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IA: Dire Wolves


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#26
Brother-Sergeant Bohemond

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Im not sure that Salvius would decide for each marine which 'faction' they join. The thing with the Deathwing and the Raveneing in established fluff is that the Deathwing Company is the 1st company, the vets who know about the fall, while the Ravenwing are the 2nd company, the elite bikers. To be a Ravenwing biker, one would have to, inmo, be veeeeery good at being a Biker.

Also, remember that the deathwing (little 'd') is the inner circle, all people who know about the fall are 'deathwing' while all 1st Company are deathwing and Deathwing. At least, thats the rule for the Unforgiven.

Im curious as to their relationships with the Dark Angel and other Unforgiven Chapters, how do they interact, if called to assist the DA in capturing a Fallen, do they abandon thier post? if not, and the fallen escapes, how does this affect their relationships?? Do they follow the more Legion style of the other Unforgiven, or do they do their own thing in everything (which, potentially, could have...consequences...with the other however many DA successors). Thats what i am interested in when I see 'DA/Lion successor' Chapters, because the Fallen are the Most Important Thing in the DA fluff at the moment.

But, on the whole I like it!

#27
Banelord

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I have got a difficult diet of exams coming up, so I probably won't be able to offer more critique for a while, but I would advise giving each section its own skullheader.


No-prob, thanks for the help so far. :rolleyes:

Im not sure that Salvius would decide for each marine which 'faction' they join. The thing with the Deathwing and the Raveneing in established fluff is that the Deathwing Company is the 1st company, the vets who know about the fall, while the Ravenwing are the 2nd company, the elite bikers. To be a Ravenwing biker, one would have to, inmo, be veeeeery good at being a Biker.


I’m thinking of breaking away from the fluff a bit, for this chapter anyway :mellow:. This death wings mission is to “absolve their shame is through the total destruction of the Emperors enemies”. The ravenwing mission is to act activity look for the fallen and uphold their pledge to the Unforgiven. :confused:

Also, remember that the deathwing (little 'd') is the inner circle, all people who know about the fall are 'deathwing' while all 1st Company are deathwing and Deathwing. At least, thats the rule for the Unforgiven.


Going to put all under the Inner circle. <_<

Im curious as to their relationships with the Dark Angel and other Unforgiven Chapters, how do they interact, if called to assist the DA in capturing a Fallen, do they abandon thier post? if not, and the fallen escapes, how does this affect their relationships?? Do they follow the more Legion style of the other Unforgiven, or do they do their own thing in everything (which, potentially, could have...consequences...with the other however many DA successors). Thats what i am interested in when I see 'DA/Lion successor' Chapters, because the Fallen are the Most Important Thing in the DA fluff at the moment.


Thanks, given me lots to think about. :evil:
"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#28
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interesting use of the Deathwing company, different to the other Unforgiven chapters. So the Ravenwing are all still bikers etc?

#29
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interesting use of the Deathwing company, different to the other Unforgiven chapters. So the Ravenwing are all still bikers etc?



The Ravenwing is all about tracking the fallen down then quickly reacting, or helping other unforgiven, So yes really. But I’ll have to think about that, as a standard company could do that also. :Elite:

The death wing is simply a group of very angry marines wanting revenge….They hear the stories of the fallen and other traitors and just go into a rage. :D


edit: I've added a little more, still not really finished. ;)

Edited by Banelord, 28 April 2011 - 11:10 AM.

"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#30
Brother-Sergeant Bohemond

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cool, Beserk Terminators with the Lions geneseed. I like it ;-)

#31
Arkangilos

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So would that make your Raven Wing a higher position in your circles than your Death Wing?

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#32
Banelord

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So would that make your Raven Wing a higher position in your circles than your Death Wing?



Not really, the search for the fallen is considered secondary, they do it more out of duty, that’s why the ravenwing been given the sole job of doing it. They believe they have to prove themselves in the eyes of the emperor with the total destruction of the Emperors enemies, the Deathwing take this to the extreme with the extra knowledge about the fallen, they feel the have more to prove. :(


Deathwing: The Deathwing is the chapters vanguard, it has the honour of upholding the beliefs of the chapter, leading their fellow battle-brothers by example. Its contains the most fanatical battle-brothers, eager for battle, devoted to total destruction of all heretics. With the profound knowledge about the Fallen, they fight with the rage and savagery of wild beasts, refusing to relent until they have proven their worth within eyes of the Emperor.

Ravenwing: The Ravenwing are the disciplined hunters of the chapter. They have the sinister duty of tracking down members of the Fallen and upholding the pledge to their fellow Unforgiven. They are highly mobile, aboard the Emperor’s Retribution, working independently from the chapter they follow up any lead no matter how small. They prefer to stalk their prey and slowly wear them down until they expose a weakness, which they then quickly take full advantage of.



