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IA: The Void Vultures [Iron Gauntlet 2017]


Evz

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Index Astartes


The Void Vultures

"For the Emperor. For Sanguinius. For every last citizen we spill blood for. Dine upon their flesh! Feast upon their marrow! Let none of them survive! In the name of Sanguinius, death! Death! Let all blood fly!!" ~ Commander Donal, previous Chapter Master of the Void Vultures.

 

The Chapter known as the "Void Vultures" ("Gypaetus Astra" in High Gothic), also known as the "Vultures of Ochim", Void Vermilion, and the Eaters of the Dead are a group of berserk, cannibalistic warriors hailing from a barbaric planet. 

 

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Origins
They were once known as the Vermilion Wings Chapter. One of the 23rd Founding. The High Lords of Terra found one area of space on the Eastern Fringe to be unprotected, within the Oshim system, and under constant threat of being invaded by the Greenskins. A petition had been signed, and the creation was underway. A training cadre was created from the Red Wings Chapter, and Mars had forged them a number of ships, arms and armor to begin with. The Brother-Captain Saon, formerly of the Red Wings, was put in charge of this cadre while a larger force of Red Wings space marines led the fight into the Oshim system. Within they had discovered that the Orks were terrorizing the Imperial planets in the sector. The entire system was in chaos. From the Battle Barge Angel’s Flame, Saon sent his cadre to several worlds, alongside the large force of Red Wings space marines who had come in with their own small fleet, retaking the worlds from the Orks. The final battle against the Orks was upon the planet Callisto, where Saon did battle with the Ork warboss. The warboss was defeated within a massive desert valley in the largest battle of the campaign. Callisto, and the Oshim system had been conquered. Saon was named the first Chapter Master. The system’s local Techpriests began construction on the new Fortress Monastery on Callisto. Whilst the Fortress Monastery was being built, the newly formed Vermilion Wings used the Angel’s Flame as a base of operations.

 

After a Puritan Inquisitor had discovered that the Astartes on Callisto were engaging in cannibalistic rituals they had deemed heretical after investigating the disappearance of several Imperial nobles and governors, along with an Inquisitor, they stormed the Feudal World en-masse with a full detachment of Tempestus Scions and Astra Militarum. After several days of fighting, the Marines made a final retreat from their home, leaving its fate to the Inquisition. The barbarian and medieval inhabitants that made up the Planetary Defense Forces who fought the Inquisitorial forces using guerrilla tactics were made into a penal legion, sent out to various fronts across the galaxy. The Chapter then took on the name Void Vultures. 

 

They became renegades, running from the Imperium that they fought for, losing many along the way. They hid within the fleet of a rogue trader of the Everec Dynasty for many decades.
 

They have since reclaimed their homeworld after aiding Baal during the Tyranid incursion and participating in the Indomitus Crusade fighting the Tyranids and the forces of Chaos.

 

Home World
Callisto is a temperate Feudal World located in the Ochim Sector. The world is mostly swamps and bogs, snow-capped mountains and gnarled forests in the north and desert wastelands with a few jungles in the south. One vast ocean could be found in the northern hemisphere, inhabited by fishing communities.

 

The ancient fortress monastery of the Void Vultures was built in a wasteland full of Ork and Imperial wrecks leftover from the first engagement in the sector. The Astartes mainly recruited from the various barbarian tribes found throughout the desert region and the various mountainous regions that surrounded it.

 

Fortress Monastery
The Fortress Monastery of the Void Vultures is known as The Spire, a vast castle complex within the wasteland where they first battled the Orks on Callisto, still surrounded by wrecks and ruins. The insides are lined with the bones of dead battle-brothers.

Organization
Each company is made up of one hundred marines each, and led by a brother-captain. The first company is made of veterans and Terminators, the tenth are entirely made of neophytes, and the rest are full of a mixture of assault, devastator and tactical marines. 

