Doctor Perils Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 NOOOOooobody expects the Spanish Inquisition ! Our chief weapon is fear. And surprise... Our TWO weapons are fear, surprise, and a ruthless efficiency... Oh, I'll come in again ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 First draft, planning on rereading soon to review... once my eyes become unfamiliar with it again... 'scuse the spelling. *History of cool grimdark assassin order here* I don't know much about Imperial Assassins, but these guys are pretty awesome. My only bit of C&C is that there's a section where you use the word 'callous' or 'callousness' twice quite close together. Maybe consider 'ruthless' or 'ruthlessness' for one of those, and I'd say that's pretty much all the polish it needs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aqui Posted June 22, 2015 Author Share Posted June 22, 2015 Aquilanus - I notice that I'm not marked off as complete, yet. What else do I need to do? I thought I'd read that you were going to review it, before marking it as complete. I'll take a read in a bit and get back to you, but I think you've hit all the points Edit: Perfectly fine, Brother! Marked as Complete! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 Okay. Well, I'll refine the article over what time we have but it's pretty much there, I think. Short of C&C from anyone, I think I've done alright. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aqui Posted June 22, 2015 Author Share Posted June 22, 2015 Okay. Well, I'll refine the article over what time we have but it's pretty much there, I think. Short of C&C from anyone, I think I've done alright. I didn't see your post after I edited my last one. It's all good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulJam Posted June 22, 2015 Share Posted June 22, 2015 First draft, planning on rereading soon to review... once my eyes become unfamiliar with it again... 'scuse the spelling. *History of cool grimdark assassin order here* I don't know much about Imperial Assassins, but these guys are pretty awesome. My only bit of C&C is that there's a section where you use the word 'callous' or 'callousness' twice quite close together. Maybe consider 'ruthless' or 'ruthlessness' for one of those, and I'd say that's pretty much all the polish it needs. C found to be concise and helpful & C appreciated. "ruthless" works for me, cheers Brother Ace i got my first (well only) metal Eversor way back when... they were metal. a psycho bezerker literally on steroids, or blow, or both. what's not to love?! considering getting a couple more and moding them now that i don't need a soldering iron. [later] just bought two mmmmmouuhhahahahaaa... vow complete Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teetengee Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Can we have radical/renegade inquisitors/assassins/dudes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Perils Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 I don't see why you shouldn't ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Can we have radical/renegade inquisitors/assassins/dudes? A radical Inquisitor is still an Inquisitor, even if only in name. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teetengee Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Well, for now I have a loyalist: I, Teetengee, vow to create Inquisitor Zorn, the Wrecker, by the 17th July 2015 at 18:00 (GMT). This I vow or will be eternally damned by Him on Earth!and what I have so far: Hidden Content Born in Hades Hive, Armageddon 933.M41, Zorn spent her early years fighting for life within the bowels of the Hive. Eventually she found herself as part of the household guard of one of the more powerful families. When the Orks came Armageddon, the heavy warfare cost her most of what she had gained, in addition to her left arm. The first assaults lead to rioting which ended up claiming the life of Zorn’s employer. Unable to find a living outside of fighting, Zorn enlisted. Her previous experience served her well and allowed her to survive the hell of combat alongside thousands of haphazardly trained guard, defense forces, and conscripts. Some of her best war stories are still from fighting alongside Commissar Yarrick during one of the Ork offensives into the Hive, even if she did have her concerns about some of his methods. Towards the end of the battles for Hades Hive Zorn received the wound that would change her journey forever. The loss of her arm meant that until she could be given a cybernetic replacement, her usefulness in a field combatant role was almost nil. Fortunately, her sergeant had noticed Zorn was a quick learner and recommended that she be transferred to logistics. Although she internally railed against the indignity of such a post at first, Zorn realized that it was the only realistic thing she could do, but never lost sight of her true passion, bringing death to greenskin filth. Zorn excelled at her new post but always kept an eye out and a prayer on her lips for an opportunity to get back in the front lines, with a combat ready bionic of course. Her prayers were answered in the form of Inquisitor Malak of the Ordo Xenos. Malak had come to Armageddon to investigate the methodology which was used to defeat the Ork menace. The inquisitor believed that the use of Ork technology and customs against them seemed to be more deadly than would otherwise be expected, and aimed to find out why