Think tank: adding colour to dialogue scenes

[bluntblade]

They're important, they're pretty much* inevitable when writing fiction, and they're easy to make very boring indeed. So, let's discuss ideas for giving them a bit of flavour. I'll start:

 

- Don't be too on-the-nose with the exposition. Show Don't Tell still applies here: a character can defer to a superior rather than stating outright that the other character is senior to them.

- Use the environment to give the audience "visual" interest. Have characters on the move or things happening around them.

- In addition to the above, one way to lighten the load of "said"s or substitutes is to use character actions to emphasise who's talking.

 

*OK, At the Mountains of Madness didn't need one.

[bluntblade]

I wanted to give an example for the latter point, from Scars. The first time Henricos speaks, he "let(s) slip a low growl". Might not seem like much, but it makes you look twice, and gives him some subtle characterisation. He's holding back his emotions, and when they emerge the first thing you notice is anger, something primal.

[bluntblade]

Reading Ancillary Justice brought something else to my attention: body language. It can be a gesture, a shift in someone's posture or even a raised eyebrow, but it can help break up a conversation a little and add a little nuance.

 

Plus if you're trying to sell a character's superhuman intelligence, then it'll help them look smart.

[Cpt_Reaper]

Oh, I was discussing this with my old man just the other day.

 

We frequently compare a Matthew Reilly with C.J Box and the late, great Tom Clancy.

 

Reilly tends to spend ages using overly flowery words to have a character say nothing really at all.

 

Box can have his character (in this example one Joe Picket) say everything that needs to be said with a simple "Yup."

 

Clancy has the ability to have his characters convey a message through what they don't say. This could be from body language, facial expressions or the implication of the words they chose.

 

Take the phrase I won't kill you.
I won't kill you. Implies the speaker won't do the killing. Who will?

I won't kill you. Implies the speaker won't kill. Is this a promise or are their hands tied?

I won't kill you. Implies the speaker won't kill, but is torture on the cards?

I won't kill you. Implies the speaker won't kill the subject, but maybe someone else.

 

Just some of my thoughts on dialogue.

[Jagus Kumkani]

I haven't written anything in months. I have a hard time with dialogue. I'll use this tips to better illustrate my characters and what's going on. I find I overthink when I want to write and then nothing ever happens because I'm trying to make it perfect instead of just writing. 

[bluntblade]

I think the trouble is that it needs a light touch, just conveying the necessary information and no more.

 

I read a book called Ice Company the other week which admittedly is translated from French, but really illustrates overdone exposition in dialogue. At almost every stage dialogue will be used where the narrative could do the job less intrusively, characters will voice at least one more detail than feels natural, etc.

[Jagus Kumkani]

Ah I see. That makes sense. I feel I just need to practice, just write, get the necessary information out as you said and utilize my characters to anything else. I put it practice. Thanks Blunt!

[bluntblade]

TV Tropes might be handy for identifying tools to use and be wary of when writing these sorts of scenes.

[Slan Drakkos]

I was just considering writing a story. I'll keep my eye on this thread.

[bluntblade]

One thing I've been returning to recently, particularly where exposition is concerned, is giving the scene a point beyond informing the reader. This can take the form of an argument or interrogation, overt or covert. You want to have some sort of conflict which drives the scene. Otherwise you're in danger of delivering an Exposition Scene, the sort which drains a story of energy.

 

A good example is, once again, in Path of Heaven. Ilya goes to see Qin Xa, and we get a discussion which tells the reader things about the Warp and the Scars, specifically their understanding of it. But it's framed specifically from Ilya's perspective - Wraight uses her as a textbook Watson/Winston Zeddemore (Tropes Aren't Bad provided you know how to wield them).

 

You can also see this in Inception or The Last Jedi, which both frame their mentor/pupil relationships in mildly antagonistic ways. The Empire Strikes Back method also works, with a less antagonistic relationship but still one where the protagonist is still confronted to a degree by their teacher.

 

Other, less contentious examples and alternative approaches are of course welcome.

Edited February 14, 2020 by bluntblade