Beliefs
They have embraced the fact that, even though that Astartes are by far much longer than the average human citizen, the vast majority of them die in battle. Due to their curse, they all expect to die in battle one day, and sometimes entire forces are wiped out if only to hold the line to the last man. But they pay love and respect for their fallen. Once a battle is finished, they collect their dead, and lay them out in rows, and then devour their flesh. This horrific act will give them the memories of those who have passed on, and will sometimes rarely give them a brief glimpse at the memories of Sanguinius due to their hyper-sensitive Omophagea organ. The only ones allowed to eat the body of a fallen brother are those within his own squad.

Before the body is consumed, a servitor sucks out the blood of the marine through a giant needle. This blood is put within the Pool of Remembrance. The Pool of Remembrance is a vast underwater lake within the Angel's Flame full of the blood of every dead battle brother, it is unknown what keeps the blood warm. When an initiate is first taken aboard, they must take a ritual bath for some time within the Pool, so that they may become one with their brothers before entering the chapter in-full.

Once a battle is over, and their own dead are separated from the enemy's dead, they cook and consume the flesh of their enemies in a great ritualistic feast. If a battle-brother is caught devouring a Chaos warrior, he is brought to a chaplain, who will put him out of his insane misery.


They will also transport the bones of the fallen back to the Angel's Flame, where they would be put within the Fortress Monastery to decorate the corridors lined with bones.

They see themselves as servants of the Imperium, but being renegades, they fight battles on their terms, for whatever reasons that they deem worthy.

Combat Doctrine
The Void Vultures fight with a tendency towards aggressive assault actions using mobile forces, along with guerrilla warfare and surprise attacks. They make a heavy usage of scout squads to do recon after making landfall and use little in the way of vehicles. 

 

 

Recruitment
The Void Vultures recruit from the various tribal and feudal societies on their homeworld of Callisto. Those who do not pass the requirements for joining generally help the Chapter as serfs.

 

Gene-seed
They have a hypersensitive Omophagea organ. This, mixed with the Red Thirst, makes them bloodthirsty killing machines on the battlefield. They will stop at nothing to get as close to the enemy as possible, and rip their hearts out and, if possible, devour it in front of their enemy. After a battle is done, they will build a camp and cook their enemies, then dine upon their flesh. Usually this is done in secret. This flaw appeared not long after they were created. Even in the earliest days of the Oshim campaign, the newly-made marines were found tearing off their helmets and ripping into grots after a victory and devouring them raw, along with eating anything that died, civilians, battle-brothers, and enemies. This was first thought to have been just the Red Thirst, but Sanguinary Priests of the chapter have discovered otherwise. Within months they had learned to control themselves to an extent. Regardless, whereas the Blood Angels are noble warriors, the Void Vultures are vicious monsters in comparison.

Battle-cry
”Let all blood fly!”

 

Edited by Evz
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This is very good work. It's focused, it's true to character. You just have to fix the completely disorganized structure, and also it seems completely crazy.

 

There are some parts that I plain like to read. "If it is a Hive World, they seek out the gangs of the under-hives, taking in the youthful with promises aiding the Imperium." It is an active sentence that makes its point and then it moves on right away.

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  • 3 weeks later...

It was kinda rushed to be honest Yeah, I'll go back and fix it up a bit. Thank you. Kind of thinking of trimming the origins, but not sure what to trim exactly.

Edited by Evz
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Wow, I can see one of these guys getting their Eviscerator caught in an Astarte's or Ork. He can't pull it out, so he screams until his third lung burst LET ALL BLOOD FLY! and revs the giant Chainswords motor until it's a freaking charnel house. Yes, that is proper nasty right there. Kudo's on you, good sir!

Hats off to you for saying f*ck the Imperium and raiding their depots. I'd wager since that little scuffle with the Inquisitior, they found the little weasel and LET ALL BLOOD FLY! Mmm, it's so berserker so shout aloud. I wonder if my neighbors hear me shouting to myself at night?

My only real guff is... The Codex Astarte's. You don't need to throw it out the window and it still remains a literal tome of War. It's a nice guide line. Otherwise, your Chapter might spiral into a rugged warband of cannibalistic fetish enthusiasts. Don't throw the whole thing out but at least keep a few choices pages. 

