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Index Astartes: Hounds of the Hunt

Loyalist Native American Theme Madwolf Shadowmane cursed founding

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#1
Madwolf Shadowmane

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Index Astartes: Hounds of the Hunt

“Ferocious Hunters”

 

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For the Emperor…
We hunt our foes.
For the Chapter…
We honor the hunt.
For Mankind…
We sacrifice our lives.

 

Origins

 

The Dark Huntsman
Once a century the entire Hunt gathers and in the dance and chant storytelling of the Hounds they recount their oldest legend.  The Hounds act out the myth of the mysterious Dark Packmaster.  This enigmatic figure has been seen by brothers of the Hunt from their Founding day to now.  He is described as a tall being shrouded and hooded in a dark cloak, his glowing green eyes are the only visible feature.  He appears with a pack of enormous hunting canines.  At each manifestation of this infamous figure his hounds have touched the gathered Hunt and none of the Hounds have fallen to the curse.  There is no Imperial record of the Dark Huntsman being seen by anyone not of the Hunt, but his existence has a real impact on the Hounds of the Hunt.
T
he common presumption is that the Hounds of the Hunt were created during the cursed 21st Founding.  Several
narratives of the era report a fledgling chapter of their description, and rumors of the chapter’s behavior would seem to confirm the genetic and temperamental instabilities so common to Astartes of that unfortunate Founding.  Elements of the chapter’s oral history could refer to the Hound’s creation at some secret Adeptus Mechanicus facility, though they may also simply be examples of the semi-mythical creation stories not uncommon among the Adeptus Astartes.  The chapter displays acute olfactory and auditory senses that are coupled with hunting instincts rare even amid their Astarte cousins, suggesting that they may be products of unusual genetic experimentation. 

 

Imperial records do report that the Hounds were given the planet Eametanene on the rim-ward edge of the Segmentum Obscurus on the border of Segmentum Ultima. On their naming day, the Hounds were commissioned to hunt renegades, traitors, and corrupted Adeptus Astartes near both the Maelstrom and the Eye of Terror. 

 

The Hounds refuse to name their first Chapter Master, but his reprehensible actions still influence the chapter to this day.  This omission is speculated to be linked to a massacre of the Chapter’s First and Tenth companies early in its history.  The result is that no Hounds leave their home world until they can don the power armor of a Hound. 

 

Despite this excess caution, the Hounds are now a depleted Chapter, probably as a result of the genetic instability common to their Founding.  The chapter is reported to have begun trying to increase the size of their recruiting population by transplanting war orphans from their campaigns to their home world, though it remains to be seen if this will be effective.  Still, the chapter continues to pursue its mission of hunting down the enemies of the Emperor.

 

The Curse

 

T
he Hounds are thought to have been created from potentially manipulated Salamander gene-stock, a claim substantiated by their early physical appearance and many practices of their chapter cult.  Incomplete apothecarial records from the Hound’s early years indicate that they carried a third progenoid zygote, demonstrated elevated speed and stamina, and utilized acute senses to track the renegade, traitor, and chaos Adeptus Astartes, but suffered from and overly aggressive demeanor.  It seems likely that they were intended to produce superior Astartes at a faster rate.  Considering the diminished state of the chapter, it seems likely that these successes are now tarnished by drawbacks and mental instability. 

 

Indeed, narratives from various battlefields suggest that the Hounds after being bloodied frequently fly into a rage where they will tear apart anything in their path.  Of note, to date, there is no record of Imperial troops being caught in one of these frenzies.  The secondment of individuals to the Deathwatch and other such organizations is uncommon, and some observers have suggested the Hounds are trying to ensure that no brother is ever left in a position where he will become enraged without anyone to restrain him. 

 

The oral histories of the Hounds describe their gene-seed as coming from the “Three Brothers,” implying that their stock may be a chimeric amalgamation of several sources.  They apparently lack a Betcher’s gland zygote and at minimum possess a mutated Occulobe zygote as exhibited by their glowing green eyes.  If any other mutations or deficiencies exist they have not been observed nor are the Hounds forthcoming on the subject. 

 

To this date the Bone Seers, Hound Apothecaries; have been unsuccessful in finding a cure for the curse.  The Hounds have repeatedly
petitioned the Adeptus Mechanicus for samples of their early gene-stock, but have met with refusal.  This denial has frustrated the Hounds and lends to their less than cordial relationship with the Mechanicus.   

