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...I'm going to regret this, aren't I? :lol:

 

Yes ... yes you are.

 

Well, at least you're honest about it. :lol:

 

Now on to the bad stuff. The IK view on Dreads does not match their use of parts from fallen brother. How you ask, well if a SM gets new body parts, there is no need for a Dread body to keep him alive. See what I mean?

 

And the ones who are badly injured all-over?

I should probably stress that the surgeries are pretty time-consuming, actually. That seems to have been chopped by mistake.

The idea was that sometimes Dreadnought-hood is the only way to ensure survival.

 

I think one of the short areas that could use some extra would be homeworld, also you could delve more into the flaw that has developed.

 

Homeworld, eh?

Fair enough. I'll work out what relevant stuff I can slot in there.

 

Pics seem to have suffered the update flaw. It reverses pic and label ... only way I know to fix is to repost from a word doc every time. (EDIT: You fixed while I was typing)

 

I wasn't editing this while you were typing... :D

 

How does your taking the UM 2nd Company Captain affect our new Community Project? It may not, just wondering if you'd checked.

 

It doesn't, unless Captain whatshisface for the Community thing was taken from around the 9th founding times.

If he was, then I'll change my guy to 3rd Company.

 

I hate the color scheme, but its not mine so who cares.

Interesting fact, Octavulg once joked that he'd marry that colour scheme.

 

All I have ... see not TOO bad :P

 

Useful stuff - always helpful to get outside perspectives. Bits I *think* are fine often turn out to be awful when looked at from another angle.

I'll stick an update on this tomorrow, Emperor willing. ^_^

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983.M35, Captain Maro Aquilinus of the Ultramarines turned from his Chapter and the Imperium. So you have plenty of time ... just wondered if you'd checked on it -_-

 

And as I said on the theme, its yours and you can color them however you want. I'd never call someone out on their theme and say you couldn't use it ... I'm just saying I wouldn't use it.

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Looks good but as others said it is a bit short. Maybe add a sidebar of fluff or something. As for Beliefs how do they view the Emperor and the rest of the Imperium? I agree with Ecritter on the Homeworld section too.

 

(Now I should do something on my Chapter but it's like trying to get past an invisible wall...)

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The Chapter's theme is interesting and pretty solid. The article is a bit on the short side but, as my own preference, I have no issues with an IA that is short while also conveying the concept of the Chapter. I'd much rather have an interesting article with 1,000 words over an article with 10,000 words that I have to slog through in order to finish. I'd much rather leave people wanting more than tire my reader out on the first go; if people want to know more, you can always write stories or create sidebars or manufacture addendum articles on more specific topics related to the Chapter.

 

However, I do find the article lacking a certain something. As I said, the theme is good but as a whole it's lacking a feeling of "oomph". There's nothing that really grabs me about the Infinity Knights. I think the core could use a bit of a workout in order to satiate that need. Let me begin by discussing a few concerns I have with the basic idea of organ swapping.

 

It seems that it would create a lot of problems, and would be an extremely difficult process. Today, medical science struggles to implant organs between closely-related family members. I can't imagine how hard it would be to transplant an entire limb into another person whose only relation is that they grew up on the same planet. Also, consider that the Space Marine physique is extremely adept at eliminating contaminants; these include things like poisons and disease, but new organs and limbs would also be considered an invading entity and an Astartes' immune system would do everything it could to fight it. Granted, science in the 41st millennium is more advanced than our own. However, if transplants such as this could take place then I wonder why the surgery wouldn't be used with greater frequency over artificial implants. To me, this would be a much better way instead of mechanical alternatives since you wouldn't have to worry about things like constant maintenance, power failure or finding another way to keep the power armor sealed in a vacuum. Perhaps, instead of replacing every part you could focus more on transplanting Astartes organs (Second Heart, Third Lung, et cetera) which are designed to be grown and placed into different bodies. These are also what makes them Astartes to begin with, so they are trading off the strongest parts of themselves as opposed to just an arm or leg which any mortal can supply.