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Wow, I can see one of these guys getting their Eviscerator caught in an Astarte's or Ork. He can't pull it out, so he screams until his third lung burst LET ALL BLOOD FLY! and revs the giant Chainswords motor until it's a freaking charnel house. Yes, that is proper nasty right there. Kudo's on you, good sir!

Hats off to you for saying f*ck the Imperium and raiding their depots. I'd wager since that little scuffle with the Inquisitior, they found the little weasel and LET ALL BLOOD FLY! Mmm, it's so berserker so shout aloud. I wonder if my neighbors hear me shouting to myself at night?

My only real guff is... The Codex Astarte's. You don't need to throw it out the window and it still remains a literal tome of War. It's a nice guide line. Otherwise, your Chapter might spiral into a rugged warband of cannibalistic fetish enthusiasts. Don't throw the whole thing out but at least keep a few choices pages.

 

Pretty much this :) I love the idea of tbe barely controlled aggression. Great start so far

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First of all, like the others stated, your chapter really has character:biggrin.:

But you might want to clear some things out:

 

 

 

 

Donal hardly left his chambers when the Chapter was out of a warzone. He struggled with his beliefs. There were rumors throughout the fleet that has adopted the Chapter that some marines have turned to the Dark Gods. It was discovered, months after departing Callisto that Donal had turned to Khorne, and he led a strike team of several veterans against an Agri World the fleet was passing over. The rest of the Chapter, along with the Rogue Trader's personal soldiers landed to find the immediate area desecrated. They found Donal's corpse hung upon a tree, a Daemon Prince laughing maniacally over him as the former Chapter Master's body warped into that of a Chaos Spawn.

 

Why lead Donals depression to Khorneworshipping? For me it sounds strange, that someone who is like "what should i do/what have i done?" turns to "SLAUGTHER THEM!" in few months.

Also you might want to introduce the Rogue Trader before this paragraph, because if you read it, you will ask why a Rogue Trader landed with Astartes to search for their leader. And while we are here with Fritz Everec, why does he need protection from the Inquisition? What did he do that he is so desperate to make a deal with renegades? That could be a cool backgroudstory too!

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First of all, like the others stated, your chapter really has character:biggrin.:

But you might want to clear some things out:

 

 

 

 

Donal hardly left his chambers when the Chapter was out of a warzone. He struggled with his beliefs. There were rumors throughout the fleet that has adopted the Chapter that some marines have turned to the Dark Gods. It was discovered, months after departing Callisto that Donal had turned to Khorne, and he led a strike team of several veterans against an Agri World the fleet was passing over. The rest of the Chapter, along with the Rogue Trader's personal soldiers landed to find the immediate area desecrated. They found Donal's corpse hung upon a tree, a Daemon Prince laughing maniacally over him as the former Chapter Master's body warped into that of a Chaos Spawn.

 

Why lead Donals depression to Khorneworshipping? For me it sounds strange, that someone who is like "what should i do/what have i done?" turns to "SLAUGTHER THEM!" in few months.

Also you might want to introduce the Rogue Trader before this paragraph, because if you read it, you will ask why a Rogue Trader landed with Astartes to search for their leader. And while we are here with Fritz Everec, why does he need protection from the Inquisition? What did he do that he is so desperate to make a deal with renegades? That could be a cool backgroudstory too!

 

Thanks for the input matey! Will get to beating out them kinks. I was gonna go into the Khorneworship more in the story I was gonna write for the gauntlet too.

 

As for Fritz, he honestly just wants (the broken remnants of) an Astartes chapter backing him up on his adventures (and misadventures). I just wanted to figure out a way to get a company of marines to serve alongside a Rogue Trader as it was in 1e.

Edited by Evz
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Hmm... Have you thought of having your Marines adopt a more human approach, say ditching the Power Armor and wearing Carapace armor, instead? They don't have to always ditch it but it's a sure give away they're Astarte's.

There's oodles and oodles of genetically modified humanoids throughout the galaxy (Probably bulked out for slave labor). Perhaps your Astarte's could adopt the guise they're the Rogue Traders escorts, entourage, homies, that weird thing. Wouldn't be out of the ordinary for a rather rich Rogue Trader to show off what his good fortunes provide in security... Giant dudes in carapace with plasma rifles. Seems legit to me.

