Hobby and Mental Health. How do you cope?

[Halfpint100]

I second mindfulness! There are several great apps which lead you through it and have helped me through some rough patches in the past. Well done to everyone for having the courage to admit these things though, it must not be easy.

[techsoldaten]

Miniatures became very important to me after my father's stroke.

 

I moved back to take care of him, he didn't receive a diagnosis for the first year but was dealing with full blown dementia and TBS. Untreated, he would furiously rant for hours at a time, sometimes for several days nonstop, until he was too exhausted to go on.  There were some extreme behavioral issues as well. It took about 2 years before he was getting the right medication to treat the symptoms. For that period, I just needed something quiet I could do while I sat with him.

 

I realize this isn't the same thing as PTSD. But the emotions were hard to deal with, watching him diminish that way came with a certain horror. Painting kept me calm and gave my imagination something else to do besides focus on the awfulness that was creeping in on us. There were these long days where the anxiety kept me awake all night, I could pick up a brush and 'turn off' for a while. It helped, thinking about the fluff helped, doing mental exercises around odds and statistics helped, looking at the art helped. It's not the only thing I did, but it was the most tangible.

 

Anyways, after he went into assisted living, I continued to paint. There's been times I can execute masterfully and times where I'm just a disorganized mess incapable of creative output. For me, a lot of it has to do with quiet. When there's not a lot else going on, I don't seem to be capable of much. When there's something exciting in life, like a team in the playoffs or a business deal or something with politics, it picks back up for me.

 

In other words, when I have the time to paint, the spirit of the potato overrides my imagination and I might as well be swapping brushes for thumbs. When I don't have the time because other things are happening, the opposite is true - I turn into a 28mm Michaelangelo. The situation is incredibly frustrating. Seasons seem to have something to do with it too, I've noticed October and January are the months where my motivation goes kaput.

 

I monitor my thoughts a little bit. There's days where I feel extremely guilty for not doing more for someone I care about - not that I could have but that there wasn't a way to do more. Feels like this undermines me a little bit, letting myself feel ineffective in one area makes me nervous about others. One thing that helps is math and puzzles, anything that I can 'fix' helps clear out the weeds and get me back to the point where I can go on.

 

But it's always there. I feel for anyone going through something similar.

[BadgersinHills]

I've been away from this forum for a while because of this, and when I saw this topic I thought I'd share my experiences. I have OCD, which has definitely impacted my hobbying and brought the quantity of stuff I've worked on really down. I'm sitting down to do some hobby today after a long time of not touching my stuff, though I expect it'll not be the most fruitful session but hey, putting a marine together will be fun after a while. 

[Subtleknife]

Not sure how much help I will be since I have not ever suffered with depression et al nor do I think i ever will and I do therefore have trouble relating to people in my life that do unfortunately suffer from the likes. However, have you thought about audio books etc. That way you are still in the hobby but not having to paint etc. Maybe a subscription to white dwarf as it gives you something to look forward too. Or perhaps watching bat reps. I dont have a lot of time to paint but I always found entering comps forced me to paint stuff. I have often seen online painting comps that could be useful for this. Not sure this will help but hope you feel better. Edited February 19, 2019 by Subtleknife

[Mendi Warrior]

First of all, you have my sympathies and my best wishes.

 

My wife had a burn-out, it took her about 3 years before getting back to work (part-time). Since then, she can't cope well with stress and is still fragile, she regularly experiences anxiety and is quite constantly tired. In addition to her medication, she practices meditation, now on a daily basis, which helps her. She also does crossword puzzles and ocasionnally draws and paint (but no wargames models though). Me and her son also support her the best we can.

 

Without getting into the details, I did loose my job in April 2015, and since then I tried to get another one (I am still trying). It seems I'm considered too old, too experienced, too expensive, ... but that is another story. In order not to loose my mind, I have come back to wargames and models. I have a pretty huge pile of shame (I am a collector, sometimes bordering on OCD), so I made an inventory of all my models. Then I started building some that were either still on sprues or in blisters (sometimes bought 20+ years ago). Then Adeptus Titanicus was released and I plunged deep into it, pushing myself to new challenges (e.g. magnetising, using a dremel, improving my painting, …). One step at a time, a small one or a big one, sometimes I do nothing concrete for days, then all the sudden I go more active.

