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The Lost Sons, Relentless and Unstoppable: The Helios Guard

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Brother-Sergeant Valorum

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The Lost Sons, Relentless and Unstoppable
The Helios Guard


Our foes outnumber us. They outgun us, and they outpace us. They hold all advantages. All save one. Endurance. No foe is our equal in this. They can strike, strike, strike again. But their blows we will weather. They will tire, they will fall, and we will cast their broken bodies down from the heights of this world.



Helios Guard Tactical

Battle-brother Elioth of the Second Company


A Chapter whose early records are spotty at best, the Helios Guard have never been fully trusted by the wider Imperium. Their genetic origin remains a mystery, and the earlier years of their existence are the subject of myth and legend. Several Inquisitors have, over the years, taken it upon themselves to delve into the origins of the Chapter. All have come away with nothing. Aside from a few sparse mentions in the records of other Chapters and in the vaults of the Adeptus Terra, there is no proof at all that the Helios Guard existed before the 36th Millennium.

The Helios Guard:
Progenitor: Unknown.
Primarch: Unknown.
Chapter Master: Acanthus Valorum.
Homeworld: None.
Fortress-Monastery: Battle barge Fortis Praefectum.
Founding: Unknown (possibly the Dark 13th Founding).
Colors: Bone, with dark red right arm and black trim.
Specialty: Resilience, alpha strikes, relentless assaults.
Strength: Under strength following losses in the Traxis Campaign (approx. 750).
Battle cry: "We endure!"

History

The records kept by the Adeptus Terra state that the Helios Guard were founded in the middle of the 36th Millenium. However, the records of several other Chapters and a few minor worlds on the outskirts of Segmentum Obscurus mention Marines matching the modern description of the Guard well before this date. This can be interpreted several ways; however, the prevailing (and, likely, correct) theory amongst the informed is that the Adeptus Terra were not informed of the Helios Guard’s creation until well after the fact. If this is true, it could, perhaps, be used to explain the total lack of any Administratum records pertaining to the Chapter before M36.

What records remain from the earliest days of the Helios Guard show that, for the early centuries of their existence, the Helios Guard were a Chapter on permanent Crusade. In those days, Chapter-level campaigns were often launched seemingly without cause; neither the battle-brothers of the Companies nor even the Captains commanding them knew why they were called to the battles they were. Feling distrusted by their own leaders, some brothers grew frustrated. Hopelessness took hold, and a few, including the Fourth Captain of the time, Theren (now known as the Blighted King) turned, in their despair, to Chaos (particularly to Nurgle, the god of plague, hopelessness, and immortality).

The leaders of the Chapter attempted to cover up the insurgency within their ranks. Despite their best efforts, however, fifty battle-brothers (their names inscribed in the Hall of the Lost aboard the Fortis Praefectum) escaped the purge, wreaking havoc throughout the Imperium before escaping into the Maelstrom. In the wake of this, the Inquisition issued an ultimatum to the Chapter; embark upon a penitent crusade into the Maelstrom in pursuit of Theren and his ilk, or be destroyed. With no other choice, Chapter Master Eliouth acceded to the demands of the Inquisition. So began the Rebirth, as the Crusade is called within the Helios Guard.

The Chapter fleet entered the Maelstrom in the thirteenth year of the 38th Millennium. Driven by their hatred and desire to make amends to the people their brothers had wronged, the Chapter pushed through any and all foes they encountered. On the outskirts, it was Ork enclaves and pirate kingdoms. Once inside, however, the foe became great deal more dangerous. Renegades, heretics, and worse prowled the worlds encountered by the fleet. More and more brothers were lost with each encounter. Some spoke of turning back, but the Chapter Master, Eliouth, knew that they had no choice but to continue. His Captains attempted to reason with him, but the Chapter Master would accept nothing less than total victory, or total destruction.

So the fleet pushed on, until, at last, it came to the Nurgle-corrupted world of Almoravid. There, they found that Theren and his forty-nine had made common cause with the daemon legions of the plague god. The Helios Guard, numbering only five hundred, faced an army of daemons in addition own corrupted brethren. Once more, the Captains begged their lord to abandon his the Crusade, or conduct an Exterminatus upon the planet, lest the Chapter be destroyed in its entirety. But driven by his hatred and sheer stubbornness, Eliouth gave the order to make planetfall.

