Jump to content

Welcome to The Bolter and Chainsword
Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, post status updates, manage your profile and so much more. If you already have an account, login here - otherwise create an account for free today!
Photo

The Strigoi (LASC 2021) - Updated 26/03/21

Blood Angels Successor Unknown Founding Close Combat Shock Assault AHP

  • Please log in to reply
94 replies to this topic

#1
AHorriblePerson

AHorriblePerson

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 578 posts
  • Location:Germany
  • Faction: Various

THE STRIGOI

gallery_108437_15926_51265.jpgCHAPTER NAME: ............... STRIGOI
FOUNDING: ................... UNKNOWN [EVIDENCE INDICATES A PRE-M.35 FOUNDING]
CHAPTER WORLD/DEPLOYMENT: ... MARAGRAD/CRUSADE CHAPTER
FORTRESS MONASTERY: ......... ARX CREPUSCULA [LUNAR FORTRESS]
GENE-SEED (PREDECESSOR): .... BLOOD ANGELS
KNOWN DESCENDANTS: .......... NONE







 
"Come not between the Dragon and His Wrath."
- Strigoi Chapter Motto

T
erse of word and fell of deed, the Strigoi are distinguished by their potential for wanton carnage. Hubristic in their belief to fulfil the Emperor’s vision for the Blood, they are pariahs of the Sanguinary Brotherhood and parley with its members only under the direst of circumstances. Rare is the general who serves alongside this Chapter of their own volition and still, there are those who would petition them for aid. In spite of a lack of sodality, these Space Marines can be trusted to uproot and destroy the foes of mankind utterly, forever questing, restless like their fabled namesake. War must be waged with neither pause nor hesitation - Angels, after all, were not made for kindness.

Whether time will make fools of Sanguinius’ unruly children or justify them in their bearing remains to be decided.


ORIGINS

gallery_108437_15926_94039.jpg
Unknown Strigoi Astartes, ca. M.38 - Remembrancer's Sketch

Of Wayward Sons
To seek out solid information about the past of this distant Chapter is to invite disappointment. Tenuous cooperation with the Adeptus Administratum has yielded the most rudimentary of data and even the tomes penned to commemorate the Strigoi’s creation have been found redacted, the lore held within lost like so many other works of this darkest age. Although the hope of one day restoring such precious knowledge is a feeble one at best, those who yearn for it are not restricted to baseless supposition. Ten millennia of historical records, after action reviews and ancillary documents have left observant investigators with a hidden paper trail from which some enlightenment may yet be gleaned.
 
An apocryphal account detailing hitherto undiscovered parts of the IX Primarch’s legacy, the Insignium Sanguis has remained under limited access since its discovery, being the result of research independent from Imperial authorities. The sheer wealth of information it provides cannot be denied, however, and so the work has been used in official dissertations despite repeated doubts in its authenticity. Its pages are the only ones to mention at any length an order of Space Marines “daubed in Unification’s stormy grey, for the Great Angel’s crimson was theirs to wear no longer.” To them, it ascribes “six hundred and sixteen greater brutalities committed In Nomine Imperatoris, lamented by the Adeptus Terra but needed one and all.” Many are the wars whose very existence now stands to question, supported by nothing save anecdotal evidence found beneath the Imperial Palace and, it is said, the honours inscribed upon the oldest of the Strigoi’s ancient dreadnought armours.
 
Chapter history proper begins in M.35 as they were discovered fighting insurgencies following the secession of Nova Terra. Given their complete ignorance of these warriors’ mere existence (one among countless victims of Imperial bureaucracy, no doubt), the High Senate dispatched an Inquisitorial envoy to find and learn more of this unknown quantity. Their efforts were met with little success as they could barely determine a Blood Angels descent and purported ident-code (Cross-ref.: ‘Chapter 101’) before the Astartes departed, decrying the entire affair as “idle prattle.” So has most known intelligence on the Strigoi been gathered: collected piecemeal in the wake of unnumbered battlefields. It is not the only custom born that day, for their apparent skill at slaying traitors did not go unnoticed. Stamping out these would-be revolutions has caused the Chapter to hold a special grudge for those enemies hiding among subjects loyal to the Golden Throne; a hatred the Lords of the Imperium do not refuse to call upon.
 

