Jump to content

Welcome to The Bolter and Chainsword
Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, post status updates, manage your profile and so much more. If you already have an account, login here - otherwise create an account for free today!
Photo

EVENT - The Schism of Mars

BotL

  • Please log in to reply
337 replies to this topic

#326
bluntblade

bluntblade

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 7,176 posts
  • Location:Herts
  • Faction: Inkspillers
Be odd not to

Mortal scrivener for the Brotherhood of the Lost project:
gallery_92945_11930_15891.jpeg

Tales of the Brotherhood


#327
Beren

Beren

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 177 posts
The decontaminators have always been there. The rest I added in earlier whilst boosting the piece to around 500 words.

Edited by Beren, 28 February 2018 - 03:37 PM.


#328
bluntblade

bluntblade

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 7,176 posts
  • Location:Herts
  • Faction: Inkspillers
Right, thoughts on the early sections. I think there's a bit too much "previously on" in the first one. The mention of Blackshields strikes me as rather premature, and in truth I'm inclined to suggest we leave the Insurgos stuff for when they pop up. I'd rather keep things immediate and the focus on Mars.

Also, given that the Schism in canon breaks out with Isstvan III, I think the buildup should start shortly before the DoR.

Mortal scrivener for the Brotherhood of the Lost project:
gallery_92945_11930_15891.jpeg

Tales of the Brotherhood


#329
Beren

Beren

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 177 posts
By premature, do you mean chronologically lore wise or for practical reasons regarding the book?

Edited by Beren, 26 February 2018 - 10:32 PM.


#330
bluntblade

bluntblade

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 7,176 posts
  • Location:Herts
  • Faction: Inkspillers
Both, really. There's a good reason Blackshields only appear from 4 onwards in the FW books. Our hypothetical reader has come to this from Book 1 eager to read about some red hot Martian action, and suddenly he's up to the eyes in a heap of other stuff.

Mortal scrivener for the Brotherhood of the Lost project:
gallery_92945_11930_15891.jpeg

Tales of the Brotherhood


#331
Beren

Beren

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 177 posts
Fair enough.

#332
bluntblade

bluntblade

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 7,176 posts
  • Location:Herts
  • Faction: Inkspillers
I'll fiddle with it tomorrow, probably chisel the DoR stuff away to the bare essentials, and see what I have then.

Mortal scrivener for the Brotherhood of the Lost project:
gallery_92945_11930_15891.jpeg

Tales of the Brotherhood


#333
bluntblade

bluntblade

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 7,176 posts
  • Location:Herts
  • Faction: Inkspillers
Finished this:

Forbidden Knowledge
For some, rebellion was a matter of opportunity. We cannot know if Artificial Intelligence had ravaged Mars directly, so depleted is the historiography of the Dark Age of Technology, but all Mankind suffered when the Men of Iron turn against their masters. Certainly Martians understand better than most the dangers of machines allowed to run amok. Certain kinds of war machine and Skitarii were devised with the express purpose of cleansing such threats from Mars, and there are catacombs where, in recent centuries, men have only ventured as visitors and plunderers, never able to reclaim the territory.

And yet hubris is a powerful thing. Few societies have been known to persist in or revive the use of AI, but the campaign rolls of the Crusade show that some did. On Mars, a few ambitious magi were suffused with confidence that their new god, their Omnissiah, would provide the insight that eluded them. The Quest for Knowledge demanded that in all areas of understanding they run faster, stretch out to grasp it. Not yet, they told themselves, but one fine day they would have mastery over the technology that had nearly destroyed their species.

The Pact of Mars brought fresh restrictions to this work. No longer prohibited only by religious edict, now the word of the Emperor Himself - the Omnissiah incarnate - forbade all such work. So too were the Moravec Vaults, full of Warp-tainted archeotech, sealed and their location withheld to keep a vast store of technology and knowledge from the hands of men.

Other sciences were forbidden, and while most on Mars were willing to leave these avenues of enquiry alone, and toil to supply the Crusade and the worlds it rendered Compliant, others refused to forget. Privately, they questioned how a man who forbade the pursuit of knowledge - of any kind - could be their divine ruler. The Omnissiah embodied perfect mastery of technology; therefore that same entity would have no reason to sequester that technology. Therefore, they decided, the being who had come to Mars with hand of iron in velvet glove was a pretender to the glory of their god, a blasphemer who had shackled the priesthood to unholy ends. This made His overthrow a sacred duty, and the works He had forbidden should be an instrument in that uprising.

Foremost among the blasphemers was Lukas Chrom, Master-Adept of Mondus Gamma. Dignitaries within and without the Mechanicum deemed him odious, but his forge’s productivity was undeniable, and Chrom himself was a master when it came to making weapons of war, especially automata. The finest of these he gifted to Kelbor-Hal as a bodyguard, and doubtless the Fabricator-General counted Chrom among his foremost lieutenants from the start of his planned subterfuge.

By Kelbor Hal’s authority, a veil of secrecy was thrown over Mondus Gamma’s deepest sanctums and forges, so opaque that none glimpsed the work within who was not loyal to Chrom or his master. Yet whispers ran in the machine-codes of Mars, carrying a single word: Raijin. Magi across the planet were left baffled as to its nature, until in the wake of the Tharsis reactor attack, all became clear.

