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[Index Astartes] - The Knights Penitent (The Iron Gauntlet)


Dizzyeye01

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Alright, so as anyone looking over the Iron Gauntlet thread would notice is that I've taken up the challenges offered and will try to actually succeed in them! I have failed a few times in the past with certain activities so for this I'm going to be putting in as much effort as possible and trying to achieve the very best with golds all around. Enough talk though. Below is my current notes of the Iron Angels. I've spoilered two sections of the history since they are on the larger side of things and go into more detail of the events that effect the chapter however they will be fully expanded on (likely being used for later in the Iron Gauntlet itself too).
 
Foreword: The goal I'm going towards is a fleet-based chapter who's main goal and specialty is hunting down those who have turned away from the Imperium and burning away their heresy in fire similar to how the Ashen Circle operated back in the Horus Heresy. Along with this, I want them to be tied to the Inquisition in a similar way that the Red Hunters are due to past actions and their founding (aka their part in the Nova Terra Interregnum which will be hinted at and explored more through stories and such.) This meaning that happen where single squads or more are sent off to assist inquisitors in certain matters. They'd operate in a similar way to the Black Templars in that they leave behind outposts on some worlds which have potential while they crusade.
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17/3/2017 - Thread created, notes listed
20/3/2017 - Ideas crossed off the list/ put into consideration.
24/3/2017 - Homeworld history written up.
29/3/2017 - OP changed, notes moved into section of it's own with format of OP changed.
31/3/2017 - Notes adjusted, ideas removed and added, Foreword added
4/4/2017 - Name changed, notes adjusted. 


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THE KNIGHTS PENITENT
http://i.imgur.com/jNpYy1e.png CHAPTER NAME: .............. THE KNIGHTS PENITENT
FOUNDING: ..................ACCESS DENIED; DATA LOCKED BY ORDER OF THE HIGH LORDS OF TERRA.
CHAPTER WORLD: .............<<CRUSADING CHAPTER>>
FORTRESS MONASTERY: ........PILLAR OF REDEMPTION
GENE-SEED (PREDECESSOR): ...UNKNOWN (RUMOURED DARK ANGELS/IRON HANDS POSSIBLE)
KNOWN DESCENDANTS: .........<<ANY KNOWN, CLAIMED, OR SUSPECTED CHAPTERS CREATED FROM THE GENE-SEED OF THIS CHAPTER, OR "NONE">>







"From this day forward, we shall pledge ourselves once more to the Imperium and the Emperor and do our best to gain salvation"
-Unknown, M36


Origins of the Knights Penitent

The (Blank) Cluster
While Siderus is the closest the Knights’ Penitent have to what could be considered a home, in truth for them it is merely a rallying point to fall back onto for reinforcements and armaments. Siderus is only one of many worlds held within the [blank] Cluster, an area of unexplored space held in the Segmentus Pacificus that the humble Knights’ Penitent along with other forces in the Imperium have been working in. While at first thought to be nothing more than dangerous space, it was realised by during the Great Scouring that the Cluster was indeed a goldmine of minerals and treasures being used by foul xenos and renegade empires to strike out at both themselves and the Holy Imperium in large.

So far, a foothold has been established within the Cluster and while there has been efforts made to expand this foothold, these attempts have lasted only for a limited time. Reasons range from threats from within to threats pounding on the walls trying to remove the Imperium. Pirates, bandits, these hated threats and more oppose the efforts of exploration and enlightenment. It is a constant battle for survival for the resources hidden away deep in the Cluster. It is with these same resources that both xenos and impure empires are built and ruined and it is for that reason why the Imperium now sends it’s finest in the hopes of strengthening itself in the coming battles.

What is curious is that from surviving records from Mechanicus explorer teams is that there is ruined structures dotted throughout some worlds in the Cluster that bear resemblances to structures found within the Imperium. The purpose of these facilities are lost and none so far have been able to wager what they are beyond theoretical ideas. Some believe that a former chapter used to call the Cluster home while others’ believe that they were merely listening posts used to collect information to be later sent away or to alert of a new threat. Whatever their purpose, the main concern for the local Imperial forces is expanding their areas of operation within the Cluster and harvesting the resources inside along with enlightening the human colonies found of the God-Emperors’ grace and providing them with His Grace.

-Inquisitor Sarine of the Ordo Hereticus, M41
“Fire is the only true tool for it shows a mans’ purity and corruption.”

 

Sworn to oaths for Terra and the Imperium as a whole, the Knights’ Penitent are a duty-bound chapter whose earliest records have them acting just after the Age of Apostasy in the 36th millennium, delivering justice to worlds previously lost to chaos and madness in Segmentum. |With details of their Founding and Geneseed are locked away by the orders of the High Lords, it is hard to see the beginning of the Knights Penitent however the earliest records mention an event called the Reforging. The name suggests that the chapter had undergone heavy casualties during the Age of Apostasy and so a great wave of recruits were taken from conquered planets though details are kept close to the marines within the chapter.

 

Some whisper that the chapter itself had recently completed a Penitent Crusade ordered by the Inquisition for standing defiant themselves and fighting what they saw as injustice in the Imperium itself. Others say they are little more than the lapdogs of Inquisitors, killing the guilty and innocent without question or thought or trial. Some have even go to cry that the Knights’ themselves denounced that the Emperor is not divine and that those who believe so should be executed for their ‘disillusions’.To mention these to the face of a member of the chapter for that matter is to invite anger and pain.