When the battle began, the Helios Guard fought with all their usual grim resolution. Bolters punched and shattered warp-spawn at close range, while mighty Dreadnoughts and trundling vehicles cut swathes through the horde. But it was not enough. Lesser daemons swarmed and butchered Astartes, while their more powerful kin strode amongst the Space Marines, shattering armor, flesh, and bone with ease. The Chapter fought bravely, but they faced daemons in their own realm, and most were overwhelmed. Chapter Master Eliouth, knowing that it was his brethren's only hope, sought out Theren in single combat. The Blighted King and the Chapter Master dueled for an hour, matching blow for blow. But, in the end, Theren’s warp-enhanced power proved too much for Eliouth, and he was cast down and slain.

At the loss of their leader, the remaining two hundred Space Marines began to lose hope. They refused to surrender , as ever, but they knew their chances of survival were slim. This was a crisis they could not endure. But then the tide was turned.

Valodis Llero, Captain of the First Company, cast aside his doubts and strode out amongst his brothers. Through his charisma and inspiring example, Llero rallied the remanants of his Chapter. Their warrior spirits were stoked, and their growing despair gave way to a cold, implacable hate. With his warriors behind him, Llero led a final charge against the forces of Nurgle, and, in desperate single combat, struck down the traitor lord. In this, the Guard were thwarted, however, for There's soul had been taken by the warp and, now a daemon prince of Nurgle, he could not truly be slain. Still, it was enough for the Chapter to claim victory that day.

With Theren’s death (temporary though it was) the daemons lost their hold on reality, discorporating where they stood. The Helios Guard fell back to their ships in good order, and Llero declared the crusade to be at an end. In his final act of command as Captain before his promotion to Chapter Master, Llero raised each of the brothers who had survived the battle to the First Company, creating a two-hundred-man Veteran Company, a tradition that persists to this day.

Following the Rebirth and Llero's subsequent promotion to Chapter Master, the Chapter fleet exited the Maelstrom. But the Helios Guard that left were not those who had entered that hell on crusade. The warriors that emerged were hardened, cold, and harsh, made callous by the war against their brothers. Though they had been known for their resolve before, now the Guard refused to take a single backwards step, no matter the odds. The warriors of the Helios Guard, long noted for their resilience, now took pride only in the pain they could endure. Much of their tenacity was a result of their gene-seed; even before their crusade, they had been noted for their resilience, but the end of the long and spiteful war against foes who were their equal in this regard only exacerbated this trait. Llero stripped away the things which, he believed, had made the Chapter weak, decadent even. Gone were the personal banners of Sergeants, the elaborate and ancient weapons that, while beautiful, served no purpose. Instead, battle-brothers would display only awards earned in battle (marksman's honors, Deathwatch markings, and the like) and markings of rank. The only exception to this rule were relics honoring the Emperor, for Llero believed that "now, more than ever, we must strive to prove ourselves worthy of His light."

Another major change which swept the Chapter was the cessation of the campaigns which had kept the lower-ranked brothers of the Chapter in the dark. Officially, Llero did away with these campaigns in order to rebuild the trust between the Chapter Master and his warriors. However, there are those both within the Chapter and without who speak of the fabled "Tome of the Thirteenth" and its alleged discovery by Llero. These skeptics draw connections between the Tome and the murky origins of the Helios Guard, but whether Llero found the Tome or not (if it does, indeed, exist) he brought and end to what all agree was a foolish and irresponsible practice unbecoming of a Space Marine Chapter.


Modern Times
The Helios Guard have recently emerged from a conflict with the shadowy Reclamation Dominion, an alliance of xenos, traitors, and worse. Though they suffered the brunt of the heavy fighting, losing almost a third of their manpower in the Traxis sector, the Chapter eventually prevailed at the world of Dracoon Primus, where the invasion of a Tyranid splinter fleet distracted the Dominion long enough for Acanthus Valorum to lead a successful attack on the Dominion High Command. Four years after this victory, Abandon the Despoiler began his Thirteenth Black Crusade. Though still weakened by their struggles against the Dominion, the Helios Guard have committed the Fourth and Seventh Companies, under the overall command of Fourth Captain Tuizus Erioth, to the campaign against the forces of Chaos. The rest of the Chapter remains engaged in Segmentum Solar, combating Eldar, Ork, and Necron forces.

Acanthus Valorum

"I've seen Chapter Masters come and go. I knew Thracian well, I did. That one was pure iron; he broke, but he never bent. Hond I knew as well. That one was steel, he was. He could bend, and he could hold, but strong enough, he simply wasn't. But Valorum? Maybe it was the Deathwatch; maybe it was the Chapter; maybe it was Tibur itself. But he's adamantium through and through. Too strong to bow, too strong to break. An immovable object. And I? I'm an unstoppable force. What happens when the two meet?"

-Renegade Space Marine Captain Ilis Morn, on Acanthus Valorum.

