55 replies to this topic

[Warsmith Aznable]

Iron Warriors 49th Grand Company "The Iron Hounds"

Who do you kill for, cousin? Who would you die for? The Imperium betrayed the Emperor as surely as the Emperor betrayed his sons. Do not seek your Way there. What reward do you see your brothers earning from the Gods of the Warp? Do not seek your Way there. Hwaet! I will tell you of the true Way. - Excerpt from "Sayings of the Warsmith"
 

                                           

Origins

All of this? An illusion. A floating world of dreams and fancy. Nothing more, but nothing less. We eat, drink, and sing. We make war, we make art. We float along. That is all.

T

The 49th Grand Company “Iron Hounds” was an autonomous battle group of the Iron Warriors Legion formed during the latter stages of the Great Crusade. The purpose of the unit was to draw out the bulk of enemy maneuver units in the early stages of a planetary assault, by whatever means necessary, so that enemy formations could be assessed and their weaknesses exploited by follow-on units of the main assault force. The 49th was rumoured to be one of Perturabo’s “exile postings” for Legion personnel who were deemed loyal but of unorthodox temperament. Nothing much is said of the 49th during the subsequent Horus Heresy and their place within the IV Legion Order of Battle during any of the major engagements is not known.

Following the Horus Heresy the 49th Grand Company fled with the bulk of the Legion into the Eye of Terror but did not stay long on Medrengard. Their last known location under their original Warsmith was a battle fought in the ruins of an unrecorded Crone World against a warband of the III Legion. Following this conflict no word of the 49th Grand Company was heard of on Medrengard for several millennia. It wasn’t until the run-up to Abaddon’s 7th Black Crusade that the 49th Grand Company returned to the homeworld of the IV Legion in their unusual spacehulk, their armour rededicated in orange and black, and a new Warsmith at their head. They ventured forth with the Iron Warriors flotilla during the break out of the Eye of Terror, but took advantage of the confusion of the so-called “Ghost War”, slipping the leash of the Warmaster and headed for the fringes of galactic civilisation. There they reestablished themselves as mercenaries and pirates, known only to the galaxy at large as the Iron Hounds space marines chapter.

Homeworld

The boundless vastness of the great Galaxy is my enclosed property, and I bury the dead on my own premises.

T

he Iron Hounds are a fleet based warband. Though they control a number standard warships and their escorts, it is the ancient space hulk The Child of Calamity that is truly their home, and it is far and away their most dangerous asset. Its origin is obscured by dozens of void ships from multiple species, many of which are lost to history, all captured in an impossible framework of leviathan girders and protected by enormous sheets of armour and modular collections of weapons. The outer layers of the spacehulk features the ships and structures of the many auxiliaries and clients of the warband, refugees from burned worlds and shattered cultures who have sworn their service to the Warsmith in return for the dubious haven of the The Child of Calamity. The overall result is as deadly as a star fort, defying Imperial classification, bristling with weapons and launch bays, capable of housing hundreds of marines and their thousands of auxiliaries, able even to maintain and land Dark Mechanicum war engines and superheavy battle tanks.

Deep within the bowels of the monstrous hulk, protected by dark, labyrinthine passages where the fey and otherworldly mislead and snatch away the careless, lies the Warsmith's fortress. A virtual city, the home of the Iron Hounds is crafted of stone and iron inside the cavernous holds of the ancient, forgotten vessel at the center of the hulk. The towers, barracks, temples, manufactorums, monuments, and museums of the fortress are connected by open plazas and promenades, with the skies and environs cloaked in visions of lost planets and histories that never were. At the center of this web, high above the other structures like an Olympian temple, is the throne room, where the Warsmith holds court with his subjects and guests, and communes with the ancient and bizarre gestalt machine spirit which controls the space hulk.

Combat Doctrine

The Old Gods are always watching, and it is a sin to leave them bored. Me, I like the big guns. Nothing builds dramatic tension quite like a cannonade.

