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Iron warrior humor.


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38 replies to this topic

#1
Beatnik cryptek

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Iron warrior standing outside armored door of enemy fortification: "Knock knock. "

Enemy inside fortification.  "Whose there? "

Iron warrior: "Just wanted"

Enemy: "Just wanted who? "

Iron warrior: "Just wanted to make sure someone was standing on the other side of this door. " Iron warrior then sets off breaching charge. 


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#2
MegaVolt87

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When you end up with a minimum of 10x the logistics needed for a "simple" military operation.

 

You get annoyed when there is something 20  seconds behind the schedule/ timetable, you go on a rampage amongst the flesh when the delay stretches to a few minutes. 

 

Your warpsmith curses you out when you forget to put hazard stripes on your weapon to indicate its not stock, needing non standard replacement parts when going for wargear maintenance. 

 

The look on the Imperial Fists face as you open up with your bolter with the spare  bane-strike rounds you have been holding on to since the drop-site massacre for a "special occasion". 


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My Iron Warriors Project   Guns for the guns god!, Bullets for the Brass throne!


#3
Beatnik cryptek

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You kill an enemy apocathery then put a primed plasma grenade in his gene seed preservation capsule and leave it next to the body. 


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#4
MegaVolt87

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You kill an enemy apocathery then put a primed plasma grenade in his gene seed preservation capsule and leave it next to the body. 

 

Clearly you would do this with a vortex grenade, plasma grenade is just a cherry bomb. 


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My Iron Warriors Project   Guns for the guns god!, Bullets for the Brass throne!


#5
Beatnik cryptek

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How do you recognize an iron warrior porta potty?

It has 20 tons of armor on it amd the black and yellow hazard stripes aren't ornamental.

Edited by Beatnik cryptek, 06 June 2019 - 05:41 AM.

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#6
Zephaniah Adriyen

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The Iron Warriors themselves.

 

=][=


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"All power demands sacrifice and pain. The universe rewards those willing to spill their life's blood for the promise of power." - Sindri Myr

gallery_48988_15808_1006.pnggallery_48988_15465_989.pnggallery_48988_15465_2505.pnggallery_26154_15777_2719.png

"There is no meaning, no purpose. We murder, we kill. It is mindless savagery, this UNIVERSE is mindless!" - Azariah Kyras

 


#7
MegaVolt87

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The Iron Warriors themselves.

 

=][=

 

The cog boys are too busy ogling toasters, until Cawl shows up making one useful guy out of the faction lol that is doing anything remotely useful. HS.gif


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My Iron Warriors Project   Guns for the guns god!, Bullets for the Brass throne!


#8
Beatnik cryptek

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Tech priests are just jealous that most IW have more metal and less humanity than they do.
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#9
Trevak Dal

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The mechanicus is basically "Yo Dawg, the Brotherhood of Steel from Fallout but with a higher focus on the acolytes instead of the Knights/guys in power armor"

Edited by Trevak Dal, 06 June 2019 - 07:19 AM.

"Our Turn" - Centurion Khârn.

 


#10
Zephaniah Adriyen

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Whatever, lads. At least I don't worship warp deities, nor did I create the darkest thing in the setting.


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"All power demands sacrifice and pain. The universe rewards those willing to spill their life's blood for the promise of power." - Sindri Myr

gallery_48988_15808_1006.pnggallery_48988_15465_989.pnggallery_48988_15465_2505.pnggallery_26154_15777_2719.png

"There is no meaning, no purpose. We murder, we kill. It is mindless savagery, this UNIVERSE is mindless!" - Azariah Kyras

 


#11
Daemon Prince Marbas

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The Iron Warriors don't worship Chaos. They use Chaos Daemons as a tool. The Daemonculaba was a fair jab though.

Edited by Daemon Prince Marbas, 06 June 2019 - 04:11 PM.

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#12
Machine God

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Well seeing as the 40K joke thread has disappeared this thread will have to do.

 

Q: Why did the Dark Angel shoot his squad-mate?

 

A: Because he'd Fallen over.


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"Borg to the Max!" "Destroy All Flesh!"
 
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The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.

-James Nicoll


#13
Beatnik cryptek

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A loyalist marine and a traitor walk into a bar.

The bartender says "We don't serve dark angles here! "

The mechanicus is basically "Yo Dawg, the Brotherhood of Steel from Fallout but with a higher focus on the acolytes instead of the Knights/guys in power armor"


Iron warriors created the darkest thing in the universe? I don't think they started realty TV....
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#14
The_son_of_Dorn

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Iron warrior walks into a bar.