The current Chapter Master of the Helios Guard, Acanthus Valorum, is a man whose tally of victories outnumbers that of any of his brothers, past or present, surpassing even the lauded Valodis Llero. He embodies the relentless, implacable fury for which the Helios Guard are known. He goes into battle clad in a suit of ancient artificer armor (said by some to have been a gift to the Chapter from an unknown source) and wields the relic hammer Rilgard and a great storm shield inscribed with praises to the Emperor. Valorum is a master warrior and ruthless tactician, having personally defeated hundreds of enemy champions and orchestrated campaigns across five hundred worlds. His tally of victories stretches for five hundred years, and includes such momentous conflicts as the Rethor’s World Campaign, the siege of Hive Tor, and the Thayan Crusade (in which he planned and executed the destruction of a force of Dark Eldar numbering over ten thousand with a single Battle Company and the Strike Cruiser Ironside). As a Sergeant of the Second Company, he was seconded to the Deathwatch of the Ordo Xenos, and worked his way through the ranks to the position of Watch Captain, a post that he held for ninety years. Returning to his Chapter as First Captain, he ascended to the rank of Chapter Master in the year 843 of the 41st Millennium, and has earned the respect and adulation of his battle-brothers many times over. However, in spite of all his virtues, the enemies of man slain by his hand, and his lengthy roll of honor, there is one ingrained flaw which he has never outgrown: his near-insane stubbornness. His intractable nature has often caused him to remain on the battlefield far longer than his tacticians deem wise, fighting long after all around him have fallen. His implacability was the sole cause of his first and only defeat at the hands of the Eldar of Craftworld Biel-Tan. Valorum swore vengeance, and eventually achieved it, but only at the cost of one hundred and twelve battle-brothers. Some amongst his warriors worry that their lords' bull-headedness will bring about a great disaster in the coming years, but Valorum has, so far, defied any such fears, leading the Helios Guard to great victories time and again.


Helios Guard symbol final


Symbol of the Helios Guard

Homeworld

The Helios Guard lay claim to no homeworld. Instead, they remain fleet based, and maintain a number of recruiting worlds. This variety of recruiting ground allows the Chapter to replenish losses more quickly than most other Chapters, as they have more neophytes from whom to draw.

The primary recruiting world of the Helios Guard is Tibur. A bitter, mountainous world, Tibur lies in Segmentum Obscurus, and is classified as an early stage feudal world. Tibur is home to numerous craters and caves, within which roils all manner of poisonous gas. The Helios Guard often use these caves in their trials, sending recruits to spend a night in the caves, or recover something left in one of them. The lowlands of the planet are hot, arid, and covered in pockets of poisonous gas. In contrast to these, the highlands are high in oxygen and other chemical elements essential to the human body. The cold here is so bitter, however, and the predators so vicious, that any settlers who come to this desolate region are forced to live together in castles or keeps, both for warmth and protection.

The people of Tibur are hardy, martial folk. From birth until death, life is a constant struggle, and only the strong or the useful survive. Many castles and keeps are built above massive mine complexes, where hundreds of peasants work away their lives while their lords duel, compete for the favor of ladies, and hold tournaments. In times of war, the lord of a castle raises his peasants into an army, making use of the hardy bodies and stoic temperaments of the Tiburians to create a disciplined, resolute army in a short amount of time.

Despite the importance of their recruiting worlds, the true heart of the Helios Guard is their fortress-monastery. The battle-barge Fortis Praefectum serves as the Chapter’s home. An ancient craft, dating back to the Horus Heresy or before, the Fortis Praefectum houses the Reclusiam, the Librarius, the Forge, the reliquary, as well as all the other aspects of a standard fortress-monastery. Larger than other battle-barges to accommodate the facilities of a Chapter, the Fortis Praefectum possesses a belligerent and stubborn machine spirit. This “sentience’ refuses to communicate with any but a Techmarine, the Chapter Master, or the Master of the Fleet. Nonetheless, many Chapter legends have sprung up about the spirit of the vessel, and some believe that the Fortis Praefectum may, in fact, recall the ancient, forgotten days of the foundation of the Helios Guard.

Combat Doctrine

Though a Codex Chapter in most respects, the Helios Guard place a particular emphasis upon the resilience of a warrior. While marksmanship and skill with weapons are as highly valued amongst the Helios Guard as within the ranks of other Chapters, a warrior’s true mettle is found in the pain he can endure. For the Helios Guard, whose mysterious gene-seed coupled with intense conditioning makes them even more tenacious than the “average” Astartes, no pain is too great, no hardship is too much, and no obstacle cannot be surmounted through sheer willpower.