 

Even with these rumours about, it can not be doubted that the Knights’ Penitent are loyal to the cause and that they would see their enemies be little more than ash beneath their boots. World's believing themselves to be better without the so called ‘restraints’ of the Imperium soon realise the error of their ways when the Knights’ strike; burning the corruption away with fire and pain along with seeing their history and icons be torn down with ruthless efficiency. To the Knights, there is only the cause of the Imperium and to act on the gains of the individual is to invite madness and damnation into their lives. Each Knight seeks to prove himself in the eyes of the chapter and thus show that the gift of their geneseed and being turned into a space marine was not wasted on them, even if that means suffering the worst that is thrown at them by the xenos and renegades who seek to stop them. 

 

Organization

 

http://i.imgur.com/txIcelA.png

Chapter Symbol

Like many chapters’ within the light of the Imperium, the Knights’ Penitent follows the Codex Astartes closely, abiding with remaining at one thousand strong along with being separated into battle companies and reserve companies. Due to how spread out the companies can get during times of war, the 1st company is usually spread out across to the other companies or assisting the Inquisition with matters that require their aid. The 10th company are also splintered out across the chapter fleet although they are usually not attached to any singular company. Instead, they are usually sent away in kill teams, sent out to investigate and gather intelligence for chapter command to make the best move forward for the fleet. This in term as earned the company the name of The Cartographers.

 

With the heraldry used by the Knights' Penitent, their main colour is storm grey with other colours being used to represent their company. These company designations can be seen on their knee pads and shoulder pads with the numerals of their squad being shown on their left kneepad while the right shows what formation the squad is in. To give an example, members of the 3rd Company are known for using orange on their armour with their heraldy being shown on their right shoulder pad while a member of the 5th tactical squad is seen by the V on his left kneepad while the arrow issued by the Codex Astartes can be seen on the right. The exception to this rule is the 10th Company who bear no secondary colour however still conform to the rest of the chapter as the Codex Astartes dictates. An interesting note to make is that if a sqaud is serving under the command of an Inquisitor for a select time, they replace their right shoulder pad which usually holds the company heraldry with a silver shoulder pad bearing the symbol of the Inquisition.

Along with this, it should be noted that there is a higher number of chaplains serving within the Reclusiam. Known within the chapter as ‘Wardens’, they are usually attached to a company not only for their usual duties seen within the chapter but also to act as disciplinary officers and the bringers of justice. If a dispute is raised then it is the Warden that will weigh in and give the final say, handing out punishments if needed. Finally, it should be noted that the Warden seems to have a greater influence within the ranks of the chapter, ranging from whether a recruit is spiritually ready for the hardships of a space marine to who the next chapter master should become. While they do not have the final say on a matter, it would be a great fool to ignore their word entirely.

In contrast to the Wardens, space marines gifted with the powers of the warp are lower than in your average chapter. Whether this is due to the believed tougher process initiates are put through or because of the geneseed is a matter of great discussion amongst the apothecaries and wardens of the chapter. Along with this, it is not an uncommon sight to see a librarian paired together with another. The reasoning behind this also relates to the role of the librarian within the chapter: to remain vigilant for any threats from the warp itself. Unlike in other chapters, librarians of the Knights Penitent hone their skills with the blade and use the warp to improve their own speed and strength to combat the enemy and to detect any demonic threat, whether through equipment from the enemy or whispers from elsewhere. It is due to this duty and due to the possibility of being possessed themselves that they are paired. In short, not only do they watch their own brothers within a company but they also watch themselves.

 

Of particular interest within the bounds of the chapter is a group called the Penitent. Having been present within the chapter since it’s earliest records, the Penitent are what some of the younger members of the chapter would consider a punishment while the veterans take a different stance on the group and see it as a learning curve. Notable signs of a Knight Penitent being part of this group range from the use of tabards and hoods being donned along this marks resembling silver chains appearing on his armour to even the weapons being chained to a marines' gauntlet. Those who have served time but also managed to rejoin their brothers have been known to paint bronze chains onto their armour to show the progress they have made. To be considered a part of the Penitent, a space marine must put his case forward to a Warden as to how he has failed in his duties not only to the chapter but to the Imperium as a whole. It has also been known for a Sergeant or superior officer of the space marine in question to step forward to make the case themselves however they have been shown to be the lesser of the two cases.

 

Should the Warden judge that the space marine is indeed needing to join the Penitent then he will be inducted and the Captain will be made aware of this development. From that moment on, the space marine in question will only be with his brothers in the battlefield. Until he is deemed fit to leave the Penitent, he will stay his days in the chapel aboard the chapter fleet and spend his days with the help of the Wardens to banish the inner demons within himself and bring enlightenment to the lost. The trials done to help the space marine vary depending on the case, ranging from ritualistic scarring to the use of hallucinogenic drugs to help with the task of helping the space marine.

 

As for the chapter fleet, examination of the ships seen to be part of the Knights’ Penitent bear a striking resemblance of the Nomad Predation Fleet more commonly seen in the Great Crusade. Ships once used by pirates and renegades seem to have been captured by the chapter to serve their own needs, handing over any salvage found over to the local Mechanicus forces and being refitted either for the needs of the chapter or for other imperial forces. At the heart of the chapters’ fleet is the Pillar of Redemption, a battle barge that is considered the main base of operations for the chapter. It serves as the linchpin for the chapter fleet in general and has seen modifications such as the addition of forges to help produce equipment though it doesn’t mean the chapter is self reliant.

Homeworld

 

Sidereus

To the Imperium at large, Sidereus is little more than a world of fire and death with lava rivers running across the planet, bearing many similarities with volcanic worlds across the Imperiums’ influence. It’s populace is little more than techno barbarians, scavenging off of what remains across the landscape in small bands hidden away in every crook and hole that offers shelter from the storms of ash that cross the land.Yet a deeper look into the world reveals a history buried within the caverns and ruins spotted across the landscape.

