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Knowing when to take a break from the hobby?


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#1
General Strike

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I've been in the hobby for close to four years, in that time my pile of shame has grown and shrunk, but I have struggled to complete a project. Recently in my personal life, I have had a ton of stress and anxiety, from my relatively new job having big issues(entire management team quite at a store, they asked me to come help out for a couple weeks, three months later they've given my position at the other store away, then they promote me to a Co-Manager but don't give me anymore money.), my wife and I rented a house with one of her friends, who then turned out to be a complete nutcase, and I haven't had energy or free time to focus on the hobby. Today, I broke down almost in tears over my pile of models, because I couldn't gather any energy to paint or build. The thing that used to help me relax is an irritation for me right now, and I'm legitimately thinking about selling everything off. My wife worries about that, cause Warhammer is really my only hobby, I mostly just work all the time, and the only socializing I do is through my local FLGS events. I really don't know what to do, but over the past month or so it has just gotten worse, so much that even the Chaos release that I've been waiting months for is just causing panic in me cause I know it will just be a pile of unpainted plastic.

Any advice, brothers?
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#2
walter h

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I know it will sound crass,but relax. Focus on just one model,one that you truly desire to paint. All the others are just chaff to the wind. I would also suggest taking a break from the game aspect,and just hang out. It's easy to be overwhelmed by life,but be aware that when the current seems to be pulling you out to sea,swim sideways to the pull,and you will pull free.

Edited by walter h, 15 March 2019 - 04:03 AM.

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#3
Grotsmasha

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Honestly, perhaps it is time for a break until you're in a better head space. Remember though, there's much more to the hobby than building and painting, so perhaps grabbing a novel to read, or an audiobook to listen to would still give to the hobby without the stress. Whatever you decide though, don't ditch the models, box them up for when you do decide to jump back in, wether that's 1 month or 1 year, because no one ever LEAVES the hobby, they just take extended breaks...

Cheers,
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#4
Exilyth

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It seems like you're currently dealing with issues which are mentally exhausting.

 

I would NOT make any rash decisions (like selling off armies) in such a situation.

 

You could try doing a sport, like running, biking, hiking, skating (definately nothing team-based - team sports tends to get very stressfull).

Something like Tai Chi would be a great combination of both meditation and physical excercise.

Just sitting down and reading a book (preferably nothing hobby related) can be very relaxing.

Grabbing pen/pencil/brush and paper and just drawing/painting whatever subject comes to mind can help alleviate stress too.

 

The important thing is: Getting out of the current situation and doing something completely different for a while.

Subjecting yourself to a different situation can help clear your mind and can enable you to get a different perspective on the situation.

 

Then, when you've reduced your stress and regained some energy, you can start solving your problems one at a time.

Good luck!

 

 

PS: I find watching Bob Ross series "the joy of painting" to be quite relaxing - your mileage may vary.

 

 

Disclaimer: I'm neither a medical professional, nor life coach, nor psychologist. Follow any advice given at your own risk. If the situation does not improve, seek help from one or more of the aforementioned professionals.


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#5
Kinstryfe

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I've seen several posts like this, and the important thing to remember is that this whole Warhammer thing is a hobby, not an obligation. Personally, I go in phases where I go whole hog on it and I'm playing and painting a ton offset by periods where I pretty much ignore it and move on to my other interests for awhile. A few months ago I painted an entire Harlequin army in about a month. Now I'm so burnt out from doing that that i haven't touched a brush in a month and a half, and I've gone from playing a couple times a week to one kill team game per week for a campaign.

If you're not enjoying the hobby right now, then as was recommended by Grotsmasha, put it away and take a bit of a break. If you still want to engage but can't bring yourself to paint I'd recommend trying to get in a game now and then. Heck, Friday night is pick-up night at my preferred flgs and I probably go up there just to hang out and watch a couple games every other week just to get some socializing in.

So yeah, I wouldn't worry. It's natural for interest in hobbies to wax and wane. It's more like obsession when you're into the hobby 24/7/365. Take a break from what's bothering you and eventually you'll likely come back around to where you were.
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#6
halfstrain

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In addition to what others have said, I'd sell *some* of it. Maybe.