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Hi Evz,

A pretty good start to the article, keeping a good theme flowing throughout which is always good :) What's more, the formatting isn't bad which is nice :)

I'll still make a couple of remarks, in a hope of being constructive criticism - I haven't read any of the other comments, so don't be surprised if I repeat or disagree with others:

  1. I must admit, I'm not a fan of the name, as it doesn't conform to chapter name conventions (1 descriptive + 1 noun) - I'd recommend replacing one of your descriptives (vermillion or void, your choice) with a noun: "wings" works with your first chapter, though I'd recommend using something else here - either a warrior/nobility title (Lords, Masters, Warriors etc.), or an animal (Wolves, Lions, Tigers etc.) or something else entirely. Have a look at Lexicanum or the Wikia to get other examples :)
  2. I like the little banner/quote, and your placing of the colour scheme right at the beginning, though I'd also like to see a sketch of the chapter emblem presented here too (I read later that they don't wear an emblem on their shoulder pads - I'll speak about this later). You may want to give the "default" colour to the titles, as they aren't visible on the phone
  3. About the colour scheme: here's a rare one, but I think you need more colour variation - a third colour for details (that you may see on the Imperialis on the chest, or the shoulder pad trims), another colour for the eyes, etc. I do like how simple and effective the scheme is however, so don't go overboard.
  4. Give a "cheatsheet" of the important information about the chapter, like the geneseed, founding (or date of rupture with their old identity), prefered battle doctrine etc.
  5. Give a short introduction about what the chapter is about, as it helps the reader to understand the greater lines of the article without having to jump into the deep end too fast.
  6. When starting the Origins section, give a date to the main events, as it's difficult to know when all this is happening. Give an estimation of the numbers of the chapter at the time of their escape as well.
  7. This one is going to be important: Why is the chapter's cannibalism considered heretical? After all, the Emperor obviously meant marines to eat flesh or he wouldn't have created the Omophagea. How does the Inquisitor justify the chapter's excomunication? Perhaps it turns out the Inquisitor himself will be declared Excommunicate in the future, putting into question whether the chapter remains renegade or not? (This explanation has to be made clear without having to read the other article)
  8. What is the name of the Rogue Trader dynasty (you need to give this name in the origins section) - since it seems rather integral to the chapter's history, giving them an identity would be interesting.
  9. How did the Chapter meet up with the Rogue Traders? Also, though it's interesting that the chapter is taking it's new shape at the trailing end of the millenium, I'd try and make it slightly earlier, so as to not end up having problems with the official fluff that is currently being developped (so ~750.M41 rather then 999.M41)
  10. I think the worship of the dark gods comes in a bit too rapidly (within the space of a single sentence) - perhaps give a few more warning signs before hand :) Also, if Donal has fallen to Khorne, why does he not attempt to corrupt the rest of his chapter?
  11. The moustache twirling Daemon laughing over the mutated corpse of Donal is a bit weird, it seems like an unnecessary detail that will make most Chaos players cringe inwardly - too cartoonish, not enough horror. Given that this Daemon prince corrupts their leader and destroys him, he will probably become a hated arch-enemy of the chapter, so I'd also give him an identity. You can give him a bit more history right from the time of the Vermillion wings, but he can also be an entirely new enemy, that's up to you
  12. The detail of how long the battle against the traitors lasted, and how they retreated with the armour isn't really necessary, and sounds mostly like a defeat for them. If you really want to keep it, state their objectives beforehand; I'd also give a bit more info about Donal's armour, to explain why it is so important to retrieve it
  13. How did the 4th captain take control of the chapter? an election, nominated by Donal before his death, coup... ? Many options out there, but it would be best to explain a bit more.
  14. What may have changed since the new chapter master took over, and since part of the chapter turned to chaos?
  15. What are the chapter's objective? What are the Rogue Trader's objective? How do these objectives mesh or clash? How well is the chapter integrated into the Rogue Trader fleet? How does the chapter feel about having to give up part of its sovereignty to the Rogue Trader? How does the chapter interact with the Rogue Trader's forces?
  16. How does the chapter plan on recruiting new neophytes?
  17. Since the chapter has suffered heavy losses and their remaining companies still have 100 marines, how many companies are left?
  18. Why no Devastators? Heavy Weapons are incredibly important in the 41st Millenium, and when performing boarding actions (which is rather common for a fleet-based army) tanks and dreadnoughts are a bit complicated to use sometimes
  19. If some officers see themselves as mercenaries, how are they paid? How do they go to their missions? Do they use capital ships to go there? Escort ships? Does it vary depending on the kind of officer?
  20. WIth the lack of Techmarines and extant Adeptus Mechanicus support (since having been declared Excommunicate Traitoris), how does the chapter repair wargear and create new wargear?
  21. I find the theme of eating fallen battle brothers out of respect for the fallen quite an interesting one - I'd however replace the term "devour" which sounds quite barbaric with something with more pomp and ritual
  22. The Pool of Remembrance could easily be given a theme of "baptism in blood" - Blood Angels and successors already have a very christian theme, so it's your choice whether to take that step further or not...
  23. The term "Necrontyr" is reserved to the mortal beings that would one day become the "Necrons". Tyranids may also be one of those that the chapter shouldn't consume, because notably of acid blood and a completely alien mindset (or minds-set considering the hive mind?)
  24. You repeat the thing about a fallen's bones being added to the chapter's flagship
  25. Mention what kinds of planets they stop at for recruitment, and how many aspirants they take. Add a line about this in the origins section
  26. Your geneseed section sounds like every battle brother actually has both the black rage and the red thirst, so you may want to change that a bit
  27. How is their Omophagea overactive? I can't find a description of that in the article

