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IA: Knights of the Rhine V.1.0


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gripschi

gripschi

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Founding

The exact date is lost in time. The few remaining pieces, indicate action during the “War of the Beast”. Contrary to it, the Chapter was officially founded in the aftermath of this disastrous war, as a Crusader Chapter, designated "Chapter 203" until a name was chosen.

They were indeed of the 4th Founding, but with a skeleton crew of surviving Astartes from this time becoming the rebuilt Chapter's officers. Which brought their remaining belongings in the newly founded Chapter, leading to pieces of history somewhat alien to them.

They are heirs to the proud bloodline of Dorn. They patrol like their forerunners in Imperial space. During there beginning time, they fought many battles against the remnants of the Orks, liberating worlds and bring them back under Imperial rule.

In remiss of their unknown origins, they took a great deal of work to ensure an ongoing chronicle of their history, a tradition that remains until today. Despite their best efforts, many records were lost over time, due to war, destruction, or simple failures.

They were gifted an old Ramilies star fort as a monastery, equipped with a Dark Age of Technology generator, which grants enough power and function over millennia with no need of maintenance.


Battle along the Rhine - Months of Mud and Blood - Reborn

In high morale and feverish to burn their name into Imperial history, they seek battle after battle against the Orks.

The Agra Mundi Star System, which was spared in the “War of the Beast”,was now a nearly invaluably asset to supply the neighboring systems with enough food. Due a immense lack of armed forces and ongoing fighting, the World was reinforced with second-string Imperial Guard regiments and outdated and green Navy fleets.

Unable to cope with increasing Ork raids, they cried for help. The first to arrive were the 203rd Astartes Chapter. In a risky attack, they retook the orbital docks, but soon it should be a failure, with more resistance and a lack of supplies, the Astartes were soon in Close Combat. After retreating from battle, the fleet destroyed the docks, preventing the Orks from using it. Due to their star fort, they managed to hold superiority in the Void, but were unable to fully intercept all aerospace craft before the latter made planetfall.

Soon a bloody war on the ground was waged, the once-mobile Astartes now forced to engage in trench warfare along the huge River Rhine. Under huge losses they managed to stop the invasion, and hold out until reinforcements arrived.

During this brutal attrition Warfare (a new Experience for them), many Vehicles broke down, only few would be see service again. In dire need of mobile fire support, the Tech Marines, were tasked with modify there remaining vehicles with the Stocks form the Imperial Army's Vehicles. Leading towards there till today used “Rhino Basilisk Artillery Unit”, and many other merged designs. Beside there crude image, this vehicles proved there worth many times.

In the time the moral was on its down point, a young woman rise through the ranks, soon command the entire theater, with a skill and understanding, which should be impossible for a Woman in this Age.

Soon she was the precious 11th Saint, highly respected by everyone. The Astartes saw in here, a piece of there Emperor, to aid them during these Dark Times. The true identity of here are a mystery, together why she was dubbed 11th Saint.

Little is known what happened to here after finally reinforcement arrived. She simply vanished. Only leaving a gift for here Knights, the Knowledge about a new Doctrine, of carefully management of Human Resources, Supply's and that a swift victory is fine and good, but in the End, still remaining stand, is Victory too.

After the Siege lift, they renamed to Knights of the Rhine, coloured there Power Armour's in a Mud Green with Orange Accents. The Green to symbolize the mud, where they were forged new, the Orange to honour the Artillery which were a crucial factor to there survive.

The Chapter was down to about 350 brothers. To cope with the loses, they varied the Size of each Company to 48 instead of 100 which the Codex suggest. The Rankings and Markings remain the same as the Codex offer.

As Act of Honour to the fallen and the brave Population, they build a small Keep there, to held watch and recruit new Aspirants. The battle proven people, make a good ground for new Astartes, ongoing skirmishes against Tribal Orcs, ensure that they held there sharp edge.



Culling of Delta IV - Horror of Darkness

During the Moiare Catechism, the KotR were called to accompany a Mechanicus Disciplinary Force, to bring back the Medium Forge World Delta IV, to the Cult Mechanicus.

The initial Operation Phase was success full, with Void Superiority, the combined Forces make Planet Fall to capture Key Industry and Positions. The Nightmare was to begin after the first ground battles, beside the regular Mechanicus Troops, more and more bizarre and deadly Creatures join the Ranks.

With this newcomers, a shift in the Enemy's tactics, should be fatal for the Attackers. They prioritize the elimination of Officers, Apothecary and Tech Marines along with the equivalent of the Mechanicus Ranks.

They were quick in reaction of it, but the losses remain dire. Nearly Half of the Front Officers were dead, when they quickly repainted the Sings of rank.

Both Commanders agree that the World is lost, in desperate Battles they were able to secure few STC Prints and some Industry. After the evacuation, they conduct Exterminatus on it.

After the conclusion, the Adepts honored the Service of the KotR, grant them few STC Prints along with Industry, to refill there losses. This eased a bit the Relations, after the ongoing and unsanctioned modification of the Rhino Chassis.

The stroll form the Codex, remain after this Battle, all Astartes wear the same Colour on the Field. Never again they should lose so easy valuable Officers.


Destruction of Sigma Horas - Age of Apostasy
During the Religious War which tore the Empire apart, they sided with the Administratum to ensure stability. Which lead to tense Relations with the Church.
Following a Distress Call, they arrived over the Shrine World Sigma Horas, a Rich and Mighty World, under control of the Church directly.
Heretic Uprisings in the largest Hive City, could no longer dealt alone with local Troops. Beside tense Relations, they took direct the fight inside the City's Walls. After 3 Days of brutal Close Combat Action, they lay siege toward the former Governor Castle.
Unable to gain a foothold, the Terminator Battalions were deployed, which cleansed the Corruption and the Leaders of the Heretics. Which revel to the Victorious Astartes, that they were only the tip of the plague, there Battle meaningless, there Victory only a short flame in the laughter of the Dark Gods.
True to these Words, uprisings and demonic incursions took place everywhere, quickly devouring the entire World. Unable and unwilling to expense there precious Resources, the KotR quickly salvaged which would be useful, returning to there Fleet in the Orbit.
The fleet spread out and prepare a Exterminatus, the World already doomed, where to denied the Arch Enemy. This included the destruction of every Ship and Shuttle which fled from the planet. Including the Arch Bishop’s personal Shuttle.
A Act which leave a grim mark on there relations.


Gene-Seed

There Gene-Seed is stable and pure, nothing less to await from the proud line of Rogal Dorns Sons. With a high Compatibly and low Death Rate by Implantation.

But due unknown reasons, they work with a full set of Astartes Organs, no one is missing and all operate as they intended. This was a mystery for the first Apothecary, even provided with Data of the Gene-Seed form the Imperial Fists, they didn't found any foreign string inside it.

Only knowing through a rumour, Rogal Dorn, refused during the Great Crusade, apparently the influx of pure Gene-Seed form Terra. Following this lead, they conduct, the Adeptus Mechanicus has rediscovered this Seed and use it to ensure enough Chapters for the 4th founding. Regardless of the former Edict. A better explanation wasn’t found.

This Information is highly classified within the Chapter, only known to few select Individuals. To the outside, they propagate it is Imperial Fists Gene Seed, and they are there proud successors.

But even its nothing one see, the other Sons of Dorn, feel something is off. Remove them forever a step from there blood brethren.

They have several Banks of Gene Seed spread around in there Chapter, to ensure no one is able to cripple them by take out one of them.

Beliefs

Not unusually among the Ranks of the Adeptus Astartes, they refer to the Emperor not as God, but as the highest pinnacle of Humanity. As a proud Ideal, they wish to come after.

With this, they embrace his former Edict of the “Imperial Truth”, acknowledge that things exist, that shouldn't, but they still see in it the Way, the Empire should choose. Instead of embarking the Teachings of the Church, degenerate the Humans to blind believers, free of own thinking.
Therefore the have a uneasy truce with the Church as whole, but minor conflicts during prolonged Campaigns happen.

To unknown Reasons, they no longer posses a Scriptorium, when they loss it, they never bothered with rebuild it. They aren’t know to enforce the ancient Edict of Nikea or to forfeit battle alongside Psykers.
Contrary to it, they due maintain a culture of remember towards the 11th saint, who aided them due the Rhine Siege. She got on each Ship a small Shrine. Her teachings a essential part of the Chapters Culture.
Battlefield Doctrine

After there early disastrous battle on Rhine, they had to over think there Combat Doctrine, which forged over the Time there Way of Battle. The Codex was not longer seen as holy text, rather as a useful book about War and Organization at whole.

