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WoL: XIIIth Legion - Dawn's Shield

War of Light WoL AU XIII Legion 13th Legion XIIIth Legion Hopes Bastion

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chapter master 454

chapter master 454

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-now I need to fix the HEADERS...GAH...now they don't look so cool B&C...why you forsake me? Regardless, going to be soon updating this to get something going again. Apologies for the lack of updates but, like the Dawn I shall arrive everytime the night descends-

 

XIIIth Legion: Dawns Shield

                                                         gallery_41387_14132_23633.png  gallery_41387_14132_19051.png gallery_41387_14132_23633.png

 

Pre-Primarch History

 

The legion started their service known as "Emperor's Enforcers" and they were a brutal peacekeeping force of the Emperor. Their colours back then were bland, their armour grey with only their eagle on their breastplate gold. These marines were tasked with making sure that the planets brought under the Emperor's control were kept that way with quick, sudden and remorseless tactics. The Emperor believing that swift retribution to rebellions would curb future issues, these marines held the idea of the Emperor as the only hope left for the humanity. While not the first legion called to bring planets into the fold, what was claimed would stay claimed as long as they were able. They would leave entire hive blocks a bloody mess, a monument to the rebels hubris.

 

Their primary unit during these is the “Pacification Squads” formed from the Emperor's orders. The core armament of the squads were “Astartes Pattern Riot Shields”; These shields are massive slabs of adamantium with light force field generators but also served as these squad's personal armoury. Each shield would contain an assortment of hand grenades along with a mace. Most marines would be equipped with boltguns, however a few in each squad would have grenade launchers for dealing with mass rebels or those hiding in cover out of the reach of a grenade throw. These units deployed at the front of any response to rebellions. These units would see use on battlefields as central blocks that the Enforcers would centre their attacks around along with defences, on the attack these formations marching upon the enemy forces with impunity while when called to defend these walls of adamant would stop all would be assailants from passing any further.

 

The legion however was not happy with their role and methods. Despite attempts by various captains to reduce casulities inflicted by the Emperor's Enforcers they lacked the knowledge, experience and equipment to do so and thus were held to the only method taught by the Emperor: Brutality. The marines influenced by their very genetic code from the primarch they were made felt what they were doing was wrong but held no way of fixing it. It is likely the Emperor knew of their discontent but saw no reason to intervene as more pressing matters of expansion were needing of his attention rather than one legions personal feelings. During this time, the legion longed and hoped for their primarch's discovery soon as they within themselves knew he would change things. He would be the primarch to bring hope.

 

 

Hope, Cradle of a Primarch

 

 Hope is a hostile planet due to cycles of the planet's orbit and rotation, only certain patches of the planet are habitable provided habitat domes are put in place. This means that space for life on the surface is limited but the growth of the human population.

 

These pockets of habitation were settled far back in the history of mankind before the Emperor came to form the Imperium. Of all the planets that were lost to then be returned to the fold of a human empire, Hope held onto it's technology fairly well and as a whole didn't fall back into barbaric states. This would be due to the planet being a key mining world and thus many pieces of technology were so important to living or work that each citizen was familiar with the workings of the devices, at least to a basic level. This continued use of technology allowed Hope's Population to remain large and varied between each nation. This name spawns from the initial surface city that is shielded under the dome as these cities are built upon massive paired causeways that spiral down to a central point. These massive quarry like holes were originally formed by long forgotten orbital tools or possibly weapons however this knowledge is long forgotten by all. The Domes that protect these cities that reside on the surface, called Helix Cities, take advantage of the planets intense exposure to its star and is in fact could be considered a gigantic solar panel that generates so much power that the nations have no concerns for power shortages and even have agreements to prevent overloads by offloading excess power that cannot be stored in massive battery banks to other nations who may need it during their period of time out of the stars light. This means that despite being covered or underground, Hope's population isn't adverse to light as every city not only imitates a day and night cycle more suited to humans but also has lights for these periods of night. These Helix Cities are the primary source of food for the majority of the population as hydroponics and the like is possible, the most fertile soil is found on the surface and thus much of a helix city is closer looking to a rural landscape than a typical imperial hive city.

 

Due to Helix Cities being dominated by farmland, living quarters and business maintained itself under each of these Helix Cities as the natural first expansion that occurred on the planet and thus have become the largest and most incredible part of any nation. Some built their cities to also being support pillars of their ceiling, massive elevator arrays moving citizens up these colossal structures while others maintain more tame skyscrapers however this is largely dependent on the size of the excavated area which was limited by easy to mine rocks in various areas while others may have had much more difficult to more stone such as granite. This variance lead to some cities having networks of roads and walkways that weave over, under and even through difficult minerals.

