by the Night Lords at the start of the siege. While Chaos had focussed its attention upon the throne-room, The Emperor had used the time to organise resistance across Terra. The skeleton force of Custodes that had remained to maintain the illusion bore the brunt of Dorn’s anger.

Despite strenuous assertions from Horus that He must leave Terra, The Emperor flatly refused. He had spent the whole of his long lifetime battling to unite Terra and mankind, and had fought at the forefront of the Great Crusade against the scum the universe. He would not be driven away from his own planet. He also had a plan. In the time since His rescue by the Night Lords, He had been working to this end, and just after the death of Perturabo, The Emperor completed His modifications and bonded a portion of His consciousness with the Astronomicon. Instantaneously, the warp-influence weakened planet-wide, with whole legions of lesser entities banished from the physical realm.

The rebellion was wounded, but not finished. Then, beyond all expectation, the White Scars arrived. Thought lost, their ships filled the comm-channels with disturbing, discordant harmonics before swooping down into the embattled Lion's Gate spaceport. They murdered the Imperial defenders, and without even fortifying their positions, the corrupted White Scars took to their vehicles and scattered across the planet at high speed to make sport with the cowering civilian population.

With another fresh legion throwing its weight behind the traitors, and the fleets of the Dark Angels and Space Wolves only days away, The Emperor had no choice but to cut out the Heresy at its source. He and his finest troops prepared to board The Phalanx and destroy the Arch-Betrayer, Dorn, on his own battle-barge.


There is also a mention of the Blood Angels post-Heresy, along with hints about the 'Death Company':

“The Imperium slowly pushed the Traitor Legions out of their traditional enclaves, and most set up bases on the hellish worlds in and around the Eye of Terror. Each seemed driven to periodically strike out from their daemon-worlds for spoil, pleasure, or necessity. The contagions afflicting Sanguinius and his cadaverous Blood Angels grew worse over the centuries, and they were forced to raid further and further afield to provide the fresh blood and replacement organs they so desperately needed. The worst afflicted brethren are driven beyond sanity as the build-up of toxins rotted their brains beyond recovery. These wretches are often grouped together and in battle herded towards their enemies. Although little more than beasts, their warp-boosted vitality, maniacal strength and inability to register pain make them more than a match for even veteran Astartes warriors.


Edited by Aurelius Rex, 28 September 2009 - 07:12 PM.
Remembered the second reference.

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Index Astartes: Scions of Dorn

#3
Aurelius Rex

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I have been fleshing the basic premise out, but have not had time to transfer the rough notes to this thread. So after three weeks to a month things are finally congealing into something workable, but it will take a few days to get them down here. Stick with me, as things should start moving from now on. :tu:
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#4
Morticon

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Dunno if its been addressed but BA dont get organ implants like other marines- its why our process only takes 1 year. Its also why the mutant dwellers are transformed from ugly mutants into statuesque handsome warriors.
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#5
Aurelius Rex

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I will be twisting characteristic elements such as the sarcophagus, Death Company, the Curse of Sanguinius etc. into a new context in the piece, Bwahahaha! ;) It just hasn't made the transfer from paper to electronic form yet, let alone become anything like coherent. :lol:
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#6
Sigismund Himself

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It just hasn't made the transfer from paper to electronic form yet, let alone become anything like coherent. :blush:

I've had 8 months and my IA isn't coherent, don't beat yourself up too much John ;)

Upon the naming and origins of Sanguinius: Maybe he lands among the mutants and they start raising him. Then a normal human tribe comes and wipes out his family while he is still young. Nurgle then grants him his glamour here so he can survive and be raised by the human tribe. Then you can have him either going from tribe to tribe as a sole survivor of a previous tribe while actually being the destroyer of them. Or doing a more traditional vampire: normal by day, taking the blood of innocent virgins by night (the only vampire mythology I know is second hand from Terry Pratchett :lol: ). Or just breaking free and returning to the mutants. This would help explain the same naming which you were worrying about.

I think the Blood Angels are the 9th Legion.

#7
Aurelius Rex

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I'm afraid progress of late has been little better on this article. The two month ideal is very close now and I have not even started the drafting process. On the up side, I have got a more solid idea on what to do with this.

@Sig - I thought seriously about the ideas you suggested for Sanguinius, but I think that it would make him a lot less noble in his motives than the way I have planned. Sanguinius is supposed to be the most noble and pure, so this is an odd way to take him, (to a cannibalistic chaos mutant) but if he sees that he is honestly fighting against injustice and those who tried to kill him as a baby, then it makes his actions more justifyable, I hope.

