BLACK BLΠFLY Posted January 30, 2011 Share Posted January 30, 2011 The Thunderhawk came crashing down through the storm clouds. Lightning bolts struck the craft lighting it up like a beacon in the wild night storm. Down below the mass of orks looked up watching as the gunship descended upon them. Lower and lower dropped the Thunderhawk until only a storey above the hard earth it pulled up sailing over the mob. Bomb canisters then began to plummet from underneath the long swept wings, carpet bombing the vast teeming green sea of alien bodies. It's speeding wake pulled a halo of red fire around the craft as it buzzed over. The warboss Nazdreg watched the scene of epic death safely inside his battlewagon. Nazdreg's nobs all howled in rage. The warboss slowly climbed to the top of forward turret manning the rocket launcher. He squeezed his eyes tight taking careful aim then pulled hard on the trigger. The rocket came spiraling out lazily looping in towards the tail of the Thunderhawk. There was a bright explosion as the single shell hit the rear intake blasting apart the tail end of the gunship. The Thunderhawk crashed from the sky kicking up vast sections of earth as it tore into the ground. Nazdreg laughed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArcAngelShadi Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Thats pretty good, my i add a little to it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pavement Artist Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 It's a good start mate. I've got a few niggles: 1.) It is very short. Even for a short piece. We barely have time to connect with the piece before BANG, it's over. It's a good hook, give us more. 2.) It's called Bloodstrike, It's posted in the BA subforum and yet we only see a generic thunderhawk swooping in and then being taken out by a (flukey) ork shot. Dont be a tease, show us some sons of Sanguinius, let us see them doing what they do best sir! We'd love the piece twenty times more if the Bloodies showed up. 3.) It's a thunderhawk being Rokkited to death.... that's poor form sir <_< If you feel like expanding this, i'd love to read more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArcAngelShadi Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 i Really do kinda want to branch this out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pavement Artist Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Why not start your own piece shadi? You seem to have been inspired somewhat. Let's see what you can do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BLΠFLY Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 That was just the beginning - an introduction if you will. If you want to write a story feel free to do so but start your own thread. :lol: I'll have the next bit up soon. G <_< Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BLΠFLY Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 Nazdreg and his posse of huge nobs watched as the front of the gunship finally skid to a halt, great balls of crimson super heated flame erupting from the rended plates of Ceramite and Admantium. The front assault bay fell open and out spilled four large Marines clad in an assortment of vivid colors. One wore a suit of pitch black artificed armor with a polished bone white skull for a helmet. Another wore a suit of blood red power armor, he had no helmet and carried a pair of wicked long lightning claws. The third Marine was clad in bright golden armor, his face fitted with a frowning deathmask. The golden Marine had lost his left arm in the crash landing holding a wide power sabre in his right gauntlet. The last Marine was aflame and fell dead as he stepped off the plank. "Time to krump some beakies!" said the warboss as he lifted his massive power klaw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArcAngelShadi Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 you inspired me to branch out, i shall! I really like the story so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BLΠFLY Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 Cool bro !! Glad to know that. :D G ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BLΠFLY Posted January 31, 2011 Author Share Posted January 31, 2011 Nazdreg dismounted from his battlewagon. His armored boots hit the ground hard as the servos in his megarmor screamed. His nobs began to jump down beside the warboss limbering their huge choppas and power klaws. The pain boy laughed as it pulled loose it's huge syringe, injecting the each member of the mob with bright green glowing serum. The three remaining Marines had quickly moved into a nearby crater hunkering down beside the highest lip and then the front section of the Thunderhawk exploded raining down a storm of burning shrapnel and debris. The immediate blaze was so blinding that the orks had to cover their eyes looking down. When the fire died down Nazdreg looked up again to see the golden one armed Marine emerging from the blazing conflagration. He had a high collared mythril hood fastened about his deathmask and it began to glow pulsating with charged blue energies. The Warboss felt the short hairs on the back of his neck stiffen and then