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[IRON GAUNTLET 2017] +Index Astartes: The Desolators+

Iron Gauntlet 2017

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#1
Draakur

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I was going to wait to start this, I've got chunks of other text written, but I'll put up a breakdown here of the overall picture of what I'm going for. After the prompting in the main thread to get our asses into gear, just to get the ball rolling I'll start like this and see if anyone has some initial input, based on this outline.

So! This will finally be my IA for the Desolators, that I've been working on (with the help of many of you, especially Zhiv) over the last 6 months, originally as the canon Chapter the Destroyers.

As some of us are doing again lately, I'm going to keep this list of core concepts and inspirations up the top here, to keep myself honest and refer back to when stuck:

- part Cossack/old Slavic, part Game of Thrones Thenn (30% Nordic, 70% Slav)
- cannibalism, ritual and symbolic
- Chapter ruled and lead by psyker elements and their foretellings/divination
- worship and seek to emulate the Khan to the extreme (hit and run, independent, "at peace" with the warp, value strategy) and tend to go overboard frequently
- on supposed great quest; after huge vision event, the Chapter believes they are fated to be part of something highly significant to come

+++
ORIGINS
- Founding undecided as yet
- White Scar geneseed, via Destroyers
- created originally to retake forgotten worlds taken by Xenos in far reaches of ignored imperium

HOMEWORLD
- feral planet, mixture of swampland, semi-mountainous terrain and plains. Lightning storms and resulting fires/floods keep the people nomadic
- tribal but highly organised people, lead by shamanic caste who are also mighty warriors and leaders (muscle wizards), value placed on both a warrior's skill and his insight equally
- cannibalism prevalent throughout, belief system places this and associated practices at core of Homeworld culture

BELIEFS
- the soul/spirit is housed in the body
- absolute faith in the utility and near-divinity of those with psychic power (like the Khan but overboard)
- ritualistic consumption of the brain, heart and certain other organs can imbue one with the dead warrior's essence. Meaning depends on situation and ritual involved (also eat friendlies under certain circumstances)
- the Emperor is no God but a hugely powerful psychic force in the universe, who influences fate of everything
- the Khan was the "purest" warrior of all time

ORGANISATION
- largely Codex, as the Khan
- companies as Scar brotherhoods, independent hunting forces
- Librarians ("Kolduns") ultimately rule over Chapter in all major decisions and influence many minor ones. Warrior-mages, active in the field of battle more than they are lore keepers (Chaplains take these responsibilities)
- Head Koldun ("Porahn") lords over Chapter
- Chapter master is First Warleader, still prime director in martial and Chapter affairs and officially the head of the Chapter when a face is required to represent the Chapter in major events, but is ultimately second in command and able to be vetoed - leadership basically shared. Chosen by Kolduns whenever new one is required
- no Dreadnoughts (unless very rarely decreed necessary by seers), minimal Devastators
- very Landspeeder heavy, see this as the best expression of the Khan on his jet bikes
- specialist veteran scouts, natural progression to Tactical marines is not always the case and some marines stay on in scout roles permanently (need to flesh this out)

COMBAT DOCTRINE
- "terror tactics" (?) and psychological warfare used
- prefer to defeat their enemies by weakening them first (cutting off supply lines, sabotage, feints and distractions to separate forces, etc).
- all manoeuvring and stalking to set up prey before striking with overwhelming force. Prefer not to hang around in prolonged warfare if they can avoid it
- the hunt and strategical pre-game is just as significant as the conflict. Some tales are told of the strategical outwitting of enemies by great heroes in the Chapter's history without referencing the battle itself at all

CULTURE
- hunters above all. Hunting contests to track and kill a visited planet's megafauna whenever possible.
- heavy ritual scarring commonplace (like the Khan but overboard)
- poets. Contests of wit not uncommon. Known to play games of strategy as a past time
- idiosyncrasies and minor habits/superstitions make them seem odd
- brotherhood and reverence for past heroes important. Brothers will be acquainted with role, honours etc of every other Brother of the Chapter, even those they have not met (updated repository etc), both out of respect and in order to track the great essences of the Chapter's past. Creates sense of openness and unity among all
- shaved bald heads by choice is standard, heavily bearded/moustached