These types of breakdowns can sometimes be a good opportunity to reassess what you love about the hobby in the first place, including what model range/army you like most. It's all too easy to just buy stuff constantly and end up with a bunch of unfinished (or never started) projects which just end up becoming stressors on the "to do" list once life comes at you hard.

It can free up space, remove the burden of knowing you have a million models to assemble and just generally clear the air and allow you to focus on a project with perhaps a renewed passion. And a little extra cash never hurts either (even if you just end up spending it on your newly focused project).

Really though, it just sounds like you need to hang out. As Kinstryfe pointed out, socializing at the game store can be awesome. It's a social game after all. Like D&D and most other games, 40k is only as fun as the people you play it with.

Good luck, dawg. I'm sure you'll bounce back!
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#7
sfPanzer

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Sounds more like you need a break from life rather than a break from the hobby. Stash them away but don't sell them. They will be there for you once life slows down again. ;)


I second Exilyth suggestions. Doing sports helps a lot with mental stress. Just the act of moving your bodies is good for your brain.


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Disclaimer:

If my posts appear rude to you, I apologize. It's not meant to be rude in any way, it's just the way folks are in my country. It's really more about being direct than being rude. I know how it's perceived in the english speaking community and I already try to tone it down but I barely notice when it's too much since it's normal for me.


So yeah, I'm really not rude it's basically just cultural differences that act against me here. Again, I apologize.

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#8
Slasher956

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As Kinstryfe above said... this hobby of ours isnt a single hobby...and it shouldnt be a stress... 

 

Dont be afraid to go to the club/LGS with no models and just watch a game or two, chat fluff abut the new chaos with the guys/girls* .  Help out with rules questions etc etc.

 

I hate painting... and rearly paint at all... I've got models on spures of a game system that I helped kickstart nearly 6 years ago that never took off here in the UK (Arena Rex) that are squirreled away in a cupboard somewhere(!)

 

 

*for example last week I went down the club and spent the evening talking to a person who had never played 40K watching a game explaining rules and answering their questions so the person didnt interrupt the game.


Sounds more like you need a break from life rather than a break from the hobby. Stash them away but don't sell them. They will be there for you once life slows down again. msn-wink.gif


I second Exilyth suggestions. Doing sports helps a lot with mental stress. Just the act of moving your bodies is good for your brain.

... unless you have a co-ordination problem and decide to take up ballroom dancing with the wife....

 

oh wait thats what I did!  teehee.gif

 

 

EDIT - I took a couple of years brake from 40K and played a couple of other game systems, nearly selling my sisters army a couple of times, how ever with 8th I returned and picked up my sisters again.. so glad I never sold them off!  However I sold my SMs off about 2 years ago, no regrets at all about that.  So long story short ... is there is more than one aspect of the hobby however if you need to put the hobby to one side you can, and then return as though nothing has changed.  Before you sell off entire armies stop & think for a while about how you'd feel if /when you do return.


Edited by Slasher956, 15 March 2019 - 07:28 AM.

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#9
sfPanzer

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As Kinstryfe above said... this hobby of ours isnt a single hobby...and it shouldnt be a stress... 

 

Dont be afraid to go to the club/LGS with no models and just watch a game or two, chat fluff abut the new chaos with the guys/girls* .  Help out with rules questions etc etc.

 

I hate painting... and rearly paint at all... I've got models on spures of a game system that I helped kickstart nearly 6 years ago that never took off here in the UK (Arena Rex) that are squirreled away in a cupboard somewhere(!)

 

 

*for example last week I went down the club and spent the evening talking to a person who had never played 40K watching a game explaining rules and answering their questions so the person didnt interrupt the game.

 

 

Haha yeah I remember those times for me as well. When I started out with Warhammer years ago I went to the FLGS basically daily. I think I've played only once or twice per week at best though, often not even that, and didn't manage to paint my roughly 1500p of Tomb Kings even after months (and it's not like I was slow painting them as basecoating, washing and drybrushing whole models is the easiest and fastest way to paint an army I can imagine lol). I did enjoy just being with the group talking about stuff and watching them game though!