a bolt of arcing blue power shot out from the Golden Marine lancing through his posse. Nobs were thrown aside by the blast and those that took the full bore of the psychic attack were vaporized into a mist of blackened ash. "They got them a witch!" shouted Nazdreg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArcAngelShadi Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 you need to continue this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BLΠFLY Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 There were still plenty of Nazdreg's nobs left and they quickly scrambled to their feet as the warboss charged headlong towards the Marines. "There's only three of dem, we can take 'em. Forward boys!" bellowed Nazdreg. The Marine in black armor bellowed right back at the orks lifting his winged weapon. His warcry was so loud that it hurt Nazdreg's ears and made them ring. The Chaplain unfastened a double barreled plasma pistol from the crafted holster and fired as he charged straight at them. The pistol barked twice burning another nob to the ground. Suddenly the Chaplain was amongst the mob smashing them with his burning Crozius. Nazdreg pushed aside two of his Nobs bringing the flat end of his power klaw on the bone white skull helmet. There was the sound of a boom as the Chaplain's forcefield absorbed the blow rendering him impervious to the attack. The black Marine then swung his Crozius, holding it tightly in both gaunlets and bashed it against Nazdreg's helmet. The warboss' helmet exploded into many flying fragments as the razor sharp wings of the Crozius cut across his leathery green face leaving a deep burning scar. Nazdreg bellowed again grabbing the Chaplain in a tight bear hug. "I'll mash ya, ya crazy beakie!" The black Marine answered back driving the crown of his skull helm into the underside of the warboss' chin. His fangs gnashed together chipping off some of the broken tips. "So your a tough one then..." laughed Nazdreg as he continued to squeeze harder. "I'll pop ya like a tin can ya crazy beakie!" Nazdreg felt a burning sensation in his fat gut. The Chaplain had fired his plasma pistol point blank searing a big hole through the mega armor. His arm lock came apart as the black Marine broke free from his death hug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BLΠFLY Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 A pair of nobs covered in riveted eavy armor leaped in front of Nazdreg to shield him from the mad Chaplain. Then there came an eerie sound more blood curdling than the Chaplain. The Librarian was slowly advancing, as if walking on air. His mouth moved underneath the deathmask uttering obscene words of power. The armor on the battlewagon began to crumple and buckle under some unseen force then it imploded sucked away so quickly into a tiny black hole, almost as if it had never been there. "Thank Mork we weren't in dere!" said the warboss as he sucked in his gut. "Now get outta my way boys, it time I krumped that witch of theirs!" The Librarian descended from the air and broke into a fast charge. His force sword came straight up then he skewered the closest nob. With a mean twist on the hilt the Librarian ignited the blade sucking all of the life out from the ork. "Blut und ehre!" he shouted from behind his deathmask. Suddenly Nazdreg felt some of his mighty courage begin to ebb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bradley Powers Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Need. More. Story! It's lovely, keep it up. Small edit: in the last sentence, add "his" before "mighty courage" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BLΠFLY Posted February 1, 2011 Author Share Posted February 1, 2011 "Toten Korperteil!" came the warcry of the red Marine. His face was pale and he had a mane of fine blonde hair tied back behind his neck. His eyes glowed bright red and some ungodly aura emanated from a golden chalice fastened to his power belt. His armor was polished bright crimson and shown like fire in the dark. His pair of lightning claws swinging about wildly beheading one nob after another. Nazdreg watched in utter dread as the Blood Saint quickly set about butchering one of his boys after another. The Chaplain had finished off the pair nobs that tried unsuccessfully to restrain him. The warboss looked around to find how quickly he was all alone now. All of his hard nobs lay dead on the ground. He then looked back up to see the trio all converging upon him. His will broke like a brittle bit of twig and he turned to run but had nowhere to escape. The Librarian flashed beside him stabbing him through his mega armor. The weapon again ignited. Nazdreg could feel his innermost essence sucked loose. All his many memories of war and carnage began to flash before his dull eyes. It was very painful then the warboss felt nothing more, his dead husk of a withered body fell over crashing down. "It is over now but yet it just begins again." said the Librarian as he pulled his sword loose and deactivated the burning blade. Fiery swirls of dying fire flickered along the deep ancient runes hammered into the sword blade. The blood had clotted hard around the stump of his