the outcast dead

[mactire]

Just finished rereading TOD and I have to say its actually a good story. The biggest problem seems to be timeline of events, and I find it hard to understand why they couldnt tell the story and still keep it in line with other books. The parts about the two Thunder Warriors were good as were the physkers and navigators and the bits about the emperor. 

 

I wonder how would people feel about the book if it was rewritten as follows :

 

The original story about Kai and the Argo and his rehabilitation stay the same, then Magnus appears, all hell breaks loose and Kai receives his vision. He then falls into a coma and the usual suspects try to get into his mind but not as violently as in the original story, this buys you some time. Arthrava? also receives a vision but it is clouded and unclear.

                      Then Istavan happens (as in the other novels, after Prospero) and the Crusader host are taken captive. Arthrava allows this to happen as per the original and they are locked up. While in captivity he realises what his previous vision entails (the path becomes clear) and the breakout happens as per original. The rest of the story could continue along as before and I think you would have a good HH novel that would stand up well with the other books of the series and solve the crazy timeline problems that people have with it.

 

 

P.S. I would also have Traogre kill the first Custodian with a weapon of some sort, maybe handed it by the mind controlled guard, rather than bare hands through PA. WE are tough but this was a bit OTT.

 

I would be happy to hear your thoughts on this, if you think it would fix the story, or if you would still hate it.

[MasterofMankind]

Sounds good, but wouldn't Atharva be thrown in jail before any of his other brothers of the Crusader's Host?

[mactire]

Maybe,but the emperors original orders were for Russ to return Magnus to Terra, it was Horus and Valdor that urged the attack. Even so, Atharva could have been taken in, leaving the Crusader Host stunned and when the rest were locked up then Atharva's escape plan was possible. In either case at least the timeline could run true and people might enjoy the book more.

[The Red Thirst]

I like this mactire, a hell of a lot cleaner than what was published.

From memory though i think they tried to explain away the time difference due to "nature of the warp" and that Magnus message ripped through "time and space" and that the astropathic choir tried to contain it (for a few years...right) but was too great and the energy unleashed "after" the heresy had begun... Malchador talks about it a bit more in Wolf Hunt.

Warp powers, the biggest Deus Ex Machina since the Alpha Legion