Edited by sfPanzer, 15 March 2019 - 07:29 AM.

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Disclaimer:

If my posts appear rude to you, I apologize. It's not meant to be rude in any way, it's just the way folks are in my country. It's really more about being direct than being rude. I know how it's perceived in the english speaking community and I already try to tone it down but I barely notice when it's too much since it's normal for me.


So yeah, I'm really not rude it's basically just cultural differences that act against me here. Again, I apologize.

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#10
D3L

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Try and find comfort with another aspect of the hobby while you rebuild motivation

I find buying everything and staring at piles of unopened boxes comforting, they're for my retirement anyway, some days I read over old books, and then when totally fed up, I dress up in camo and go shoot other similarly unhinged people in the jungle with plastic pellets 

You do you, and find your happy


Edited by D3L, 15 March 2019 - 09:16 AM.

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#11
Halandaar

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I'd resist the urge to sell things, unless you really need the cash it would bring in. It would be a decision driven by stress and, from personal experience, building collections back up can be a costly process, and frustrating if the kits go out of production in the meantime.

 

There's no time limit on the kits in your "to-do" pile, and they will be waiting when the other aspects of your life settle and you find the time and motivation to jump pack in. You might consider packing up your unbuilt kits and putting them in an attic/basement, somewhere out of the way.

 

In the meantime, don't feel compelled to stick around the hobby (in terms of hanging out at FLGS or reading fiction) if that contributes to your negative feelings about it. Good suggestions above about finding a sport or other activity to help.


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#12
Quantum

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In my opinion the greatest danger of a relaxing hobby is that at some point it becomes a chore, or an obligation. When playing a teamsport you MUST go to the match or else you'll fail your team, you MUST go to the fitness center or else your abs will become a tummy, you MUST go to the bar or else your friend will think you are lame, you MUST paint your army or else you have all those units boxes for nothing,  you get the idea.

 

That is the point at which something that should give you energy will start costing you energy. And if you already have a stressful life, it may be a cost you cannot afford.

 

Always keep in mind you don't owe your models a damn thing! There is no MUST in this hobby. Never once think what your army should look like, only think of what YOU WOULD LIKE to do now. That could also mean shove them in the closet for a while untill you find your muse again.

 

A simple advice, really, but in thruth very hard to follow, because it goes againt our nature to want to get things done and in order. Believe me, I know that well.


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#13
Trevak Dal

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How much do you exercise? Exercise really is almost magical for fixing a lot of things.

I hate running myself but I LOVE circuit training. Burpees, pushups, lunges, jumping jacks tumble rolls (I don't know if that's an actual exercise, but I loved doing them in gym class waaaay back in elementary school and love doing them now-and with quite an alarming amount of force!) Prisoner squats etc until my mouth burns and my heart is banging in my ears.

I also really enjoy combat crawls (after I got knee and elbow pads). And I still like climbing trees. Since I got some mechanix gloves I can bang out pullups like a Marine.

I said I don't like running, I don't like treadmills or tracks. I do like running in the woods, because it's a little dangerous, and I like moving fast in the trees. Reminds me of being a kid when we used to explore the woods and fight with wooden swords and older brothers' sports equipment as armor. I memba one time going all Viking at Hastings Bridge on a bunch of my friends on a tree that went over a creek.

My friend Adam came at me with a spear, snaked it past my shield and flipped me head over heels into the water-and then he fell on me.

My stepmom and his mom came looking for us and that was a beating (it was Sunday after church and we'd neglected to change in our zeal to go play). Good times.

Also is there an HR or a higher boss you could speak to about getting a proper raise? That's messed up they "promote" your workload but not your compensation.

Edited by Trevak Dal, 15 March 2019 - 04:48 PM.