 

I also question the concept of "Wandering Companies". If the Chapter feels a need to roam while also keeping an eye on their home territory, they could simply do what most Chapters would do in that situation; rotate Battle Companies between duties. Sometimes the Second and Third could be out running around, then they could switch off with the Fourth and Fifth while they replenish casualties and restock equipment. The concept of the Wandering Companies, as they stand now, seems unnecessarily complicated. The entire First Company has been disbanded for a reason that's not really explained, you end up taking the Fourth and Fifth anyway as Wanderers and you cut yourself down to only two Reserve companies. That means casualties are going to be much more difficult to replace, especially since Tactical Squads do the brunt of the fighting and now you only have half as many to back them up. If you switch to a more simple concept of just rotating standard Battle Companies, it removes a lot of the confusing explanation and justification you have now and you can focus more on why they use these Wandering Companies.

 

At first, I didn't much like the idea of a general degradation in geneseed. It seemed thrown in at last minute and begs for more information. However, the more I think about the concept the more I like it. This is Roboute geneseed we're talking about and straight from the Ultramarines themselves; this is perhaps the most stable geneseed of all the Primarchs. Yet, here we see degradation across the board; not just the loss of one or two organs that don't really matter (If you believe the Imperial Fists) or just make your skin a funny color (Raven Guard and Salamanders). Every single one of the geneseed organs is losing stability, which would include things like the Black Carapace which, if it fails, means you don't have Space Marines. You have really ugly Storm Troopers. This, I feel, could go a long way to giving your Chapter more "oomph" and adding some character. Right now, I'm imagining a fission growing within the Infinity Knights. On the one side, I see the Chapter Master and Captains and Chaplains who are very concerned about the history of the Chapter, and their rituals and traditions. On the other side, I see the Apothecaries (and perhaps Techmarines, on behalf of the Mechanicus) who are very concerned about the future of the Chapter, and retaining practicality and ensuring the purity of the geneseed. As this degradation continues, the Apothecaries begin to speak against this tradition (Damning, since they are the ones required to do it). This is, of course, met with skepticism and a wave of the hand from command elements of the Chapter. Tensions are mounting and a storm of revolution is brewing on the horizon. Lines are becoming drawn, oaths are being made. Which is more important, the Chapter's future or the Chapter's past? Infinity extends in both directions, after all.

 

This would make your article something of a snap-shot of your Chapter in the midst of change. Change is not something we see much in IAs, at least not in the present tense. Usually the Chapter is functioning the same way now as it has for centuries or millennia and, if change ever did occur then it happened a long, long time ago and no one worries about it now. You could give your article a bit more life in this regard, as opposed to the stagnant nature of most articles we see on the Liber. A poster before me mentioned something about a concept to Nurgle and, if you decided to pursue that, you would have a certain theme of stagnation versus change going on as well. Though, personally I don't think the Nurgle connection is necessary since the Imperium is perfectly capable of being stagnant and unchanging on its own.

 

I think something along those lines would inject a lot of interest into your Infinity Knights, and really build your Chapter as a three-dimensional entity rather than "organ swappers" which is what most of the article deals with now. The facts are there and the concept is there. You just need the depth to give it life.

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As for the sibling limb donations ... SMs are siblings in the fact that their DNA has been altered, so it should work at least in a SciFi setting.
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Looks good but as others said it is a bit short. Maybe add a sidebar of fluff or something. As for Beliefs how do they view the Emperor and the rest of the Imperium? I agree with Ecritter on the Homeworld section too.

Oh, good one.

Not sure how that got left out.

However, I do find the article lacking a certain something. As I said, the theme is good but as a whole it's lacking a feeling of "oomph". There's nothing that really grabs me about the Infinity Knights. I think the core could use a bit of a workout in order to satiate that need. Let me begin by discussing a few concerns I have with the basic idea of organ swapping.

 

It seems that it would create a lot of problems, and would be an extremely difficult process. Today, medical science struggles to implant organs between closely-related family members. I can't imagine how hard it would be to transplant an entire limb into another person whose only relation is that they grew up on the same planet.

 

Well, technology and science had a long while to move on before everything collapsed. I'd put forward the theory that not everything was lost, and hope that passes muster, but I doubt it will.

