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IA: Sons of Pyron v6.0


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#26
Ecritter

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Possibly, but its the understood fact that post-Hersey Legions were split into 1000 Chapters.

Source?
Because as far as I know, even the Ultramarines, the most numerous legion has been broken into 23 successors in the 2nd Founding.


I'm at work, but I'll give you the source tomorrow.

The universe is kinda big … say 4 square blocks and lots of planets have fallen between the cracks. It should not be uncommon to find a human settlement where you never knew there was one before.

And the Justicars discovered this planet how exactly? It is a little too much convenient to find a suitable, previously unknown planet, when you are just looking for one, don't you think?


I"ll explain better in IA on next draft. The Justicars didn't discover the planet. When the Imperium rediscovered Pyron they pretty much ignored it because it had nothing they needed. Much later the Justicars decided it had what they needed.

Why would be girls allowed to compete?
- Concession to Elders and part of the weird plan of original Chapter Master. Already spelled out in IA.

Why would the Elders have such demand in the first place? It is meanigless for girls to compete, because they cannot win. So what is the point in entering the tournament? Don't forget, this is matriarchal society, an situation, where the boys are prefered over girls would be great insult to the pride of the girls. Not entering the competition is far more better decision, because the girls could retain their face without losing at the end.


But you're forgetting that the Daughters were accepted into the Chapter.

Showing you're better is enough for most, even without any praise at all.

Not for me. The victory without praise is bitter than the defeat.
Apparently, the girls aren't good enough to be chosen as the aspirants, instead the defeated boys are taken. Do you know what is injustice? This is great example of such thing.


See above.

You miss the point. The honor is all for the Daughters. They are the mothers of the Chapter. Those men are just used for genetic material.

And what leads you to believe this is not insult for girls? "Okey, you have won this tournament, now go and make some babies with this guy..." - It doesn't look like honour to me. :)


In many cultures (including my 40k one) women are revered for the one ability they have that no man (or space marine) has .. namely they can make little Space Marines.

Orks aren't the smartest race in the universe. No one has said that the planet blew up to kill the Orks, but to them it sure looked like it.

Well, then your Marines aren't the smartest Marines in the universe, because obviously they believe this explanation. :D


Now you're calling every organization religion a bunch of idiots. We all believe in something that can't be proven.

Ah, but there was never an attempt to break from the Codex. They split to do a specific mission … and over time never returned to normal. Already laid out in IA.

The decision looks like it was made over night. And why was so important to split the forces? Why would they keep this specific formation over long period of time?
In Codex Chapter, the scouts and veterans are used in support of battle company most of the time, nevertheless they don't have problems to maintain these respective companies at all.


As stated in the IA, the split was made to hunt down the Orks. Since you can never fully destroy all the Orks .. it has continued.

Daughters aren't sexual devices, the men are … they're the ones used simply for genetic material.

Oh, wait. Aren't the Daughters used as the servants in the Chapter? Aren't they used as mothers of aspirants for the Chapter? Aren't they under constant surveillance in order to root out the impure? = Breeding device.

And the IA spells it in pretty clear way that they ARE objects of sexual desire. Just look at the quotes I'm replying to.


See above.

I don't see it as that hard to understand … the loss of their world was a really big event.

Okey, I didn't want to use this example, but you forced me to do it... The Christmas (and Easter) are important holiday for Christians, yet it is not alpha and omega of Christian faith.


I had a good laugh at this one. The very example you give proves the validity of my beliefs section.

Christian was a derrogatory term first used in Antioch in the first century AD to talk about those that worshiped the Christ. The religion is based on the worship of the birth, life and death of a single man ... even the name of the religion is based on him.

Pyromaniacs: To them their world died to burn the impure .. should they do less?

Purity: As set out in IA, is there anything more impure then their hated enemy? Orks are neither creature nor plant, and at the same time both … and besides THEY'RE GREEN!!!

It is not enough, really. I don't like when DIYer blames everything on single event in the history. The reason for such behaviour should be more thorough full, this is just act of angry child.

Chaos is far more worse than any Ork, because it corrupts and desecrates.


Perhaps Space Marines are angry children. The Sons burn all impure, not just Orks.