HOME WORLD

 
Maragrad - The Crucible
The Chapter is based in the Marag System, deep within the northern galactic arm. Nearly bereft of all sentient life, it serves as an ideal stronghold for a brotherhood as fiercely independent as theirs. Only the system’s eponymous capital planet provides ample ground for mankind to prosper, making it the Strigoi’s primary source of recruits.
Of its history before the coming of the Chapter, little is known. Evidence seems to suggest that the star system was settled by human colonists not long before the dawn of the Age of Strife. It must have been this infamous era of warp-borne madness and burning worlds that tore the fledgling civilisation asunder and ground it down to its primitive remains.
 
Maragrad would be rediscovered towards the end of the 30th millennium by Imperial expeditionaries. Having made the arduous journey into Ultima Segmentum, these dutiful pioneers lingered long enough to record their findings before leaving for the frontlines of the unfolding Horus Heresy, the world slipping into obscurity for centuries more. The Strigoi found a domain of gloaming beauty to call their own, untouched by the hand of industry and bedecked with mist-laden forests. Such worlds had been rare even in the days of the Great Crusade, and still, none within the Chapter spared a thought on their unusual find. Their attention lay beneath the sea of green, where a deadly clash of man and monster moulds prime material for the Adeptus Astartes.
 
A world that fights human settlement with tooth and claw, Maragrad breeds a hardy people. Carving out meagre lives in the shadow of vicious nocturnal megafauna has evolved the native clansfolk into natural-born killers that rely on each other for strength in numbers, the one advantage left to them come Old Night’s end. To hunt their erstwhile predators has grown from mere necessity to become an integral part of their society where the creatures’ hides have become a sign of status, worn by none but the greatest of Maragrad’s champions. Such a warlike culture spoke to the grey-clad Space Marines as today, the death world’s young vie to be reforged as mighty soldiers of the skies.
 
A Fortress Between the Stars
Barring their recruitment drives, the Astartes have little contact with the Maragrans. Recluses by choice, they make a quality out of solitude, thoroughly illustrated by the bulwark of stone and metal that is their fortress-monastery.
The Arx Crepuscula (Low Gothic transl.: Duskhold) is no creation of the Strigoi, its artless spires and black-metal ramparts having existed long before they first laid anchor at their new home world’s sole moon. Initially identified via auspex as a cluster of underground storage facilities, subsequent expeditions performed by veteran kill teams revealed the satellite had been hollowed out to accommodate a Terran star fort of ancient provenance. Though little power coursed through its systems and no trace of the structure’s occupants remained, the discovery was deemed a sign of the Emperor’s favour. Chapter 101 claimed their prize by right of conquest.
 
Centuries later, the Duskhold still stands firm as a symbol of Imperial supremacy. That it is confined to Maragrad’s orbit does not impede its deadliness, far from it: no effort was spared to ensure the monastery’s defences can stymie any threat to the home world at considerable range. Its firepower is controlled by a small army of serfs, indentured menials that manage the daily goings-on of the keep and oversee the maintenance of it and its contents. The Hold is scarcely attended by more than a handful of Marines as endless war demands their attention elsewhere. This may go some way in explaining why many of the halls and passages remain unexplored to this day - indeed, with the Chapter preoccupied, hardly anyone has dared descend into the moon’s bottomless depths over the millennia. Of those driven enough to try, not all returned; their lives ending in one of the unnavigable, labyrinthine corridors. A fortunate few would see the light of day once more, however, sometimes clutching fragments of technology thought lost to time.
 
Marag’s riches are kept far away from prying eyes not simply by means of the Duskold’s blistering weapons batteries; the space near the galactic core is also ripe with cosmic phenomena, making the knowledge of safe travelling routes an invaluable resource closely guarded by the Chapter. The System has remained unconquered for over five thousand years - nonetheless, there was certainly no shortage of attempts.
 