EDIT:This what I hope this explains in a bit better.


cool, Beserk Terminators with the Lions geneseed. I like it ;-)



That’s the plan ;)

Edited by Banelord, 29 April 2011 - 02:19 PM.

"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#33
Banelord

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Had some time to add a little more and edit what I’ve all ready written. ^_^ Lots more to add though, I’m already up to 1772 words already hope I can fit it all in ;)
"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#34
Walter Payton

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Had some time to add a little more and edit what I’ve all ready written. :lol: Lots more to add though, I’m already up to 1772 words already hope I can fit it all in :sick:


You're fine. Worry when you get to 3000+

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#35
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Had some time to add a little more and edit what I’ve all ready written. :lol: Lots more to add though, I’m already up to 1772 words already hope I can fit it all in :sick:


You're fine. Worry when you get to 3000+

Worry when you are over 7000 words (trimming the Wings of Death article was murder, as is helping Aurelius Rex trim any of the DH articles, they seem to go on forever without boring you)

#36
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Had some time to add a little more and edit what I’ve all ready written. :) Lots more to add though, I’m already up to 1772 words already hope I can fit it all in ^_^


You're fine. Worry when you get to 3000+

Worry when you are over 7000 words (trimming the Wings of Death article was murder, as is helping Aurelius Rex trim any of the DH articles, they seem to go on forever without boring you)


True dat. [b]Octovulg[/b[ drummed 3000-5000 into me when I was doing the Legio Solemnitas.

"Never die easy."


#37
Banelord

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Hows this for a member of the Inner circle?


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"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#38
Brother-Sergeant Bohemond

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Very nice, I like it. It works with the chapter. But remember, the Inner Circel doesnt wear robes to say 'lookey here, im an inner circle dude. Watch your step, brothers' the robe is the symbol of disgrace, it is how the DA and their brethren hide their shame from their fellows. Only those who are privy to the truth, or part of the truth, wear the robes. Sometimes they dont, apothecaries often know about the fallen and the stain on their honour, but most dont wear robes.

Scout sergeants, ditto. The robe is, to those ordinary brothers of the chapter, a symbol of veterancy. To those who wear it, it signifies shame, disgrace and the desire for vengance and the need for forgiveness.

So an appropriate title for it might be, merely, Veteran Sergeant.

Cheers,
Boh

#39
Banelord

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Very nice, I like it. It works with the chapter. But remember, the Inner Circel doesnt wear robes to say 'lookey here, im an inner circle dude. Watch your step, brothers' the robe is the symbol of disgrace, it is how the DA and their brethren hide their shame from their fellows. Only those who are privy to the truth, or part of the truth, wear the robes. Sometimes they dont, apothecaries often know about the fallen and the stain on their honour, but most dont wear robes.

Scout sergeants, ditto. The robe is, to those ordinary brothers of the chapter, a symbol of veterancy. To those who wear it, it signifies shame, disgrace and the desire for vengance and the need for forgiveness.

So an appropriate title for it might be, merely, Veteran Sergeant.

Cheers,
Boh



Thanks :P , I just thought that wearing black tabards ((Black Templar Style <_< )) would be a bit different than just painting their armour black, like other unforgiven Deathwing/Ravenwing. Full black robes I would keep for the Masters and other important members, But do like the whole double meaning thing, a symbol of veterancy and shame. B)


Edit:

Ravenwing: The Ravenwing are the disciplined hunters of the chapter. They have the sinister duty of tracking down members of the Fallen and upholding the pledge to their fellow Unforgiven. They are equipped as a battle-company aboard the Emperor’s Retribution but prefer to remain a highly mobile force. They prefer to stalk their prey and slowly wear them down until they expose a weakness, which they then quickly take full advantage of. The Ravenwing only answers to the current Grand Master and Master Interrogator-Chaplain Salvius. Working independently from the chapter they follow up any lead no matter how small, returning to Bernicia only to receive new recruits.


What do you think of this? Can't make up my mind if it sounds right?

Edited by Banelord, 09 May 2011 - 03:17 PM.

"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#40
Brother-Sergeant Bohemond

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Its quite good. Hmmm, maybe change the name though? Often DA successors rename the two 'wings', this is to make themselves seem more independent of their parent. Perhaps the 'Dierwing'?

Ummm, so, does this mean that they will not aid other battle-companies in a campaign? thats what itn seems to me to be like. The big thing with the fallen is that it takes agggges to find one. Even with near on 10 chapters looking for them....

Sometimes we find a heap within 2-3 years, other times we fin them 100, 200 years apart. or longer. So, they cannot always be looking for the fallen. They are a Company solely on Bikes/speeders. They have a Company-Master and they assist with the other companies. they operate like a Biker version of the 1st Company. BUT they know SOMETHING about the fallen (not as much as the 1st Company, casue they are not as important, usually), which means they get deployed to help track them down, if neccessary. Thats why they have teleport homers. So we can drop a couple of sqads of DW right on top of 'em -_-

#41
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Direwing, sounds better and it fits ;) .


