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IA: Emperor's Blade

Lysimachus

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16 replies to this topic

#1
Lysimachus

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See link to Downloads PDF file: http://www.bolterand...emperors-blade/

Edited by Lysimachus, 17 January 2020 - 04:07 PM.

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#2
Wolvar

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Nice work, its a really well thought out and unique story as well as the slant of the marines all serving in the Chapter's Reclusiam. Great piece.



#3
Shinzaren

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I hate you so much Lysimachus. So much. Man, this is another brilliant IA. Well written and well thought out. I only wonder about what the possible effects building the new Chapel/Shrine on top of such a tainted site would be? Any possible warp based corruption there?

#4
Lysimachus

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@Wolvar: Thanks, glad you enjoyed it!

 

@Shin: Pffft, I've never come up with the awesome idea of a Chapter based in the empty husk of a dead Craftworld, though.tongue.png

 

Nice idea about the possible taint, I'd never really thought of it before. I guess the site would have been thoroughly blessed before, during and after construction, but there could still be whispers in the warp around the shrine.

 

 

 

Honestly, I'm not too happy with this one. It's one of my earliest IAs and at over 5k words, it is looong.

 

I'd like to pare it down but also (speaking of corruption) I'd quite like to introduce the idea of the Ecclesiarchy having more of a role in making the Chapter what it is, almost like when the AdMech tried to create a pet Chapter with the Steel Confessors?

 

Hints about the 'coincidence' of the text being 'found' at the right time, have the crusade priests actually offering up the pilgrim army as potential initiates, maybe even have the first Chaplain killed, not by the WB, but by an unidentified assassin who is 'believed' to be a 'chaos' cultist...



#5
Lysimachus

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Hi all, been meaning to work through my various IA/ITs and get them into a suitable state for adding as PDFs to the Downloads. (Again a shout out to Bro T for the awesome templates that these will be based on!)

The Emperor's Blade are the first Chapter I've looked at, mainly because I've been inspired by the new Sisters of Battle kits to build an EB Kill-Team using SoB bits on Intercessors (and maybe even use full SoB minis in place of the Firstborn Marines?)

For the IA I've cut quite a lot extraneous words (it was loooonngg!!), also tried to heighten the implication of the Ecclesiarchy's underhanded behaviour regarding their Founding, and added a fluff piece to try to simply bring the Chapter up to date with the Dark Imperium/Primaris/Guilliman's return.

Here's the link to the PDF: http://www.bolterand...emperors-blade/

Would love to hear what peeps think re the fluff or the format?

Thanks for looking!

#6
Bjorn Firewalker

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Great job! I like the scene between Guilliman and Calgar, regarding the Primarch's decision to transfer Primaris technology to the Chapter.
Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#7
Ace Debonair

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Tiny bit of C&C, if that's ok:

On page 4, there's a bit saying the Chapter's Reclusiam is non-existent.

On page 5, Malchus insists members of the Reclusiam cannot command the Chapter.

 

I can't help but feel like at least one of his brothers would spot the loophole here - Malchus isn't part of the Reclusiam, because it doesn't exist within the Chapter after the Death of Balius. msn-wink.gif

 

 

Speaking of Balius - it's a bit unusual to say that his death caused a great change in the Chapter, and then to immediately add that it'd take several hundred years for this change to take effect. wacko.png

 

It might be better to say it marked the start of a transition in the Chapter's creed, or something to that effect.

 

 

With those two tiny exceptions: Very cool. thumbsup.gif Religious marines isn't something I generally get behind, but these guys are pretty neat.happy.png


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#8
gripschi

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Nice Lore. Despite my dislike to the Church. But iam imptessed, very good Chapter.

I have spotted several pieces which i Like (recruitment, First Crusade,...). It is a good Inspirationen for my own Zealous IA which i currently thinking over.

Like Ace Said, you need to "rework" your Reclusam Part. Due your Lore, to Septimus Death, they didnt have one.

:)
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#9
Lysimachus

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Thanks guys!