I don't really know enough about medicine or Marine Astartes Biology to explain how they'd get it to work, though, so my best bet is probably to avoid details. :sweat:

Also, consider that the Space Marine physique is extremely adept at eliminating contaminants; these include things like poisons and disease, but new organs and limbs would also be considered an invading entity and an Astartes' immune system would do everything it could to fight it. Granted, science in the 41st millennium is more advanced than our own. However, if transplants such as this could take place then I wonder why the surgery wouldn't be used with greater frequency over artificial implants. To me, this would be a much better way instead of mechanical alternatives since you wouldn't have to worry about things like constant maintenance, power failure or finding another way to keep the power armor sealed in a vacuum. Perhaps, instead of replacing every part you could focus more on transplanting Astartes organs (Second Heart, Third Lung, et cetera) which are designed to be grown and placed into different bodies. These are also what makes them Astartes to begin with, so they are trading off the strongest parts of themselves as opposed to just an arm or leg which any mortal can supply.

 

Heh, one of the ideas I cut away was that the geneseed mutation was a double-edged sword - on the one hand, organ failure. On the other hand, higher likelihood of transplants working out.

Seems like a really convenient benefit, though, so I cut it.

 

My other option, besides making the process very time-consuming, is to have it require some wacky-STC-based-medical-facility that nobody else really uses because the standard medical bay is more suited for quick work or something.

 

I think I might be best served spending a few words about how difficult and time-consuming the surgeries are.

I've got to catch you on that last bit, though. Astartes are bigger than mortals - they'd have odd-size legs if they used normal humans. :lol:

I also question the concept of "Wandering Companies". If the Chapter feels a need to roam while also keeping an eye on their home territory, they could simply do what most Chapters would do in that situation; rotate Battle Companies between duties. Sometimes the Second and Third could be out running around, then they could switch off with the Fourth and Fifth while they replenish casualties and restock equipment. The concept of the Wandering Companies, as they stand now, seems unnecessarily complicated. The entire First Company has been disbanded for a reason that's not really explained, you end up taking the Fourth and Fifth anyway as Wanderers and you cut yourself down to only two Reserve companies. That means casualties are going to be much more difficult to replace, especially since Tactical Squads do the brunt of the fighting and now you only have half as many to back them up. If you switch to a more simple concept of just rotating standard Battle Companies, it removes a lot of the confusing explanation and justification you have now and you can focus more on why they use these Wandering Companies.

 

Hmm.

When you put it like that, it does seem kind of odd. :ermm:

 

I wanted the IK aware that less reserves made it harder to recover from heavy losses, but couldn't find a way of succintly putting it in the IA. Sidebar?

 

I was also originally intending for the subtext to be that they're spreading themselves too thinly, and suffering for it, but a lot of that has been cut out. :tu:

At first, I didn't much like the idea of a general degradation in geneseed. It seemed thrown in at last minute and begs for more information. However, the more I think about the concept the more I like it. This is Roboute geneseed we're talking about and straight from the Ultramarines themselves; this is perhaps the most stable geneseed of all the Primarchs. Yet, here we see degradation across the board; not just the loss of one or two organs that don't really matter (If you believe the Imperial Fists) or just make your skin a funny color (Raven Guard and Salamanders). Every single one of the geneseed organs is losing stability, which would include things like the Black Carapace which, if it fails, means you don't have Space Marines. You have really ugly Storm Troopers. This, I feel, could go a long way to giving your Chapter more "oomph" and adding some character. Right now, I'm imagining a fission growing within the Infinity Knights. On the one side, I see the Chapter Master and Captains and Chaplains who are very concerned about the history of the Chapter, and their rituals and traditions. On the other side, I see the Apothecaries (and perhaps Techmarines, on behalf of the Mechanicus) who are very concerned about the future of the Chapter, and retaining practicality and ensuring the purity of the geneseed. As this degradation continues, the Apothecaries begin to speak against this tradition (Damning, since they are the ones required to do it). This is, of course, met with skepticism and a wave of the hand from command elements of the Chapter. Tensions are mounting and a storm of revolution is brewing on the horizon. Lines are becoming drawn, oaths are being made. Which is more important, the Chapter's future or the Chapter's past? Infinity extends in both directions, after all.