Good luck, and enjoy the Iron Gauntlet :)

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Thank you! Yeah, without criticism one can't possibly get better haha. I'll work on it! I didn't even notice I had repeated the bones bit. 

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the newly-made marines were found tearing off their helmets and ripping into grots after a victory and devouring them raw

 

 

Now I could be wrong, but aren't grots and greenskins basically a fungus? Wouldn't eating them a) give even a marine a pretty bad stomach ache, and B) not really satisfy the cannibalistic urges of the marines?

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the newly-made marines were found tearing off their helmets and ripping into grots after a victory and devouring them raw

 

 

Now I could be wrong, but aren't grots and greenskins basically a fungus? Wouldn't eating them a) give even a marine a pretty bad stomach ache, and :cool.: not really satisfy the cannibalistic urges of the marines?

 

 

TRUE. Though, I'm not sure to be honest. There might be meat somewhere within the confines of the inferior Orkoid species. :P

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I think it might be a good idea to clarify what their loyalties are and such, even if it's still in a state of conflict amongst the chapter (If it can still be called that in it's current state being on the run and such). Are they just trying to survive and live to the next day and just keep it coming or do they still see themselves as servants of the Emperor and they're trying to redeem themselves in His eyes? There's a brief mention of giving recruits promises of aiding the Imperium but outside of that remark I've seen nothing to clarify it. It would be interesting seeing a chapter in the stages of starting to splinter and haven't quite hit that point yet where they split up into different groups.

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  • 1 month later...

Firstly: I really like the idea of the Pool of Rememberance idea, and the Rememberance Baths. I have never seen anything like that and I think will stick in my head as the main defining feature of the Void Vultures in my head. Have you considered a special guard-type unit for it, perhaps the honor guard, because this is such a sacred space to the chapter?

 

When it comes to battlefield doctrine, are the light vehicles land speeders? Given the chapter's name it would make sense if they circled their target from the air when they're getting ready to close for the kill. Would fit the theme and be rather ominous.

 

I do question the symbol, though. What is the reasoning behind a wing and a fang? Is there something in the chapter's past that would be part of that? If there isn't anything that could justify it, and you aren't particularly attached to it, perhaps doing something like the Blood Ravens symbol, but with a vulture instead of a raven and blood dripping from the wings? (Though that may be me attempting to impose upon your own stuff-feel free to ignore the suggestion, and tell me violently.)

