Gunmonkey88 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 When you've killed more of your own soldiers than your opponent's ... and you still table them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarriorFish Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 When you use demolition charges as pillows. If the Commissar is stupid enough to give you a rude awakening, he won't be getting up again, either. Commissars use bolt weaponry so the charge will be fine - your head not so much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FashaTheDog Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 When you use demolition charges as pillows. If the Commissar is stupid enough to give you a rude awakening, he won't be getting up again, either. What regiment are you in that issues anything to be used as a pillow, let alone allows you to sleep laying down, rather than huddled in a trench under heavy bombardment? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlangWhanger Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 ... when you get out-smarted in life and just yell "CRRREEEEEEEEED!" ... when your large blast scatters on a tied combat destroying your entire squad and your opponent's worst unit... and you celebrate your victory, calling it 'acceptable losses' ... when you shiver at the thought of less than 100 Guardsmen... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulrik_Ironfist Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 ... when you get out-smarted in life and just yell "CRRREEEEEEEEED!" ... when your large blast scatters on a tied combat destroying your entire squad and your opponent's worst unit... and you celebrate your victory, calling it 'acceptable losses' When your opponent shouts CRRRREEEEEEEED!!!!!!! While you smirk smartly at your own tactical genius... Second point tells me I was Born to be a guard player, my 1500point Space Wolves anti-horde list, requires that sort of commitment to the cause... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clanfield Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 when you refure to 'b' company holding objective sigma while assaulting with 'a' company Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoffeeGrunt Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 That actually becomes pretty necessary if you play Apocalypse and find yourself with 4 Platoons of 50, several Veteran teams, and many, many, many tanks. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulrik_Ironfist Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 So, how many men in a standard Imperial Guard Platoon? Company? Battalion? I'm talking fluff here, not how big is the biggest platoon you've made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoNameMerc Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 When you use demolition charges as pillows. If the Commissar is stupid enough to give you a rude awakening, he won't be getting up again, either. What regiment are you in that issues anything to be used as a pillow, let alone allows you to sleep laying down, rather than huddled in a trench under heavy bombardment? Or when you use the trail of your towed artillery piece as a pillow. We found the pile of dirt the spade builds up to be semi-comfortable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulrik_Ironfist Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 When you use demolition charges as pillows. If the Commissar is stupid enough to give you a rude awakening, he won't be getting up again, either. What regiment are you in that issues anything to be used as a pillow, let alone allows you to sleep laying down, rather than huddled in a trench under heavy bombardment? All you need is a flat spot. Besides my regiment sleeps in the enemy's beds, after we kill them and take them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FashaTheDog Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 When you use demolition charges as pillows. If the Commissar is stupid enough to give you a rude awakening, he won't be getting up again, either. What regiment are you in that issues anything to be used as a pillow, let alone allows you to sleep laying down, rather than huddled in a trench under heavy bombardment? All you need is a flat spot. Besides my regiment sleeps in the enemy's beds, after we kill them and take them. Man you are way too soft on your Guard. My men don't even get to properly lay down in the foxhole they share with a squad mate. Using the enemy beds? No chance, they might wake up with a case of heresy. Plus it is rare that a bed can survive the decade long sustained shelling that levels entire hives. Ulrik, that varies widely depending upon the regiment. Your "standard" Infantry Platoon is a misnomer as there is no standard. Even within a regiment, there is a difference between practical and theoretical and with a number of companies that compose the regiment, sometimes different types of companies in one regiment, other times all of the same in a single regiment. Typically, Guard organizations goes squads are part of platoons who are part of companies who are part of regiments which are assembled into temporaries armies. Each world has their own way of doing things and the terms are generally kept simple to allow for regiments of different worlds being held to a rough "standard," even if an infantry company from one world is far larger than infantry another. Take the Death Korps of Krieg Infantry Company as an example I have hard numbers on. Per Imperial Armour 5, which has a convenient two page spread on it, theoretically it has a company command squad mounted in a Centaur, two 10 strong Grenadier squads, each with a Centaur Carrier, ten platoons each composed of a platoon command squad and six infantry squads, plus an eleventh heavy weapons platoon composed of a platoon command squad, three mortar squads, two anti-tank squads, and four fire support squads. This varies practically based on weapons and available Grenadiers. The Death Korps of Krieg Infantry Platoon's TO & E is: 1 Captain 11 Lieutenants 75 Watchmasters 653 Other ranks 750 Men Total 3 Centaur Carriers 11 Mortars 9 Lascannons 8 Heavy Bolters 8 Heavy Stubbers 5 Autocannons 2 Heavy Flamers 19 Flamers 19 Grenade Launchers 18 Plasma Guns 18 Meltaguns 18 Hellguns 712 Lasguns 32 Laspistols Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulrik_Ironfist Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Fasha, I appreciate the info. As for being soft on my guard? Not a chance, They're all elite stormtroopers(according to my fluff) and specialize in hitting hard and fast, and they don't get bogged down in trenches. As for waking up with a case of heresy, well, My men are well disciplined, and besides, We have procedures, if it's slaneesh, be burn anything they came in contact with (God only knows where it's been...), Khorne, well we burn that too (all those bloodborrne pathogens), Tzeentch? His critters eat his followers for giggles, and his Marines don't sleep, so there are no beds to take. Nurgle, well we burn that too, because nasty. We only take Eldar and Tau beds, because orks sleep on rocks (or something), and the Eldar and Tau well they have comfy beds, not as good as the beds at home but still... Dark Eldar Beds are made of nails and are probably drenched in fluids that are better left unknown... I make sure my guardsmen are well fed and rested (when they can), so that they are fully able to visit the Wrath of Humanity upon it's enemies. you know you're a guardsman when your motto is "Embrace the Suck!