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IA: The Emperor's Tears


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Index Astartes: Emperor’s Tears

 

Remembrance of the Lost. Revenge for the Fallen. Honor for Sanguinius. Death to the Xenos

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Origins

F
ormed during the 7th founding under the name "The Emperor's Wrath".  These Marines were part of a six chapter crusade force sent out against the Dark Eldar in the Segmentum Obscurus.  Chapter Master of the Emperor’s Wrath Acan Zephyr was given primacy of tactical decisions for the crusade. After two decades of consistent engagements the Crusade leaders from all the chapters were looking to strike a decisive blow.  During a combined large scale fleet engagement, the Dark Eldar attempted to escape into the Webway. After the chapter masters consulted, they decided that all but one chapter would pursue the Dark Eldar into the Webway.  The Crusade fleet was never heard from again. 
 
After 100 Years of no contact from any of the chapters the Bell of Lost souls on Terra was rung 6000 times for the lost crusade, the greatest single loss to the Imperium since the Heresy.
 
After a thousand years a remnant fleet made solely of the survivors from the Emperor’s Wrath chapter reemerged in Imperial space, and encountered a Dark Eldar fleet attempting to travel through the webway opening the chapter just exited. They immediately engaged the Dark Eldar Raiders and dispatched the force in normal space. Upon the completion of their battle they sent an immediate transmission to Terra.  Because their name had been removed from official administratum records and their number re-assigned they received a very short but substantial message from Terra.  Move to the Utlima Segmentum and await the High Inquisitor.   
 
Upon arriving in the Ultima Segmentum they were immediately met by a combined fleet of Ultramarines, White Consuls and Son’s of Orar. The brothers of the Emperor's Wrath  were held and secured until the High Inquisitor arrived. Current chapter Master Alexander Gabriele met with the Inquisitor and the Chapter Masters of the Ultra Marines, Sons of Orar and White Consuls. There he and his Sanguinary Guard recited the long trials and honors of their time gone, and gave great honor to the fighting spirit and legacy of the other chapters lost during the crusade. The brothers of the Emperor’s Wrath were disarmed and taken to Terra.  
 
On Terra they went through extensive testing, questioning and documenting of the operations within the Web that lasted over a decade.  Finally Cleared of any taint aside from the normal deficiencies with in their progenitor’s geneseed.  The brothers were cleared for re-commissioning.  However since almost all records of their existence had been sealed and their chapter number and name had been re-assigned, the brothers were lift as nameless warriors.  The brothers of the Chapter discussed the issue with great intensity from Chapter Master to newest brother, all were given an equal say in the matter.  It was decided to  make a request of the of the High Lords to allow them to rename their chapter to The Emperor’s Tears to symbolize the great loss of their fellow battle brothers even if official records would never show it and issue them the chapter number that was the combined total of the chapter numbers of their 5 lost brethren crusade chapters as well as have their founding listed as Unknown in official records.  The High Lords and Administratum agreed and thus was born The Emperor’s Tears.

 

 

Homeworld

 

Battlefield Doctrine

 

Chapter Organization

 

Chapter Beliefs

 

Gene-Seed

T
he gene seed of the Emperor’s Wrath was mostly pure. There was no genetic modification to the gene seeds, and thus they carried the standard flaws of the Blood Angels gene seed.
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Nice start, my only query would be regarding the 5000 years in the webway, doesn't time pass (pretty much) normally there? Unlike the warp where you could go into it one day, come out the next and find that 50 years have passed.

 

Lots of potential to expand though, if you're looking to write a full IA the above certainly covers the Origins, but how about who they are now? How are they organised, where have they based themselves, how have their experiences affected their beliefs, how are affected by the Blood Angels curse?

 

Scheme is nice too, reminiscent of a BA Sgt pad, dunno if that's deliberate but nice anyway!