 

Home World

 

Eametanene
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E
ametanene is a “feral death world” with a single supercontinent covered by plains with scattered forest groves and small lakes.  The super continent is bordered by jagged mountains and volcanos.  The apex predators are flightless scaled creature known as a Terror Bird, which produces venom so potent it causes hallucinations in Astartes. 

 

The natives of Eametanene are hunter-gatherers which are formed into several loose familial tribes.  The natives hunt the herds of Hexabison, a six-legged herbivore, following the creature’s migratory patterns through the seasons.  The indigenous people constantly have to defend their temporary settlements from the Terror birds and feline pack scavengers, constant threats make the young hunters of Eametanene prime candidates for recruitment into the Hounds. 

 

The Eametaneneans worship the Emperor in the guise of the local sun, a religion which appears to stem from an ancient abandoned Ecclesiarchy mission on the planet which predates the Hounds’ Founding.  The Hounds’ Cult Seers use the chapel to masquerade as priests and guide the tribes without revealing their presence. 

 

The Hounds’ Fortress-Monastery, Hunt’s End, is located in an enormous dead volcano on northeastern edge of the super continent.  Most of the Chapters facilities are underground in a series of catacombs called the Underworld.  Since the Hounds honor their brothers in funeral pyres the Underworld houses the individual war trophies of the Chapter’s fallen battle brothers.  The ancients of the Hounds, the venerable dreadnoughts, also dwell in the lowest levels of the Underworld where they slumber until called back to the Hunt. 

 

Chapter Cult

 

Pure Bloods
The Hound Dreadnoughts are revered as a direct connection to their past. These ancient warriors are also symbols of hope for this Cursed Chapter. The brothers in the dreadnoughts have not succumbed to the Curse despite mortal wounds which lead to their internment. Their gene-seed is isolated and only implanted in the most worthy of initiates.
A
bove all else the Hounds of the Hunt respect the Emperor as the greatest warrior to have ever lived and their genetic father.   The Hounds revere all the loyal Primarchs as the greatest sons of the Emperor.  Combining an instinctive pack loyalty with their familial reverence for the Emperor produces their remembrance for the Chapter’s fallen brethren by knowing the names of those from whom their individual gene-seed derives. 

 

The Cult of the Hounds, established prior to their official founding, is a perverted form of the Promethean Cult.  The cult teaches self-sacrifice for the good of the Hunt and for the protection of humanity.  Another tenet of the cult is fire as a purifying force and the bodies of fallen Hounds are always burned to facilitate their journey to dwell with the Emperor and the honored dead. 

 

All of the rites of the Hounds are performed under the open sky whenever possible and fire is a common element.  The Hounds celebrate successful hunts, the conquest of foes, and significant deeds of bravery with artistic images burned into their flesh with a red hot knife.  These brandings are usually performed by the Chapter Apothecaries. 

 

As a new brother joins his first squad, he is forced by his fellow Hounds and his aggressive nature to challenge the senior members of the squad.  These fights of dominance are the core of the Chapter’s pack mentality.  This practice permeates the Hounds at all levels of command with the exception of the specialized Seers.  The need for instituting pack dominance is so overwhelming that detachment commanders challenge their cousin Astartes for the right to lead planetary campaigns and expect non-Astarte leaders to capitulate in their presence. 

 

Every brother in the Chapter is encouraged to develop skill in some form of artifice.  The carving and engraving of armor and weapons is thought to help focus the mind and spirit as an aid to calm their aggressive natures.  The Hounds also accumulate trophies of war.  They take scalps, skulls, helmets and other ornamentation to establish their personal combat legacies, known as Life Markers.  Upon the demise of the bearer their Life Marker is recovered and enshrined on the Hound home world whenever possible. 

 

The Hounds do not maintain written accounts of their histories.  The Librarians of the Chapter sustain their oral histories through a type of chanting dance.  These histories are shared with the Chapter during their centennial gatherings at Hunt’s End.  Life Markers are entombed and new brandings are displayed during these recitations of past honors. 

 

The average Hound displays a fierce pride and brutal honesty.  The Hounds are starkly pragmatic, respect martial skill and value artistic talent.  The Hounds see the protection of humanity as one of their most unbreakable tenets.  Despite the sanction of harming humans, the Hounds still consider their youngest members superior to any individual non-Astarte.  The Hounds are considered backward savages by Astartes of other Chapters and most Imperial organizations feel that they should be leashed for the protection of all.  

 

The Hounds and the Salamanders maintain a respectful tolerance.  This is due to the curse, the aggressive dominance instinct of the Hounds and the bastardized Promethean Cult they practice.  The Salamanders have made issue with the implantation rites of the Hounds, calling them barbaric and savage in their execution.  When the two Chapters fight together their fondness for humanity brings an uneasy truce for the duration of the conflict. 