Throughout the history of the Helios Guard, this superhuman tenacity has been the deciding factor in innumerable battles. For instance, in the war against the Necron legions of the Tomb World of Isolos, the Helios Guard 2nd Company, despite taking heavy casualties, managed to repulse an attacking force of more than a thousand Necron warrior constructs, first utilizing bolter rounds, and, when ammunition ran dry, closing with the unliving foe and fighting with chainswords, combat knifes, and power-armored fists. Though they were surrounded, outnumbered, and outgunned, not one amongst them gave in to pain or fear. At the end of the battle, not a single one of the remaining Marines remained unwounded, and only thirty of the original one hundred remained, but, through tenacity and unyielding will, the Helios Guard prevailed, with the Second Company adding the Necron skull to their Company Banner to commemorate the momentous victory. Similar victories have occurred on a thousand battlefields, from the Ork contested Rethor’s World, to Nurgle-blighted Toramn. No foe is beyond the tenacity and determination of the Helios Guard, and, even in defeat, the Chapter is known to both inflict and accept horrific casualties, fighting on long after all others would have pulled out. Such a stoicism has led to victories thought impossible, but only at a great loss of life.

Organization
Organized according to the Codex Astartes in nearly all respects, the Helios Guard nonetheless possess their own unique traditions and formations. The most notable of these deviations is the two hundred man strength of the Veteran 1st Company. The reason for this dates back to a time when, during a campaign against Chaos forces on the world of Rellan, the Chapter was reduced to a mere two hundred Marines, under the command of the then First Captain, Valodis Llero. In a gesture of brotherhood, Captain Llero elevated each of those Marines not already of the First into the Veteran Company, a tradition which has persisted since those days. This unique formation has allowed the Helios Guard far more tactical flexibility than the "average" Chapter, as more experienced forces can be devoted to a war zone without fear of losing the entire cadre of Veterans. Additionally, rather than a Chief Librarian, the Helios Guard make use of an Epistolary Council, a group formed from one senior Epistolary from each of the psychic disciplines utilized by the Chapter. Aside from these deviations, the Helios Guard follow the Codex almost to the letter, though the emphasis placed upon perseverance is another notable difference from the strictures laid down in Guilliman’s mighty tome.

Beliefs
"Uphold the teachings of Llero, he who is Leader, Savior, and Father to us all. Purge the weakness from yourself. Root out corruption wherever it is found. Do these things, and you can do no wrong."
-High Chaplain Iliscon

Due to the lack of knowledge as to the identity of their Primarch, the Helios Guard choose to center their devotion upon the Emperor, rather than his sons. To them, the Emperor is the pinnacle of human accomplishment, a shining paragon of all that it is to be human. Every Marine of the Helios Guard strives to bring humanity as a whole closer to achieving the ideal laid down by the Emperor. In spite of this reverence for the Master of Mankind, however, the Chapter does pay homage to another ancient figure: Valodis Llero, the man responsible for turning the Helios Guard into the Chapter they are today.

Legend has it that, as a Scout, Llero slew an Ork warlord with only his fallen Sergeant’s chainsword, and that, as a Sergeant himself, he led an attack which broke the back of the Dark Eldar forces of the Kabal of the Poisoned Thorn at the Garron moon. However, his most notable achievements came at the Battle of Almoravid, in the year 13 of the 38th Millennium. Always noted for his tenacity, Llero truly showcased the potential of his fighting style during the terrible campaign in the Maelstrom. Following that great victory, Llero became the Chapter Master and implemented the training methods and doctrines which are followed to this day by the Helios Guard. In some circles, Llero is seen as the pseudo-primarch of the Helios Guard, and is held in the utmost respect by the members of the Chapter. His unique way of waging war is still the standard to which the Marines of the Helios Guard are held.

The Chapter retains some flaws, however. Deeply suspicious of outsiders (partly due to their treatment by the Inquisition) the Helios Guard often reject new ideas and innovations. Those they do adopt are regarded with wariness at best and resentment at worst. The sins of the past weigh heavily upon them; they retain their bitter hatred for their traitor brethren, and hunt them wherever and whenever possible. They are also disconnected from the common man; their own bitterness and unwillingness to express emotions leads humans they meet to fear them as irrevocably disconnected from their own experience. The brothers are often downright morbid, and several times in the Chapter's history, this unhealthy aspect of their culture has led to criticism from other Astartes. By and large, however, the Helios Guard know and accept their flaws. They know they can never be Ultramarines, champions of the people, examples of the Astartes. Instead, they strive to be a necessary evil; the warriors the Imperium and its people need, feared by those they defend but haunting the nightmares of the Emperor's foes.