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Additional Information and Background:

 

Battle Cry: Remembrance of the Lost

                         Revenge for the Fallen

                         Honor for Sanguinus

                         Death to the Xenos

 

*****PARTIAL DATA RECORDS OF INQUISITOR***FILE CORRUPT***** SUMMARY OF DEBRIEFING TO FOLLOW**********************************************************************************************************************

 

The remaining brothers of the Emperors Tears recited the many horrors they experience in the Webway, Xenos, Chaos, Dark Eldar, Unknown and uncategorized alien races and the Necron.  They noted that the most densely populated concentrations of the Webway also seemed to be the most fluid and unstable.  It is in these regions of the Webway the crusade force Librarians were able to realize that time either did not pass or past so slowly it would be almost beyond recognition.

 

The Lost crusade quickly realized they were trapped and the gamble taken by Zephyr may have sealed their doom.  What they also realized was that in order to survive and successfully bring the wrath of the Empire to the Webway, they must adapt their tactics.  The crusade divided into strike forces and raiding parties, learning from their hated enemies the Dark elder, they became masters of quick strikes. They also spent what seemed to them like centuries mapping routes to the best of their ability. Knowing the Dark Eldars constant desire for human suffering and slaves, the crusade sought out Dark Eldar forces and would reclaim from them any humans that would be of use as servitors, drones or new initiates.  This is how they would replace their losses by stealing the Dark Eldars slaves. The tech priests had to forgo their normally secretive knowledge and began training all of their brothers on how to maintain the equipment of the chapter, to include the individual armors. 

 

Even with this practice in place the chapters of the crusade had to learn how to scavenge and modify alien technology. This bordered on heresy itself but it was necessary for their survival and to continue to bring the fight to the Dark Eldar. The chapters learned how to use all manner of xenos weaponry and also did their best to prey upon any chaos marine forces they came upon.  They would take their vehicles and armor and the tech priest, chaplains and librarians would spend great periods of time purifying the machine spirits of this equipment for re-use by the crusade.

 

For what seemed like only a few hundred years the crusade managed successfully harass the denizens of the Webway while always trying to find a way out.  It was only a few years before the Emperors Tears, then the Emperors Wrath, successful escaped, that the crusade stumbled upon the hedonistic world size city of Commorragh. Still in command at this point; because of his successful, although highly unorthodox strategies to stay alive and fighting, Zephyr saw this as an opportunity to strike a final decisive blow.  He ordered a full assault on the Dark city. For two decades even with the distorted lapse of time, the Marines of the crusade killed millions of Xenos, Dark Eldar and Chaos through the streets and catacombs but their own losses were near catastrophic.  In the final battle of the campaign Zephyr turned to his most trusted officer Alexander and ordered him to take the remaining brothers of The Emperors Wrath and retreat. Not in dishonor but to continue to strike against the darkness until they could escape the web and apprise the Empire of what truly lies beyond the Web.  The other five chapters had suffered losses beyond the hope of rebuilding especially in the Webway. Those remaining brothers of the five crusade chapters along with Zephyr and his honor guard made one last valiant assault to allow the remaining brothers of The Emperors Wrath to escape.

 

Again faced with the very fight to survive Alexander decided to reorganize the remaining 400 brothers into 4 companies capable of being completely autonomous in battle and each outfitted with and equal numbers of the remaining unit types, vehicles and equipment.  It was only a few years later the chapter benefited from a brilliant stroke of luck. The fleet encountered a Dark Eldar raid as they opened a doorway to real space.  Alexander ordered his ships to full speed and exploited the portal.

 

Combat doctrine: Because they currently only have 400 Brothers and only recently been allowed to rebuild their forces, the Emperors Tears rely on devastating rapid assaults.  They are very careful when they enter into battle and it is normally only after they have harassed and probed an enemy at great length for  their strengths and weaknesses. They prefer to avoid pitched battles and will only fully commit to prolonged combat once they have manipulated the battle-space to their will and are confident of their victory.