 

Path of the Aspirant

 

Red Hands
While the Hounds never reformed a veteran company they do maintain bastardized Honor guard for their leaders. The Red Hands fulfil this role of veteran, judge, and executioner for the masters of the Chapter, Clans and Companies. These ferocious and stalwart warriors are veterans of multitudes of battlefields and each Red Hand has earned his rank by freeing one of his cursed brothers. Their shameful purpose is to prevent the leaders of the Hunt from destroying their brothers by falling to the curse. The fifteen oldest Red Hands of the Chapter are honored with the only Tactical Dreadnought Armor suits the Hounds possess.
A
spirants to the Hounds are abducted by the War Seers, Chaplains of the Chapter; the best hunters of the native tribes are taken and examined thoroughly for taint or weakness.  These reluctant recruits are apprenticed to a veteran Hound where he learns a form of artifice.  After one year of apprenticeship during which the aspirant has been exposed to the marvels of the Imperium of Man, he is offered the chance to become an initiate. 

 

The aspirants that agree to the trial are hung from two iron pegs driven through the flesh of their chests.  These aspirants must remain conscious chanting the history of their mentor from sunrise to sunset.  Those that fail or refuse are sent to the orbiting ships of the Hounds’ fleet to become serfs of the Chapter.  Those that succeed become initiates and begin the implantation process. 

 

During the years of Astarte organ implantation the initiates continue their apprenticeship.  Before the initiates receive the Progenoid organs and the Black Carapace they are sent on a hunt.  The initiate must retrieve a venom sac from one of the reptilian birds which dwell on the plains of Eametanene.  The initiate must then return to Hunt’s End where three Librarians of the Chapter known as Spirit Seers will order the initiate to ingest the venom and will probe his mind through a variety of visions.  If the fledgling Hound is deemed worthy he will receive the final implants. 

 

At this point the initiate has become a full battle brother and is joined to a squad where he will fight to prove his place.  These novice Hounds will not join a Clan until they have completed their apprenticeship by producing a work of artifice to gift to their master and have allowed at least one of their progenoids to mature.  The first mature Progenoid is removed to ensure that the Chapter can maintain its precious gene-seed stock. 

 

The Hounds do not muster a scout company.  All new Hounds join the assault squads where their jump pack charges can cause the most damage.  Due to the aggressiveness of the Hounds and the need to establish pack hierarchy the younger brothers are segregated from other Imperial forces.  Young Hounds instinctively start fights and become protective of their territory in the presence of other Astartes.  This pack hunter mentality manifests as chase games with human troops as the prey.  These games inevitably leave the Guardsman terrified beyond combat effectiveness, but seldom result in bloodshed. 

 

Combat Doctrine

 

Battle Practice
A people is not conquered until the hearts of its women are on the ground. Then it is finished, no matter how brave its warriors or how strong their weapons.
Eametanene tribal proverb
F
irst and foremost, the Hounds are pack hunters.  They prefer to flush their prey into the open and engage them with overwhelming numbers.  Their primary tactics focus on assault from ambush.  They have few vehicles and are primarily a foot mobile force.  They rely on stealth as they stalk their prey and only reveal themselves just before the kill. 

 

The Hounds distain the practice of camouflage armor schemes, instead they create hides from local materials and conceal the ambush portion of their forces. They hide their true numbers whenever possible, preferring to surprise their enemy. When forced to defend the Hounds will maintain half their numbers in reserve for a front-wide counter-attack. 

 

Whenever possible the Hounds hide their troop strength due to the dwindling numbers of brothers in the Chapter.  This has brought about the quarter-centennial crusades each Clan embarks on toward either the Maelstrom or the Eye of Terror.  The Clan structure hides their numbers and allows the Hounds to field at least one full strength company per Clan for each hunt. 

 

The Hounds have been noticed to engage in a high percentage of night fights.  It seems that whenever possible they delay their attack until night has fallen.  Few of the older Hounds have been witnessed without their helmets in sunlight; this has given rise to suspicion that the Hounds have developed vision impairment. 

 

Order of Battle

 

Chapter Symbol
gallery_48251_4884_1002.jpg
T
he Hounds of the Hunt follow the Codex Astartes as a loose guide to the prosecution of war.  Their organization is neither derived from the Salamanders nor directly from the Codex, but has evolved from their pragmatic view of combat and their tragic history.  The Chapter’s current muster incorporates five Clans, each composed of one Battle Company and a reinforcing Reserve company.  The First Clan is accompanied by
the Chapter Master and each of the Clans is led by a senior Hound bearing the title of First Hound, which equates to the old legionary rank of Lieutenant Commander. 

