simison Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 (edited) I have a confession. I've done some work on my own version of the Eleventh. Not a lot, and they take place in an alternate continuity where Raktra never existed. I'm bringing them here from Heresy30k due to the Brotherhood of the Lost universe. I'm holding them in reserve, in case we wanted to fill out the roster and to offer a nominal Traitor legion in that continuity. Blast From the Past: I was on my patrol, and with a major goal nearly completed with the Halcyon Wardens, I found my mind wandering back to my version of the XIth. Not a lot of thought had been put into it other than an emphasis on apothecaries. The legion title was Hospitallers. Since then, Imperial Knights have been introduced, I've discovered plenty of knight motifs, and the thought of adding yet another one made me cringe. Which led me to idly rework some of the features. *Note* This is not yet a serious attempt by me to create the XIth. This is me compiling my recent thoughts on the subject. Will I ever finish this thread? Perhaps. XIth Legion Mirror Culture: Ancient China (Shaolin Temple?) Unique traits: Strengthened apothecary corps/Pariah marines Primarch: The Jade General (?), never gives a name besides title. Pariah. Wields power staff (Not a spear) History thoughts: Only legion that failed to make it past Alpha stage Primarch one of the last ones found, and was only one able to stabilize legion Loathed by Chaos gods Combat style focus on hand-to-hand martial arts "My question would be what element of the Emperor does the Jade General represent?" My knee-jerk reaction is to say anti-daemon side. Nothing quite says "No warp here!" like a Pariah. From the vague concept I have in my head, there are a couple of other ideas. While Magnus is the warp professor, Lorgar the philosopher, and Guilliman the logistician, not one of them embodies the Emperor as a scientist. Vulkan is a blacksmith, while Ferrus is a tech-head. Here, the Jade Emper-gyah! I mean General could fulfill the role as warrior-scientist, especially with the emphasis on medical technology. Personality-wise, I imagine him like a Chinese mentor. Distant and regal with a load of wisdom at his fingertips. Since he is a Pariah, he's automatically going to be pushed away from the common man just from the vibes he gives off. While it does create an edge of bitterness, it also gives him a sort of bird's viewpoint of Humanity in general. Much like how the Emperor has been watching over the species for thousands of years from the shadows before he put on the shiny armor. A few more thoughts, now that moving isn't taking all of my brainpower. The pariah marines will be a detachment of specialists like the Caryana. The Primus Medicae will now be able to fulfill a compulsary HQ-choice. Instead of a unique terminator unit, the XIth will have a unique jump-pack unit. Maybe even a jet-pack unit. If jet-pack, it would be highly experimental, but fitting in the 'flying martial artists' theme that the Chinese love in their movies. Not sure if I want to change Jade's weapon from a power staff to power fists (and boots?), but make them slimmer. With the pariah and apothecary themes being covered by unique characters and units, I'm not sure what the actual legion bonuses should be. Probably going to need to read up on ancient Chinese warfare. Time to play some Dynasty Warriors! ....or read some Sun Tzu. I'm just trying to come up with a weapon style we haven't seen before, primarch-wise. Definitely want to emphasize speed. Various ideas for other unique characters - 'Supreme' Primus Medicae: Huang Pai. Grants 3+ FNP, CC Weapon: adamantium needles (Str -2, Fleshbane?); needle pistol Prince of War Guan Yu? Blank character or is Primarch more than enough? Color armor? Hmmm... Jade would obviously have to be the primary color. I'm resisting the urge to say Red, Green, & Blue (curse you, Dynasty Warriors!). I would probably look up what the traditional colors the Chinese Emperor would wear. Perhaps mix it with the emperors of a few other dynasties. Or just throw in some Communism Red for contrast. Edited November 28, 2017 by Lord Thørn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Perils Posted August 7, 2015 Share Posted August 7, 2015 Hey, this is a good concept ! It seems like you don't really want to work all that much on these if the roster is complete, but here are a few comments for anyone using this work : In the "official" timeline, we know he has to be censured at least before Corax and Alpharius/Omegon are found (Corax never knew his lost brothers, and Alpharius was last found). Also, why is he censured ? I think that this point is one of the most important (and most interesting) points to develop when creating a lost legion. For the Primarch's weapons, give him the option: Other primarchs have them (e.g. Perturabo) so why not him ? Fluff-wise, the few Librarians the Legion has may focalise on the "ki" energy, and so their psychic powers are mainly turned to close combat (and possibly healing) Apothecary character: Oof, FNP 3+ ? Shouldn't 4+ be quite sufficient ? I don't think I'd mind the blank character, meaning that your legion could field 3 kinds of pariah units. Could really be worse. However, I'd probably create a terran character from before the coming of the primarch. He could also have terminator armour (one special character with terminator armour seems like a minimum to me, if you haven't got a terminator special unit). This would allow you to explore what it meant for the Legion to be a failure, since you haven't yet been much into the detail there. Create those "slim" power gauntlets as one of the Legions unique weapons, and give them to champions with kung fu poses, that would be pretty awesome in its kitsch-ness http://image.bolterandchainsword.com//public/style_emoticons/default/tongue.png In the fluff, you might want to explore the "terracota warriors" theme, possibly with the Battle automata and/or Dreadnoughts ? Or otherwise you could go down the road that the Mummy 3 film takes, and actually have living-dead terracota warriors, which eventually leads to the censure... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 What leads the Jade General into trouble is the Pariah Marines. As a geneticist, he attempts to tweak the geneseed to reliably create the Pariahs. The Emperor warns him to stop, he doesn't because he believes the Warp is more trouble than it's worth. Which leads to him being purged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Perils Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 What leads the Jade General into trouble is the Pariah Marines. As a geneticist, he attempts to tweak the geneseed to reliably create the Pariahs. The Emperor warns him to stop, he doesn't because he believes the Warp is more trouble than it's worth. Which leads to him being purged. Seems logical enough. After all, per Nemesis we know this to be possible. I was wondering if your pariahs would ressemble the old necron pariahs too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted August 8, 2015 Author Share Posted August 8, 2015 (edited) I am not at all familiar with them. What are they like? Edited August 8, 2015 by simison Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jareddm Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 In the "official" timeline, we know he has to be censured at least before Corax and Alpharius/Omegon are found (Corax never knew his lost brothers, and Alpharius was last found). Slight correction, but Gav Thorpe has mentioned that that particular scene between Corax and the Emperor is talking about the two primarchs that have yet to be found, (Alpharius and the second missing primarch) and not the censure of the two missing primarchs. All primarchs did meet each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raktra Posted August 8, 2015 Share Posted August 8, 2015 Aha, I can watch you from the start this time. Excellent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 I don't suppose there's a word that covers both gloves and boots? I want those to be Jay's primary weapon, while his staff be a secondary one. For mechanics, I'm thinking AP 2, +1 Initiative. Now, I want to increase his strength, but I'm not sure if I want that to be part of the weapon itself or tie it to a martial arts style. I want him to have 3 martial arts styles to choose from, at the beginning of each round. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raktra Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Might of the Earth - no initiative bonus, but always wound on 3+ at worst Grace of the Wind - -1 to hit, but opponents re-roll successful hits Fluidity of Water - -1 to wound, but opponent's weapons lose special rules for one round Thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slips Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Maybe have Weapons in the Style of Corax? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 Raktra, you're getting the themes I'm thinking, but I think we need to work on the names and the mechanics. Slipstreams, it was Corax who I was thinking of when I made the styles, but I want them to be based on martial arts, not weapons. A martial artist's greatest weapon should be his body, not what's in his hands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slips Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Well, are you staying with the Traditional Elements of Earth, Air, Fire, Water? Because they make for Great RPG Archetypes: Earth = Tank Fire = DPS Water = Healing Air = Hybrid Fire/Water Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 Well, are you staying with the Traditional Elements of Earth, Air, Fire, Water? Because they make for Great RPG Archetypes: Earth = Tank Fire = DPS Water = Healing Air = Hybrid Fire/Water I like that line of thought, and removing Air from the trio. As I understand it, Air is typically represented by optimism, upbeat attitude, and spiritual ascendance. Since Jay has none of those things, I think he should have the other three styles. So, Raktra, you were on point, except let's trade Wind for Fire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grifftofer Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Cool ideas. Really like the concept of the martial arts fighting styles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raktra Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Inwas envisioning it based off stuff from Xiaolin Showdown, I'm glad my cartoon knowledge has not failed me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slips Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Inwas envisioning it based off stuff from Xiaolin Showdown, I'm glad my cartoon knowledge has not failed me. :O! I loved that show! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 Inwas envisioning it based off stuff from Xiaolin Showdown, I'm glad my cartoon knowledge has not failed me. :O! I loved that show! We're just hitting all of your old fandoms, aren't we, Slips? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slips Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Inwas envisioning it based off stuff from Xiaolin Showdown, I'm glad my cartoon knowledge has not failed me. http://image.bolterandchainsword.com//public/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.png! I loved that show! We're just hitting all of your old fandoms, aren't we, Slips? Yuuuuuup :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Perils Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Well, are you staying with the Traditional Elements of Earth, Air, Fire, Water? Because they make for Great RPG Archetypes: Earth = Tank Fire = DPS Water = Healing Air = Hybrid Fire/Water Of course there are 5 elements in several asian traditions... I gather though that in Japanese philosophy the additional element is void, meaning that you could have the three "Stances" as you said, but he can replace the choice of stances with a jump pack (wind), and his personal flagship becomes the representation of the fifth martial art (for fluff and battlefleet gothic)... Something along those lines ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slips Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Yeah, theres still Wood, Metal and I think Gold which are in the Chinese Elements. Not sure about Japanese or the others though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 I'm going to defer to Aang on how many elements there are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slips Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Fair Enough :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 I'm thinking each style modifies 1 trait, grants 1 special rule, and comes with 1 drawback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slips Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I'm thinking each style modifies 1 trait, grants 1 special rule, and comes with 1 drawback. Makes Sense. Earth could make all his attacks unwieldy but hit harder and make him immune to some kind of effect, something like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simison Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 Almost dead-on. I was thinking that'd be the only way to give Jay x2 STR on his attacks, Concussive, and Unwieldy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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