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You know you're a Black Templar when....


Th!rdeye

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...when picking a loyalist chapter to make renegade CSM out of you justify your choice based on the story of them having an honor duel with the Black Templars in order to steal the wargear off the still warm body of the defeated Templar.

 

Yeah, Marines Manevolent ended up turning into a Renegade Chapter project for me because of that detail. I mean if picking fights with the Templars wasn't dumb enough, they stole a battle brother's wargear as a prize. It's amazing these guys haven't been killed off by now honestly.

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Isnt there a sequel to that story where they get their just desserts?

Not yet. Bitter Salvage by Nick Khyme was the story in question and to date it doesn't have a follow up. That said, The Marines Manevolent are probably the only non-first founding chapter that has managed to tick off the entirety of the Astartes, the Mechanicus, Inquisition and likely even the High Lords of Terra and have managed to not be given the Excommunicate Traitoris treatment (likely because their success record rivals the Ultramarines, only by methods that make all of their allies hate them).

 

But yeah, the Bitter Salvage story was enough to justify them being traitors, as shown in this excerpt:

 

The Templar stopped short, his charge arrested by the half metre of snarling chain-blade sticking out of his chest.

 

In a display of consummate swordsmanship belied by his earlier missteps, Ballack of the Marines Malevolent had weaved around Tiamed’s anger-fuelled blow and pierced his unprotected flank. He gave a second thrust, silently enjoying the shock of the other Templars who had gone from anticipating their brother’s victory in the honor duel to witnessing him spitting up his own blood all over the deck.

 

Tiamed jerked, mustering the last of his energy to turn and regard Ballack with an imperious, yet despairing, glance.

 

‘I may look ragged,’ Ballack told him before the Templar died, ‘but my blade craft is anything but.’

 

As he tore out the chain-blade, noble Tiamed slumped first to his knees and then fell forwards. His sword, still chained to his wrist, slipped from his hand, as did the ork tusk.

 

Ballack eyed the other two Templars, who looked ready to kill him but stalled when they saw the pair of bolters aimed at them by the Malevolent’s battle-brothers.

 

‘Narlec and Sykar are both excellent marksmen,’ he said, kicking away the head of the Ork Warlord they had fought over from where it had rolled near to his boot.

 

‘You refuse your trophy even now,’ snapped Vorda. ‘Is his blood not enough to slake your sense of dishonour?’

 

'I do not refuse it,’ said Ballack, sinking to one knee beside Tiamed’s slowly cooling body. He began to unstrap the armour. ‘I simply choose one that is of use on the battlefield and not a hollow chamber of honours. It is a pity I had to damage the breastplate, though. They are hard to find intact.’

‘Whoresons!’ Mageln looked about ready to brave the bolter storm when Vorda stopped him, one arm across his chest.

 

‘No…’ he said. ‘No, brother!’ he hissed sharply when Mageln didn’t take the first hint. ‘We’ve lost enough to their perfidy already. Leave them to their scavenging.’

 

Ballack stood, having removed Tiamed’s vambraces and greaves. He took both pauldrons too, handing off the pieces of armour to Narlec, whilst Sykar kept the other Templars in his sights.

 

The Templars went back the way they had come, back to their ship and the Apothecary that waited on board.

 

Alone, Sykar lowered his sights and Narlec spoke up.

 

‘You planned this, didn’t you?’

 

Ballack rose to his feet and smiled ruefully. The Templars would want recompense in blood. Only their sense of honour had kept them acting on their instincts thus far.

 

 

‘It is bitter salvage, brother, and worth every drop of their ire.’

 

Note that the Templars weren't even given a chance to recover their fallen brother's geneseed. That alone is enough to justify the Marines Manevolent getting their teeth kicked in so hard they come out the back of their heads as horns.

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There is good news and bad news brother.

 

The bad news, is that you are mistaken about there being no zealous follow up.

 

The good news is that you are mistaken about there being no zealous follow up!