 

They maintain ten companies and the Chapter Master’s household, but they lack a veteran or scout company.  The Chapter’s leaders felt that their dwindling number of initiates were too vital to be placed in carapace armor.  This sentiment combined with the increased aggressiveness of the Hound younglings invoked the practice of new brothers joining assault squads.  With more veterans falling victim to the curse the veteran company was dispersed into each of the five battle clans. 

 

Each Battle company is roughly Codex adherent, if understrength.  These companies maintain a reduced number of devastator squads and have an organic veteran squad.  The Reserve Companies are composed of a 50/50 mix of tactical and assault squads.  The Company officers each belong to an understrength tactical squad. 

 

The Hounds only possess sixteen sets of tactical dreadnought armor which are some of the most revered artifacts of the Chapter with each suit a lavish masterpiece of the craft of artifice.  The Chapter also has a decreasing number of techmarines, known as Iron Seers.  It is believed that as attrition has taken most of their vehicles beyond repair and the Adeptus Mechanicus has not replaced them in equal numbers due to the Hounds’ unrelenting requests for earlier samples of their gene-seed. 

 

War Cry

W
hile chant-like songs and dance are part of the Hounds’ culture, they do not have a war cry. Due to their preference for assault from ambush any war cry would be somewhat counter-productive. Instead the single note of a hunting horn, carried by an Assault sergeant, is used to signal their attack. This lone note is commonly the last sound their prey ever hear.

Comments & Critique welcome (version 13.2)


Edited by Madwolf Shadowmane, 09 February 2014 - 03:07 AM.

  • Octavulg and Aqui like this

IA: Hounds of the Hunt          Working on the Hunt (W.I.P.)          The Hunt Begins...(Finished Minis)          IA: Lords of Dusk          Octaguide 2.0

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#2
Viray

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Excellent start; the article is very easy on the eyes.

Right now, the information is still a bit sparse for me to comment on anything meaningfully, so I'll just try to point out some little things that stood out to me.

First, an opinion: I really don't like the name of the Chapter Master or the Shadow Hunt's homeworld. Madwolf Shadowmane just seems incredibly cheesy, especially when one considers that the rest of the article contains countless instances of use of the terms "wolf" and "shadow." Also, the name Mortis has been used to death (lol) and seems like a rather unlikely thing to name a planet people live on. Granted, you did mention that the place is a dead rock, but there surely must be another name suited to the planet that hasn't already been seen in many other works. Of course, like I stated prior, these are just my opinions on the matter, so just go with what makes you happy.

Edit: Haha, I just noticed that your name was Madwolf Shadowmane. I didn't mean to insult ya personally :P

Another thing to note is your tendency to jam ideas into the same paragraph. Don't be afraid of splitting up your text a bit. Sure it will require that you expand on the ideas more to help them stand alone, but it will grant a greater sense of professionalism to your article and prove less confusing to your readers in the end.

Also, one line in your article about the use of swords could us a bit of touching up. The line "Therefore no Were shall carry or fight with a sword, to meet a foe with a sword is to battle an equal" had me confused the first time I read it and I had thought you had a few words missing. While I can see where you're going in the use of the term "Were," since it wasn't introduced prior to this mention, it comes as a sort of shock. I suggest introducing the term a bit earlier or else it will be strange seeing a member of the Shadow Hunt refer to himself as such.

Lastly, I have another suggestion to make which is again based soley on opinion. The battle cry "In the Shadows, no one can hear you scream" seems out of place as the mental images invoked do not seem to comply with the general idea of a battle cry, at least not to me. It seems more like a cautionary statement rather than a wrathful and/or inspiring declaration one would expect from a charging warrior.

Edited by Viray, 27 February 2010 - 02:32 AM.


#3
Madwolf Shadowmane

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Thank you for your comments, I'm still working out all the details and intend to flesh out the entire article. This is the third incarnation of this particular army. Some of the names are still there from the original. The wolf theme is intended. It should work better as I revise more of the article. I'm currently painting the first squad in this Chapter and I have to rework thigs on the models as I have inspiration. Please keep the comments coming.

IA: Hounds of the Hunt          Working on the Hunt (W.I.P.)          The Hunt Begins...(Finished Minis)          IA: Lords of Dusk          Octaguide 2.0

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#4
Madwolf Shadowmane

Madwolf Shadowmane

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Improved the Origins section and updated some of the names involved.