 

You've lost me a bit here.

Is the idea there meant to be the apothecaries think the organ-transplanting etc is responsible for the geneseed failure?

 

This would make your article something of a snap-shot of your Chapter in the midst of change. Change is not something we see much in IAs, at least not in the present tense. Usually the Chapter is functioning the same way now as it has for centuries or millennia and, if change ever did occur then it happened a long, long time ago and no one worries about it now. You could give your article a bit more life in this regard, as opposed to the stagnant nature of most articles we see on the Liber. A poster before me mentioned something about a concept to Nurgle and, if you decided to pursue that, you would have a certain theme of stagnation versus change going on as well. Though, personally I don't think the Nurgle connection is necessary since the Imperium is perfectly capable of being stagnant and unchanging on its own.

 

I think something along those lines would inject a lot of interest into your Infinity Knights, and really build your Chapter as a three-dimensional entity rather than "organ swappers" which is what most of the article deals with now. The facts are there and the concept is there. You just need the depth to give it life.

It would be ironic in the extreme to have a chapter named after 'infinity' recorded in the midst of an upheaval.

 

However, to be blunt, I don't think I could pull this off.

I'm going to have enough problems to cope with in the IA (mostly the organ stuff, I suspect) without building up a schism in the ranks.

 

As for the sibling limb donations ... SMs are siblings in the fact that their DNA has been altered, so it should work at least in a SciFi setting.

That's a good point. They've all got something other than homeworld in common.

 

Even so, I am SO steering clear of going into any detail on the procedures involved. :P

 

 

Much to think about, certainly.

Needs more homeworld detail, explanation of why the bio-limb-replacement isn't widespread in the Imperium, and the way the IK look at other Imperial factions.

 

Methinks the second part will be the source of headaches.

Edited by Ace Debonair
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The B&C Community has disappointed me today. How you ask.

 

You've taken something SMs do regularly and extended it. SMs already harvest organs (geneseed) and put them in other people. So taking an arm or a leg or any other organ would just be an extension of this and I can easily see it working.

 

But when I spend long hours that drug on into day comtemplating and researching the viabilty of having my SMs (Sons of Pyron) doing something completely new (Eugenics Program). No one even asked how it'd work.

 

Shame on you B&C.

 

EDIT:

 

I've caught your type ninjas .... dang.

Edited by Ecritter
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The B&C Community has disappointed me today. How you ask.

 

You've taken something SMs do regularly and extended it. SMs already harvest organs (geneseed) and put them in other people. So taking an arm or a leg or any other organ would just be an extension of this and I can easily see it working.

 

But when I spend long hours that drug on into day comtemplating and researching the viabilty of having my SMs (Sons of Pyron) doing something completely new (Eugenics Program). No one even asked how it'd work.

 

Shame on you B&C.

 

EDIT:

 

I've caught your type ninjas .... dang.

 

There's a lesson to be learned here, and it's this.

Ace Debonair cannot get away with anything. :P

 

EDIT: There's probably dire prophecies about what happens if one of my ideas goes unchallenged. :)

Edited by Ace Debonair
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I'm very glad to see these guys being worked on again :P . So, let's see what I can say to help.

 

First off, I'd like to comment on something aesthetic. It doesn't matter much, but I'd rather see the shoulder pad colors reversed, with blue on blue and beige on beige. That's just me.

 

I'll just go through what I read.

 

1. You say that they were "assigned" their home world. Is this just improper word choice, and if not, how would they take to that assignment?

 

2. Why did they raise the question to travel further? I understand helping other Imperials, but they have a duty to protect their region.

 

3. The spread of veterans is already similar to what most chapters do with their first company, why does yours need to be divided?

 

4. Considering the wandering nature, taking recruits should be a priority, and the tenth company should be over strength, not under.

 

5. Perhaps a part of the recruitment trial should actually be getting to the isolated location, just a thought.

 

6. I don't quite understand what you mean by gene-seed degredation. Why do you want to reduce the number of psykers in the chapter?

 

Now, some comments and suggestions.