Before the days of the Great Crusade, it is believed that Sidereus was once a Penal World, holding the scum of an empire long lost to time. Murderers, thieves, any and all who had committed terrible crimes were sentenced to live the rest of their days within cages and cells. Attempts made to escape ended in death, either from the beatings of the guards or from the gene-forged beasts’ bites and claws.

The Storm of Ruin

These days didn’t last and unexpectedly, the planets’ long-thought dormant volcanos’ erupted and brought ruin to the facilities built. Prisoners’ ran free as systems fell and guard turned on guard as chaos erupted and everyone tried to escape. The storms of ash and soot that erupted from the mountains seeped their way into any aircraft trying to get clear of the planet and fell back to earth, crashing and burning.

While the intensity of the storms would lessen, the damage was done. The world was changed forever. Gangs of prisoners’ and guards were formed, all fighting each over for the precious supplies that were now scattered to the winds. Friendships were broken and forged, enemies found. One thing agreed on by all of the groups though, as told by the storytellers, is that they now lived in Purgatory.

Legends started to spread now, some believing that the Reaper of Death and his agents would hunt them all down eventually and throw them into the lava rivers’ flowing through the land for their sins (those of their own or eventually those of their fathers and mothers that is). Others’ spoke of salvation coming from the skies to their rescue while some believe that to escape the realm of Purgatory, one must go deeper into the ground, towards hell itself, and pray that their sins would not drag them down before finding the gates of heaven and finding rescue.

Combat Doctrine

<<description of the Chapter's combat doctrine>>

Geneseed

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Notes
Basic Info
  • Unknown Founding

History

  •  First records show event called the Reforge, a penitent crusade but the reasoning is not listed
  •  Efforts shown in removing remnants of the Nova Interregum along with operations working with Inquisitors and then into generally looking for heretics and xenos who look to expose weaknesses created by the Interragum.

Homeworld - Sector
A home? We do have a home. It's the battlefield. We are not worthy in the eyes of the Emperor if we're anywhere else.

  • Chapter is fleet based, allowing them to easily cross space and carry out their purges
  • Battle Barge Pillar of Redemption centre base of chapter, holds names of empires and foes burnt to ash, has hall of judgement

Possible world in sector.

Sidereus

To the Imperium at large, Sidereus is little more than a world of fire and death with lava rivers running across the planet, bearing many similarities with volcanic worlds across the Imperiums’ influence. It’s populace is little more than techno barbarians, scavenging off of what remains across the landscape in small bands hidden away in every crook and hole that offers shelter from the storms of ash that cross the land.Yet a deeper look into the world reveals a history buried within the caverns and ruins spotted across the landscape.

Before the days of the Great Crusade, it is believed that Sidereus was once a Penal World, holding the scum of an empire long lost to time. Murderers, thieves, any and all who had committed terrible crimes were sentenced to live the rest of their days within cages and cells. Attempts made to escape ended in death, either from the beatings of the guards or from the gene-forged beasts’ bites and claws.

The Storm of Ruin

These days didn’t last and unexpectedly, the planets’ long-thought dormant volcanos’ erupted and brought ruin to the facilities built. Prisoners’ ran free as systems fell and guard turned on guard as chaos erupted and everyone tried to escape. The storms of ash and soot that erupted from the mountains seeped their way into any aircraft trying to get clear of the planet and fell back to earth, crashing and burning.

While the intensity of the storms would lessen, the damage was done. The world was changed forever. Gangs of prisoners’ and guards were formed, all fighting each over for the precious supplies that were now scattered to the winds. Friendships were broken and forged, enemies found. One thing agreed on by all of the groups though, as told by the storytellers, is that they now lived in Purgatory.

Legends started to spread now, some believing that the Reaper of Death and his agents would hunt them all down eventually and throw them into the lava rivers’ flowing through the land for their sins (those of their own or eventually those of their fathers and mothers that is). Others’ spoke of salvation coming from the skies to their rescue while some believe that to escape the realm of Purgatory, one must go deeper into the ground, towards hell itself, and pray that their sins would not drag them down before finding the gates of heaven and finding rescue.

 
 
Recruitment - Know this, by taking the Trials of Iron, you will be reforged into a weapon of the Emperor and of the Imperium. Your name, your past...all of it will be gone. This is the price you must pay if you wish to serve.

  • Wardens/Redeemers (chaplains) cross the system searching for potential recruits
  • Trials involve forging their own weaponry and armour, kept after induction into space marines as reminders
  • Veterans are given marks (Like titan class items in Destiny) that are returned to their order back on homeworld

Chapter Organisation

  • Penitent are marines who have failed their duties and seek redemption. Remain in their squads however before battle have their weapons chained to their hands and swear oaths seeking redemption.
  • 10th Company is constantly going through the sector, seeking new potential recruits
  • 1st company is spread out attached to other companies or away
  • Reserve Companies have same units as Battle Company and are paired with a battle company when dealing in a warzone. When an inquisitor calls for support a battle company squad will go to assist as a kill team while the reserve company fills in the gap until kill team returns.

Chapter Doctrine

  • Chapter specialised with erasing cultures with flame


Belief - I have no friends, I have no home, I have no name. There is only my brothers and the Chapter.