Sometimes we find a heap within 2-3 years, other times we fin them 100, 200 years apart. or longer. So, they cannot always be looking for the fallen.


Good point, this ravenwing specialize in tracking/fighting for the fallen, is abetter way of putting it I guess, they will fight alongside the chapter but it’s only the ravenwing that will be sent to go after the fallen allowing the rest of the chapter to continue in defending the Imperium. The Deathwing become so caught up in proving their loyalty through combat that searching for the Fallen has become secondary, but they will kill them if they can and help if needed. :P

Deathwing: The Deathwing is the chapters’ vanguard; it has the honour of upholding the beliefs of the chapter, leading their fellow battle-brothers by example. It contains the most fanatical battle-brothers, eager for battle, devoted to total destruction of all heretics. With the profound knowledge about the Fallen, they fight with the rage and savagery of wild beasts, refusing to relent until they have redeemed themselves within the eyes of the Emperor.

Ravenwing: The Ravenwing are the disciplined hunters of the chapter. They have the sinister duty of tracking down members of the Fallen and upholding the pledge to their fellow Unforgiven. They are equipped as a battle-company aboard the Emperor’s Retribution but remain a highly mobile force. They prefer to stalk their prey and slowly wear them down until they expose a weakness, which they then quickly take full advantage of. The Ravenwing remain secretive, even among their own brothers, only answering to the Grand Master and Master Interrogator-Chaplain Salvius. They fight along side the rest of the chapter, but can mysterious leave to work independently following up any lead no matter how small, only returning to receive new members.

Still working on it :lol:

Edited by Banelord, 10 May 2011 - 08:52 AM.

"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#42
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Yea, thats better, just dont make it out like all they do is hunt the fallen down...they still need to help out their fellows every so often. But, its looking good!

#43
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Yea, thats better, just dont make it out like all they do is hunt the fallen down...they still need to help out their fellows every so often. But, its looking good!




edited it again :)

Direwing: The Direwing are the disciplined hunters of the chapter. They have the sinister duty of tracking down members of the Fallen and upholding the pledge to their fellow Unforgiven. They are equipped as a battle-company but prefer to remain a highly mobile force. They stalk their prey and slowly wear them down until they expose a weakness, which they then quickly take full advantage of. The Direwing remain secretive and detached, even among their own brothers, fighting along side the rest of the chapter in specialist hunter-killer squads. But they can mysterious leave, reforming the company aboard the Emperor’s Retribution, to follow up any lead no matter how small, only to return once their mission is complete.


"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#44
Brother-Sergeant Bohemond

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Yup! Looks good now. Good job :P

#45
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Updated my first post a little more. I think I’ve got my Deathwing and Direwing ((RavenWing)) explained a bit more, thanks to Brother-Sergeant Bohemond :) . Still needs more work on the home world and recuitment ect ect..... But its getting there :(
"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#46
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From their very inception the chapter were influenced by Interrogator-Chaplain Salvius. He was devoted and inspiring Chaplain, the youngest to be admitted to the Inner Circle after discovering the truth by him-self, he has always been a fiery and out spoken individual. During his career, there were several instances when Unforgiven chapters failed to support Imperial forces or abandoned a campaign at a critical juncture, only to follow up a false lead. Salvius believed this was against the teachings of Lion El'Jonson; the defence of the Imperium should be their primary concern, the Emperor would judge them by their own actions not that of their Fallen brothers. He expressed his views very openly, within the Inner Circle, and this angered many members, who wanted him mind-scrubbed. Instead he was allowed to join the Dire Wolves, who eagerly accepted his radical teachings. Initial they refused to help with the search for the Fallen, choosing to prove their loyalty in other ways. But this caused a rift, risking open warfare, between them and the rest of the Unforgiven. As way to resolve it the Direwing were created and granted the sacred mission of searching for the Fallen, upholding their obligation to their brothers. So far, this has been seen as a successful compromise by many Supreme Grand Masters, but there are many within the Inner Circle who still does not wholly trust Salvius and the Dire Wolves……


Have not had alot of time to work on this lately, but i've tried to add a little more to the Origin and their relationship with the rest of the unforgiven. This is what i've got so far, what do you think? :D
"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#47
Bjorn Firewalker

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Initial they refused to help with the search for the Fallen, choosing to prove their loyalty in other ways. But this caused a rift, risking open warfare, between them and the rest of the Unforgiven.

I find it unlikely the Dire Wolves will refuse to hunt the Fallen- they're traitors, after all, a threat to the Imperium- but will believe the Dire Wolves initially "Failed to persecute the hunt for the Fallen with sufficient zeal," with the other Unforgiven seeing the Dire Wolves' decisions to continue fighting instead of withdrawing to go on a hunt, as poor excuses.