T

he Iron Hounds favour attack through combined arms, depending heavily on their unique war engines and aerial assets. Mobility and firepower are central themes, with the Iron Hounds breaking radically from their parent Legion's image of protracted siege specialists. Swiftly bringing as many heavy weapons forward to fire as rapidly as possible, the Iron Hounds seek to overwhelm defenses early in the fight then destroy the survivors of the initial bombardment piecemeal. When a swift and decisive victory cannot be claimed, the Iron Hounds will often simply leave, preferring the exhilaration of the initial attack to the boredom of a steady campaign. Indeed, when withdrawal has been impossible or delayed, the Iron Hounds are known to seek out honour duels from the enemy, challenge one another in acts of suicidal daring, or even play deadly pranks upon ostensible allies.

Tradition & Culture

Tradition is a duty. Without it we have no identity. Without it we are just another group of rabble, clawing at the edges of the Imperium.

T

he culture of the Iron Hounds is a curious mixture of romantic literature, heroic age poetry, and the mystical philosophies of several tribes of Ancient Terra, deliberately blended by the new Warsmith to achieve his own hidden ends. Outwardly they resemble most strongly the ancient Saexn and Skandic warrior cultures, and have superficial similarities with Fenrisian culture. Carefully selected Hindik and Nihon aspects guide the inner culture of the warband, demanding that individual space marines pursue self control through refinement of the mind in imitation of ancient Zen practices. This exercise of internal control and focus allows them to face the vagaries of fate stoically. Even more radical than this, however, is a peculiar assembly of myth and legend they have developed concerning the nature of the gods and reality itself.

Waelheim & The Old Dead Gods

He refused to believe unless he could see it for himself, which is not unreasonable. I told him to go ask the Old Warsmith and his brothers down in the Armoury, but he cried out that talking to Dreadnoughts was liable to get him killed. Of course it would get him killed! How else do you see Waelheim?

T

he new Warsmith hardened his heart and will toward the Ruinous Powers. To be mutated into a Chaos Spawn, enslaved through daemonic ascension, or to have his soul torn apart in the Warp was all the same to him. The Long War was ashes in his mouth, and the Great Game a bitter joke. The Imperium was a perverted shadow of what it once was, and the glorious promise of the Great Crusade a scorned memory. Redemption was instead revealed through the Warsmith's twisted vision of The War in Heaven.

When the Ruinous Powers formed and overthrew the gods of the Eldar, so too must they have usurped the true gods of Mankind. The 10,000 gods of human history were but multiple facets of the same basic truth, a central pre-Chaos pantheon, and they were not destroyed when the Ruinous Powers overthrew them. They reside in a sanctuary realm beyond the Warp that the Iron Hounds call Waelheim, and a divinity known as Khalder moves freely from that realm and the Warp.

The Iron Hounds believe that the Old Dead Gods are always watching, calling out to Mankind. Khalder is their herald, who gathers those worthy of them. Souls that are fearless, those that die glorious deaths in combat and with clean souls, these will burn bright in the eyes of Khalder. He will pluck them from the Sea of Souls and spirit them away to the Pure Land of Waelheim to live in a warrior's paradise with Mankind's most ancient forefathers.

So the Iron Hounds fervently believe.

Organisation & Disposition

Do not bother me with details. Except the good ones.

T

he Iron Hounds are organised into specialised companies: Battle, Assault, Attack, Support, and Reserve. In addition to this is the Comitatus, which is essentially a veteran Terminator company, as well as the war machines of the Armoury and the specialists of the Apothecarion and the Temple. In support of the main space marine forces the Iron Hounds also make extensive use of unaugmented human auxiliaries. At the head of all this is a council known as the Isarnhauld, a group composed of company captains, masters of the warband, and favored sergeants and champions.

While their organisation is not far from codex adherent loyalists, their method of arranging a task force is more haphazard. The Warsmith chooses a force commander and gives him a mission. It is up to that force commander to assemble an appropriate task force by petitioning individual leaders throughout the warband to join their respective squads to his efforts. The interpersonal relationships of the warband’s leaders is hugely important, and a good deal of charisma and luck is necessary to cajole an effective force into existence. It is unusual for an entire company to go to war under its own captain and fight as cohesive force, but not unknown. The captaincy of a particular company is largely administrative and a matter of title.

Gene-seed & Purity

Nothing of lasting value can be achieved by being a slavish plaything to the creatures from another dimension that dare to call themselves "gods" or "daemons". They exist to be subdued, used, then disposed of. The galaxy belongs to Humanity, and Humanity belongs to the Legions. Make them to know their proper place, bind them into iron and brass, yours to command, or suffer not their unclean presence.