  • Emphasis of working together and loyalty towards the chapter and Imperium
  • Deep hatred of those who have betrayed the Imperium, believing the only way to destroy them is to destroy anything from them (Iconclasts)
  • Failure is a big matter
  • Chaplains play a big part in the chapter

Geneseed

  • Rumours to being either Dark Angels or Iron Hands studies showing geneseed remain pure though still get rigerous testing under the watch of the Inquisition. RUmours go off of behaviour of the chapter: dark angels due to reclusiveness and iron hands due to perseved weakness in themselves though both chapters' don't claim to be th

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Let me know any comments on what you feel works and what doesn't along with anything that may cause any confusion.

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I've quickly gone over your IA and have a few initial comments to make.

Firstly, the font is really small and it makes it uncomfortable to read (for me, at least). Is there a reason behind the small size?

 

Secondly, you need to focus on the transition from the 141st to the new Chapter more than anything else, in my opinion. You need to answer questions such as "why didn't they simply rejoin the Dark Angels Legion/Chapter?" and "how did they go from being stranded on a Feral World to becoming a fully autonomous Chapter?". Due to the fact that the way your Chapter is founded is highly unconventional (compared to 99% of other known Chapters), you need to explain how your Chapter managed to jump through all of the hoops to become a well-stocked, battle-ready Chapter of one thousand Astartes. You don't necessarily have to do a whole section entitled Chapter History where you detail everything but the reader must be able to somehow glean all of the necessary information while reading through your article.

 

Thirdly, if the founders of your Chapter originate from the 1st Legion and got separated during/after the Thramas Crusade, how did they learn about the Fallen? Would they necessarily join the Hunt? Since they didn't see the Fall of Caliban with their own eyes, perhaps they can get out of being part of the Unforgiven?

 

Fourthly, the Chapter Master going insane is a bit... easy? I'm not saying it's impossible but I find it strange that the leader of the Chapter suddenly descends into madness (after decades or even centuries of warfare, training, traditions, indoctrination, etc). Is there an outside influence that pushed him over the edge? Was it perhaps one of his closest advisers who inadvertently (or perhaps intentionally) twisted his mind? Or was it perhaps a deeply-ingrained flaw that no one thought would do any harm that suddenly "bloomed" and caused the whole mess?

 

Lastly, your Chapter Doctrine will need developing a bit. I think it's safe to say that a large number of Chapters adapt their strategy to the situation and while the Brotherhood idea is cool, it's not a new idea so it would be nice to see something fresh, a neat little twist that makes the reader go "oh, that's pretty cool and I haven't seen it done that way before".

 

*breathes out*

 

I hope you won't be discouraged by this. I think you have some good ideas but there a bit all over the place, so now you need to sit down and work on refining them and connecting the dots to create your story.

 

All the best and I'll be keeping an eye out for your progress. :tu:

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Thanks for the feedback Dosjetka, I wouldn't really get anywhere with the chapter if I didn't get any feedback. I wouldn't be doing a good job at the Gaunlet if I ran away at the first signs of feedback. Now, to address it:

 

1. Originally I had all the notes written up in a google doc. Its probably why the size of the text is the way it is. Once I'm back from work and on my desktop I'll get it all sorted out.

 

2. That is a fair point and I will be sure to address the transition between being stranded and becoming a full fledged chapter. The basic idea though is that during the Scouring, the Dark Angels (or perhaps one of their successors) is on patrol looking for warbands when they stumble on the distress call from the 141th. At this time, the force would've had heavy casualties due to their efforts in hunting down any night lords running from Thramas and become stranded on the planet when their ship is heavily damaged. Once found, they would be checked for taint and such by the Imperium until deemed pure and ready for combat. Since the numbes would be small enough it would be decided they would help train the latest generation of space marines and then that the Dark Angels would tell the leaders of the Hunt for the Fallen. Which leads onto point three

 

3. At first, I had the idea that the marines would feel guilty of not being part of what happened to Caliban and would be heavily driven to finding the Fallen. You do raise some valid questions though on whether they would actually join the Hunt or not.

 

4. As for the Chapter Master going insane, I had it be a mixture of the chapter masters' worries being played on by outside forces making him lead to these actions that he causes. It's something I'll consider for sure.

 

5. Another fair point. I'll continue to brainstorm ideas that I can play on. The main reasoning behind the idea comes from the Formations the Dark Angels Legion had (such as the Dreadwing, Deathwing etc) and have it so that it didn't conflict with the Codex Astartes and such.

 

Again, thanks for the feedback. Expect some changes soon :)

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First of all, what kind of article is desired? If this is a traditional, 40k Index Astartes article, I'd recommend cutting out almost all of the 30k lore. Doesn't mean tossing it out as trash, just that it takes up valuable space in an article where it's less relevant. Keep the information, because as the author it's still relevant to you in further developing the Chapter, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's relevant to the readers, if you understand what I'm getting at. Concentrating on both, giving full attention and development to both, in a single article can make it a bit of a rambling mess for the reader.

 

That said, I've always been interested in the idea of using FW's Horus Heresy article format to accompany an Index Astartes/Traitoris article as a sort of dual feature that can be read and enjoyed individually but collectively tells a broader tale. The 30k article can set the path that leads to a self-destructive Chapter Master, while the 40k article can hint at the conflict it created. You certainly don't have to do that, but it's an idea.

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Thanks for looking over the notes Conn. To answer your question, I do intend on the article being an Index Astartes with the focus being on the Iron Angels and not of the 141st though they do play a part in their creation, hence why a fair part of the notes features them. If anything at the moment, I'm more having it be a timeline of sorts so I know what events play out. Perhaps in time I'll write up an article/story based around the 141st however for now the Iron Angels are the focus.
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Food for thought but I was wondering if you might come up with unique interrogation methods for capture fallen. Personally, I found with a lengthy surgical nightmare that renders said Fallen into a barely sentient servitor who's promptly executed after his transformation is completed. It's a fate worse then death and it'd certainly get them talking, especially if they have the vein hope that fate can be avoided... Just a weird idea that popped into my head, do with it what you will.

