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A Broken Throne - The Predators

Brotherhood of the Lost Alternate universe Fanfiction

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#526
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The Shame of the XXth
Aftter nearly a century and a half, the Legion’s self-inflicted troubles culminated in the Ulgion Rebellion, which marked their nadir during the Great Crusade. The world of Ulgion, only recently brought to Imperial Compliance, had declared open rebellion against the Imperium's rule. Due to the world's high industrial value, the XXth had not been assigned the task of suppressing this rebellion; indeed the embattled governors had made a point of requesting aid from elsewhere and had been answered. Antonidas, First Captain of the Scions Hospitalier, had brought a force of his brothers and their auxiliaries to halt the unrest.

But Kallast, then Master of the XXth Legion by dint of killing his predecessor, scorned his counterpart’s approach and vowed to show the people of Ulgion true retribution. The majority of the XXth were called together, by the only warrior who could bend them all to his will, and set loose.


Antonidas could not order his equal to desist, and what began as a surgical strike against the renegade government's palaces in the capital city rapidly degenerated into a killing spree as the XXth moved out into the wider city, with intent to eradicate the city’s inhabitants despite the end of the fighting. Spreading across Ulgion Prime, they began to slaughter all they encountered, to the extent that the preservation of the civilian population and industrial capacity of the city was put at risk.

Only when the Scions Hospitalier barred their path and demanded that the XXth stand down was the slaughter halted. A longtime critic of the XXth Legion, Antonidas had resolved to draw a line in the sand. Rather than void his oath to Pionus Santor - that the rebellion would be subdued cleanly - he ordered his warriors to bar the way into the central hab-districts, threatening violence against their cousins. But even then, the blood-bathed Legionaries of the XXth defied him.

Kallast stepped forward and challenged Antonidas, mocking the First Captain. Antonidas stood his ground and returned his counterpart's scorn. Finally Kallast demanded an honour duel - to the death. Against the protestations of his warriors, Antonidas accepted and, through his clinical self-control, bested and slew the master of the XXth. The Scions then faced down Kallast’s men over the corpse of their master, ready to execute their cousins should they not make an end to the bloodshed. After a moment of hesitation, the XXth caved in and returned to their ships. Antonidas never referred to the incident in public, regarding the act of kinslaying as a necessary but grave sin.

With the Emperor enraged by the unnecessary casualties, the loss of Ulgion's productivity and outright hostility between two Legions, the XXth Legion were summoned to the world of Concor Tertius. Detachments of Lightning Bearers and Eagle Warriors arrived to serve as witnesses and, as they embodied the twin sigils of the Emperor's authority, a symbolic rebuke to their cousins. Finally there came one other Legion whose identity is unknown, but who are spoken of in darker terms; an axe to fall should the Emperor decree it.

On the barren earth of this pitiless world, accompanied by some of their most vehement critics, the Emperor confronted His last Legion. There were many who implored Him to disband an army who wasted His resources and soiled the name of the Great Crusade. The Emperor did not take this path, but His words for the XXth were full of condemnation. With the force of His unrivalled will, the Master of Mankind had them abase themselves in the dirt of Concor Tertius. They were given a year to right themselves and prove worth of their mantle. With no obvious leader to unify them, the Legion fell to further infighting within their encampment under the appalled eyes of the Emperor’s retinue.


The Legion seemed set to end its own existence without any further assistance. Brother fought against brother, trying to gain the upper hand. Before the Emperor and his cadre of advisors could react, a voice rang out; a young captain of the XXth Legion calling for an end to the madness. His name was Cassus and he demanded an end to this madness once and for all, beating bloody any who contested his writ, but not slaying them.

Cassus spoke to his brothers of the glories they had sacrificed on the altar of misplaced pride. He raged at their folly, denouncing the wilful ignorance of how the Imperium was changing around them. The Legion’s myth of itself as unconstrained and peerless had brought them to this state. Now they must renounce their folly. With the bulk of the Legion under his control, Cassus was given a last chance by the Emperor Himself to redeem his Legion. Else the XXth Legion would be withdrawn from service, effectively going dormant until such time as their Primarch emerged to master them - and with no guarantee that its current members would be preserved for that time of renewal.