this was the case. Although personally believing it was just psychology, Zorn jumped at the chance to provide “a native and well versed guide for the region and methods in question” when Malak requisitioned an aide. This began Zorn’s induction into the Ordo Xenos. Under Malak, Zorn not only gained a formidable combat bionic in the form of a brutal yet dexterous power gauntlet, but gained invaluable knowledge on fighting the greenskin menace. Eventually becoming an Inquisitor in her own right, she sought out Ork battlegrounds all over the region in order to test herself against them and to aid the Imperial war effort. Inquisitor Zorn found that her particular talents were best suited in destroying the ramshackle creations and vehicles of the green tide. The path of destruction she and her henchmen wrought upon the fields of battle earned her the nickname of Wrecker amongst the Mek-boyz of the enemy. This interest also lead her on more than one occasion to cross paths with inquisitors from other Ordos when reports of tech heresy arose. On one such occasion Zorn ended up putting her anti-armour expertise to use not against xenos, but against the foul legionnaires of the Iron Warriors. Her efforts there were unfortunately insufficient to protect the planet against the need for exterminatus. It is no surprise that when Ghazghkull Thraka returned in force to Armageddon, Inquisitor Zorn was not far behind. Working behind the scenes, she and her servants eliminated dozens of Ork offensives before they could even begin by cutting down supply lines and eliminating transports. Enraged with the stalemate that ended the war and seeking vengeance for the affront to her homeland, Inquisitor Zorn left at the conclusion of the conflict to help hunt Thraka and the other Ork leaders to the end of the galaxy. Though so far deprived of her prize, and having butted heads with emissaries of both Yarrick and Helbrecht on multiple occasions, Zorn has not lost on ounce of faith that her furious road will end with Ghazghkull’s head on a spike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teetengee Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Can we have radical/renegade inquisitors/assassins/dudes? A radical Inquisitor is still an Inquisitor, even if only in name. but renegades? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Can we have radical/renegade inquisitors/assassins/dudes? A radical Inquisitor is still an Inquisitor, even if only in name. but renegades? They were Inquisitors once, even if they have fallen completely off of the 'NO-HERESY' wagon. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aqui Posted June 23, 2015 Author Share Posted June 23, 2015 Radical Inquisitors and those who have fallen to that which should not be named are welcome Vows updated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teetengee Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 evil laughter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulJam Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I, paulJam, vow to relay he summary history of Domen Rathari Inquistor of the Ordos Xenos, by the 17th July 2015 at 18:00 (GMT). This I vow or will be eternally damned by Him on Earth! yes, a second one. it occurred to me (belatedly) that i should have fluffed out one of my setting's more influential characters given the opportunity. now with its own thread in case i feel creative later... http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/topic/312055-liber-challenge-iv-doman-rathari/?p=4140047 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aqui Posted June 24, 2015 Author Share Posted June 24, 2015 Second vow recorded, Brother! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
airinhere Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I, Airinhere, vow to create Inquisitor Dr. Albious Brighton and Inquisitor Valeria Mane Retento, by the 17th July 2015 at 18:00 (GMT). This I vow or will be eternally damned by Him on Earth! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaplian Belphoron Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I, Chaplian Belphoron, vow to create Inquisitor Mikhail Astrov, by the 17th July 2015 at 18:00 (GMT). This I vow or will be eternally damned by Him on Earth! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
airinhere Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 I present Inquisitor Brighton Name: Dr Albious Brighton Planet of origin: Rigant Theatres of War engaged in Dr Brighton was born 714 M41 as part of a genetics project of the Ministorium Pharmacologica. He was raised as an apprentice of the medical services of the Administratum researching alien devices and their usefulness regarding human applications. During his education he was able to repeatedly make direct contact with Eldar and demi human groups to directly research their methods of medical services. Several Inquisitorial agents involved with the Ordo Xenos collaborated directly with Ordo Hereticus oversight to ensure that no dangerous programs would be allowed to filter back into Imperial programs. Dr Brighton worked as a direct person of contact with the Eldar of Trathain Exodite world. His personable nature and advanced research regarding Eldar customs and behavior was of great value during this rare collaborative program. The Eldar, usually reserved and Xenophobic had a need of External sources of distraction for the Current Military leadership to retain stability of