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Index Astartes: Angels of Malediction


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#1
Hrvat

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Chapter Name:Angels of Malediction
Founding: 2nd [021.M31]
Chapter World/Deployment: Fleet Based/Crusading Chapter
Fortress Monastery: Krakus [Battle Barge]
Gene-seed (Predecessor): Dark Angels
Known Descendants: None



Origins

Knights Errant

Angels of Malediction

Space Marine Chapter

 

Since the founding of their Chapter in the early days of the Imperium, the Space Marines of the Angels of Malediction have been feared by their foes and praised by those they save. Tenacious and unforgiving in battle, the Angels of Malediction are among mankind’s most zealous protectors. Yet it is more than simple duty that drives them to war and rumours persist that they are on a quest of some sort that may yet prove to be their undoing.
 

 

gallery_21152_4921_22212.jpg
Battle Brother, 2nd Company, 6th Squad
The Angels of Malediction can trace their origins into a time before the Horus Heresy and the subsequent event known as the Second Founding when the old Space Marine Legions were broken into smaller formations called Chapters. As with so much of the most ancient history of the Imperium these events have been lost to legend. All that is known for sure is that the Angels of Malediction were once part of the Dark Angels Legion of Primarch Lion El’Jonson and even that is known only to a few of the most high ranking officers of their closest kin.

 

The current Chapter owes much to their first Grand Master, a Terran Veteran of the Great Crusade by the name of Godemyr. When the Emperor’s Legions were launched to reclaim the galaxy for humanity he was appointed Master of the first vanguard Chapter of the First Legion. As the conquest radiated from the cradle of mankind it was always Godemyr and his men that first lunged into the void, ever ready to break the darkness and bring the light of the Emperor to the lost strands of humanity. It wasn’t long before others referred to them as the light bearers.

Fighting at the end of the supply line forced Godemyr to explore less direct approaches to battle and relay on far more precise reconnaissance, than the main combat Chapters of the Legions. Being a reasonable man many of his acquisitions for the Imperium were achieved without unleashing his Marines so as the Great Crusade progressed he penned down his experiences and doctrines to aid his peers. His works were widely acknowledged and used until they were later improved upon by various other commanders, including Primarchs.

When the First Legion finally found their primogenitor, Lion El’Jonson, on the death world of Caliban, they were renamed from the First into the Dark Angels Legion. This name did not sit well among the Terran veterans of Godemyr’s Chapter. Though the name invoked images of heroic individuals from Calibanite legends Godemyr and his men preferred to be called the First. They believed that such a sinister name would clash with the idea of the Great Crusade, but for all their unease with the name they accepted new Calibanite brothers with open arms. The knightly culture from which most of the new recruits hailed reminded Godemyr greatly of his own people in the mountainous hinterlands of Spalatum on distant Terra.

Now lead by their Primarch the Dark Angels rose to become one of the greatest, overshadowed only by the Luna Wolves Legion, of Primarch Horus, first among the Primarch brotherhood. As he was always in the forefront of his Legion’s advance Godemyr played a significant part in obtaining that hallowed position. For his dedication and valorous deeds the ruler of Mankind himself honoured him with the title of Emperor’s Myrmidon, his most lethal and loyal warrior, just one of the few dozen Marines to bear that prestigious title. Only months later that would be put to a test unlike any he ever expected.

In the 7th year of the 31st millennium Primarch Horus raised the banner of rebellion and half of the Space Marine Legions joined his side, abandoning the Emperor for the dark gods of Chaos. The news reached Godemyr at the very edge of human colonisation among the Shield Worlds, fighting alongside the rest of the Dark Angels Legion. Seeing the dream he fought for over two centuries, a dream he bled for and saw his friends and kin give their lives for, now brought to ruin changed him. Previously taciturn and calculating commander famed for his careful approach and laser like precision gave in to a terrible anger like those written in the ancient myths of his home world. Thought his warriors tried to calm his spirit none could understand the depths of his anguish, none save the Lion and maybe a few other veterans that remembered the Great Boarding so long ago.

Ever a master of war Jonson unleashed Godemyr upon the traitors, even going as far as granting him the request of donning the crimson gauntlet, the ancient war symbol of his people, and his chapter out of love and respect followed suit. As the Imperium tore itself apart in a civil war the light bearers once more lit the galaxy, but this time with fires of retribution that consumed the worlds which sided with Horus. With the codes of conduct broken and honour cast into mud Godemyr finally became what he knew was always at the core of his being. Gone was the chivalrous knight of yesteryears, in his place a slayer stalked the stars akin to an ancient god of death risen from the underworld to pass judgement on mankind.