Edited by bluntblade, 23 October 2019 - 06:41 AM.

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#527
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The Penitent Crusade
Cassus led his brothers into a campaign of renewed intensity, which bordered on a self-imposed exile. The new Legion Master was unrelenting, often driving them far beyond the main front of the Crusade and always seeking out the vilest foes. Bleak ire defined the battle-brothers of the Legion in this period, their old scorn and rage turned inward and then vented upon whatever stood in their way. 
 
The campaign logs of the Ebon Blades, as Cassus had named the XXth to further their unity, testify to the Compliance of a score of human civilisations during his command, alongside the destruction of many more xenos enclaves. Few fought alongside them at this time except their serfs, bonded Mechanicum elements and a few bold or desperate Rogue Traders, and the bloody progress of the Ebon Blades is mostly known from the records of those who followed them.
 
Cassus did not intend his Legion’s suicide with these campaigns, whatever some thought or hoped at the time. The truly insurmountable enemies were bled and left for the oncoming Imperial juggernaut, as when the Ijlam xenohold was hit with repeated ambushes before a Godslayers-led assault. The teeming Orks of the Hulben Shoals were led by persistent raids into conflict with several abhuman empires, enabling the Warbringers to cleanse the Shoals of all their hostile occupants in two solar months. In this way several conquests were achieved, but the XXth held themselves apart, shirking glory, and while the Legion's numbers remained relatively stable, there was little sign of them gaining greater relevance.
 
But ultimately, this path would lead them to the beginning of another. Answering the call of a Mechanicum warp-runner, the Ebon Blades cleansed a nameless and ruined Forge World of the hideous alien Muloka. Descending into the depths of the planet towards the end of the purge, a company of Legionaries happened across a rare find: an intact siege crucible of the Mechanicum.
 
None of the occupants had survived, human enough to die from privation and cold, but the tech-priests travelling with the Legion could still extract valuable data from their fallen comrades. This was duly committed to the great trove of knowledge, and some of it shared with the Ebon Blades. Some of it interested them, like the tactical logs compiled on the Muloka and other xenos species. Other parts were overwhelmingly technical, and thus of tangential importance at best.
 
But then the reports from the cult’s long-lost fleet came to light, and something stirred in the souls of Cassus’ warriors at the name of a world identified in reconnaissance missions. A warp-runner like the one whose search had brought them here had roamed the nearby systems, seeking worlds which held raw material and technology. It had found several which showed promise, and though follow-up expeditions had never occurred, its cursory analysis of them was recorded. 
 
On one of these where the Warp ran close to the surface, in among the more mundane readings, was a single ætheric signature of peculiar potency. Even considering the clearly Warp-touched nature of the world, this was quite singular. We cannot know that if the Ebon Blades recognised its importance immediately or cross-referenced it with certain other findings, which had presaged momentous events for other Legions. Some of us, however, who can no longer shrug off the notion of destiny as superstition, imagine that the warriors of the XXth Legion felt the hand of history settle heavily upon them.
 
The news was communicated to the Legion Master at the highest priority, and upon hearing it, Cassus ordered part of the fleet to ready itself for departure and send an astropathic missive requesting the Emperor’s attention. While some remained to guard what the Explorators had named Lithia, Cassus’ ships lit their keyed their Warp drives. Several worlds had been catalogued in the ancient records, some with the suggestion of archeotech deposits, but the Legion ignored these for now and instead set course for a Feral World named Mardum.

Edited by bluntblade, 15 May 2019 - 10:51 PM.

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#528
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In the Wilds of Mardum
Mardum was one of the truest examples of a Feral World ever found, where the bones of Dark Age civilisation had been grown over by a more primal mien. Ancient hive cities reared up from desert and jungle, many of them colonised by flora and fauna. The world’s sister, Abassi, turned lifeless in the void, shattered in the Age of Strife.

The memory of what once was existed only as allegory and myth in Mardumian minds. Man had no chance to rebuild, for the tropical regions which made up so much of the landmass teemed with life, including a staggering range of predatory megafauna. With the forging of steel and the working of stone the limits of native technology, Mardumians stood among the apex predators,
ever fighting to survive. Tribe warred upon tribe, and pitted sword and spear against their rivals both human and animal.


