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IL XIV - The Dune Serpents


Big Bad Squig

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And Origin Story feels to a little...awkward and too convenient. I think transmutation from fanatical, upright, jihadist crusaders and guerrilla fighters to dishonorable, sneaky Bedouin desert raiders and amoral, atrocious world-reavers would be much more dramatic and poignant. 

 

Edit: Furthermore, it could easily explain why over 40% of Dune Serpents turn to traitors, instead of relying on "because they are basically space Berber clans" rhetoric. We already have done a similar precedent: Morning Stars. 

Edited by Azorius
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  • 1 month later...
Looking over the proposed special units for the DS, there seems to be a surprising emphasis on assault given that they're meant to be more of a ranged legion. Why not include a fast moving support squad? So like they get to roll an extra dice for to run rolls and have relentless(can both move and fire rapid fire weapons) and give them plasma weapons.
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Yeah - I was planning to make another shooting unit because I've still got a few slots free - additionally they were original only going to have the one assault unit but that subsequently got divided into two different units.
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Amund Fyens, XIV Legion Assault Captain

 

A fifth generation inductee into the Legion, Amund Fyens first distinguished himself at Ohelyuk Tertius against the insectoid Veskad. Steadily climbing the ranks, he held command of the 33rd Company by the time of the Qarith Triumph. He survived the Day of Revelation and the sundering of the Legion, participating in the raid on the Han system which saw Azus rescued from captivity. His fate after that operation, however, is unknown.

 

Fyens’ armour shows tokens of Shakletian culture, particularly the fur cloak and hood worn over the helm on ceremonial occasions, which endured among Terran companies even after they adopted the Dune Serpent colours. Notably his sword is a standard Terran longblade, rather than the scimitars which would later become emblematic of the XIV under Azus. The Mk II plate, while popular among the early XIV, found little favour with the Primarch, and Terran companies were the only ones to use it in large numbers by the late Crusade period.

 

+++++

 

And now my piece from the challenge.

 

+++++

 

Ghosts of the White Plains

The history of the XIV Legion begins in the latter years of the Unification Wars, in the borderlands between Orioc and the remnants of the Pan-Pacific Empire, among other powers. On the salt plains and ice drifts of the Shakletian Wastes, a nomadic culture had evolved to survive in the shadow of far more powerful neighbours. They sheltered in subterranean locales, always ready to flee at a moment’s notice, and they traveled in small, ragtag convoys of vehicles.

 

Circumstances dictated their way of war, with an emphasis on guerilla tactics. Shelters, once abandoned, became traps for overconfident invaders, as did the war machine graveyards that littered the plains. Often the largely featureless salt flats were exploited for their potential to disorient intruders. The most prized trick of all was to direct one incursion against another, knowing that the Shakletians were viewed as quite insignificant threats. At the end of a battle, any tech that could be made to function was salvaged, and so the nomads acquired a strange melange of weapons and vehicles.

 

However, they never had an opportunity to expand their domain to a significant degree. Narthan Dume and his rivals simply had armies too vast and too powerful to guard any fortress or border against. Moreover, they lacked substantial manufactoria and had no way of matching the gene-brute soldiers used by the barbarian kingdoms. When the Emperor finally toppled the Unspeakable King the Shakletians waited to see what would occur, wary of exposing themselves to attack by an ascendant power. Orioc, indeed, was emboldened, and its cultists of the Eternal Dirge launched a fresh wave of assaults against Dume’s old vassals even as the forces of Unity advanced towards them.

 

The first Imperial forces to reach Shakletia made much the same mistakes as their enemies had, and the Thunder Warriors suffered far steeper losses than had been expected. The nascent III Legion arrived to support them, but while they made substantial advances, their casualty rates too came as an unpleasant surprise. To be sure, the III would have achieved total conquest of the region within a few months, but Rollon, their first Legion Master, decided that another course of action was more desirable. Shakletia had little value except as a stepping-stone to Orioc, and the nomads were plainly no friends to the Dirge cultists. Over the objections of the Thunder Warriors, Rollon argued for an attempt at negotiation, even an alliance.