 
GENE-SEED AND BELIEFS

Addendum: The Waning
On the fading of the self, the rebirth of heroes lost and the looming spell of death.

+++ More to come. +++

Thirst Unslaked
Sanguinius’ genetic template provides his sons with qualities unique among the Adeptus Astartes. The spawn of the IX Legion have proven themselves tenacious, uncannily resilient and possessed of the singular ability to recruit from almost anywhere as the Blood Angels themselves exemplify by transforming the rad-scarred nomads of Baal Secundus into potent warriors cast in their master’s fair image.
 
Of course it is their more aberrant quirks for which the bloodline is famous; the twin flaws that have coloured their history for millennia. Most prominent of these is the Red Thirst, that primal craving for flesh and blood which has to be held in check constantly lest its bearers tear themselves apart. The Black Rage on the other hand manifests itself at the end of a battle-brother’s lifespan. Simultaneously the strongest tie to their Primarch and the greatest burden they possess, it forces them to experience their progenitor’s final moments in a delirium from which there is no escape. It is a wicked irony, then, that their very flesh ensures that these Space Marines die as they lived; caked in gore, screaming oaths to a father that cannot hear them.
 
In the Strigoi, the Blood Angels and their ilk show themselves inextricably linked to their gene-wrought nature as they feed on the viscera of the battlefield dead. Indulging this archaic carno-ritualism likely provided the catalyst for their own mutations, rendering the curse in their genes visible to all. Several appear strained by some unseen effort as their faces, so famously reminiscent of their Primarch’s features, are marred by pallid, craggy skin. The more poetic among their censors have spoken of their ancestors’ sins writ large, whereas others see unforgivable deviancy in an order of unsavoury prominence.
 
The somber practices of the Chapter are no mere attempt to still their urges. Cause for the excessive bloodletting is their belief that the Red Thirst is not part of their curse, but a boon bestowed upon them by the Emperor of Mankind. Knowing that His Imperium had need of both the cruel and the just, He charged them to visit terrible fury upon the alien, the daemon and the heretic, exacting the will needed to restrain their inner brute once the day is won. Such a path holds opportunities for glory and madness in equal fashion, but the Strigoi march on undeterred. Sanguinius’ blood boils in their veins by design, and to neglect its call is to neglect their duty.
 
Credo Martialis
To the dismay of Imperial officials, Strigoi ordinance does not halt at the defilement of enemy remains, dictating the consumption of their own slain in a morbid show of ancestor worship. Their memories preserved through the ill-understood workings of the omophagea, the fallen are granted a measure of immortality, an eternal life more vivid than the likes of unread records or corrupted pict-feeds could provide. Only the death of the last Strigoi could end their Chapter’s legacy: an ever-evolving archive of battlefield experience.
 
An all-encompassing fixation on martial prowess has saturated most of the Strigoi’s myriad traditions. This is hardly a surprise given their belligerent nature, yet easily missed as their savage get belies any sophistication. From brief periods of meditation to the furor of live-fire drills, every facet of life within the Chapter is shaped by the desire to fashion battle-brothers with unparalleled control over their dark humours. Of particular note is the regular custom of gladiatoria, ritual combat serving not only to establish individual skill-at-arms but as an outlet for the mania perpetually gnawing at the Chapter’s spirits. Death is no stranger among the contestants despite the duels’ cathartic purpose, a circumstance that cannot be explained away entirely by debts of honour or slights avenged.
 
As a Space Marine’s body is covered in battle scars and devotional tattoos, so too does their armour affirm their many achievements. All Strigoi are encouraged to add to and display their personal heraldry, adorning their suits with trophies, campaign badges and kill-tallies. The resulting prestige and reputation are fundamental to their warrior culture, pertaining directly to a Brother-Marine’s influence among his kin. Crude as it might appear, the system fosters bonds between Strigoi officers and their men as with the right crusade honour, even a humble brother of the line could have the ear of his Captain.
 