 

I have no quarrel with the beliefs and rituals with using body parts from other marines. However, it does not align with the use of Dreadnoughts. The marines who give themselves to be used to repair their brothers are sacrificing their flesh so that it can be used to continue the war for humanity. They are dead, but they still give. A Dreadnought is not dead. He only continues to give his service in battle. They serve their chapter, but in different ways. Dreadnoughts are naturally revered, since to be eligible to be entombed a marine must be mortally wounded and be worthy of the honor.

 

In my mind, your Chapter's Organization should be very different with the introduction of the Wandering Companies, but not the way you present it. We both know that a normal chapter has 1 veteran company (1), 4 battle companies (2-5), 4reserve companies (6-9), and 1 neophyte company (10).

 

Your Chapter has 3 battle companies (1-3), 2 reserve companies (8-9), 1 neophyte company (10), and 4 wandering companies (4-7). I already stated my opinion that the neophyte company should be larger, I hold this belief for all crusading chapters. However, I also believe that your chapter should divert more from the codex, perhaps taking on extra companies, not rearranging their existing organization. Furthermore, I'm confused as to why you want the Wandering Companies, which were originally your idea for your Chapter's representatives, to have a large following of neophytes.

 

In other words, I believe your chapter should have: 1 veteran company (first), 4 battle companies (2-5), 4 reserve companies (6-9), and 1 neophyte company (10), with a mention of veterans, reserves, and neophytes being assigned to the four battle companies. In addition to these, the chapter's Wandering Companies should be additional companies, breaking the limits of the codex astartes with unofficial marines embodying the chapter cult that the Infinity Knights have a duty to the entirety of the Imperium.

 

As for why the idea even arises, perhaps the Infinity Knights were very good at clearing their initial responsibility, and just kept going. Eventually, they would be fighting in space far from Ashar, still holding true to their ideals. When they realize that the greater majority of the Imperium still needs them, the ideas could split the Chapter between those who want to hold true to the codex, and those who want to extend their influence. There could even be an episode of humor where several companies break away from the chapter to "wander" without consent, the chapter believes them gone and rebuilds to fill their ranks, and then the companies, to their surprise, return.

 

Otherwise, just some notes, I guess.

 

You regularly mention these heavy casualties and what not. In my mind, casualties are not really in the mindset of Space Marines. That is, to say as an example, in Horus Rising, Loken mentions some stray dead marines in the city of False Terra. Altogether, there are maybe 3 that he sees. Infinity Knights may not care about taking casualties, and believe that they are servants of the greater Imperium and humanity. Regularly mentioning heavy casualties is going to leave you with an empty chapter. Mentioning Marines who do not care about risks makes them noble, albeit reckless, but noble nonetheless.

 

So, what's the plan for which Wandering Companies are going to accompany the Executors?

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First off, I'd like to comment on something aesthetic. It doesn't matter much, but I'd rather see the shoulder pad colors reversed, with blue on blue and beige on beige. That's just me.

 

The colours are pretty much here to stay this time 'round.

The fact that some people don't like 'em just means less chance of someone duplicating the scheme. :lol:

 

1. You say that they were "assigned" their home world. Is this just improper word choice, and if not, how would they take to that assignment?

 

I suspect their mission of 'reinforce sector X' would be harder if they were based in sector Y a good distance away.

 

Equally, I'd find it most unusual if every Astartes homeworld was discovered by the Astartes who eventually recruit from it. Perhaps a cunning inquisitor made a note that the population of Ashar would be a good recruiting ground. Heck, perhaps another Chapter recruited there once and communicated that it'd make a damn fine homeworld for some other Chapter. :P

 

2. Why did they raise the question to travel further? I understand helping other Imperials, but they have a duty to protect their region.

 

Some felt they had accomplished their goals, and should look to expand their area of effect, others felt that they hadn't fulfilled their mission because they hadn't spread out enough, that sort of thing. I should stress that more in the IA, right?

 

6. I don't quite understand what you mean by gene-seed degredation. Why do you want to reduce the number of psykers in the chapter?

 

I've got more dreadnoughts and some pretty radical apothecaries.