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#14
General Strike

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Thank you everyone for the advice, and I honestly feel a little better getting it off my chest and knowing that I'm not unique in experiencing this. It was both my highest higher ups, my district and regional, who said no more money. It was a whole thing where they temporarily put one of the managers who threatened to quit in my store, then when he said he liked it they let him keep my job and told me too bad, I'm at this store. I really had my hopes up about this company after my last job(6 years) was so terrible. It's basically take the position or quit, and I feel like they don't value me after all this. I allowed the "promotion" for my resume for when I job search outside of this company.

I don't exercise a lot, I go for walks in the park and enjoy the weather and air, but I'm not really a sports guy or anything.

I might sell off my excess models, and just keep my Death Guard which were a gift from my local FLGS manager at Christmas. I have around 1500-2000 dollars in excess models lying around, leering at me.
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#15
Montford

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Hang in there HCMistborn.

 

In 2008 I put all my 40K stuff into boxes and did not open them up again until 2016 lol. But after all that time I repainted all my Sisters and got back into the hobby. I've been refurbishing my Space Marines and Craftworld lately. I've been playing tournaments, local leagues and plenty of casual pickup games.

 

So even if you decide to take a break its not the end of the hobby. 

 

Best of luck with your career. Family comes first, so take care of them and hey they may support you in painting and gaming. :)


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#16
Ammonius

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Everyone has given pretty much the same advice I would, so I'll just add:

 

You are not alone. Not at all. Work stress, feeling undervalued, the rollercoaster of searching for a new job, almost all of us are dealing with the same or similar issues right now. We're all in the trenches together. If your hobby time begins to feel like work time, then set it aside. That grey plastic will last for decades. It will be waiting for you when things get better :)


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#17
Trevak Dal

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You got to slog on getting that next job then. You are a manager/suit of sorts so are probably more Papered and certified than me, but don't tolerate that noise, make your move go get to another company and of course highlight all the valuable lessons you learned from your current company.
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#18
sfPanzer

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Before you go you can always go to the higher ups and confront them with the alternative though.

Here's what I'd do: Look for another job, then go to your higher ups and tell them that you want compensation for the higher workload after getting promoted since if that doesn't happen you leave the company and take up the job offer you got from this other company (no need to tell names). If they really value not losing their employees and are reasonable they will give you that compensation and that way you also have not just security in case they don't want to comply, you also have something to compare the potential raise to so you can judge better what's better for your future and maybe even negotiate with your higher ups.


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Disclaimer:

If my posts appear rude to you, I apologize. It's not meant to be rude in any way, it's just the way folks are in my country. It's really more about being direct than being rude. I know how it's perceived in the english speaking community and I already try to tone it down but I barely notice when it's too much since it's normal for me.


So yeah, I'm really not rude it's basically just cultural differences that act against me here. Again, I apologize.

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#19
Bryan Blaire

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HCMistborn, everyone has given you pretty solid advice, so I will echo Ammonius - you are not alone.

I can't offer much good advice on the job thing, I stink at it. I really hope it gets better for you.

On the hobby end - really think of how much you want to let stuff go. You won't make your money back most of the time. Personally, I would crate it up (or put it in plastic tote, etc.) and put it into storage somewhere the environment won't damage it. Then do your best to forget about it. When you feel up to it, pull out only a single unit that you really want to work on (or need for a game, etc) and make sure you have good expectations of the speed with which you can do things. One issue that burns me out like no other is expecting myself to get to my pretty much top quality of painting quickly, and while I've tried to speed up or play with less than my personal best, it isn't satisfying to me. So I changed my focus to getting Kill Team sized things done for the time being. I'll go back to larger army amounts later.
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#20
Scribe

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Any time I find my frustration and anger towards a hobby is greater than my joy from that hobby, I walk away for a time.

 

I've done this with 40K (after spending thousands) with Magic the Gathering (again...too much money invested) and computer games (thankfully cheap!) because if what you are doing is doing nothing but pissing you off...stop.

 

Eventually (like now!) those hobbies can turn around and bring back some of the joy you once felt, then you climb back in.