The bar says "ow"
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My alternate Heresy http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/topic/326705-another-alternate-heresy-with-no-fallen-primarchs/

 

"Poor chaos, the result of trillions of randomly merged hostile emotional subconsciousness's...........and 70% of them are female"  


#15
Darnok

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Well seeing as the 40K joke thread has disappeared this thread will have to do.

 

Q: Why did the Dark Angel shoot his squad-mate?

 

A: Because he'd Fallen over.

Something actually funny in here, thumbs up! thumbsup.gif

 

Also:

5p2ku6tztf211.jpg?width=960&crop=smart&a


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#16
Zephaniah Adriyen

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I'll be honest though, the Iron Warriors are about the least Chaos Chaos Legion out there. Primarily because they don't THINK they're being manipulated by Tzeentch, and they THINK they're in control of the daemons they summon.


"All power demands sacrifice and pain. The universe rewards those willing to spill their life's blood for the promise of power." - Sindri Myr

gallery_48988_15808_1006.pnggallery_48988_15465_989.pnggallery_48988_15465_2505.pnggallery_26154_15777_2719.png

"There is no meaning, no purpose. We murder, we kill. It is mindless savagery, this UNIVERSE is mindless!" - Azariah Kyras

 


#17
Iron_Within

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One time an Imperial Fist made one of their terrible fortifications and he said "oh no I have made a terrible Imperial Fist Fortification" and it fell over killing him.

 

It is funny because the Imperial Fist died.

 

Brought to you by Dug the Iron Warrior 


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“From Iron cometh strength. From strength cometh will. From will cometh faith. From faith cometh honour. From honour cometh iron. This is the Unbreakable Litany. And may it forever be so."

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#18
MegaVolt87

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When you chop off your tentacle arm, replacing it with a bionic one, then injecting oblitorator virus because you're biggest fear is running out of ammo. It's not a mutation then clearly. IW logic, 100 intellect.
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My Iron Warriors Project   Guns for the guns god!, Bullets for the Brass throne!


#19
sebs_evo7

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I built a sand castle with my 3 year old the other day
All I could hear in my head was

SIEGE SIEGE SIEGE
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#20
Daemon Prince Marbas

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Hey guys remember that time Dorn beat one of Perturabo's Fortifications? Except the main area was a bomb and sighted to artillery and decimated Dorn's legion and broke the primarch mentally and emotionally?
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#21
Zephaniah Adriyen

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Imagine being a grimderp version of the Imperial Fists and Iron Hands at the same time


"All power demands sacrifice and pain. The universe rewards those willing to spill their life's blood for the promise of power." - Sindri Myr

gallery_48988_15808_1006.pnggallery_48988_15465_989.pnggallery_48988_15465_2505.pnggallery_26154_15777_2719.png

"There is no meaning, no purpose. We murder, we kill. It is mindless savagery, this UNIVERSE is mindless!" - Azariah Kyras

 


#22
Marshal Loss

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I'll ignore the lone representative of the Mechanicus' futile attempts to attain relevance in order to post a little gem I saw the other day

 

sEexoR4.jpg


Edited by Marshal Loss, 10 June 2019 - 12:25 AM.

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ἐλεφαντάρχης


#23
MegaVolt87

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I built a sand castle with my 3 year old the other day
All I could hear in my head was

SIEGE SIEGE SIEGE

 

https://www.youtube....h?v=WBt1vqff7dE


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My Iron Warriors Project   Guns for the guns god!, Bullets for the Brass throne!


#24
Zephaniah Adriyen

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I'll ignore the lone representative of the Mechanicus' futile attempts to attain relevance in order to post a little gem I saw the other day

 

sEexoR4.jpg

No.


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"All power demands sacrifice and pain. The universe rewards those willing to spill their life's blood for the promise of power." - Sindri Myr

gallery_48988_15808_1006.pnggallery_48988_15465_989.pnggallery_48988_15465_2505.pnggallery_26154_15777_2719.png

"There is no meaning, no purpose. We murder, we kill. It is mindless savagery, this UNIVERSE is mindless!" - Azariah Kyras

 


#25
Darnok

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Hey guys remember that time Dorn beat one of Perturabo's Fortifications? Except the main area was a bomb and sighted to artillery and decimated Dorn's legion and broke the primarch mentally and emotionally?

Good times! thumbsup.gif


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