 

Red thirst and the Black Rage: The Librarians, chaplains and sanguinary priests quickly discovered during their time in the Webway that none of the brothers gave into the curse of Sanguinus. It was hypothesized that there was something within the web that protected them from the curse but they were never able to figure out what.  It has only been since their return that the Emperors Tears have had to make adjustments in the organizational structure and operations to deal with the return of the curse of Sanguinus. Because of their low numbers the Emperors tears have been focusing on replenishing the equipment and recruiting/training to return to full strength.

 

Fleet Base: The Emperors Tears remain a fleet based Chapter and when not focusing on their rebuilding efforts they patrol the areas of the Imperium that are regularly raided by the Dark Eldar, always with the desire to purge the Imperium of their taint.  From their time on Cammorragh they are one of the few non xenos/Dark Eldar races that know just how vast in numbers the enemies of man are in the Web. While they informed the Aministratum and Inquisition of this, they have been ordered to silence and all official records on this matter have been sealed.

 

While they do see themselves and Sons of Sanquinus they have not answered to call to defend Baal.  They believe at this moment they owe a higher loyalty to the memory of the fallen brothers of all 6 chapters from the Lost Crusade to continue their endless efforts against the Dark Eldar.  They know many other Chapters have answered the request and they will only do so if the situation appears to be nearly insurmountable. 

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This is excellent work. It matches the setting, reveals good research, and its manages to be engrossing without ever going over the top (in my view anyway). The name change works quite well, and the story is engaging. 

 

There was a quick mention of tech priests. Do you intend to add a stronger AdMec contingent to the fleet that went into the webway or was this only intended to cover battle losses?

 

I like the idea that at least someone has good knowledge on the Webway. Perhaps a new branch of the Ordo Xenos will be created to investigate, by drawing kill-team leaders from the Emperor's Tears? (Your story, your direction obviously)

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This is very much a work in progress, I want this to be more of a highbreed between an IA and a Codex so the intent is for this to be a living story....but to answer a few of your intentions of where I want to go with this:

 

Yes they have a stronger than normal connection to the AD Mech for a successor of Sanguinus.  There was an AD Mech contingent to the crusade fleet and one of the things I want to get into is Zephyr had a contingent of advisors from the Inquisition and the AD Mech and it was under their advice and influence he gave the order to enter the web way. So I will be developing that line more but I need to do my homework on both the AD Mech and Inquisition for that. 

 

I was also going to have the chapter be heavily under the observation and Influence of the Ordo Xenos (one may say controlled...in exchange for certain benefits .....hmmmm)  wich would align with their now zealot like Obsession with The Dark Eldar.  This will tie in with how the chapter will re-build so rappidly including equipment, vessels and geneseed/candidates. Eventually leading them into the web from time to time.....a possible story arc.

 

One of the chapters desperate desires is to capture several Dark Eldar Navigators and force the knowledge of navigating the Web out of them.  Their goal to eventually launch a second crusade into the Web to end Commorragh for good.  (Very long term goal that would require a wealth of support from the AD Mech and Inquisition.) For now they focus on areas of the Segmentum Tempestus and the Calixis Sector of the Segmentum Obscurus.

 

VERY open to suggestions and story archs.

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******Unofficial Recording Playing*******

 

 

On the 1542nd day of their return from the web, Alexander Gabriele and his first company commander Kieran Allister sat through their daily routine of spending several hours being  questioned by a panel of members from the Ordo Xenos, the Ordo Machinum and the Ordo Chronus .  This day however would change the path they chapter would follow till its end.  Nameless now the remaining brothers were eager to return to the fray.  While under constant observation and evaluation they were allowed to continue to drill in their Martial practices and discuss doctrine and tacticum from Imperial engagements that spanned the five Millennia they spent battling in the Web.

 

Alexander and Kieran stood to leave the hall of inquiry upon which they had just be debriefed on a subject they had recited the same answer to at nauseum some two hundred times previously.  As they walked down the long dark and seemingly endless halls of the Inquisitorium a lone servitor approached.