 

Another thing I do to cope is to follow online courses on https://www.edx.org/ There are various topics, in various languages, different formats. There is maybe something of interest to you.

 

I also listen to music, depending on my mood, and I try to visit a few specific art shows to break from staying home most of the time.

[GrinNfool]

Hey man I am sorry to hear about all this, life can really suck sometimes, and when things are hard its hard to find motivation to do much.  I had a son who died in NICU and after that it was extremely hard to find motivation to do the hobby, and of course re triggered my depression.  I will admit though that what you are dealing with is beyond the scope of my experience though, but I did have a couple thoughts, and wanted to share on the off chance they could be of some help. 

 

I think you have two realistic choices here and thats continue the hobby or find another coping mechanism.  I can understand the want to continue the hobby but you have to put yourself first and keep yourself healthy even if that means looking for something else to help you stay happy, I can't comment as to what that might be for you but maybe looking around trying to find something you can enjoy would be reasonable.

 

As for continuing the hobby my best suggestion is going to be a hard one for you based on what you described.  You need to find a good friend to hobby and play with.  They can hang out and paint with you, talk to them about the setting, and get some games with them.  It would also help you get out of the house if you were going somewhere with a good friend.  As someone who has depression myself I know how hard what I said can be to do when you are in the midst of it, so I am not making light of you or this, and don't want this to come off as any number of fools out there who will say "just get out of the house".  However if you want to do it fight for it push for it and push out any thought that counters what you want, focus on your goal always.

 

Edit: One more thought, one of the things I did to start getting myself back into the hobby after I lost my son was setting a timer to paint not a goal.  I started at about 15 min, didn't matter what I got done or didn't I'd paint til the timer went off and stop.  Eventually I started wanting to continue past the timer, but forced myself to stop anyways.  Due to that I began looking forward to painting the next day to get done what I had wanted to continue when the timer dinged.  After a while I found my interest in the hobby had returned.

Edited February 19, 2019 by GrinNfool

[Ascanius]

Not sure how much help I will be since I have not ever suffered with depression et al nor do I think i ever will

 

Fingers crossed!

 

However, have you thought about audio books etc. That way you are still in the hobby but not having to paint etc.

 

I think this is a good suggestion! I've definitely steered my hobby interest towards audiobooks when I don't have the desire or attention span to paint models.

 

For the OP and others who do have mental health challenges, I think the main thing is to allow yourself the room to let the hobby lie fallow for however long it takes for the desire to return, without beating yourself up about "unfinished projects" or "wasted money". You'll get to it eventually! Even if you don't, you might be able to give those models away to someone new to the hobby who can't afford to buy in as much as they'd like, or sell it off.

 

The main thing I always try to remind myself is that I know my interests come and go, cycling from one to the next and back again over time. I have to trust that even if I've lost interest or ability right now, I can expect it to return eventually.

[Cpt_Reaper]

If I may throw in my experiences,

 

Depression has kicked my arse pretty hard in my 27 years. I'm not proud to say that it's caused a fair amount of damage, but I am still standing.

 

40k is very near and dear to me as it has helped me keep my head above the dark abyss of depression (officially diagnosed in my last year of high school...and was considered a late diagnoses).  It has brought me friends and a social life, who in turn continue to push me to keep going. When my friends asked me to go to a tournament a few years ago I was so happy I was invited but knew I would come dead last. Not only did I not come dead last, I have a trophy for best sportsmanship sitting on my TV unit now (I am exceedingly proud of that).

 

The best thing I can suggest to do is display your models in your home. Every single model you build is an achievement, a trophy for your dedication and should be shown off as such. Doesn't matter if they are painted or not. You put time and effort into something. Take pride in that. 

 

This hobby offers so much. Building, painting, writing, reading and gaming. You make that happen and nobody can take that away from you.