These excavations however were only the beginning. From these Capitials began cities meant as additional living quarters and staging areas for mining for precious minerals. While no nation ever had all the minerals they needed, each were connected by vast tunnels that were created in collaboration with all nations realising the need for trade. The distance between these nations is vast and even with constant mining over several thousand years, most of the planet still is to be exploited and these grand areas of untouched rock are could be considered Hope's version of oceans that were once upon Terra.

 

 However it would quickly become apparent wealth doesn't trickle down when the rich can buy bigger glasses and so several cities mining towns became ran down and were effectively slums and where the poor would go and those down on their luck. These towns however are found more around the outskirts of any nation and aren't always the case but their existence shows that wealth doesn't always go down the chain nor does kindness. The prime reason that these towns often fall into poverty is largely to do with some massive mining accident or cave in that completely halts resources coming from the town and most companies would rather just prospect new areas than attempt to clear the areas and make them safe, cheaper to move on overall as it takes time on top of money to make any caved in mining site safe once more. This means that workers that can move will go to the new sites or even other current running operations while those who can't for whatever reason are left with a city no-one cares for as it gives nothing.

 

Nations were surprisingly peaceful with each other. Due to distance and methods of travel, conquering the others would be difficult and on top of that no nation ever had all the resources they needed from their own mining. This means no wars were waged between populations oddly enough however there were always some form of corperate war ongoing, businesses attempting to buy out others, undercut their competitors along with various dramas between high profile companies.

 

As far as planets within the Imperium go, Hope is a promising planet with a general peace that had not threat to it. Such a prize and yet it would be claimed not by force but by careful play of the planet's own corperate game.

 

 

Arrival of the Primarch

 

 The Arrival of Reolius Dawn on the planet was an odd one. While not advised to travel outside the domes onto the surface of the planet, many do so to mine recently cooled lava pools which can contain great riches and resources however these chances are mere Terran Days and must be acted on quickly. It was one of these expeditions that on their return noticed a pod within a crater bearing a child. The miners took the child with them into the city and was sent to the Under-Capital orphanage as those in the Helix City have enough mouths to feed. The orphanage was located on the outer area of the capital and only in a decent state by the rich not wanting a derelict building nearby. Reolius was only adopted once the rich heard of a prodigy child was now living in the area, learning everything he could and growing extremely quickly. His name was given to him by his adoptive father, Farrus Dawn, who was one of the most powerful men in his nation seeing a powerful successor to his linage meaning his company would further dominate. Reolius would spend his short youth learning of business, mining and excavation methods. He was unnaturally enthusiastic and hopeful, something that wasn't repressed because it was also the source of his ability to learn. It would come that Reolius would inherit his adoptive father's business and while not the top dog would soon be.

 

 Reolius could be described as a beacon of light in the darkness of the planet's politics. While not overt or subtle, his tactics in business were bold and long standing tactics. While most companies would give minimum wage to their workers with no care, Reolius decided to go against the grain. The only reason the smaller shanty towns of miners were like they were was because profits favoured those who abused their workforce however Reolius saw this as a hindrance to progress and thus did what many considered madness: He spent his wealth on his workforce. While he still had much for himself, his lifestyle was considered mundane by those of similar station but the results began to show. The new mining towns he built were well maintained and given proper supplies and initially his rivals laughed at this decision but Reolius never stopped, even in the company's bleakest hour he had a smile on his face as the spending began to drive him to nearly nothing. The turnaround however was massive, with a workforce that was happy and safe his mining towns began to flourish and return massive profits not just in mining but in other trade such as shops for the miners that began to show up because of the larger and wealthier populations. This would see other miners leave their company and work for Reolius who was always welcoming all despite the costs it would cause him but yet it was this relentless spending on resources that saw his company become an empire. Eventually the Nation he lived in became his nation, having strangled out all other competitors. He achieved with true hope and selflessness what the others could not with greed and gluttony: A monopoly on his nation.

 

 Reolius was turn his gaze to the rest of the planet as his ambitions matched his cheer. The planet had long been interconnected by massive caverns that were made to help facilitate trade on a global scale. This was because while mining was fruitful, some had resources other didn't. One Nation's Helix City is the least exposed to the sweltering heat and thus managed to grow larger and thus produce more food and variety while another nation had the lone source of a rare metal used in constructing high quality machines. All were in the same state as Reolius' Nation prior to his arrival: Rich in the middle with the poor surrounding however he was already siphoning their power away. Due to the global nature of trade, news was not regulated strictly and soon people heard of the nation that suddenly became great to work in because of good pay, good conditions and while not high end it was comfortable living. This meant most nations could only hold onto their power by leveraging their unique resources and those who couldn't quickly joined into Reolius' new empire, now no longer a company empire but a global empire. These initial nations that joined soon benefited from Reolius reforming their methods of mining and soon were also siphoning population away from the greedier nations. It was only a matter of time before he knew a cornered rat would bite.