 

With the bones, perhaps they might scrimshaw the legends of the warriors who the bones belonged to, as another way of keeping their memory and legacy alive? (Scrimshaw, if you don't know, is the practice of adorning bone and material like it with carvings. It has tended to be whalebone, but might make keeping the bones more significant to the chapter.)

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OK, so it'll be hard to work up a C&C worth anything after Thorn's in depth critique lol, but here goes...

 

Besides echoing a number of Thorn's points, What is the Chapter's relation to their founding Chapter? Do the Vultures avoid interaction with other Astartes?

 

Is the Inquisition actively hunting the Void Vultures? How do they avoid detection by Imperial authorities whenever they enter Imperial territory?

 

How does the Rogue Trader Fleet explain the presence of a Battle Barge in their fleet?

 

Given the Gene-seed curse of the Blood Angels Legion, how do the Void Vultures avoid having entire swaths of their numbers falling to the Black Rage?

 

I love the literal blood bath idea, btw.

 

All in all, sounds very interesting, keep it up!

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I like it but I do have a few criticisms.

1) There's a marine, there's a Berserker, and then there's these guys. I would think they would have a lot more problems with Khorne or perhaps He Who Shall Not Be Named between the cannibalism (which doesn't apply to non-Astartes or humans BTW), blood baptism, and none keeping.

2) Speaking of Malal, on my first read through, my first thought was a Sons of Malice reskin. There's a lot of things that are different, but a lot of things are the same..

3) You might want to change up the color scheme. It currently looks really flat, and similar to Heresy Era Word Bearers. Maybe add a few metallics.

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I enjoy what you have written thus far. You follow the theme of your Chapter quite nicely. It's not mis-jointed. There are only two things I would suggest: 1. Organise the IA into Sections as outlined in the IA guide, it will make reading your IA easier and easier to find what we want to know about the chapter. 2. the Cannibalism thing as others have mentioned would probably be seen as heretic, perhaps change it so it elludes to it but not out-right reveal it. I do think your color scheme is nice and simple. As most images from the SM Painter are quite flat, won't know how it will turn out until we see it painted. Anyways, good luck to you on completing this.

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Firstly: I really like the idea of the Pool of Rememberance idea, and the Rememberance Baths. I have never seen anything like that and I think will stick in my head as the main defining feature of the Void Vultures in my head. Have you considered a special guard-type unit for it, perhaps the honor guard, because this is such a sacred space to the chapter?

 

When it comes to battlefield doctrine, are the light vehicles land speeders? Given the chapter's name it would make sense if they circled their target from the air when they're getting ready to close for the kill. Would fit the theme and be rather ominous.

 

I do question the symbol, though. What is the reasoning behind a wing and a fang? Is there something in the chapter's past that would be part of that? If there isn't anything that could justify it, and you aren't particularly attached to it, perhaps doing something like the Blood Ravens symbol, but with a vulture instead of a raven and blood dripping from the wings? (Though that may be me attempting to impose upon your own stuff-feel free to ignore the suggestion, and tell me violently.)

 

With the bones, perhaps they might scrimshaw the legends of the warriors who the bones belonged to, as another way of keeping their memory and legacy alive? (Scrimshaw, if you don't know, is the practice of adorning bone and material like it with carvings. It has tended to be whalebone, but might make keeping the bones more significant to the chapter.)

 

I agree.  I love the Pool of Remembrance and will echo the idea of a Special Honour Guard.  

 

I think you have a great Chapter here Evz.  I think they fit in the universe but are still unique.  I really like what I am reading here.

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One thing that struck me the moment i opened your IA was that in your colour scheme you have mainly red armor and red eyes. Have you chosen these colours purposely so that the eyes blend to the armor?

 

While you have good amount of text, i'd suggest you split the text in to different sections, such as combat doctrine, beliefs and so on.

 

Has the Inquizition said anything about their gruesome practises of eating their enemies (even traitors and other heretics)? For example chapter that would later form in to the Sons of Malice warband was attacked by a inquizitor after witnessing their cannibalistic practises.

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I think the colour scheme would benefit from something, even if it's just a contrasting colour for the eye lenses and maybe something to pick out the aquila on the chest. 