DISPOSITION
- insightful and grim but not without humour. "Laugh while you are killing"
- fierce, but still mystics and poets in nature, as the Scars. Encouraged to learn of the universe. Superstitious, eccentric to outsiders
- cunningness is approved of and fostered - in all things, hunters
- highly independent, usually dismissive of other Imperial organisations, trust few

HISTORY
- roamed out far and revelled in it, like the Khan for millennia. Upon initial mission statement of "attack all the xenos invaders in lost areas of Obscurus" chose Dark Eldar footholds with the background intention of beginning a search for information on the Khan's disappearance. Blooded themselves on them thoroughly and first developed their tactically subtle and cunning war style here, and began culture of terror and psychological warfare
- asked repeatedly to return, never do, too free-spirited (like the Khan but overboard), then threatened. Here begins negative imperial relationships
- went overboard in their compliance. "Want us to purge this cult? If you say so!" *eradicates cult, then sends specialist scouts to discover where original instigators of cult conspiracy started, do same to them and everyone they know*. "Want us to purge this new alien race? Sure!" *proceed to crush their forces and save the planet, then leave the current campaign and pursue them for decades until extinct*
- create reputation for being unreliable but effective and utterly thorough in their approach when they turn up/do as they're asked, leaving no job half finished and taking every mission statement to the Nth degree. Scare whole systems into long term compliance with their bloody reputation and creating safe havens for imperial populace before moving on again, never hanging around
- Created enemies and alliances (various stories written about these instances to flesh out their reputation and character)
- Kolduns all have vision that the Chapter must go and roam once more, "until called upon" - not seen again for X hundred years
- imperial record shows they suddenly return: the Kolduns have all divined that they must return to the Imperium, needed for a not yet clear but profoundly significant task to come. See themselves as fated and on an Emperor-guided path now, which they will journey on to its end no matter the cost

RELATIONSHIPS
- Marine Chapters: differs wildly depending on Chapter. More dislike them than are comfortable with them. Fiercely loyal to Scars and other successors
- Imperial Guard/general human forces: as above. Indifferent towards mankind, somewhat aloof but no inherent disdain
- Adeptus Mechanicus: neutral
- Ecclesiarchy: strained
- Inquisition: generally under close scrutiny whenever possible though certain Inquisitors quietly believe in their agendas
+++


There's more but it's late and I need to break it down into bullet points better. It's a start though!

If anyone has thoughts they'd like to share, I'm all ears smile.png This will grow and be refined in the weeks to come.

Edited by Draakur, 19 April 2017 - 06:08 AM.

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#2
Kelborn

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Liking it thus far.

 

How about Thunderlord or Tempestlord instead of Stormcaller? Stormstrider maybe?


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#3
Sete

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Maygar is used by the Mortifactors.

Public displays of cannibalism is reason enough to be excommunicated.

Overall i like it aswell.

#4
The Pariah

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The biggest question I have for you Draakur is how did the Librarians/Stormseers manage to gain such a place at the head of the chapter? What was it that meant that the chaplains didn't fill the void that appeared itself or that one of the captains didn't just simply rise to becoming the next chapter master? It's a big step for an advisor to suddenly fill the role of commanding a chapter and while we do see the Chief Librarian of the Blood Ravens take command of the chapter, it is a rare case and the Blood Ravens have been known to have more psychically gifted members within it's ranks but for the most part Librarians are still seen as advisors and such.

 

The second one I have is what drove them to inspiring terror into their enemies before taking them down? Do they do this to weaken their foes before killing them in one blow or is there another reason behind it all?


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#5
Sete

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Khan was a psychic, so i assume it only natural.
But if they emulate Khan so strongly, i believe they should focus on biomancy. To be the perfect swordman's.

#6
Badass_Spaz

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Welp, time to list off one too many questions- it's all the rage!