As a space born Chapter, they still maintain a unusually high number of Ships. This give them more options during operations. They use there smaller vessels for blockade runs to isolated Groups, maintain there Strength till they are able to assist direct with Ground Groups.

In Void Battle, they prefer, to strike first with brute force, later deal with the remnants of it, with Cruisers Size Vessels in more mobile Battles.

On the Ground they prefer mobile Warfare, with Artillery Support and/or Air Craft. With Mechanized Infantry and Tank Squadrons, they outmanoeuvre the Enemy and encircle them. Crushing the pockets with Artillery Barrages/ Airstrikes and Heavy Infantry Strikes.

If a mobile Battle is not possible, due a Key Position, they dig a “mess” of trenches and add fortifications to them. They excel in this, like there progenitors. With enough time and manpower, the Positions are very hard to crack, and took usually a high toll on the attackers.

It isn’t a uncommon sight, when Astartes deploy along Astra Millitarum trenches and reorganize them. Sometimes even took direct Command over the Front Troops.

Unlikely other Chapters, they don’t seek deceiving Battles. They prefer to fight under there own rules. When necessary a retreat is a valid option.

Overall is the Concept of Logistic Attrition and preservation of Human Resources, with minimal supply use, eliminate the most possible number of enemies. Let the enemy bleed him out and crushing him when possible. Avoid fighting under the conditions dictated by the Enemy.

The Motto is: Remain standing is all. When we didn't lose, the enemy neither achieved a complete Victory. When we avoid Annihilation, we can rebuild our strength and strike back.

Organization

The Chapter drifted over the time of its diligent service, away from the strict Codex Organization. Today they are formed as following:

3 Marescalcus Capitel, each consist of 48 Astartes, 144 in Total, plus additional Hospitarii (Apothecary) and Trappearii (Tech Marine) to maintain Flesh and Steel, each is Part of a War Capitel,yet independent, to provide them with there Strength and Wisdom, fully equipped with Terminator Armour

3 War Capitel, each consist of 240 Astartes, plus additional Hospitarii and Trappearii to maintain Flesh and Steel during Crusades

1 Void Capitel, consist of 96 Astartes, plus additional Hospitarii and Trappearii, usually operate outside of the Imperial Borders with Rouge Traders on the Search of Archeotec

1 Thesaurarii Capitel, consist of 96 Astartes, plus additional Hospitarii and Trappearii,
they usually circle between the Capitels which operate in Crusades or Campaigns, deliver new supply’s and lend forges to refit the Capitel as much as possible, when Capacity's are free they lend them to other Factions

Further each Capitel, have a Stratetigum Council, which sort combat data and propose following Actions. Usually its personal boost mostly of Serfs with additional Servitors for data processing, a few revered found there a new place.

Each War Capitel consist of 1 Battle Barge, 3 Strike Cruisers and additional Escort and Forge Ships.
The Thesaurarii Capitel, use a early draft of a Assault Barge and 2 Vanguard Strike Cruisers and additional Escorts along with Freighters and Forge Ships.

In set Intervals the Capitel’s change the duty of protecting the Star Fort, usually between 100-250 Years.
The Void Capitel, use as Battle Barge a heavy modified Exorcist Class Grand Cruiser.

Marescalcus = 1st Company
Thesaurarii = management of Finance in Middle Age, today a more Logistic Role

Ranks

High master = Chapter Master
High Guard = Honour Guard (32 Astartes)
Chapter Marshall’s = 1st Captains
Capitel Marshall = CaptainCapitel Guard = Honour Guard (12 Astartes)
Capitel Lieutenant
Lance Leader = Troop Leader
Knight Commandeer = Ship Captain
Knight Sergeant
Knight
Novice

Komtur = Tasked with operating a Chapter Keep or Holding
Revered Wounded/ Retreated = Marines who got severely wounded or lost entire Lance, retreat to teach the New Recruits or join other Parts of the Chapters Structure

Sword Master = Honour Rank for the few Masters of Swords
Hospitarii = Apothecary
Trappearii = Tech Marine
Magnus Hospitarii = Master of Apothecary
Magnus Trappearii = Master of Forge
Magnus Commandeur = Master of the Fleet

The Magnus Ranks and there lower Equivalent (only to bring in additional Information) form the Supreme Convent, to discuss with the High Master, Chapter- and Capitel Marshall and Capitel Lieutenant, the course of action. They alone elect new Capitel Marshall's and the Chapter Marshall.


Chapter Culture

Founded with the Ideals of the old Knight Brotherhoods of Terra, many events have shaped them over the course of there Service. There currently used description of ranks, are implement from there home worlds knight chapters.

In the fight against the Foes of Humanity, the Goal is the Way,mercy is for the weak. Survival of Humanity is the Goal. Any means to remain standing after the Battle, are sufficient.

Due there constant Warfare, they soon started to reuse broken Equipment from the Battlefield, regardless of the old owner. This Behaviour, was further develop after choosing a Home world. The same applies to Void Ships, whenever they successfully capture one, they usually dint give it back. Expect the Situation demand it.

In there spare free time, many brothers choose to work on Stone Blocks, mostly carving it. Reserved to fellow Brothers and the Household Artificers, they carve the Sword Hand Bones of the fallen.

Few choose to use there time to further train there swordsmanship, aspire to reach the honored rank of Sword Master. Manly these few introduce the Sword Play to new recruits.
On Battlefields, they sometime reinforce the Medics and Pioneers of the Guard, or instruct them in proper trench digging and fortification build. To ensure a proper Morale and fighting Strength.

Due the recruitment out of the Void Ships Crews, the Chapters Hospitarii and Trappearii, treat the Crews when no other important tasks are currently need to tend. In addition to it, Chapter Serfs, help out too, sometimes encouraged to do it, running a Basic Administration and Welfare on there Spare Time. This efforts lead to highly disciplined and loyal Crews. Which perform diligent there duty.
Once started as necessary mean, it evolved in a tradition. To honour there ancestral Knight Brothers, which serve as Fighting Force and Caretaker for the common people.

The personal Heraldry consist of 3 Parts, the first is the Symbol of the Lance in which they were raised, second the Chapter Symbol (after joining the Chapter fully), third a own Symbol of choice (after reaching Rank of Knight), some additional signs could be added as reward for his Service or Failure. Each Heraldry tell a tale of his service. A less known function behind it, is the Identification of the brother, each Symbol tell a specific Story, which is recorded, over the Millenniums few “Brothers” were unable to tell the true story.
If a Marine choose to join the Revered, he got a 4th Part, which describe his new Duty.

The Codex of the Chapter, form a bound between the Recruits of the several Capitel, the bulk of the Recruits undergo there training on Rhine and later reinforce the returned Capitel Forces. It is similar to the “Infantry Handbook”, but more realistic and hold the Chapters Culture Pillars.

Further, each Name and personal Heraldic got cut into large blocks of black stone (from there Homeworld), to remember them, with Date of Service start and end.


In the brief period’s of Peace and meetings of Chapter Capitel’s, they exchange there Knowledge and Personal. Further they hold over the course of several Months up to a Year, ongoing Tournaments to test the strength and skill of the Astartes and Serfs.


Recruitment

The Chapter go for Quantity over Quality, unlike most other Chapters. The primary Indication is the subject is healthy and has no grave Illness or mutation. They tend to recruit whenever possible, a trait which helped them several times to replace grave Casualties.


They don’t exclusive use a single Recruitment pool, they prefer to gain disperse Recruits. The “bulk” are from Rhine and Agra Mundi, furthermore the Capitels, gain there Recruits form the Crew of the Void ships or rescued Populations, sometimes as Payment for enforced Tithes.
The few Chapter Keeps, draw a small tithe from the local population, which later got transported to Rhine for further Training.
Usually the Recruits are between 5-7 Years old, regardless of there Gender. Boys and Girls, go together through there new Life as Chapter Servants and further Novices.

To ensure that only the toughest and best make it into the new Lances, training is brutal and quickly weeds out the weak and unworthy, for fear and weakness are not tolerated. The ones, which survive the initial Training, got additional Tests, to determine there new Home.
Each remaining Recruit, is assigned to a Lance, based on there Results, a Lance is usually composed of 12 Girls and Boys. Each got her name, based of a ancient Terran Star Picture, which is also the later Lance Symbol. Each of them, is trained by a Veteran Chapter Serf or several overseen by a Revered Brother.

The minds and characters of the young prospective Aspirants or Chapter Serfs, are purposefully broken and remade stronger, just as their bodies are trained to withstand hardship and endure suffering that would kill other men -- a task already begun by the mere fact of Choosing by the Chapter.
The Hospitarii follow the Rituals and Suggestions of Implants all most to the letter. Only noticeable difference, is the absolute minimum of the suggested Hypnotic Therapy's. Along with less Rituals and more professional spirit.

