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#1
Phoebus

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This thread is for my personal Chapter, the Swords of Aldurukh, written for this year's Brotherhood of the Angels event.

The Hunt for the Fallen is a theme that is central to the Unforgiven as a whole. That having been said, I didn't want the Swords of Aldurukh to be redundant to the lore of the Dark Angels. The great shame and varying degrees of guilt the Unforgiven feel on account of Luther's betrayal are known things. The agenda these Chapters have adhered to as a result is great stuff, and the sins they have committed in the name of it makes the Dark Angels and their Successors darker, more nuanced anti-heroes. Nonetheless, I wanted to explore a different direction. A different way to walk the same path, if you will.

My intent here was to make a Chapter that was original and different while remaining true and respectful to the source material. I wanted this Chapter to be tragic and noble without being Mary Sue-ish. I wanted to pay tribute to how powerful a Chapter of the Adeptus Astartes is within the context of Warhammer 40k without making them seem overpowered - that is, without resorting to "power creep" or ignoring previous depictions of First- and Second Founding Chapters.

The ideas presented in the posts to follow are things that have been bouncing around my heretical cranium for some months now, but this competition has given me the motivation to put them down in a more structured form (and, hopefully, one that is pleasing to you, dear reader).

I invite constructive criticism and debate alike. I hope you enjoy!

ENTRY LOG:

1. Introductory piece (from the point of view of the Inquisition)
2. Initial historical investigation by Inquisitor Bastalek Grim
3. "The First Founding" and "Primus Decem" vignette.
4. "The Sword of Three Truths" vignette.
5. "The Fall of Caliban" vignette.
6. "Revelations" vignette.
7. "Debts to the Dead" vignette.
8. "Huntsmen" vignette.
9. "The Second Founding" vignette.
10. A report on the Chapter's gene-seed, by Inquisitor Bastalek Grim.
11. A report on the Chapter's recruiting practices, by Inquisitor Bastalek Grim.
12. A report on the Chapter fleet, by Inquisitor Bastalek Grim.
13. A report on the Tenth Company by Inquisitor Bastalek Grim, and a "Tenth Company" vignette.

EDIT:

Certain excerpts are presented as Inquisitorial reports on the Swords of Aldurukh (of the sort shown in Forgeworld publications). These are meant to serve as imperfect, incomplete accounts written by "outsiders" not privy to the secrets of the Chapter. Generally speaking, any lore not preceded by an Inquisitorial header is from the perspective of an "omniscient narrator" and can be considered to be as "true" as something can be in the grand sandbox that is Warhammer 40k.

I've tried to be faithful to the source material out there, without giving up my license for creativity. The works and authors I owe credit to for inspiration follow:

"A Hunt in the Dark," Angels of Darkness, "Call of the Lion," Master of Sanctity, Ravenwing, and The Unforgiven, all by Gav Thorpe.
Battlefleet Gothic
Codex: Space Marines (all of them)
Codex: Dark Angels (all of them)
"Deathwing," by William King
Descent of Angels, by Mitch Scanlon
Fallen Angels, by Mike Lee
Horus Heresy: Betrayal, by Alan Bligh
Pandorax, by C.Z. Dunn
Prince of Crows and "Savage Weapons," by Aaron Dembski-Bowden
"Reparation," by Andy Smillie
The Unremembered Empire, by Dan Abnett

Additional credit must go to Captain Semper, Grand Master Belial, Bryan Blaire, twopounder, FerociousBeast, and still other contributors at the Dark Angels forum, whose musings, theories, and ideas about the Unforgiven have expanded my own perspective on the setting.

SECOND EDIT:

As might be expected in a shared sandbox like Warhammer 40k, wherein not all authors work next to each other, there are inconsistencies to be found in the lore. I have attempted to reconcile my work with as much of the established setting as possible. One notable timeline inconsistency that could not be avoided, however, is that between Codex: Dark Angels (6th edition) and Gav Thorpe's novel, The Unforgiven. the former establishes the Second Founding as an event that occurred after the formation of the Inner Circle. The latter has Azrael state that the secret library particular to his position indicates the Second Founding occurred "several decades" before the formation of the Inner Circle. As the Codex's timeline is more suitable to my story, I have opted to use it.

Edited by Phoebus, 31 October 2016 - 08:21 AM.

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#2
Phoebus

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Intro.png

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Edited by Phoebus, 28 May 2016 - 09:03 AM.