The Chapter’s dogged single-mindedness has seen them disgraced among their fellow brothers of the Blood, a testament to the potential of Sanguinius’ gene-line squandered in the name of blind fanaticism. It is a cross they bear with bitter pride, unfaltering in their duty but disquieted all the same.
 
gallery_108437_15926_17488.jpg
Demi-Squad Matei - Strigoi 9th Company, 1st Squad (Tactical)


 
TACTICS AND ORGANISATION

Addendum: Chapter Arsenal
Every war the Imperium wages is an endeavour of herculean proportions. To prevail, its armies need appropriate equipment and steady supply lines. Being a crusading force, the Strigoi are particularly hard-pressed to meet these requirements during their long voyages through hostile territory. As a result, the Chapter’s armoury is highly compartmentalised. Their strike cruisers and battle barges maintain separate stocks of transport vehicles, bikes and assorted materiel, leaving the great vaults of the Duskhold rather empty.

The bulk of these items is produced by the forge-wrights of Medea Prime, a Mechanicus-held world bound to the Chapter through treatises recalled by none save their venerable dreadnoughts. Only through the artifice of the Medean synod are the Strigoi able to procure the arms they desire, preferring resilience and ease of repair over the conveniences of more sophisticated wargear. Especially noteworthy in this regard is their impressive fleet of Land Raiders, allowing each line company to call upon a number of these long-lived lords of war.

Grit and Ferocity
Any conflict involving the Strigoi is an unsubtle and grisly affair. Their inherited bloodlust compels them to seek their foes out as fast as possible, rending them to pieces in the mayhem of close combat. Most often, this translates into massed infantry assaults supported by mobile heavy weaponry, making rapid personal transportation crucial to the Chapter’s battle doctrine. Drop pods, Impulsors and even flights of Thunderhawks weathering opposing firepower before disgorging squads of Space Marines at close range are a sight most familiar to onlookers. Line units carry additional melee armaments as a result, wielding an assortment of chainblades, serrated combat knives and short-range pistols as often as boltguns and -rifles. Jump pack-equipped troops enjoy particular eminence, their speed weaponizing the bearer’s sheer mass to crush their mark underfoot. Intense as they are, these deployments leave any mortal allies far behind them; a consequence that serves the Chapter well enough. The Strigoi form the tip of the Imperium’s sword, striking a single, crippling blow that leaves their victims helpless in the face of imminent annihilation.
 
Deep inside enemy lines, the warriors of the Chapter gladly undo the mental locks keeping their Thirst in check, wreaking havoc with an apathy for collateral damage that borders on the callous. Nobler souls may have attempted to dispel these tales, denounce them as insult to their honour or silence the defamers. Entirely unphased by such claims, the Strigoi embraced their ill repute, now synonymous with bloody subjugation. Yet the most dreadful aspect of their craft is witnessed after the fighting is done, when the Marines gather the bodies of the slain and their priests recite the litany of purification. Only then do they give way to the acts earning them the byname Voratores Mortem - the Eaters of the Dead.
 
Hierarchy of the Host
Over the course of their long and storied existence, the chapter has developed an organisational structure divergent from codex standard. Based on the guidelines presented by Primarch Guilliman, the Strigoi are divided into ten companies, each with a nominal strength of 100 Space Marines. Of these, eight are outfitted as battle companies, a circumstance attributed to the Strigoi’s pragmatism and insatiable hunger for war. Providing them with additional flexibility, the adjustments allow the Space Marines to hold multiple fronts scattered throughout the galaxy, scout- and veteran formations being deployed as the situation demands.
 
These are ideal conditions. In truth, the Strigoi are continuously undermanned as they endure the ravages of blood and battle, amounting to less than 700 full-fledged Astartes. Battle companies are fleeting things, fracturing and absorbing one another as their numbers wax and wane. There is little to be done against this severe attrition bar upholding an aggressive recruiting policy spanning all their tributary fiefs. Maragran culture may consider conscription an honour but from the noisome hives of Vilis to the scorched plains of Daumathar, rancour reigns the day ships bearing skulls and blood drops hang in the sky.
 
Unique Formations
Like their progenitors, the Strigoi field an array of specialist units and officers. Being of a less spiritual bent, the distinction of these Marines is invariably owed to their exceptional characteristics and unusual obligations. None of them truly operate outside of the command hierarchy of the Chapter, though all stand - in different ways - alone.