The chapter, has extensive Training Facility on Rhine, were the bulk of Recruits got there Training. In addition to it, each Capitel train replacements on there own jurisdiction, but follow the same Guidelines as the others.

Before the male Aspirants join the Ranks of the Novices, a important festival is held, called “Feast of Accession”, each male Recruit (regardless if he join the Astartes or the Serfs), choose a fellow girl as bride. Usually they choose in there own Lance, but it is not a Rule.

After this Ceremony, the new Novices, spend a example of there Sperms, for further use after there Accession.
The girls, remain on the Side of there chosen, forming under the Serfs Family, and the Novices the Role as Caretaker for the Needs of them. But the Girls, are not reduced to mere house sitters, they serve as there male counterparts too.
Each remaining Recruit, got along with his Ascend in the Chapter an New Second Name, they got the name of the Place they got born or recruited is first unknown. To avoid identically Names, they get sometimes Alterations of it or simply the Name of a Important Place or Good from there Home.

Home-world

After several Centuries, the Chapter decided to establish a permanent Base. Located in the Northern Border Triangle of Solar, Obscurus and Pacificus. They settle down somewhere in the M36.

Covered behind dense Asteroid Fields and Stellar Dust, lay a cold and unfriendly World, which held a small population of Humans. With the lack of Major Stable Warp Routes and valuable Resources, this Area of Space got not much attention form the Empire. In any means a remote region of the sector.

History

First discovered during the Dark Age of Technology, the Barren World, was deemed worthy of Terra Forming to hold a Colony. The exact reasons, which led to this Conclusion is long lost.

Reconstructed of the few remaining logs and tales of the population, they undertook great Constructions for this task. Several Dozens Habitats were build in a stable Orbit, holding Shipyards, Fabrics and Quarters for the Colonists. From the Size of small Stations to that of Star Forts.

On the Surface they Constructed a Fortress like City, to hold the Terra Form Equipment along with its Staff, additional Silos to hold necessary Resources. Located on the Coldest Region in the Northern Continent.

During the process, the Rebellion of the “Iron Man” Occurred, leading to the stop of Resources Freighters. The few who still arrived, hold tales of Horror. In dire need of the Planet. The scientist determined to achieve with the remaining resources a habitable world. In the end, they didn’t fail this task, but only the most basic Results were possible.

The main continent have few areas, which allow agriculture, the largest areas, under firm control of the largest factions. Constant under challenge of rising factions an old rivals.

The sub continent, created as Oxygen pool, is covered in dense jungle, home to a hostile flora, very few tribes managed to survive there.

Around the tow continents, are several islands, mostly uninhabited form humans.

Topography

Main Continent:

He is roughly shaped like a half moon, the temperature is barely over 15°C in the summer, in the winter it go down -15°C. The outer fringes are flat, towards the Center and Northern Part, the terrain got Fjord like.

In the Icy Northern Fjords, lay the ancient Fortress City, now home to the Chapter. The entire region is off limit, no one how trespass ever return.

The Sub Continent:

Not many is known, only that the shape is like a fist, covered in dense jungle. With deadly flora and many forms of illness.



Culture

The Age of Technology is long gone. Only Fragments have survived the time, each considered Holy and is not replaceable. The few Holders are considered the most powerful and important Pillars of the current Society.

The Population consist of 3 major Factions, the Star Dweller, Knight Orders and Free City's. Each is in need of at least one Technology of the other. Which lead to a somewhere uneasy Peace, beside ongoing border conflict’s.

A ancient Contract, forbid direct assaults and sabotage of the Technology Place’s and Holders. A break of it, lead to dire consequences, usually the utter Destruction of the Foes.

The overall Technology Level is in the Late Middle-age, only Exception are advanced Filter Systems for Water, Bikes and several low Tech Farming Tools and Vehicles, the Star Dweller exclusive maintain primitive Shuttles.

The Star Dweller hold the Filter Systems, the Knight Orders the Bike Technology along with Farming Vehicles, the Free Cities hold several Low Tech Food Seeds and Alloy’s.


Primaris Marines

They were among the first who utilized fully Primaris Formations to reinforce there depleted Troops. During the early Indominus Crusade, they used Astartes from every available gene line to gain new Knowledge.

Later they integrated few foreign Astartes, after they gain the modified Process from Crawl.
Some frictions were present, but with ongoing fighting and the proof of the Primaris Marines, they vanished mostly. Lead to a strong bound between First Born and Second Born.


The Rubicon


In the following Council after the End of the Indominus Crusade, the Chapter Superiors decided, to implant the Primaris seed, into every Aspirant form now on. The Hospitarii are tasked with it, additional they should conduct the Rubicon process on few Brothers, which brought shame over them. They can earn forgiveness, for sacrifice themselves to the Higher Need of the Chapter.

When the process is deemed acceptable, the entire Chapter should go through this too.


Equipment

One of the the most important Requirements, they want from there War gear, is reliability. It need to function in every Situation and Environment. Interchange of Parts are too important for them, which lead over the time to unique Designs. Complicate to maintain Gear, like Plasma Weapons and Lad Raider’s faded out after that decision.


After the early loss of there more advanced Gear, they never bothered with fully replacing them. Instead embracing other Designs. Today they have a wide array of Rhino Variants and typical Astra Millitarum Vehicles. The most “famous” are the Rhine Artillery Unit, there primary Combat Vehicle.
As Power Armour they primarily use the Mark VI Model, later improvements are integrated. The typical Muzzle Helmet, is replaced with a Design closer to Mark III Helmet. The smoother Movement and bit smaller Proportions, proved there Worth in the closed Space of Vehicles, Ships and harsh Condition's in trenches and the No men land.

To provide better Protection for Breach Troops, each Capitel maintain several Mark III Iron Armour’s. They produce new of these, usually they only replace losses. Unable to equip the whole Chapter, they re- engineered Boarding Shields, without Shield Generators, but improved Design and Alloys.
To deliver there huge Number of Vehicles, they maintain a rather large Number of Thunderhawks Variants, which double as Supporting Aircraft.

To gain enough Supplies, they fled Battlefields, a Act, which give them a Reputation of Ass Birds.

They maintain a rather Large Fleet, with few Battle Barges and Several Cruiser Vessels, mostly Lunar Class Ships. There Design was modified over the Millenias, removed unnecessary Parts and replaced complicated Systems with more common ones. Leading to sleeker Variants, which are interchangeably, damaged and destroyed Ships are easy to merge.

Relations

Adeptus Administratum -

During M36, they formally allied themselves, the Chapter deemed the increasing power of the Church as concerning. They act sometimes as Enforcing Force for the Imperial Tithe, with usually overwhelming success. As payment, they are allowed to claim a small portion of the Tithe, usually Supply's and new Crew Men for there Ships.

During the later Civil War, they remain loyal, they avoid larger Engagements with the Church. But crushed there Forces merciless when they expand in the Space they hold Watch over.

Later they expand these Relations to the Munitorum, function as delivery and escort Force in prolonged Campaigns.

Adeptus Mechanicus -

Bound through ancient oaths, they have a delicate Relation. The ongoing modify of Vehicles are a constant point of Anger.

But they hardly accept it, to important the few STC Sheets, recovered from the Outer Border together with the Rouge Trader Dynasty “Nebukadnezzar”. These diligent service, sometimes accompanied by Exploration Fleets, further eased Relations

The relations to the Sons of Medusa, are currently unknown, the Reaction could be hard.

Death Watch -

They are among the Chapters, which provide a steady influx of Recruits, mostly not Veterans, but fresh Astartes which survived there First Battles and remain the only remaining of its Unit or deemed not team able.

Around 2/3 of the provide Astartes are lost for the Chapter in one or another form. Most die in battles, other choose to remain in the Death Watch after a last Chapter Visit.

The few returned, bring back valuable Knowledge, even the few they are allowed to share is crucial. The KotR in operated many Tactics, the agile Kill Teams and Hesh Bolters as example.

Adeptus Ministorum -

Both sides tolerate each other hardly, not forgetting what happened during the AoA, and the adhere to the Imperial Truth strain it further.
Both sides hold a truce, only small engagements from time to time.

Ordo Xenos -

The Ordo, used the Chapter several times as Force, against growing Waaghs!, the expertise well known against the Orks.
As Exchange for ongoing services, which sometimes are costly, they put a protective Hand over them, well known the Situation between them and the Church. A good Situation to gain Forces whenever necessary.

Codex Chapters -

Its a cold and bitter Relation. The most are unforgiving against breaks, to the Holy Codex. They usually avoid a engagement when Codex Chapters are present. Not to strain there Patience, over the point.