 

………………squelch…..squelch……..bzzzzzzzzz…….. My Lords (in an almost robotic tone) , my masters seek your immediate presence……bzzzzzz…..squelch……squelch……….follow me……………………………………………..

 

The two Marines turned curiously and followed the servitor down many halls and then through a narrow and almost hidden path to a spiral staircase that seemed endless.  After walking for some time the stairs led to a level with a large doorway that had numerous inscriptions in Old High Gothic, a dialect almost completely forgotten outside of the Inquisition.  In the room stood three Inquisitors and what appeared to be a Fabricator General.

 

**Welcome to the conclave of Magi Marines, I am Inquisitor Morin of the Ordo Xenos, before you are my comrades Inquisitor Dadelin of the Ordo Machinum, Inquisitor Verax of the Ordo Chronus and Fabricator General Nellous of the Carpathian Forgeworld. **

 

**(Alexander replies) Why have you summoned us into these catacombs like some kind of condemned criminals.**

 

**Ahh …but you are no such thing, are you Lord Gabreile… what you are is uniquely qualified to support objectives we share in common….remarked Verax**

 

**Captain Allister spoke up quickly in response….And what would these shared goals be?**

 

**Nellous gave a quick retort…Why entrance into the Webway, destruction of the Dark Eldar Xenos threat and the ability to catalog or even use the vast array of technology and weapons at our enemies disposal…**

 

**Lord Gabriele (Spoke Morin) you and your Marines have ventured farther and seen more of the true Xenos threat within the web than any others known in Imperial records, both opened and sealed. You learned to adapt, survive and even use the Xenos threats abilities and weapons against them.  The sheer number of Xenos equipment, items and recovered relics you provided to the Inquisition as proof upon your return from the web was larger than any other taken in the last two millennia.  But all of those items have been sealed off in vaults never to be seen again, or marked for wholesale destruction. The simple amount of lost knowledge and insight into exploitable means of destroying our enemies is unfathomable. Many among our respective orders believe this conversation alone would merit heresey…**

 

**But not you… snipped Alexander….**

 

**No Lord Gabriele (said Dadelin)….not us.**

 

**Morin continued… Even within the Imperium and Mechanicus there are philosophical differences on how to handle our enemies and what measure should and should not be used. We four stand as representatives within our respective organizations of a conclave of like-minded loyalist who believe we must not serve manuals, STC’s, edicts and codexes blindly and verbatim….We must use them as guiding principles but be prepared to adapt when it is needed, and with our Imperium surrounded by threats on all fronts….it is needed…**

 

**Allister spoke again….What would you have of us then, surely the resources you and your Conclave can muster is far beyond that of what one nearly crippled nameless chapter of Marines can put forth….**

 

**But you have missed the point Captain Allister…..we want you to become one of our resources.  The deathwatch is to heavily observed by all factions of the Ordo Xenos and the AD Mech cannot simply act on their own without potentially being labeled hereticus…. But with you and your brothers we could weild a mighty sword capable of meeting all our shared objectives and one day rid the Imperium of the Dark Eldar scourge and any other denizens of the Web, freeing it up for the use of the Empire and greater service of man.**

 

**Alexander paused and stared at Allister for a moment….then he spoke… What you speak of could be seen as heresy by many others in the Imperium including other Marines….. this would be of great risk to us all and require total secrecy…. But if we were interested, how would we go about this?**

 