- So they're a Cursed founding, decent enough. Now, I'm wondering what misfortune has become their much undesirable baggage?
- Cannibalism should be kept within the locals, personally. However, I'm more curious how that certain bit made it into the Chapter in the first place?
- Not a question but since they're swamp people, have you considered Lovecraftian aesthetics...? (Taking any and all chances to suggest it. )
- Besides from an influx in psykers, why are they codex deviant?
- Can you go into detail about how they use psychological warfare?
- By god, please tell me your Marines stand firm beside mutton-chops and handle-bar mustaches... PLEASE!

Sorry I can't ramble like I normally do but time is scarce on my end, good sir!



#7
Draakur

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Replies! *knuckle crack*

@Kelborn
Ooh I like the Tempest part, we're definitely getting closer with that. Tempestborn, maybe (they were born with part of their soul in the 'tempest' of the warp?). Thanks, this is a good direction.

@Sete
Ah damnit about Magyar, right you are. I may need to dial back the public cannibalism then yes, I actually manage to forget at times that things like this are not usually made common knowledge to normal Imperial servants. Public flaying and beheadings, perhaps.

And yes, biomancy is where I was going, muscle wizards all the way for these guys :)

@Dizzyeye
The idea is drawn from the Homeworld culture. The initial training cadre leader is going to already be in awe of the Stormseers access to/communion with the Emperor - when he sees the homeworld's people set up with the shamanic class at the fore, this seems only just and right in his eyes and rather than abolish their customs when they ascend, he carries on the practice in the new Chapter.

I'm ok with the Tempestors (hmmm) being officially secondary in command to the Chapter Master but unofficially basically the leaders, with veto power in all things (this was more how I had them in my first drafts of these guys, actually). Does that maybe sit better?

Re: terror tactics, they developed this fighting the Dark Eldar for centuries on the fringes in their initial campaigns - rather than "take the high road" and look snootily down their post-human noses, they were not afraid to get their hands dirty and decided to learn to beat them at their own game to psychologically destabilise the enemy. Does this seem sufficient?

@Badass_Spaz
List away, brother :)

Like the Lamenters, they're seen as taint free to begin with, perhaps lucky or perhaps their malady just not yet obvious. As time goes on it becomes clear they don't just respect their Tempest Weavers (nah) but revere them, unquestioningly at the control of their divinations of how the Chapter should move and act. They're essentially seen as madmen and lunatics for this level of trust in (and dabbling with) the warp, unstable and untrustworthy. Upon finally returning 'recently' this sad truth seems to be born out fully for all to see - they believe themselves special now, on a huge spirit quest of cosmic significance, utterly at the whims of their clearly corrupt sorcerors who can only be puppets of the Dark Gods. If only they could see! Etc. Etc. They, of course, believe themselves utterly pure and on a path laid out solely for them now by Him on the great shiny massage chair.

For all I know they could be right! Haven't decided yet :) They'd make for interesting Tzeentch worshippers, though...

Re: cannibalism, more or less the same as the psyker leaders. Cadre leader always believed in the power of visions etc, which these shamans had now harnessed and made an art of, and the omophagea was given to them for using, yes? Was not afraid to take this practice on, always being of a more esoteric belief set. The cannibalism is in no way a frenzied, gore-flinging affair, but controlled and ritualistic always, with great care taken in each specific ritual based on its intent.

No Lovecradt here my friend, I'm afraid.

Yes, mutton chops and handlebars will feature, and proud will they be of them!

Psychological warfare would involve things like hacking planetary communication systems and forecasting chilling monologues of how they had come for their souls and would be barren of them by nightfall... Picking off enemy scouting elements and sending them back on automated drones with their heads cut open and brains missing, possibly... Things of this nature. This needs work of course.


Thanks everyone, keep them coming if you've got 'em!
ATTACK is the only order worth remembering

#8
Evz

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Nice, a fellow cannibal. I hope that works out for you better than it did my Chapter. Also, I really like the cossack stuff. If I may recommend, the Freeguild (and Empire hur dur) range from Age of Sigmar has a great number of heads that would fit the Cossack theme in all their mustached glory. 