IA: Hounds of the Hunt          Working on the Hunt (W.I.P.)          The Hunt Begins...(Finished Minis)          IA: Lords of Dusk          Octaguide 2.0

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#5
NightrawenII

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Hmm, where to start...
I would like to repeat another (and more wise) brother; if every chapter was shrouded in mystery, we couldn't see in the Liber. Chapters with Cloak of Invisibility are the hardest to pull out right and I dare to say you failed. If you want to create mystery in IA, then don't slap the unknown into face of reader.

You have also too much eggs in one basket, so to speak. ie. fouding =unknown, origins of gene-seed=unknown, name=probably changed, origins of th "weres" tradition= unknown etc. etc.

Viray is right, Canis Wolfborn of the Space Wolves Chapter, riding on his giant thunderwolf to the battle is a bit lame.
Hutte des(??) Wachthunde for start. :P

Just explain the blank areas in your IA and it will be fine.

Edited by NightrawenII, 14 November 2010 - 11:51 AM.

It may seem counterintuitive but in ancient warfare, fleeing from battle was usually a good way to get oneself killed.
~ Jeffrey R. Cox - Cascading Failure: The Roman Disaster at Adrianople AD 378

 

Give the peasants neither life nor death.

~ Tokugawa Ieyasu

 

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

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#6
Madwolf Shadowmane

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less mystery more fluff. will continue to update as the ideas condense. Think you for your comments

IA: Hounds of the Hunt          Working on the Hunt (W.I.P.)          The Hunt Begins...(Finished Minis)          IA: Lords of Dusk          Octaguide 2.0

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#7
Kadris

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I agree on the less mystery/unknowns bit, but having some mystery is still good. The trade agreement with adeptus is a nice touch, though im not sure they can skimp the geneseed tithe as a result. unknown founding can be done to a point, but having an unknown geneseed is, as already stated, very hard to pull off. This doesnt mean you can add in mutations to make it suit your needs. It looks like you are making a space wolves themed chapter without making them founded from them (which doesnt happen so good work avoiding that one). Mutations can help allow that, just give them some fluff as to why they happened.

Your writing seems somewhat mechanical in a few spots, though i attribute that to the fact that this is a draft. Some people write drafts where they just put in ideas as they think them and then go back and rewrite them. What i mean is, "They call the Emperor Grandfather. They believe that all gene-seed should be recovered. They will stand to the last man to preserve the body of a fallen hero." looks like a checklist more than a description. Its great for drafts, just not as much for finals. I mention this because i nearly bombed an English paper because i submitted my draft, written like that from start to finish, on accident.

last thing, "For the Emperor and the Sire" looking forward to the fluff on Sire.
QUOTE (Brother-Captain Alecto @ Feb 15 2010, 04:31 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The kind of man who breaks Imperial law right next to 1000 Space Marines is the kind of man who has either A: balls of ceramite, or, more likely, B: is terminally moronic, and therefore unlikely to be a planetary governor.

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IA: Storm Scars

#8
Madwolf Shadowmane

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The Origins section is now fully fleshed, onwards to the Home World section

IA: Hounds of the Hunt          Working on the Hunt (W.I.P.)          The Hunt Begins...(Finished Minis)          IA: Lords of Dusk          Octaguide 2.0

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#9
Captain Juan Juarez

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The Origins section is now fully fleshed, onwards to the Home World section


Words you should not utter.. Because some enterprising fellow will come along and find something out of place *evil laughter here*.
" They made you to be untouched by God or mortal. As I cannot kill you, so I curse you, not with death but with life.

I curse you - with the pain of ten thousand days in the Dark Place, with the life's blood of a mage's sacrifice, with Death's authority held in my hands.

I curse you, and I strike your name from history, stripped of arrogance and pride, empty of the self you once knew, gutted of all you are. I take your name and all you have won by the strength of your hand. I curse you for eternity, to find only darkness where once you knew your own face.

And I dub you the Ragged Man."

#10
Grey Hunter Ydalir

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There is very little information in Imperial records about the Shadow Hunt.


Rubbish, there are plenty. They know when they were founded, what they were founded to do, when they departed, when they arrived, what equipment they were given and how many men they had when they left. They know where to send your chapters supplies (that the chapter depends on to function). Your chapter still pays tithe to the Adeptus Mechanicus for geneseed so they have records on your genetic purity and if you got too mysterious for their liking, an Inquisitor would likely be off to investigate. If your chapter fights on any imperial world for any reason it will be recorded, eventually.