It's probably a good idea to impose some kind of penalty to avoid the 'awesome'. :P

 

 

I have no quarrel with the beliefs and rituals with using body parts from other marines. However, it does not align with the use of Dreadnoughts. The marines who give themselves to be used to repair their brothers are sacrificing their flesh so that it can be used to continue the war for humanity. They are dead, but they still give. A Dreadnought is not dead. He only continues to give his service in battle. They serve their chapter, but in different ways. Dreadnoughts are naturally revered, since to be eligible to be entombed a marine must be mortally wounded and be worthy of the honor.

 

The mortally-wounded part is the important part.

In those cases, the dreadnought is extending the worthy marine's life beyond what he'd naturally have. He's staving off death with one hand and using the other to punch humanity's enemies in the face.

 

In other words, the entombed should be dead, but is still active and playing a very important role within the chapter. That's the intended link, pretty much. Does that need playing up more in the IA?

 

In my mind, your Chapter's Organization should be very different with the introduction of the Wandering Companies, but not the way you present it. ...

 

In other words, I believe your chapter should have: 1 veteran company (first), 4 battle companies (2-5), 4 reserve companies (6-9), and 1 neophyte company (10), with a mention of veterans, reserves, and neophytes being assigned to the four battle companies. In addition to these, the chapter's Wandering Companies should be additional companies, breaking the limits of the codex astartes with unofficial marines embodying the chapter cult that the Infinity Knights have a duty to the entirety of the Imperium.

 

So... instead of reorganizing the Chapter, they should just have more marines.

 

My view on this idea is pretty straightforward:

Heck. No.

 

It's one of the things I dislike people doing in DIYs. It's one of the things I dislike about the Templars and the Space Wolves, if it comes to that.

I'd be ashamed of myself for writing an over-sized Chapter.

 

 

I'm sort of considering just cutting the Wandering Companies and having the battle companies striking out instead. I'm sure that would generate all kinds of new problems, but hey ho.

 

And there aren't really large amounts of neophytes with the Wandering Companies. I'm not sure where you got that idea from, to be honest. There's a couple of scout squads per Wandering Company, leaving the 10th company presence back home a bit sparse and under-sized, but that's all.

 

You regularly mention these heavy casualties and what not. In my mind, casualties are not really in the mindset of Space Marines. That is, to say as an example, in Horus Rising, Loken mentions some stray dead marines in the city of False Terra. Altogether, there are maybe 3 that he sees. Infinity Knights may not care about taking casualties, and believe that they are servants of the greater Imperium and humanity. Regularly mentioning heavy casualties is going to leave you with an empty chapter. Mentioning Marines who do not care about risks makes them noble, albeit reckless, but noble nonetheless.

 

So, what's the plan for which Wandering Companies are going to accompany the Executors?

 

They've got two missing reserve companies and are spreading themselves too thinly.

I think mentioning heavy losses is probably justified. :lol:

 

 

As for working with the Executors, that'll have to wait until I've decided how to get around this whole organisation thing.

 

My options as I see them:

 

1] Keep it as it is, with maybe a sidebar lamenting the difficulty of replacing fallen marines due to less reserves etc etc. (leaning towards this idea)

 

2] Cutting out the wandering companies completely, sticking to codex layout and just having the battle companies do all the legwork.

 

3] The companies designated as 'Wandering' alternate, so the 2nd and 3rd will set out for X years, return, and swap places with the 4th and 5th, and vice versa.

 

4] Make only the 4th and 5th Wandering Companies, and have them do all the running around.

 

5] Can't think of a number 5], but I'm open to ideas. ;)

Edited by Ace Debonair
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My options as I see them:

 

1] Keep it as it is, with maybe a sidebar lamenting the difficulty of replacing fallen marines due to less reserves etc etc. (leaning towards this idea)

 

2] Cutting out the wandering companies completely, sticking to codex layout and just having the battle companies do all the legwork.

 

3] Actually, I can't think of a 3]. I'm open to suggestions, though, from anyone.

 

I have an option 3 ... You keep normal Codex layout, but allow one or more of the Battle Companies to take to Wandering (like Aussies going Walkabout). They can switch between them.