 

The Emperor saw the wisdom of Rollon’s counsel, and made His way to the theatre to meet with the nomads. The Shakletian war leader, it transpired, was a young man named John Lawrenz. Orphaned by an Orioc slaving foray, he had grown up with a fierce hatred for the cultists, tempered only by his concern for the people he fought for. Many of the strategies that had stalled the Thunder Warriors were of his devising, and the Emperor recognised the potential for Lawrenz and his men if they could be elevated to the power of the space marines.

 

The terms he offered were simple: the Shakletians would serve as outriders to His forces, and the Emperor would destroy the last of the tyrants who had forced this hardship on them for generations. The importance of the latter can hardly be overstated, as the Shakletians’ existence had been moulded by those who sought to rule them even when they defied would-be conquerors. Plenty and comfort were luxuries they had never enjoyed; if the Emperor proved true to His word, their horizons would broaden exponentially.

 

The course of the war against the Dirge cultists of Orioc is of course well known, although the Shakletian role in it is less so. They served admirably, as they did with the III Legion against the last of Narthan Dume’s viceroys and vassals. When the Emperor met with Lawrenz again, on the eve of His departure for the final warzones around Arrakis, He made a new offer. The men of Shakletia would form the XIV Legion Astartes, carrying the light of Unity beyond Terra. In return for his people’s right to claim several of Orioc’s frontier settlements, Lawrenz and the Shakletian elders accepted.

 

Lawrenz and the first captains drew on several martial traditions besides their own heritage. The Shakletian way of war had been born of vulnerability, fighting to survive in the shadow of powers mighty enough to contest the very planet against the forces of Unification. Now the power at their disposal went far beyond their previous bounds. It would only grow after total victory on Terra and the Pact of Mars.

 

The defining emphasis on motion remained; the XIV fielded large numbers of jetbikes and were enthusiastic adopters of the Land Speeder when the STC was unearthed. The Land Raider, in contrast, featured less in their arsenal than many other Legions. Combined with intensive use of gunships for their firepower, the XIV employed these in rapid attacks to wear down and fragment their enemies. Assault marines led the majority of infantry actions, closing quickly. Recon squads were expanded and deployed in open battle as often as the tasks for which they were named. Tactical squads remained the backbone of the Legion, but played less of a leading role compared to their cousins, deploying in the wake of initial strikes.

 

The XIV understood the value of weapons that would sow fear among their foes, and so their assault units often used volkites, flamers and melta guns for their terrifying effects. Lawrenz also exploited the intimidating spectacle of the Astartes themselves, placing mortal troops on display before unveiling his warriors.

 

Lawrenz's innovations aside, the Legion's organisation largely confirmed to the Principia Bellicosa. The XIV spent most of their early existence divided into six Battalions. Even after the reorganisation that came with Dhul'hasa, veterans from these bodies would retain fiercely tight bonds. These would later be credited as one of the main factors in ensuring the Legion’s unity and even survival during the Insurrection. As the space marines turned all their might upon one another, the lore of both Shakletia and Dhul'hasa would be called upon.

 

-----

 

Risen

 

By the time the XIV was ready for its first deployment, the conquest of the Sol System was complete, and the Legions of the Great Crusade had begun to take shape. Their initial campaigns were fought beside the Lightning Bearers and Blood Wolves, against some of the first Ork hordes encountered by the Imperium. What can be gleaned from the fragments suggests that Lawrenz and his warriors served with distinction, finding themselves suited to this kind of warfare.

 

Their following campaigns present a Legion growing steadily into its station as a force that could meet most threats on its own. Brooding and taciturn, they were never beloved of the common man as their cousins among the IV and VII were at this time, but they earned the respect of their cousins and the Army battalions who fought alongside them for their courage and tactical nous. The XIV still took no cognomen for themselves, but came to be known among the common people as the Tempest Blades, owing to their fondness for fast attacks with tanks, gunships and massed assault companies.