#9
Draakur

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Thanks, brother! I'll have to check out your Chapter post haste, hopefully tonight when I get time :)

I like the Cossack theme too, I haven't done a lot with it up there yet but that flavour will find its way in more and more as time goes on. For now I see them as working out ok, for the most part. Largely because their seer caste is so consistently accurate in their foretellings, and the Chapter effective and valuable as a result. Outwardly they look like they could easily be tainted and being used by creatures of the warp, but they keep producing outstanding results in the name of the Emperor, so the powers that be are hesitant to look too closely...

And Yep all over those heads already! :)

+edit+
Mass typos.

Edited by Draakur, 25 March 2017 - 02:50 AM.

ATTACK is the only order worth remembering

#10
Badass_Spaz

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Before anyone starts yelling or declaring "The Inquisition would call them Traitors" I want to express the Imperium is far from a well-oiled machine. I wouldn't doubt loyalists Chapters haven't already turned traitor without anyone knowing. So personally, I approve of the potential traitor concept you have going. After inception, they fall off the radar and that's when the Chapters begins to shift more and more in psyker worship. The only plausible way I could see them getting dragged into an Inquisitors office is either; First Founding Chapter finds them, suspicious loony Chapter crinkles their noses and pokes around, find a Fallen, or do something so utterly outlandish that the Khan returns and says Come on guys, really. Are you really doing this?

Now, with my defense done in case those Inquisitor enthusiast come in here with pitchforks and torches, we need more exaggerated facial hair. Say the CM is contemplating a course of action, two serfs will be at either side grooming his pristine chops. Yes, truly that is glory made manifest!

Terror tactics needs work... A tad bit of work. No offense but that's downright heretical. Perhaps take another route. For instance, when it comes to Hive Cities or places dependent on outside fuel and/or food source, you starve them out. The outbreak of riots and civil disarray that would envelope is terrifying in itself. Cut off outside communication and let worlds tear themselves apart. As they do this, your Marines continuously operate against them via raids planetside and killing key figures. Use their dependencies against them... It's a thought!


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#11
Draakur

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Thanks for the continued support mate :)

I agree that they may not be so quickly burnt to a crisp at the end of an Inquisitorial melta. They're already off mimicking the Khan's way of life and being highly autonomous, completely ignoring anyone who isn't directly related to a campaign they're on as a result of a vision the Seers (still need a damn name here... Tempestkin? Given they are sort of one with the aether?) have had. And then, as you say, they up and vanish again all of a sudden one day, never to be seen again for a prolonged period of time until 'recently'.



I actually really like the "terror tactics" concept change, removing the more overt stuff and moving more into just psychological warfare, but of a slightly haunting and semi-sadistic type. This is a much stronger idea :tu: Cheers brother, going with this!

Thinking more, I want to make this strategically-inclined and cunning feel more of a big deal for the Chapter overall I think. From this new warfare approach, right down to their personality and approach to life: they're always plotting or looking for an angle in a situation, observing the lay of the land or their prey (hunter references again) and looking several steps ahead in order to A: lay a trap, or B: set a confrontation up so that it's heavily in their favour when the penny drops and things get ugly, or C: putting things together in such a way so that when the dust settles after a campaign, important people suddenly find themselves in their debt exactly when they could actually use a hand with this little problem, actually... etc. etc.



In essence, I'd like them to be known for outsmarting their enemies (and their allies) and having a calculating and guileful mindset. It still plays well into the hunter archetype I think, but addresses a different side of it that I don't think I've seen explored much before. Keen!

Oh also, I want my specialist scout thing done the way the Space Wolves do. I pretty much loathe them, but I don't care, the set up needs to be similar - I'll have initiates go to power armour early and be mentored by more senior Astartes (introduced to how to interpret dreams from eating brains, etc). Scout is a specialist role you choose further down the track.

What do people think?? Would love opinions or further ideas here.

And... I'll think about the moustaches :P I'm actually not kidding when I say I'm already half sold, it's why I decided from the get go that they'd be bald upstairs by choice but keep the facial hair. It'll be part of the general Slavic aesthetic, and help maintain a broad visual tie-in with the Scars in some ways, but mostly I just love big beards and fancy moustaches :tu:
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ATTACK is the only order worth remembering

#12
Donkey Kong

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Heavily non-codex

Why? Jaghatai Khan liked the Codex. It doesn't make sense especially if the Desolators idolize the Khan.