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#3
Grand Master Belial

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I have a bad link in the third spoiler box. I wub.png  that note in the first box.


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Posted ImagePosted Image

What is the terror of death? That we die, our work incomplete. But what is the joy of life? To die, knowing our task is done.

Differences of the Successors Update Project - AoA - AoR - AoV - Cons - DoC - GotC - AoVig

Brotherhood of the Angels 2012 - 2014 - 2015 - 2016 Legends of the Angels 2015 DA - LA 2016 DA - LA


#4
Phoebus

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History%201.png

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Edited by Phoebus, 28 May 2016 - 09:04 AM.

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#5
Phoebus

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Grand Master Belial,

 

It's posting fine on my end. I'll edit and re-paste the link. If this persists, I'll just copy and paste the text. I wanted to avoid this as I'm relying on the footnotes as a flavor text, and I don't think we have that functionality on these boards.



#6
Grand Master Belial

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It's working now


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Posted ImagePosted Image

What is the terror of death? That we die, our work incomplete. But what is the joy of life? To die, knowing our task is done.

Differences of the Successors Update Project - AoA - AoR - AoV - Cons - DoC - GotC - AoVig

Brotherhood of the Angels 2012 - 2014 - 2015 - 2016 Legends of the Angels 2015 DA - LA 2016 DA - LA


#7
The_Bloody

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Great stuff!
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#8
Phoebus

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The%20First%20Founding_1.png


Edited by Phoebus, 28 May 2016 - 06:16 PM.


#9
Phoebus

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Great stuff!

Thank you, Khârn.

 

I'm sorry I haven't had the opportunity to offer thoughts on your own Chapter. I'm struggling to meet the deadline of the Brotherhood of the Angels event!


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#10
Phoebus

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#11
Phoebus

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One of the things that I'm struggling with right now is the format I want for the Chapter's history section. The fact of the matter is that this document will end up being less Index Astartes and more "Codex: Swords of Aldurukh" in terms of scope and scale. As such, I'm kind of stuck between two extremes. On the one hand, I'm reluctant to do the brief synopsis of what the Chapter did during the Great Crusade and the Horus Heresy because I feel everyone's seen that before... and it doesn't really do justice to what happened during those mythical times. On the other hand, though, I don't think anyone is really interested in pouring through half a dozen (or more) pages of historical background as would be seen in a Codex.

I think I'm going to go with a different (perhaps controversial) approach. I'm going to assume that a prospective reader is either (A) familiar with the background of the Unforgiven (what happened in the established lore and the more recently released novels) or (B ) capable of perusing Lexicanum, the Warhammer 40k Wikia website, or this page's excellent repository of fan-written articles for said information. With that in mind, I will limit historical information from those eras to short vignettes that directly pertain to the Swords of Aldurukh.

Edited by Phoebus, 29 May 2016 - 05:23 AM.


#12
Phoebus

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#13
Phoebus

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#14
Phoebus

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Edited by Phoebus, 29 May 2016 - 08:26 AM.

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#15
Legio Draconis

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I love it. Perfectly realised  fluff, balanced and believable history, kudos brother.


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QUOTE (Doghouse @ May 25 2008, 11:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You've no idea how close I came to painting the toilet gold and calling it the "golden throne" but thought that might be going too far! :lol:

QUOTE (Rafen_2 @ Jul 1 2011, 03:18 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If I was put in a dreadnought, I would like to have full maneuverability not just waddle waddle shoot waddle punch.

#16
Phoebus

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Thank you, Legio Draconis! I have a couple more background pieces to get through, and then I can start with the Chapter organization, armoury, and fleet, and finally I can knock out the description of certain formations and characters.

I might get all this knocked out before the deadline!
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#17
Phoebus

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Edited by Phoebus, 30 May 2016 - 02:54 AM.

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#18
Phoebus

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#19
Phoebus

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Edited by Phoebus, 31 May 2016 - 09:32 PM.


#20
Phoebus

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Recruitment_1.png

 

 

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Edited by Phoebus, 31 May 2016 - 09:33 PM.

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#21
The_Bloody

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Nice reruitment mode.

It surprised me, at the first moment... usually, the Astartes will look for murderous scum or psychotic killers.

This is for something completely different, while making sense.