For several hours the representatives of the conclave and the Brothers discussed the details, how the continued questioning by the inquisition as a whole must run its normal course without sway or influence as not to make the chapter appear to be receiving any favor; how secret stores of additional geneseed of Sanguinus would be transferred to them once they left Terra and where they would draw mass candidates for recruiting and rebuilding their force.  How the Conclave already had over a thousand potential candidates for them, taken from penal worlds awaiting evaluation and implementation of the geneseed process; even how they would exceed normal chapter size without any knowledge to the rest of the Imperium.  The creation of four separate crusade forces each equaling their current numbers and organized in a similar manner, spread throughout a couple Segmentums. Three of the battle groups would act in offensive roles and the fourth would stay a mobile training and recruiting forces to ensure this new asset was never in jeopardy of demise again. Alexander would command the First fleet and be overall force commander just as he is now.  He would choose three praetorians who answered on to him, to lead the other fleets. Never would more than two fleets converge on one location no matter how dire the situation.  The fourth fleet would rarely if ever engage in direct conflict for their responsibility would be to maintain the lifeblood of the Chapter as a whole.

 

How the Carpathian Forgeworld would provide them with all the new Fleet vessels, vehicles, equipment, artifice armors, terminator suits and other specialty/experimental equipment they have been secretly stockpiling for some time.  They would be granted access to Inquisitorial records on certain Xenos threats; specialized combat training, and an imbedded Tech priests and Inquisitorial advisors.  Gabriele was hesitant to agree to this, but made his position on the Techpriest and Inquisitorial advisors clear, only to advise and if they ever over stepped their position they would be removed.  Gabriel also insisted that once they left Terra, all the brothers be made aware of the truth.  He knew the loyalty they felt for him and was confident that none would stand against this because it was for the strength of the Empire and would allow them to avenge the fallen five of the lost crusade.

 

Gabriel knew he had just entered into an agreement with the proverbial devils and that the risk he and his chapter were taking could one day find them labeled as traitors to the Emperor and the Imperium the two bindings of service they held at their core.  He believed that this was eventually the only way to gain a tactical advantage over their enemies and their eventually destruction.  He also knew this meant he and his brothers would have no choice but to distance themselves from other brothers of the Sanquine line….Even the Blood Angels themselves.  Their cause was bigger than a connection via geneseed, it was the safeguarding the Imperium as a whole……….No sacrifice would be too great for this.

 

 

******End recording******

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I like this idea. As far as I am aware (but I am open to correction from any Moderatii or other members reading this thread) the notion of a large-scale invasion of the webway has not yet been explored in much detail.

 

Whenever someone tries to give their DIY chapter access to the best equipment, and simultaneously tries to contrive some way of allowing them to exceed codex size, some criticism might be expected - if only because it seems as though you are trying to make your DIY chapter superior to others. But I honestly do not think that your Emperor's Tears invite such criticism. The story offers a strong context that justifies the share equipment they will receive. There is also a viable justification as to why they will exceed codex size. Finally, the story introduces a nice set of pros and cons that suits the grim setting (in my view). 

 

I can imagine that relations between all the above-mentioned factions will sometimes be glorious and intimate - especially when they secure devastating victories over the Dark Eldar. Equally, however, I can imagine times when Inquisitorial control will chafe. 

 

It is also clear to me that Alexander is perfectly aware of this. He seems to understand that this alliance will require tremendously convoluted politicking and compromise. The jury is out on how his descendants among the Emperor's Tears will judge him in the future.

 

 

As a minor stylistic comment: the line about being summoned into the catacombs like beasts of labour reads a little strangely to me. Beasts of labour are not taken into catacombs. Perhaps something along the lines of like condemned criminals could be explored?

 

Just my two cents. 

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@Welcheren.... i stole your comment about condemned criminals. Thanks for the input.

 

So to address some of your statements/Inquiries.....

 

I will get into in in the next piece I add but spoiler, even though their chapter size does violate the codex, no more than two of the battle-fleets will join together at one time but in general the fleets stay seperate under a task force commander, one of 3 Praetorian's that answer only to Alexander who leads the first fleet with the flagship.  The fourth fleet is only a recruiting, reserve and training force so they rarely engage in direct conflict.  