 

Enjoy:

 

https://www.blacklibrary.com/warhammer-40000/quick-reads/vengeful-honour-ebook.html

Edited by Brother Adelard
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The good news is that you are mistaken about there being no zealous follow up!

 

Enjoy:

 

https://www.blacklibrary.com/warhammer-40000/quick-reads/vengeful-honour-ebook.html

Considering Games Workshop tends to confuse "love to hate" with "love" (note the many stories where the author himself apparently tries to justify downright treasonous behavior, e.g., what Matt Ward wrote for 'Codex: Grey Knights'), I have NO CONFIDENCE that story will end with the Templars taking justice for the slain Champion. Some edgelord with delusions he's Dan Abnett 2.0, will probably have the Marines Malevolent assault a Templars strike cruiser and kill all the Templars on board- with the latter inexplicably deciding to act like Orks and charge straight into the lines-of-fire of the Marines Malevolent, because the edgelord is a talentless hack who must lobotomize the opposing forces to give his Villain Sue protagonist a fighting chance- and afterwards, the Inquisition will claim the Marines Malevolent acted in self-defense (despite the fact they shot first), and order the Templars to give the former the strike cruiser, as punishment for doing the right thing.
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Nick Khyme is the same person who has added the layer of METAL to the Salamanders lore (example: dead chapter master? lower his body into a volcano by hand using massive chains that brand the chapter symbol into your palms). 

 

That said, I still stand by the actions of the Marines Manevolent in every showing they have basically show why they are fodder for Renegade conversion.

 

That aside....

 

YKYABTW your letter opener looks suspiciously like a functional full-scale Black Sword.

 

You make a Black Sword:

 

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When you recognize your own Zeal's faults.

 

 

 

"We cannot just stay here,’ snarled Bohemond. ‘Koorland, give the order to attack!’
 
Koorland hesitated, trying to find another way of opening up the fortress.
 
‘What manner of Lord Commander are you?’ Bohemond continued. ‘Lord Vulkan, I have held my tongue, but now I must speak. Our brother of the Imperial Fists would barely make the rank of Chapter Master in better times. Why do you support him as Lord Commander?’ The primarch said nothing.
 
‘We’re still outside their field,’ remarked Thane. ‘How do we breach the gate?’
 
‘With this,’ said Vulkan, brandishing Doomtremor. He looked at Bohemond and tossed the weapon onto a pile of rubble a few metres ahead of their position.
 
‘High Marshal, prove to me you are worthy of my support instead of Koorland.’
 
Bohemond did not hesitate, but burst from the ruins. A single blast from his jump pack took him to the massive hammer. Seizing the haft in both hands, he tried to lift Doomtremor. It barely rose a few centimetres, servos whining in the Black Templar’s armour. A second later he dropped the hammer and staggered away.
 
‘Any others?’ Vulkan announced. He pointed at Quesadra. ‘Crimson Fist, would you be Lord Commander instead?’
 
‘If you will it, lord primarch,’ replied the Chapter Master. Bullets pinged from the rubble as he advanced. Bohemond stepped back with a shake of the head.
 
‘It is a trick, brother, nothing more.’ The Black Templar stalked back to his warriors while Quesadra strained to lift the primarch’s hammer without success. Koorland watched all of this in silence, wondering what Vulkan was trying to prove.
 
‘Lord Commander, your turn,’ said the towering warrior, waving a hand towards Doomtremor.
 
‘You wish me to use your hammer to break the gate of the fortress, Lord Vulkan?’ said Koorland, holstering his pistol. ‘Is that the challenge?’
 
‘It is.’ Koorland looked at Doomtremor and then the gate and back to the power hammer. It was clear none but Vulkan had the strength to lift it conventionally. The Lord Commander raised a hand to the Fists Exemplar beside him.
 
‘Thane, bring your squad with me.’ Koorland set off over the rubble, the Fists Exemplar in tow. At his direction, Thane and two others helped him take up Doomtremor, like a siege ram of ancient times.
 
