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You know you're a Black Templar when....


Th!rdeye

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When you, a sub 100 year old Eliminator Sergeant, kill a Thousand Sons witch commander  that's many thousands of years old with one shot because your commanding officer gave you witchseeker bolts. Feels good to play Templars and drink in the salty witch tears. 

Edited by SydonianDragoon404
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When you’re fighting thousand sons in kill team and their psyker perils, blows himself up, and in doing so kills two of his cronies around him. Abhor the witch!

The best way to defeat a witch, is to use his own weapons against him. No, I don't mean using witchcraft against a witch. I mean tearing the witch's skull out his :censored:, and beating him to death with his own skull.

 

Ahriman (as the Emperor's Champion uses the sorcerer's own skull to cave in his chest): "That is anatomically impossible!"

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When other Chapters answer an Inquisitor's call for aid, their Marines are the "good arbiter," the Inquisitor's the "bad arbiter."

 

When we answer the call, we're the "worse arbiter," the Inquisitor's the "bad- but still better than the alternative- arbiter."

 

Inquisitor (glaring at a captured cultist): "You will pay for your heresy and treason- but first, you will answer my questions."

 

Cultist (laughing): "My body and soul are pledged to the Four Gods! You cannot hurt me any more than they have!"

 

Black Templar (drawing his sword): "Then I shall reclaim your body and soul for the Emperor, and let Him on Terra lay hands upon you!"

 

TWO HOURS LATER...

 

Cultist (crying): "And we intended to poison the groundwater, so Nu- the False God of Plagues may bless the Astra Militarum reinforcements the Inquisitor intends to summon. I beg of you, please don't hurt me anymore!"

 

Black Templar (raising his sword): "I shall pray to the Emperor, so He may know of the aid you offered in penance. Inquisitor, do you have further questions?"

 

Inquisitor (cowering behind his chair): "I didn't know anyone- in the Materium and the Immaterium- could scream so loudly. God-Emperor have mercy!"

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  • 2 weeks later...

The first words a Chaos Daemon says when you appear, are not a threat, a challenge, or a prayer to the false gods of Chaos.

 

It's "NOT YOU AGAIN!" immediately followed by the Daemon's retreat into the Warp, and it sealing up the portal that brought it to the Materium.

 

The Daemons remember what happened the last time you entered their realm. Chaos cultists whisper Slaanesh's head is still stuck inside Nurgle's large intestine.

Edited by Bjorn Firewalker
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You read the current SM FAQ and wonder wether you could get into tactical doctrine on turn 1

 

Pretty much - I'm not remotely concerned about it having any effect on my playstyle (I'm here for a laugh, not top ITC rankings after all) and just got back to blocking in some colours on Grimaldus' retinue.

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You participate in a kill team tournament and the only model who consistently performs is your Emperor's Champion as a counts as Vanguard Sgt. with relic blade. Most of my shooters missed every shot or failed injury roll after injury roll, but Sir Galahad cleaved his way through the Death Guard's melee models and trapped their blight launcher with Grandfather's Blessing in combat. I lost that game horribly but by the end of the battle my melee fighter was the sole survivor and did all the killing for me.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Your idea of "special issue ammo" is the Emperor's enemies' flesh. Out of ammo? That's why you have a chainsword: So you can carve off the Emperor's enemies' flesh and bones for use in your boltgun. (I just learned enemies you kill with the chainsaw in Doom Eternal, will spawn ammo for your guns in-game. AWESOME.)
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

Your favorite ranged weapon is a grapnel gun, with which you may pull the enemy within reach of your sword- or launch your sword (and yourself) towards the enemy, so you may cut them down.

 

Marshal Scorpius: (Addressing Primaris Marines under his command.) "Don't bother with that pansy bolt rifle! A true Son of Dorn and Disciple of Sigismund must be able to verify an enemy of the Imperium is truly dead, and not playing dead so they may stab you in the back the moment you turn away! To do so, you must be close enough to see the light fade from the enemy's eyes as they breathe their last, and to crush their throats beneath your boot, just in case!"

 

Marshal Scorpius: "Now say it with me!" (Fires his grapnel gun into a Black Legionnaire's gut. Draws a sword as he retracts the line to pull the grapnel- and the traitor impaled upon it- towards himself.) "Get over here!" (Beheads the Black Legionnaire.)

Edited by Bjorn Firewalker
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...when you buy a Land Raider Crusader for a Primaris army and then buy Centurions to put into it just to justify putting it on the table.

You force Primaris Marines to become contortionists, able to fold up their bodies like origami, so they may fit in your Land Raider Crusaders.

 

Primaris CAPT in Gravis armor: "My back is killing me!"

 

Techmarine driver: "Are you not a Son of Dorn? Have you not meditated in the Pain Glove? You should do penance if you cannot bear a mere two hours' ride in one of the Chapter's relic Land Raiders."

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...when your Chaplain needs more +ZEAL+

pXIBQq0.jpg

Black Templars Chaplain: "Only through Dorn and Sigismund, the Primarch's most loyal son, can we prove our faith in the Emperor and fuel the zeal we need to fight all enemies of the Imperium!"

 

I admit that I just felt the standard backpack was a bit meh (plus it makes that halo lean at a weird angle) and there was some room for some Templar bits that give him some chapter specific flavor...

 

Basically he's a nice model at his core, but I like this better.

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Emperor save me. I was trying to move page by page to the last so I could post a “you know” post. After tapping for several pages I look to realize in was in February.... of 2012. This thread is an ecosystem within the site. Anywhoodle forgive me if this has already been brought up but it’s been on my mind.

 

+you know you are a Black Templar when you see the new releases for 9th Ed and are fired up for a Templar starter box+

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Emperor save me. I was trying to move page by page to the last so I could post a “you know” post. After tapping for several pages I look to realize in was in February.... of 2012. This thread is an ecosystem within the site. Anywhoodle forgive me if this has already been brought up but it’s been on my mind.

 

+you know you are a Black Templar when you see the new releases for 9th Ed and are fired up for a Templar starter box+

Let me put it this way: I've already set some money aside for it, and will be setting extra money aside just to make sure.

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