 

_{Tried not to get too into my life story and overshare. I just hope the things I've learned the hard way can help others.}

[templargdt]

CMDR_Welles- 

Sorry to read about your struggles, I will put you on my prayer list.  I went through a stress related break down and depression several years ago.  It took me about 3-4 years to fully recover.  I lost interest in literally everything.  For me, recovery came from a combination of A) support from my family, B ) working with my pastor and prayer, and C) medication.  I also found that exercise and time outside in the sunshine or by running water (beach waves, river, etc) was helpful.  Obviously if you are suffering from Agoraphobia the outside part won't help.  Do you have access to some exercise equipment?  Even some free weights would be good, cardio plus weights would be better.  
 

GrinNfool-

That's heartbreaking about your son.  Bless you.

Edited March 2, 2019 by templargdt

[MegaVolt87]

For me when I left, I just went back to basics. Reading the lore, checking the net for conversions + fully painted stuff and the odd battle report. You shouldn't feel obligated/forced to stay with a hobby if the enjoyment is not there. Plenty of other things to not enjoy where we don't/ can't have a choice in not doing. 

[GhostMalone]

In regards to the OP

 

Mental health is exhausting, but honestly if you try do your hobby when you have mental health stresses issues that aren’t being prioritised it can effect your enjoyment of your hobby.

 

I personally went through a dark period loosing the love of my life, completely going all out with self destructive tendencies and tried to ignore my deteriorating mental health. Whilst doing this I tried to keep building up my hobby and my skills to become a professional airbrush artist and ended up hating myself and my hobby and found little to no enjoyment from it.

 

Now that I’ve taken the time to improve myself I’ve found I can enjoy Warhammer a little more, so if you ever need support I highly reccomend reaching out and prioritising it as not only does it effect your hobby but every other facet of your life.

 

I know it’s cliche but always here when it comes to this type of thing

[Guest MistaGav]

I find that the hobby is a big form of catharsis for my depression and anxiety in particular the painting and building aspects. It's a good mindless activity that I can do in my alone space and something I can focus on and see something evolve over time. I actually wish I could get into the gaming side more as the social aspect would probably do me some good to be honest.

[BitsHammer]

I have PTSD from a rough first combat tour, and I tend to bottle stress pretty hard. For me building models and painting them is a release valve that helps quite a bit.

 

So for me, this hobby is what helps my mental health rather than drains it.

[Axineton]

I’m type 1 diabetic and depression is a big thing for us apparently. I’ve been actually feeling down and overwhelmed with how much stuff I have lately and I don’t really want to start feeling depressed so for my mental health I’ve decided to sell off everything unbuilt and in boxes except a few boxes of GSC and Harlequin stuff. Plus I’m taking a break from the hobby for a few months as well I think so I’ve packed all part painted stuff away and got out my dj gear to clear my head.

 

That’s how I’m dealing with it personally.

[Hantheman]

I have PTSD from a rough first combat tour, and I tend to bottle stress pretty hard. For me building models and painting them is a release valve that helps quite a bit.

 

So for me, this hobby is what helps my mental health rather than drains it.

 

In the UK there's a charity called Models for Heroes that work to use model making as a stress-releif/support for vets. It's a great idea

[BitsHammer]

 

 

I have PTSD from a rough first combat tour, and I tend to bottle stress pretty hard. For me building models and painting them is a release valve that helps quite a bit.

 

So for me, this hobby is what helps my mental health rather than drains it.

In the UK there's a charity called Models for Heroes that work to use model making as a stress-releif/support for vets. It's a great idea

Not going to lie: that's pretty cool.

[Ahzek451]

Been a huge fan of warhammer since middle school years ago, but for the last 2 years fighting cancer it has been a wonderful distraction and the only one that seems to work. During all of it, video games, movies, shows, other hobbies, etc. Just didn't have the mood or energy for any of it. But somehow I had energy for warhammer. And it has helped to give focus and hope. During my worst days, I could still manage to follow all the news on facebook, read forums like this, and just live vicariously through others watching youtube battles like tabletop tactics to help keep my mind pre-occupied and away from negative thoughts. So thank you GW and all those involved. 

[Mazer Rackham]

Whenever I see a topic like this pop up I want to help.