I like it. :D



#22
Phoebus

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I didn't want the Swords' recruiting practices to make them look "better" or "nicer" than other Chapters, that's for sure! biggrin.png

 

Maybe that's something I need to clarify in the next few hours...

 

At the end of the day, the Swords of Aldurukh are a Crusading Chapter* that responds to calamitous emergencies. The worlds they respond to are, typically, in flames. They can't always go about recruiting folks in the deliciously dark way the Imperial Fists did in Space Marine. On the other hand, forcing a world on its knees to cough up orphans that have lost everything and are probably shattered psychologically and physically strikes me as a magnitude of darkness of its own. Even worse, the Swords are essentially forcing children (essentially, kids in their third year of elementary school) in that incredibly vulnerable state to undergo harrowing trials meant to weed out those not mentally or morally strong enough.

 

The unspoken implication, of course (and maybe it needs to be said), is that those who don't succeed become serfs - and that's the reward for those who impressed while failing. The majority become servitors or die.

 

* They also have a band of specters consumed with mindless rage who will only wait so long before the Swords heed their psychic call to go after the next Fallen of the Northwilds.


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#23
The_Bloody

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I didn't want the Swords' recruiting practices to make them look "better" or "nicer" than other Chapters, that's for sure! biggrin.png

 

Maybe that's something I need to clarify in the next few hours...

 

At the end of the day, the Swords of Aldurukh are a Crusading Chapter* that responds to calamitous emergencies. The worlds they respond to are, typically, in flames. They can't always go about recruiting folks in the deliciously dark way the Imperial Fists did in Space Marine. On the other hand, forcing a world on its knees to cough up orphans that have lost everything and are probably shattered psychologically and physically strikes me as a magnitude of darkness of its own. Even worse, the Swords are essentially forcing children (essentially, kids in their third year of elementary school) in that incredibly vulnerable state to undergo harrowing trials meant to weed out those not mentally or morally strong enough.

 

The unspoken implication, of course (and maybe it needs to be said), is that those who don't succeed become serfs - and that's the reward for those who impressed while failing. The majority become servitors or die.

 

* They also have a band of specters consumed with mindless rage who will only wait so long before the Swords heed their psychic call to go after the next Fallen of the Northwilds.

 

Yep, that may need some clarifyng - I got it in a "nicer" light, expecially due to the Chaplain's speech.

Maybe it was me.

 

Anyway, you shouldn't spare us those grimdark details in the picture, i believe!

They may be implied, but IMHO sometimes even the most obvious things need to be made explicit in order to create the proper suggestion in the reader. 


Edited by Kharn the Bloody, 31 May 2016 - 04:55 PM.

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#24
Bjorn Firewalker

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Your backstory for this Chapter is well-written, Phoebus.


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Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)
Sisters of Battle+ Fenrisian Beer- Inhibitions- Sanity= Trouble! (Order of the Blazing Heart Rocket Punch Pimp Magnet She-Wolf)

 

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

 

Reasons to use the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think the Librarian Dreadnought needs Furious Charge AND It Will Not Die to beat down a Chaos-worshiping punk and his Defiler, while a Stormraven needs a Vanquisher cannon to beat down this punk's Heldrake.


#25
DarKnight

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This is AMAZING work, Phoebus. I especially appreciate the fact that they only ever operate at full Chapter strength and don't break down into company formation.

 

 

I also found it amusing the only member of the Deathwatch team that chose to speak with the Magos was a Ultramarine lol


Edited by DarKnight, 31 May 2016 - 07:00 PM.

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Trial Of Blood Part I & II

Prelude To Armageddon

Black blood vomited through corrupted lips as he struggled to speak his last. "I-iron within, iron wi.." His legion's motto was cut short as Soghur ended his life with a final swing of his axe. "You know nothing of iron, traitor," spat the Iron Hand as he strode over his already forgotten enemy.

 

"I understand you might think the IX Legion a bit... overzealous with our devotion to blood. But you must understand, blood is the most valuable resource on Baal. The tribeless are left to die. Lord Sanguinius was the only surviving orphan anyone could remember who actually thrived before he was found. So you see, his blood is singular in the history of our world, and we are honored to share it with him." - Ninth Captain Demion






Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: The Second Founding, Dark Angels Successor, Unforgiven, Crusading Chapter, Fleet-based Chapter, Orbital assaults, Surgical strikes, Combined arms operations, Brotherhood of the Angels

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