Chrom had gifted the Traitors one of their most potent weapons in the war for Mars. A monstrous, tracked engine of ruin, the Raijin Machine was taught the rudiments of friendship with the personnel who aided in its construction before Chrom set in motion a chain of events which would force it to kill them. Whatever passes for a soul in a thinking machine was thus darkened and corroded within the Raijin. From that day on, it was one of Chrom’s deadliest weapons, and the mystery that surrounded it were of great benefit to the Insurrectionists.

Edited by bluntblade, 28 February 2018 - 08:04 PM.

Mortal scrivener for the Brotherhood of the Lost project:
gallery_92945_11930_15891.jpeg

Tales of the Brotherhood


#334
Beren

Beren

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 177 posts
Kaban Machine to Raijin Engine. Otherwise, looks good.

#335
simison

simison

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 6,500 posts
  • Location:USA
  • Faction: Halcyon Wardens, Blood Angels

I think you need to capitalise 'Compliant', but all else is good.


Project Leader of the Brotherhood of the Lost (http://www.bolterand...od-of-the-lost/)

 
The Second Son: Narrative of the BOTL Vth Legion Primarch (http://www.bolterand...-son/?p=4427636)

 

 

gallery_92945_11930_24196.png

 


#336
bluntblade

bluntblade

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 7,176 posts
  • Location:Herts
  • Faction: Inkspillers
"Soldiers, the enemy taunts us. I hear the ghost-words over the vox as clear as any of you. Even with his armies broken across the Red World, Kelbor Hal fleers at us. Against the Grand Mountain, his sermons claim, we have no hope of prevailing.

Does that daunt me? Do I hear those words and feel a pinprick of apprehension? Does it hell!

I look upon the army around me and I see more than a host of men and women and their weapons. I see a fearsome tally of victories, some of the greatest won in our Crusade. Among my kinsmen are hands that built the Ebensagab on my home world, a fortress hardier even than the one that stands before us. Here I warriors who have torn down the mightiest holdfasts of a score of civilisations. Do I not see here veterans of Kasun? Of Dresq? Qarith Prime? Stengah?

Then hear me now and know that we will smash down Kelbor Hal’s defences and take back Olympus Mons. His soldiers will be broken by our guns and ground beneath our boots. The false Fabricator General will be rendered down to cinders for his treason.

Mistake not my words for any claim that this will be easy. But then when has ease had any place in our wars? The victories we have won have always been bought with blood. If you fall upon the Grand Mountain, you will have found as glorious an end as any soldier of the Emperor has earned. You will be a martyr to Imperial unity. By your sacrifice the Arch-Traitor’s fall will be guaranteed.

Blood and victory! For the Emperor and his Warmaster, shake Olympus Mons to its roots! Onward!”


Sovereign Shamgar Arnath’s address to Escalade Force Eta
  • simison and Beren like this

Mortal scrivener for the Brotherhood of the Lost project:
gallery_92945_11930_15891.jpeg

Tales of the Brotherhood


#337
simison

simison

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 6,500 posts
  • Location:USA
  • Faction: Halcyon Wardens, Blood Angels

The Warmaster's Own and Allied Forces

 

These are the units of the Fifth Legion and banners tied to their fate, including the Knight House of Zivich and the Legio Tempestus. Initially, only a fraction of the Halcyon Wardens were present at the beginning of the Schism, soon reinforced by nearby detachments who answered the Warmaster's call for aid. Even then, the Fifth Legion enjoyed an unusual strength of force due to the presence of Alexandros VonSalim, Irvin Ruel and Prisfira Sauhan. The latter two had brought a significant core of their brigades to review the Terran recruiting regions, the planetary defenses and to add weight to the Warmaster's political efforts against the Lords of Terra's attempt to weaken the War Council. 

 

In contrast to the piecemeal arrival of Halcyon Wardens, the entirety of the Legio Tempestus units involved in the Martian Schism would see the beginning and the ending of the entire conflict. 


Project Leader of the Brotherhood of the Lost (http://www.bolterand...od-of-the-lost/)

 
The Second Son: Narrative of the BOTL Vth Legion Primarch (http://www.bolterand...-son/?p=4427636)

 

 

gallery_92945_11930_24196.png

 


#338
bluntblade

bluntblade

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 7,176 posts
  • Location:Herts
  • Faction: Inkspillers
I think each faction's summary should fit on a page with a big symbol a la the FW books, so the Halcyon Wardens stuff should be elaborated on a fair bit. Like the composition of Ruel and Sauhan's Cohorts/Chapters (I forget which one we're using). So like Ruel having a disproportionate number of heavy armour units which were key to the defence of Magma City.

Hang on, are you saying Alexandros doesn't have any Tempestus maniples summoned back? Cos that's how it sounds. Also if it's any help, we could name one of the key expeditionary maniples for the Warlord Titan Enelysia.

Be worth mentioning any Secutarii and general taghmata elements too, as Tempestus will definitely have some.

Edited by bluntblade, 16 April 2018 - 10:59 PM.

Mortal scrivener for the Brotherhood of the Lost project:
gallery_92945_11930_15891.jpeg

Tales of the Brotherhood






Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: BotL

2 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 2 guests, 0 anonymous users