“War is not about dieing for the Emperor but making the enemy die for his!”

I like the use of General Patton's quote, but there's a problem: there is only ONE Emperor, any other claimants are either xenos or traitors (Horus). The quote should read, "Wars are not won by dying for the Emperor, but by making the enemy die- as an offering to Him on Terra."

Edited by Bjorn Firewalker, 19 May 2011 - 05:29 PM.

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#48
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thats not much better. They would already have had them hunting down the Fallen. The hunt is about our shame, the shame of failure. Each marine learns more and more allegorical tales about treachery, failure, success, succeeding despite overwhelming odds etc: Each brother is indoctrinated to despise traitors, when they learn the truth, its a 'hey, what?' moment, followed by tears and rage against said traitors. How dare they betray the Lion? (he was not very forgiving him self either) We are taught how awesome he is, even more than that ;) Guilliman, or Leman...

The Chappie would have been killed for heresy against the Legion, against the Primarch and against their mission. Its just the way the unforgiven operate, until evy one of those traitors is forced to repent (read: captured, tortured and killed) then we are still failures in our eyes

#49
Banelord

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Thanks for the replies :D

@ Bjorn Firewalker

I find it unlikely the Dire Wolves will refuse to hunt the Fallen- they're traitors, after all, a threat to the Imperium- but will believe the Dire Wolves initially "Failed to persecute the hunt for the Fallen with sufficient zeal," with the other Unforgiven seeing the Dire Wolves' decisions to continue fighting instead of withdrawing to go on a hunt, as poor excuses.


I think “refuse” was the wrong wording, but I do like "Failed to persecute the hunt for the Fallen with sufficient zeal," might have to borrow that or use something similar ;) .

I like the use of General Patton's quote, but there's a problem: there is only ONE Emperor, any other claimants are either xenos or traitors (Horus). The quote should read, "Wars are not won by dying for the Emperor, but by making the enemy die- as an offering to Him on Terra."

Glad someone noticed it ;) , I like it but it a bit long for a battle cry, I’ll play around with it a bit see if I can come up with something.

@Bohemond

thats not much better. They would already have had them hunting down the Fallen. The hunt is about our shame, the shame of failure. Each marine learns more and more allegorical tales about treachery, failure, success, succeeding despite overwhelming odds etc: Each brother is indoctrinated to despise traitors, when they learn the truth, its a 'hey, what?' moment, followed by tears and rage against said traitors. How dare they betray the Lion? (he was not very forgiving him self either) We are taught how awesome he is, even more than that :cuss Guilliman, or Leman...

The Chappie would have been killed for heresy against the Legion, against the Primarch and against their mission. Its just the way the unforgiven operate, until evy one of those traitors is forced to repent (read: captured, tortured and killed) then we are still failures in our eyes



Hmmm true, Maybe his views change after he leaves the Angels of Vengeance? Or he only voices them to his new chapter? This could be the reason they are distant from the rest and only allow the Direwing to help with the Fallen because if the rest of the Unforgiven found out their true beliefs it would could cause war? I’ll have another think :D

Edited by Banelord, 19 May 2011 - 06:52 PM.

"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#50
Banelord

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Hows This? still a bit rough ^_^

From their very inception the chapter were influenced by Interrogator-Chaplain Salvius. A fiery and inspiring individual, devoted Chaplain and the youngest to be admitted to the Inner Circle after discovering the secret for him-self. He became the primary choice to become the spiritual teacher of the new chapter. While teaching the Dire Wolves on Anatolia, Salvius started to spent large amounts of time studying the local population and became enthralled by them. It was here that he started to question some of his beliefs. During his career, there were several instances when Unforgiven chapters failed to support Imperial forces or abandoned a campaign at a critical juncture, only to follow up a false lead. Salvius started to believed this was against the teachings of Lion El'Jonson; the defence of the Imperium, and its people, should be their primary concern, the Emperor would judge them by their own actions not that of their Fallen brothers. Once training was complete, Salvius was the only member of the training cadre to stay. This gave him free rein to express his radical teachings, which the Dire Wolves eagerly received. Choosing to prove their loyalty in other ways, initially they were accused of “Failing to persecute the hunt for the Fallen with sufficient zeal". This caused a rift, risking open warfare between them and the rest of the Unforgiven, reluctantly they accepted this as their duty. The Direwing were created and granted the sacred mission of searching for the Fallen, upholding their obligation to their brothers. So far, this has been seen as a successful compromise by many Supreme Grand Masters, but there are many within the Inner Circle who still does not wholly trust Salvius and the Dire Wolves……


Edited by Banelord, 19 May 2011 - 08:32 PM.

"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves





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