#27
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I checked and you may be right on the numbers. Its an easy fix.

Founding
In response to the ever growing threat of Chaos and the great losses suffered by Imperial forces, the High Lords of Terra ordered several foundings to replenish the dwindling numbers of the Adeptus Astartes.


Will read differently in next draft as follows.

Founding
In response to the ever growing threat of Chaos and the great losses suffered by Imperial forces, the High Lords of Terra ordered several foundings to bolster the numbers of the Adeptus Astartes.


That should fix that.

Edited by Ecritter, 08 March 2011 - 05:27 AM.


#28
NightrawenII

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The universe is kinda big … say 4 square blocks and lots of planets have fallen between the cracks. It should not be uncommon to find a human settlement where you never knew there was one before.

And the Justicars discovered this planet how exactly? It is a little too much convenient to find a suitable, previously unknown planet, when you are just looking for one, don't you think?


I"ll explain better in IA on next draft. The Justicars didn't discover the planet. When the Imperium rediscovered Pyron they pretty much ignored it because it had nothing they needed. Much later the Justicars decided it had what they needed.

Lol, you are contradicting yourself here. Either the planet was discovered by the Imperium or not... and knowing the Imperium, they don't leave the planets alone. The Imperium politicy is "You are with us or you are against us.". There is no middle ground.
Also, this brings us to another argument I made. Either the resources were mined out during the Dark Age of Technology and therefore there was no reason for miners to stay or the minning operations were interrupted by the Age of Strife, in such case the resources are still here and Imperium will be VERY interested in them.

Btw, it's funny how do you explain things only to create more questions....

But you're forgetting that the Daughters were accepted into the Chapter.
~
In many cultures (including my 40k one) women are revered for the one ability they have that no man (or space marine) has .. namely they can make little Space Marines.

Look, I don't want to continue this dialog, because it seems to me like you are adamant about your interpretation of how the Daughters-program work and you are simply too persistent to see other people's view.
So let me tell you this, the point of IA is to present and explain your view of the Chapter. If the other people don't share your view on how this works, then there is something wrong with your way of presentation.
Insisting that it is already said in the article leads nowhere, becuase it is obviously not clear enough for your readers. Meditate upon this wisdom.

Now you're calling every organization religion a bunch of idiots. We all believe in something that can't be proven.

Are you trying to make a fool of me or what? :) Because it was YOU, who first said the Orks are silly, because they believe in such thing... In fact, it is YOU, who is calling every organization religion a bunch of idiots. Don't try to be smart-ass, it always backfires.

As stated in the IA, the split was made to hunt down the Orks. Since you can never fully destroy all the Orks .. it has continued.

What exactly leads you to believe this 'split' will make them better at Ork-hunting?.Where do you get this certainity? Why wouldn't the Chapter seek the revenge as the whole? After all, most of the Crusading Chapters operates in single crusading fleet.
Or did the Orks in question fled in several directions?

I had a good laugh at this one. The very example you give proves the validity of my beliefs section.

Christian was a derrogatory term first used in Antioch in the first century AD to talk about those that worshiped the Christ. The religion is based on the worship of the birth, life and death of a single man ... even the name of the religion is based on him.

Well, if you think so, then I can't do anything with your ignorance... :P

Edit:
I would like to explain something. I'm not misunderstanding nor missing anything about the Daughters of Pyron. I simply disagree with it. I don't see any benefit nor privilege in becoming the Daughter.
You repeat the argument "It is honour for Daughters." But is it honour really? Or is it a opinion of arrogant male? Do you really think that bearing children is dream comming true for every girl of the Pyron? - These girls are comming from society, where the women plays dominant role, their ambition will be very high. Do you really think they would be satisfied with role of servants and mothers of the Chapter? - In their society are women leaders and the men servants, yet the hiearchy of the Chapter is complete oposite.
This is not question what do you or me think about the position of Daughter, it is the question what the daughters themselves think about their position in the Chapter.

Edited by NightrawenII, 08 March 2011 - 01:44 PM.

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

~ Blaise Pascal


#29
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No need talking about this anymore, it'll either be in the next draft or it won't.