 The remaining nations who had something to leverage would unite under a loose alliance and attempt something that hadn't in a long time: War. These nations would launch a war upon Reolius that was quickly resolved as would be expected of a Primarch. The attacks were repelled as fast as they came, each city Reoius had was well built and the army of these were fit, well trained and equipped along with drilled information on how to prevent cave ins when fighting. This was in stark contrast to the almost conscript like armies of these nations who had only decent equipment from their own resources and even then the lack of training rendered them ineffective and often these armies poor understanding of the tunnels meant several forces were lost to careless cave-ins. Reolius used this transgression to swiftly assert full control over the planet and stood the ruler of a planet. In his long time before being found by the Emperor, Reolius would apply his methods to the planet and make it not just a bustling planet of resources and population but also reinforced it to becoming a fortress of near unassailable scale. This move was seen by those of his people considered unneeded as no-one could even get past the relentless inferno that is the planet's climate. Reolius however felt that something was coming. Something bigger than him.

 

 

The Discovery of the lost Primarch

 

 The Emperor would arrive to Hope and find a planet well reinforced. Seeing the planet's domes and the various new defense systems, he not only suspected one of his primarchs resided here but could feel something more, a well of power within the warp that wasn't like a psyker but more akin to a warm sun. Surely this is was one of his primarchs. Taking note of the planets hostile orbit and along with reinforced domes and planetary defenses he descended upon the world on his own within a small craft hailing peace, asking to meet with the planets ruler. He was welcomed, far beyond what he expected and was told he was expected for that their leader had felt his coming and was interested to meet this mysterious figure. While en route he saw the planet was thriving despite being underground, the domes were heavily reinforced to the point of being near impervious to any form of weapon fire while various sections of the cities were specially reinforced to ensure the ground remained stable even under the most extreme of seismic activity, be it naturally occurring or caused by heavy shelling. The people were happy, however he wagered this was just the best parts of the cities, no planet no matter what has a darker side.

 The meeting of the Primarch and Emperor was odd. Reolius openly greeted his father, though he did not know it yet, with open arms and would be surprised at being pushed back by the man who only explained he wasn't accustomed to such a welcome and instead offered a hand. This event would stick in Reolius' mind however for the moment he would not let it interfere with his welcoming, taking the Emperor's hand and giving a hearty shake, smile and introduction. The Emperor's response was clean, charismatic and to the point. He explained to Reolius he was in fact his son, one of twenty that he had made and were meant to aid him in reuniting humanity under one banner. Reolius would be a primarch that would be known for this even later into history but called the Emperor "Father", with a curt response from the Emperor gracefully deflecting the title and preferred to be known as "creator" purely because he did not sire any of the Primarchs naturally and thus felt it would be an incorrect title. Reolius would counter that despite not being a natural born, he was still the origin of his existence and thus he would call him father despite the Emperor's protest who would only tolerate it as a means to convince Reolius. Reolius, now aware of his heritage, asked if he too would receive a legion and was promptly answered with a yes, each Primarch had in their own way become fathers of legions and to Reolius would fall the command of the "Emperor's Enforcers" but this was not how the Emperor told him, instead calling them the "13th legion" as he measured Reolius as someone who may not take kindly to such a legion name. Of the Primarchs, Reolius took up the chance readily seeing as the Emperor's goal matched his. The fire in his soul for the task was burning and was ready to shoulder such tasks. The Emperor left the 13th legion with Reolius upon home, to let him build their fortress upon their now home world and for Reolius to become familiar with his legion and newly appointed ships. He was told to await orders, Reolius taking a slight to this but found it a great chance to exchange words with his legion.

 

 

Legion Reborn

 

 Reolius was horrified. He learned of his legions purpose from the first captain and was stricken with rage. This single event would lead to Reolius turning to his brothers and sister for council later in his history. Under the Emperor's command however he decided that to renounce the Emperor would be a poor choice and ultimately considered the acts of his legion just 'misunderstood orders' but would full well acknowledge they weren't. His first act for the legion was re-naming the legion, signalling their change. They became "Dawn's Shield", a legion dedicated to defending the future of humanity and would quickly learn of their signature tactics and wargear.