T

he Iron Hounds maintain a rigorous apothecary program. As well as retrieving the gene-seed of fallen battle-brothers, the progenoids of noteworthy adversaries are highly sought after. While the Iron Hounds prefer the gene-seed of their Primarch, pragmatism and all-important purity outweighs any prejudice in selection. The apothecary-brothers also serve a religious function, zealously excising mutations, which are seen an impediment to earning Khalder's favoring eye. The summary execution of battle-brothers who succumb to becoming Chaos Spawn or are in danger of daemonic ascension is also a duty of the grim apothecaries. The warband makes extensive use of cybernetic augmentation enabled by the advanced facilities aboard the Child of Calamity, and it is not unheard of for long-lived veterans to be more cybernetic than flesh. Past a certain point, survival in this manner is considered unlucky or ill-fated.

 

Alongside the apothecaries, the Iron Hounds also maintain a corps of warriors who function similar to chaplains. Where the apothecaries excise sin from the flesh, these priests focus the minds of the Iron Hounds. On top of attending meditation sessions and ritual, each herjar-brother is expected to practice an art, and to pursue it with dedication and zeal during the down time between battles. A favorite among the Iron Hounds is epic poetry, though more creative herjar-brothers sculpt or paint, while the more eccentric become experts on obscure scholarly topics. The priests monitor these activities, assigning deadlines for new content and organising exhibitions to ensure the constant engagement of the warriors' minds. Herjar-brothers who fall behind in their artistic or scholarly endeavors are censured, with the priests having broad power to inflict punishment on stubborn warriors to ensure that the chaos of the warp does not find purchase within undisciplined minds.

Battlecry

Yes, a dream. That is all. But there are idylls and nightmares. I bring terror in order to cleanse the soul. I bring death in order to release the soul. They call me evil, but they have no understanding. I bring darkness in order to exalt the light.

Most commonly heard is "To Waelheim! To Waelheim!" Also heard is the old Legion battle cry, "Iron Within! Iron Without!"

Edited by Warsmith Aznable, 16 September 2015 - 10:26 PM.

[Warsmith Aznable]

Critiques appreciated. What I was going for was a sort of mash-up of Anglo-saxon/Norse warrior culture and Pure Land Buddhism, and a Chaos warband that maintained a highly professional mechanized unit (with interesting options for cult troops). The idea around the Pure Land Buddhism angle is that somebody eventually at sometime had to realize that Very Bad Things happen at the deaths of the overwhelming majority of the Chaos Marines, but this person was repulsed at the idea of becoming a Daemon Prince or a mutant Chaos spawn. So the cult of Khalder provides a "Chaos Bodhisattva" to take the hardest warriors who die the most stylish deaths to a magic place where the Ruinous Powers won't eat them. Then I thought that "all the other gods of human cultural history" sort of get shafted by the Imperium, becoming just aspects of the Emperor, and that's sort of cruddy. So instead of all the cool gods from human cultures being guises of the Emperor, they're DEAD, having a grand old time in whatever heaven that dead gods go to, and you too can be with them if you're awesome enough to remember them and reject both the Emperor and the Ruinous Powers.

[The Normish]

You shouldn't expect the Liber to work very quickly... We are gentlemen of lee-soo-are.
This... is a very interesting and well-written IA. The concept is brilliant, and when I have time later this evening to read it completely and thoroughly, I'll give you a critique (in fact, I'll print out a copy for myself and make notes - I review better that way).
At a quick glance though... not much to criticize. Pretty much great. Then again, some more veteran Liberites will likely find something wrong that I missed in my quick read through. I'll comment later on this evening with some notes.

[Warsmith Aznable]

Thanks for that. The slowness of the B&C has taken some adjusting to, so I'll just be patient and chant the names of the Blood God until I've got enough feedback to start editing the entry

The hardest part about writing this was narrowing it down, as I have a ton of information written up about this warband and their home system. My ultimate goal is to have their own mini-dex and a collection of short stories to go with it. And to have all my minis painted...