Working 12 hour shifts this week so weekend will be the earliest I'll have time to rework the IA.

#30
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v4.0 up for review.

Major rewrite of Homeworld section, as well as rewrite of History and minor wording changes throughout.

C&C welcome.

#31
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Glad you kept the Daughters of Pyron bit in, for me this part is vital to making your chapter unique.

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#32
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The Daughters coming out was never an option to me.

#33
Marshal Rohr

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Dude, why?

Seriously, why?

The female gimmick is more of the same attention mongering you attempt with every new IA you write. 'Sure they arn't space marines, but they are still in my chapter'. So what? What does it matter? Do you just enjoying attempting to push the envelope? Or is the negative attention you get as feedback stand in for some other attention you desire?

Just once, write an IA with no weird eyerollers, no unbelievable catches, and nothing that attempts to be 'creative' by uselessly adding things that are... well... useless.

Your opinion is important, and someone posting here probably does care what you think. You should go tell them. Remember that it really hurts to come up with an idea you care about and have no one else care. Go care about something and tell them what you think. Now. Think of what it would have meant to you when you were young.

 

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#34
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How exactly is this different than any other Chapter Serf? Everyone here tries to make their chapter different ... its one of the rules of writing an IA "tell us how your Chapter is different."

The key in why the girls are there is to show the unique breeding process for new Space Marines that the Sons use. If you have specific concerns about the setup or writing please let me know.

EDIT:

I thank you for sharing your opinion. If you really feel its useless, feel free to ignore this and all my IAs.

Edited by Ecritter, 20 March 2011 - 08:13 PM.


#35
Darkchild130

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That's some serious dislike right there...

Personally I feel that a Eugenics program makes perfect sense when creating Space Marines.

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#36
Ecritter

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When it doesn't get personal I tend to overlook it. Its part of being here ... some people will just hate your ideas, or you. Its just bad when it comes from a Lexicanium.

Edited by Ecritter, 20 March 2011 - 07:59 PM.


#37
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I'm considering changing the first para in Beliefs section. It now reads:

For the most part, the belief system of the Sons of Pyron was spawned, in one way or another, from Pyron, its sacrifice, and the savage ones that caused its destruction.


New would read:

Since the destruction of their homeworld, the Sons' hatred of the Orks has reached a near fanatical level. Their primary goal is one of genocide, the complete extinction of the Ork race. Many of their unique beliefs, that set them apart from their progenitors, are built around the perceived sacrifice of Pyron, and those creatures that caused its destruction.


Sound better?

Edited by Ecritter, 21 March 2011 - 12:02 PM.


#38
NightrawenII

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Hmmm...

Heronus began to add young girls into into the games. Those that proved themselves worthy were added into the growing number within the Sons training program. These girls would be taught combat, both hand to hand and ship to ship, and someday man the Sons' fleet of ships.
- Simple question: Why would the girls risk their own lives in these crazy competitions?

The Master of the 1st Company assumed command of the Chapter and set it on a course of vengeance. Dividing the Sons' into five new companies, each with reserves and scouts, the new Chapter Master sent them out with two distinct missions.
- Still disagree with this.
- Why five companies?

Recruiting
- Again, Why do you have two Homeworlds? One is more than enough.

Organization
This:
Over the years the Reserves and Scouts were incorporated to become part of the five Battle Companies. The Sons of Pyron now exist as five Battle Companies of 200 marines.

... contradicts this:
Though the Sons vowed never to have a home world to replace Pyron, the need for replacements has meant that two of the companies have taken planets as permanent bases for recruiting strong men to father future marines and train them till they are assigned to one of the Battle Companies. Fleet based companies come to these two planets to be given fully trained Space Marines and Daughters of Pyron to crew their ships.

- How come two of your precious Battle Companies are acting, for all intents and purposes, like Reserve Companies?
- Why two hundred marines per Company? That's unnecessary overkill...

To be honest, this looks to me like uniqueness for uniqueness sake and nothing else.

It may seem counterintuitive but in ancient warfare, fleeing from battle was usually a good way to get oneself killed.
~ Jeffrey R. Cox - Cascading Failure: The Roman Disaster at Adrianople AD 378

 

Give the peasants neither life nor death.