Oh, and thanks. The BA are indeed the ninth legion. :)
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#8
JamesI

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I really enjoyed reading that. Nice work on the evil mutated BA.

gallery_26_4045_8286.gif

 

 

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#9
Aurelius Rex

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Thanks. James. I am glad that it finds favour with a Blood Angels fan such as yourself. :drool:


After loooong procrastination, I have started the drafting process proper with a good stab at the Homeworld section. The tone will generally be skewed in favour of the legion in question, so for instance they would be described as a Chaos Legion or rebel legion rather than a Traitor legion.

The good news is that once the drafting process starts in earnest, as it has here, things go a lot quicker. I just have to keep the momentum up.

Edit later 21/11/09: I added the Recruitment section I was working on earlier today. The plan is to do the important Gene-Seed section tomorrow (Sunday) and keep it rolling through to completion.

Edited by Aurelius Rex, 21 November 2009 - 10:56 PM.

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#10
Sigismund Himself

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All looks good so far John. The only thing I want to know more about is the relationship between the Legion and Nurgle.

The only other thing was why the Death Guard simply didn't blow up the Blood Angel's homeworld. That felt a bit strange to me, especially after it's mentioned as the only solution.

#11
Aurelius Rex

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Hi Matt, good to hear from you. It is always useful to get feedback on these things. :)

On the homeworld exterminatus question, point taken... I will have to re-word it. I want it to be bombed (or burned) to blazes so that the rot seems extinguished, but intact enough that several thousand years later the Ultramar realm would be able to settle it, either unknowing or uncaring of its tainted history. Exterminatus could point to turning the world into an asteroid field, or at least never usable again ever, so for that reason I will have to use a different word. Perhaps, like after the life-eater virus on Istvaan (3?) the Nurgley world was so flammable from the methane produced by decay that they were able to ignite the atmosphere with a suitably large melta-torpedo... or that they just bombarded it again with atomics and replicate the war that originally devastated Baal and its moons.

Thoughts?


On the relationship with Nurgle, I may not have got round to expressing it properly as there are lots of notes I have not transcribed to the various sections. I wanted to make the legion itself, Sanguinius included, far from devotees. They feel betrayed by him paying only lip-service to him and are forced to raid (and consequently spread his plagues) to get the blood and organs needed to survive. The idea is that knowing the resentment, Nurgle was preparing to get a true cult legion, but the Death Guard slip through his clutches thanks to the eldar blowing up their fleet's warp engines before they jump to the warp and so are never trapped in the warp. When they get to see the face of Chaos on Baal Secundus turns them against Nurgle for ever.

Admittedly it is quite convoluted, but I think that if I execute it correctly it will be an interesting spin on the conventional total obedience of the other norm- and alt-cult legions.

If I can execute it right, that is! :)
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#12
Aurelius Rex

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In the last couple of days I have added drafts of the Gene-seed and Beliefs sections. I think that both sections give an interesting and believable spin on how a Nurgle-corrupted version of the Blood Angels might work - the gene-seed implants being a hostile, almost sentient organism was one I particularly like.

At this stage I am aiming to simply get something readable up for each section. I can then knock the rough edges off it and see how each part interacts. That is not to say that I don't want to hear feedback at this stage. ;)

Next up I want to attempt the Combat Doctrine and Organisation sections. Once they are done I should have a good handle on how to write the earlier history sections. I also need to think of sidebar colourpieces to go with them.

Edit: 03/12/09 - I have drafted the Combat Doctrine and Organisation sections today. That leave me to start with the history sections of the IA this weekend.

Edit: 06/12/09 - The Grand Crusade section is drafted now. Tomorrow I will have a go at the Heresy itself. Note that these drafts are all rough and will need to be seriously polished up to make sure they flow properly, and don't repeat too much. At the moment I just want to get a good draft down on paper and can work from there.

Edit: 07/12/09 - I have put a framework to the Dornian Heresy (or more accurately the Siege of Terra) section. I need to draft it properly to make it readable tomorrow.

Edit: 15/12/09 - The Siege of Terra section was (quite roughly) drafted over the weekend. This leaves the Origins (next), Post Heresy (which may draw on bits already covered elsewhere in the Homeworld section) colourpieces, intro paragraph and then a shedload of proofreading to tighten it up. A nice Christmas present to myself would be to have it done and dusted, and to be looking forward to doing the next legion. :rolleyes:

Edit: 21/12/09 - I have been working on the Origins section, but have not updated the article yet. I shall try to get what I have on in some form, but it is far from ready. I have updated the Post-Heresy section with a framework this lunchtime, with the things that need to be covered in more detail. While doing that I will consider if it is best to nab a couple of the items discussed in other sections, such as establishing the toxic death of Baal Secundus from the Homeworld as well as a lot of stuff about Sanguinius and his attitude, such as the final paragraph from the Beliefs about the antipathy they feel towards Nurgleand the organisation section about Sanguinius. Hopefully it should help to further focus those sections and still keep down the word count.