 Pacification Squads were discontinued as a unit however their wargear was re-purposed new units being developed. The shields were notably the most radically altered application in terms of purpose. Prior these shields were deployed to help push civilians back and make any weapons made have no chance of even causing a shattered optic null however under the new directions of Reolius he saw these shields as a great way of anchoring a position in battle and made these units a core part of most of his armies. Now dubbed "Bulwark Squads" these units serve as centre piece points of most advances, providing front line cover for supporting guns and units and in some cases being literal cover for important key units like tanks, even some squads being specially selected as Reolius' bodyguards. The remaining wargear of pacification squads would quickly dwindle out as the grenade launchers became more common among other squads as a general special weapon however the only exception to this was development of "stun" grenades for general thrown use and use in the launchers. However they often were met with mixed success and most squads equipped with them rarely find use for them.

 In battle now, the Dawn's Shield were ferocious defenders and unrelenting attackers. With their new Bulwark Squads, these units being able to ether press upon the opponent with armour rivalling tanks with the speed of a marine or on the defence were able to ether shore up any failing line with their staunch shields or even plug holes in any fortification. However it was the defence that they shone in as Reolius experience underground resulted in some extra benefits to any position the Dawn's Shield held. The Legion began practising siege craft down to the literal foundations of defence, using excavation equipment to create tunnels underneath their lines to allow construction of reinforcements to create ground that would never buckle along with allowing the legion to have unsappable walls. This meant even the most earthshaking attack would have no effect on a structure unless aimed directly at the target building as the ground would be inviolable from the legions work.

 

Combined with their new vigour and purpose with their Primarch now in command, they quickly went from being the most terrifying legion to any civilian to the most cheered as now their arrival to any planet signalled salvation from any attacker or rescue from any tyrant...even if that would be the Emperor in due time.

 

 

 

Legion: Dawn's Shield (Formerly: Emperor's Enforcers)

 

Colour Scheme: Orange with Yellow

 

Legion's Symbol: Rising Sun on a Tower Shield (Formerly: Tower Shield with a Sword)

 

Primarch: Reolius "The Bulwark" Dawn

Relics: Nevis' Bane (Drill-Spear) and The Red Line (Massive Shield)

Clad in ornate armour, large, but not terminator

Height (for what it's worth): 11'2"

 

Homeworld: Hope

 

Alignment: Council of Light

 

Found: 18th

 

Possible Rivalry:

Skyborn Legion. The concept of "Brain" Vs. "Heart". Thinking vs Feeling

 

Found: 940

 

Location of Hope: The Ghoul Stars

 

Themes:

Core Theme is Hope ala Gurren Lagann

Names will be mainly pulled from Scottish hertiage (like Gaelic, Gaa-Lic. Gay-Lic is the irish version).

Underground tactics and special tricks. Possible underground tunnelling unit.

Use of Scottish Myths and locations.

 

Current Synopsis: He is a primarch who once saw the emperor as the hope for the universe. The gleaming beacon that could bring all together under one glorious rule. However since witnessing the Emperor's callous nature, cutting down one of their brothers Reolius saw the first sage as the only hope left. Renaming themselves after a renewed finding of their belief, they now believe in finding their own hope with the council of light being the source of it. Their entire idea is finding the hope in such a dark future and if they find none, to be the hope, to be the light in the darkness. Reolius will stand against any darkness that comes, be it chaos or the emperor, he will not allow it to snuff out the light of hope to his very last breath.

 

Some notes for the Legion:
Cultural background inspirations are minimal, more of a concept inspired legion rather than cultural. Thus any units will retain more standard names unless unique. 

However one source of inspiration is Gurren Lagann. This Legion is to be a chapter of piercing the impossible and becoming a shining beacon in a universe of darkness.

One key note about the legion is the use of "Power Drills" over Power fists. These would act similarly to chainfists but would be very effective not just against metal but boring through even ferrocrete and similar other materials. There would be possibly rules regarding units with power drills actually digging under the enemy prior to a battle to only moments after the fight begins burst from below, or even setting up elaborate sinkholes that would consume entire armies with larger detachments. This could even expand to having unique legion tanks that are modified transports with drills for more express tunneling. Key Traits in regards to drills: Experts of making any ground they fight on theirs, ether reinforcing it with a series of tunnels that have reinforcing structure within to help hold a wall up or to remove earth so wall crumble under their own weight, Alternate Deep strike with the use of Drills.

 

First Captain's Regrets

 

During the long time the First Captain of the Emperor's Enforcers, he has had to act out many purges and brutal massacres. He had seen some of his brothers do similar deeds, sometimes the Enforcers were supported by other legions who helped take care of the population and none seemed troubled by their acts, not that he could tell if any harboured any sort of regret.