There were those tribes who, as others remained nomadic, raised cities of stone, ruling from these and fending off the incursions of their neighbours. To one such tribe, the people of Sambedi in the southern forests, Andezo came. The comet-streak of his birthing pod was recognised as a momentous omen, and the Baron Sambedi himself sought out the fallen star. He found a child, blind but unimpeded, clearly possessed of great psychic power.

Andezo was the name given to the boy by Sambedi’s shaman, for it had impressed itself into the psyker’s mind upon seeing the young Primarch. This was reflected in the way Andezo conducted himself; his self-image appears to have been as an agent of fate as much as his own will. He served his adopted father as warrior and hunter, making the land safe for his people. At his own request he was inducted into the shaman orders which spanned Mardum, and turned his eyes to Mardum’s most insidious threat.

For the aether was ever close to the surface on Mardum, and the Neverborn slipped through the cracks occasionally to take a form of flesh and spread suffering. It was said that a single one of sufficient power could slay a tribe or bring a settlement to anarchy, and there were enclaves where no man trod, for their power was strong and their appetites ruinous. In the territories of man, only the vigilance of the shaman kept them at bay.

Andezo, the youth who saw without sight, perceived Warp entities as a stain upon his senses. Perhaps more than any other Primarch, he associated them with the same powers that had scattered the Primarchs and delivered him to this world. Whatever the truth, he deemed them his enemy without reservation, and set himself the task of freeing Mardum from their grip.

So the young Primarch submitted himself willingly to the rigours of teaching and trials at the hands of the shaman, mastering his psychic gifts even as he learned to wield sword, spear and shield. Likewise he took the fleet saurian beasts his people used for skirmishing cavalry and bred them for strength as well as speed, producing the first heavy cavalry Mardum had known.

By the time Andezo grew to adulthood he was his father’s champion and councillor, a man with a foot in the two worlds that formed Mardum. At the same time, he was undeniably something quite unprecedented on Mardum; a man with the means and will to hunt daemons.


With this goal in mind, Andezo set about imposing unity on the tribesmen of Mardum. He warred at his father’s behest, but equally he advocated trade and diplomacy, to the extent that Mardum possessed these. Often he served as ambassador; his legend was well-established at this time, and there were few in any tribe who disregarded the giant’s words as his reputation grew.

Andezo took the finest hunters and the most learned shaman from all the tribes sworn to Sambedi into the shadowed reaches. From the overgrown pinnacles of ancient hive cities to catacombs which lay beneath arid desert, his bands of chosen men and women ventured through the wilderness and confronted the nightmares of their world. No small number were sacrificed to the ravages of the neverborn, but time and again Andezo and his warbands prevailed, and something of the pall which seemed to hang over parts of Mardum was banished.

When the Ebon Blades came upon Mardum, they found a lord and sage of the wild world, who was more than ready to accept their fealty. Andezo, many suspect, had discerned some truth in the myths of Mardum’s folk being cast from the heavens, and may well have suspected the purpose of his creation. However close to the mark these suspicions are, it is certain that Andezo needed no persuading to join his father’s Crusade, and took to it with as much fervour as any of his brothers.

Edited by bluntblade, 07 September 2019 - 11:46 PM.

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#529
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The Hunting Spears
The Baron of Mardum’s education was short but comprehensive, and he readily grasped the technological might of the Imperium. Notably Andezo went without the customary return to Terra, although it is noted that he and the Emperor spent time on several subsector capitals. During this time, the XXth were recalled in full and Andezo's favoured Mardumian followers underwent the trials and dangers of Ascension. The Emperor, with the XXth’s history in mind and urged on by several of His generals, had resolved to test both the Primarch and Legion in conjunction.

Once Andezo’s education was complete, the Emperor called the Legion to His side along with the Iron Bears for a campaign on the Eastern Fringe. Imperial gene-wrights descended on Mardum to raise up a new generation of Astartes, while the Legion, Andezo at their head, followed the Emperor into war. Daer’dd in turn would prove an important influence on Andezo, teaching him many of the subtleties of generalship.