Gene-seed
“Yes, it is true that my father remains unknown to me. Never have I denied that fact, and, in my weaker moments, I have pondered the question of my identity late into the night. But to you, I say this: your proud, ancient legacy is known to you, and can be traced to he who penned the Codex, the holy writ by which we live. My line knows no such certainty, and yet, still I serve the Emperor, with every fiber of my being. In its own way, is that not as noble as your own genetic line? For, while you, faithful though you may be, have certainty, I have nothing but my faith, which I hold to, despite the mistrust levied against me. Where you act out of certainty, I act out of faith, and faith alone. Can you not see the nobility in that?”
-Chapter Master Acanthus Valorum.

Though the Helios Guard do not know the truth as to the origins of their gene-seed, their genetic legacy is as important to them as any Chapter. Their gene-seed, like that of all Space marines, serves as a reminder of their link to the Emperor, whom they revere as the greatest of men. Despite lack of any consistent genetic traits pointing towards a particular First Founding Chapter, certain traits have emerged in the gene-seed of the Helios Guard. Most of the Marines develop chiseled, almost gaunt, facial features once their gene-seed is implanted. Their eyes generally darken and seem to be hidden in shadow, and the Marines become much more resilient than Astartes from other Chapters. Though both the Adeptus Mechanicus and the Inquisition, two factions which remain suspicious of the Helios Guard, conduct regular tests upon the gene-seed of the Chapter, their gene-seed has held its purity in the face of the most stringent of trials. Mutations, though rare, are not entirely unheard of, and the Chapter is eternally vigilant for anything that might taint them further in the eyes of the Imperium.

There are many theories as to which Chapter the Helios Guard can trace their descent from. Some argue Imperia Fists or Iron Hands, arguments based primarily upon combat tactics and the Chapter Cult. But, though similar to these illustrious brotherhoods in many respects, the Helios Guard are distinct from both in their physical traits and outlook on their duty. The Ultramarines have been suggested, but this is an argument based solely upon the prevalence of Ultramarines gene-seed throughout the Imperium. Even the Raven Guard have been put forward as a possible progenitor, but the sons of Corax have never acknowledged the Helios Guard as one of their own. Both Chapters in question have completely opposing combat doctrines, and even the gene-seed of the Helios Guard points away from the warriors of Deliverance, for they do not suffer from the same mutations as the Raven Guard. There are even whispers of dark truths held within the fabled Tome of the Thirteenth, but for all intents and purposes, the Helios Guard are classified as having no known progenitor Chapter, falling into the class of Astartes most distrusted by the wider Imperium.


Battle Cry:

"We endure!"

Important Characters:

Chapter Master Acanthus Valorum

Dreadnought-Reclusiarch Thawn Gerodus

First Captain Varth Arren, Lord of the Two Hundred

Second Captain Vos Cvriac, The Avenger

Third Captain Huel Daros, Master of Endurance

Fourth Captain Tuizus Erioth, Master of Vigilance

Fifth Captain Merek Andrel, Master of Crusades

Sixth Captain Yaren Devitan, Master of Penance

Seventh Captain Horic Olias, Master of Relics

Eight Captain Gregor Seric, Master of Strength

Ninth Captain Toras Korvydon, Master of Annihilation

Tenth Captain Nero Fredal, Master of Silence

Chief Apothecary Samos Arth

Forged Master Anak Krayt


Keep in mind, this is still a work in progress, and I would appreciate any suggestions or criticisms you guys have. Thanks!

Edited by Brother-Sergeant Valorum, 20 September 2016 - 01:30 PM.

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Conn Eremon

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Nice beginning, the Helios Guard seem very interesting. A recommendation, though: I think it'd look nicer if it was flush left or justified rather than centered.

 


Believed to have been founded between M35 and M36, the time of the Dark 13th Founding, the origins of the Helios Guard remain shrouded in mystery. Nonetheless, in the more than five millennia since their inception, the Helios Guard have compiled a list of battle honors that stands proudly beside those of other, more established, Chapters. Despite this, there are those, mostly amongst the Ordos Malleus and Hereticus of the Inquisition, who whisper that the Chapter’s apparent honor and devotion to the Emperor is a facade, intended to disguise the truth of their hidden origins.

 

To be fair, there’s at least twelve other Foundings that fall into that time range. Why is it believed to be the 13th? The fact that they are of unknown origin? Why are they? Does it serve a real purpose to the Chapter? If it’s intent is to add an air of mystery, you have an uphill battle for you. Using it for that purpose tends to fall flat in the presentation of it. This doesn’t mean don’t use it, but it tends to come across better when it’s used to provide something more than that and this is what I am suggesting. Having read the thread, I have a guess it’s because they’re meant to be inferred as Iron Warriors. But why? You compare them to Imperial Fists as being complementary and of like mind, so why not just be an Imperial Fists Successor? Like having an unknown origin, using Traitor Legion gene-seed for the purpose of using Traitor Legion gene-seed tends to fall flat. If it provides something more . . .