their civilian population. Dr Brightons visits were widely regarded by the Eldar as an attempt by the Mon Key to Seek aid against the growing threat of Tyranid incursion. In reality the Pretense brought forth of Tyranic threat from Hive fleet Behemoth was a diplomatic ice breaker to gather insight into the elusive society of the Exodite Eldar. Dr Brighton would travel back and forth to his homeworld of Rigant several times while visiting the Exodite Eldarr bringing data samples each time. During his most successful trip he was entrusted with a small relic in the shape of a stylized sun with a circular moon in the middle of it. Polished steel without any seam and slighty vibrating to the touch. A rare Eldar Displacement field generator that could mask the appearance of a small transport so as to disappear and seem to be several feet away from its true location. Earning such a rare present from the Eldar brought Dr. Brighton to the attention of the Ordo Xenos Inquisitors he was Assigned under. They quickly secreted the item away and worked to find its source of power and how it could be controlled. Inquisitor Caelumix Aranthos of the Ordo Xenos assigned to the Exodite project brought the young doctor into his personal retinue and began careful observation. Suspicion and worry about Xenos tech and corruption of the human spirit always hung in the background of their activities. Dr Brighton continued in his service to Inquisitor Aranthos for several more years, developing a more involved understanding of the methods used by the Inquisition and how he could use his skills and intellect to advance the cause of humanity. In 745 M41 Hive fleet Behemoth appeared as an unstopable force moving acros the galaxy. Inquisitor Aranthos was one of several Inquisitorial agents sent to investigate this new threat and to assess the realistic danger and threat of these biogenic monsters. Dr. Albious turned his education toward the tasks of understanding the Tyranid weapons and lifeforms brought to him. His skill at handling these dangerous beasts and insight into their alien ways brought him much acclaim. It was during these early experiences with the Tyranid, that he was recalled to a Black warp craft and brought into the Inquisition as a full Agent. He was assigned into the Ordo Xenos with a focus on the Tyranic threat. A modest starship, the Midnight Watching was granted to him and he took on a full staff of medical personnel and military personnel. Their task was to gather any relevant data about locations, activities physical adaptations and genetic weaknesses that could be used by the Imperium. It was during this time that the good doctor also began using a modified mark IV dreadnought suit to assist him with heavy lifting on larger Tyranic lifeforms. Weapons mounts were added to provide some degree of combat readiness after regenerative properties were discovered in several specimens that were wrongly thought to be fully dead. After the Battle of Maccrage, the Tyranic fleets dispersed widely into small manageable hordes and it was during this time that Dr. Brighton honed his skills at tracking data and Warp signatures to predict sites where Tyranids would appear. This often brought little succor to the worlds in the way of these micro fleets, but with proper preparation, many were spared or made able to evacuate. Having performed such a singular activity within the Inquisition, the next few decades stretched on into centuries of the doctor dissecting the bodies of reported aliens thought to be Tyranids and searching for their disappearing trails. As an aged scholar and warrior of nearly three hundred years, the doctors worst fears proved true. A Tyranic attack appearing in the Eastern Fringe. Hive fleet Kraken was announced by the upheaval of Ichar IV and the genestealer infested population heralded the arrival of a shocking mass of Tyranid specimens. Roused from his laboratories deep within the Fortress upon Talasa Prime to research the extent of this new Invasion. Once again, the doctors ability to predict routes and forces of the invading organisms was astounding. When the beasts were found to be headed towards the Eldar craftworld Iyaden. The decision to allow the Xenos threat to handle itself was unanimous among his peers and with little effort to keep the monsters from straying from their path of Xenos destruction, the Imperial forces restrained themselves from wasting resources. Because of the good doctors long ago standing with the Eldar species, he was assigned two young Inquisitorial acolytes from the Ordo Hereticus. Each was assigned the task of observation and also military activities in the region. Acolyte Rogal Harth was a dour man raised from birth aboard starships. He had never known anything but military life and the endless metal passageways of the massive craft used by the Empire. Acolyte Valeria Mane was born planet side in an Echlesiastic world in the Ophelia system. She was devoted fully to the imperial doctrine and possessed a keen mind. Her ability to absorb the massive information the doctor could offer endeared her to him despite the obvious reporting she would do on his activities. In 997 M41 hive fleet Leviathan appeared across the galaxy in a bold new attack. The doctor found himself researching new mutations and species that were unknown before. With the overwhelming force presented, confusion reigned as the Tyranids attacked mercilessly. The doctors home world of Rigant was