Jump to content

This is the Liber Astartes, PART II


Shinzaren

Recommended Posts

On a bit more serious note, I was considering posting this in the Short Story forum, just as a fun plug for the Liber? However, I didn't know if there was some rule about posting something in multiple forums and what not. Thoughts?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Technically it's more a short story but it is a very good read. I thoroughly enjoyed it :) Course right now I'd wedge my Phantoms in with a crowbar right now, but alas, the fluff is more broken than some of the rules GW have made over the years :cry:
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Technically it's more a short story but it is a very good read. I thoroughly enjoyed it :) Course right now I'd wedge my Phantoms in with a crowbar right now, but alas, the fluff is more broken than some of the rules GW have made over the years :HQ:

I tried wedging my warband in subtly by telling Shinzaren to expand on Chaos, but... :HQ:

 

I also noticed your Unstoppable reference ;)

 

And Octavulg, you may be Batman (although you're not), but I'm Curze... Hehehehe...

 

Sorry! Ignoring Octavulg! :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I tried wedging my warband in subtly by telling Shinzaren to expand on Chaos, but... :mellow:

 

I also noticed your Unstoppable reference ;)

Villainous Traitors should be happy they got mention at all :D No more space will be devoted to them than absolutely necessary. However, if I had to pick ONE Index Traitoris to mention, I would most likely pick the Iron Gods, as it was a masterwork of writing, and easily my favorite IT. No offense to any other Chaos writers, but S.C.L. really crafted an amazing Warband, and Talek Varn is such a likable jerk. If I was making a Renegade chapter, or a chapter that hunted Renegades, I would definitely want to have some connection to the Iron Gods, just to steal some of that lightning in a bottle. In fact, thinking on how much I did enjoy the Iron Gods, I may have to make mention of them.

 

EDIT: Done. Iron Gods have their reference, though subtle it is not

 

EDIT EDIT:

I think the general rule is two forums max before it's considered spam...

Gotcha. I PMd a Sigismund Himself, and Brother Tyler, so hopefully one has a concrete answer :D Don't wanna get in trouble and lose something so shiny :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'd be interested in a sequel. :)

 

Which would also be the perfect time to reveal Octavulg is Batman, by the by. :P

EDIT: Possibly just before or after the bit where I am revealed to be a Techmarine Ninja. :P

EDIT EDIT: Just remembered, I'm also Zeus. :)

I'm pretty sure Ace isn't Zeus.

Pretty sure isn't totally sure! Ace Debonair is Zeus. I am calling it right now. It's the only possible explanation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

However, if I had to pick ONE Index Traitoris to mention, I would most likely pick the Iron Gods, as it was a masterwork of writing, and easily my favorite IT. No offense to any other Chaos writers, but S.C.L. really crafted an amazing Warband, and Talek Varn is such a likable jerk. If I was making a Renegade chapter, or a chapter that hunted Renegades, I would definitely want to have some connection to the Iron Gods, just to steal some of that lightning in a bottle. In fact, thinking on how much I did enjoy the Iron Gods, I may have to make mention of them.

 

Wow, thanks Shinzaren, I’m glad you enjoyed them! The IG are definitely my favourite of the DIY’s I’ve written, but it’s fantastic that they’re popular with others too. In that case, would you be at all interested in letting me pinch a Son of Lightning for the squad of IG I’m currently building? Got two or three more models to put together once I get some more bits! :)

 

 

 

EDIT: Done. Iron Gods have their reference, though subtle it is not.

 

Following the Librarian onward, the marine noticed a side portion of the great hall, cordoned off by skull-servitors. Looking past them, he saw holographs of marines fighting marines, and Astartes battling Astartes in wars that consumed planets. One especially caught his eye, in which a giant of a marine, wearing terminator armor the color of Iron strode forth from a base hidden in a sea of dying stars, plundering worlds like a God and taking his treasure back to his hidden stronghold. Stopping momentarily to look closer, he felt the old psyker's hand on his shoulder.

 

"No lad, that's not for you today."