The Imperium is one giant beaurocracy and one thing a beaurocracy is good at is keeping records, even if they have trouble finding them afterwards. The AdMech are similarly anal-retentive about their information gathering and seeing they are more machine than human they would have an affinity for it.

There is only so much of a recluse you can be while still fighting for the Imperium/Emperor/Humanity.

Finding a chapter for an investigator isn't the hard part. Getting any information from the naturally tight-lipped Astartes is the key, since they are not required by any law or pact to exchange what they consider to be private information.

It seems that the Mechanium cannot isolate any particular progenitor chapter. Their gene-seed seems to have genetic similarities to all nine loyalist legions.


If this is true then they would be watched even more closely for either signs of latent mutation, for signs of deception in the tithe or even outright investigated if the AdMech had no records of it's own shenanigans. If this chapter is part of the Cursed Founding this all works out a lot better. If it is part of the Dark Founding then perhaps equally so, and that would explain most of your chapters missing records. Most of them.

It is thought by some in the Adeptus Administratum, that they were formed in either the second or third founding. To date the Mechanicus has been unable to identify the origins of their gene-seed.


The Second founding is when they broke up the original Legions, there was no geneseed manipulation and definetly no mixing, expecially not in the wake of the Heresy. The records on the Second Founding are pretty much set in stone for DIY purposes.

The third founding was also fairly well documented, or as were all of the foundings apart from the Dark and Cursed foundings, so far as we know.

The Shadow Hunt also seems to have some taboo against the use of swords as no battle brother has been seen with one in his possession.


Yeah? And? So what? This is not explained, qualified and simply there for... no real reason. It adds nothing at all.


Overall I'm seeing far too much of the typical 'awesomeness' of your chapter and less about what makes them truly interesting. Virtualy no characterisation, no depth in their cultural heritage. It's all being wasted on describing just how awesome they are and you're losing what makes a chapter what it is. You've got so much BBCode, lots of tables, images, headers and such but the content is lacking. You don't need the polish till the chapter itself is far further down the road than you are now.


Also I really think the purple in your colour scheme should go. It just doesn't look quite right and doesn't fit any of the other colours used on the model. It both makes it look busy and slightly off at the same time, which isn't great.


I hope you work around these issues to create an interesting chapter because it has the potential to be good.

The Octaguide.
The Thousand Marine Myth.

On the scale mismatch of bolts and bolters by Coldfyre

Commissar Molotov's Castigators - Essential reading for IA Creation.

"...I have seen the birth of this world and I have seen its death. I walked with the first men and I shared a beer with the last. For me everyone is both old and young at the same time as a million lifetimes pass before my eyes and humanity is like the grains of sand in the desert, each breath to me a sigh in the vast never-ending vacumn of space."
-Silver Phoenix


#11
Captain Juan Juarez

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Without wishing to be harsh... Told you so :)

Pretty sure your Chapter can't claim to be "the Emperor's first Wolves...", fairly sure that accolade lays at the door of the Fang.

Also... I don't think the eight colours you have on your scheme, not including the Bolter, are really needed.

Edited by Captain Juan Juarez, 02 March 2010 - 05:11 PM.

" They made you to be untouched by God or mortal. As I cannot kill you, so I curse you, not with death but with life.

I curse you - with the pain of ten thousand days in the Dark Place, with the life's blood of a mage's sacrifice, with Death's authority held in my hands.

I curse you, and I strike your name from history, stripped of arrogance and pride, empty of the self you once knew, gutted of all you are. I take your name and all you have won by the strength of your hand. I curse you for eternity, to find only darkness where once you knew your own face.

And I dub you the Ragged Man."

#12
Ace Debonair

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That's not a bad start.

But you seem to be intending the entire chapter to deploy into one fight; something that doesn't happen often.

Remember - these are Space Marines. They are the elite few, and a company of such is more than capable of tackling most missions.
It might be better to say each clan has a slight leaning in favour of each of the proposed tactics.

With regards to the colour scheme - I for one encourage brightly coloured marines. But if it were my decision, I'd take out the grey on the backpack, and the helmet colours, and make them colours used elsewhere on the model. It's up to you at the end of the day, though, and if you really like your colour scheme then by all means run with it! :P

I look forward to seeing you expand this chapter. It could prove to be very good with some work.

#13
Madwolf Shadowmane

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I greatly appreciate the constructive criticism. The only section that I would consider mostly done at this point is the Origins. Everything else is only a raw skeleton and there will be more to come. As to the color scheme, the purple was actually is shadow grey on the minature and the grey is boltgun metal.