[The Normish]

Okay, here's what I've come up with after reading through the whole thing:

4th Waelheim Free Company (Mechanized)

First of all, why the 4th? I don't see anywhere else in the article any mention of them being something like a Lost Company, or a Company that betrayed its former Chapter, even in its distant past or whatever. Is there a reason for it being called the fourth?

So, according to your Beleifs section, you don't worship the Four Gods of Chaos. So why put the symbol of Chaos Undivided on your banner?

The Jarl’s warband became the 4th after Jarl Bolverk absorbed into his command the warbands of several lesser Aspiring Champions,

Like I said, this doesn't realy expalin why it is called the 4th.

and a freak happenstance of the Warp brought them to the region of space known as the Utgaard Phenomenon and he became a vassal of the Warp entity known as the Hidden King.

I don't know, this seems a little too fortuitous to me. Sudden random teleportation? I think ti would be better if the Sorcerer were lured there by visions or something, that's how Daemons generally like to do things, as I understand it.

The Utgaard Phenomenon itself is a bizarre nexus of realities, where Realspace, the Warp and even corrupted parts of the Web Way collide in a delicate and chaotic ballet coordinated by the will of the Hidden King.

This doesn't seem a little too special to you? I mean, I'm surer such an amazing center of Warp energies could not have been kept hidden from the Imperium or the other Choas powers for so long. Also, if this Hidden King fellow is a minor Warp entity, how can he exert such physical strength of the Materium? Is the Phenomenon near the Eye of Terror or the Maelstrom?

The Hallow Moon is a place of violent contrast, with a temperate climate and geography that would be considered pleasant by any human, were it not for the periodic Long Night rotations ruled by unimaginable terrors that cause the inhabitants to cower behind stout walls protected by Warp magic and sacrifice.

I like this, keep it. It could explain why the society of peasants are such capable candidates for the Space Marines, since they have to repel monstrous creatures from an unspeakable dimension.

The culture of their home world was heavily influenced by the Jarl’s conception of what was ideal. Petty feudal lords control his grain production tithes while waging constant petty wars amongst themselves. A strong rule of law and tradition separates these activities from the peasants who work the land. Villages are small conclaves of extended family units that radiate outward from the space port along supply lines, and life is generally simple. The Astartes of the 4th recruit small numbers from both the peasants and the feudal nobility, with the society having been arranged to respect the martial and family tradition in such a way that will aid successful candidates indoctrination into the warband. On rare occasions of inactivity, Astartes from the 4th will shed their technology to walk among the populace to challenge the terrible creatures that stalk the nights or choose sides in the wars of the humans to enjoy the bloody work of their own hands.
Among the most important traditions of the Hallow Moon is the Harvest Blessing. Whereas most of life on the Hallow Moon is sedate, with the peasants laboring and the petty lords fighting their small skirmishes, the Harvest Blessing is a massive event that brings all the peoples of the Jarl’s lands together in huge festivals. Normally subdued, the populace pays tribute to the bloody gods of the Chaos Powers, holding tournaments between the aristocratic knights, brawls between peasant champions, villages and regions, and savage executions of criminals, oath breakers and even the losers of some of the arranged sporting games. It is a two week orgy of bloodshed, highlighted by honor duels fought amongst those vying for promotion within the 4th, and the occasional duel with loyalist Astartes captured just for the festival or Renegades who sometimes willingly come to participate.

This is all very good and all, but I think it's going a little too deep into the home world's background. How does it all affect the Chapter in a broader context? This seems to mainly concern how the ordinary people get along, although the mention of the recruitment festivals is a good touch.

striving to maximize both in a harmonious way.

Is harmonious such a good word for this? I know what you mean, but it seems to happy and peaceful a word for merging tactics of speed and violence. Perhaps "combined" or some similar word?

cavalry

I take it you use the Space Wolf Codex? Incidentally, I like the whole Norse theme you have going on, less Viking so much as... Norse, I guess. The Jarl/Huscarl rank system is something I know of, having played Age of Mythology, haha.

Dreadnoughts, fallen veterans valued too much by the Jarl to lose, make up a skirmish force that tends to do their own thing on the battlefield, usually heading straight into the most dangerous fighting.

Is it me, or is this sort of contradictory? The Jarl values them too much to use them, yet they charge dangerously into the thickest of the fight? Seems like the boss has difficulty keeping control over his Dreadnoughts.