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My options as I see them:

 

1] Keep it as it is, with maybe a sidebar lamenting the difficulty of replacing fallen marines due to less reserves etc etc. (leaning towards this idea)

 

2] Cutting out the wandering companies completely, sticking to codex layout and just having the battle companies do all the legwork.

 

3] Actually, I can't think of a 3]. I'm open to suggestions, though, from anyone.

 

I have an option 3 ... You keep normal Codex layout, but allow one or more of the Battle Companies to take to Wandering (like Aussies going Walkabout). They can switch between them.

So allow the Wandering Companies, but not in place of reserves... Hmm. That could work, too.

Maybe make just 4th and 5th into Wanderers?

 

As much as I'm against the idea of going over-sized, it might also be... prudent to allow the Wandering companies the opportunity to recruit their own scouts. They'd probably be merged with the 10th company upon returning to Ashar, though, so they can go through the usual progressions as they become full-fledged marines.

 

I'm still open for other suggestions too, if anyone else has them.

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Did you misunderstand me or just decide to alter it? :P

 

I was suggesting that one or two of your companies go wandering then return, and the one or two more go.

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Did you misunderstand me or just decide to alter it? ;)

 

I was suggesting that one or two of your companies go wandering then return, and the one or two more go.

 

Oh.

 

Then my alteration can be 4], and your original idea can be 3].

 

Any offers for suggestion 5]? :P

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Update! :P

 

I have an option 3 ... You keep normal Codex layout, but allow one or more of the Battle Companies to take to Wandering (like Aussies going Walkabout). They can switch between them.

 

I went with option three, without the Aussie comparisons. :D

Got enough themes for now without working in Australian stuff, I think.

 

There's a few other tweaks in there, and I caught a stray typo in one of the Character's names. :lol:

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I have an option 3 ... You keep normal Codex layout, but allow one or more of the Battle Companies to take to Wandering (like Aussies going Walkabout). They can switch between them.

 

If only the rest of the world knew how very few Australians do actually go walk about. That bloody movie has done more harm to the image of Australia then anything since then or before. Its atrocious. :)

 

 

Now if yoú will excuse me it seems a crocodile has somehow crept into my yard again and I gotta go catch him and get the bugger back to his own home. :P

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Organization

 

The Infinity Knights, while fundamentally reverent of the Codex, tenuously adopted a Chapter formation to better deal with their changed perception of their mission.

 

One sentence paragraph :)

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Now if yoú will excuse me it seems a crocodile has somehow crept into my yard again and I gotta go catch him and get the bugger back to his own home. :)

 

Australia - home of the best-trained guerrilla crocodile units in the world. :P

 

In all seriousness though, I've decided to skip writing in Aussie-based references on the simple basis that blending it with generic-amalgamated-and-distorted-semi-feudal-desert-tribe-culture would be an excercise in complication that even I would prefer to shy away from.

 

Unless I get really stuck on expanding the homeworld.

EDIT:

One sentence paragraph :P

Proof that while brevity is the soul of wit, brevity TO THE EXTREME is sometimes just bad writing. Fixed, by the way.

Edited by Ace Debonair
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I think the new version is good. How many words are you up to now?

About 1740.

 

Plenty of room for me to go into a bit of expansion with the homeworld. I think I might make up some crazy cool stuff for traditional warrior's funerals, for instance. Give the whole 'honour beyond death' thing even more emphasis.

 

I'd like a good, strong medical tradition on Ashar too, but it seems too convenient.

 

I've already got the Stonebound shaped by their homeworld, and I wanted the IK to be different, so perhaps they could influence the development of medical science on Ashar?

It's definitely a pre-industrial tech level, but widespread basic knowledge and an ingrained respect for doctors would be a novel trait for a homeworld, I think. Especially if I'm having the marines nudge the homeworld in that direction.

 

Anyone got any other ideas for what I could try with the homeworld?

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Maybe novice Apothecaries have to spend time taking care of/teaching the populace before being placed with a company? I think the idea of the marines' culture influencing the Home world is a good one.

 

Madwolf

 

Ohoho, I like it.

Consider your idea duly swiped! :D

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