Also... I don't think the eight colours you have on your scheme, not including the Bolter, are really needed.

How many colors are "needed" in a scheme?

Overall I'm seeing far too much of the typical 'awesomeness' of your chapter and less about what makes them truly interesting. Virtualy no characterisation, no depth in their cultural heritage. It's all being wasted on describing just how awesome they are and you're losing what makes a chapter what it is.

What exactly about this so far points to the awesomeness of this Chapter? This particular comment is not very helpful as written. I'll need some specifics to be able to evaluate its worth.

I am continuing to update and add to it as I go.

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#14
Captain Juan Juarez

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Also... I don't think the eight colours you have on your scheme, not including the Bolter, are really needed.

How many colors are "needed" in a scheme?


It's more a matter of what works.. Do you need eight colours? even if some are just lenses, etc?
" They made you to be untouched by God or mortal. As I cannot kill you, so I curse you, not with death but with life.

I curse you - with the pain of ten thousand days in the Dark Place, with the life's blood of a mage's sacrifice, with Death's authority held in my hands.

I curse you, and I strike your name from history, stripped of arrogance and pride, empty of the self you once knew, gutted of all you are. I take your name and all you have won by the strength of your hand. I curse you for eternity, to find only darkness where once you knew your own face.

And I dub you the Ragged Man."

#15
Oelber

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To me the biggest problem with the color scheme is it doesn't seem very shadowy. I'm extremely confident in my ability to see that color scheme moving about in the dark and if I fail to do so I probably deserve to get killed.

#16
Madwolf Shadowmane

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Ok, got it, its not a stealthy color scheme. Gonna stick with it because I've already started repainting my army.

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#17
Dark Apostle Thirst

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Also... I don't think the eight colours you have on your scheme, not including the Bolter, are really needed.

How many colors are "needed" in a scheme?


It's more a matter of what works.. Do you need eight colours? even if some are just lenses, etc?


I generally use only three: Halves/quarters (depends on the scheme), and spot color. You have two colors that compliment each other, and are used the most and equally with each other. The spot color is the things like the lenses and the eagle/skull. This shouldn't stand out to much, but should be easy and are generally drybrushed onto the wings/skull, and the eye peices are blended, slowly becoming white the closer to they get to the back of skull. Unfortunately, that can only be shown only on the actual model, but keep it in mind none the less.

#18
Madwolf Shadowmane

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Thank you for the comments. Keep them coming. I have now updated the home world section. The next section I will work on will be the beliefs section. I plan to spend alot of time on this section as I feel this is where the character of my Chapter will best be presented.

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#19
eldarranger

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First off I like your Chapter overall, ;) but I would remove the quote insulting the space wolves, i can see that your trying to be "wolfy" without being a sucsesor chapter of them, but the space wolves are one of the first founding legions and usually don't take kindly to being called names.

#20
NightrawenII

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Their gene-seed seems to have genetic similarities to all nine loyalist legions.

I beg to delete this line. What Grey Hunter Ydalir said. + We actually don't know, HOW the gene-seed difference from legion to legion, so its possible that there is not a "visible" distinction between DA and UM zygote.

It is thought by some in the Adeptus Administratum, that they were formed in either the second or third founding. To date the Mechanicus has been unable to identify the origins of their gene-seed.

Damn you, Grey Hunter Ydalir! You take words from my mouth!

There also seems to have been a gene-seed mutation early in the history of the Chapter, this mutation is stable, but its impact on the physiology of the space marines is unconfirmed. The Shadow Hunt gene-seed stock has been isolated and placed in stasis.

Redundant. If you have nothing to say about it, then don't say it at all.

Once a verdant jungle world, the flora and fauna was burned to ash when the Dark Hound crashed into its surface. The blast of the impact vaporized the atmosphere of the planet. The crash site of the once majestic battle barge is where they built their fortress-monastery. From the wreckage they began the construction.

Debatable, there is another occasion in official material, where the Battle Ship crashed on the surface of planet. Nothing happened at all.

The Shadow Hunt is a non-codex chapter. The chapter is composed of six companies called Clans. Each clan has a specific combat role. The High Wolf Clan is the clan of the Hunt Chief and contains the Society Chiefs. They act as a reserve company entering battle where they can make the biggest impact. The White Wolf Clan is composed of the most veteran troops in the Chapter. They are shock troops used to overwhelm an objective with extreme force. The Twilight Wolf Clan is the space faring unit of the chapter. They specialize in ship to ship fighting. The Striking Wolf Clan is the masters of planet strikes. They deploy from drop pods and are the first to attack in planetary assaults. The Guardian Wolf Clan is the defense specialists. They are responsible for the security of the Shadow Realm. The Running Wolf Clan is the armored spearhead of the chapter. They break sieges and secure all hardened objectives.