  • The Impalers - Observed to act as the equivalent of the Sanguinary Guard, the Impalers have devolved into an instrument of violence rather than virtue. Their members are undoubtedly the Chapter’s most murderous elements brought together, armed and armoured with the finest wargear available. Impaler charges are fearsome things accompanied by frenzied howls and a thirst for blood that comes too easily to even these Astartes, a trait that has caused the assault cadre to remain a source of concern despite their undeniable efficiency.
  • The Wardens - Informally referred to as Opsequiari, these sullen figures are much akin to the Chaplains of other Space Marine Chapters. Alongside serving in their roles as war-priests, ritual guides and retainers of the Strigoi’s most precious relics, it is they who must watch their fellows for traces of madness. In this matter they are the sole authority within the Chapter, expunging rogue elements at their own discretion. A Warden must therefore be a brother of unbreakable resolve, else the weight of his duties utterly crushes him.
  • The Death Company - The Chapter’s afflicted are called the Morituri, for the sentence of all who wear red saltires is death. Dispersed among the Chapter’s strike forces, each group is overseen by a Warden intended to escort them into their last battle. With the readiness at which Strigoi officers throw these lost souls into ‘Forlorn Hope’-assaults, estimating their strength is nigh-impossible. Some have looked to the pits of the Chapter’s fortress-monastery in search of answers, its darkness parted by the fitful cries of caged beasts...

 

 

INSIGNIUM ASTARTES

gallery_108437_15926_45784.jpg
Brother Alek - Strigoi 2nd Company, 5th Squad (Tactical)

Appearance
Strigoi power armour typically bears the grey of unpainted ceramite mixed with fields of white, black and gunmetal. Even with the significance of their chosen colours - or lack thereof - unknown, they underline the Astartes’ cold, disparaging demeanour.
 
Conversely, the rest of their heraldry betrays the beast beneath. The rugged, bullish type V warplate they favour emanates the same violence the Chapter has quickly become synonymous with, its characteristic molecular bonding studs having found their way onto many other suits since. The beauteous blood drop pendants, icons and trappings of the Angels are made symbols of their sinister intent, joined by grim reminders of mortality. Flensed, hollow-eyed skulls are chained to belts and shoulder plates, oath papers and armorials promise an unquiet death to those who would fall upon the realms of man.
 
True to their ad-hoc nature, the Strigoi have long ago resolved to use only the most crucial markings to denote their strategic disposition. Usually borne on the right pauldron are the appropriate symbols for either veteran status, battleline-, close support- or heavy support duty while company designations are foregone completely. Squad numeration is limited to the respective sergeants’ armour, lessening the effort of merging depleted squads and serving to identify unit leaders.

Chapter Badge
The sigil of the Strigoi is the Vultus Monstrum. Displayed here is the visage of the victorious predator, tearing its eyes from its quarry to stare down another adversary - a warning and an unspoken challenge both.

NOTABLE PERSONNEL


Hidden Content


Edited by AHorriblePerson, 03 April 2021 - 05:56 PM.

  • Gree, KBA, Brother Cambrius and 9 others like this

#2
AHorriblePerson

AHorriblePerson

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 578 posts
  • Location:Germany
  • Faction: Various

So, I finally got around to posting my homebrew. This is my chapter, the Strigoi!

 

The article in its current state is far from finished; posting it here made me realise that I put the focus on the wrong topics for the beginning... but characters and relics just happen to be a lot more alluring to write about on the short term than fleshing out a chapter cult, talking about the arsenal or even padding out their early history. I'll get around to it, though - either way, the information provided should be sufficient for the LASC.

 

Hope you enjoy reading this, C&C are always appreciated!

 

-Horrible



#3
Bjorn Firewalker

Bjorn Firewalker

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 14,743 posts
  • Location:Catachan
  • Faction: Catachan Wolves
Excellent work. You demonstrate good imagination throughout the IA. I especially like the Bloodied Maw as an honor marking.