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Thanks for the suggestion Badass. In all honesty however after some consideration I'm thinking of scrapping the idea of the chapter first being in the search for the Fallen along with the chapter master going insane/mad and for the moment focusing on the homeworld along with the idea that the chapter refuses to be considered Unforgiven.

 

Speaking of that, there is a few new developments I've been considering:

 

First of those being to have the homeworld being a former penal world brought to ruin by volcanos erupting and generally breaking down securuty etc with the population becoming spread in smaller communities much like Ancient Greece was like.

 

The second takes some inspiration of the Eleusinian Mysteries about a mythos where aspiring recruits would head into the caverns underground ( considered hell by the local populace ) to under take 'rituals' to help them ascend to 'heaven' (aka space) so that in the end they can escape purgatory ( where the main populace stays at just on the surface or close to ). This in truth is how the chapter would gain its recruits and turn them into space marines.

 

Thoughts on the matter? Does the ideas work?

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By the God-Emperor's well-oiled biceps, is someone actually asking for my opinion? Good sir, I shall do my best.


First off, kudo's on you for ditching the Inner Circle gimmick every successor has. Sure, you'll probably get a lot of flak for it but honestly, you're Space Marines have more pressing matters at hand. Tyrannic Wars, Black Crusade's, Great Waaaghs!; too much galactic crap simply to be ignored for a little secret. (Cypher's going to knock my teeth out for calling it little)

My advice for going about this without getting your Chapter absolutely mauled from other successors is placing them in a particularly nasty part of space... Perhaps the Eastern Fringe, near the Eye of Terror, that sorta thing. Make their presence in whichever Sector absolutely necessary in case your brother Chapters get a tad bold and attempt to expunge for declining their clubhouse invitation.

Have you thought about combining both idea's? The global disaster possibly reverted human populations from space venturing technology to superstitious natives. It'd be interesting aesthetics, vast prison gauntlets which further enforce their belief their world is a place between heaven and hell. Locals who deviate a tad far from the norm, either physically or spiritually, are thrown into molten streams. It could represent the final step into hell while entering the cave is elevation into heaven. However, only children blessed by shamans or something might enter. A sort of tribal system that connects all three stages... But food for thought.

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If you want a DA successor that doesn't hunt the fallen it really shouldn't be that much of an issue. I'm pretty sure it's documented in some fluff that not even all the Captains of the DA know fully about the fallen. Only those of the inner circle. It simply boils down to whether the existing Unforgiven Chapters think they can trust this new chapter with what could be a damning secret. If the answer is no, they simply don't mention it to them. Then all they will have is the information that their original Captain has been trusted with - I'm sure there's mention in the Unforgiven series of the DA wanting to keep the Captain of the 4th(maybe) company away from the site of where they thought the Fallen would be, cause he wasn't Deathwing. As far as he knows it's just a traitor Astartes.

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Thanks for the responses so far. As for your suggestions and such:

 

My advice for going about this without getting your Chapter absolutely mauled from other successors is placing them in a particularly nasty part of space... Perhaps the Eastern Fringe, near the Eye of Terror, that sorta thing. Make their presence in whichever Sector absolutely necessary in case your brother Chapters get a tad bold and attempt to expunge for declining their clubhouse invitation.

Have you thought about combining both idea's? The global disaster possibly reverted human populations from space venturing technology to superstitious natives. It'd be interesting aesthetics, vast prison gauntlets which further enforce their belief their world is a place between heaven and hell. Locals who deviate a tad far from the norm, either physically or spiritually, are thrown into molten streams. It could represent the final step into hell while entering the cave is elevation into heaven. However, only children blessed by shamans or something might enter. A sort of tribal system that connects all three stages... But food for thought.

 

For the first part there, I have to say I think it would be a little extreme for dark angel successor chapters' to kill off one of their own simply because they didn't call themselves Unforgiven. It would certainly piss off a lot of them however we do know of one dark angel successor (In the 2nd Founding no less) believe that they aren't guilty for the actions for what happened on Caliban yet still hunt down the Fallen due to the threat they pose. However, it does seem simpler that the Dark Angels don't bring them into the Inner Circle for possible reasons I list below and address to Ferrus.

 

As for your second part, that was generally the idea I had with what the people would be like, being little more than techno-barbarians who believed themselves born into Purgatory since in their eyes, they're the survivors' of what they believe to be Doomsday. Perhaps less emphasis on the shaman part and more...like a storyteller. They would give warnings on the beasts that wondered the landscape (Those being originally gene-bred hounds used to keep prisoners in check) and that there is a path to salvation. I suppose they would be a mix between a priest and a storyteller. Being thrown into molten streams is certainly a nice equivalent for the death penalty; in fact lava could be one of the main tools that the groups on the planet which could spread to the chapter... it's certainly good food for thought Badass.

 

 

If you want a DA successor that doesn't hunt the fallen it really shouldn't be that much of an issue. I'm pretty sure it's documented in some fluff that not even all the Captains of the DA know fully about the fallen. Only those of the inner circle. It simply boils down to whether the existing Unforgiven Chapters think they can trust this new chapter with what could be a damning secret. If the answer is no, they simply don't mention it to them. Then all they will have is the information that their original Captain has been trusted with - I'm sure there's mention in the Unforgiven series of the DA wanting to keep the Captain of the 4th(maybe) company away from the site of where they thought the Fallen would be, cause he wasn't Deathwing. As far as he knows it's just a traitor Astartes.