So what happen, when the Twilight Wolf Clan make a planetstrike or when The Striking Wolf Clan need to besiege enemy or... or when the Guardian Wolf Clan is called to war etc. etc.
The Space marines don't specialize or don't have specialists per se. Thats the hallmark of being Space Marine. ;) But they often prefer some kind of weaponry, wargear or tactic. La nuance in the wording. :tu:

How many colors are "needed" in a scheme?
The official Chapter have often 1-2 main colours and 1 additional colour.

Edited by NightrawenII, 04 March 2010 - 09:00 AM.

It may seem counterintuitive but in ancient warfare, fleeing from battle was usually a good way to get oneself killed.
~ Jeffrey R. Cox - Cascading Failure: The Roman Disaster at Adrianople AD 378

 

Give the peasants neither life nor death.

~ Tokugawa Ieyasu

 

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

~ Blaise Pascal


#21
Captain Juan Juarez

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The Shadow Hunt is a non-codex chapter. The chapter is composed of six companies called Clans. Each clan has a specific combat role. The High Wolf Clan is the clan of the Hunt Chief and contains the Society Chiefs. They act as a reserve company entering battle where they can make the biggest impact. The White Wolf Clan is composed of the most veteran troops in the Chapter. They are shock troops used to overwhelm an objective with extreme force. The Twilight Wolf Clan is the space faring unit of the chapter. They specialize in ship to ship fighting. The Striking Wolf Clan is the masters of planet strikes. They deploy from drop pods and are the first to attack in planetary assaults. The Guardian Wolf Clan is the defense specialists. They are responsible for the security of the Shadow Realm. The Running Wolf Clan is the armored spearhead of the chapter. They break sieges and secure all hardened objectives.

So what happen, when the Twilight Wolf Clan make a planetstrike or when The Striking Wolf Clan need to besiege enemy or... or when the Guardian Wolf Clan is called to war etc. etc.
The Space marines don't specialize or don't have specialists per se. Thats the hallmark of being Space Marine. ;) But they often prefer some kind of weaponry, wargear or tactic. La nuance in the wording. :P


I would say that you should maintain the individual Companies, please drop the really dodgy names though, but istead of each being individual have them as specialists with a sprinling of other specialities.

i.e. Bravo Company are Ship-to-Ship experts, but only 50-60% are made up of those with that sole training, the other 40-50% is made of troops trained by other Companies but given added Bravo training on top.
" They made you to be untouched by God or mortal. As I cannot kill you, so I curse you, not with death but with life.

I curse you - with the pain of ten thousand days in the Dark Place, with the life's blood of a mage's sacrifice, with Death's authority held in my hands.

I curse you, and I strike your name from history, stripped of arrogance and pride, empty of the self you once knew, gutted of all you are. I take your name and all you have won by the strength of your hand. I curse you for eternity, to find only darkness where once you knew your own face.

And I dub you the Ragged Man."

#22
Madwolf Shadowmane

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The section about the company battle roles is not fleshed out at all. I appreciate the comments, but there are alot of assumptions being made from the barest descriptions. I will be adding to the belief section next then the organization section.

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#23
Captain Juan Juarez

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The section about the company battle roles is not fleshed out at all. I appreciate the comments, but there are alot of assumptions being made from the barest descriptions. I will be adding to the belief section next then the organization section.


We can only assume if you don't explain <_<
" They made you to be untouched by God or mortal. As I cannot kill you, so I curse you, not with death but with life.

I curse you - with the pain of ten thousand days in the Dark Place, with the life's blood of a mage's sacrifice, with Death's authority held in my hands.

I curse you, and I strike your name from history, stripped of arrogance and pride, empty of the self you once knew, gutted of all you are. I take your name and all you have won by the strength of your hand. I curse you for eternity, to find only darkness where once you knew your own face.

And I dub you the Ragged Man."

#24
Madwolf Shadowmane

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Belief section expanded. Hoping for feedback, please.

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#25
Ace Debonair

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Your beliefs appear to consist largely of more Organisation. :P

I don't really get it. Your marines all have different titles from the norm and your companies all specialise in different things, and it just seems too complicated and a bit unneccesary.

Add to that, you spend a few lines talking about what they do and then display the exact same information in a table underneath it.

Also, your Combat Doctrine is only one line. :)
So that's probably where the details of what the companies actually do should go. ;)





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