 

Cannibalism - it's a bit of a weird one. As mentioned already, Astartes consuming the flesh of enemies is in itself not exceptional at all; it's a built-in aspect of their physiology and mechanism for obtaining information, and sometimes the nature of the conflict (suppressing rogue Planetary Governers and PDFs, for example) would make this action "cannibalistic", as it would be against other humans. So what about their practices makes it heretical? Is it purely that they feed on Imperial-aligned, law-abiding citizens, rather than enemies of the Imperium?

 

Is there a basis for this habit somewhere in the chapter's history? An old ritual of their homeworld perhaps? Or just the gene-flaw of Sanguinius taken to the next level?

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I agree with Halandaar. Just a tiny change to your cholor scheme in terms of variety. Maybe yellow or green eye lenses and a bonewhite Aquila?

 

Regarding the cannibalism; what keeps them safe from being declared heretical?

The Wrath, a Khorne Daeminkin warband, devours everything from their prey. You're walking on a thin line with this.

Khorne might have an eye on these renegades.

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I Want to know how the chapter coped with the Chapter Master becoming a chaos spawn and how others weren't corrupted as well? Also I do think the red eye lenses with red armor is unique but perhaps a bright orange could work well just so you can see a distinct lens. Good Luck!

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So one of the major issues with developing any DIY Chapter but particularly Renegades or Traitors is developing a solid origin that takes them up to where they are now.  The main issue in this always lies in the fact that with Traitors and Renegades you are essentially developing two Chapters, Pre and Post fall.  These articles are either made or broken by their origin section and its ability to properly suspend our disbelief on how the Chapter turned.  I say this because I feel you need to expand your origins to help show us who these guys were when they were the Vermillion Wings and why they abandoned so much of what makes a marine who they are to become the Void Vultures.  I am certain you can do this as you have a very good start with what you have and I imagine as the challenges progress you can work these guys up and out to make a fully fleshed out and awesome group of renegades.

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  • 3 months later...

I've been gone for a bit and took a tiny break from working on my little red dudes. My mom's unfortunately been diagnosed with cancer, and we've been scrambling the past few months as a family to try and work our way through this. It's not going well at all. But at least I have my hobbies to turn to in these dark times.

 

So post-8th drop I've decided to go back and rework their fluff a bit. After turning to renegades, and spending decades on the run, they went to help out at Baal. Afterwards, joining the Indomitus Crusade as sort of a penance sort of thing. In return, they would be given their homeworld back. 

 

I've decided in the past couple days just to think up on expanding the fluff of their homeworld a bit more now that they've finally returned home. 

 

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The region surrounding the Void Vulture’s Fortress Monastery, The Spire, is a desolate wasteland full of the debris left over from the first conflict with the Orks in the sector of Ochim. The entire wasteland itself is a scar upon the feudal world of Callisto. The Spire itself, a vast black castle of skyscraping towers covered in the bones of battle-brothers long dead can be seen from miles all around. There is also an Inquisition headquarters located within its highest towers.

 

To the north of the Spire is Sanguigarde, one of the first human settlements when the natives first met the Red Wings chapter of Space Marines who had come to liberate them, before becoming the Vermilion Wings chapter (and later Void Vultures). The city is built within an immense tower, half as tall as the Spire and is ruled by barbaric nobles. This is the most civilized city in the region.

 

Vorna is made up of techno-savages and are one of the main villages that the Void Vultures recruit from, usually becoming techmarines. They make their living trading scrap salvaged from the desert with the various other tribes and tend to use a lot of salvaged Ork and Imperial vehicles to get around in.

 

Darkblade is a violent tribe of brutes. Not only do these beasts among men usually become prime recruitment material for the Astartes due to their skill at arms, but they are also abducted in border skirmishes by the men of Sanguigarde to fight in their arenas, a popular sport upon Callisto.

 

Gimheim is a group of fishermen. They are a colony, settled by the Vrokheimers from across the sea. Vast palisades keep out the warring tribes. The Gimheimers make use of archaic weaponry, such as crossbows, longswords and pikes, but are most famous across their kingdom for their use of blackpowder weaponry. Only the nobility are allowed to carry Holy boltguns.

Edited by Evz
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