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You know you're an Iron Hand when...

- - - - - humor Iron Hands

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142 replies to this topic

#26
Orion

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...when you use nuln oil as a skin moisturizer.

 

...when you plunge the Thanksgiving Turkey into the deep fryer while screaming, "Die, Asirnoth, die!"


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#27
Daimyo-Phaeron Lenoch

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...when you use nuln oil as a skin moisturizer.


...when you use nuln oil to grease your augmetic joints so you can move without your limbs seizing up.
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Dosjeska: But then again we are Iron Hands, we will use a hammer as a scalpel. Ace Debonair: Loyalists bow to The Emperor, Heretics bow to their Dark Gods, but everybody bows to Captain Semper. Brian Blaire: Bolted for emphasis
There are 4 boxes to use in the defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, ammo. Use in that order. -anon [][] Laus Alit Artes-Praise Nourishes the Arts
gallery_77459_13226_2824.pnggallery_4664_12529_16642.jpgDawn Blades Iron Gauntlet Daimyo-Phaeron Lenoch's Workshopgallery_26154_15777_16051.png
Dawn Blades: W/L/D: 2/9/1 wh40k 8th 0/0/0 Kill Team
Naculan Dynasty: W/L/D: 0/0/0 wh40k 8th 1/1/0 Kill Team


#28
Saint_Michael

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...when you use nuln oil as a skin moisturizer.


...when you use nuln oil to grease your augmetic joints so you can move without your limbs seizing up.

 

 

When you'd bleed nuln oil, but you feel no pain.


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#29
Machine God

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When you see the new FAQ's are up and Smash-Father can still be made with an arguement/discussion on the Relic wording.msn-wink.gif

 

https://www.warhamme...codex-live-now/

 

Edit: Added linky.


Edited by Scion of Ferrus, 20 January 2017 - 04:31 PM.

"Borg to the Max!" "Destroy All Flesh!"
 
gallery_29004_6198_9307.png sml_gallery_29004_10691_1994.png gallery_29004_10383_6245.pnggallery_48988_6285_18080.pngETL_2016_Medal_01_Custos_Fidei02.gifgallery_48988_15465_969.pnggallery_48988_15465_5172.png

 

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.

-James Nicoll


#30
Bjorn Firewalker

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...when you plunge the Thanksgiving Turkey into the deep fryer while screaming, "Die, Asirnoth, die!"


When you shout, "Suffer for your treason, Fulgrim!" at the potatoes as you hammer them (for mashed potatoes) or cut them (for French fries).
  • Freman Bloodglaive and Saint_Michael like this
Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#31
Bjorn Firewalker

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When the Black Templars and the Adepta Sororitas need to integrate ranged and melee weapons into one FUNCTIONAL weapon, they come to YOU, the Champion with the storm bolter-flamer-chainfist combination weapon.


Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#32
Saint_Michael

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...when you plunge the Thanksgiving Turkey into the deep fryer while screaming, "Die, Asirnoth, die!"


When you shout, "Suffer for your treason, Fulgrim!" at the potatoes as you hammer them (for mashed potatoes) or cut them (for French fries).

 

 

The purple potatoes specifically?

 

When you blame your missed shots on the omnissiah being appeased enough.



#33
Bjorn Firewalker

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When you blame your missed shots on the omnissiah being appeased enough.

An Iron Hand is more likely to blame enemy electronic warfare for jamming his fire control systems, and draw a melee weapon as he charges forth to bring the cowards within arm's reach.

Edited by Bjorn Firewalker, 02 February 2017 - 08:09 PM.

Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#34
Bjorn Firewalker

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Your idea of "elevator music" is an ordnance weapon's roar as it "elevates" traitors, heretics, and xenos towards the heavens- in very small pieces.

Such "music" relaxes you like nothing else.

Edited by Bjorn Firewalker, 17 February 2017 - 05:23 AM.

Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#35
Saint_Michael

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When your go to date night music isn't 40k barry white, it's just "Get in the Zone, AutoZone..."  On repeat.


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#36
Daimyo-Phaeron Lenoch

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When you see more dreadnoughts walking through your clan fortress than you do living battle-brothers.

 

When your apothecary looks more like your average-run-of-the-mill tank-grade medic than an Astartes-grade medic.

 

When you own more dreadnought models than infantry models.