The 4th, under the leadership of the Hidden King’s emissary to the 4th, , Nuncio Lord Callixtus

Redundant. I would say "The 4th, under the leadership of the Hidden King's emissary, Nuncio Lord Callixtus" or "under the leadership of the Hidden King's emissary to the 4th, Nuncio Lord Callixtus".

The Utgaard Phenomenon is controlled by a Warp entity known as the Hidden King. He is also known as the Lord of the Wheel, after his Dark Eccleisarchy’s Cult of the Wheel. The Dark Ecclesiarchy is a black mockery of the Imperial Ecclesiarchy, with veneration of the Emperor and his Saints replaced by the Ruinous Powers, along with a bizarre and prolific array of Lesser Chaos Gods.

This whole thing seems a little awkward to me, you should rephrase it. The syntax or whatnot seems off. A little too much repetition, perhaps. Also, why use the term "Ecclesiarchy" at all, if even in parody, the cult does not resemble the Cult of the Divine Emperor? If it were worshiping a single god in the same way the Ecclesiarchy does the Emperor, then it would make more sense.

the old gods of Mankind are dead, dwelling in an afterlife of their own making.

How does anyone know about these old gods? I don't think any record of them persisted through the Age of Strife, and if they did, it is highly unlikely that some random Sorcerer got access to them.

To escape being absorbed by the Ruinous Powers on their deaths, the 4th relies on the cult of Khalder, a Lesser Chaos God of martial valor and warrior virtue.

I'm not exactly the most well-versed Liberite when it comes to the Ruinous Powers, but aren't all minor Warp Entities subject to one of the Big Four? I don't think that they would take kindly to this lack of worshiping them in any case... Seems like this guy would fall under Khorne to some degree.
Also, I thought they worshipped the Hidden King? That quote next to your Battle Cry section seems to indicate so. You should probably be more clear about what it is exactly that they worship.

By living disciplined soldiers lives and dying a glorious death in battle, Khalder will recognize his worshipers and guide their souls through the Warp, back to the Utgaard Phenomenon and Wælheim, the orange and black gas giant. It is believed that Wælheim is not just a planet, but as the nexus of colliding realities it is the pathway to the paradise of the Old Dead Gods of Mankind, a world they sometimes call the Pure Land.

The company’s colors derive from their cultic beliefs, with the orange and black mimicking the banded colors of the gas giant, and trimmed in gold to reflect their hope of rebirth in the Pure Land. Their helmets are painted skull white to represent their own deaths, after their final initiation ceremony renders them ritually dead, the better to scorn this life in battle, enabling them to perform heroic deeds in the face of violent death.

I like this, no issues there. This can be used well.

It is believed, or at least idly guessed at, that Jarl-Captain Bolverk was once a loyal Space Wolf,

What else?

The bedrock of the geneseed of the warband is that of the Iron Hands, from the warband of the Iron Hand renegade Thegn Volundr, who was uncharismatic and unfocused, and frankly more interested in pursuing his private ambitions in the area of constructing War Engines.

Why the Iron Hands? They don't seem to exhibit the particularities of that particular First Founding Legion. If it's to justify the vehicular abundance, I think the Iron Warriors would be more appropriate, that was kind of their thing.

The Choosing gathers the 100 best candidates from across his holdings, forming them into a cadre of Initiates.

So, would these be the people who survived the Harvest thingummy? Because, that's still a lot of surviving candidates, if the Loyalist figures are anything to go by. I mean, 100 guys is a Company's worth. Then again, perhaps most of them are expected to die anyway through the gene-seed implantation process and subsequent training.

Mutations

Caused by the Utgaard Phenomenon, I would assume?
Also, it seems sort of strange that servants of the Hidden King (who to me seems like a Tzeentchian sort of god) would be so revulsed my mutation. Thena gain, I ain't no Chaos scholar.

Skull Throne

“Blood! Blood! Blood!”

So, pretty Khornate then?

In addition to the Battle Cry the 4th also has the War Chant. No oaths are sworn, no promises are made. Objectives are tasked and the 4th gets on with it. Riding into battle someone in a squad will spontaneously begin to sing the War Chant, broadcasting it over the comm as soon as the genuine mood hits. The Chant is slowly taken up by all the others, poounding their weapons along in time. Starting off slow and dirge like, the War Chant slowly builds in intensity, reaching a furious crescendo as the ramps of their transports drop and they leap into battle in a killing frenzy.