It can use more polishing, e.g., adding blank lines between paragraphs, so the IA won't be an unintelligible "wall of text." (Remember, the tabs that differentiate paragraphs in a *.txt or *.doc file, are automatically omitted when it's converted into an *.html file.)

More nitpicking, with suggested corrections put between the "[" and "]" symbols:
Spoiler

Edited by Bjorn Firewalker, 29 October 2019 - 11:23 PM.

  • AHorriblePerson likes this
Previous projects: Wolves of Catachan (the Wolfbrothers Chapter reborn), Steel Crusaders (Codex: Iron Hands), Iron-hearted Angels (Codex: Blood Angels supplement).

Current projects: Knights of Renaissance (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Marines), Grim Knights of Grimm Nights (Red vs. Blue Marines).

#4
Ace Debonair

Ace Debonair

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 5,755 posts
  • Location:England, where it's probably raining
  • Faction: The Thousand Ideas

I like this Chapter. No frills, nothing fancy, just blood-hungry destroyers out to slaughter as many enemies of Humanity as they can find.

The only C&C I have to offer so far is this:
 

As descendants of Sanguinius, the Strigoi suffer from their bloodline’s twin flaws: the Red Thirst and Black Rage, though the chapter does not seem to make any effort to find a cure for their ailment. In fact, the Red Thirst in particular is seen as a weapon to be used to its fullest extent in battle, to be honed, directed and unleashed when called upon, explaining the terrifying bloodlust and cannibalistic rituals referenced in a plethora of testimonies made by witnesses of the chapter’s work.


To be an Impaler means to be both greater and lesser than the rest of the Strigoi. Their members are without a doubt the most gifted slayers of the chapter, their kill-tallies and thirst for blood without equal. It is this last fact that sheds unwelcome light on them however, as many of them stand accused of surrendering themselves to the Red Thirst. How much truth clings to these accusations may very well depend on the individual, though that means little to the chaplaincy. The chapter’s soul wardens keep a close eye on the Impalers and have not refrained from putting the headsman’s axe to their necks in the past.


If the Red Thirst is a weapon to be used to it's fullest extent, why does the Chapter look down on those who embrace it?

 

Furthermore, if their best warriors are embracing the Red Thirst, why would the whole Chapter not follow suit?

 

 

That minor nitpick aside, this is a very fine Chapter and a worthy addition to the LASC. Top stuff!


  • AHorriblePerson likes this

#5
AHorriblePerson

AHorriblePerson

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 578 posts
  • Location:Germany
  • Faction: Various

Excellent work. You demonstrate good imagination throughout the IA. I especially like the Bloodied Maw as an honor marking.

It can use more polishing, e.g., addimg blank lines between paragraphs, so the IA won't be an unintelligible "wall of text." (Remember, the tabs that differentiate paragraphs in a *.txt or *.doc file, are automatically omitted when it's converted into an *.html file.)

More nitpicking, with suggested corrections put between the "[" and "]" symbols:

Spoiler

Thanks a lot, I'll get to reformatting the text once I'm at home!


I like this Chapter. No frills, nothing fancy, just blood-hungry destroyers out to slaughter as many enemies of Humanity as they can find.

The only C&C I have to offer so far is this:

As descendants of Sanguinius, the Strigoi suffer from their bloodline’s twin flaws: the Red Thirst and Black Rage, though the chapter does not seem to make any effort to find a cure for their ailment. In fact, the Red Thirst in particular is seen as a weapon to be used to its fullest extent in battle, to be honed, directed and unleashed when called upon, explaining the terrifying bloodlust and cannibalistic rituals referenced in a plethora of testimonies made by witnesses of the chapter’s work.

To be an Impaler means to be both greater and lesser than the rest of the Strigoi. Their members are without a doubt the most gifted slayers of the chapter, their kill-tallies and thirst for blood without equal. It is this last fact that sheds unwelcome light on them however, as many of them stand accused of surrendering themselves to the Red Thirst. How much truth clings to these accusations may very well depend on the individual, though that means little to the chaplaincy. The chapter’s soul wardens keep a close eye on the Impalers and have not refrained from putting the headsman’s axe to their necks in the past.