~ Tokugawa Ieyasu

 

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

~ Blaise Pascal


#39
Ecritter

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Thanks for taking the time to review my IA. I'm glad to see that your questions are much less then before.

Heronus began to add young girls into into the games. Those that proved themselves worthy were added into the growing number within the Sons training program. These girls would be taught combat, both hand to hand and ship to ship, and someday man the Sons' fleet of ships.
- Simple question: Why would the girls risk their own lives in these crazy competitions?


Why do boys take part? I purposely left it out in the air as to whether it was voluntarily or they were being pressed into service ... both the boys and girls. Which would work better? I prefer to leave it up to interpretation.

The Master of the 1st Company assumed command of the Chapter and set it on a course of vengeance. Dividing the Sons' into five new companies, each with reserves and scouts, the new Chapter Master sent them out with two distinct missions.
- Still disagree with this.
- Why five companies?


Simply that five groups have a better chance to encounter Orks then a single group. That was the original purpose.

Recruiting
- Again, Why do you have two Homeworlds? One is more than enough.


Recruiting worlds with training bases on them. Not homeworlds. Do I need to add to make that more clear, I thought I had?

Organization
This:
Over the years the Reserves and Scouts were incorporated to become part of the five Battle Companies. The Sons of Pyron now exist as five Battle Companies of 200 marines.

... contradicts this:
Though the Sons vowed never to have a home world to replace Pyron, the need for replacements has meant that two of the companies have taken planets as permanent bases for recruiting strong men to father future marines and train them till they are assigned to one of the Battle Companies. Fleet based companies come to these two planets to be given fully trained Space Marines and Daughters of Pyron to crew their ships.

- How come two of your precious Battle Companies are acting, for all intents and purposes, like Reserve Companies?
- Why two hundred marines per Company? That's unnecessary overkill...


Possibly you're right. Though those two companies do patrol and fight, they do maintain recruiting and training bases. Their kinda more of a mixed organization group.

Why 200 marines, Orks normally come in larger groups and since their goal is total extermination overkill would seem to work best.

To be honest, this looks to me like uniqueness for uniqueness sake and nothing else.


We all strive to be unique here, I don't see a problem with that.

The Sons remain pretty standard, except their breeding policy, extreme Xenophobia and organization to hunt down Orks. All of which are key elements to the Chapter. Take them away, and you have UM clones.

#40
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v4.1 is up.

Boys and Girls are now pressed into service

2nd and 5th Companies are now Reserve Companies, better defined recruiting worlds.

#41
NightrawenII

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Simply that five groups have a better chance to encounter Orks then a single group. That was the original purpose.

Six Companies have better chance of encountering Orks than five Companies and seven Companies have better chance of encountering Orks than six Companies and ad nauseam.... ;)

Btw, if you want to increase the chance to encounter Orks, how come you have in the end only 3 Battle Companies? That's less than normal Chapter. ^_^

Recruiting worlds with training bases on them. Not homeworlds. Do I need to add to make that more clear, I thought I had?

Well, what is definition of homeworld in your book?

- Planet with constant presence of Chapter in the form of Fortress-Monastery.
- Base of operation for Chapter.

We all strive to be unique here, I don't see a problem with that.

Indeed, but there is difference between "uniqueness for uniqueness sake" and justified uniqueness.

The Sons remain pretty standard, except their breeding policy, extreme Xenophobia and organization to hunt down Orks. All of which are key elements to the Chapter. Take them away, and you have UM clones.

Only the combat doctrine and gene-seed is standard. All other things are quite non-standard. :P

Edited by NightrawenII, 21 March 2011 - 03:38 PM.

It may seem counterintuitive but in ancient warfare, fleeing from battle was usually a good way to get oneself killed.
~ Jeffrey R. Cox - Cascading Failure: The Roman Disaster at Adrianople AD 378

 

Give the peasants neither life nor death.

~ Tokugawa Ieyasu

 

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

~ Blaise Pascal


#42
Ecritter

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Simply that five groups have a better chance to encounter Orks then a single group. That was the original purpose.