 

Agreed, while it's certainly possible that the chapter could be informed of the Fallen and got members brought into the Circle, at least in my mind those who would end up creating the new chapter would be considered loose cannons to the Unforgiven and with them being seperated from the original legion for a long time it could be said they're not truely Dark Angels. Hence why they would be kept in the dark and not told of what really happened. The feeling is mutual though so if you asked a member of the chapter who they considered themselves to be, they would say they're they are the Emperors' soldiers first and then begrudgingly admit they're sons of the Lion.

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Storyteller adds a nice bit of flavor as oppose to Shamans. I like to think that the remaining populace hasn't completed reverted back to tribalism but retained some semblance of their former cultures. Las-guns could be considered precious, perhaps revered hunting relics past from father to son; scavengers parties might excavate millennia-old ruins for salvage. If that's something you like, maybe your Marines could hold their weapons, even older models/patterns in high regards.

Your Marines would descend from the heavens on screeching mechanized eagles and sentence those who questions the laws/myths that govern their realm into the lava... Damn, that's hardcore but hey,  it'd certainly keep the population from asking too many questions or becoming a touch too innovative. Maybe have a tech-priest set up shop/Forge Temple and act as said Story Teller, keeping the population intentionally oblivious... Something along those lines, it's been a long day.

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Storyteller adds a nice bit of flavor as oppose to Shamans. I like to think that the remaining populace hasn't completed reverted back to tribalism but retained some semblance of their former cultures. Las-guns could be considered precious, perhaps revered hunting relics past from father to son; scavengers parties might excavate millennia-old ruins for salvage. If that's something you like, maybe your Marines could hold their weapons, even older models/patterns in high regards.

 

Your Marines would descend from the heavens on screeching mechanized eagles and sentence those who questions the laws/myths that govern their realm into the lava... Damn, that's hardcore but hey,  it'd certainly keep the population from asking too many questions or becoming a touch too innovative. Maybe have a tech-priest set up shop/Forge Temple and act as said Story Teller, keeping the population intentionally oblivious... Something along those lines, it's been a long day.

 

The first part I definitely agree along with the lines that the people won't have fallen to being completely feral, techno-barbarian/ scavengers is certainly a good term to describe them in my head at least. The importance of equipment and such seems like one belief that would cross over into the chapter itself with the more ancient the weapon is, the more it is revered. That and marines themselves would be looked to with making sure their equipment worked properly and that anything they couldn't handle would be handed over to the tech-marines of the chapter.

 

As for the second, I see going around on the planet and dealing with the people on there being more of a responsibility of the chaplains themselves. It would need to be dire reasons for the chapter to deploy on the planet itself (Like the world being attacked by an outside force) however for the most part it will be the chaplains who will act as the go between between the population of the planet and of the chapter itself. While they're certainly to be something that's feared by the population, they're to still make sure that the people there still try to become space marines. If anything, there could be rumours of giant, robed men called Lawbringers/Arbiters who are believed to point the way towards heaven for those who prove themselves strong enough.

 

Funnily enough, after doing some looking around it appears like a lot of beliefs and such fall in line with the Salamanders' Promethean Cult though there will be more differences. More something for myself to consider however I'll be trying to write out more information for the chapter; my week is busy with work and such but I'll try my best.

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I sometimes wonder how these beliefs actually make it into Astarte's Chapters? I want to question it but that Black Templar across the street revving his Chainsword and shaking his head reminds me "A closed mind is a healthy mind."

A bit of 40K humor before I begin.

Salamanders are famed for crafting ornate armor, thus, making them Space Pimps with their golden scale cloaks and ruby-eyed dragon skulls on their pauldrons. Your Marines might not be so inclined to become previous stated Space Pimps, however, that doesn't mean they couldn't have similar tendencies towards their weapons. Over time a battle brother could decorate their bolter, add certain attachments- personalize the weapon. Each Marine would have that own unique armament, be it bolter or chainsword. Something to contemplate, good sir!

Salamanders Promethium Cult makes them sadomasochistic pyro-manics who, I wouldn't doubt, have possible morphine addictions for said sadomasochism... But enough of that.

Hell is often represented by flaming river beds, lakes of festering bodies, and people in bright red devil suits poking your bottom. So having that one transgressor thrown into a lake of lava is easily interpreted as sentencing them to hell. That's it, doesn't have to go beyond that. So throwing people into lakes of lava and personalizing weapons... Yea, wouldn't call that Salamander but any further you could be treading on their territory.

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I should explain. When I said their beliefs are similar to that of the Promethean Cult, its more the parts of self-reliance and self-sacrifice that are shared between the two chapters however that is mostly all they have in common. Due to fire/lava being linked with hell, the chapter see's it as being the worst way to die so most members would be hesitent at using one though there are exceptions. It also plays a big part in punishments as not only does it link to hell but the burn marks left behind serve as a reminder to the marine to improve himself.

 

Another idea that came to mind for me to do with the organisation of the chapter is that before a space marine can rejoin the 10th company to act as instructers and trainers of the initiates is that they must spend some time in service under a chaplain to ensure that the applicant is ready to serve in the 10th again and impart the knowledge needed to judge a potential recruit. Thoughts?

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Sorry to double post however I've began writing up up the Homeworld Section. Lemme know what you guys feel about it and what areas could be improved and such:

 

 

Sidereus

 

To the Imperium at large, Sidereus is little more than a world of fire and death with lava rivers running across the planet, bearing many similarities with volcanic worlds across the Imperiums’ influence. It’s populace is little more than techno barbarians, scavenging off of what remains across the landscape in small bands hidden away in every crook and hole that offers shelter from the storms of ash that cross the land.Yet a deeper look into the world reveals a history buried within the caverns and ruins spotted across the landscape.