‘Cover fire!’ ordered Koorland, breaking into a run, the others matching his pace. The remaining Fists Exemplar poured what fire they could towards the slits and ramparts of the gate-crags. Bullets spitting past them, explosions tearing up dirt and brick in their wake, Koorland’s assault team dashed between the crag-towers, lifting Doomtremor to their shoulders. Bolt impacts and lascannon blasts spattered them with splinters and molten rock from the walls above.
 
‘Now!’ Koorland told his companions. They hurled Doomtremor as a javelin. Head wreathed in lightning, the hammer struck the gate like a thunderbolt. Metal shattered under the impact, the detonation of power shearing the entire gate from its mounting. The Lord Commander and his warriors drew their weapons to open fire at the stunned orks within, stepping into a mist of molten steel. Koorland felt the tread of Vulkan approaching a second before the primarch passed, snatching up Doomtremor to wade into the greenskins with broad sweeps of the gleaming hammer.
 
‘There is more to the rank of Lord Commander than being the best fighter, Bohemond,’ the primarch called out, voice stern.
 
‘Great warriors follow the greatest leader."

-'The Beast Must Die' by Gav Thorpe
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  • 2 weeks later...
You watch the 'DOOM Eternal' trailer and think, "The Doom Slayer needs a proper sword- as gratifying as it is to kill the enemy with our bare hands, it is also an inefficient use of time, as a skilled swordsman can behead two people in the time needed to break one person's neck. I should ask the Techmarine if it's possible to attach a chainsword blade to a lever-action shotgun."
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You insult all four Chaos Gods by intentionally referring to Khorne as the "Boob God" (intentionally misidentifying the Blood God as Slaanesh, his most hated rival), Slaanesh as the "Prickly Poser," Tzeentch as the "Green Teetotaler," Nurgle as the "Toilet Paperer," and Malice as "Mal Who?"

 

And no Chaos worshiper has the guts to correct you.

 

Incidentally, does anyone have good insults for Aeldari gods?

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When your Imperial Fists army project starts gravitating into a VII legion building project and you justify them having as many bodies as possible by putting them on a crusade.

 

What? Sigismund can't have all the fun!

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I'm still new to Templars, but I am quickly falling for them...

 

You know you're a Templar player when your opponent is playing Space Marines and you ask them in a firm voice "why aren't you on a holy crusade to drive the Traitor Astartes from the shrine world?!"

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  • 2 weeks later...

When you insist on arming your Marines with FOUR SWORDS, so they may form the Templars' crusader crosses at will.

 

They only have two hands? They also have two feet, encased in boots with magnetic soles. They lack ranged weapons? No, they don't- you ordered TWO Blazefire Sabers for each Marine in your squad. The 'Final Fantasy XIII' weapons are too big? Not for a Templar.

Edited by Bjorn Firewalker
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You know you are a Black Templar when you still think, that Horus would have never dared to betray the Emperor, if he has to face 6000 ... i mean 1000 zealous Swords pointing in his direction

Hell, Fulgrim would have never succeeded in poisoning Guilliman, if the Ultramarines Primarch had 1000 EXTRA zealous swords surrounding him. (Why would Templars bother protecting Guilliman? As Templars, we're ever acting for the good of the Imperium- even if the act is one we'd rather not take. The Imperium needs strong leaders, and while Guilliman is "limp-wristed" compared to our father, he is still far stronger than all the High Lords of Terra- combined!)

 

You'd think the Ultramarines Primarch would learn.

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Your Chaplain encourages you to laugh at his skull helm, as it is the face of Death. (Contrast such behavior with that of a certain pansy in the Dark Angels.) By mocking Death, the Templars demonstrate they have no fear of it.

 

When Death finally claims a Black Templar, he will laugh and say, "What kept you? Did you fear I would kick your posterior if I did not feel like moving on? You pansy." His honored ancestors will join him in laughing at Death, and the chant, "Death is a pansy!" will echo throughout the warp.

 

Asmodai (crying into Azrael's shoulder): "Why do they mock me so?"

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