Six Companies have better chance of encountering Orks than five Companies and seven Companies have better chance of encountering Orks than six Companies and ad nauseam.... ;)

Btw, if you want to increase the chance to encounter Orks, how come you have in the end only 3 Battle Companies? That's less than normal Chapter. ^_^


Ah but 3 double strength Battle Companies gives me 3 times the chance to find them and a greater chance to smach their little green heads :P And remember that much of the Chapter was lost with the destruction of Pyron.

Recruiting worlds with training bases on them. Not homeworlds. Do I need to add to make that more clear, I thought I had?

Well, what is definition of homeworld in your book?

- Planet with constant presence of Chapter in the form of Fortress-Monastery.
- Base of operation for Chapter.


You may have missed it, but in 4.1 it was changed so that only training facilities are on the 2 recruiting worlds.

We all strive to be unique here, I don't see a problem with that.

Indeed, but there is difference between "uniqueness for uniqueness sake" and justified uniqueness.


I feel my uniqueness is justified. ;)

The Sons remain pretty standard, except their breeding policy, extreme Xenophobia and organization to hunt down Orks. All of which are key elements to the Chapter. Take them away, and you have UM clones.

Only the combat doctrine and gene-seed is standard. All other things are quite non-standard. ;)


And alot of other small things not worth mentioning. At least I gave reasons for their non-standard practices.

EDIT:

I have made alot of concessions to make the Sons more acceptable, while still maintaining their uniqueness. The key elements I just can't give up for the Chapter.

Edited by Ecritter, 21 March 2011 - 04:06 PM.


#43
Marshal Rohr

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Look man, tons of chapters would use this breeding technique. Its a good idea. It also has absolutely no bearing on the chapter itself. In the BFG rulebook it even mentions chapter serfs and their families are recruiting potential. By force feeding the fact your chapter is heavy on 'breeding' it just adds a fairly tasteless element of sexuality that isnt needed.

Your opinion is important, and someone posting here probably does care what you think. You should go tell them. Remember that it really hurts to come up with an idea you care about and have no one else care. Go care about something and tell them what you think. Now. Think of what it would have meant to you when you were young.

 

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#44
Ecritter

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Look man, tons of chapters would use this breeding technique. Its a good idea. It also has absolutely no bearing on the chapter itself. In the BFG rulebook it even mentions chapter serfs and their families are recruiting potential.


I know its a great idea, but as far as I can find NO other chapter uses this method. If you can find another chapter that uses anything close I'd love to read about it.

The Sons are based on two very well known cultures, one respected and one hated. I'm not here to debate the morality of either, but both fit well in the cold setting of 40K.

As part of this breeding program, the Sons have for all intents and purposes created their own race of pure and superior men and women (at least in their eyes). This is a key element in the Sons beliefs and very necessary. It also goes along with both cultures I've worked around to some extent. To say that the breeding program is unnecessary undermines the entire IA. Its part of what makes the Sons different from any other chapter and therefore very necessary.

By force feeding the fact your chapter is heavy on 'breeding' it just adds a fairly tasteless element of sexuality that isnt needed.


The breeding program I've described in the IA is set up in a very clinical and non-sexual way. It is neither my goal or intent to debate the sexual hangups of anyone. The goal of the program is a simple one, to create what the Sons see as a perfect genepool to recruit from nothing, more and nothing less.

I suggest to anyone reviewing this, or any other IA, to take it on face value. In other words read what's posted and not to add thier own feelings to it or look for hidden meaning where there is none. When reviewing any IA here, its important to review what's posted and not try to 'read between the lines' or guess what the writer is meaning. If you don't know ... ask.

If the Salem witch trials taught us nothing, its that if you look hard enough and truely believe, you can find demons behind every door. We all know, or should know, how that turned out. Let's try not to make this a witch hunt.

#45
NightrawenII

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Simply that five groups have a better chance to encounter Orks then a single group. That was the original purpose.

Six Companies have better chance of encountering Orks than five Companies and seven Companies have better chance of encountering Orks than six Companies and ad nauseam.... ;)

Btw, if you want to increase the chance to encounter Orks, how come you have in the end only 3 Battle Companies? That's less than normal Chapter. ;)

Ah but 3 double strength Battle Companies gives me 3 times the chance to find them and a greater chance to smach their little green heads :P And remember that much of the Chapter was lost with the destruction of Pyron.