Sons of Medusa -

The KotR, have some Agreements, mostly they deliver them Wracks of Heavy Vehicles and other Equipment which they didn’t utilize. In Exchange for it, they gain Cybots and Spare Parts for Vehicles and Armour, they can’t produce in necessary amounts currently.

Black Templar -

They have with several Crusades relations, both sides prefer CQC and don’t use Psykers. They fought alongside many times. They got surprisingly good relations, for Chapters which Believes couldn't be more different.

Rouge Trader Dynasty “Nebukadnezzar” -

A rather old and long time small Dynasty. They gained Wealth and Influence after the Civil War M36. Little is known how they exactly grow to outsiders. Truth is, they offered the Chapter the Coordinate of there later Home world. Alongside the influx of dire needed Supply’s.

But soon rumors, told that there Expeditions in the Outer Border Regions, are accompanied by Astartes regularly. Rather uncommon in the Empire. After few failures at there Expeditions, they brought a ancient piece of Archo Tec back. Which was paid with a enormous sum of Credits from the Adeptus Mechanicus.

Which they use to maintain there wealth and to obtain various Supply’s, normal not available for Astartes. Mostly Astra Militarum Vehicles and Reserve Fleet Vessels for both the Traders and Chapter Fleet.
Today they hold Business Relations with the Adeptus Mechanicus, which accompany them sometimes in the outer Regions. Even a scratch of Archo Tech, is a holy grail for them.

Edited by gripschi, 02 January 2020 - 08:34 PM.

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#2
Berzul

Berzul

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Hey!

Ill try and comment later. When I am at my laptop.

But, for mobile, the color ypu used is almost impossible to read. Just FYI.

Again, as soon as I can sit at my laptop, Ill review it entirely.
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"Fiat lux!"
- Battle cry of the Wings of Dawn, a Dark Angel's Successor Chapter

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#3
Bjorn Firewalker

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As Berzul noted, white text makes your IA invisible against the white background that's the default for the website's Mobile Version (for smartphones and other mobile devices), unless the reader highlights the text. You're also missing the blank lines used to separate paragraphs in *.html documents (remember, the tabs used to do so for *.txt documents are automatically omitted when the text is copied and pasted into an *.html document), making it a "wall of text" that's hard to read.

I also noticed multiple typos, e.g., describing "Iron Mens" ("men" is the plural for "man"). Is English NOT your first language?
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Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#4
gripschi

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I will try to break Up the Text Wall later.

But how can i Set 2 Colours? Like White for regular and Black for mobile?

And yes, English is Not my first Language, and i know that there are enough typos..., Something i need more to adress.

#5
Berzul

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Founding: 3rd around M32.0100-200

Lineage: Rogal Dorn, Imperial Fists

Geneseed: Pure, no signs of Degeneration or Deficiency

Astartes Organes: Contray to there Lineage, they have a full working Set of Organs

Codex Astartes: Unique Organisation, only a Guideline

Strength: 1000 Line Brothers (currently at 70% Strength)

Homeworld: Founded Fleet Based on a DAoT Ramilies Fort, later claimed one

Located: Segmentum Solar, Northern Region, Active mostly in Segmetum Solar, but

ocassionally spotted in Pacificus and regular Patrols in Obscurus

Archenemy: Orks

Loyalty: Loyal to the Empire

Succesors: None

Belives: Beside 1 Saint, they adhere mostly to the old Imperial Truth, not denying the Foes

of the Archenemy

Affiliation: Moiare Adeptus Mechanicus, Rouge Trader Dynasty Nebucanezder,

Adeptus Administratum (sided during AoA), Adeptus Munitorum

Battle Cry: For the 11th Goddess! Glory to his Imperial Majesty!  (silence)

 

History of the World:

Explored during the Golden Age, the Planet was cove rd in Asteroid Fields and Solar Dust.Approaching proved difficult. But some lost in time Reasons, deemed a Colonization as necessary.In the close Days of the Golden Age, huge Habitats and Stations were constructed.

The Planet itself, undergo the delicate and ressouce demanding Terra forming Process. Its Technology largley lost, were centered on the Icy Regions to maintain the imense Heat easier. In the index chart, you describe the chapter as Fleet Based, but in the lore you jump right into describing what seems to be a chapter homeworld. At what point in time did they settle down on a specific planet? Perhaps you could go into more depth there, as to how the chapter began as fleet based, and what events led up to them settling down and fortifying a specific planet on a particular system.

Ultimately in the process, the constant Resource inbound failed. Soon the huge Depots of the Installation lay bare.

Few Ships arrived them, all full of Refugees and bitter stories. The "Iron Mens" rebelled. The System got away, due to some believes, no artificiality life were allowed.

The remaining logs indicate. That the Scientists try to finish the process so far, that Humans could Life there. Only partly sucessfull, few urban areas were completed.

After rebellions and Dispute, due to Material law and the small space, many descent to the surface. So, there was an orbital colony first, and they only touched down years after, once the land was terraformed enough? That actually sounds very interesting. What happened to the orbital colonies? Are they still around? Is there a particular dynamic between the surface inhabitants and the orbital colonists? Does this play into the dynamics of the chapter, now that they have claimed this world as the chapter homeworld? Forming the Population now in wide areas of the World settled.

The Civilization has lost most of its former Technology. Still they hold a level similar to the late Industry Time on Earth once. Remarkable is the huge variety of Tank Vehicles, similar to the Rhino.

The Population is in near constant War, due to the only partly Terr Forming attempt, the areas which allow settlement are are. Civil war? War with other planets? War with enemies of the Imperium? This is really good grounds for more detail in the story! I think a lot can be done here! If you were to tie it up with the issue with the orbital colonies, then maybe there is war between those living on the surface and those left at the planet's orbit, on their ships? I dunno, just, throwing an idea out there.

 

Organization

 

Once Codex Complaint, later drifted away, the lesson that it is a "Guide" Not a holy Decree, was payed with Blood and Iron.

The Chapter is divided at M42 following:

 

Instructor Unit

 

Consist of 144 Astartes, equipped fully with Terminator Armour. They are stationed on Rhine and there Space Moanestry as Guard. As far as I understand it in the lore, Tactical Dreadnought Armor (Terminator Armor) is a suit usually reserved for squads or companies focused on assault. As in, bringing the fight to the enemy. If so, is there a particular reason that the chapter has elected to keep those veterans able to field these suits of armor, in the Chapter Homeworld, as guards? Because, there very well can be reasons (my own Successor Chapter, for instance, keeps a lot of TDA Battle Brothers on the homeworld, albeit on rotation as they go out to hunt regularly). Training aspirants seems like one, but I wonder if there are more reasons for it. And, on that note, how do they interact with the planet? Is there a planetaryu defense force with which they allie themselves? Maybe one with which they clash?

Further they are tasked with oversee the Aspirants and forge them to join the Chapter.

They use a rare and old, Governor Class Grand Cruiser, if the need arise to operate outside the Rhine System.

 

War Division (3 Divisions)

 

Consist of 240 Astartes, divided in 5 Battalions to 48 Men.

Accompanied by an Apothecarium and Maintain Crew (Techmarine), to tend wounded Brothers and Equipment. Further to train and oversaw new Aspirants. If the Terminator Veterans stay behind in Rhine, and they are in charge of training the Aspirants, what sort of training and relationship with aspirants do the War Divisions have?

 

Each Division has One Battlebarge and 3 Strike Cruisers, along with an broad Array of Escorts and Supply Ships to maintain Independence from other Sources. This I like a lot. They were born a fleet based chapter, after all. Even if they now reside on Rhine, they maintain a culture of fleet-based independance in operations.

 

Supplement Division

 

Consist of 96 Astartes, divided in 8 Units of 12 Men. Additional Maintain Crews and few Apothecarii are on Board too.

There Task is to maintain the Chapters Vehicles which aren't used primarily. They accompany usually War Divisions which join Crusades, to prepare Supply's beyond the normal Consume Rate.

There Battlebarge is a early concept of the "Assault Barge", not as much refined in Design as the later. Consist of nearly twice the Hangar Bays as usually, able to hold plenty Supply's beside the Chapter needs.

Accompanied by 2 Vanguard Cruisers and several Light Cruisers and Escort Ships. The Barge itself contains large Numbers of Ordnance.

 

Void Division

 

Consist of 96 Astartes, divided in 2 Battalions of 36 and 2 Units of 12 Men.

They are a Mix of Maintain and Apothecarii, all tough they train Aspirants, mostly they Drill the Auxiliary Troops from the Rouge Trader. Again, I am curious as to how the training of the aspirants work. You have the Instructor Unit of Terminators at the planet, training them. But also each War Division doing so, and the Void division as well.