 

A lot of good advice and kind words are given here which I can only echo.  Depression, anxiety and a Nervous Breakdown are things that have happened to me.  Some people will just tell you to pick yourself up, brush it off.  They're wrong - it doesn't work like that.  A lot of people think that only weak people suffer from these things.  They're wrong too.  You've been holding the doors of your own hell closed, by yourself, for too long.  That takes strength and that's why you're going to win this in the end.

 

So how do we win?  Victory by inches.

 

You paint 1 Marine or even a damn boltgun?  Victory.

You look outside and tell me what the weather's like? Victory.

Come to the forum and have the courage to post like that?  Victory brother.

 

Read the forum until it bores you, paint until you're fed up, play, chuck dice, open a window for five minutes, bake a cake with Marneus-bloody-Calgar stuck on top with a candle on his bonce, whatever - but keep doing it, because to give up is the worst thing you can do - and this extends to your meds.

 

Ask for help.  Take any offered, no matter what it is, even if you think it might be useless, there may be one thing comes out of it, even if it's the determination to keep going.

 

That's my take at least.  I don't know if what I said helps or even makes sense of what you're dealing with or how, but I want to tell you something else and if you take away nothing more, take this: You are not alone my brother, we are here for you and we are proud of you.

 

MR.

[Hrvat]

I have started therapy little over a month ago and got drawn back into 40K setting shortly after. So far I have found it very helpful, even though getting myself to glue and paint is hard but I am trying to incorporate it into my daily workout routine.  

[CMDR_Welles]

Thanks everyone who has replied. It helps knowing I am not alone in this. I've not really done much hobby this year, I've got a new psychiatrist, so I am back on the medication rollercoaster... Its been hard to do anything more than check B&C from time to time, and the odd reply or two. I have been doing more leatherworking (making some dice trays right now, and hopefully some dice cups soon) though, so I am not completely inactive. 

 

I did have some good news last week, though I am still unsure how I am dealing with it. Its left me numb and not feeling any of the feelings I know logically I should be feeling... After over a year, my appeal for Social Security Disability was finally approved. This means I'll be able to help more with our living arrangements, and less of a strain on my mother's limited income. Being able to pull more of my own weight should be a relief (the not knowing if I was approved was bad enough), and yet, I feel more trepidation and worry than I did before... It could also be that my new meds/doses are screwing with that, so I am not trusting my feelings at the moment. I dont know why I am sharing all this, but oh well. 

I hope I can get more hobby done soon. Mother wants me to set some money aside each month for my hobby so that I can have things to do. I'm planning to get the rest of the Death Guard I want to add to my army soon. Hopefully, this will energize my hobby again. 

[Stoic Raptor]

I'm glad to hear that things are getting a little better.  Any small victory will help.  I know how it feels to have one of those runs where every time you think you've been kicked down, life kicks you lower.  Times like that, any kindness is like a light at the end of a long, dark tunnel.

 

I've been struggling with bipolar disorder and anxiety (that usually manifests as anger) for most of my adult life.  Left untreated, it destroyed some of the best things in my life - relationships, jobs, friendships, financial security - all because I thought I was strong enough to make it on my own and that seeking treatment would be a sign of weakness.  That was a mindset that didn't help me much.  When I started a new job a few years ago - the best opportunity I've ever had - I went back on the medication I'd discontinued years ago when I left a horrible job and lost my health insurance.  Getting back on the meds helped - but the stress of the job led me to a breakdown.  I went on medical leave for three months and went to therapy sessions twice a week.  I'm fortunate to have a great therapist and cognitive behavioral therapy has allowed me to take my life back and even more, to succeed where I would once have crumbled.

 

I hope you can eventually find a therapist that will help you like that.  In the meantime, to the topic on hand.  Hobbies should benefit your mental and emotional well-being.  Sometimes you'll enjoy doing them, and sometimes you'll have no interest or motivation.  That's the depression talking.  Mazer said it all so well - not just with hobbies, but with day to day living.  Every accomplishment, however small, is a step in the right direction.  Get out of bed - people take it for granted, but that's an achievement some days.  Take a shower.  Get dressed.  Eat a meal.  Each little thing you can do helps your overall well-being.  Take care of yourself as best as you can - and realize that "me time" and pocket money are part of that, whether it's expressed in this hobby or something else.