- The Codex Chapter four Battle Companies gives you 4 times the chance to find an Orks and the Reserves don't sit in the F-M either.
- That was then, this is now.

Recruiting worlds with training bases on them. Not homeworlds. Do I need to add to make that more clear, I thought I had?

Well, what is definition of homeworld in your book?

- Planet with constant presence of Chapter in the form of Fortress-Monastery.
- Base of operation for Chapter.


You may have missed it, but in 4.1 it was changed so that only training facilities are on the 2 recruiting worlds.

:P
Though the Sons vowed never to have a home world to replace Pyron, the need for replacements has meant that two of the companies have taken planets as permanent bases for recruiting strong men to father future marines and train them till they are assigned to one of the Battle Companies.

The problem is that you don't have single point of reference. That's why Chapters have single homeworld or none, instead the main fleet works as one.

To be honest, I think the Sons should be pure Fleet-based Chapter with the recruitment as they go. This X Company patrols Y area is sort of contradiction to their pursuit of Orks and purity and the recruiting worlds in their current state are rather redundant...

I know its a great idea, but as far as I can find NO other chapter uses this method. If you can find another chapter that uses anything close I'd love to read about it.

The Red Scorpions use something similar.

Edited by NightrawenII, 22 March 2011 - 09:42 AM.

It may seem counterintuitive but in ancient warfare, fleeing from battle was usually a good way to get oneself killed.
~ Jeffrey R. Cox - Cascading Failure: The Roman Disaster at Adrianople AD 378

 

Give the peasants neither life nor death.

~ Tokugawa Ieyasu

 

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

~ Blaise Pascal


#46
Ecritter

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Recruits are drawn from Zaebus Minoris, a small, arid world inhabited by primitive tribes of humans. The tribes' traditions tie into the recruitment process of the Chapter. Male infants are presented to the tribes' temple at the first full moon of its life. A few are taken by the "gods" - selected, after genetic testing, by Chapter Apothecaries as potential future Marines. Because these recruits will have had no experience with their parent culture, the Chapter is all the recruit will know.


Thanks for the info. I've not read anything on the Red Scorpions before. They do sound similar in beliefs, but only slightly in recruitment.

v4.2 is up now.

Chapter is now completely fleet based, though still broken down into 5 fleets.

Recruiting still occurs on the two planets.

The coupling between any male and female has been removed and the Eugenics Program better defined.

Few minor changes throughout.

I was worried that the IA was going to get too large, now it seems to be shrinking.

EDIT:

I am actually considering bringing the Companies back together as a fleet, but keeping them independent more like a Space Wolves Company. The reason being the independence developed over the long time of separation following the loss of Pyron. Thoughts?

Edited by Ecritter, 22 March 2011 - 02:01 PM.


#47
Ecritter

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v4.3 posted

Now organized into one chapter fleet .... mostly.

#48
Ace Debonair

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Ah, I keep meaning to read these guys again.

Time to get back to work.

As part of the 17th Founding, the Justicars were given the high honor of siring a new chapter of Space Marines. A training cadre was assembled and sent to the volcanic world of Pyron. There they began the long process of turning the worthy few into Angels of Death, defenders of the Imperium.


It might be better to have 'the Justicars, noble sons of Roboute Guilliman's line' or something to allude to the Sons' geneseed early on. ^_^

Master Heronus, leader of the training cadre, developed a novel idea. The recruitment process for the Adeptus Astartes had always been dependent on letting a child's environment develop worthy recruits. It was a proven method and had always worked in the past, but Heronus saw no reason for it to be the only option.

Although the games and normal recruitment of boys remained the only way for the Sons to grow to a full chapter with any relative speed, Master Heronus began to put his idea to the test. If it succeeded, it would give the Sons an option no other chapter had, and if it failed it could easily be ended with no harm done.


Perhaps 'it would give the Sons an option many other Chapters did not have', rather than isolate this idea for only the Sons of Pyron.