This isn't really stealthy, doesn't go very well witht eh whole "they come out of the mists and shadows" sort of thing. Even if visually obscured, you still hear where a bunch of tanks roaring out of the darkness with a bunch of guys shouting and banging metal together are coming from.

The motto of the 4th is Ab Astra Invictus, “from unconquered stars”, reflecting their pride in the fact that their homeworld has never been a part of the Imperium.

Well, I guess that could still allow for the existence of humans on the moon, dating from before the Age of Strife...
But like I said, there seems to be some pretty strong Warp energies in that area, so I'm surprised they haven't attracted some sort of attention.

Overall, I would say that your major weakness is the Beliefs section. It is certainly an original take, and an interesting one, but I think you need to clear a few things up concerning those two Chaos entities, and why exactly these guys worship them.
I also get the impression that you want these guys to be a little too special. I mean, it seems like these guys a have got some seriously whacked out stuff going on for them, and I'm wondering if there is any precedent for that in a canon Traitor force or a DIY one.
Lastly, I'm sure we'd all like to know a little of your Chapter's History.

Feel free to disregard my comments, I'm just offering my take and opinions. I'm sure that if someone else comes along they could disagree with me, and you'll have to decide for yourself whether to take the advice of one of us, or do your own thing. I look forward to seeing more of this, and am always glad to help.

[Warsmith Aznable]

Okay, here's what I've come up with after reading through the whole thing...Feel free to disregard my comments, I'm just offering my take and opinions. I'm sure that if someone else comes along they could disagree with me, and you'll have to decide for yourself whether to take the advice of one of us, or do your own thing. I look forward to seeing more of this, and am always glad to help.

I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on this IA. Constructive criticism is always welcome. I originally typed out a comment by comment response, but the forum told me there were too many quote boxes.

Instead of retyping two or three drawn out particular responses, I will get to work on addressing some of the concerns in a rewritten IA. Some stuff is simple, like typing "Iron Hands" when I really did mean "Iron Warriors". Other stuff will take a bit more fiddling.

What I will say is that this warband is the first of an intended several (armies I want to build for the game), and that the glut of fluff I've come up with to tie it all together is in danger of overpowering this one IA entry. If I leave something out, something about the warband will seem weird. If I include too much, it's a "fluff tangent" that distracts from the warband the IA is supposed to be about. It's hard balancing all this, and keeping the entry from being too long.

Again, thanks you for the critique.

[Warsmith Aznable]

First revision attempts to address some of the above concerns. I've also added two new sections for history and organization in an effort to address some concerns, as well as adding pictures just to help make the article attractive and show off the few painted models I have...

[Warsmith Aznable]

In this post I had a lengthy second entry that was background information for the IA. To keep the IA focused on the Iron Hounds, I moved all the non-IA background information to a central location since I'm going to use it for other warbands.

Edited by -Max-, 11 January 2011 - 10:24 PM.

[The Normish]

Alright, I'll have a look later. I don't have the right computer at the moment to do a full check on your stuff, but tomorrow or after tomorrow I could have a full review done like I did last time.

[Warsmith Aznable]

The 4th's IA was rewritten before I went back and added the "Codex: Utgaard Phenomenon" as a preface for it, so there will be some redundancy. I haven't had time to go through the 4th's IA as a response to the C:UP yet. Just FYI.

Edited by -Max-, 11 January 2011 - 10:25 PM.

[Astral Scorpions]

Hmmm, so it pops in and out of real space along the fringes at random? I like that idea, it explains why they haven't been heavily assaulted yet, and why others haven't tried to claim it for themselves. By the time they get there it is usually gone.

Now then, is the Hidden King a Daemon Prince or an actual minor power? Don't forget, Daemon Princes are pretty freaking powerful in and of themselves, even without a direct patron. With his love of plots within plots and the manipulation of his frienemies, as well as the chaotic nature of the Phenomenon itself, I'd say he's more likely dedicated to Tzeentch. However, the lack of mutations is a bit of a loop, but then again who needs Tzeentch to make sense? It makes sense that if nothing is constant with his followers, that includes his followers most defining traits, such as Sorcery and Mutation.