Instead of a Battlebarge, they use heavy modified and reinforced Exorcist Class Grand Cruiser. Buyed from the Solar Segmentum Fleet, now serving as Base for the Void Company. Most time operating in the Border Regions and Beyond. Accompanied by several Escorts.

 

Ranks

Chapter Marshall (Chapter Master)

Division Commander (Company Captain)

Battalion Commander

Wing Leader

Maintain Marine (Techmarine)

Medic (Apothecarii)

Instructor (Trainer of Aspirants)

Komtur (Leader of Chapter Estates of Recruitment Worlds)

Similar to Codex Chapters, they utilize the Ranks of Master of Forge, Armoury, Fleet and Apothecarium. But each Division has this Ranks, not like usually only once.

Keeper of Knowledge (Highest Librarian)

Librarian

Colour: Field Grey (Like German WW2) or Mud Green

Battle Cry: For the Goddess! For his Imperial Majesty! Glory to the Empire!

Faith: They still believe in the Imperial Truth, this lead to frictions with more religious Chapters and Organizations, they try to avoid Joint operations with such Elements. They see the Emperor as a Being, which represent the binnacle of mankind.

Along with believe in the Imperial Truth, they see the Importance of the Adminstratum. Which later lead to a Alliance against the Church.

Tactic: They are skilled Void Fighters and prevail in Boarding Actions too. A trait, they maintain since there Founding time.

Steel Rain

On the ground, they use large Numbers of Razorbacks and other Rhino Variants. To add Firepower they use Cybot Squads as Mobile Heavy Support.

Besides these Transporters, they field when possible Whirlwinds and Rhino Advancers with Basilisk mounted on them. Protected by Predators.

First Scouts act as fire observers, after a rocket Valley, they ident AA and AM spots. There they feed these points with regular Volleys. With constant front Feedback. Tearing the strongest Defensive in shreds.

Before the Last Shell hit, they all ready assault the lines.

 

Void Rain:

Able to surive the Void, entire Battalions launched prior to a Engagement, against stationary Targets. Only to open breaches and quickly overwhelming the Enemies when the Fleet engage.

Defensive: As long as possible they conduct a mobile Defensive. Is this no longer possible, the Knights dig a perfectly planned array of Trenches with Bunkers, Weapon Points and tunnels to move in this Position.

For the most Eyes it look Like a Maze. But for the known Eyes, its a Area with many Death Zones and Fallback Points. Easy to retake for the Defenders but horribly vulnerable to hold it as Attacker.

 

Relations:

The Relations to the Adeptus Mechanicus are cold. They accuse them as Heretics, for fighting on the Side of the Moiare Rebels, later to give them refuge. And therefore stealing of Technology.

To spoil the Relations further, the KotR ignore the holy decree to not alter Technology. Fielding own Variants of the Rhino Chassis and other Equipment as they deem it necessary.

 

Elicas Church: For not accept the Imperial Church, alone they tolerate it. But for formally Allied with the Adminstraum, they are in a mostly cold War.

 

Sons of Medusa: Bounded through the Moiare Shisma, both Chapters fought occasion side by Side. The Knights deliver occasion salvaged Equipment and Vehicles to them. In Exchange for Equipment and Parts, they need, but aren't able to manufacture yet in necessary Numbers.

 

Black Templar: Curiously they have good Relations. Beside the Question in Faith, they fought several time alongside. Outsiders assume there Relations are improved due both sides dint use Psykers and fought valiant against all foes in CQC. You listed a librarian position in the chapter structure. But, they don't use psykers? Maybe there was a mistake here?

 

Codex Chapters: As usually, most dislike there Break with the Codex. Mostly Cold and Business Like Relations. Usually a chapter that so strongly deviates from the codex would be a cause for concern. I'm thinking of how original chapters that have gone their own way (such as the Dark Angels) have had to have specific dispensation for their "original" structures. How did that work out for this chapter?

 

Equipment:

 

During the turbulent Years in M35 and M36, they chnaged there Vehicle Bay massive. Abbandon many of the other Types,

tthey startet using extensive Numbers of the Rhino Chasis. Quickly modify for the current Situation.

Its common to see them use parts from the Astra Millitarum, which they accompani often.

 

Rhinos with Leman Russ Cannons and Basilik Artillery arent uncommon.

 

They still use the MKVI Corvous Power Armour, but integreate some of the later improvments.

Noatably are the smaller Back Pack, somehow they managed to size it down.

 

For boarding Actions or Battles in small Environments, they maintain MKIII in decent Numbers.

Every Marine, is extensive trained in the use of Boarding Shields. Alltough few have built in Shield Generators. They are plates of reinforced Stell and Ceramit.

Its Common to see them with Shields on the Battlefield.

 

Gene Seed:

The Main Part, is cleary Imperial Fist Genes, but further enganced with at least 1 unknown Seed. All Organs working, no signs of deteration.

They carefully Split and maintain there Geneseed Banks. Rumors indicate that they have a Secret Stock, deep hiden inside the Adminstraum.

 

 

History:

The first Chapter Master, a true Son of Dorn, earned the right to lead a own Chapter, during

the Exploration and Cleaning of a Ancient Ramilies Fort. But soon after inhering If he was the first, then the position cannot have been inherited. Maybe there was a mistake here? the Rank

of a Chapter Master, distress maifested inside the Chapter. The proud Master and his new

Brothers dosent share the same Stubbornes and Determation usally displayed among the

Succesors of the Imperial Fists. Soon the Chapter was divided in 2 Factions, the Proud Son

of Dorns and the Pragmatic Sons under the 1st Captain. Wait, the chapter is composed of two factions? THis does not match the previous text.

 

To compensate for this, the CM valianty took evry Battle, in hope to awakeing the ture

Herriage of his men. A task which lead him ultimately to his End and nearly that of his

Chapter too.

 

After the Rebellions cool down, the Chapter patroled the Core Systems of the Solar

Segment. After sporadic fights against Orc Raiders, the Chapter heed to the Agriculture

System Rhine. The Logistic Hub which supply the sourondind Sectors, were captured form

Orcs, thearten a Food Emerengcy around.

 

Eagerly to fight them off, he orderd the enire Chapter to mobilise, expect for the 1

1st Company, which should protect the Moanestry and to get the Captain out of his way.

The 3rd Company which fought down a Rebllious Outburst was to this time on the Way

back to restock Supplys. Again, the text doesn't match what has been previously written. Suppossedly, the chapter does not work with traditional companies, but with divisions and batallions.

 

Nearly the entire Chapter and ist Fleet headed towards Rhine. The Moanetry following

but not expected to arrive sooner then 2 Weeks later. To show the Chapters Majority the

true Spirit of Rogal Dorns Sons.

 

After sucessfully take the Hub back, the Luck was no longer on his side. After merly few

days the Fleet couldn't longer handle the aprocahing Orcs. After the loss of a Strike Cruiser

and most Escorts they retreat to the Hub. Contrary to the Situation the Chapter Master

Ordered a throughout Fortification and prepare to hold out until the Orcs are repelled.

 

Disturbing Reports across the Entire Segmentum reached the 1st Captain, which urged him

to speed the Travel as much as possible up. After entering the Rhine System, he saw a

truly devastating picture. Most of there fleet destroyed around the Hub and a uncountable

mass of Orc Ships. After a fierce Conversation with his Chapter Master, he denied his

Order to join the fight, instead he broke a Corridor through the Encirclement to enable

the reaming Troops to flee. To the shock of the Chapter Master, many attempt to break

Through and escaping towards the Moanestry instead of fighting to the End.

 

After nearly 1,5 Commpany worth of Asartes Escaped, the corridor slowy closed. Cut of for

many the last way out. Over the Vox, they heard the last Words of there Leader. Cruseing

them for not fight to the End, for betray him and the Primarch.

 

knowing he would kill all reaming Asartes, the 1st Captain order the entire Wepaons of

the Moanestry to obliberated the Hub along with the Orcs and his Brothers. Crossing a

Rubicon of no return, he watch the Expolsion. After that they retreat to the Agrar World,

where various fragments of Imperial Forces arrived. Along with several Asartes Forces,

many Imperial Army Vessels stranded there, lost there Escort they were vulnerable.

 

In this Chaos the 1st Captain soon claimed Supremme Command and started organize

the various forces. Deemed the Planet as rally point and a increasing Orc mass incomeing.

They dig there lines along the largest River, the Rhine.

 

The follwoing 2 Years where a constant strugle to maintain the Orcs deadlocked and not

allow them to break through. Many untold deeds and sacrifies, allow them to hold out.