 

Alexander is well aware that he just got into bed with the proverbial devil, and yes there will be a fair amount of bad to go along with their benefits. They also have to basically be isolationists because they will use or seek to claim Xenos knowledge and technology.  This will lead to a few conflicts in the future where they may or may not be forced to eliminate and ally in order to maintain the secrecy of their use of Xenos knowledge and equipment....like modified plasma weapons, plus non approved modified STC equipment etc... 

 

There may or may not be an altercation or two with fundamentalist members of the inquisition as well.....   Much more to come.  I will also be doing up a timeline of major events in the chapters history both official and sealed records.

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**************************DATA FILE THOLOSIAN INCIDENT********************************

948.M41

 

 

On the obscure but strategically important agricultural world of Tholosia a wave of metal reign and death was about to befall the unsuspecting inhabitants. Unbeknownst to them Tholosia was once a thriving Necron Tomb World some 60 Million years ago.  Buried deep beneath the ground in nearly endless underground caverns, this ancient race lay in slumber.  Tholosia was a critical supplier of food, water and other minerals within the Segmentum Tempestus.  Located within a few systems of Danubis, the Ordo Xenos had known for some time of the fate of Danubis and Luther Macintyre IX to the Necron.  The Ordo had spent many resources observing and monitoring the region for any other sign of the Necron plague, but even it was caught off guard by the events that followed.

 

 

The Necron Tombs on Tholosia woke quickly and with almost no warning they struck out against several of the major cities and agricultural complexes eliminating all inhabitants mercilessly.  The planetary defenses were putting up a valiant defensive effort but they were simply no match for the might of the Necron Swarms. The capital citadel was able to send out an urgent distress call begging any and all Imperial Military aid.

 

010101010101010101010 squelch 0101010101010101010101 squelch 01010101010101010101 Lord Inquisitor….01010101010101010 squelch.... we have received a priority distress call from the planetary governor  of Tholosia 010101010101010  squelch………

 

Inquisitor Sadat was serving a prolonged rotation as one of the advisors to Chapter Master Alexander Gabriele of the Emperors Tears.  The two men had a tenuous relationship at best.  Gabriele had long honored his secret alliance with the Conclave of Magi and this was not the first Inquisitorial Advisor he did not agree with Ideologically or militarily, but this one had proven on several occasions to be a different  and more hostile relationship.  On several occasions during engagements with Xenos threats, Sadat tried in vain to seize control of operations regardless of how successful the chapter had been at securing technology and artifacts for study while simultaneously wiping out Xenos threats. Inquisitor Sadat was very senior among the Ordo Xenos, but he was also somewhat of a pariah.  His methods and beliefs where often interpreted as extreme and overbearing even amongst other members of the Conclave and Inquisition.

 

Inquisitor Sadat walked onto the bridge of the flagship of the Emperors Tears, The Harbinger of Sarrow

 

***Lord Gabriel, the Conclave has need of you and your brothers.***

 

***What does the Conclave ask of us now Lord Inquisitor?***

 

***We have received a high priority distress call from the Aggro world of Tholosia.  All indications point to it being an awakening of the Necron scourge.  We would request you summon a second fleet of your brothers to join us.  The Conclave would like to rid this key world of the Necron threat before any other Imperial forces get involved, and you will need more the support of a second battle force.***

 

***I assume this is not solely for the noble goal of saving an Imperial logistical support  world…….I surmise you will want us to recover as many Necron Items as we can during the conflict for the Conclaves categorizing and use for the betterment of the Empire…..Snarled Gabriele with a strong tint of sarcasm.***

 

***Yes Lord Gabriele that is in fact what you exist for is it not… to Serve the will of the Conclave.****

 

Lord Gabriel moved slowly but purposefully across the bridge of the Harbinger of Sorrow, till he stood directly in front of Inquisitor Sadat.  A wave of utter silence ran across the entirety of the bridge.  Gabriele stood only centimeters from the Inquisitor and looked down at him, the expression he wore was one of anger and utter disgust.