@Bjorn: thanks, I was trying to think of how to bring them up to date, and really wanted to make them a fully Primaris Chapter? I thought how Guilliman would feel about their beliefs when he returned. Then it also struck me how they'd feel about him coming back, that they'd consider the Rubicon as both a gift from God/their Sainted Primarch and a challenge, and of course they'd all be extremely eager! I figure in the present fluff (100 years or so post opening of the Great Rift) they might be a little low on numbers to account for those who had died in the process, but the rest would now be reborn as Primaris?

@Ace: cheers mate, good questions! Edit: and gripschi, sorry, missed your post!

To answer your first point, yes Balius dies before choosing any brethren to be members of the Reclusiam so after he's gone it is non-existent. However, when Septimus then later assigns Malchus to it, it does exist again, just with only one member!

If you look on page 3 it says Septimus feels that it is within his remit to assign warriors to the Reclusiam (this is old, old fluff that each of the specialist groups within a Chapter might also have regular Marines assigned who are still learning to become Chaplains/Apothecaries/whatever) but he doesn't feel it's in his authority to then advance them up through the ranks of that group, that it's the Master of Sanctity's job to appoint these trainees as Chaplains or to appoint Chaplains to the rank of Reclusiarch? But it's a catch 22 situation, because if there aren't any serving Reclusiarchs, you also can't appoint one of them to be a new Master of Sanctity?

Edit edit: Thinking about it, I guess part of the point I was trying to make is that Septimus, while tactically/strategically capable, isn't as free thinking, imaginative or innovative as others might be. He's bound to his own strict interpretation of the Codex, and can't see a way out when things go wrong. Maybe his selection was even deliberately influenced as he could be led to the conclusion that the higher ups wanted? (a Chapter controlled by the Church)

Re your second point about Balius' death, it's a butterfly effect of sorts. It is absolutely the cause of the change (if he hadn't died, new Marines would have been instructed by him, not the Ecclesiarchy's priests, and the Chapter's beliefs would have ended up more typically Space Marine. That's why he was killed in the first place, he was a barrier to the Ecclesiarchy's plans to control the Chapter!) but it would have taken time, centuries even, for those effects to become obvious throughout the Chapter?
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#10
gripschi

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Thanks for your clearification.

My understanding was: After the Death of the Chaplan, the Position was vacant, bound through Codex Rules. Septimus asked for a New Chaplan. (Did His Canidate come Back?).

But He understand the need of Spiritual Guidance. But unable to solve it Chapter Intern, He allowed Priests/etc. from the Church which acompanied the Crusade, to fill this Hole.

Further i simply deduced that they Refound the Reclusam after Septimus His Death. Not longer bound to His Sight of the Codex.

Sheers
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#11
Lysimachus

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My understanding was: After the Death of the Chaplan, the Position was vacant, bound through Codex Rules.
But He understand the need of Spiritual Guidance. But unable to solve it Chapter Intern, He allowed Priests/etc. from the Church which acompanied the Crusade, to fill this Hole.


Exactly.


Further i simply deduced that they Refound the Reclusam after Septimus His Death. Not longer bound to His Sight of the Codex.


Not quite. Septimus appoints Malchus to Reclusiam, so it exists but only one member who is not even a Chaplain!
When Septimus dies , the Chapter wants Malchus to lead but he says that he is now part of the Reclusiam, not Chapter HQ/normal chain of command, so he can't be Master. Chapter replies that if it means he can lead, they will ALL join the Reclusiam to come under his area of authority. Suddenly, the Reclusiam goes from one member to including the WHOLE Chapter!!! :lol:


Septimus asked for a New Chaplan. (Did His Canidate come Back?).


Yep, see the Chapter Org section, although it took many years for the marine to get back to the UM and a replacement to be sent. By that time they didn't want him!


Thanks!
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#12
Bjorn Firewalker

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One thing I'm EXTREMELY disappointed with regarding the game, is the fact Games Workshop didn't give us the option to upgrade classic vehicles so they can transport Primaris Marines- a HUGE waste in and out-of-universe. What's a pre-Ultima Founding Chapter going to do with its Stormravens and Land Raiders after its vanilla Marines inevitably die in battle? Scrap them all? Such a waste!