For all their greatness the Dark Angels failed to arrive in time for the final battle upon Terra, so when their ships broke from the warp Horus was already dead, his minions in retreat and the Emperor mortally wounded. The Lion and his angels executed an immediate combat drop alongside Russ’s wolves and from that distant age to the very present one image haunts the sagas of the Space Wolves, histories of the Imperial Fists and battle songs of the White Scars, an image of red handed murderer roaring in atavistic rage as he vented his fury slaughtering the traitors. His men found him weeks later among the ruins of his old home as silent as the defiled statues of his ancestors. His people were no more, reduced to simple playthings of the Emperor’s Children traitor Legion and sacrificed for their pleasure. In his eyes he was a failure, unable to protect his Emperor and his people he had become worthless. In such a catatonic state he was taken aboard as the Dark Angels prepared to depart for Caliban to rearm before setting upon rebuilding what was sundered.

Godemyr was absent from the events that came to pass on the Dark Angels return to Caliban and the horrible apocalyptic war they fought against their fallen kin. Only now they fully understood him, and blinded by their fury they destroyed their own world. It is said Godemyr regained his senses in the very moment when Jonson was struck down by the traitor, Luther, made instantly aware by some otherworldly sense of the tragedy that has transpired. In the conclave that followed the senior members of the Legion agreed never to reveal their shame and to forever strive to erase the stain on their honour.

Not long after, Roboute Guilliman, Primarch of the Ultramarines completed his Codex Astartes and old Space Marine Legions were divided into smaller Chapters of roughly 1000 battle brothers in an event named the Second Founding. The Dark Angel Legion split into several new Chapters yet of these only four are widely known in the 41st millennium. One of those lesser known are the Angels of Malediction, the former first vanguard Chapter known as the light bearers. Godemyr named his new army after the very beginning of the old Legion, taking the name of the feast upon which the First Legion was founded by none other than the Emperor himself. Restored to his old demeanour Godemyr led the Chapter into the darkness of the void for there was much to be done.

For another forty years Godemyr led the Angles of Malediction, reconquering worlds lost during the Horus Heresy. On the very edge of the Eye of Terror on a world whose name is lost to memory the Chapter countered an offensive of the World Eaters Traitor Legion. From the beginning the campaign went ill as they faced none other than Angron, the fallen Primarch. Days of brutal fighting accounted for more than a third of the Chapter’s warriors and their landing zone was in danger to be overrun. Gathering the few remaining Terran veterans he led a counterattack to cover the retreat of the rest of the force. The Emperor’s Myrmidon was last seen carving his way through the Berzerkers of Khorne on a direct path towards Angron himself, his honour and pride demanding nothing less.

The Angels of Malediction then virtually disappeared from the records of the Adepts of Terra. Persecuting foes beyond the borders of the Imperium the Chapter strove to emulate the deeds of their founder in the Great Crusade. Unexpectedly they do return from the wilderness space into the Imperial held subsectors to aid other armies of the Imperium. Emerging from the darkness of the void like death itself none knows their agenda; often those that receive assistance are not even aware of their presence until they descend upon the enemy. On the completion of their mission they depart as suddenly as they have arrived, leaving no one wiser, but deeply thankful of their intervention.



Home World

 

The Kothar Directive
Mostly isolated from the rest of the Imperium the Angels of Malediction were forced to improvise and adapt. The process of retrofitting tanks based on the Rhino chassis from one into another has been known for millennia, but the transformation is not taken lightly by the Adeptus Mechanicus or the Techmarines of the Adeptus Astartes. Pressed by the lack of fighting vehicles, during the subjugation of Elish, a previously lost human world with a fairly developed understanding of technology, Grand Master Kothar ordered the Chapter’s Techmarines to provide him with the tanks he needed to break the opposition. At first reluctant to obey the order to debase the sacred machines the Techmarines delved deep into the secrets of the Rhino’s design. After days of research, fasting, prayer and consulting the Emperor’s Tarot they came to the conclusion that the ability to fit and retrofit the Rhino into any form needed was inbuilt into its design and therefore planed. Further research showed similar finds in other STC templates at their disposal and the inquisitive minds of the Techmarines were ensnared upon a path of discovery. Soon the Angels of Malediction had at their disposal a variety of fighting vehicles far more diverse than what their limited production capabilities would suggest.