During this time, a young Woman form the World rise trhough the Ranks, soon leading

the entire army as second in command. Soon the troops saw in her a saint, even the

notorius Asartes aknowlegde in her a spark of the Emperor.

 

The date exact 2 Years after the downfall, a unbeliable strong Orc apeared, easyly breake

through Asartes. Only the intervention of the 1st Captain and the Saint, saved the World.

After cutting down 11 such impressive Orcs, the remaing lost there cohesion and start a

war for the sucession. Only leading to there anhiliation, inspired and enraged through

the sacrifie of the Saint, the remaing Defenders overrun the sartled Orcs.

 

Soon after the  the Siege, they lend forces to the Second Beheading Operation, later send

them to the new founded Death Watch.

 

After the Dead of the Beast, they undertook many Campaings to erradicate Orcs and re-

claim lost worlds for the Empire. Slowly they emabrk toward the Nothern Broders, only

to participate in the 4th Black Crusade. Which took a heavy toll on men and equipment.

 

Which lead to one of the Chapters turning points. On the Border toward Ultima, a new

Forge World were on the rise. Remote enough to escape the tight of Mars to some degree.

Faceing increasing Orc Raiders, they welcommed the KotR eagerly. In exchange for dealing

with the Orcs, they refitt the Chapters Equipment and even pull a pool of Aspirants out

of the Workforces under there Jurisdication. A nearly one Millenia holding Relation was

founded. Only to be overtrowhn in the Wake of the Moiare Shisma.

 

The Chapter which aided the Fabricator, through Contracts bounded, soon fought a

total war on the Forge World. After first Sucess, the true Enemy striked, Forces of the Dark

Mechanicus, which poured Oil in the Conflict between the Mechanicus Factions, envolped

the world in horrors. Unable to achive victroy, the Chapter started evacuaiting as much

loyal Forces and Technology as possible. Still leaving many of there Armoured Vehicles

back, to buy the dire needed time.

 

After the Evacuation they conduct Exterminatus over the World, denied the Dark Forces

there price, but deeply wounded as a twisted gift. The Enemy used the Markings of the

Codex Asartes against them. Leading to shortage on Officers.

 

To envolp the Situation further, a Punishment Fleet from the Mars, reached the System

few days beofre they reach the Left Point. Leading to dire Situation, the Mechanicus Fleet,

demanded the entire Mechanicus Refugees and boarding of the Chapters Vessels to

conduct these task. Which were declined by the Chapter Master, stateing that all traitors

were dealt with on the ground.

 

With no proof that they have Moiare Refugees, and a huge disperty in fighting abilitys. The

Mechanicus Envy, declared the Case as closed. But denied them the Acess to most Forge

Worlds, only to open it up after a pentied Crusade under there Eyes.

 

Wounded and abandoded by the Mechanicus, they lick there wounds, eagerly on the

search for a remote World as Chapter Estate. Who exactly they enage in relations with the

Rouge Traders is lost in time, or perhaps sealed off in the archive. But soon after that,

they found indeed a remote Human Colonie. Cut off from Major Warp Routes and shielded

behind Stellar Dust and Dense Fields of Asteriods. Forgotten long before the Empire reach

out to the Stars.

 

After etablishing of a Base of Operations they eagerly build Factorys and Ship Yards, even

a new Fortess Moanestry on the Ground. A steady inflow of new Recruits and Supplies,

after less then 100 Years, the first Divison was sent out again to fulfil the will of the

Emperor.

 

In the M36, the Church sized more power day after day. The Chapter saw in it a huge risk

for the future of the Empire. Soon they seek an Audience by the Lord of the Administratum

, the protocolls verify that such a meeting had indeed take place. The Details are unkown

to most, the Chapter was soon a common sight on Crusades witch were supplyed through

the Administratum. Steadly watching the Supplys flow and protecting it. Unlikey for most

Chapters, they act as Officers in the field. Reorganisation and leading various regiments,

which lead to the Nickname: Knights of Scribers.

 

This relationship was a thorn for the Church, which feel ist power dwilling, while they

emphase Logic over blind belive. Later duirng the hot war of both Organisations, a High

Cardinal seeked aid for his World. Through "luckly" circumstances they answerd first the

Call. Founding a Shrine World, ravged by endless Hordes of Demons and Cultists. The CM

denied a order to planetfall and batlleing the Enemey, he declared the World as allready

doomed and proceed a to launch Virus Bombs, quickly subjugate the entire World to death.

 

In despair the High Cardinal, orderd all faithfull remants, to attack the routhless Traitors,

even a battlebarge, was unable to hold the enemy on bay. Soon the Mariens and Crew f

found themselves in a endless Atrition Battle against near endless waves of Zealots. Soon

they lost ground, the sheer mass pushing there lines deeper inside the Ship.

 

The inbounding fleet of the Divison, found the Barge under siege, quickly they overhelmed

the enemy fleet and proceed to board the enemys capital ship. The Churchs Guard where no

problem for the Boarding partys, quickly breaking through. The Cardinal, despearte to

denied them victory, set a false distress call out and broadcast his own death to verify his

claims.

 

Soon after they cleaned up, a entire Chapter reach the System. Follwoing the distress call,

only to found a devasted planet and innocent refuges and church ships crippeld. With

holy fury they launch a attack on the "Traitors. Too there  surprise, the smaller fleet plung

head on inside there own ranks. Quickly they feel to Chaos, unable to operate as unit.

With despair they lost nearly half of there strength in this first clash.

 

Soon they regain some cohesion, they set there eyes on the damaged Barge, which was 

slowy gain distance to them. Such a venerable Ship, they guess, the Enemy would not

abandon. But the Enemy did exactly this, leaving the Ship alone behind. Quickly they

started boarding it. In one aspect they were right, they never intend to abandon it, they

gave it as Bait away. Only with other Defenders, then usally deployed, Terminator Troops

await them, ambush them as they succed in captureing the ship form behind.

 

To add more confusion, as soon as they started boarding with the majority of there Troops.

The Knights quickly attacked there fleet which formed a blockade and suceed in boarding

it. Even a few vessles they sized and used them to attack form inside.

 

After a solar day, the Chapter Master, to his own shame, surrender his roughly 300

remaing men, unable to risk more lives and the Chapters future. Unkown for him,

that they nearly won, only to fail in there last attemp. The Battlebarge, devasted

in and outside, would never see combat again.

 

The current Knights Leader, who adhere to the belive, destroy your enemy now, before

he bite you back later, but before he could destroy them, the Inquistion arrived. Lured in

by the Distress Calls over Demons. He quickly brought both sides to the table.

 

After lengthy deabtes, they found an agrement. The Knights got there Battlebarge as

replacemnt for there own. The sized vessels were added to them as well. With the

Ships they lost a huge part of there Armoury.

 

The Inquistor make clear, that such acts again are forbidden. The knights should clean

up this mess entierly before leaving the sector. Later was reported that the remaining

Chapter got lost in Warp.

 

 

I'm sorry. The story was hard to follow. I think it mostly comes down to the difficulty with the lenguage. I'll try to revisit this part later, and read it more carefully, to comment on it as best I can, but for now, I had to skip some of it.

 

Organisation:

The Chapter strolled away form the Codex, after the desatrous battle among the Forge

World Delta IV. The enemy had use the makrings dictaed by the CA, to priotize killing

Officers and Apothecarii, crippling the Chapter.

 

During the War of the beast, the Chapter introduced new Formations, they fielded

Companny of 50 Men, to ensure a higher Mobility and too spread further there crippeld

forces. Later they formed the entire chapter after it.

 

Usally the Chapter deploy his Divisons alongside ongoing Crusades and Campaings,

mostly they undertook great Strengths, to ensure open Supply Lines, allowing to

continue the Fights.

 

Born out of heavy losses and from there new Homeworld,they see the carefully

management of Human Lives as important. They prefer steady fights with

few but devastaing Strikes. Unnecessary Last Stands or honor driven Battles,

are for others. They let the enemy bleed out, at the End, they remain maybe

not as Victors, but nether as Losers.

 

Winning is fine, but if the price is anhilation, then it isnt worth it, remain

at the End standing, it is the goal.


 

Fist iam sorry for this Format, i write it later new from Scratch, importing out of a Email wasnt my best idea.

 

Lore to add:
Equipment Section built Out
Ship named
Map for both Rhine World and Bit more lore
Heraldy Card
How they joined Indominus Crusade
Polish the tactics
Chapter culture


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"Fiat lux!"
- Battle cry of the Wings of Dawn, a Dark Angel's Successor Chapter

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#6
gripschi

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Thanks for the the input so far.

 

With the History youre right. The main problem is, i have reworte it recently. Add new things, dont think about the old one.