 

Before the days of the Great Crusade, it is believed that Sidereus was once a Penal World, holding the scum of an empire long lost to time. Murderers, thieves, any and all who had committed terrible crimes were sentenced to live the rest of their days within cages and cells. Attempts made to escape ended in death, either from the beatings of the guards or from the gene-forged beasts’ bites and claws.

 

The Storm of Ruin

 

These days didn’t last and unexpectedly, the planets’ long-thought dormant volcanos’ erupted and brought ruin to the facilities built. Prisoners’ ran free as systems fell and guard turned on guard as chaos erupted and everyone tried to escape. The storms of ash and soot that erupted from the mountains seeped their way into any aircraft trying to get clear of the planet and fell back to earth, crashing and burning.

 

While the intensity of the storms would lessen, the damage was done. The world was changed forever. Gangs of prisoners’ and guards were formed, all fighting each over for the precious supplies that were now scattered to the winds. Friendships were broken and forged, enemies found. One thing agreed on by all of the groups though, as told by the storytellers, is that they now lived in Purgatory.

 

Legends started to spread now, some believing that the Reaper of Death and his agents would hunt them all down eventually and throw them into the lava rivers’ flowing through the land for their sins (those of their own or eventually those of their fathers and mothers that is). Others’ spoke of salvation coming from the skies to their rescue while some believe that to escape the realm of Purgatory, one must go deeper into the ground, towards hell itself, and pray that their sins would not drag them down before finding the gates of heaven and finding rescue.

 

The Mysteries of Angels

 

It was during this time, during the days of the Horus Heresy, that what appeared to be a comet lighted up the sky and crashed onto Sidereus. It was at this time that angels clad from head to toe in obsidian arrived, battered and bruised from what appeared to be war. Sightings were dotted across the planet, helping groups of people fight off bandits and pillagers before disappearing into the ashen wastes. Or so the story goes.

This tale echoes throughout the numerous communities dotted throughout the planet, storytellers’ each giving their own version tale. Some say that these angels arrived to buy the people of Sidereus more time to find safety while others say how they rose again as ashen wraiths, claimed by the Reaper of Death and used to hunt those they formerly protected. The second seems to be more prevalent and for good reason…

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Nothing? Hmm, either way, I've cracked on with some writing and have gotten the recruitment done to what I feel is an acceptable state. Again, any C&C is greatly appreciated:

 

Throughout the year, those seeking to escape from their lives in purgatory go out in expeditions, using what resources they have gathered for themselves to fend off the dangers that seek to bring their hopes crashing down in death.

 

These expeditions eventually lead into the caverns and tunnels deep within the planet. It is within these tunnels that the surviving members find out the truth and where their true trials begin. It is within these tunnels that chaplain and his escort starts the Trials of Iron, weeding out the weak and finding those worthy of becoming space marines. Those who fail the Trials but still live are given the choice to either return to their settlement and help prepare the next generation for the Trials or to become a serf in service to the chapter.

 

Those who pass the Trials are then teleported away to the main moon where the Iron Angels’ Fortress Monastery is built and where the Reforging begins. It is here where recruits have their geneseed implanted along with all the other organs needed to transform them into space marines. Not only is the bodies if the recruits reforged but also their minds, indoctrinating them and enforcing onto them the bonds of loyalty and brotherhood not only to the chapter but to the Imperium too. Finally, to complete their transformation, the recruit is given a new name to show their transformation into a space marine and to show they’ve broken free of purgatory and started a new life.

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Be patient, brother. :)

When I joined this brotherhood I was eager to get some feedback and improve myself as well. And I didn't understand why nobody said something back then.

 

You'll get c&c when the time is right, no worries.;)

I still have to read your stuff. Afterwards, I can tell you more. :)

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Well, first you have to clear the rubish you consider a outline...

Second, and this apply to all Iron Gauntleters, you should post some kind of "Author's Foreword" which would explain your intentions, ambitions and thoughts on the Chapter and the article.*

  • Homeworld: Elysia primarily with another 2 planets in the system
  • Created to defend a particular sector
  • Large amounts of Librarians in the Chapter
  • Geneseed: Ultramarines or Raven Guard?
  • Created during the 23rd Founding
  • Combat doctrine : heavy assault with jump packs
  • Values Knowledge and Intelligence
  • The civilizations on the homeworld/s of the chapter were already advanced before they arrived
  • Civil War on the planet

This might look perfectly fine to the author, since he sees the invisible threads and strings, but for casual onlooker it's just list of random ideas. Seriously people, explain your intentions and inspirations - It would greatly facilitate the flow of comments and suggestions if the readers know the source (and vector) of the info they are presented.

*I will murder anybody (and everybody), who will say that he wants to write awesome article, win the contest and hear the praise of generations to come. furious.gif

~ NightrawenII

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First off, I thought I posted in your thread buuuut that sorta went down the poopshoot, didn't it? Where my reply went, I have no idea. Secondly; don't stress about lack of C&C, good sir! Like that javelin hucking Rawen stated earlier. Continue to update and mold your Chapter to your hearts content to appease your own imagination, no one else. Take me, for example- I doubt anyone has read any of my updates BUT! that doesn't matter. I'm having faaar too much fun to care and the same should be for you. Just keep editing, throwing different idea's, build the Chapter and, again, like Rawen stated, the C&C will come... If it doesn't, you still had fun.