 

As befits their crusading endeavour Angels of Malediction have no home world to call their own. Instead the facilities needed for the proper functioning of a Space Marine force are dispersed upon the Battle Barges, Strike Cruisers and Forge Ships of the Chapter. At the heart of their Fleet is the Battle Barge Krakus, a potent vessel constructed at the Jovian shipyards before the Great Crusade. The interior of the ship has few if any counterparts among the Battle Barges of the Adeptus Astartes. Most of the carrying capacity is sacrificed to provide more space for the main Apothecarion, the central Librarius and the breathtaking Cathedral of the Godemyr’s wrath.

Due to the nature of their existence the Angels of Malediction recruit wherever and whenever opportunity presents itself. On worlds visited all the boys of suitable age will be gathered from the vicinity of the landing. To become an aspirant of the Chapter they will be subjected to ancient ritual trials of the Unforgiven. While their flesh will be sampled for genetic deviancies and mutations they will be tested to show their mental and spiritual strength as much as their physical capabilities. Those selected will receive the blessed organs that separate Marines from mortal men. The aspirant will then join the 10th Company, where under the stern gaze of tutor sergeants they and their peers will be transformed into full Space Marines. Though the sergeant to whom he will be assigned determines when he is ready for the final test, the battle brothers along which he will be sent to fight will judge if he is worthy or not of the right to bear the sacred power armour of the Adeptus Astartes.

Resources are hard to come by for the Angels of Malediction so far from regular lines of supply provided by the Forge Worlds of the Adeptus Mechanicus. The lack of a home world further hampers this as the Forge Ships available to the Chapter can barely produce all that is needed to sustain a constant war effort. To partially counter these shortages the Chapter is wont to harvest resources of the worlds they battle for. Once the fighting has ended the ships of the Angels of Malediction will hang above the planet like some ancient leviathans, while conveyor vessels load men and materials needed to continue their endless task. Sometimes when pressed by need the Chapter will descend upon uninhabited worlds, asteroids or comets to replenish their depleted storage decks.



Combat Doctrine

 

 

Mordekai Moriarty Third Company Master
The Master of the Third Company of the Angels of Malediction is the most wildly known warrior of the Chapter outside the ranks of the Unforgiven. Sent by the Grand Master on an errand within the borders of the Imperium he and his warriors had won much renown as well as grudging respect of other Chapters they fought alongside on their mission. Taciturn and sombre he is completely devoted to the task given to him and will brook no interference in achieving his goal. Preferring to direct his troops from a distance he is no stranger to personal combat as attested by several captains of other Chapters acknowledging his superior swordsmanship during their training duels.

 

As it is with their kin, the Dark Angels, the Angels of Malediction fight according to doctrines laid out in the Codex Astartes. Often heavily outnumbered and operating far from supply lines the Chapter relays heavily on it scouts to provide accurate reconnaissance and preliminary hit and run attacks. The Angels show remarkable patience in dismantling enemy forces sometimes applying as many as two dozen lesser assaults, rather than a few powerful ones to ensure victory. Though when the time comes or the need dictates the Angels of Malediction do not shy away from direct frontal assaults.

Engagements observed by others have been reported as highly effective and seamed well planed based on the execution. Drop Pod assault is a tactic favoured by the Company Masters. Supported by ample amounts of Land Speeders and Thunderhawk Gunships needed for extraction and redeployment once the objective is met, Space Marines of the Chapter have encountered few foes that can match them. In recent years assaults launched via Lightninghawk gunships, smaller cousins of the Thunderhawks, have been noticed to gain in popularity.

A practice frowned upon by many other Space Marines has rooted itself within the Chapter. The Angels of Malediction sometimes use stim-packs, more commonly known as combat drugs, to boost their abilities. It is a dangerous practice developed during the dark days of the Age of Redemption when the Chapter was reduced to barely two hundred battle brothers following a disastrous war against the Beil-Tan Craftworld.



Organisation

The Angles of Malediction follow the dictates of Codex Astartes as much as their needs and divergent beliefs allow them. Their organisation mostly matches that of Codex adherent Chapters such as the Aurora or Genesis Chapter. Having a veteran, four battle, four reserve and a scout company they even differ from the other Unforgiven. The 1st Company is known as the First and is made out of the veteran members of the Chapter. Their purpose roughly combines the tasks performed by the Deathwing and the Ravenwing of the Dark Angels, locating and capturing the Fallen. The First does not take to battle exclusively in terminator armour as their more famous counterparts but rather follows a more flexible Codex approach.