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Dosjeska: But then again we are Iron Hands, we will use a hammer as a scalpel. Ace Debonair: Loyalists bow to The Emperor, Heretics bow to their Dark Gods, but everybody bows to Captain Semper. Brian Blaire: Bolted for emphasis
There are 4 boxes to use in the defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, ammo. Use in that order. -anon [][] Laus Alit Artes-Praise Nourishes the Arts
gallery_77459_13226_2824.pnggallery_4664_12529_16642.jpgDawn Blades Iron Gauntlet Daimyo-Phaeron Lenoch's Workshopgallery_26154_15777_16051.png
Dawn Blades: W/L/D: 2/9/1 wh40k 8th 0/0/0 Kill Team
Naculan Dynasty: W/L/D: 0/0/0 wh40k 8th 1/1/0 Kill Team


#37
Bjorn Firewalker

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You do not cook your meals with toaster and microwave, but with flamer and meltagun.

Said "meals" are the brains of the Imperium's enemies. Know the enemy, so you may fight them with greater efficiency.
Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#38
ChapterMasterYed

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When the lowest "toughness" on your roster is Av 12.
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#39
Memento Of Prospero

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Awesome to see my dreadnought pop up on here ;)

 

... when you have enough dead Emperor's children on your bases to make a demi company!


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The artist formerly known as Wolf_Pack


#40
Bjorn Firewalker

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When you "Bolster Defenses" by lashing the corpses of Death Guard, Emperor's Children, Iron Warriors, Night Lords, Thousand Sons, Word Bearers, World Eaters, Alpha and Black Legions Traitors to their war machines' burning wrecks, to build fortifications.

Edited by Bjorn Firewalker, 14 November 2018 - 09:59 PM.

Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#41
ChapterMasterYed

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When many witnesses attest that your boss got his head chopped off, but you are pretty sure he has just been on vacation for a few thousand years.

Edited by ChapterMasterYed, 26 March 2017 - 01:18 AM.

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#42
Saint_Michael

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When you know for a fact a dead xenos is a happy xenos.


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#43
ChapterMasterYed

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You think Peter Pan did Captain hook a favor by chopping off his hand, so he could get an old school "bionic" upgrade.
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#44
Bjorn Firewalker

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You think Peter Pan did Captain hook a favor by chopping off his hand, so he could get an old school "bionic" upgrade.

An Iron Hand undoubtedly expects Hook to have the courage to amputate his own hand, and berate the pirate for whining about how painful the experience was.

Hook's fear of the Croc is another minus- the Iron Hands fear no beast, Terran or xeno!

Not that Peter Pan will be loved. The child consorts with Warp entities (fairies) and mutants (mermaids), and he acts too much like the cowardly sons of Corax!
Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#45
40Kcollector

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When the Doctor has given up trying to convince you remove the metal pin in a bone in your body because you keep yelling "THE FLESH IS WEAK!"
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#46
Machine God

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When you notice on the new Galaxy Map that Medusa has disappeared and upon reading that deduce that its still there but there's a BIG Battle going on!


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"Borg to the Max!" "Destroy All Flesh!"
 
gallery_29004_6198_9307.png sml_gallery_29004_10691_1994.png gallery_29004_10383_6245.pnggallery_48988_6285_18080.pngETL_2016_Medal_01_Custos_Fidei02.gifgallery_48988_15465_969.pnggallery_48988_15465_5172.png

 

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.

-James Nicoll


#47
Saint_Michael

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When you're Iron Hands successor chapter does a Haka to scare the ever living F*** out of every enemy around...

This was a distraction for the tri-vindicator pie plate that just landed on their heads, and the two dreadnaughts that landed in their back yards.  


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#48
40Kcollector

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When you can only roll 1s and 2s for IH reinforcements until all the allied Imperial Guard are wiped from the table, then they come on!
And you call it the statistics of war strategy

Edited by 40Kcollector, 26 May 2017 - 12:47 PM.


#49
Bjorn Firewalker

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When your idea of a "Primaris Marine" is a Contemptor Dreadnought with reinforced armor (higher Toughness, more Wounds) and a carapace-mounted Cyclone missile launcher.

Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it IS broke- Guilliman's new toys find themselves outgunned and outfought- then Ferrus Manus' sons will be the only ones capable of fixing it.
Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#50
Bjorn Firewalker

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When the second thing you think of upon wakeup (after "How can I better serve the Emperor and Ferrus Manus?") is "What cybernetic enhancements do I require to wield this mighty weapon in battle?"

When you learn it requires you to be interred in a Dreadnought sarcophagus, you shrug and say, "The pain is a small price to pay for the glory of continued service to the Emperor." (Seriously, Eagle Prime looks like a Redemptor Dreadnought.)
Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.





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