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FashaTheDog Posted May 15, 2015 Share Posted May 15, 2015 Stormtroopers are just wannabe Krieg Grenadiers (never you mind which came first), but couldn't be nearly awesome enough as they're too worried about their frilly lace hems getting dirty in the mud or having their Fancy pattern hot-shot lasgun lose the mirror shine they spent all night polishing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pudelhund Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 When you buy all this stuff a week into the hobby and it's probably only like 400 points (minus the Skitarii stuff). http://i.imgur.com/U3Lxa8T.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulrik_Ironfist Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 You might be thinking of someone else's storm trooper regiment, not mine. We keep out Hotshots maintained, but we firmly believe that if you shine you die. Oh sure we have some shiny stuff, but only because the paint has worn off. We spend more time in the field than we do in garrison. After all, there are heretics and traitors that need purging, and Xenos that need killing. We don't have time to polish our Lasguns. I fully intend to dirty up my models, with some mud, and snow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulrik_Ironfist Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 When you buy all this stuff a week into the hobby and it's probably only like 400 points (minus the Skitarii stuff). http://i.imgur.com/U3Lxa8T.jpg Uh, it's a good bit more than 400 points, but that's a nice sizable army you got going there. That's what, 4 Chimeras, 4-5 Leman Russes, 8 boxes of Cadians, 2-3 command squads, 2 heavy weapons squads, 1-2 Hydras? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pudelhund Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 4 Chimeras (2 on order), 6 Leman Russes (3 Demolishers), 8 Cadian Shock Troops, 1 Command Squad, 2 Heavy Weapons Squads, 2 Hydras/Wyverns. Not pictured is a Lord Commissar pack and Valkyrie (left in my vehicle). Waiting for the FW Hostile Environment bits to arrive to start assembling the troops. I might just make a 500 point Skitarii force first if they don't arrive so I don't hold up this Escalation league I joined. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulrik_Ironfist Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Wow, nice haul. You've got a pretty good start. You might just cap it at that for now, until you really get your play style locked in. But as Warriorfish is fond of saying, a Guard Army is never finished. I know that after I get my next 4 Kasrkin, and a second Command squad box, I'm capping my Guard where they are, so I can focus on my Ravenwing, that I want to use for allies. After that, It's back to the Guard, because they are so much fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
librisrouge Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 ...when the enemy winces everytime you say, "Ok, shooting phase." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulrik_Ironfist Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 When you tell your opponent you're playing guard, and he assumes guard platoons and tanks, then cries when you bring stormies and vets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treadhead Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 When you say you're bringing your armoured company and all the opponents evaporate When one troops choice takes as long to set up as their entire army When you've scratchbuilt a stormhammer superheavy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoffeeGrunt Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 When your opponent realise he doesn't actually have enough Bolter shots over a six-turn game to kill all your men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoffeeGrunt Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 ...When you turn up with a 2K list and the guy there only has 1K, so you "trim" it down to this: http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s36/coffeegrunt/WP_20150602_20_35_43_Pro.jpg Then you table his Daemons turn 2 and lose only ten Guardsmen for it. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatOneMarshal Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 When you read band of brothers and then watch the miniseries and now you want to do an air company. When some how your friends guardsman have more zeal than your templars (they were death korps so I guess that isn't a big surprise) and they charge an ork squad. Somehow they win. When in company of heroes your friend scolds you for creating hordes of infantry and then rushing them at your enemy while blasting artillery at your friendlies. Your only response is "To each of us falls a task. And all the Emperor requires of us Guardsmen is that we stand the line, and we die fighting. It is what we do best: we die standing." He asked me who I got that from and I said " a great man who lost quite a few tanks". When the way you play your guard would get you executed in ww2 Soviet Union for "waste of soldiers and unnecessary endargment of soldiers". When you watch Patton and you immediatly want to give a model of Patton but then you relaize that what creeds supposed to be. But then you realize creeds not crazy enough to be Patton. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulrik_Ironfist Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 This: http://bestdemotivationalposters.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Military-Vision-Best-Demotivational-Posters.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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