This emotion troubled him. Why did he feel a twist in his gut whenever he thought about killing these people, the only fear present was that of those at the end of his sword or boltgun? Why did his mind become so loud when the only noise that he knew was there was the burning pile of bodies? Nothing could best him, he was one of the Emperor's finest who lead those who knew no fear and would never yield yet something inside him, something more core than the indoctrinated thoughts and mental states kept him from having a clear mind in these times of peacekeeping.

 

As the body count grew of civilians, so too did this feeling. It wasn't anger, he knew what that felt like when dealing with Xenos who thought they were better. It wasn't Joy, it was unpleasant and he knew joy when he ended lives of those who would stand against the Emperor. Was this sadness? Why does he feel sad for these people? They opposed the Emperor, they are the enemy. They are...unarmed and unable to fight back. They cannot defend themselves, they cannot have a prayer, hope nor chance even against the newest neophytes within the legion. They were ill, old and young, too ill to stand, too old to run, too young to know. No matter how hard he tried, this nagging emotion he tried to master and make submit would not yield. He had mastered all forms of war yet this emotion bested him in all fields that he attempted to defeat it at. Why would this feeling, thought and emotion not leave him alone?

 

Over time, he was able to become numb to the feeling and ignore it but it was always there, always behind every word he spoke, every action he did, there was a notion of this sadness. Each swing a sombre master stroke, each shot a sullen bolt of justice. No longer just a solemn figure that ordered executions en mass, now those orders were given with a voice that no longer held the same power it once did, the same conviction it held. He lived this lie in the Emperor's name, his service now a shackle he wore. It was not a shackle he wore in solitary but in solidarity as his legion too suffered the same nagging problem. They too continued to follow his order just as he followed the Emperor's orders.

 

It is not known when the First Captain came across his revelation but it was a turning point in the legions life during it's time as the “Emperor's Enforcers”. As other legions regained their Primarchs, he started to see their change, a change towards who they were made from and saw some legions change drastically but some were just extensions of who they were made from. The first captain thought, what if this feeling is caused by who he is related to, who is primarch really is? Is this emotion a genetic fault of his primarch? Is his primarch a sullen, sombre and sorrowful individual, a grim executioner who takes no pleasure in his duty but does so dutifully? This revelation was what gave the captain new vigour in his post, it was a way for him to alleviate this cursed emotion and while it remained now knowing what it likely meant allowed him to cope with it far more effectively along with his legion.

 

However, despite this. There was one last part of that emotion he never truly grasped. He would never learn until the arrival of his primarch. The last of the emotion he never was able to understand nor grasp: it was mourning. Mourning in sorrow for those wastefully executed. It would be this small piece that would ultimately lead to his stepping down from first captain in shame.


Edited by chapter master 454, 20 June 2018 - 09:14 PM.

http://www.bolterand...rk-in-progress/ my own chapter, still working on it
"The objective of playing a game is to win. The point of playing a game is to have fun. Never confuse the two"

What do you call an Imperial Guardsman with a laser sight? Twin-Linked!

 

 


#2
Jagus Kumkani

Jagus Kumkani

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It will all come with time, but it's a good start! looking forward to seeing what you write next!


"We are noble of purpose, but are savage of heart. Do not mistake our somewhat prodigal nature for weakness. For we will paint our golden forms red with your flesh and bones whelp!" - Vusumuzi Chief Jabu Kosan, [Vusumuzi Honor Guard, 1st Pride, Xth Legion]

 

http://www.bolterand...golden-jaguars/

 

Writing Blog: https://fantasybrain...m.blogspot.com/


#3
chapter master 454

chapter master 454

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Updated to their new name


http://www.bolterand...rk-in-progress/ my own chapter, still working on it
"The objective of playing a game is to win. The point of playing a game is to have fun. Never confuse the two"

What do you call an Imperial Guardsman with a laser sight? Twin-Linked!

 

 


#4
Erasus

Erasus

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Hello Reolius!

 

I have come to bring darkness and misery! . . . . and questions!

I understand the intent here to be as positive as possible, my questions unfortunately do not come from the same point of view. So!

 

1) The Aquila on the Armour wasn't formally added to the Legions until after the Heresy, the exception being the Emperor's Children who carried out a lot of emissary duties, are the Enforcer's a similar exemption? or is this a mistake?

 

2) I imagine the Enforcers were only used on the most stubborn and potentially dangerous resistance groups? Seems a waste of Astartes otherwise. Does this mean the Enforcers have an intel network or do they use the Imperium's intel and attack the targets identified?

 

3) If they were so against this 'tyranny' why not try to do things different? Utilise tactics that aim for leaders and try to avoid mass casualties? Using hit-squads similar to the Alpha Legion's Headhunters?