The other Companies also only superficially follow the Codex. Each is made out of 100 battle brothers divided into 10 Crusader squads. The division between Tactical, Assault and Devastator squads has over time been eroded as individual Companies had learned to expect the unexpected in the vast expanses of the wilderness space. Each Marine in the Company is expected to be proficient in all three duties as well as being able to operate any of the vehicles attached to the Company. Though different squads no longer exists on paper, in reality Marines converge to the modes of operation they are most proficient with. On rare occasions battle brothers will deploy in scout armour when the situation at hand requires more experienced warriors than those provided by the 10th Company.

The higher echelons of the Angels of Malediction match those of the other Unforgiven apart from a small variation. The First are not considered part of the Chapter’s headquarters and a separate group of warriors known as the Paladins takes the place of Honour Guards employed by strictly Codex adherent Chapters. These elite Marines form retinues of the members of the Inner Circle, who are not Company Masters, when they take to the field of battle. On rare occasions these embodiments of virtues all Angels of Malediction aspire to may be attached to a Company if the Grand Master deems their presence will be needed in the conflict at hand. From the members of the Paladins a warrior is selected through ritual combat. The winner serves the Chapter as the Emperor’s Myrmidon of the Angels of Malediction, honoured to be the living personification of the Godemyr the light bringer.



Beliefs

To the Angels of Malediction, the Emperor and the Lion are distant figures, mythological forefathers of their brotherhood. Both are revered as the greatest men of their age but it is the persona of Godemyr that is in the centre of their veneration. They themselves maintain they are custodians of his oath, sworn to protect mankind and scour the starts of any trace of the heretic, the mutant and the xeno, carrying on the ideals of the Great Crusade. Nothing shall stay their hand until the day all of humanity is united under the benevolent gaze of the Emperor.

The legendary intolerance for non-humans among the descendants of the Dark Angels has taken an even darker path in the Angels of Malediction. As their oaths bind them they will not only refuse to fight alongside any alien races but actively pursue any information on their locations in order to purge them from the galaxy. Who knows how many alien species have been exterminated for the security of mankind’s future? This sense of a divine mandate to cleanse the stars spreads even to humanity. Various strains of abhumans are treated no different than the xeno by the Angels of Malediction. Some in the Ordo Hereticus have linked reports of destroyed fringe abhuman settlements with rumours of the Chapter operating in the vicinity, but to this date no full blown inquiry has been launched.

The persecution of the Godemyr’s oath drives the Angels of Malediction ever onwards into the darkness between the stars, but there is another motive why the sons of the Lion scour the remote places of the galaxy. Like all of the Unforgiven they bear the burden of the terrible truth that mars the honour of the scions of the First Legion, the existence of the Fallen. The zeal and tenacity with which they pursue the fallen is matched by few if any other Unforgiven. When it is believed that a Fallen is located the Chapter’s Chaplains will whip the brethren selected for the mission into a hate filled, vengeful frenzy, with their fiery oratory. Nothing is allowed to stand in their way and should a Fallen be captured a fast ship will depart the fleet on its way to the Tower of Angels.

Following the events of the Horus Heresy and those that transpired on Caliban Marines that followed Godemyr to found the Angels of Malediction grew increasingly mistrustful of anyone outside a small circle of Chapters with whom they shared either a blood or an honour bond. The betrayal of the Tech Adepts of Mars was never forgotten and Godemyr vowed his warriors would never depend on the treacherous progeny of the Machine God, no matter how dire the circumstances. They would stand on their own and if the Emperor wills it they will fall on their own. Not a single Techmarine has ever been sent to Mars to be trained, the Angels of Malediction preferring to pass down their own teachings and traditions from one generation of Techmarines to another. Many of the Forge Worlds that turned from the Emperor in the past ten thousand years have felt the Chapter’s wrath.



Gene-seed

Instruments of War
Fighting wars on worlds long separated from the rest of humanity inevitably led to the discovery of equipment long thought lost or even completely unknown to the Imperial military machine. These among others include the versatile Lightninghawk gunship, Goliath battle harness and the Maglev pattern multi-purpose plasma cannon. In addition the Chapter included into their armoury some vehicles not usually used by the Adeptus Astartes such as the ambiguous Leman Russ Battle Tank, especially the Punisher variant. The galaxy is a big place and the actions of the Angels of Malediction have gone unrecorded for now.

