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IA: Dire Wolves


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#76
Brother-Sergeant Bohemond

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How about 'Supreme Grand Master Saul' and 'Grand master of the Librarians Mordecai'?

#77
Banelord

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How about 'Supreme Grand Master Saul' and 'Grand master of the Librarians Mordecai'?


Thanks ^_^ I'd like these.

Started to work on adding to the beliefs, got this so far but not finished.

The Dire Wolves are considered devoted and gallant but highly aggressive. They view themselves as Liberators rather than Guardians of Mankind, believing that Imperial subjects are just as important as planets or resources, this has helped develop an honourable reputation within the ranks or the Imperial Guard and even within the Ecclesiarchy. They would fight to the death rather than allow a single Imperial citizen fall into Xeno or traitor hands, throwing themselves in to battles which most would consider already lost, protect areas which look to be of no tactical importance and even lead crusades of Liberation deep in Xeno held territory.


"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#78
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Yup, looks good. I really like how you have taken the fallen aspect of the DA geneseed and turned into something new, yet easily recognisable

#79
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Yup, looks good. I really like how you have taken the fallen aspect of the DA geneseed and turned into something new, yet easily recognisable



Thanks :D thats what i'm trying to aim for :mellow:

Hows this for beliefs? Still a WIP.


The Dire Wolves are considered devoted and gallant but highly aggressive. They view themselves as Liberators rather than Guardians of Mankind, believing that Imperial subjects are just as important as planets or resources, this has helped develop an honourable reputation within the ranks or the Imperial Guard and even within the Ecclesiarchy. They would fight to the death rather than allow a single Imperial citizen fall into Xeno or traitor hands, throwing themselves in to battles which most would consider already lost, protect areas which look to be of no tactical importance and even lead crusades of Liberation deep in Xeno held territory. They do not worship the Emperor as a god but as the founder of the Imperium and their creator. However, any kind of disloyalty to the Emperor, no matter how small, is abhorred by the chapter and they will go to any lengths to punish, those they consider, traitors. Combined with the general lack of superstition in Bernicia culture, they have developed a deep, some say fanatical, mistrust for any form of religious conviction. This sometimes puts them in opposition with other organizations within the Imperium, but their proven history of zealous loyalty is enough to prevent them being Investigated.


"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#80
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Its pretty good, however this:

'They view themselves as Liberators rather than Guardians of Mankind, believing that Imperial subjects are just as important as planets or resources, this has helped develop an honourable reputation'

Soooo, they guard people, however, they dont class themselves as defenders, but as liberating conquerors?? Perhaps you could expand on the liberating idea a bit more, at the moment it reads 'we are guardians of humanity, howeve, we see ourselves as too special to be mere guardians and we have to call it liberation!'

Perhaps, instead, they are a chapter that defends humanity yes, but perhaps they have been at odds with other chapters for bombing civs, inquisitors who would order an exterminatus too readily? they hate corrupt officials, whether they are the governor, a member of the Guard or a Church representative, and so they will be ready to strike at these people as they see them as the oppressors of their people.

So, in practice, this works like this: banelords arrives to fight agaisnt an Ork incursion, then, after defeating the Orks find out that the planetry governor has been supporting big companies that are exploiting the people. This then leadsw them to remove the government and establish a new, less corrupt regime in its place. Thus, they are Liberators!

#81
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Its pretty good, however this:

'They view themselves as Liberators rather than Guardians of Mankind, believing that Imperial subjects are just as important as planets or resources, this has helped develop an honourable reputation'

Soooo, they guard people, however, they dont class themselves as defenders, but as liberating conquerors?? Perhaps you could expand on the liberating idea a bit more, at the moment it reads 'we are guardians of humanity, howeve, we see ourselves as too special to be mere guardians and we have to call it liberation!'