 

I will fix it up, one thing i saw, i should add Timestamps in the History, should also clear some points.

 

In response to the Homeworld (short summary): I image them to start out on the Ramilies for the next few millenias. Maybe i bound it to the moiare shisma, something like it is becomeing far difficult to maintain it. So they use it as stationary Defense now.

 

 

Again thanks, i will rework, some good points i have now.



#7
Messor

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If you choose the "Automatic" font color, it will be readable on both desktop and mobile.


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The Liber; it's like a Biscopea for DIYs!

Messor's Content


#8
Bjorn Firewalker

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I'm reading this slowly, due to previously mentioned difficulties.

Affiliation: Moiare Adeptus Mechanicus, Rouge Trader Dynasty Nebucanezder,
Adeptus Administratum (sided during AoA), Adeptus Munitorum

"Affiliation" should inform us if this Chapter is loyal to the Imperium, to Chaos, to themselves (i.e., they're renegades who owe no loyalty to those outside the Chapter), to xenos and/or other third parties...

"Moiare Adeptus Mechanicus, Rouge Trader Dynasty Nebucanezder,
Adeptus Administratum, Adeptus Munitorum" should be listed as ALLIES. In the Administratum and Munitorum's cases, the organizations' sheer size should make it IMPOSSIBLE for your Chapter to be allied to them in whole- rivalry between various Astra Militarum regiments and their leaders regularly result in them fighting against each other, as the Gaunt's Ghosts novels demonstrate, so it's inevitable certain Munitorum factions will view the Knights as mortal enemies, even as other Munitorum factions view your Chapter as true friends- so you should specify which Administratum factions and Astra Militarum regiments are the Knights' allies.

Battle Cry: For the 11th Goddess! Glory to his Imperial Majesty!

Is the 11th Goddess a reference to Tanya von Degurechaff?

Anyways, the Ecclesiarchy recognizes no gods and goddesses besides the Emperor; certain Primarchs may be worshiped as gods on Chapter planets, but even that is barely tolerated, as demonstrated in the Fenris Incident. You should NOT refer to this individual as a "goddess," but as a saint; and reword the battle cry as "For the Emperor and the 11th Saint! Glory to His Immortal Majesty and the Imperium He built!" so the Ecclesiarchy and the Inquisition won't think you're showing the Emperor disrespect by honoring any non-Primarch befor Him (note "He," "Him," and "His" are capitalized when referring to the Emperor, as it is for God in the Bible).
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Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#9
gripschi

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Hello, First sorry for the Lack of Feedback from me. I had a catch a cold.

I have read your answers. I have realized, i got somewhere away from a uniform IA.

Therefore, i will go back to drawing Board, correct some stuff and clear my mess Up :).

With Godess is indeed a refernce to TtE. With Saint it fit way better in the fluff.

With Affiliation, i mean allies, somehow i mess this up.

I have a few ideas and corrections, overall i will stick with the current but refine it.

Ideas:
The 2 Faction stuff will be removed. Maybe i alter it.

To reflect the Knights in the Name, i will edit the Organisation, as refernce i use the German Chapter i guess.

Remove the Moiare Part, or at least, find a other reason for a Bad Relation. Maybe the extensive modify of the Rhinos, spoil the mood.

The Rouge Traders, will remain, i Like the idea of this. As Well a solution to gain old out of service Ships and Equipment.

Adminstraum, they will be formal allies, forged during the AoA. Maybe early they enforce tiths of rebellious planets.

To specify, i harbour the idea of accompany the Munitorium Part of it, during Crusades and Campains.

With a doctrine of logistical Warfare, they indedd act as Special Ops, but enforce Open Supply Lines and target the enemies.

Gene Seed, when i remeber right, its possible that Clean Imperial Fist Seed still exist? With full working Organes.

Church, they harbour a mistrust towards tgem. Heated during M36 relegious wars. I Like the Idea, of a War somewhere this time.

Why a Homeworld? I Imagine them to start Fleet Based, but loses and missfortune, they seek a Safe remote haven to resuplly.

But they should maintain the fromer Idea of Indenpence of the Forces.

Stroll from Codex, during there First Battles, they took heavy losses. They alter only the Company size to increase flexibilty.

Later they adopt to the new Forces, build a Indenpent second "Division".

After a Battle against Part of the Dark Adeptus Mechanicus, they lost many Officers, Apothecarii and Tech Marines, which easy to ident through Markings.

Lead the Knights to break further, banish the colur and Markings.

So far my ideas for now. I will the Post edit next Week i think.

#10
gripschi

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Hello,

 

this weekend on work, i have use the time to overhaul the entire IA. With a far better Layout, i think.

 

The Colour of the Post should be readable, i choose the automatic one.

 

Later i will try to add colour, and make it a bit nicer to look at.

_

 

Again thanks for your input so far. Its still a WIP, iam sure i ahve miss some things to add.


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#11
Bjorn Firewalker

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The exact date is lost in time. The few remaining pieces, indicate action during the “War of the Beast”. Contrary to it, the Chapter was officially founded in the aftermath of this disastrous War, as a Crusader Chapter, labeled as Chapter 203 until, a name is chosen. Leading to following Theory:

They were indeed in the 4th founding, but their Officer Skeletal, was formed out of surviving Astartes from this time. Which brought there remaining belongings in the newly founded Chapter, leading to pieces of history somewhat alien to them.

Why such a complicated and confusing statement? You can say the Chapter's Librarius has journals from Marines who fought in the War of the Beast, while its Halls of Honor display trophies taken during this war, both evidence contradicting the Administratum's records of when the Chapter was founded.

Why the contradiction? Were the original Marines from the disgraced Fists Exemplar Chapter, or even Iron Warriors who fought to defend humanity in that war?

Nitpicking, with "[" and "]" highlighting recommended changes:
Spoiler

Edited by Bjorn Firewalker, 15 October 2019 - 05:39 PM.

Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#12
gripschi

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The exact date is lost in time. The few remaining pieces, indicate action during the “War of the Beast”. Contrary to it, the Chapter was officially founded in the aftermath of this disastrous War, as a Crusader Chapter, labeled as Chapter 203 until, a name is chosen. Leading to following Theory:

They were indeed in the 4th founding, but their Officer Skeletal, was formed out of surviving Astartes from this time. Which brought there remaining belongings in the newly founded Chapter, leading to pieces of history somewhat alien to them.

Why such a complicated and confusing statement? You can say the Chapter's Librarius has journals from Marines who fought in the War of the Beast, while its Halls of Honor display trophies taken during this war, both evidence contradicting the Administratum's records of when the Chapter was founded.

Why the contradiction? Were the original Marines from the disgraced Fists Exemplar Chapter, or even Iron Warriors who fought to defend humanity in that war?

Nitpicking, with "[" and "]" highlighting recommended changes:
Spoiler

 

 

To be honest, i didnt image a better way to "conclude" there Founding. But your one is far better. I think i will go with it. I like the Idea better then my =)

 

Thanks for the Grammar Corrections, i will inplent them in the near furture.



#13
Bjorn Firewalker

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More nitpicking:
Spoiler

Edited by Bjorn Firewalker, 18 October 2019 - 03:19 AM.

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Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#14
gripschi

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Thanks again.

The overuse of Rhine is a good Hint. I think i go with the River alone.

With Star System, Sector vice versa, you have a valid point. I rework that too.

That the use of "got" is poor manners is new. But my Englisch Teacher, was usallly half of the year sick. I am afraid that some basics, still didnt Made it in my head.

 

Edit:

 

I have implemnt your corrections so far.

 

To your Question with Fist Exemplars and Iron Warriors.

 

I dont intent to go on the Rail of Traitor Geneseed. The Chapter is definitely a Sucessor of the Imperial Fists (wich was my first Chapter, in Wh40k i liked most, its a bit a sentimental choice).

 

The Fist Exemplars (which i didnt know until now), is a very intersting choice, which i maybe took.

 

I have the Idea, of Pure IF Gene seed, is found along the Star Fort.


Edited by gripschi, 16 October 2019 - 09:21 AM.


#15
gripschi

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Just a short Life sign :)

I add in the next days new stuff. Around 2000 Words. I feel Like, i Put togehter slowy all it need.

I expand the Recruitment Process, along with Equipment and some Things Here and there.

A New Battle, where i Pick Up the Church.

I Work Out a WIP Relations Part. I assume i rework it later, for the Moment it is a rough Idea.

Still i need to adress the Point regarding the Star Fort and Home System.

For the second one, i maybe go as addition with it, a concept from the Last Trisolaris Book. A Star System Coverd in a Black Hole.

Which i Lack complety at the Moment are "Important Persona". I have few ideas, but nothing written down.

#16
gripschi

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Update is Live.