shoulder and he felt the endophrine rushing through his blood. He licked his lips running the tip of his tongue over his long sharp pointed fangs. "We must head west now. It will be a long hard trek but if we move fast we should be able to reach the outpost by the following evening. Hopefully there will be enough time." "Aye Brother Mercury!" said Chaplain Oztmann. "We must make haste." "You two must go ahead without me while I collect all the geneseed from our fallen comrades. I will follow behind as soon as my work here is done." said Brother Abel, their Sanguinary Priest. "Do what you can. We hope to see you again soon." said Oztmann as he saluted, then he and the one armed Librarian were on their way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BLΠFLY Posted February 2, 2011 Author Share Posted February 2, 2011 +++ Brother Abel packed the last of the collected geneseed into a canister and placed it beside the others in his medica pouch. He felt sad knowing so many of his brothers had died but that was the dark way of war. The sun had crept up over the horizon casting purple rays through the dense grey clouds. The landscape was barren and still some embers burned from the bombing. The orks had all been incinerated by the nova bombs. Only small bits of burnt metal were left. The Blood Saint refitted his lightning claws and began his trek towards the outpost. He broke into a slow running motion closing off his mind to the immediate environment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherTim Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Very good story! Keep it coming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BLΠFLY Posted February 3, 2011 Author Share Posted February 3, 2011 There came the sound of a distant humming. It interrupted Brother Abel's inner thoughts. Immediately the Blood Saint came to a stop hunching down behind a pile of clustered broken rocks. The source of the disturbance was still beyond the immediate horizon but his senses had detected it. Abel concentrated on blending into his environment then a remote image began to take form ghosting over the high plateau. The humming sound was foreign and he could not place it as he quickly sifted through his combat training memes for identification. He had replaced his helmet before committing to the trek and had access to all of his auto senses. The humming came to a sudden halt and the specter stopped. He had been detected. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherTim Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 always with the cliff hangers!!! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BLΠFLY Posted February 3, 2011 Author Share Posted February 3, 2011 Yep... Hee! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurb Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Good Stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BLΠFLY Posted February 3, 2011 Author Share Posted February 3, 2011 The specter began to move again finally taking form in the pale sunlight. It was some type of small xenos skimmer with long sweeping wings and high fins. The hull was colored dark orange and as it closed Abel could see it was heavily pitted with deep score marks along the left side. The craft had obviously seen much war. The Blood Saint primed a krak grenade and moved back putting as much of the larger rocks between him and the alien skimmer. The cockpit was blacked out and seemed to slightly pulsate at a low frequency. As it slowly moved closer the craft cast about an aura of foreboding and the Priest could see there was a pair of matched cannons under the wings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demoulius Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 lovely story :) nice to see it stays a work in progress ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BLΠFLY Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 The craft gently set down upon the rocky earth. The rear hatch flipped open and out came five tall warriors wearing plated suits of linked chainmail. They carried long pointed two handed swords covered with rows of poisoned barbs. Their helmets were like daemonic heads smiling with evil. They sprang from the hatch leaping at the Blood Saint. Abel thumbed a rune then his helmet set upon a black stone dias began to blair the fighting ode song for his chapter. It caught the Incubi offguard for the slightest moment then Abel was into them swinging his razor sharp Admantium claws shredding the dark kin alive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACK BLΠFLY Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 Claw sparked as it crashed against the swords. The fight was silent. Abel spun driving his left set of claws deep into the chest of a parrying Incubi. Using his strength he carried through and caught another dark eldar then snapped the claws slicing them both into a pile of bloody ribbons. The chainmail broke apart spilling onto the blood drenched ground. Only the Klaivex was left and he stood a top a higher boulder taking the immediate advantage of high ground. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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