Heronus began to press worthy young girls into taking part in the games. Those that proved themselves worthy were added into the growing number within the Sons training program. These girls would be taught combat, both hand to hand and ship to ship, and someday man the Sons' fleet of ships.

As the first of these girls began to reach maturity, Heronus initiated his Eugenics Program and moved on to the next phase of his plan by adding adult men to the games. The men who excelled in the games would of course not be eligible to become Space Marines, as they were much too old to take part in the conversion of their bodies using the geneseed, but they were perfect for the Eugenics Program. The men who excelled in the games would have their genetic material harvested. Under Heronus' direction, chapter Apothecaries used the genetic material to impregnate the girls. In this way, finding worthy recruits was no longer to be left to random environmental chance, for the first time since the Primarchs … Space Marines were bred from worthy parents and trained from birth to be ultimate warriors.

Both boys and girls were produced in the Eugenics Program. By the time the Sons were up to full strength, with recruits raised in the conventional way, the first of the true Sons and Daughters of Pyron were ready for training.


You know, I think this would be better if the idea was not as flawless as it appears.
Perhaps a suitable subject for a sidebar, where an apothecary or similar is musing about a child born of two very capable parents who doesn't share their natural talent for fighting.

Recruitment for the Sons has been refined to the point of perfection. Recruits are no longer found, through Heronus' Eugenics Program they are bred and trained from birth to be ultimate warriors. Children born to the Daughters of Pyron are closely examined upon birth for any defect, physical or mental. Defective young are slain to save them from the curse of impurity.


Yeah, definitely needs a sidebar showing that the eugenics thing doesn't guarantee results. ^_^

Throughout their lives, the Sons and Daughters are watched and tested. Impurity is not tolerated in any form. As a result, the Sons of Pyron are the most fit, the Daughters the most beautiful, and both are warriors beyond reproach.

I don't think the Sons of Pyron would care much how the girls looked, so long as they fight as well as the blokes.

Many Orks were slain over the years, but vengeance always eluded them. After many years, and many battles, the five companies rejoined into one cohesive unit to continue their crusade on a much larger scale. But the years apart had changed them, the companies had become more independent, in thinking and action, and that remains true to this day. Though they act as one much of the time, it's not unusual for them to separate into five fleets when the situation warrants.

The organizational structure that was adopted by the Sons in those centuries apart remains the same now that they have rejoined. The size of the Chapter's fleet has grown to better fit its new crusading doctrine. The Sons of Pyron now exist as five full companies of 200 marines. The Chapter Master maintains command of the 1st Company.


Hmm. I'm not sure that forming into five bigger companies is such a good idea.

I mean, if the idea is that you're generating good recruits, reserve companies are a good way to train them up and get the best out of them.

You could have them reshape the reserve comapnies' structures to be more in line with battle companies and send one battle and one reserve company to worlds under attack from Orks, perhaps.

Other then their preference for fire based weapons, the combat doctrine of the Sons of Pyron is dictated by the Codex Astartes and remains inline with other Space Marine Chapters.


That's all for your combat doctrine?

Nothing about furious marines who never, ever give ground when confronted with greenskins, or preferring to use the overwhelming force of two hundred space marines to crush opposition to the Imperium like a man swatting a troublesome fly? :D

-=-=-=-=
Overall, not bad. Not bad at all.

I can see why parts of the Eugenics thing makes people a bit uncomfortable, though.
Reading about apothecaries impregnating women with genetic material was a bit off-putting, and I suppose others might find the whole subject... well, creepy.

Regrettably, I haven't got any ideas how to avoid that. :huh:

#49
Ecritter

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Thanks for your input Ace, as always it was very helpful. You and NightrawenII have helped alot. I'm working 12 hour days ... so I'll get back to this in a day or two with a newer version.

#50
Darkchild130

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I can see why parts of the Eugenics thing makes people a bit uncomfortable, though.
Reading about apothecaries impregnating women with genetic material was a bit off-putting, and I suppose others might find the whole subject... well, creepy.


I personally find flying skulls and lobotomised, zombie children zipping about on implanted wings creepy, but they're ten a penny in 40k! ^_^

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