 

Iam sure there are new typos inside, sorry for that, i have try to avoid them as much i can. (Sadly i guess it is still not enough)

 

Few things still need atention:

 

Star Fort, Indominus Crusade, a Enemy Section, Persona Important,

 

Besides this, most should inside now, leading slowy to a full (but not finsihed Draft).

 

Greetinmgs and Thank for Critic and Questions



#17
gripschi

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Short Lifesing from me.

I Update the IA next Week, in my free time in Work i reworked many Details.

Add a first Draft for Home World Culture. Equipment is on the List.

Iam currently thinking about the Ramilies Star Fort, i tend to change it to a Capital Ship like the Sidonia (from Knights of Sidonia) or more Like Atlantis (Stargate) for Example.

A good New YEAR from me to all of you.

#18
Grey Hunter Ydalir

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Ok, I have two immediate comments that I can bang out without having read too far into it.

 

Apologies, my feral kids are going, well, feral this morning.

 

One, the formatting. I understand it may have been different before, but the font choice and size is irritating to read. Despite what some might say, formatting matters quite a lot to how easy your work is to read. I like the standard formatting that the B&C has, and at least until you're happy and finished, I'd stick with it.

 

Two, the Rhine. The more real world-places and names you put in your IA, the harder you make it for the reader to suspend their disbelief. Now, it is conceivable and possible that there is another world with a river also named the Rhine, but in an age where the older countries, continents and peoples on Terra have been forgotten and misremembered over the millennia, it seems unlikely that a simple name for a landmark would survive intact and recognizable to us now. Doubly so for the DaoT, Age of Strife and then all poor imperial record keeping afterwards.

 

It's not that it's impossible, it's just that that link to our real world pulls me right out of your work as 40k related and slams me back into the real world. That's not what you want.

 

I'll try to actually read more later. When my kids are placated, or imprisoned, either way.


The Octaguide.
The Thousand Marine Myth.

On the scale mismatch of bolts and bolters by Coldfyre

Commissar Molotov's Castigators - Essential reading for IA Creation.

"...I have seen the birth of this world and I have seen its death. I walked with the first men and I shared a beer with the last. For me everyone is both old and young at the same time as a million lifetimes pass before my eyes and humanity is like the grains of sand in the desert, each breath to me a sigh in the vast never-ending vacumn of space."
-Silver Phoenix


#19
gripschi

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Ok, I have two immediate comments that I can bang out without having read too far into it.

Apologies, my feral kids are going, well, feral this morning.

One, the formatting. I understand it may have been different before, but the font choice and size is irritating to read. Despite what some might say, formatting matters quite a lot to how easy your work is to read. I like the standard formatting that the B&C has, and at least until you're happy and finished, I'd stick with it.

Two, the Rhine. The more real world-places and names you put in your IA, the harder you make it for the reader to suspend their disbelief. Now, it is conceivable and possible that there is another world with a river also named the Rhine, but in an age where the older countries, continents and peoples on Terra have been forgotten and misremembered over the millennia, it seems unlikely that a simple name for a landmark would survive intact and recognizable to us now. Doubly so for the DaoT, Age of Strife and then all poor imperial record keeping afterwards.

It's not that it's impossible, it's just that that link to our real world pulls me right out of your work as 40k related and slams me back into the real world. That's not what you want.

I'll try to actually read more later. When my kids are placated, or imprisoned, either way.


One: i wrote the IA in a WPS Sheet. I will adress the formating in the near Future. Maybe i find a blanko or so.

Tow: I know, but as far my memory reach,Rhine is the only "Real World" Name i use. Which remain as Chapter and River Name

But why coldnt the River be named Rhine? I dont say that they know why IT IS named Rhine. It is just the River Rhine.

To be honest, i didnt understand your "catapult Out". Many IA based losley on Real World Cultures and utilize Names.

My thoughts to your reply.

Greetings

#20
Marshal Rohr

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Rhine etymologically approximates 'that which flows', so perhaps a word that encompasses that same meaning?


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Your opinion is important, and someone posting here probably does care what you think. You should go tell them. Remember that it really hurts to come up with an idea you care about and have no one else care. Go care about something and tell them what you think. Now. Think of what it would have meant to you when you were young.

 

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A Group for Lore Minded Hobbyists and World Building Projects

 


#21
gripschi

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Rhine etymologically approximates 'that which flows', so perhaps a word that encompasses that same meaning?


Hmh, thats a good Idea. Maybe i tie it, that Rhine is the Short form.

Iam Not Sure that it is in the next Update, but i will remember this Idea.

#22
Brother Lunkhead

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Sorry, I'm late to dinner on this oneblush.png But, so much to read and so little time. I did a quick readthrough and I like what I see so far. I'll do a more careful read this week and try to give you a more thorough and thoughtful critique later.

 

On the subject of your chapter's name and the river Rhine battle, I don't see any real problem here. The planet could have been settled during the age of great expansion during the golden (dark) age of technology by nostalgic minded folk from that part of Old Earth. We humans are often attached to old names and places. Here in the U.S. of A. just to name a few places: New York, New Hampshire, Rome (I can't tell you how many places big and small are named Rome). So I say staying with Rhine is finebiggrin.png

 

Should you feel at all uncomfortable about it, you might consider just changing the spelling a bit.... Rine, Rhyne, Ryne, Ryn,..... you get my point. Or, maybe Rhine..... just a thoughtmsn-wink.gif

 

Even though your grammar is a bit rough, your meaning comes across just fine. I would suggest you concentrate on the subject matter for now and we can help you smooth out the rough edges of grammar at the end. I completely empathize with English being a second language for you. I think you're doing an amazing job, so don't worry about it.


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gallery_26154_15777_13780.png


#23
Bjorn Firewalker

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Rhine is spelled "Rhenus" in Latin, "Rhein" in German (it's Rheinmetall's namesake), "Ren" in Polish, "Reno" in Italian, "Reyn" in Turkish...

I'm sure you can use one of the spellings found when reading the Wikipedia article in other languages.
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Wolf Scout- Catachan barking toad eggs+ Thousand Sons Marine= Fun! (Wolves of Catachan)

Warhammer 40,000+ Star Wars- Rian Johnson- Reylo= AWESOME! (Knights of Renaissance)

Reasons to use the Steel Crusaders ('Codex: Space Marines' supplement) or the Iron-hearted Angels ('Codex: Blood Angels' supplement): Because you think giving Sternguard Veterans a heavy bolter wtih special issue HEAVY BOLTER ammunition is ALMOST as much fun as shoehorning an Earthshaker cannon into a Land Raider.

#24
gripschi

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Rhine etymologically approximates 'that which flows', so perhaps a word that encompasses that same meaning?

 

 

Sorry, I'm late to dinner on this oneblush.png But, so much to read and so little time. I did a quick readthrough and I like what I see so far. I'll do a more careful read this week and try to give you a more thorough and thoughtful critique later.

 

On the subject of your chapter's name and the river Rhine battle, I don't see any real problem here. The planet could have been settled during the age of great expansion during the golden (dark) age of technology by nostalgic minded folk from that part of Old Earth. We humans are often attached to old names and places. Here in the U.S. of A. just to name a few places: New York, New Hampshire, Rome (I can't tell you how many places big and small are named Rome). So I say staying with Rhine is finebiggrin.png

 

Should you feel at all uncomfortable about it, you might consider just changing the spelling a bit.... Rine, Rhyne, Ryne, Ryn,..... you get my point. Or, maybe Rhine..... just a thoughtmsn-wink.gif

 

Even though your grammar is a bit rough, your meaning comes across just fine. I would suggest you concentrate on the subject matter for now and we can help you smooth out the rough edges of grammar at the end. I completely empathize with English being a second language for you. I think you're doing an amazing job, so don't worry about it.

 

 

Rhine is spelled "Rhenus" in Latin, "Rhein" in German (it's Rheinmetall's namesake), "Ren" in Polish, "Reno" in Italian, "Reyn" in Turkish...

I'm sure you can use one of the spellings found when reading the Wikipedia article in other languages.

 

I like your Ideas. They will get in some form implement later. I think i go with High and Low Gothic Names., there i can adress it further i guess.

 

The Name Rhine did i like out of several Reasons, i like his historical meaning in Peace and War, iam a Fan of Tanya the Evil. So i have choosen it to incoperate it. Along with my faszination over Knights.

____

 

Besides that, i have inseret the Update, i have formated it a bit, hopefully it is good to read. A proper Formating will follow later.

 

I have reworked many Parts, mostly Equipment and add a Home World Culture. The other Parts get mostly minor Changes.

 

For help with Failures and Problems, i say thanks in advance.

 

Greetings


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