 

4) The way the homeworld was written was confusing for me, but I'm not here to critique that, I imagine that will be worked on later. My questions are more about how Reolius makes things better.

- So for starters how does Reolius gain a massive turnaround? Building shops or allowing shops to set up independently and taxing their earnings would bring some back but not loads as its essentially whatever Reolius put in in the first place, you're minimising costs not gaining profits, you need trade from outside groups to make these profits and the rivals would stop that once they stop liking Reolius. Would happier workers produce much more ore and such? probably not to the scale suggested here.

- Are the workers not slaves then? Since they can freely quit their jobs and move over, why did they never riot or unionise to cripple their overlords?

- Do none of the rivals take efforts to stop workers leaving? Enforcers, shut down tunnels, incentives so on

- Do none of the rivals employ corporate espionage? Sabotage, propaganda, planned rioting among Reolius' workforce so on

- During the war, why do Reolius' armies have greater gear and tactics? The rivals have equally knowledgeable miners for tunneling, and more cash to spend on equipment as Reolius has to spend it on the ever-growing workforce. The enforcers of the rivals might be better trained too as they're used to combating unruly miners. Reolius' soldiers have never seen combat because they're so peaceful.

 

I'm not saying he can't take over using hope and selflessness, just that how he does it here is far too easy and convenient and I recommend changes.

I know this is a 'hopeful' and 'noblebright' origin but unless you want people to nitpick like I have then I suggest either bringing it to be more balanced or making it more brief and cutting extra details out, like exactly how he gets profits or how workers move over. 

I understand your viewpoint on 'not everything needs to be depressing' because it is unbelievable, but having a 'he did the nice thing and more nice things happened as a result, which led to this other nice thing and everything got better' is equally unbelievable. Sorry if that's blunt.

 

5) Doe the Emperor's Enforcers only rename to Dawn's Shield after the War of Light commences? Speaking of, why did Reolius keep the name Dawn? There's no mention of his father being a nice guy so why keep his legacy and rename the Legion after him?

 

 

That's it for now, overall I think there is a very strong idea here. I love the idea of Reolius being a shield or 'Bulwark' to protect the weak. The safety of the people is their ultimate goal and I can imagine them taking some heavy hits in exchange for protecting civilians, where others would accept the civilians' deaths as collateral to keep the Legion in fighting strength. I'm looking forward to seeing more of their culture post-Reolius and how they potentially reform their shield-bearing units from facing the people to shielding them.

Keep going!


Edited by Erasus, 06 January 2018 - 11:12 AM.


#5
chapter master 454

chapter master 454

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Hello Reolius!

 

I have come to bring darkness and misery! . . . . and questions!

I understand the intent here to be as positive as possible, my questions unfortunately do not come from the same point of view. So!

 

1) The Aquila on the Armour wasn't formally added to the Legions until after the Heresy, the exception being the Emperor's Children who carried out a lot of emissary duties, are the Enforcer's a similar exemption? or is this a mistake?

 

2) I imagine the Enforcers were only used on the most stubborn and potentially dangerous resistance groups? Seems a waste of Astartes otherwise. Does this mean the Enforcers have an intel network or do they use the Imperium's intel and attack the targets identified?

 

3) If they were so against this 'tyranny' why not try to do things different? Utilise tactics that aim for leaders and try to avoid mass casualties? Using hit-squads similar to the Alpha Legion's Headhunters?

 

4) The way the homeworld was written was confusing for me, but I'm not here to critique that, I imagine that will be worked on later. My questions are more about how Reolius makes things better.

- So for starters how does Reolius gain a massive turnaround? Building shops or allowing shops to set up independently and taxing their earnings would bring some back but not loads as its essentially whatever Reolius put in in the first place, you're minimising costs not gaining profits, you need trade from outside groups to make these profits and the rivals would stop that once they stop liking Reolius. Would happier workers produce much more ore and such? probably not to the scale suggested here.

- Are the workers not slaves then? Since they can freely quit their jobs and move over, why did they never riot or unionise to cripple their overlords?

- Do none of the rivals take efforts to stop workers leaving? Enforcers, shut down tunnels, incentives so on

- Do none of the rivals employ corporate espionage? Sabotage, propaganda, planned rioting among Reolius' workforce so on

- During the war, why do Reolius' armies have greater gear and tactics? The rivals have equally knowledgeable miners for tunneling, and more cash to spend on equipment as Reolius has to spend it on the ever-growing workforce. The enforcers of the rivals might be better trained too as they're used to combating unruly miners. Reolius' soldiers have never seen combat because they're so peaceful.

 

I'm not saying he can't take over using hope and selflessness, just that how he does it here is far too easy and convenient and I recommend changes.

