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IA: The Sons of Anubis


space wolf

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  • 1 month later...
Ok, so I've decided to do some rewrites, but I need your help. As I've read this massive thing, It seems like there isn't enough mention of Dorn. All chapters revere their primarch, but it seems like he's just a minor player here. I'm looking for a way of smoothly integrating him in here. Additionally, is this thing still too long...too much detail?
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Ok, so I've decided to do some rewrites, but I need your help. As I've read this massive thing, It seems like there isn't enough mention of Dorn. All chapters revere their primarch, but it seems like he's just a minor player here. I'm looking for a way of smoothly integrating him in here. Additionally, is this thing still too long...too much detail?

 

Nah, it seems pretty good. Dorn gets more of a look in here than many DIY chapters give their primarch.

Also, I'm not really sure what needs cutting down if the IA is too long. That's a tricky one. :tu:

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