After half a decade at the side of his father and brother, Andezo was turned loose to make war independently, a sure sign of his qualities and the Legion’s own efforts to find redemption, finally bearing fruit. Where the barbarians had once roved the Galaxy, a changed army now stalked the stars, proudly bearing the varied symbols of Mardum. They were just as capable of violence, but shackled to a code of fierce honour, and tempered by a Primarch’s will.

Andezo retained aspects of what had gone before, and reintegrated elements of the Principia Bellicosa which his sons had discarded. But the most numerous and substantial changes he made were born of Mardum, not least the tribal structure he built into the Legion, where once there had been Chapters. Each Tribe maintained its own recruiting territories and developed a distinct variation on the Legion’s tactical doctrine, but were bound together at their roots by fealty to the Primarch.

Mardum was not changed actively by the Primarch after he assumed command, though development proceeded gradually by the Mardumians’ own efforts. For now, it remained a crucible which produced the warriors Andezo desired; fierce, resourceful and loyal to one another. The Legion’s infrastructure grew elsewhere in the system, while tech-priests of Hephaesta established an enclave on the fractured surface of Abassi, to delve for relics and build forges that would serve the newly renamed Predators.

Andezo’s first campaign as master of the XXth was to serve as a statement to the wider Imperium, for he elected to take his sons into battle against the Ligoram Empire. Taking a great number of auxiliary forces into the campaign, not least of them Titan maniples of the Legios Timerum and Periphet, he intended to serve notice that not only were the XXth’s days as unreliable allies done, but so were their years of penance. The Predators would now rise to take their appointed station, earning the honour that had always been meant for them.

Under Andezo’s leadership, the Predators overran the Ligoram armies in a conquest which was explosive and crushing in its violence, but with none of the massacres which some of the Legion’s old critics had expected. Aggression which had once been indiscriminate was now kept on a tight leash, and no more did the Legion waste its strength on shows of dominance. The missions of retribution were still undertaken, but alongside them were conquests in which the Predators’ worth was witnessed and testified to by their brother Legions at last. Strange and inscrutable they may have become, but their honour was evident to all.

Nowhere was this more evident than when the menace of the Rangdan arose to trouble the Galaxy for the last time. Andezo gathered almost the full strength of his Legion to meet the resurgent threat to the north, and much of the Predators’ strength was broken in the sector-spanning war. Among the dead was Cassus, killed in a desperate holding action on Rehisik Eta, but the former Legion Master went to his end vindicated. Just as the Imperium prevailed, the Predators emerged from the abyssal war battered but with their unity in no doubt.

Andezo was heralded thereafter as one of the Four Helriders, a figure who was regarded with little warmth, but growing respect by the soldiers and leaders of the Crusade. Accessible evidence of the Fourth Xenocide - that which is not sealed away - suggests that the Predators were largely withheld from the bio-pogroms which served as the Xenocides’ epilogue, and their strength quickly rebuilt and then expanded with the stock of Mardum and other worlds.

Edited by bluntblade, 16 June 2019 - 10:43 AM.

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#530
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The Predators Arisen
Further victories followed, including an important role for the Legion in the Qarith Crusade. While they were absent from the Reckoning on Qarith Prime, primarily engaged in chapter-scale xenocide operations, they won acclaim and were present in large numbers at the Triumph. This in itself was a mark of how far they had come; few could imagine the old XXth being suffered to attend such a celebration. By this time the Legion was profoundly altered, with some Terrans remaining but emphatically outnumbered by the sons of Mardum and the Predators’ other tributary worlds.

One such change which slowly crept into the Legion was the mysticism with which Mardumians continued to treat the psykers in their midst. Their Librarius changed little in substance and structure, but it was noted by others of their kin that the rationalistic dogma of the Imperial Truth was not adhered to as much as might have been desired. Also of note, and some consternation, was the willingness of Andezo and his sons to seek out and purge Warp-tainted worlds, which threatened to upset the hidden workings of the Ghost Crusade and the other campaigns waged against the Primordial Enemy.