Edit: 23/12/09 - The Post-Heresy section is drafted, with a number of sections taken from other parts of the piece. Next up is to do the same with the Origins section, before going back and re-wording the sections I have raided and making a ton of proofing changes.

Edit: 27/12/09 - Over the last few days I have done some proofing and drafted the origins section. I now have to go back over the Homeworld and Beliefs sections to repair the damage of having ripped out large chunks for the earlier bits. :)

Edit: 29/12/09 - Homeworld and Beliefs sections to repaired and re-drafted. There are about five - hopefully short - colourpieces to do, as well as the very important introductory paragraph and then it is just a matter of editing and proofing it until I can stand it no longer. :P
Mini-update: I just added the fifth colourpiece about Garro finding the bones of the Terran Astartes as the Death Guard sweep the Blood Angel's deserted Fortress-Monastery. It also makes mention of events from the HH novel 'Flight of the Eisenstein', with Garro's protege, Decius being wounded in the arm by a plague daemon. With luck the observant reader will notice that, just like in the HH universe, that minor wound isn't going to just get better! ;)

Edit: 30/12/09 - Colourpiece 1 drafted. Let's see if I can finish 2, 3 & 4 tomorrow, and think of a suitable intro chapter.

Edit: 31/12/09 - All the colourpieces done, along with some minor edits. Intro paragraph and detailed proofreading from now on. Happy New Year! :D

Edit: 02/01/10 - Two detailed proofing passes have (I hope) eliminated most of the sloppy wording. While I will do the process again, fresh pairs of eyes are always valuable to check if things flow to the readers who aren't me! I still have to think of a snappy intro paragraph to hook the reader, but I am nearly there, I think.


Edited by Aurelius Rex, 02 January 2010 - 09:25 PM.

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#13
Aurelius Rex

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The last section - ironically the introduction paragraph - is finally done. This one took twice as long as usual, for some reason, but I hope it is still up to the standard of the other articles.

I will proof this again myself, but feedback on it from you guys is also needed to help spot the bonehead errors I have missed.

Now the article is done, the plan is to forward this to OMG and see how soon we can get the Legio Imprint published...

... And to crack on with the next legion IA, of course. :lol:
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#14
Sigismund Himself

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Here comes the nitpicking ;)

Found and raised by the cannibal-mutant tribes of Baal Secundus, Sanguinius, grew up despising the normal humans who, if given the chance, would have murdered him as an abomination. Taunted with images of his death at the hands of The Emperor, Sanguinius entered into a small pact with Nurgle to cloak his true nature, which by degrees ended with the damnation of his entire legion as unwilling, cadaverous plague-carriers. Driven by the compulsion to obtain fresh, untainted blood to dilute the toxin running through their veins, The Blood Angels raid world after world to slake their red thirst, and dream of the time they will be strong enough for a second assault upon Terra to finally kill The Emperor.

'Cannibal-mutant' sounds a little weird to me, in terms of word placement. But then I can't think of a better way to do it...

Bolded part doesn't work for me, seems unnecessary. Would remove the 'small' from in front of pact, as any deal with a Chaos god is not going to be small. Would replace 'which by degrees' with something more along the lines of 'a decision that culminated in the damnation [as is from here]'. Don't need the capital T on the 'The' in front of the Blood Angels? Would replace 'to finally kill' with something a bit more evocative like 'wreak their vengeance'.

Although the moons of Baal had once been homes to technologically advanced and bounteous human settlements, terrible wars had scoured these away.

Nearing the limits of my grammar, but shouldn't there be something after 'these' or it should be 'them'. Not sure on the pluralisation of 'homes' as well but I think that one's a 50/50 call.

So it was that when the Faceless Ones came across the infant primarch lying unprotected in the burning radioactive sands, and with stubby wings protruding from his back, they judged him as worthless. Had their convoy not then been attacked by a war-party of the Changed, the greatest being ever to set foot on Baal Secundus would have been slain there and then. The ambush at Angel Falls, which had saved the babe’s, life was just the latest skirmish in an endless struggle, and the infant primarch grew up harbouring an abiding and righteous hatred of the faceless killers who had tried to murder him.

Would replace 'worthless' as 'an abandoned mutant spawn' or something along those lines. Sanguinius would not be the greatest being ever to set foot on Baal Secundus as the Emperor landed there as well? Misplaced comma after babe's, should be after 'life' instead.

or even his tribe

Should it be 'nor'?

The tribes of the Changed flocked to his banner, and sensing that their extinction was at hand, the Faceless Ones also banded together. At Angel Falls, the place the primarch had first been found, a mighty army closed in upon Sanguinius’s growing warband. Hemmed in on one side by cliffs, and the guns of their enemy on another, the Changed urged their beloved leader to fly away in the dead of night and save himself, but he would not leave them. The first light of dawn glinting upon Sanguinius’s pristine wings signalled the start of a day of carnage unmatched since the world’s Great War. Even though the Changed were outnumbered more than five to one, they had been trained in the arts of war by an avatar of destruction who they loved more than life itself.