 

In a firm, and authoritarian voice Lord Gabriele spoke……

 

*** I have made this alliance with your conclave for the betterment of the Empire, I have labored through time and space to defend it and the Emperors will long before you were born, and the emperor willing, long after you are a mere data file in some servitors records.  We serve the will of the Emperor and the Imperium…..not you, your Conclave on any other man.  Do not forget yourself or your place.  Inquisitor or not, if you besmirch the honor of my chapter again with such a comment I will dispatch you as I have so many others in the name of the Emperor.*** 

 

Sadat gave a very slight nod to Gabreile, never breaking eye contact, until he turned and left the bridge.

 

For six years the Emperors Tears fought the Necron across the planet, slowly and methodically gaining back ground while also claiming numerous items for the Conclaves study.  Along the way Sadat openly questioned each move Gabriele made.  Questioning his focus, why he would defend small outposts simply to allow the inhabitants to escape, why he was not using the rapid deployments he and his chapter were known for, why he cared so much for protecting certain planetary infrastructures. In one heated exchange Lord Gabriele informed Sadat that in order for the Imperium to continue to use the needed resources and strategic location of Tholosia in the future, there must first be a Tholosia.

 

954. M41 – The Schism

 

After years of pitched fighting, the Emperors Tears were nearing the massive pyramid like Tomb monolith that controlled the Necron force. However no matter what assault they through at its defenses the Emperors Tears simply could not break through. Sadat was merciless in his question of tactics and called for much more extreme measures but Gabreile would not hear of it. Gabriele committed two full companies to an outright close range assault of the temple, when the assault appeared to slow all in the chapter were surprised by what happened next.  Within moments a full Orbital bombardment began, heavy weapons from dozens of ships in the fleet including the Flagship itself opened up on the entire region the Necron Tomb was in.  The devastation and destruction was final.  Over 200 Marines and equipment lost in a few moments….scattered vox calls questioning what was going on littered the audio systems….and then as quickly as they began….utter silence.

 

Gabriele stood in silence and awe, his confusion and anger grew by the second…..

 

***I did not order this, who is responsible, what have you done……where did this come from……. ****

 

Sadat calmly walked onto the bridge.

 

 ***I gave the order to do what you would not, I sent a program code to the fire control servitors throughout the fleet and ordered them to fire on the location of the tomb….it has been totally destroyed****

 

****You madman, you fool, you have murdered two hundred of my brothers in your insane quest for control of this conflict.  You are were an advisor nothing else….how dare you****

 

Gabriele began to cross the bridge towards Sadat.

 

****I  did what you would not and in my opinion could not do, defeat the Necron tomb.  Those Marines will quickly be replaced with our support as will the equipment by the Conclave.  You finally know your position in all of this Gabriele.****

 

****No Inquisitor Sadat but you will learn yours****

 

Gabriele closed the ground quickly drawing his power sword before Sadat could fully draw his weapon, Gabriel swung his sword and cleaved off Sadat’s right hand. Sadat slumped quickly to the ground…….

 

His voice full of pain…

 

**** you dare strike at an Inquisitor**** 

 

****Oh I dare so much more than strike you Inquisitor Sadat!****

 

​Gabriele exclaimed in a manner that his anger and malicious intent could almost be felt through his words...

 

Gabriele sheathed his sword and with one hand grabbed Sadat by the throat and lifted him off his feet and into the air, and with his other hand he drew his combat knife.

 

****You will be a living reminder to the conclave to not send me such a fool as you ever again, you will wear your assault on my brothers as a living breathing symbol of the dishonor you brought to us and the conclave.*****

 

Gabriele cut out Sadats tongue so his impetuous voice would never again be heard. Sadat screamed in pain as he cut through every major tendon in Sadat's arms and legs so he may never physically stand against anyone ever again and then he cut out his eyes so he would never see the fruits of the Chapters or the Conclaves labors. 