You should specify the Chapter modified its venerable Land Raiders and other Terminator-sized vehicles so they may transport Primaris Marines. I think a 70% conversion rate will do, e.g., a Land Raider that can carry 10 vanilla Marines, can only carry seven Primaris Marines after its crew and passenger compartments receive the necessary modifications.
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Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#13
Ace Debonair

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To answer your first point, yes Balius dies before choosing any brethren to be members of the Reclusiam so after he's gone it is non-existent. However, when Septimus then later assigns Malchus to it, it does exist again, just with only one member!


Ah, I see.
I somehow missed that he'd reinstated the Reclusiam! sweat.gif
 

Re your second point about Balius' death, it's a butterfly effect of sorts. It is absolutely the cause of the change (if he hadn't died, new Marines would have been instructed by him, not the Ecclesiarchy's priests, and the Chapter's beliefs would have ended up more typically Space Marine. That's why he was killed in the first place, he was a barrier to the Ecclesiarchy's plans to control the Chapter!) but it would have taken time, centuries even, for those effects to become obvious throughout the Chapter?


I totally get what you're saying; Balius' death paved the way for Ecclesiarchy-approved change within the Chapter.

I just think it's worded awkwardly in the article due to immediately telling us it was the cause of great change... but not for several hundred years.

My suggestion would be to try rephrasing it as "paving the way for great change", or being "the catalyst for the Chapter's spiritual development" or something like that - it's the same thing and still denotes that Balius' death was important, but sounds a little less clunky than "it caused great change, except it didn't show for centuries". tongue.png


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#14
Lysimachus

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Hmm, you may well have a point. Sometimes stuff sounds obvious in your head, but it's not clear when it's written down! I've got to go through and fix some stupid punctuation errors I noticed last night anyway, I'll have a look at revising that sentence too. Cheers Ace!

#15
Lysimachus

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Sorry Bjorn, not sure how but I missed your post! I couldn't agree more about vehicles, it's one of those gaming rules/retail sales things that I personally have to just ignore completely. It seems ridiculous to me that a Land Raider that can carry TDA or Centurions can't easily carry Primaris as is, and Rhinos and Razorbacks shouldn't need more than minimal changes, if any!!!
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#16
Brother Lunkhead

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=][= We're veering a little off topic with the vehicles. This has been done to death elsewhere =][=

 

Back on the subject of the Emperor's Blade...... I like what I see so far. Your PDF is very well made and was a entertaining read. Like Brother Bjorn, I too enjoyed the conversation between the Primarch and Calgar. It was well written and very consistent with current lore. I was a little lost on the Reclusium story-line, but caught it on my second readthrough.

 

For sake of convenience to the readers, you might consider including an outline displayed in this thread to augment your PDF for quick reference.

 

Good workthumbsup.gif ..... I'm looking forward to seeing more.


Edited by Brother Lunkhead, 23 January 2020 - 08:38 PM.

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gallery_26154_15777_13780.png


#17
Grey Hunter Ydalir

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As for the chapter, I'm at work and I downloaded the PDF to my home computer. Can't really get away with that at work, so I'll try and get back later, everyone is talking about something I can't browse easily while at work! teehee.gif

 

A chapter 'controlled' by the Ecclesiarchy is extremely interesting and seems very dangerous as well, as it'd be walking a knife-edge pretty much consistently. Anyway, less fluffing. I'll have more to say after I've read the thing! Not that I'm especially needed, but I'm curious now.


Edited by Brother Lunkhead, 23 January 2020 - 08:37 PM.
off topic

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The Octaguide.
The Thousand Marine Myth.

On the scale mismatch of bolts and bolters by Coldfyre

Commissar Molotov's Castigators - Essential reading for IA Creation.

"...I have seen the birth of this world and I have seen its death. I walked with the first men and I shared a beer with the last. For me everyone is both old and young at the same time as a million lifetimes pass before my eyes and humanity is like the grains of sand in the desert, each breath to me a sigh in the vast never-ending vacumn of space."
-Silver Phoenix






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