 

This is awesome, thank you! However, if I can give a little criticism (as you said yourself ‘This is the Liber!’ :) ), it really isn’t subtle. I’d cut the capital I in Iron and the ‘like a God’ bit, anyone who knows the IG will still get the reference. Also, could cut/change the repetitive second ‘hidden’?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow, thanks Shinzaren, I’m glad you enjoyed them! The IG are definitely my favourite of the DIY’s I’ve written, but it’s fantastic that they’re popular with others too. In that case, would you be at all interested in letting me pinch a Son of Lightning for the squad of IG I’m currently building? Got two or three more models to put together once I get some more bits! :P

I'd be honored, as long as he still hates Eldar and carries some cool trinkets from pre-Renegade days.

 

This is awesome, thank you! However, if I can give a little criticism (as you said yourself ‘This is the Liber!’ :P ), it really isn’t subtle. I’d cut the capital I in Iron and the ‘like a God’ bit, anyone who knows the IG will still get the reference. Also, could cut/change the repetitive second ‘hidden’?

Oh I now it isn't subtle. Hence the capitalizing haha. I can edit it to make it SLIGHTLY more subtle though, certainly. Second hidden will be changed to something.

 

EDIT: In answer to everyone who wanted to see their chapter represented, I simply couldn't cram them all in, nor have I read them all (shamefully). I don't know if I will write a sequel anytime soon, but I have no objections to other people using the idea, the Liber Astartes room, or it's holographic projector. As I continue to tweak this one, I will add Chapters that I think fit well, and I personally really enjoyed. The chapters included now are some of my favorites, all of which (Barring the Iron Gods) I have critiqued and worked with the authors. If your chapter wasn't mentioned, I do apologize. It's not an intentional snubbing.

 

That said, I am glad everyone enjoyed it, and I hope someone writes a sequel!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Excellent story, Shinzaren, and because of all of the comments afterwards I now have a stitch from laughing too hard! :tu:
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just realized what section is missing, my primary domain the blogs!

 

AND

 

Brother Argos needs a mention (seeing as he is the Salamander Techmarine who owns and maintains the B+C proper...).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just realized what section is missing, my primary domain the blogs!

Done

 

Brother Argos needs a mention (seeing as he is the Salamander Techmarine who owns and maintains the B+C proper...).

And done. Hopefully I got him right. I based his description off of the excerpt in his sig.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That said, I am glad everyone enjoyed it, and I hope someone writes a sequel!

 

Open invitation, huh? :ph34r:

After the weekend, I'll give it a shot. I've already got a plot sorted out, in fact.

 

I just need to work out some of the details. :wub:

EDIT: And it's probably going to be a little less solemn.

EDIT EDIT: Make that roughly half of a plot, in fact.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hmm...yes, this story is worth keeping. it may even be worth expanding (though i am not so sure there...). you gave me a hell of a laugh addressing the female marines bit. somehow i dont think that randomness will ever die... despite such heresy, im sure there is a smoother way to address the insanity? as it stands the bluntness is effective...but rather jarring after reading the rest of the short youve given us. just my two cents...just ignore it if you want ;)

 

 

by the by...Octy cant be batman, batman would never name himself batman...

 

 

though octavulg did steal my towel once....

 

....suddenly i think octavulg is actually the ravenous bug-bladder beast of traal....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hmm...yes, this story is worth keeping. it may even be worth expanding (though i am not so sure there...). you gave me a hell of a laugh addressing the female marines bit. somehow i dont think that randomness will ever die... despite such heresy, im sure there is a smoother way to address the insanity? as it stands the bluntness is effective...but rather jarring after reading the rest of the short youve given us. just my two cents...just ignore it if you want :D

No worries :) It's designed to be that way. The rest of the story is a serious representation of how I see the Legio Bolter and Chainsword, and I only delved into the aspect of the Legio that I personally take part in. And so I worked in all the parts that reminded me of the Liber. Jokes about bowling balls, punishing the fluff breakers, the good IAs, the great IT, the change, etc etc. All with the touch of humor that is ever present in the Liber Astartes. I want everyone to read it and think it's serious and good, and then suddenly bust out laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole ordeal :D

 

In regards to expansion, it has been expanded several times already, go back through the whole thread and look :) Beware the Batman though. As people suggest things, I weigh whether they are important to me, and then I add them. Or I don't ;)

 

That said, thanks for the comments and the support. I do believe Ace is working up a sequel for us all, so keep your eyes peeled!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That said, thanks for the comments and the support. I do believe Ace is working up a sequel for us all, so keep your eyes peeled!

Disclaimer: Said sequel probably isn't going to be as good, in keeping with the Law of Sequels.

 

I'm still going to give it a good shot, though. :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.