Belonging to the illustrious bloodline of Lion El’Jonson the Angels of Malediction can call upon one of the finest pedigrees in the Imperium. Their geneseed is pure and untarnished but nothing is left to chance. The Chapter maintains a disproportionally large number of Apothecaries in order to insure no mutation occurs in their organs and all of them function without any deviations. The need to maintain their genetic purity is one of the Chapter’s fundamental drives and living link to the time when the Emperor and the Lion walked among them. Without a reserve position to retreat to it is paramount all, if possible, gene-seed gets harvested from the slain battle brothers. The need to maintain a stable number of gene-seeds had birthed a tradition that each individual progenoid gets extracted as soon as it matures, circumstances allowing. It is also a rare occurrence for less than half a dozen Apothecaries to be dispatched with a strike force. Though contact with the Adeptus Mechanicus is virtually nonexistent the Chapter’s gene-seed tithe is regularly delivered through one of the other Unforgiven Chapters acting as intermediaries.

Battlecry

“For the Emperor!”, “For the Lion!” and “Remember the Myrmidon!” are all equally used with the later being preferred when facing traitor Space Marines.


Edited by Hrvat, 30 March 2019 - 06:22 PM.


#2
Hrvat

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Hello fellow gamers at the begining of my new project. Several days ago I got an urge to make a Black Templar force but since I am not good at painting black and after failing to find a good solution to have Black Templars in a colour other than black I decided to turn to the next best solution, creating a DIY Chapter. Though I am aiming to create a chapter that is basicaly Black Templars in another colour I want to do it in an interesting a believable manner. In addition to provide me with a bit more challenge I decided to use the Deathwatch tables for Chapter creation.

removed due to changes



Though Index Astartes format is the most common format seen these days I have decided to reach into the past for another format not seen in a very long time and veterans among you will remember Codicium Imperialis from yesteryears. It is a much larger format allowing me to develop my new chapter in a greater depth than what is provided by Index Astartes. Along with background development I will post pictures of finished models acompanied by short descriptions about each hero, squad, vehicle etc...


Wish me luck and feel free to leave c&c.


Emperor Protects

Edited by Hrvat, 05 December 2011 - 11:33 PM.


#3
Olis

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I've yet to get the DW book - this looks good as a basis for your chapter creation, though. Got a paint scheme lined up?

Good luck btw. :blush:
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#4
NightrawenII

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Well, I have nothing to say, just...

Knights Encarmine reeks of Blood Angels rather than sons of Dorn. (or it's just me remembering Knights Sanguine. :tu: )

COMBAT DOCTRINE
Squad Mode Attack Patterns: Tactical Bolter Drill (14)
Squad Mode Defensive Stances: Swift Advance (63)
^^^
Aren't these two modes exchanged?


Cheers, NightrawenII.

It may seem counterintuitive but in ancient warfare, fleeing from battle was usually a good way to get oneself killed.
~ Jeffrey R. Cox - Cascading Failure: The Roman Disaster at Adrianople AD 378

 

Give the peasants neither life nor death.

~ Tokugawa Ieyasu

 

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

~ Blaise Pascal


#5
Hrvat

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Well, I have nothing to say, just...

Knights Encarmine reeks of Blood Angels rather than sons of Dorn. (or it's just me remembering Knights Sanguine. :tu: )


Well I rolled Red which matched the colour I am planing to use (actually I am using it allready Emperor's Champion is well on his way) I thought cool but calling the chapter Red Knights seamed a little bland, so I decided to "cheat" a bit a looked from a different name for the colour red. Vermillion, Crimson and Carmine all came as possible solutions.

Vermillion/Crimson/Carmine Knights
Knights Vermillion/Crimson/Carmine

So I finally settled for Knights Carmine but to make them roll more nicely down my tounge I used the Angels Encarmine prescedent and named my guys Knights Encarmine.

Though naming of a chapter is often linked to their lineage sometimes names different from norm appear especially in Ultramarine and Imperial Fist successors that make the most of the chapters (E.G. Subjugators and Executioners as IF successors or Mortifactors and Fire Angels for UM)



COMBAT DOCTRINE
Squad Mode Attack Patterns: Tactical Bolter Drill (14)
Squad Mode Defensive Stances: Swift Advance (63)
^^^
Aren't these two modes exchanged?


Cheers, NightrawenII.


I don't know, I didn't actually read through the rules much, matter of fact I just skimed the rules and went for the background parts. When I was rolloing for things I wasn't actually thinking of the exact rules that were writen but the what mental image the name of the ability conveyed.

Cheers


As for paint scheme think this with Templar cross on both shoulder pads for regular marines, Templar cross on left and crux terminatorix on the right for the veterans, and completely white pads for neophytes. The chest decoration will be boltgun metal and I am considering veterans and commanders to have shining gold.