Edited by Astral Scorpions, 19 October 2010 - 09:44 PM.

[Warsmith Aznable]

Hmmm, so it pops in and out of real space along the fringes at random? I like that idea, it explains why they haven't been heavily assaulted yet, and why others haven't tried to claim it for themselves. By the time they get there it is usually gone.

Now then, is the Hidden King a Daemon Prince or an actual minor power? Don't forget, Daemon Princes are pretty freaking powerful in and of themselves, even without a direct patron. With his love of plots within plots and the manipulation of his frienemies, as well as the chaotic nature of the Phenomenon itself, I'd say he's more likely dedicated to Tzeentch. However, the lack of mutations is a bit of a loop, but then again who needs Tzeentch to make sense? It makes sense that if nothing is constant with his followers, that includes his followers most defining traits, such as Sorcery and Mutation.

Actually I threw in a major assault into their history, just so they wouldn't be so special and carefree inside the Phenomenon.

What the reality of it is supposed to be is that Tzeentch is in fact behind it all, and the Utgaard Phenomenon is just some "side project" or "idle fancy" of his. The whole thing is basically an elaborate plot of my own to have a contained set of fluff for any army I want to play. And an excuse to write a bunch of stuff, to have my own universe within the 40k universe to make a personal canon with.

The lack of mutations in the 4th is a personal modeling preference, so the 1st and 4th won't get them, but when I get around to the 6th they're going to be all kinds of weird, so it's not like the Phenomenon is a mutation free zone. I'm just concentrating on idea #1 right now...

[Octavulg]

At the center of all this floats Wælheim, an enormous gas giant of orange and black bands. Wælheim is surrounded by the Hundred Moons, and chief among these is Yule, the hive encrusted world where the Warp entity known as the Hidden King rules the entire system from deep within his sprawling temple complex. The instrument of his will is his Dark Ecclesiarchy, the Cult of the Wheel, who enforce his rule through the so-called Free Companies. The Free Companies are many and diverse, but among the most infamous is the 4th, the warband of Jarl-Captain Bolverk.

Yule? Really?

The Jarl, along with his closest advisor, the Sorcerer Forn Grimnir, arrived in the Utgaard System on a ship lost in the Warp, as many do. But Forn Grimnir insisted it was a dark fate that brought them there. Following the Sorcerer’s prophetic dreams, Bolverk set about subduing the warbands of other Chaos champions on the fringe worlds of the Phenomenon, winning a notoriety for himself that eventually earned the notice of the Dark Ecclesiarchy. After absorbing the warband of the renegade Iron Warrior Volundr, Bolverk represented a force too large to be left to its own devices, and too large to be easily done away with. In return for an agreement of vassalage to the Hidden King, the Cult of the Wheel offered Bolverk lordship of the Hallow Moon as a way to control the threat he represented. Bolverk at first balked, but urged on by Forn Grimnir and his powerful visions he reluctantly pledged his loyalty to the Hidden King. His warband was recast as the 4th Wælheim Free Company, flying a banner of the Dark Ecclesiarchy as their own, the price of their deal with the Hidden King.

OK. Not only do we understand like half these things, where the hell did the Company come from before this?

This could be really interesting - in fact, I'd love to see a larger exploration of the Phenomenon and its inhabitants. But this is a little too much stuff a little too quickly.

Huscarl-Leftenant Atrithi "the Wyrm Knight" of the 7th Squad "Blood Riders" patrolling the Jarl's lands on the Hallow Moon

That looks silly. I'm sorry.

* * *

This is interesting. But there's so much going on at the beginning and in regard to the Phenomenon that it's kind of hard to figure out where the weird stuff ends and the Free Company begins.

Honestly, I'd recommend exploring the other Free Companies and the whole Phenomenon a little more, and moving the focus off the Free Company somewhat. There's just too much we need to be told about things (IMO) to really make this work as an independent IA. Compare to the Space Wolves, who have fairly unique companies - the IA's still about them, not the companies.

Failing that, I think you need to re-organize the IA so it's more about the Free Company and less about the Phenomenon. The name doesn't help - it suggests that there's other companies, which makes this one seem a little less interesting by directing our curiousity in the direction of the others.