But with the mood of the day, such things were left to one side, a matter to be dealt with when the Imperium’s total victory was closer to hand. Many foes remained, and in fighting psychically powerful foes the Predators proved almost as adept as the Pariah Legions. In particular they became among the Imperium’s finest practitioners in combatting the Weirdboy caste of Orks, destroying a number of Waaagh!s in which these volatile psykers were abundant.

The manifold hosts of the Imperial Army treated the Predators with the same mix of awe and fear that they had for the Void Eagles, but the old hatred abated. Now it was said that a soldier of the Crusade need have no fear of the Predators unless he should fail to do his duty. For the renegade and traitor, the story was entirely different; the Predators prosecuted their wars against these just as savagely as their predecessors, and from 979. M30 the number of such retribution campaigns increased markedly.

Relations with the Predators’ cousins were distinctly varied, though this constituted a great improvement. Some, such as the Scions Hospitalier and Godslayers, seemed to view them with some ambiguity, perhaps unable to decide just where they lay between barbarism and the status of worthy soldiers. Others such as the Iron Bears and Crimson Lions enjoyed an easier friendship with the Predators, while the Warbringers never lost their distaste for the XXth, a sourness that only increased after Andezo spoke at the Vizenko Prosecution.

Little evidence is left to determine the extent of Icarion’s overtures to Andezo, but it is clear that from an early stage, they were named as a force that it would be safer to destroy than try and suborn. The Predators fought free of the trap, and for much of the Insurrection their loyalty and unity were unquestionable. But the seeds which Mardum’s shadowed past left them with were slowly germinating, and in time their poisoned fruit would give rise to one of the vilest twists to the Insurrection’s tale. But that tragedy’s consequences would run far beyond the XXth Legion, and so its place is in another chronicle.


Edited by bluntblade, 15 May 2019 - 10:50 PM.

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#531
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Shame of the XXth

 

  1. " Master of the XX[th] Legion by dint"
  2. "stand down[,] was the"
  3. "that finally[,] the time"

Into the Wilds of Mardum

  • "With the forging of steel and the working of stone the limits of native technology, Mardumians were among the world’s deadliest predators but by no means dominant." [This sentence feels weird to me. The first part suggests a negative but then the next clause states how the Madrumians held their own. Perhaps revise?]
  • "they could[.] To one such"
  • "and the [N]everborn slipped through"
  • "were enclaves who no man trod" [You mean 'where'?]
  • "of the [N]everborn, but time"

 

The Hunting Spears

  •  Notably Andezo went without the customary return to Terra, although it is noted that he and the Emperor spent time on several subsector capitals while the XXth were recalled and his favoured Mardumian followers underwent the trials and dangers of Ascension." [Run-on?]

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#532
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Rectified

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#533
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[Continuining where I left off.

 

  • "of the [Principia Bellicosa] which his"
  • "the Four [Helriders], a figure"
  • Nice reference to the Fourth Xenocide without actually pinning us down.

The Predators Arisen

  • " in [c]hapter-scale xenocide operations" 
  • So, this bit about Predators excelling against Weirdboys. Are we in danger of too much overlap with the Anti-Warp legions?
  • I recommend 979.M30 be the year of Prospero. That's 5 years after the Jade General is found, who is the last Primarch to be found. And it still fits with the 'circa 970' date you used for the Prospero story.
  • Love the ending.

That's all I have on this section. When the last error is corrected, I'll submit it to Grifft.


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#534
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I don't think there's a danger of overlap - the TSons were historically used against psykers.

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#535
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Fair point.


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Legion Organisation and Structure
Prior to Andezo’s arrival at the helm, Cassus had been hard at work to rebuild the devolved structure of his Legion. Andezo took this process and steered it in a new direction, creating something steeped in the tribal structures of Mardum as well as drawing on the example of other Legions. Fourteen Tribes therefore took the place of chapters, although Andezo preserved the battalions which Cassus had revived, and squads and companies remained the essential basis of the Legion’s structure.