Posted Image

Edited by Hrvat, 22 November 2011 - 02:37 PM.


#6
Hrvat

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As I slowly develop the Knights Encarmine I have spent the past two days pondering on their organisation and after some rearangments of the basic Space Marine and Black Templar charts with a few additions of my own.



*removed because of change - to be reposted as part of the first post when reworked



The next thing to come up with is a nice and beliveable non-codex organisation.

Cheers

Edited by Hrvat, 05 December 2011 - 11:37 PM.


#7
Hrvat

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After playing around in Word and Paint I managed to produce Knights Encarmine Organisation and Composition circa 999.M41

PICTURE REMOVED IN ORDER TO BE REWORKED


As I worked on the Organisation I tried to make it as believable as possible, hoping to avoid any possible pitfalls of "WOW we are so cool and we have tons of stuff" and "Whiskers we are so damn depleted we have nothing to fight with".

I compared the stuff with 3rd ed UM, 5th ed UM and BA just to be sure things look ok. I did end up somewhat heavy on the number of Rapid Response Vessels but considering these guys are fleed based I though it would be acceptable.

Also you should notice that names used in the chapter are all over the place showing they recruit from all over the place and if any of you have any interesting, cool or odd names you feel like sharing from your own culture/language please be my guests.


And to make sure I don't drown you just with pictures a few opening lines of the background that is being developed for Knights Encarmine.

removed because of change



The titles of all the sections have been added to the first post. If the paragraphs look strange or short have in mind they are writen in a three column form in Word with future printing in mind.


Cheers

Edited by Hrvat, 05 December 2011 - 11:34 PM.


#8
Hrvat

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More history added.

The background is developed in such a way to reflect the armies I get to play against and alongside my Knights Encarmine and to transfer certain moments from the gaming table into the background.



removed because of change



More will come, have no fear. I am just posting in managable chunks.


Comments and/or objections are wellcome


Cheers


P.S. the progression chart has been changed slightly once more to reflect the ideas that are running through my head

Edited by Hrvat, 05 December 2011 - 11:34 PM.


#9
Lysimachus

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Very, very nice Hrvat! I wish I had something a bit more in the way of constructive criticism to offer, but I really can't see any problems with it. Obviously, it's going to be a bit of a monster, but it's not supposed to be an IA so that doesn't matter at all. I particularly like all the detail of the Chapter's organization and the progression of Marines within its ranks.

Sorry not be more constructive but I figure a 'good job, keep going' post is better than none at all!

Lysimachus

#10
Hrvat

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Time for the next instalment. The first bit overlaps somewhat with the end of the last post.


removed because of change



Cheers

Edited by Hrvat, 05 December 2011 - 11:35 PM.


#11
NightrawenII

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All good, but the Duel strikes me as questionable at best.

You have just confirmed that your recruits are capable of killing each other without hesitation. That's kind of undermining trait for brotherhood of warriors, IMHO.
Second, the KE are recruiting from variety of worlds, do you think all twelve years-old boys from across the Imperium of Man are trained in armed combat?

If you really want a deathmatch, I would suggest to put it before the Exposure.

It may seem counterintuitive but in ancient warfare, fleeing from battle was usually a good way to get oneself killed.
~ Jeffrey R. Cox - Cascading Failure: The Roman Disaster at Adrianople AD 378

 

Give the peasants neither life nor death.

~ Tokugawa Ieyasu

 

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

~ Blaise Pascal


#12
Hrvat

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All good, but the Duel strikes me as questionable at best.

You have just confirmed that your recruits are capable of killing each other without hesitation. That's kind of undermining trait for brotherhood of warriors, IMHO.
Second, the KE are recruiting from variety of worlds, do you think all twelve years-old boys from across the Imperium of Man are trained in armed combat?

If you really want a deathmatch, I would suggest to put it before the Exposure.



Good point raised and I see merit in your comment. I will rewrite/relocate the section so it makes sense.

I don't think all are trained in armed combat, I actually expect most aren't but I think KE would be looking for people that are natural with weapons no matter when they had their first contact with a weapon. I will give it more though.

I have been thinking about it before and druing the writing and the Duel is tha part that I would like to include but am not certain if it is necesary considering there is a challenge afterwards. Maybe just to make the challenge more deadly?


Cheers

#13
NightrawenII

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Why do you need a dead bodies?
The point of selection process is weed out the unworthy, the death is unfortunate side effect rather than intention.