 

 

Additionally, you use the term ‘tenacity’ quite a bit. It’s not that it’s a bad word, but it gets repetitive. Toss that word into a google search bar alongside thesaurus and you’ll find some good alternatives that will help alleviate that repetition.


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#3
Lucernius

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Fairly new to these boards, so will not comment to much. What Conn said is really good input. But wanted to respond as i like many things of what read, a nice start.

 

My imagination takes their mysterious gene-seed to be Death-Guards, but thats just me probably biggrin.png

 

Edit: Ooh yeah wanted to add LOVE the chapter name! A Really good one!


Edited by Lucernius, 25 February 2015 - 11:42 AM.

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Brother-Sergeant Valorum

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@Conn Eremon: Thanks, your feedback was really helpful. Although the thought of Iron Warriors gene-seed had never crossed my mind, looking it over, I can see why you would think that. Additionally, I kind of understood your ideas for making the subject of their descent something more than an afterthought, I would really appreciate it if you could be a little more specific, since I can't really think of what it is that you really mean. I've revised the article, and if you could look it over now and tell me what you think, that would be awesome.

@Lucernius: Thanks for the comment, I appreciate it a lot. As for the name, this is the fourth name that I used for this Chapter. The others are all knight themed, but I decided that this one has a nicer ring to it. I'm glad someone shares my view!

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#5
Urauloth

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I have a guess it’s because they’re meant to be inferred as Iron Warriors.

 

Really? I got a pretty strong Death Guard vibe out of that.

 

Anyway, I really like the name, and you've definitely got a good start there.


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#6
Olis

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First of all, I would like to discuss their unknown origins. If the records of their creation are indeed still in chapter hands, then surely they would have similar evidence on their founding. Of course, perhaps the chapter is deliberately trying to hide these details. But then, we would have to explore why that is. The speculation of the chapter belonging to the 13th founding is an interesting direction - one that should be followed further if it is going to be something of worth to the article. Why are they thought to be of the thirteenth founding, rather than any other specific founding? If they are indeed of the 13th, then there should be something untoward in regards to their gene-seed, I think, as per the usual for a cursed founding chapter. Or, at least, something else wrong with the chapter that is somewhat unique to them and them alone. 

 

Secondly, Theren and the chapter. I think once the news that Theren was of the Helios Guard (or that he had turned) got out then that would be high time for the chapter to go on a penitence crusade. Nothing quite says "We're sorry" to the inquisition than a good old penitence crusade. ^_^

 

Third. Name drops. You mention the Death Guard quite a few times and various other official chapters/legions here and there. It's better that you don't name drop, as it lends false credibility to an article. The article should be able to stand on it's own legs without the mention of Ultramarines, Word Bearers, etc, etc. Excising these references and forcibly rewriting sections will, I think, produce a stronger DIY chapter.

 

After all, this article should be about the character of your chapter. With that in mind, I'd like to suggest paring back the sections detailing battles - although these may seem important to you now, these parts make for dry reading and cannot impart information as well as other methods of writing.

 

This is not to say you're IA is bad - it is very promising. It just needs some polishing, is all. ;)


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#7
Brother-Sergeant Valorum

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Thanks, that's really helpful! I'll think about what you said, and try to work it in.

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#8
Brother-Sergeant Valorum

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Well, the edits have been made, and your advice has resulted in a (I hope), superior IA. Again, feel free to leave any suggestions you might have!


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#9
Lucernius

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The Lost Sons, Relentless and Unstoppable
The Helios Guard

 

Burden of the Chapter Masters
Within the Fortis Praefectum, there is a single room, within which lies a simple chest. At first glance, the room appears to be nothing more than a forgotten store room, but it is much more than that. Within the chest in the center of the room, an ancient tome, bound in leather and inscribed with hundreds of litanies in a hundred myriad languages. Only the Chapter Master of the Helios Guard is aware of the room’s existence, and he keeps it a closely guarded secret. For each and every man to have ever led the Helios Guard has believed that, within the venerable text, lies the answer to the mystery of the origins of the Helios Guard. Though the temptation to open it is great, no Chapter Master has yet done so, for it is rumored that the truth of their heritage is so dark that, were it to be known by even one individual, the Helios Guard would be forever damned by the Imperium they have so long sought to protect. Thus, for uncounted millennia, the book has remained unopened, awaiting the day that its horrifying truths are revealed at last.
 

Love the idea of the book, a revered relic for the chapter master a burden on his shoulders.