Good point, I didn't notice that thanks :D I like the ideal of expanding the liberation part, they could believe treating the emperors people badly is a crime worthy of punishment sort of thing.... I have think and see where it goes. :eek
"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#82
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The Dire Wolves are considered devoted and gallant but highly aggressive. They view themselves as Liberators, freeing Imperial subjects from Xeno tyrants, misguided heretics and even corrupted governors. They would fight to the death rather than allow a single Imperial citizen to be enslaved, throwing themselves in to battles which most would consider already lost, protect areas which look to be of no tactical importance and even lead crusades of Liberation deep in Xeno held territory. These actions has helped develop an honourable reputation within the ranks or the Imperial Guard but they have developed a deep, some say fanatical, mistrust for any form of religious conviction, viewing it as nothing better than slavery. Combined with the fact they do not worship the Emperor as a god but as the founder of the Imperium and their creator, this has often put them in opposition with other organizations within the Imperium, such as Ecclesiarchy and Inquisition. However, any kind of disloyalty to the Emperor, no matter how small, is abhorred by the chapter and they will go to any lengths to punish, those they consider, traitors. Many, oppressive and inapt, Imperial commanders have unexpectedly disappeared after a visit from the Dire Wolves, but their proven history of zealous loyalty has been enough to prevent them being investigated.

Lion El'Jonson is viewed as the definitive warrior thus they endeavour to follow his example. From the moment they become a neophyte they are told of the great deeds of Lion El'Jonson during the Great Crusade and the Horus Heresy. They are told of how the Emperor and their battle-brothers were desperately fighting to protect Earth, while the Dark Angels and The Space Wolves rushed to their aid. The fact that they failed to arrive in time to prevent the Emperor being mortally wounded is view as Lion El'Jonson greatest and only dishonour. This belief drives the Dire Wolves to constantly prove themselves in the eyes of the Emperor, the stronger the enemy the better, both as a chapter and as individuals.


Hows this so far? I just can't work out how this would effect their relationship with the Adeptus Mechanicus? Any suggestions? Thanks :huh:

Edited by Banelord, 22 June 2011 - 12:21 PM.

"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#83
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Ad Mech: easy, you be pragmatic and realise that, while they are enslaving humanity in their own way, it is more prudent to get Wargear to deal with Xenos and corrupt governors, so you respect their differences and let them do their own thing.

They do the usual Space Marine thing and distrust the admech, let the Master of the Forge and TechMarines do the correspondence with the admech and that way the more...zealous of your brethren cannot say/do anything...potentially...embarrasing...

But, apart from a few typos, this looks really good! My approval, for what its worth, is given to your Chapter.

#84
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And the DA geneseed is very pure. so thats an excuse if I ever saw one.


True, thats why its strange why they seldom use it ;) . This is from the DIY guide:


Probably because up until this chapter, they kept running off in the middle of battles :P.

Good IA, and good responses to Criticism :D Keep it up :D

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#85
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We dotn always run away from battles..... :)

No, seriously, I always hate that reputation, becuase of the fact that a fallen only shows up every, what 100 years? More? So, we run away from every battle? And, theres like 10 Chapters of us...we cant all run away...

But, hey, thats a debate for another day :)

#86
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Been a sometime since I’ve worked on these :) , but after looking at them with fresh eyes I’ve decided to do a small edit and change a few things. I’m happy with the way they are going but still think I’m missing something, just can’t put my fingers on it ;)
"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#87
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“I, the Lion, will judge you, not on your success in the hunt, but upon your dedication to the vision of my Father, to this end I choose you to initiate a crusade to purge the Emperors enemies, to provide a shinning beacon in these dark times” -Book Of Revelations


First, just use a normal text size.

Second, you should put a period in after Father, spell it "shining", and not capitalize "of".

Centuries after the Age of Apostasy, the might of the Imperium was still dangerously undermined. The devastation caused across the Segmentae and the untold losses in Imperial resources, especially the destruction of several invaluable Chapters of Adeptus Astartes, the drastic increase of foul Xeno and heretic activity and the loss of countless systems had caused a massive shift in power. In the latter part of M37 the 23rd Founding had been created in order to restore stability. Crafted from the gene-seed of the 1st Legion, the Dire Wolves were sent to bolster the defences of Segmentum Pacificus.


Should be "was created", not "had been created".