 

****I left your ears so you can hear my pledge, I will contact Morin and tell him all the details that have transpired to include my mutilation of you, you pathetic fool.  I will remind him that these are my Marines, my brothers and we serve the Emperor not you, I will tell him how I intend to honor our agreement with the conclave but I will warn him if they ever send me such a man as you again, I will risk exterminates as I expose the conclave to the Imperium and hunt each and every last one of your kind down. ****

 

True to his word Gabriele contacted Morin and set a meeting.  The two met and Gabriele  turned over to him the shadow of a man he had turned Sadat into. He recited to him the entire history of events going back to Sadat’s arrival in the fleet.  Morin claimed ignorance of Sadat’s actions and while he did not approve of Gabriele’s response, he reaffirmed their alliance and commitment to the shared ultimate goal.  He promised no more advisers would dare cross the lines Sadat did and requested Gabriele to simply remove them from his fleet and send them back to the conclave at the earliest signs of it potentially happening.  Morin then offered himself as the next adviser and pledged to help rebuild what Sadat had undone.  Morin ordered Sadat be taken to a prison chamber and quietly transferred to a faraway and forgotten prison world.

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I am really enjoying this take on a Blood Angles Successor.  I am also doing one the deviates from typical BA story arcs.  I think your ties with the inquisitional Conclave and the now tenuous relationship leaves a lot of possibilities.  They started out together because of shared Ideals, but now it seems they stay together for fear of mutual assured destruction.....hmmmm

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I must admit that when I started reading this IA I feared your chapter was heading into Mary Sue territory.  I am pleasantly surprised to be wrong.  Your reasons for all the special treatment are well thought out and plausible while still managing to be grim/dark.  Well done.  The tension between the conclave and the chapter is just a treasure trove possibilities.  Consider this thread followed I look forward to reading more and seeing how you develop this.

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I will be jumping around in the timeline a little to tell their story. The next piece will be a short piece I am working on about the first Chapter Master Zephyr and when he discovered the true reason the Inquisitor and Ad Mech members on their crusade advised them to follow the Dark Eldar into the web.....the search for the mythical Black Library. (Dont worry they never find it or come close, but it will lay more ground work for the current timelines tenuous alliance.)
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You seem to have a whole set of ideas in development. 

 

I have one broad comment that is entirely subjective, so do with it what you like. 

 

Your first Inquisitorial advisor is brash and overtly intrusive and that suits your story well. I am just curious about another possibility: an Inquisitor who is not overtly interfering, but one who works by increments: that is, an antagonist who is more subtle. A story with this kind of character can be told in a series of short installments that show how the relationship starts out amicably. The Inquisitor and Alexander get along fine. But after a while, the reader is allowed to realise that this is only the case because they happen to agree. Slowly, the tension builds. The manipulative nature of the Inquisitor is revealed by increments. In this way you can slowly build the tension that leads to your dramatic scene. This might also explain how the Inquisitor manages to usurp the weapons capabilities of an Astartes warship: it is revealed that he possesses a bypass code to weapons-servitors. 

 

As another twist, you could suggest (gently) that Morin was hoping that Sadat would eventually be killed (owing to some internal power squabble. Instead of sending Sadat to a prison world he has him killed, but under circumstances that might implicate the Emperor's Tearns (just as another card up his sleeve... just in case). 

 

In small ways the reader is led to suspect that Morin might be a more subtle (and less pig-headed) advisor - but no less bent on using the chapter as an instrument (in fact, he is actually better at manipulating them BECAUSE of his greater arts of subterfuge).

 

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with your story. I am just thinking of how meticulously the fall of Horus was planned. There were so many small moments that led to the big one. I think there might be a lesson in that style. 

 

But that is just my two cents. Make with it what you will. 

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You are either A. reading my mind or B. reading my mind. Morin is just that, his character will over time to attempt to manipulate not only Alexander, but Kieran and several other characters yet to be introduced. Not in a doom of the Chapter kind of way but it will become a more subtle power struggle between the two with peaks and valley.....
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