attacked when tendrils of the fleet consuming Tesla Prime discovered the doctors research facility there. Having long since worked out what parts of the Tyranid mind was responsible for controlling smaller specimens, the doctor would remove the required parts, link that to life support and then connect pain amplifiers to it. Using Psykers as living energy boosters, these experimental projects of his would lure Tyranids to a specific point then assault them with a intense scream of raw pain that overwhelmed their minds for as long as the devices were active. The cost for human psykers was an acceptable way to use their filthy abilities and recieved the full support of the Ordo Herecticus during his trials. Drawn by the macabre experimental specimens, the Tyranids were butchered as they were lead to traps, and carefully planned incidents. Sadly the once luxurious plains of Rigant were destroyed and would never bear wholesome fruit again. During one of these incidents, the doctor was severely wounded and required extensive life support to extend his life. His dreadnought unit was modified to allow him to integrate fully into its systems. However, he was no longer able to be trusted with his own safety after being exposed to so many psionics during his experiments. Truly, his experimental devices had enfeebled his mind to a great degree and he became almost oblivious to the world. But he retained a final spark of brilliance. The psionic backlash of those devices had amplified his ability to predict upcoming events and those that had passed. Never again could his mind be able to act independently, but his mind was far too valuable to waste. During those final days, the Assault mentally and physically from the Tyranids had killed one of his Ordo Hereticus watchers, but The Acolyte Valeria Mane was promoted for her service to the Inquisition and in her holy goodness, took Dr. Brightons crippled body and his battered dreadnought war machine and forged a new holy shrine from it that she might face her enemies and have all the faithfulness of her wisest teacher alongside her always. His voice lost to psychic damage, but his words ever spread by his holy pen as he scribes the details of all that passes for only her eyes to see. Notable characters engaged with Inquisitor Kryptman often engaged in overlapping operations. Dr. Brightons resources were always focused on laboratory work and only would venture into combat if needed or to collect specimens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lysimachus Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Vow complete! http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/topic/310116-liber-challenge-iv-inquisitorial-retinue/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulJam Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Second Vow Complete As per original post. i will probably tinker with it (grammar and logic) but am happy with the structure and content. cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aqui Posted June 26, 2015 Author Share Posted June 26, 2015 I'm not near a computer, but I acknowledge the above posts for completion and new vows (will update when I get home tonight) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaplian Belphoron Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Lord Inquisitor Mikhail Astrov Mikhail was born to guard officers, who died early in his life in a battle against necrons. He was then sent to the Militarium Tempestus for training. He advanced through the ranks of the tempestus quickly until he was a tempestor at 19. Shortly thereafter he was noticed by an Inquisitor of the Ordo Xenos. He was noticed for his zealous fury against necrons and savant level intelligence. He became this inquisitor’s protégé and upon the aging inquisitor’s death Mikhail assumed his duties as an inquisitor of the Ordo Xenos, at the age of 35. Mikhail began searching for some way to defeat the necrons reliably, roughly four years into his research he came across documents saying that the Templars of Blood’s chapter planet housed the only dead Tomb World ever found. Devoid of all power Mikhail found the ruins relatively safe for the next 30 years he researched the ruins with his body guard of Tempestus, Techpriests, and Deathwatch Techmarines. In this time he created several very impressive achievements like the Xenos Bane, a sword constructed from necron living metal, the Mark XXVIII hotshot lasgun/pistol, Hotshot las weapons enhanced with gauss technology, and many others. At the age of 65 he was promoted to lord inquisitor in charge of the Tolarius sector, the sector in which the Templars of Blood’s chapter planet lies, as this sector has a large known necron threat. Over the course of the next 20 years he trained one of his inquisitorial storm troopers one Louis Javert as his protégé, he died at the age of 85 in a battle with a necron lord, but not before critically wounding the automaton first. He died in the year 969M41. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aqui Posted June 26, 2015 Author Share Posted June 26, 2015 Vows updated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulJam Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Just been writing some new stuff for my main fluff and have been able to included some aspects from work done in this challenge. thanks liber. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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