Each Tribe had as its focal point a Mardumian nation or Tribe which had served Andezo, and exercised their own recruitment rights along with extensive operational autonomy. Certain cultural differences would in time emerge as Terran identities were largely supplanted - though a few Tribes retained recognisable elements of this, particularly those where Cassus’ influence had been strongest. Whether Mardumian or Terran, such legacies would greatly influence each Tribe’s course.

The Chiefs who led these bodies were, however, possessed of complete authority over their warriors, for they derived it from their gene-sire. Each used it to shape his forces to his own liking, leading to striking divergences in their composition; no nominal strength or composition was mandated by Andezo. The impetuous Skyspear Tribe leaned heavily on aerial units, while the brooding Skullrippers fielded an outsized number of seeker squads and gave rise to the elite Striking Shadows.

Most powerful and renowned of these Tribes were the Ebonspear, the sons of Sambedi and Andezo's constant companions. Such elite bodies as the Avikelu Terminators and Umlizo heavy weapons specialists were present here in numbers that outnumbered their peers elsewhere. Thus the Ebonspear gives us perhaps the clearest picture of Andezo's ambitions for his sons. But the divergences served his will too: each Tribe developed so when the Primarch called them together, they would complement one another’s strengths.

The tendency towards close combat which marked the old XXth was no less prevalent now, but Andezo added to this a concentration of assault bikes which echoed the saurian heavy cavalry of Mardum. Mobility was ever a concern on his home world, and he had grasped the potential of such vehicles early on in his education, no doubt reinforced by his time fighting alongside the Iron Bears.

In contrast, the Legion’s artillery train was relatively short, a factor which made it necessary for several Tribes to request assistance from outside forces when siege warfare proved necessary. There were exceptions to this rule however in the Steel Born and Bloodhand Tribes, the former of whom were often called upon by Andezo or their brothers for this reason. Other Tribes turned to the Ordo Reductor covenants of Iyacrax and Hephaesta, who became permanent fixtures in their fleets.

Perpendicular to the Legion’s commanders was its mingled hierarchy of wise men. The Librarius, Apothecarion and nascent Chaplain order were cross-pollinated in a way that went beyond even the changes made by the Crimson Lions and Iron Bears. The Gueda, as these officers were known, served as advisers and keepers of the Legion’s lore, as well as its recruiters. The Armorium, however, stood apart from this body and was less influential. Mardumians had accorded little mystery to mundane weapons even before Andezo took to the stars, and their manufacture and upkeep was seen as a matter of simple practicality.

War Disposition
The Predators’ strength at the outbreak of the Insurrection is hard to ascertain, given their insular nature and scattered fleets, but is believed they stood in the range of 125,000-140,000, divided unevenly between their Tribes and spread across several adjacent warzones. Mardum provided the bulk of their manpower, but the serf population on Abassi also offered up recruits, and four more systems made oaths of tribute in honour of their deliverance by the Legion.

While they were willing to share campaigns with Auxilia forces, the Predators were not eager to bring them within their order of battle. Following the example of the Fire Keepers, they raised tributary armies from the worlds they controlled, who would support them on the field and often man the Legion’s war machines, thereby freeing up the Predators to wield their transhuman power to its full. Additional support was provided by bonded tech-covenants from Hephaesta, whose siege-automata counterbalanced the preponderance of close-combat Dreadnoughts in the XXth.

In terms of matériel, the Legion wanted for little. The forges established on Abassi catered to most of their needs, manifesting in a range of divergent armour patterns by which the Legion were recognised. Hephaesta and Iyacrax made up any shortfall or gaps in their arsenal, these being super-heavy tanks and artillery for the most part, while the Legion’s own forges tended towards faster and lighter tanks and speeders.

The two Forge Worlds also provided the bulk of the Legion’s fleet from the time of Andezo’s accession. This had reached its greatest recorded size by the Insurrection's beginning, having finally replaced the strength it had lost in the Qarith Crusade. Even in 030. M31, the composition of this flotilla testified to their old status as outriders, with frigates and destroyers outnumbering their capital ships by as many as seven to one. Of the Legion’s 74 known capital ships, most were strike cruisers geared towards warfare in the nomad predation pattern, sufficiently armed to destroy their chosen prey swiftly and enough to evade what they could not overcome.