 

ritualistic consumption of the brain, heart and certain other organs can imbue one with the dead warrior's essence. Meaning depends on situation and ritual involved

Who's organs? Are they eating their fallen brothers? The practice could (morbidly) justify why the Chapter doesn't have dreadnoughts as well. I don't know if I missed it, but there's added significance in what space marines eat given the omophagea and the ability to learn by eating. This could factor into the Chapter's curse if as well.

 

For specialist scouts, consider neophytes are not necessarily "scouts". They're armored up as much as Imperial Stormtroopers. The Black Templars put them on the front lines. I would avoid arbitrarily putting neophytes in power armor and veterans in carapace armor for fear of channeling the Space Wolves. There's no reason why you can't have veterans in carapace armor doing forward reconnaissance.


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#13
Draakur

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Hi, KHK.

You're actually spot on with the Codex, I don't think I was thinking when I wrote that - just considered some of their more common tactical proclivities and threw it in as I considered how different they are in some ways.

Re: who they eat, the way I have it in my head right now is that it's both friend and foe alike, under various circumstances. Rituals of dominance are more common, where a worthy enemy's brain and heart are eaten to symbolically show they've been utterly defeated in the most absolute of ways? A great brother who falls may be seen as needing his essence to continue on in the Chapter and could then be eaten out of respect, where the ritual would change, etc. I've got a whole chunk of text written up on this but thought I'd be boring people with it and that it was unnecessary - that, and I've not fully decided yet.

The marines interpret the memories and sensations from the omophagea's effects as 'visions' of a sort and think they are predictive - they interpret them and use this information to inform how to behave in X way or area of their life.

With the scouts, that's fair enough, I guess I don't need them to be ONLY veterans...
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#14
LancsHotpot90

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Great stuff so far, gotta say it's made me look at space marines in slightly different ways as to what they're capable of?

I think that chunk of text you were talking about would be a great addition, it would be useful in exploring that side of a space marine that's rarely touched upon in lore. Maybe even describe a conflict situation between some imperial forces that was unavoidable during a particular campaign? I'd be interested to see how the chapters character would respond to such direct challenges from what are basically outsiders.
Also quick question, when fighting a chaos chapter (like the Death Guard for example) would they still eat them? If so would the corrupted flesh result in mutations? How would said mutations be dealt with?

As for a name for your Shamans, thinking about other words for "storm" what about referring to them as the Squall?

Thanks for an interesting read, I look forward to seeing models for these guys

Edit: missing the space key once or twice

Edited by LancsHotpot90, 26 March 2017 - 08:41 AM.

Brother Tark, why did the Tyranid break up with his girlfriend?
>I don't know, why?
because she had too much biomass
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#15
bloodhound23

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Excellent stuff, Draakur.

I particularly love your idea of the ritualistic consumption of the brain. I hope you don't mind if I *borrow* your idea, with significant modifications, of course.

More later and I look forward to this developing.

#16
Draakur

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Thanks both so much! :) Great hearing people are actually enjoying them, gives me hope that I'm genuinely onto something and not just deluding myself.

Only got a min here but I'll post what I have about the cannibalism, and get back to your specifics on situations with other groups etc, LancsHotpot90 :)

===
RITUAL CANNABALISM

Process:

- if a brother witnesses something worthy in an enemy, be it an incredibly accurate shot, great skill at arms, incredible fortitude and endurance throughout the length of a battle, or even just courage etc, he will try to kill him to take some of this quality. If he does, he can claim him

- if they have access to war zone post-battle, will return and mark corpses of the enemy they singled out, with personal rune to indicate ownership; gathered up by apothecaries for ritual soon after

- Apothecaries and Koldun tasked with dealing with ritual components and organising those to be consumed. All brothers eat, then meditate on harnessing the energies they have consumed. Chanting lead by Koldun and organised mass trance ensues to culminate in visions, which they will see with whatever significance may be relevant in the individual situation, or will ask for help from Koldun to interpret