I know this is a 'hopeful' and 'noblebright' origin but unless you want people to nitpick like I have then I suggest either bringing it to be more balanced or making it more brief and cutting extra details out, like exactly how he gets profits or how workers move over. 

I understand your viewpoint on 'not everything needs to be depressing' because it is unbelievable, but having a 'he did the nice thing and more nice things happened as a result, which led to this other nice thing and everything got better' is equally unbelievable. Sorry if that's blunt.

 

5) Doe the Emperor's Enforcers only rename to Dawn's Shield after the War of Light commences? Speaking of, why did Reolius keep the name Dawn? There's no mention of his father being a nice guy so why keep his legacy and rename the Legion after him?

 

 

That's it for now, overall I think there is a very strong idea here. I love the idea of Reolius being a shield or 'Bulwark' to protect the weak. The safety of the people is their ultimate goal and I can imagine them taking some heavy hits in exchange for protecting civilians, where others would accept the civilians' deaths as collateral to keep the Legion in fighting strength. I'm looking forward to seeing more of their culture post-Reolius and how they potentially reform their shield-bearing units from facing the people to shielding them.

Keep going!

 

So first things first just to have it stated. The Legion I have created is meant to be built from the ground up with a different mindset that is to attempt to make the legion stand out. The mindset is the use a more positive and hopeful drive to create a legion that has become sad not because of who they are but the results that befall them. In other words: The universe as a whole being grim dark takes a toll on them in a way that doesn't diminish their hope but the sadness comes from their blindness to their own possible fate, whether willful or unknowing of this is not known. The reason for the attempt to create the legion with a different mindset is in a sense a personal reflection of myself and a frustration with some aspects of writing within not just 40k but of late. The current trend with writing is to have some dark undertone to thing, something unbeatable and unrelenting that relates to todays world and life so we can 'relate' to it and feel for it. However there are more ways of doing this other than just making 40k one grand tragedy train of vain attempts. To me this drive for grim dark almost feels like people want to be depressed and almost feels like it breeds depression, something that I do not suffer and great deal of but have to cope with in my family. To create something in 40k that in a sense is born of the mold of grim dark feels like I would just be furthering an aspect of this darkness, the malign issue that I see that is worse than anything, I would say that I hate it more than an inquisitor hates chaos or xenos. To this end I build the Dawn's Shield with a resolute steadfast position that this legion must represent, act and have been at least to some extent a success. Something that actually did something in 40k that mattered. I will refuse to allow anything to ultimately crush the light my legion would represent as that would be admitting to something far greater than just critique: it would be admitting that depression can't be beaten (in my eyes). For me, I have grown weary of 40k's grim dark theme and have for a long time begun to get bored of the lore. A lot of it is really cool but I can't help but make one complaint: it never amounts to anything unless it is for xenos or chaos. I have enjoyed the return of Gulliman, the appearance of primaris as they stand for something I can enjoy: Hope. They represent a new future. That is what I want to carry in the Dawn's Shield through they rather over the top and heavily inspired style. I must sound pretentious but it is how I feel, I get annoyed every time someone complains about 40k "not being grim dark enough" yet they don't see what that means. Tyranids already effectively are the end of all things, Necrons once fully awake will wreck everything, orks are everywhere even beyond the milky way and chaos will forever exist until the very end of existence and emotion. How much grim dark do they want? For the Imperium to be destroyed, the Emperor killed and not return and for the galaxy to be a giant war between only chaos and xenos with no humans in sight?

Sorry but I had to get that out of my system. As the author of this legion I intend to be somewhat vehement on making the legion different. I don't want a 'flawed hero' in the sense of a flaw that comes about by itself. I am ok with Reolius' flaw being his strength: overwhelming hope. It works and would be fitting of grim dark to turn it against him but at the same time it does push him forward. It is what gives him strength and ability to win. He is the Primarch of the 13th legion, cursed in number to an ill fate but with hope they will defeat it or be annihilated by it. It is something I want to use, my favourite number is 13, I take it as a monkier even in my forum name (4+5+4=13) and I often take the saying most would say and state "13, lucky for me". My legion is in it's infancy and has to grow by huge leaps to get anywhere but enough prattle from me. On to your questions.

 

1. Aquila on the armour in the image isn't really meant to be there however I think it may be a fitting image for them as they are a form of ambassador. Just a little more forceful than most to those who thought the terms of joining were open door. To be honest it is likely they do not have it in their final image and will have something else on it however that comes down to whatever chapter generator allows me to add really.