 

Records of the XIV’s activities at the turn of the Crusade’s first century are sparse, but it appears that they spent several years campaigning against the vile Sykkorat xenos in collaboration with another Legion, whose identity and actions were later redacted wholesale. What sources remain speak of fleets hewn from asteroids and “bone-clad slaughterers”, and the unusually aggressive recruitment drive that ensued implies heavy losses among the XIV. Lawrenz was known to speak of the penultimate battle in that campaign as the most gruelling engagement he had ever fought.

 

The only major battle that remains documented today is the celebrated Charge of Tarados, in which Lord Commander Knyval led the armoured elements and gunships of three Chapters and two Army regiments against the alien scourge. Though few knew it, the time was fast approaching when such large, overt actions would be almost unthinkable for the Legion.

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Squig: Got a couple of questions for the monthly challenge

 

How are the Serpents organized? How large are their subdivisions? Do they fight spread across the Imperium or rather concentrated in a handful of detachments?

 

Do they make use of tank formations or are they focusing on infantry like the Raven Guard?

 

Would it be ok if I follow a more Arabic theme regarding names and the likes?

 

Thanks in advance! ^^

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Squig: Got a couple of questions for the monthly challenge

 

How are the Serpents organized? How large are their subdivisions? Do they fight spread across the Imperium or rather concentrated in a handful of detachments?

 

Do they make use of tank formations or are they focusing on infantry like the Raven Guard?

 

Would it be ok if I follow a more Arabic theme regarding names and the likes?

 

Thanks in advance! ^^

I'd say that the subdivisions of Serpents are usually around 15,000 - 20,000 if I remember correctly, fairly widely spread. Use of tanks would be limited across non Terran groups, but like blunt said in Terran groups there might well be heavier use of tanks (probably with a lot of more mobile vehicles like Sicaran).

I tend to go for Arabic names so that would definitely work.

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Great, thank you! :)

 

Last question (for now): How about the ranking system? Usual titles like captain, sergeant, etc.? Or more specific?

 

I'm looking for captain, sergeant and the leader of a subdivision.

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I know I'm a little bit late starting this month, but I thought I'd stick my oar in and try to do as I said for once :P So are there any units/characters etc. that you would like me to have a go at? From what I can see you have rules for the following:

  • Azus
  • Kalhu Nachash
  • Shamshir Raiders
  • Dursk Rassan Heavy Assault Squad
  • Djinn Stealth Squads

From what I can tell the following are currently without confirmed rules:

  • Zulfiq (I offered some ideas a while ago, but I was wildly divergent with the other ideas I offered at the same time. So I'm not certain if you wanted to use him.)
  • John Lawrenz (I would guess that he is something of a support character that gives an army buff rather than a combat character, but I'm not sure beyond that.)
  • Al'larramad Outriders (Not seen anything about these guys other than the name. I would guess they are a more combat-based outrider squad, but that is pure guesswork)

 

I also believe that you would use the Sharibalddam and Smoke Grenades as your Legion Wargear, but I'd like to confirm that. Also do you have any thoughts about the Legion's Relic? It feels like they are a more ranged legion so perhaps a sniper rifle? Or maybe something that enhances their stealth capabilities? (A deep strike that can only be used to appear in a piece of terrain, but doesn't scatter or suffer mishap for doing so?)

 

Anyway. My skills are here for your use as/how you like.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Since Squig is MIA, I'm opening both the Godslayers and the Dune Serpents to development.

 

As such, since I'm waiting on Skal's responses for both the Void Eagles and the Morning Stars, I will now turn my attention here and do an entire review of this thread. 

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Been meaning to do this for a while. Here are the notes I made while writing the DS story I never finished. Mainly fleshing out the command structure and jotting down ideas to try and build the XIVth an identifiable legion culture.

 

Jon Lawrenz Faylaqmat(legion master) Al-Awalmali(the first captain) ben Alrrabeshr(of the fourteenth).

 

Idirmali Sharri'larramadi Al-Shaba ben Alrrabeshr. Chapter Master of the Northern Horde

 

Tariqmali Afeahamra Al-Alha ben Alrrabeshr. Chapter Master of the Western Horde.