- Koldun often hold own private ceremonies for other visions or rituals done with specific purposes in mind. Usually this is to divine certain information or see down certain paths that will inform Chapters movements and decisions

Details:
- physical is seen as housing the spiritual and mental...
- eat heart to harness courage and/or physical strength
- eat right hand to absorb melee skill and prowess
- eat left hand to harness accuracy from range
- eat lungs to take warrior's "breath", his physical endurance
- eat the muscles of the torso and trunk, to harness his speed
- eat tongue to absorb inspiring oratory skills in battle
- eat eyes to gain insight/wisdom; usually specific to enemy leaders, often only Koldun will opt to do this
- brain = seat of the soul itself: consuming and knowing how to harness this properly takes great spiritual discipline and maturity. Seen as both honouring a worthy foe (why bother taking a worthless spirit) but also symbolising complete domination over him. Predominantly Koldun do this, other warriors are not allowed until reaching a certain seniority or deemed ready by Koldun - once a warrior has been given this permission, he shows this status on his armour as a mark of pride, though no actual formal rank is assigned

Misc:
- on rare occasions the Koldun will see that a fallen battlebrother's essence is not finished in this world and must continue on in the Chapter - his brain must be consumed, and all those who would honour him and want this for themselves must agree on who will have that right. If they cannot, they must duel for it. Upon this consumption the passed hero's essence is believed to live on in the brother who consumed him, and only when a brother dies who has consumed others are the consumed also believed to have finally died

- this leads to some older brothers holding great respect and perceived spiritual potency outside of rank, for they may have consumed a few other fallen heroes throughout the centuries, who themselves may even have consumed one or more brothers of their own on rare occasion, etc... with the end result being a veteran who may have "accumulated" a great many spirits of his brothers by virtue of this passing along of essences

- The ritual is a different one and great emphasis is put on the honouring of the fallen brother and the Chapter's continued need of him, so that his spirit is not insulted by being consumed

- (Sidebar Lore: Warleader Styr, equivalent captain of the 1st Brotherhood, currently boasts the esteem and spiritual potency of the highest number of fellow brother essences passed down through the fallen, at a total of 11: having consumed Brother Vladimir, who he himself joined honour with Brothers Ewald and Geirr; also Warleader Stanimir, who he himself joined honour with Brothers Davorin and Ostoja; also Koldun Dobromir, who he himself joined honour with Brothers Vojmir and Miro, and Apothecary Ozren (having he himself joined honour with Brother Mirko)

- ^^looks wordy and unnecessarily repetitive, but is kind of meant to! Exactly how it would be recorded in Chapter history and would make perfect sense to a Desolator^

- Desolators seem to live anything up to an average of 10-20% longer than a typical Astartes expected lifespan - unsurprisingly, the Chapter believes this to be a result of these practices, a carry over effect of longevity that the consumption and harnessing of other warriors' essences grants them
===

Please go ahead and leave thoughts on all/any of this, guys!

Re: would they eat anything/everything? I'm undecided on a lot of this, but am very much flirting with the idea that to finally ascend from the rank of apprentice into full Koldun, the psykers must consume the spirit of a Chaos influenced being, and live through the coming ordeal/sickness untainted (I'm aware this is a controversial and difficult idea to handle well without just seeming impossible - need help on this one...)
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#17
Zhiv

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- Apothecaries and Koldun tasked with dealing with ritual components and organising those to be consumed. All brothers eat, then meditate on harnessing the energies they have consumed. Chanting lead by Koldun and organised mass trance ensues to culminate in visions, which they will see with whatever significance may be relevant in the individual situation, or will ask for help from Koldun to interpret

- Koldun often hold own private ceremonies for other visions or rituals done with specific purposes in mind. Usually this is to divine certain information or see down certain paths that will inform Chapters movements and decisions

All? Also, this sounds bit dangerous to be done on the field of battle. Perhaps someone (Koldun?) eat something as others watch as servitors / chaplains (?) gather the slain enemies.  I think that Apothecaries would  likely be busy giving first aid to the injured marines and harvesting gene seed. Perhaps the rest are devoured in ceremonies on board the space ships, out of sight of others?