 

2. They are dispatched as needed to quell rebellions. The Imperium will take note of these uprisings and send the Enforcers if needed for whatever reason which can be several. A small rebellion may receive the wrath of the enforcers due to it being an important world for whatever reason be it resources, factories or possibly a key location for moving around the Imperium as a whole. Larger rebellions will naturally receive the Enforcers as an initial force followed by the proper organisations to fully eradicate the issue. Other than these roles, they will be deployed to front line battles when needed.

 

3. Not given the resources nor the time for such things. The Emperor wanted obedience from his subjects and he would not be kind with it. If you rose up against him expect his ire and thus he had the Enforcers made to be a brutal tool. After all there are better ways of getting information from someone but torture is part effective tool part mental warfare. For the Emperor, a brutal crushing of rebellious people would help stick in their minds that doing so is fruitless as the force he commands is this powerful. The idea is is to send a message, not be gentle. He sees it as a means to prevent further rebellion because that way it helps self enforce if people will then after take care of rebels because they don't want to be caught up in another massacre. Similarly, the Enforcers were also under a similar rule from the Emperor with no choice but to follow orders. They didn't like it but not exactly had a choice in the matter.

 

4. This is a complicated topic. The main thing here you are asking is for me to go into great depth of the world ITSELF and not just in general which to my belief would fill a novel to explain the planet and the Primarch's upbringing and tactics which would then require deep understanding of several facets of business and so on for such a thing. The idea of this section is to give the TL:DR version of the events rather than going too deep into them. After all, going too deep into this section would inflate things greatly and while I think it would be awesome for this project to one day have a spin-off project or possibly a sub-project that is a form of the Horus Heresy series where each primarch may even have their own novel, it is not the goal of the initial project as far as I know (but that is open to me being corrected. I have been many times). To say the least, to develop all the reasons for the questions raised would just cause needless inflation of lore that i would feel becoming tedious and boring rather than interesting for most. After all, this is supposed to act like a section out of a codex (and extended section most likely) rather than a full book or novel by itself. Sorry if I kind of dismiss your question but I feel the details there will ether be ironed out over the course of improving the legion or will not be ultimately important enough to warrant putting into the legions own page (and would be more deserving of a short story possibly detailing the events that took place on Hope).

 

5. They Re-Name upon the discovery of their Primarch as he takes full control of them. From there, the legion gains someone who has power and the ability and knowledge on how to quell rebellions more peacefully. It is possible at this point Reolius would give the legion the ability to perform what you mentioned earlier: Hit squads and more targeted attacks on rebel circles rather than broad strokes across the population. Prior to having him, they didn't have anyone who had such tactical acumen however Reolius does (and it may be something I might consider in his actual lore, after all it may be during his upbringing within his father's company he gets a chance to quell a worker uprising and does so with more subtle methods than what his father may of employed. Note this does hint at what you asked: there may of been some less nice things going on. Don't worry, Hope doesn't stray too far from the grimdark workplace!).

On top of that, his father was not the nicest man however he did give Reolius a home, food and education. He has a appreciation for this and the hospitality he received despite not being his father's biological son. Reolius keeps his name for this reason and in his mind even likes the name as it is something he finds inspirational.

 

I hope this answers some of your questions and I hope I wasn't too stubborn but it can be difficult to answer questions that go on such broad topics. So sorry if details are light but I am still working on getting the legion into order. Everyday I see numerous posts in the discord and I feel like I need to get a move on. Don't want to fall by the way side...do that enough as it is.


http://www.bolterand...rk-in-progress/ my own chapter, still working on it
"The objective of playing a game is to win. The point of playing a game is to have fun. Never confuse the two"

What do you call an Imperial Guardsman with a laser sight? Twin-Linked!

 

 


#6
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Massive overhaul of the planet, Hope. Looking to see what others think, other feedback for it. Note I also split the planet's description and Reolius' arrival apart as both deserve their own section


http://www.bolterand...rk-in-progress/ my own chapter, still working on it
"The objective of playing a game is to win. The point of playing a game is to have fun. Never confuse the two"

What do you call an Imperial Guardsman with a laser sight? Twin-Linked!

 

 


#7
chapter master 454

chapter master 454

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Doing a bump to get the legion back up on the front here. Got a small piece done regarding the first captain and would like some feedback if possible. Want to try this part out and maybe work on some other things for the legion as I go.

 

Also...currently got some stand-in formatting since there was an update sometime that broke my beautiful headers T.T


http://www.bolterand...rk-in-progress/ my own chapter, still working on it
"The objective of playing a game is to win. The point of playing a game is to have fun. Never confuse the two"

What do you call an Imperial Guardsman with a laser sight? Twin-Linked!

 

 






Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: War of Light, WoL, AU, XIII Legion, 13th Legion, XIIIth Legion, Hopes Bastion

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