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#21
Scammel

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I've never really understood the idea of a 'break' from a hobby, particularly in relation to games like Warhammer or MtG. I don't see why it has to be a binary choice when there are thousands of way to engage and keep one's toes dipped in before declaring oneself out forever. I play maybe 2-3 games a year and can't remember the last time I actually fully painted an army (I'm a butterfly, me), but I buy plenty of models, White Dwarf and HH novels. Even if you're not expanding your collection at any given time and/or don't have chance to play games, why can't you be a collector, or a member of the community here? If any given facet of the hobby is stressing you out, just drop that component for a while - as others have stressed, no part of it should ever be an obligation.

 

With respect to MtG, there will be periods where I don't play for several months due to a lack of interest or other things going on, but I don't consider myself 'out'. I have a couple of EDH decks in a drawer I can whip out at the drop of a hat, and I do my best to attend a prerelease when they roll around. I don't get why people try to go 'cold turkey' when it's just a game that can be picked up whenever needed.

 

I guess Tl;dr is: Why 'break' entirely when you can just drop whichever component is stressing you out, and pick up again when needed?



#22
Bryan Blaire

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Because for some people, a clean break with what's causing them stress is what's needed to keep from feeling stressed, they still feel some stress if they are partially affiliated with what was causing it in the first place. Different people can deal with things in different ways. It's really up to each of us to figure out how we can handle it - I know for a couple of people I used to play the game with, a clean break was what it took to make them happy, for different reasons (unfortunately neither of them have ever gotten back into the hobby, but I understand why for both).
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#23
Scribe

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Yes, for me I'm a very black/white kind of guy. I'm in and I'm interested and it kind of takes over, or I'm not.

 

Now with MtG, sure there are other ways to engage, but...I dont know. For table top, if I'm out with the guys playing, it would be difficult to remove myself from the parts that annoy me, and still take part, if that makes sense.


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#24
General Strike

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That's part of the issue, Scribe, I'm the same way, all in our out. I love the hobby, and chatting on here, but the past month or so I have gotten frustrated and annoyed, and flighty with the actual hobby. I'm at the point where I feel sick to my stomach looking at my projects. This might be spill over from all my other frustrations, but I feel like I need to step away because I look at what I have piled up and want to dump it in the trash. I might do a clean slate, even though I'm not going to make my money back, maybe selling off my giant piles will help me breath. Then I can step away from the hobby for a while, just read and chat on here. I'm not the most social person, rather I have a hard time meeting new people, so I struggle to get games in, and on top of that all my current stress and issues make it worse.

I really appreciate all the advice you've given me, and I appreciate the mods for allowing this topic to go on, with it going a little outside forum bounds. This has all been really helpful, and getting an outside perspective from a group of people like me, who I respect, has done me a lot of good in clearing my head. I've admired the work and creativity of half the people who replied here, and have a new respect and affection for those of you who I haven't chatted with. So thank you all, I really do feel better from all of this, even though I'm still very unsure of my next steps with everything.
  • Scribe, Bryan Blaire, sfPanzer and 2 others like this

#25
asmodai650

asmodai650

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  • Location:TN, U.S.A.
HCMistborn, I completely get it, and I'm going through a very similar but not as bad situation. I've been in this hobby since 1997, and I've sold more things than I regret. Here's a little advice, and regardless if you take it or not I Truely hope your situation gets better.

you mentioned a DeathGuard army. Is it a project that you can work on, or is it finished? If it is something that you can work on then give this idea a thought. Pack everything else away. Make a note of what's in the boxes so if you do decide to sell some stuff, that part is already done. Just get it out of sight. Then focus on your death guard, working on one model or unit at a time. Finish that project, and go to the next one. Even if it is nothing more than painting a bolter or trimming molds lines. Try not to worry about the rest of the models, they'll get their turn eventually.

There is a YouTube channel called TableTop Minions. He's posted a few videos on this, and his thoughts on how to handle it. Maybe give those a look as well.

Best of luck, and you're not alone!
  • Kinstryfe, Bryan Blaire, Exilyth and 1 other like this
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