Andezo’s flagship, the Baron of Death, was likewise one of the fastest of the Gloriana class, but its offensive power bespoke his intention to greatly amplify the might of his fleet. Throughout his early years of command Andezo had been seen to make deft use of the Imperial Army and Mechanicum’s behemoths in void war, enabling the Predators to engage far larger enemy fleets than previously. Nonetheless he wanted such power directly in the hands of his commanders.

The creation of the Screaming Fist and Nychas Umbral had presaged a new wave of powerful battleships and grand cruisers. Such vessels would become the new core of the fleet, a long process that was still ongoing when the Insurrection began. As with many of the Legion’s assets, these were unevenly distributed and mostly went to the most powerful Tribes like the Steel Born and Storm Claws. It is also noted that when a ship could be allocated to a Tribe before construction began, a Chief was permitted to make his preferences known, shaping the vessels to his own purposes.

Edited by bluntblade, 16 June 2019 - 10:36 AM.

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#537
simison

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[Forgot to review the first sections.]

 

Blood of the Vessorid

 

  • " their autonomy[.] A few, who had"
  • "and often complaints often went unheeded" [Remove one 'often']

Barbarians in Ceramite

  • "“spayed” V[th] and"

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#538
bluntblade

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Damn, thought I'd caught that last one.

Edit: the fixes are in.

Edited by bluntblade, 16 May 2019 - 12:47 AM.

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#539
simison

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BL Fluff Segment (12k words)

Anthology: 30% - Incomplete

FW Fluff Segment (12k words)

History: 15% - Complete

Organization: 15% - N/A

Exemplary Battles: 15% - N/A

Crunch

Legiones Astartes: 5% - N/A - (I didn't even seen an attempt for this rule)

Unique Wargear: 5% - Incomplete

Unique Units: 5%- Incomplete

Unique Characters: 5% - Incomplete

Primarch: 5% - Incomplete

 

Total - 15%

 

History section has been submitted. Enjoy the progress.


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#540
simison

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Legion Organization

  • "Thus the Ebonspear gives us perhaps the clearest picture of Andezo's ambitions for his sons, though each Tribe developed so when the Primarch wielded them together, they would complement one another’s strengths." [Run-on]
  • " The Armorium, however, stood apart from this body; Mardumians accorded little mystery to mundane weapons even before Andezo took to the stars, and their manufacture and upkeep a matter of simple practicality." [Run-on]
  • "Andezo’s [ascension], having"

 

Finally, where's the Legion Command Hierarchy?


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#541
Doctor Perils

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Non existant...

Oh wait, that's the Void Eagles :D
sml_gallery_29004_12090_3983.pnggallery_77459_13226_2824.png The War Wolves - Previously known as Lord Thørn

#542
bluntblade

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With some Legions, the hierarchy it worked into the broader Legion structure. Seemed a good move here.

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#543
simison

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Any red boxes planned?


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#544
bluntblade

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Maybe the Predators' occult agenda. I think I have an idea there, and Kel has some notes on events that would fit

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#545
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Also, where else are Cassus' regiments listed? I don't recall them being mentioned in the history section.


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#546
Kelborn

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They are the last of the old Legion, the remaining Terrans reformed into tribes along with some Mardumians. Do we need to mention them before?

Possible red boxes: Mardumian beliefs like Blunt said along with some notable engagements. Maybe one emphasizing on the different tribes and their differences, somewhat foreshadowing their future, seperate fates.

I was even considering one diving into Mardum, the close connection to the warp and such.

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#547
simison

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I'm not sure if they need a proper mention, it's just that 'regiment' is very much an Army term as opposed to an Astartes term. So, I was wondering what was going on with that. 


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#548
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Maybe battalion would suit better? Particularly with Cassus reinstating bits of the Principia.

Edited by bluntblade, 16 May 2019 - 10:05 PM.

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#549
Kelborn

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We were using the term of regiments für to the African influence of the Legion. Shaka reformed his army into regiments but I See your point.

How about using a Mardumian name which ist roughly translated as "Maw" in Gothic, for example?

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#550
simison

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That's just it though. I remember the regiment - Africa connection, but I thought Cassus predated the African influence?


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