It may seem counterintuitive but in ancient warfare, fleeing from battle was usually a good way to get oneself killed.
~ Jeffrey R. Cox - Cascading Failure: The Roman Disaster at Adrianople AD 378

 

Give the peasants neither life nor death.

~ Tokugawa Ieyasu

 

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

~ Blaise Pascal


#14
Hrvat

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I do not need them. I came to the same conclusion last night while rewriting the section somewhat I am just waiting to finish "The Vaults" section before I repost all together.


Cheers

#15
Hrvat

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The remade recruitment section and the homeworlds section. In addition I have removed the current organisation graph from the post above as I am reworking it to be more Codex adherant.


removed because of change


Edited by Hrvat, 05 December 2011 - 11:35 PM.


#16
Shinzaren

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Having read everything posted up so far, I am very impressed. The only criticism I have at the moment, being limited on time, is that is very long. The Origins section alone is massive, and each section that follows is very long as well. While the majority of it is relevant, certain parts could be cut to save length, such as the more detailed description of Kalryn boarding the Krakus to slay Kazdek (The alliteration of the Ks here is getting a bit much haha). Perhaps just mention that in a desperate bid to regain control of the battle, Prince Kalryn boarded the Krakus and was defeated by Kazdek's epic channeling of Thor. I will have a more thorough critique later, once I have more time, but so far it looks good. As an Eldar player and the owner of a serious Anti-Eldar chapter, I really like what you have done with these guys. Keep it up!

Edited by Shinzaren, 04 December 2011 - 09:28 PM.


#17
Hrvat

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I am aware that it is long, much longer than an Index Astartes article. The original Codicium Imperialis articles had around 12 000 words and I am aiming to try and do it at least at the same length though I think it will and probably should end shorter. I am curently at 3 952 so I predict that this article should not be longer than 9 500 words. Once this is done as the background groundwork I will endevour to write an Index Astartes article of about 2 000 words so people that do not have the time or stamina to go through this can get an overview of the Chapter. I understand that some of the things addessed here have no place in an IA article and some things to be put in the IA will only be brushed on in this one.


Cheers

Edited by Hrvat, 05 December 2011 - 12:13 AM.


#18
Shinzaren

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Ahh, gotcha. Okay, I will keep that in mind when I review it :D

#19
NightrawenII

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Having read everything posted up so far, I am very impressed. The only criticism I have at the moment, being limited on time, is that is very long.

Said the author of Blades... ^_^

Should the population refuse Knights Encarmine are not above breaking a few bones and performing more elaborate displays of intimidation, for after all who do these people think they are to deny their sons to the Emperor.
- I missed this last time, but it's strange wording.

With enough capacity to accommodate as many as three hundred Space Marines these fortresses often serve as places where wide ranging Knights Encarmine return to rearm and resupply.
- Maybe 'wandering'?


Cheers, NightrawenII.

It may seem counterintuitive but in ancient warfare, fleeing from battle was usually a good way to get oneself killed.
~ Jeffrey R. Cox - Cascading Failure: The Roman Disaster at Adrianople AD 378

 

Give the peasants neither life nor death.

~ Tokugawa Ieyasu

 

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

~ Blaise Pascal


#20
Hrvat

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Having read everything posted up so far, I am very impressed. The only criticism I have at the moment, being limited on time, is that is very long.

Said the author of Blades... :(

Should the population refuse Knights Encarmine are not above breaking a few bones and performing more elaborate displays of intimidation, for after all who do these people think they are to deny their sons to the Emperor.
- I missed this last time, but it's strange wording.


In what way is this a strange wording, could you please explain. I consider myself quite proficient in English, but I often form the ideas in my own language so I guess there might be a problem. Do you have a suggestion how to better express that thought in English?


With enough capacity to accommodate as many as three hundred Space Marines these fortresses often serve as places where wide ranging Knights Encarmine return to rearm and resupply.
- Maybe 'wandering'?


Thanks ^_^


Cheers

#21
NightrawenII

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Should the population refuse Knights Encarmine are not above breaking a few bones and performing more elaborate displays of intimidation, for after all who do these people think they are to deny their sons to the Emperor.
- I missed this last time, but it's strange wording.

In what way is this a strange wording, could you please explain. I consider myself quite proficient in English, but I often form the ideas in my own language so I guess there might be a problem. Do you have a suggestion how to better express that thought in English?

Lol, english is not my first language too, so there you go... B)

At first, I read, "... who do these people think they are to deny their sons of the Emperor". :huh: IMHO, instead of "deny their sons to the Emperor", it should be "deny the sons of the Emperor". I think, it's better this way, but that's just opinion.