 

 

 

 

The Lost Sons, Relentless and Unstoppable
The Helios Guard


Valodis Llero
Although the Helios Guard, being a Chapter of Space Marines, almost certainly fought in hundreds of battles between their foundation and their defense of the world of Rellan, few, if any, have had such a lasting impact upon the Chapter. Responding to a distress call from the hive world of Rellan, the entirety of the Helios Guard descended upon the embattled planet in the year 435 of the 38th Millennium. Attempting to utilize standard Codex combat doctrine, the Helios Guard fought for three days and three nights against an overwhelming horde of plague zombies, Nurgleite daemons, and Plague Marines. However, on the fourth day, in an overwhelming attack led by the Daemon Prince, Kalthron the Poxed One, most of the Chapter, including the Chapter Master, Chief Librarian, and Reclusiarch, were slain. Bereft of almost all of their most senior officers, the remaining two hundred of the Chapter turned to First Captain Valodis Llero for guidance. In a gesture of brotherhood, Llero promoted each surviving battle-brother into his First Company, cementing their loyalty to him in the process. The First Captain completely changed the manner in which the Chapter fought, and introduced new trials that made use of their greatest strength: tenacity. After a retraining process of several months, Llero returned to the surface of Rellan, and, leading the assault himself, descended upon the planetary capital. The Helios Guard, now more resilient than ever, stoically and relentlessly forged onwards through firepower that would have slain even other Space Marines, driving all before them, with Llero himself dealing dealing the final blow to the Poxed One, breaking the power of his forces on Rellan. In the aftermath of the battle, Llero was gifted the Shield Eternal by the High Lords of Terra, and the Chapter’s new way of waging war became the standard to which the Helios Guard hold themselves to this day.

Later History
In the years since Rellan, the Helios Guard have become an ever more dangerous threat to the enemies of mankind. Though the truth of their origins has not yet been discovered, in recent years several Inquisitors have conducted investigations of the Chapter’s history, determined to find whatever truths can be gleaned from the records of the Imperium. So far, these searches have come to naught, but, should one of the Inquisitors discover something truly damning, it would surely spell the end of the Helios Guard as an Imperial body. Despite the outright suspicion of the Inquisition.

 

 

So to these part of the text:

 

If you have engaged in a war even with severe loss on manpower not many chapters retreat from the battlefield, leave it for several months to train the survivors or even brothers to become better, Space Marine train when they are neophytes, test, push them selves further and train vigorously hours at a end in transit between operations and then fight war to become even better than they have been to the point other in the chapter regards them as veterans. Victors on fields of battle were other has fallen and they alone stood as survivors.

 

To withdraw for months most probably is going to be percived as a most dishonorable thing a stain on the chapter name. Just look in cases where chapters have been almost destroyed. Ultramarines against Tyranids in their own realm, Lamenters, Crimson Fists on Rynn's World and so on many are the examples.

 

Either the new commander is inspiring enough or the rest has bonded far and beyond normal becouse of the intense fighting and that way fight for eachother to the point the improbable. And as he vox that everyone. 'I am proud to lead you all brothers! None i would have had by my side as we cull our foes! I am proud to call you all veterans of Helios Guard, fight, fight for the chapter! fight for your brothers! Fight for me! AND REJOYCE!'. Well thats one way to put it, really good leadership can push marines to win wars.

 

But withdrawing is proably a no no. Well it could also be a reason why the inquisition got their eyes on the Helios Guard. Wavering infront of the enempy of mankind.

 

 

Second, why are the Inquisiton suspicious? That you explain, but now becouse of what reason. If the inquisition or even the mechanicus should hunt every chapter that deviate a bit they would have litterary 1000's of cases against space marines only, that barring the millions of psyckers, millions of cults they are hunting inbetween. If you chapter has done something to warrant a closer inspection write that.

 

As it is now you start your line with that they are hunted becouse of Gene-Seed. As i said taking punishment might or might not be regarded as something to get burned as an heretic for. But bone protucions or spontainious combustion might (other dark foundings).

 

You could use your schism with the Helios Guards turning plague marines as something that lead the inquisition on your trail tho. That sounds more plausible with what you have writen, or write in something else other than the gene-seed as the Dark Founding is a source of genes maybe even the creators got no clues of what they where. Or if some dark purpose was used to create new marines it is in itself a "hidden" dark secret only known to those creating the Helios. (or maybe that has leaked to the inquisition?) smile.png

 

 

Other than these two points! Love the read! really nice! Well done brother.


Edited by Lucernius, 01 March 2015 - 12:28 PM.

