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You know you're a Black Templar when....


Th!rdeye

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When you wipe out the chaos home base in Dawn of War : Dark Crusade using nothing but assault marines with melta bombs and tactical squads with flamers.

 

Because filth of that magnitude must not only be purged, but all evidence of it ever existing needs to be cleansed with holy flame. 

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When you scare the Shadow captain from joining close combat because he drew your Emperor's Champion's attention.

 

When you kill a Tzeetch Chaos Sorceror while he is in mini primarch mode(Rolled a 6 on the perils chart) who has a 2 up invul by killing him in one round of combat before he can swing.....Another skull for his base. Only six adorn his base.

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  • 3 weeks later...

You Emperor's Champion Instant Kills a Librarian. Turns out my guy REALLY hates psykers. This is like the second or third time he has fought one in a challenge and each time he rolls a 6.....well the first time he rolled three 6s....still that is some zeal.

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When you made your very first 30k game with Sigismund and a Templar Brethren unit charging out of a Land Raider, which instantly killed a Word Bearer Contemptor with one shot from a LasCannon, and proceeded to slaughter a Word Bearer Death Star in two combat phases while not losing a single member, despite being outnumbered 4:1. Glorious!

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When you Debut your 30k Imperial Fists  WIP  thread and everyone sees right through you and calls them Templars  and you dont even feel bad. 

When you paint Polux up as a Templar and give him a Knight helmet because you might need him 

When you build your breachers/warders with Templar Combat shields as opposed to  regular boarding shields because your theme is extremely important. 

When your roommate buys you  anything with a crusaders cross on it because she figures it suits you. 

When you go to an Apoc Game with Black Templars and people are like " hey do you need some more land raiders  you brought black templars right?"   So you roll  deep  with  3 Land Raider Spear head formations XD 

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I have an APOC on the 7th I am going to. I am bringing 1 Knight Crusader.

 

Which reminds me:

 When you refuse to bring any Imperial Knight at least your first one because it has to be a Imperial Knight Crusader.

 

I was thinking of what I will bring to this and I only have 4....but I got good news which led me to my next entry in this hall of wisdom:

 

When you get told your Spartan Assault Tank will be arriving the week you have an APOC and you vow to have it completed in time.

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Soon we'll be ready to sail for the warp, 

Roll boy, roll and goooo

 

Where the pretty Slaneeshi maidens come down in their flocks

With Emperor knows what dangles below

 

You prep the chainsword and I'll load the bolters

Whey heeey, roll and go,

 

Remember what i told you about iron warrior soldiers,

Even they will drop if you shoot them down belowwww

 

Load up the drop pods and attach your purity seals 

Wheeey heeey roll and go,

 

Be prepared to drop like a ton of bricks made of ZEAL 

Squash whatever they have down beloooowwww!

 

 

 

 

 

Zealots 

 

End 

 

All 

 

Lliberties 

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...you disown any relative, friend or colleague who plays any kind of witch in their armies.

 

...you travel to Scotland and refuse to leave the place until you've found Hogwarts and burned it to the ground after locking all the filthy witches inside.

 

...you often wear armor, and you can hear it yelling "WALK ME CLOSER I WANT TO HIT THEM WITH MY FIST" every once a while.

 

...you've improved your sculpting skills just so you could crucify popular witches you despise as your squad banners. Yes, I'm looking at you, Twilight Sparkle.

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When, during an ARMA3 scenario (totally non-40k modern soldier simulator), where you lead a small fireteam who are alone in a small forward outpost, dusk is falling and you see the lights of several AI-filled trucks and BTRs in the distance. You absentmindedly say "I have dug my grave in this place and I will either triumph or I will die" on open comms. To which you mates sound off on the radio, one by one:

"Alpha Actual, this is 1-2, FOR DORN"
"Alpha Actual, 1-4 here, FOR THE EMPEROR"
"Alpha Actual, this is 1-3, NO PITY"
"Alpha Actual, 1-5, NO REMORSE"
"Alpha Actual, this is 1-1, NO FEAR"

To which your eyes mist up because of all the dust and as first rounds whizz by your head and the fighting starts, you start blasting this piece, full volume, audible to everyone around you.

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