 

Kao'badismali Al-Janu ben Alrrabeshr. Chapter Master of the Southern Horde

 

Tashfimali Shifrat Al'Eazim ben Alrrabeshr. Chapter Master of the Eastern Horde(I think, based on the name, my notes didn't record what he was).

 

Yusufmali Aistiralsm Al-Sahir ben Alrrabeshr. Chief Librarian.

 

Zulfiq Faluak Al-Shamshir ben Alrrabeshr.(specialist commander?)

 

Azus Bahmat Al-Dul'Hasin ben Alrrabeshr.

 

Dead characters

Salihmali Nafasnari Al-Shaba ben Alrrabeshr. Former Chapter Master of the southern horde.

 

Names I created in case I needed them:

Kalchu Alttanmasmud Al-Nachash ben Alrrabeshr(I think this was at least).

 

Guide to XIVth legion regnal names

First name: Birth name+mali(meaning king in Dul'Hasan) on the end.

 

Second name: A name taken upon elevation to commander of a horde. Normally commemorating a great deed or something for which the legionary is known. E.g. Sharri'larramadi: he whose blade turns others to ashes.

 

Third name: Al with their units name on the end. So Al-Sahir for the librarius or Al-Shaba for the northern horde.

 

Fourth name: Is always "ben Alrrabeshr" meaning "of the fourteenth".

 

Dul'Hasan vocab. I created for this purpose:

Shaba. North.

Shabarin. Legionary of the northern horde.

Alha. West.

Alharin. Legionary of the western horde.

Janu. South.

Janurin. Legionary of the southern horde.

Eazim. East.

Eazimin. Legionary of the eastern horde.

Aist. Poison.

Aistin. Poisoner/Destroyer

Iralsm. Breath.

Afeahamra. Type of venomous snake found on Dul'Hasa.

Sahir. Librarius

Sahirin. Librarian.

Dul'Hasin. Legionary of Dul'Hasa.

Ard. Terra.

Ardin. Terran legionary.

Akharin. Legionary from a world other than Terra or Dul'Hasa.

Shutuj. Regicide/chess.

Sada. Ceremonial carpet upon which you kneel for a feast/celebration etc.

Shayash. A pipe smoked at ceremonial occasions.

Nabid. A beverage favoured by Dul'Hasan legionaries.

Hashd. Horde, the largest unit of the XIVth legion.

Alrrabeshr. The fourteenth legion.

Alrrabeshrin. A Dune Serpent.

Faylaq. Legion.

Faylaqin. Legionary.

Badis. Great.

Haj. Dagger worn on ceremonial occassions.

 

 

For what they're worth.

Edited by Sigismund229
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Is Watcher equivalent to captain?

 

I specifically read through the entire thread to determine this and couldn't find anything on it. One of the Dune Serpent captains is called Watcher, right? 

 

Is Timur going to be in charge of the largest clan of Traitor Dune Serpents or was someone else going to fulfill that role?

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By the way, does anybody know what's up with Mr. Squig? He has 2 legions and both get any love from him at the moment. Kinda sad.

 

Squig!!! Love your legions.

 

I assume he's as buried as Sig is in homework, but nothing confirmed.

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  • 2 months later...

I'm making some changes to the previous fluff around Azus' discovery.  I previously had him being discovered by Daer'dd and the Iron Bears while they pursued a fleeing xenos fleet, but I realise the Bears crop up in a lot of the origin stories including the Godslayers.  Are there any other Legions I should use in the Bears' stead, or should I use Imperial Army or at a stretch Mechanicum?  Neither are ideal given the Serpents aren't as close with the Mechanicum as I'd imagine they would be if the Mechanicum were Azus' introduction to the Imperium, and I struggle to see Azus immediately throwing his lot in with the Imperium at the urging of a mere Imperial Army commander.  Thoughts?

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If you want to go for a curveball, his own Legion perhaps? Or alternatively, Alex, Icarion or Niklaas?

 

You could go for the old canon fallback of the Emperor rocking up in disguise. I don't believe we've used that so far.

Edited by bluntblade
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