Salvius had heard many tales about gods and monsters during his time on Anatolia, one such myth was that of the Dire Wolf. The myth goes how the gods became angry with the people for their lack of faith. They sent a creature know as the Dire Wolf to punish them. It is said to be four times the size a man, to have a head of a wolf and body of a bear. It began to kill and devour people in a great slaughter; only the truly faithful were protected from its wrath… This reminded Salvius of the sacred mission of the Unforgiven, so deemed it a fitting name for the chapter.


At this point we don't know much about Salvius, and nothing about Anatolia.

Shortly after the trial of faith, the first Grand Master Aloysius, lead the Dire Wolves in successfully purging the Space Hulk Messenger of Woe and recovered several scared relics including suits of Tactical Dreadnought Armour and a rare Dreadnought chassis. It was during the purging that Interrogator-Chaplain Salvius had suffered grievous wounds fighting the Genestealer Patriarch. So it was that he had the honour of being interned in the chapter’s first dreadnought.


And we know nil about this. And I don't know that it really adds that much.

From their very inception the chapter were influenced by Interrogator-Chaplain Salvius. A fiery and inspiring individual and devoted Interrogator-Chaplain, He was the primary choice to become the spiritual teacher of the new chapter. Legends say that while training on Anatolia, Salvius started to receive visions from Lion El'Jonson. At first he dismissed them as nothing, mere dreams, until they began to speak to him. It is said that the Lion told him, “I, the Lion, will judge you, not on your success in the hunt, but upon your dedication to the vision of my Father, to this end I choose you to initiate a crusade to purge the Emperors enemies, to provide a shinning beacon in these dark times”. Nobody knows if it was the true Lion El'Jonson, but it was enough to make Salvius question his beliefs. Initially, stories of the visions began to spread throughout the Inner Circle, casting much doubt on the Dire Wolves true motives.


And again, we don't know anything about Anatolia yet. Also, Anatolia is an actual place, and one that is sort-of known in the 41st millenium (as the birthplace of the Emperor) - I'm not sure it's a good planetary name. New Anatolia, maybe.

Training initially began on the Death-World of Anatolia prime in the Anatolia Sector. Like Caliban of old, Anatolia was covered in lush forests and inhabited by thousands of deadly creatures. For more than a millennium the Dire Wolves were a fleet based chapter but this death-world still remained a source of recruitment.


The sector wouldn't likely be named for a death world. They're usually named for the sector capital, as I understand it. Or for something unrelated.

* * *

I'm not really sure what the point of some of this stuff is. For example, why does Anatolia matter at all?

Edited by Octavulg, 11 July 2012 - 04:13 PM.

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#88
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“I, the Lion, will judge you, not on your success in the hunt, but upon your dedication to the vision of my Father, to this end I choose you to initiate a crusade to purge the Emperors enemies, to provide a shinning beacon in these dark times” -Book Of Revelations


Second, you should put a period in after Father, spell it "shining", and not capitalize "of". done

Centuries after the Age of Apostasy, the might of the Imperium was still dangerously undermined. The devastation caused across the Segmentae and the untold losses in Imperial resources, especially the destruction of several invaluable Chapters of Adeptus Astartes, the drastic increase of foul Xeno and heretic activity and the loss of countless systems had caused a massive shift in power. In the latter part of M37 the 23rd Founding had been created in order to restore stability. Crafted from the gene-seed of the 1st Legion, the Dire Wolves were sent to bolster the defences of Segmentum Pacificus.


Should be "was created", not "had been created". done

Salvius had heard many tales about gods and monsters during his time on Anatolia, one such myth was that of the Dire Wolf. The myth goes how the gods became angry with the people for their lack of faith. They sent a creature know as the Dire Wolf to punish them. It is said to be four times the size a man, to have a head of a wolf and body of a bear. It began to kill and devour people in a great slaughter; only the truly faithful were protected from its wrath… This reminded Salvius of the sacred mission of the Unforgiven, so deemed it a fitting name for the chapter.


At this point we don't know much about Salvius, and nothing about Anatolia. Going to move that.