Anyway, it was a good read. Well done.

Edited by Octavulg, 19 October 2010 - 11:46 PM.

[PorridgeMeister]

Sorry I love the picture of the Blood Rider

An interesting IA, I would have to agree with the Normish about the Beliefs (to add something serious to this!).

Edited by PorridgeMeister, 20 October 2010 - 10:24 AM.

[Warsmith Aznable]

Finally got around to some revisioning and rewriting of this IA article.

Changes this time around:

"The 4th Wælheim Free Company" is now a second name, the primary warband name has been changed to "The Iron Hunt" or "Jarl Bolverk's Iron Hunt". This came from criticism of the first being confusing without the appropriate context (and the appropriate context being sort of confusing).

The origins section has been merged with some of the history and geneseed sections from before. This was to consolidate the history. I attempted to tell the story of origin and describe the major personalities in the same lines and to make it better to read, and go straighten out the relationships and histories of the primary players to be believable and coherent.

The Utgaard Phenomenon has been de-emphasized, trying to keep the focus on the warband itself and not cause too many "what the heck are all these names and organizations" moments. The Utgaard Phenomenon has its own post for reference purposes, which probably won't matter to anybody until I start making the other warbands and chapters that inhabit it. Which will be decades from now at the speed I paint models...

I reworded and excised some of the history section, and drew a line between the history of the origins story and the history after they solidified into their current structure.

Tried to find all the redundant mentions of Wælheim being a "black and orange gas giant" and keep it to just once or twice Also tried to eliminate redundancies in general.

I appreciate all the critique I have received so far. I believe that each time I do this it gets better, and I hope it's good enough for the archives eventually.

[Warsmith Aznable]

I'm still waffling on this name thing...

I had two other ideas, and I just can't remain happy.

1. The Iron Hunt, what I currently have in the IA

2. The Iron Host, my second idea

3. The Iron Hounds, my first idea, which I was uncomfortable with for sounding too much like "Iron Hands", and maybe too obvious as a combination for a DIY group that is at its heart formed from Iron Warriors and Luna Wolves/Sons of Horus. But the one I like the most...

Does the LA have any preferences that might tip my hand one way or the other?

[ringlancer]

Iron Waffle?

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Iron Hunters.

Iron Vipers.

Iron Yoda.

Iron Swords.

Iron Slayers.

Iron Pilgrims.

Iron Legion.

Iron Horde.

[Octavulg]

I quite like Iron Hounds. Iron Host would work decently as well.

[Ecritter]

I like Iron Yoda

Now you just have to have all the marines talk in yodaspeek.

"Attack them we will!"

Edited by Ecritter, 11 January 2011 - 08:08 PM.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

I quite like Iron Hounds. Iron Host would work decently as well.

The is Octy displaying a preference; I was - not so subtly? - pointing out there are other potential options as the intial ones don't "reach out and choke the life from me".

EDIT: "Iron Yoda" is something I learnt from being a Bingo Caller - Google is your friend here kids - 99% of the time people don't pay attention to what you say when you talk alot of the time.

Edited by Captain Juan Juarez, 11 January 2011 - 08:09 PM.

[ringlancer]

you don't want Iron Hunt. Childish adversaries might twist it into a name worthy of an Escher gang from necromunda, or perhaps a mercenary Amazonian force....

Iron Fangs?

Iron Wolves?

Iron Fyrd?

Iron Thing?

Iron Storm?

Iron Viking Kittens?

Edited by ringlancer, 11 January 2011 - 09:28 PM.

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

Please removes the pictures! Gaaah!

Your IT suffers for it. As Octavulg said, they just look silly and very out of place.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Please removes the pictures!

They remind me of bad holiday pictures

[Warsmith Aznable]

I liked the Iron Hounds the most. In retrospect, I guess I sort of knew that people would come up in their heads with alternatives for "hunt"... Much better than Iron Viking Kittens, anyway.

Please removes the pictures!

They remind me of bad holiday pictures

OK, everybody hated the pictures. I mean, I liked them, but that's what peer review is for...

What if I instead I put photos there that were just the models without any cheesy background? Like so ☝ ?

Edited by -Max-, 11 January 2011 - 10:21 PM.