 

I know that doesn't sound particularly hobby-related, but you can't expect to enjoy your hobbies if you're neglecting your basic needs.  When it's time to sit down and do something, do what interests you.  Don't feel like you "have to" do anything.  But maybe look at what you want long term, and take it on in small steps.  If you feel like finishing a particular army would be a great long-term goal, break it down into smaller goals.  Paint one guy.  Repeat as able, and you have a squad.  Then a detachment, and eventually an army.  When it starts to feel like a job, trust your mind and take a break.  Do something else you like - read a book, watch a video or movie,  get outside if that's your thing.  When you're recharged, come back to it - whether that's hours, days, or weeks later.  

 

My interest in this hobby waxes and wanes.  I tend to be obsessive about my recreation - I find a subject that interests me and I immerse myself.  Whether it's a TV show, or a video game, or an overall topic, I explore everything it has to offer.  But after a while, I find myself back in front of my painting desk.  I see what I've been working on and want to finish.  And what motivates me the most is looking at the models in the display cases and shelves - the stuff I've already done.  I'm proud of my work, even if it's not the best.  I understand that part of that is due to my really bad eyesight but I keep learning new methods and techniques.  And i know that sometimes, if I just push on through, the results will make it worth the effort.

 

One of the biggest things you can do, hard as it seems, is to socialize.  Talk to people.  Stay in touch with your friends.  Ask for help when you need it.  Make new friends - go to your local game store and play some pickup games or demos.  You might make friends who not only share your enjoyment of our hobby, but perhaps other common interests as well.  

 

I can't say my life is perfect, far from it, but I can say that I'm happier now than I was before all of that.   I hope that my own experiences with this help you in some way.  

[Jackalwolf]

Yes mate you're definitely not alone. The hobby has helped me in the darkest moments.

 

If I could give any advice it would be to never blame yourself. Every little thing you manage to do is a major victory. You're walking through the path of life with a rucksack filled with stones that would make anyone else crumble, so you're all heroes in my heart.

[Dosjetka]

=][= While the vast majority of the posts so far have been largely on-topic, a number of recent ones have not causing their removal. While dealing with various mental health issues is a critical issue, its scope is far greater than what we allow on the Bolter & Chainsword so please keep that in mind when posting here (or anywhere on the forum) and focus on how the hobby helps you/could help others/organisations that help hobbyists with mental health issues. Correcting common misconceptions, talking in-depth about the symptoms you may suffer from, in-depth discussion about the effects of medication are all topics that are important but don't have their place here so please take them to PMs or off-site.

 

Thank you. =][=

[templargdt]

Thanks everyone who has replied. It helps knowing I am not alone in this. I've not really done much hobby this year, I've got a new psychiatrist, so I am back on the medication rollercoaster... Its been hard to do anything more than check B&C from time to time, and the odd reply or two. I have been doing more leatherworking (making some dice trays right now, and hopefully some dice cups soon) though, so I am not completely inactive. 

 

I did have some good news last week, though I am still unsure how I am dealing with it. Its left me numb and not feeling any of the feelings I know logically I should be feeling... After over a year, my appeal for Social Security Disability was finally approved. This means I'll be able to help more with our living arrangements, and less of a strain on my mother's limited income. Being able to pull more of my own weight should be a relief (the not knowing if I was approved was bad enough), and yet, I feel more trepidation and worry than I did before... It could also be that my new meds/doses are screwing with that, so I am not trusting my feelings at the moment. I dont know why I am sharing all this, but oh well. 

 

I hope I can get more hobby done soon. Mother wants me to set some money aside each month for my hobby so that I can have things to do. I'm planning to get the rest of the Death Guard I want to add to my army soon. Hopefully, this will energize my hobby again. 

Hope to see some pictures soon!

[The God Empress Of Mankind]

Hey I am an aspie, I find 40k very effective to relax I only read the books, I can't paint and the gaming side doesn't really interest me other then I like many of the models. I just keep busy and I don't have time to get depressed, I do tend to work too hard though.