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#10
Brother-Sergeant Valorum

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Thank you to everyone for the great feedback! I've made more edits, and I hope that the IA is to your satisfaction!

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#11
Lysimachus

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Some nice work here. I particularly like the quote on the gene seed section.

Few thoughts:

It seems odd that the Chapter is still involved in searching out their history, when that history has clearly been uncovered at some point in the past, as the CM has it in the book, but doesn't actually want his men to know about it?


It might make more sense to have them start off (or at least early in their history) really interested in finding out who they are/where they came from. Then have the CM who changes everything, new tactics, tells them it doesn't matter where they came from, only what they do now.

Then you could hint in the IA that the reason he forced this change on the Chapter was that he uncovered something terrible, something that would besmirch their good name forever, and had to hide it. He wrote it down in a book (because the truth had to be remembered, even if it was awful) and gave it to his successor, making it the responsibility of each CM to know the truth and make sure the Chapter never fell to Chaos like their progenitors.

I do like the idea that gradually the following CMs didn't actually read the book, just knew it was there, but by their ignorance allowed the opening for the traitor Company to be turned to serve Nurgle. More Grimdark!
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#12
Brother-Sergeant Valorum

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More edits made, more advice taken. A never-ending cycle! msn-wink.gif


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#13
Brother-Sergeant Valorum

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A few more minor edits made, mostly to the beliefs, battle-cry, and Valodis Llero sections.


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#14
Sugarlessllama

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I really like what you got going on here. It is very clear that you put a lot of thought and work into developing this chapter. Keep it up. :)


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#15
Delta E.T

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Looks solid, an enjoyable read.

I'm still wondering exactly how your space marines are tougher than the 'average'. You seem to imply geneseed (possibly of death guard origin), but most of the time in your lore it appears mostly to be a strong mental determination to keep fighting. I'd probably decide on one or the other. You could say perhaps clarify on a particular organ, for example the ossmodula, or the larraman's organ?

The rest looked pretty good to me msn-wink.gif


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#16
Brother-Sergeant Valorum

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I really like what you got going on here. It is very clear that you put a lot of thought and work into developing this chapter. Keep it up. smile.png

 


Thanks, I really appreciate it! This Chapter has been in the works for a long time, since the release of the 6th edition codex. I saw Iron Hands chapter tactics, and I was hooked! smile.png


Edited by Brother-Sergeant Valorum, 08 March 2015 - 04:33 AM.

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#17
Brother-Sergeant Valorum

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Again, thanks for the compliments, I really appreciate it! As for their toughness, I was thinking it would be a combination of gene-seed and mental toughness, but your advice might just be worth heeding. I think I'll sleep on it.


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#18
Brother-Sergeant Valorum

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A few more edits, particularly in the origins, later history, and homeworld sections.


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#19
Delta E.T

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Wow, somehow you got me to read this again. It's very solid and concise, and the final touch ups/polishing have definitely not been in vain. In many ways it seems better than some official lore. I cannot recommend or suggest anymore, it basically oozes with flavor. 10/10 ohmy.png

Is there much more that you are going to add, or are you keen to submit it to the Tabula?


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#20
Bjorn Firewalker

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Well done, so far.


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Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)
Sisters of Battle+ Fenrisian Beer- Inhibitions- Sanity= Trouble! (Order of the Blazing Heart Rocket Punch Pimp Magnet She-Wolf)

 

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

 

Reasons to use the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think the Librarian Dreadnought needs Furious Charge AND It Will Not Die to beat down a Chaos-worshiping punk and his Defiler, while a Stormraven needs a Vanquisher cannon to beat down this punk's Heldrake.


#21
Brother-Sergeant Valorum

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Wow, somehow you got me to read this again. It's very solid and concise, and the final touch ups/polishing have definitely not been in vain. In many ways it seems better than some official lore. I cannot recommend or suggest anymore, it basically oozes with flavor. 10/10 :o
Is there much more that you are going to add, or are you keen to submit it to the Tabula?

Thanks a lot, I really do appreciate the compliments! I'm thinking I'll polish it a bit more, add or remove a little here and there, and submit it to the Tabula afterwards. I'm a little unclear as to the Tabula requirements, especially for length, so I'm going to look over a few example articles before I decide.

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#22
Lucernius

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I really love the article mate! It has gone from good to really great! Nice work piecing it together! Loved to read it again.


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#23
Brother-Sergeant Valorum

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I really love the article mate! It has gone from good to really great! Nice work piecing it together! Loved to read it again.

Well, thank you very much, sir!

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#24
Brother-Sergeant Valorum

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Well, the Helios Guard are officially on the Tabula! Thanks to everyone who helped me make it happen!

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#25
Delta E.T

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Congrats!


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