 

 

Details:

Not sure you need this excessive list. Takes a lot of space, is bit cryptic and not ALL aliens have same bits. Why not just consume flesh ~in general.

 

 

Re: would they eat anything/everything? I'm undecided on a lot of this, but am very much flirting with the idea that to finally ascend from the rank of apprentice into full Koldun, the psykers must consume the spirit of a Chaos influenced being, and live through the coming ordeal/sickness untainted (I'm aware this is a controversial and difficult idea to handle well without just seeming impossible - need help on this one...)

in Soul Drinkers Sarpedon drinks liquefied brains of a mutant (taint!) to feel how he felt. So it's not THAT controversial.


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#18
Draakur

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Ok back again, proper replies this time.

@LancsHotpot90: Thanks brother :) I was actually very close to using your Squall suggestion, but then stumbled on Koldun (as you saw), a generic Russian term for Sorceror/Occultist/Medicine Man, which I loved.

@bloodhound23: Cheers man! Yes please, borrow away! Appreciate the support :)

@Zhiv: Sorry wasn't clear, I meant back on the ship, yes. And "all" is just whoever had a prize to eat.

Just provided all the detail because it was requested - didn't before because I thought it'd bore people and as you say, it's not totally sensible yet.

Will have to ponder on the collection of enemy dead. You're right in saying Apothecaries are likely busy at that point. Mm. This needs work, though it's not a critical point really.

Happy to leave most of the details of why they eat what etc out, or just find little ways to sneak them into fiction or something :) I feel I do need to keep a few specifics in there though, probably brain/heart/eyes or something like that - I'm going for a specific feel here, the rituals have purpose and I want to avoid any sort of language or descriptions that could be at all interpreted as "a bloody, frenzied feast".

Thanks for the response and all your work on this with me in the last few months - how do you think it's taking shape?? Is the direction solid, do you think?

+edit+
Detail added for proper answers, and fixing my phone typos.

Edited by Draakur, 27 March 2017 - 10:39 AM.

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ATTACK is the only order worth remembering

#19
Badass_Spaz

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Gotta say this but my Marauders would find this mildly amusing. Not a joking bunch those chaps but essentially turning your enemies into excrement after ripping disemboweling them is pure comedy. Don't worry brother, there are Astarte's who'd applaud your Chapters desecration of the foul enemy... Just avoid the details and let'em chuckle among each other.

Like Zhiv stated, perhaps steer clear of the nitty-gritty details and opt for a quick synopsis. For those that are interested, toss said details into a spoiler. People have short attention spans which is a god damn shame. Personally, I applaud the detail you've put into the ritual. You're not just throwing cannibalism in an attempt to appear savage and putting genuine reason and effort into justifying it. So hats off to you, my good man!

I'd advise further constructing the combat doctrine to emulate their tribal nature. You've made a step in the right direction yet I feel you could go further. Might I suggest an emphasis on gladiatorial arena's among captured prisons and heathens a like. Those who prove themselves strongest among their kin may have their souls redeem through the Chapters consumption ritual. Say a Librarian or Chaplains devours their brain, thus, absolving their soul. This also puts an emphasis on procuring especially skilled commanders and champions as oppose to outright eviscerating them.

BLOOD FOR THE GOLDEN THRONE!



#20
LancsHotpot90

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Personally I love the detail you've gone into, looking forward to more :)

Hey no problem man, thanks for considering the idea!
Koldun sounds awesome and actually suits them better tbh :D
Brother Tark, why did the Tyranid break up with his girlfriend?
>I don't know, why?
because she had too much biomass
>THUNDEROUS REVELRY
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#21
Donkey Kong

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I think the cannibalism details are questionable. Muscles of torso for speed? A hand for swordsmanship and a hand for aim instead of just hands for prowess? Eyes for wisdom instead of the brain? Tongue for oration? I like the spirituality behind brain eating though.