Shortly after the trial of faith, the first Grand Master Aloysius, lead the Dire Wolves in successfully purging the Space Hulk Messenger of Woe and recovered several scared relics including suits of Tactical Dreadnought Armour and a rare Dreadnought chassis. It was during the purging that Interrogator-Chaplain Salvius had suffered grievous wounds fighting the Genestealer Patriarch. So it was that he had the honour of being interned in the chapter’s first dreadnought.


And we know nil about this. And I don't know that it really adds that much. just to explain why he still alive really.

From their very inception the chapter were influenced by Interrogator-Chaplain Salvius. A fiery and inspiring individual and devoted Interrogator-Chaplain, He was the primary choice to become the spiritual teacher of the new chapter. Legends say that while training on Anatolia, Salvius started to receive visions from Lion El'Jonson. At first he dismissed them as nothing, mere dreams, until they began to speak to him. It is said that the Lion told him, “I, the Lion, will judge you, not on your success in the hunt, but upon your dedication to the vision of my Father, to this end I choose you to initiate a crusade to purge the Emperors enemies, to provide a shinning beacon in these dark times”. Nobody knows if it was the true Lion El'Jonson, but it was enough to make Salvius question his beliefs. Initially, stories of the visions began to spread throughout the Inner Circle, casting much doubt on the Dire Wolves true motives.


And again, we don't know anything about Anatolia yet. Also, Anatolia is an actual place, and one that is sort-of known in the 41st millenium (as the birthplace of the Emperor) - I'm not sure it's a good planetary name. New Anatolia, maybe. I didn’t know that, it’s also ancient Greek for Asia Minor :lol:

Training initially began on the Death-World of Anatolia prime in the Anatolia Sector. Like Caliban of old, Anatolia was covered in lush forests and inhabited by thousands of deadly creatures. For more than a millennium the Dire Wolves were a fleet based chapter but this death-world still remained a source of recruitment.


* * *

I'm not really sure what the point of some of this stuff is. For example, why does Anatolia matter at all?


I’m still working on this, I’m thinking of taking it out or merging some of it with Bernicia.. :lol:

Thanks for the input mate ;)
"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#89
Octavulg

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I didn’t know that, it’s also ancient Greek for Asia Minor


Indeed. That's where the Emperor was born.

just to explain why he still alive really.


You could do that in a sentence somewhere.

What are you trying to accomplish here? I'm not really getting a sense of the goal of the IA.

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#90
Banelord

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A group of dark angles who believe in trying to live to the beliefs of the great crusade, freeing and uniting humanity, is the way to get forgiveness rather than chasing after the fallen. Knight of the round table/ Knight Templar’s group of good guys trying to do the right thing in a bad place.... If that makes sense? I know probably been done 100 times before :P I’ll see how it goes......
"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#91
Banelord

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The Dire Wolves are regarded as devoted, gallant, uncompromising and honorable by Imperial citizens. They view themselves as champions, freeing Imperial subjects from Xeno tyrants and misguided heretics. Fighting to the death rather than allowing a single innocent to be enslaved, committing to battles which most would consider lost and even leading crusades deep into Xeno territory. However; they do not worship the Emperor as a god but as the founder of the Imperium and their creator. This has cultivated a deep mistrust with the more fanatical fractions within the Imperium and has often put them in opposition with other organizations, such as the Ecclesiarchy and Inquisition. Nevertheless, any kind of disloyalty to the Emperor is abhorred by the chapter. It has even been alleged that many oppressive, and inapt, Imperial commanders have unexpectedly disappeared after a visit from the Dire Wolves, but their proven history of loyalty has been enough to prevent these rumours from being investigated.


Don't know if this helps?
"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#92
Banelord

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Major rewrite, tried to concentrate on who they are rather than technical details. :D
"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves


#93
Banelord

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Major rewrite, tried to concentrate on who they are rather than technical details. :D
"Attack" is the only order worth remembering!
Khârn of the Worldeaters.

"Thought Begets Heresy; Heresy Begets Retribution"

WIP: Dire Wolves





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