Cheers, NightrawenII.

It may seem counterintuitive but in ancient warfare, fleeing from battle was usually a good way to get oneself killed.
~ Jeffrey R. Cox - Cascading Failure: The Roman Disaster at Adrianople AD 378

 

Give the peasants neither life nor death.

~ Tokugawa Ieyasu

 

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

~ Blaise Pascal


#22
Hrvat

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Aha now I understand what you are talking about.

Should the population refuse Knights Encarmine are not above breaking a few bones and performing more elaborate displays of intimidation, for after all who do these people think they are to deny their sons of the Emperor.


If I put "of" instead of "to" the sentece would not make sense due to the difference in meaning. If I put "of" than I have to change "their" to "the" and the subject changes from "denying their sons(the people's) to the Emperor" to "denying the sons(Knights Encarmine) of the Emperor".


Cheers

#23
Shinzaren

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Having read everything posted up so far, I am very impressed. The only criticism I have at the moment, being limited on time, is that is very long.

Said the author of Blades... :)

That's The Blades thank you :) Although I am not entirely sure what you mean... Is The Blades IA to long?

#24
Hrvat

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While I was sifting over some pottery today my mind wandered away(there is only so much that can keep you interested after looking at broken shards for over an hour) and as it wandered a slight change enterd my mind.

I began working on this chapter because I got rid of most of my 40k stuff over the past year due to space and financial issues and was looking for an inspiration to build an army for me to play and compete in tournaments. I haven't been to a 40k tournament since spring 2003 and I would really like to attend once again. The inspiration hit me while I accidentally stumbled on the Black Templar codex, I have liked the image of Black Templars since the first time I saw them in C: Ultramarines as well as new background that arrived with Armageddon III and wanted to make an army of them for ages but just couldn't paint black for the life of it. So I did some impulse buying and rumaged through my bitz box, pulling out special edition Emperor's Champion from 2000 and a squad of bp&ccw metal scouts. Two weeks later I have finished one model and I still want to carry on the work on the army with the image I have chosen for them. What has been bothering me is Rogal Dorn and Imperial Fists as progenitors. I am not really into them and have realised that I would like a different Primarch.

In the past I have worked with several primarchs

Roboute Guilliman: Midnight Guard, Eagles of Prandium, Scions of Ultramar, Patriarchs of Ulixis, Vanquishers
Sanguinius: Sons of Amit, Angels Vermillion
Jaghatai Khan: Destroyers
Leman Russ: Wolf Brother
Rogal Dorn: Fists of Vengence
Lion El'Jonson: Angels of Malediction
Unknown: Crimson Giants, Light Bearers, Emerald Legion, Grey Falcons, Incendiators, Crimson Falcons, Monitors

And of all of them Rogal Dorn never really fited my vision of grim dark 40k univers.

So to the matter at hand, I had allways been a Dark Angel at heart, since they were my first ever Space Marine army many years ago. So after a travel down the memory lane as pieces of pottery moved between my fingers I made a decision that the first army to restart my gaming career in 40k will be the same as my first, with a small difference that they will be a successor with the striking colour scheme. By merging Dark Angel background and Black Templars image I will satisfy both of my wishes.


So here is a question for you fine Brethren. Is the story above amendable into a Dark Angel successor with a few name and word changes, and reworking the Kazdek section or do I need a more thorough remake?

As can be expected the progression chart will have 2 or 3 name changes and I will add a section about the hunt for the fallen.


Cheers

#25
Shinzaren

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The only issue with the Dark Angels geneseed is that if they know you are using their geneseed, you will need to deal with the Fallen in some way. There are ways around this, such as the High Lords using the DA geneseed without telling them, which they can do. Otherwise your chapter could just take a see no evil/hear no evil approach to the Fallen. They kill em if they see em, but they don't hunt em down or search to hard. Just enough to keep Ol' Azreal happy. Otherwise, they could fully embrace the Hunt for the Fallen, just replacing one of their common enemy types/engagements with 'The Fallen'

Also, perhaps elaborate on the Gates of Fire section if they are Dark Angel's successors. Perhaps they had a Fallen out (Get it? :D ), and so they kicked the DA out of their Crusade, went it alone. The DA were super ticked off, but they figured the Chaos would wipe them out and then they could return to clean up the mess and find the Fallen? The Knights survived and now relations are super tense with the DA and their successors, leading the Knights to avoid any possible engagements near DA fleets or DA space?




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