 

- (Sidebar Lore: Warleader Styr, equivalent captain of the 1st Brotherhood, currently boasts the esteem and spiritual potency of the highest number of fellow brother essences passed down through the fallen, at a total of 11: having consumed Brother Vladimir, who he himself joined honour with Brothers Ewald and Geirr; also Warleader Stanimir, who he himself joined honour with Brothers Davorin and Ostoja; also Koldun Dobromir, who he himself joined honour with Brothers Vojmir and Miro, and Apothecary Ozren (having he himself joined honour with Brother Mirko)

- ^^looks wordy and unnecessarily repetitive, but is kind of meant to! Exactly how it would be recorded in Chapter history and would make perfect sense to a Desolator^

 

I like this a lot.

 

Stealing a page from Kroot Shapers, I would say it's best to avoid eating Chaos taint. It might be something for the seers to determine if meat is pure or not. You could also have conflicting schools of thought within the Chapter on what's acceptable and what isn't.



#22
Draakur

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@Badass_Spaz: Much appreciated! Glad people are enjoying the ideas - I feel like I'm getting a roll on now and really liking how it's coming together.

I like the details too, and a spoiler is a perfect idea, cheers! :)

While I'm right on board with gladiatorial fighting between prisoners and the like (either for potential worthy consumption material or just sadistic enjoyment), I'm not sure I see it fitting these guys... I feel like they probably wouldn't be "playing with their food" like this. I'll have to think further on this but I'm not immediately feeling it I'm afraid. Will see what else comes up around this concept.

@LancsHotpot90: Haha cheers man :) Don't hesitate with other suggestions though hey?

@KHK: I think my idea was for the details to only make the loosest of sense, and be another nod to their strangeness and mysterious beliefs. The left or right hand? Why not the other way around? The muscles of the torso?! Why?! Who can say... only the Kolduns (or possibly the shamans of the planet, if I decide to take the roots of these specifics back all the way to the homeworld's culture) know such things.

Like fairytale witches and their eye of newt, mermaid's tears and the lock of a virgin... None of that garbage makes any sense. Which, I feel at least, adds to the occult aura of it all and enhances the feel.

Totally respect you not being a fan, but I think I'll be keeping at least some of it, and certainly the main elements we've all identified :)

Re: the potential taint or Chaos eating, you are, as always, wise. Will probably add this in yes.

I think contrasting views has potential yes, but I don't want to foster too much in the way of infighting or conflict within the Chapter. I actually see them as quite a harmonious group - their faith in and obedience to the Kolduns is absolute, and they do not even think to question them. Onlookers see this as a sign of lunacy, the Chapter's mad sorcerors at the helm steering their blind followers to damnation.

Very glad you like the sort of unofficial status/honouring of heroes via accumulating essences etc :) As soon as the idea struck I ran over and started getting it down as quickly as possible, very nearly incurring the wrath of the fair lady as I blatantly ignored her for the next 20 minutes. It was worth it.
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#23
Draakur

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Apologies for the double post - just wanted to note that I think I've come across a colour scheme I'm happy with. Tinkering now with finalising the Chapter symbol too. 

 

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Any thoughts or suggestions on tweaks would be welcome!


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#24
Zhiv

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Something bugs me with that color scheme, but I cannot quite figure out what. probably the issue's with three colors instead of 2. :P

 

Also, as for how things are shaping up, I think you ought to look for a existing good IA post from the boards (e.g. the castigators one) and use it as a basis to shape yours, working one paragraph at the time before moving to the next.  Ideas are there, you don't need to add anything, just clarify things.


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#25
Draakur

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Something bugs me with that color scheme, but I cannot quite figure out what. probably the issue's with three colors instead of 2. :P
 
Also, as for how things are shaping up, I think you ought to look for a existing good IA post from the boards (e.g. the castigators one) and use it as a basis to shape yours, working one paragraph at the time before moving to the next.  Ideas are there, you don't need to add anything, just clarify things.

Lol I felt the same to begin with - I've never gone for a scheme of more than 2 colours but for some reason I just like this.

Thanks for the vote of confidence :) I think you're probably right - will start putting together a proper article in the coming days now.

Any other opinions on the scheme folks??
ATTACK is the only order worth remembering





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