Now, with my little speech done there's something I must stress; Molten lava inflicted burn marks act as a reminder!? Maybe I misinterpreted that entirely but I'm fairly certain burns marks left by lava usually lead to amputations. Not to mention the close proximity to the heated substance would, presumably, lead to third degree burns. So please, lets not chastise your Angels by forcing them to go skinny dipping in the Lava... Or using their big toe to see how hot it is.

Chaplains, from my understanding, normally act as religious figures within Chapters or portray similar roles. If anything Apothecaries sounds more applicable for the task. 10th Company tutors are either Veterans from 1st Company with Apothecary experience, or full blown Apothecaries themselves. In this instance, Neophyte's implantation can be monitored for suspected rejections and veteran experience would attribute considerably to their upbringing... But Chaplains, I'm not entirely sure. You could infect the Neophyte's with rabies and have the Chaplain shout HERETIC and watch the Aspirants go berserk. Hehe, don't worry, I was only joking.

Time is scarce sir, and I must cut this short as other threads need... No, DEMAND my non-sense before reality steals me away.

 

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Thanks for your honesty Nightrawen, as said before any C&C is greatly appreciated. Once I'm on my desktop I'll try to rewrite the OP so that its clearer for everyone to read.

 

@Badass, it wasn't intended for the chapter to use the actual lava to burn in punishments, more brands and such may be heated from the lava but that is the extent of that.

 

As for the chaplains, from what I've gathered chaplains play a big part in making sure that the initiates and such. Even then its been known for some chapters, like the Space Wolves and their wolf priests, have the roles of apothecary and chaplain be combined. That isn't what I intend though.

 

What I'm trying to say is that in the chapter, chaplains play a bigger role than usual. For example, during recruitment and such, the chaplain will be the one to go to the homeworld and find potential recruits with the aid of veterans transfered to the 10th (which in of itself requires blessings from the chapters due to the importance of chaplains and the recruitment process as a whole.) In short, chaplains are big players within the chapter.

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I'm a sucker for combining roles in Chapters or elaborating on secondary training. While I do understand the Chaplains role in recruiting for the Chapter, something nags at me that an Apothecary should have a bit more involvement than the Chaplains. Yes yes, Chaplains are quite the menacing experienced characters who bonk bad guys BUT, and just a suggestion, expanding on Chaplain training and roles. It's completely unnecessary, I know but it might add a touch of utility to Chaplain roles. Take it with a grain of salt, good sir!

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To be fair, based on current fluff, it is usually the 10th Coy chaplain seeks out potential recruits anyway. So there's an argument where that isn't that unique a responsibility and no issue for your chapter to continue the practice.
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I'm a sucker for combining roles in Chapters or elaborating on secondary training. While I do understand the Chaplains role in recruiting for the Chapter, something nags at me that an Apothecary should have a bit more involvement than the Chaplains. Yes yes, Chaplains are quite the menacing experienced characters who bonk bad guys BUT, and just a suggestion, expanding on Chaplain training and roles. It's completely unnecessary, I know but it might add a touch of utility to Chaplain roles. Take it with a grain of salt, good sir!

See, thing is that at least to me, Chaplains are the spirit of the chapter and they have equal say on a recruits' status as an apothacary does. A recruit is no good if he is not mentally prepared even with all the genetics in the world. If anything, a chaplain has a bigger role then people think as while a captain may have the final word on something, it would be foolish to ignore a chaplains' words. Thats the point I'm trying to get across with that idea.

 

To be fair, based on current fluff, it is usually the 10th Coy chaplain seeks out potential recruits anyway. So there's an argument where that isn't that unique a responsibility and no issue for your chapter to continue the practice.

True, it isn't that unique. The point I'm trying to get across though is that a chaplains' words have alot of weight to them and that while some chapters just have 1st company vets just get transfered to the 10th, to me it would make sense that the chaplains would want to make sure the subject would be a suitable mentor for new recruits. Just because you're a veteran doesn't mean you have the spark needed to train recruits.

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Dizzy, I've actually applied your logic to my own Chapter which explains why they're so insufferable. True, Chaplains might not be entirely unique yet when you read why they're essential, it makes me wonder why others are so hell bent on making the recruiting so impossibly unique. Conforming to your explanation saves time, and honestly, makes the most sense... Which is probably why a lot of other Chapters use Chaplains.

I felt obligated to, at least, acknowledge your logic and reasoning behind it. You've essentially widened the scope of Chapter conception for me, and thanks.

Besides me giving you a jonty pat on the bum, have you considered or churned the idea about customized weapons in your chapter? What attachments might the Iron Angels employ and if it translate into their power armor... Food for thought!

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Dizzy, I've actually applied your logic to my own Chapter which explains why they're so insufferable. True, Chaplains might not be entirely unique yet when you read why they're essential, it makes me wonder why others are so hell bent on making the recruiting so impossibly unique. Conforming to your explanation saves time, and honestly, makes the most sense... Which is probably why a lot of other Chapters use Chaplains.

 

I felt obligated to, at least, acknowledge your logic and reasoning behind it. You've essentially widened the scope of Chapter conception for me, and thanks.

 

Besides me giving you a jonty pat on the bum, have you considered or churned the idea about customized weapons in your chapter? What attachments might the Iron Angels employ and if it translate into their power armor... Food for thought!

 

Glad I can expand on your view of how chapters work. As for the customised weapons, if anything there any customisation on their weapons, it would be like your average chapter. In all honesty though, I'm not focusing on that since to me it doesn't really add anything to the chapters' identity. In fact I'm looking at everything so far and wondering whether to include the ideas or not. In short I'm doing what I suggested in another thread and working out what I want the chapter to actually be.

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