Are the Faceless Ones meant to be a group of independent tribes or are they more from a central place? Also, should 'who' be 'whom'?

He was granted visions of being greeted by The Emperor, who at first professed to be his father, but proved to be no better than the Faceless Ones, turning on him on finding his mutation.

Should 'on' be 'upon'? And also, I would use 'discovering' rather than 'finding'.

Stumbling from the bunker he saw The Emperor’s fleet arriving in orbit, and their drop-ships streaking the night with fire.

Must have very good eyes then ;) Perhaps have the drop ship's fire being the indicator of the Emperor's fleet, as recognized by the prescient primarch. And I think that 'sky' should be included after 'night'.

Thanks to the glamour, when The Emperor, accompanied by Horus, found Sanguinius, He accepted his son with open arms.

Too many commas, breaks the flow of the sentence. Also would replace 'Thanks' with 'Due', more formal sounding.

Sanguinius longed to tear out The Emperor’s throat there and then, but the image of his lifeless body at Horus’s feet stilled his hand.

No 's' needed after 'Horus' '.

These Terran legionnaires were charged with socialising him into Imperial society

Not sure on the 'socialising' and 'society'. Perhaps replace with 'introducing' and 'Imperial war machine'.

Since his rejection of the pact, Nurgle had been silent, with requests about how much longer they would have to keep up the pretence of loyalty going unanswered.

Sounds a little too like Sang has Nurgle's phone number with the use of the word 'requests'. Perhaps 'demands' instead.

Sanguinius was set to return to Baal Secundus to replenish their ranks when he received an astropathic communiqué from Rogal Dorn, The Emperor’s Praetorian. Sanguinius’s fear that his true intentions had been found out proved to be correct, but instead of anger, Dorn greeted him warmly, and as a fellow conspirator.

I would change the bolded 'their' with 'the legion's '. And don't need a 's' after Sanguinius.

Even Sanguinius’s glamour could not hide what he had become, or the fevered and hungry glint in his eyes.

Would remove the 'and' and put a comma in place.

This affected not just the creatures of the warp, but the Blood Angels themselves, reliant as they are on its power.

Would replace 'its' with something more along the lines of 'Nurgle's blessings'.

For this reason only the direst of circumstances would prompt a Blood Angel captain to sanction their use on the battlefield.

Would replace 'sanction their use' with something along the lines of 'release them onto'.

Before he could ponder the significance of what lay before him, the call came from Mortarion himself to withdraw back to the stormbirds.

Stormbirds need capital 'S'. Love the colourpiece too :)

If found worthy, they are subjected to batteries of surgical procedures and blood-rites to implant and initiate the Sanguinius gene-seed, and are then entombed within a sarcophagus for a year.

Three 'ands' in close proximity. Breaks the flow of reading a little

The process is retarded by frequent transfusions of uninfected blood from the Sanguinary Priests, although in extremis it can be drunk and utilised by the body via a unique adaptation to the preomnor, or second stomach implant.

I would avoid using 'retarded', some idiot is going to say something that will lead to them getting warned :)

For blood and for Sanguinius!

I think there's better out there. I'll have a think on it...


Probably my favourite Legion so far ;) Beautiful work.

#15
Aurelius Rex

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Many thanks for the feedback, Matt. ;) I have got so close to the source material over the last few months that it is good to hear from someone else if the ideas have actually worked or not. I will examine the article again at the weekend along with your notes and then will be in a position to forward the finished word article on to Paul (OMG)

Was the colourpiece with the World Eaters infiltrating the sleeping BA plague ship obvious as a flip of Space Hulk? In the normal 'verse the BA are infiltrating a 'stealer infested hulk. You could probably make a Dornian Heresy version of Space Hulk using the same rules and board, and simply swapping Loyalist Astartes in power armour instead of termies, (flamer for termie heavy flamer... heavy bolter for assault cannon termie) and having the Renfield-like chittering plague mutants as the normal stealers. For the brood-lords, perhaps a Lost (Death Company) marine that has inadvertantly been released by the invading Astartes, or a Blood Angel terminator that has awoken from his sarcophagus. :tu:

I even included the bit about 'blips' closing in on them as a gentle hint... Did any of that come over when you read it?
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Alternate Heresy Index Astartes articles for the World Eaters, Emperor's Children, Raven Guard, Word Bearers,
Ultramarines, White Scars, Space Wolves, Thousand Sons and Blood Angels available as a pdf
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Iron Warriors +++ Iron Hands +++ Alpha Legion +++ Dark Angels

Index Astartes: Scions of Dorn