If the Red Thirst is a weapon to be used to it's fullest extent, why does the Chapter look down on those who embrace it?

Furthermore, if their best warriors are embracing the Red Thirst, why would the whole Chapter not follow suit?


That minor nitpick aside, this is a very fine Chapter and a worthy addition to the LASC. Top stuff!
First of all, thanks for the kind words! Let me clear the thing about the Red Thirst up for you, I think you either misunderstood something or my writing is just really murky.

The way the Strigoi look at the Red Thirst in comparison to the Blood Angels is as an extremely useful tool rather than a true flaw, though both chapters seek to gain a measure of control over it. The Strigoi don't see any reason to hide their savagery behind a cultivated nobility like their parent chapter. Generally, the Impaler Squads are some of the chapter's space marines that seem to have mastered this "philosophy". Some among their ranks have taken it a bit further, though.

Here is where the difference between embracing and surrendering comes in.

If you happen to have read Devastation of Baal, you will be familiar with the Knights of Blood and the occupants of the Tower of Amareo, those space marines who have given in to the urges of the Red Thirst, forfeiting control over themselves to it - so much so that it manifested physically. That's the path a number of the Impalers are on, and the reason why the rest of the chapter - the chaplains especially - are wary of them. The Strigoi walk a dangerous path with the Red Thirst, and not everyone of them takes the same risks.

I hope that makes more sense, feel free to get back to me if you think it still doesn't add up.

Edited by AHorriblePerson, 29 October 2019 - 11:47 AM.

  • Bjorn Firewalker likes this

#6
Bjorn Firewalker

Bjorn Firewalker

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 14,743 posts
  • Location:Catachan
  • Faction: Catachan Wolves

The way the Strigoi look at the Red Thirst in comparison to the Blood Angels is as an extremely useful tool rather than a true flaw, though both chapters seek to gain a measure of control over it. The Strigoi don't see any reason to hide their savagery behind a cultivated nobility like their parent chapter. Generally, the Impaler Squads are some of the chapter's space marines that seem to have mastered this "philosophy". Some among their ranks have taken it a bit further, though.

Here is where the difference between embracing and surrendering comes in.

If you happen to have read Devastation of Baal, you will be familiar with the Knights of Blood and the occupants of the Tower of Amareo, those space marines who have given in to the urges of the Red Thirst, forfeiting control over themselves to it - so much so that it manifested physically. That's the path a number of the Impalers are on, and the reason why the rest of the chapter - the chaplains especially - are wary of them. The Strigoi walk a dangerous path with the Red Thirst, and not everyone of them takes the same risks.

I hope that makes more sense, feel free to get back to me if you think it still doesn't add up.

This is well-reasoned. I wonder how the Strigoi would get along with my Iron-hearted Angels?

By the way, as the Strigoi behave similarly to the Night Lords, does the Chapter have any bitter rivalries with the Night Haunter's sons, e.g., the Night Lords once raided Veriad for slaves, which made the Strigoi Chapter Master ordered an entire Company to devote itself to annihilating the warband responsible, which made a Night Lords Captain attempt to breach the Duskhold and reclaim a relic weapon the Strigoi took as a trophy, etc.?

Edited by Bjorn Firewalker, 29 October 2019 - 03:15 PM.

Previous projects: Wolves of Catachan (the Wolfbrothers Chapter reborn), Steel Crusaders (Codex: Iron Hands), Iron-hearted Angels (Codex: Blood Angels supplement).

Current projects: Knights of Renaissance (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Marines), Grim Knights of Grimm Nights (Red vs. Blue Marines).

#7
AHorriblePerson

AHorriblePerson

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 578 posts
  • Location:Germany
  • Faction: Various

Having them have a vendetta against the Night Lords seems like the obvious way to go, doesn't it? I do want to write about a battle for Veriad sometime, but I'm not sure wether they'll be fighting Night Lords, or even Chaos Space Marines. I was thinking about Dark Eldar. We'll see once I get there, I suppose.



#8
Bjorn Firewalker

Bjorn Firewalker

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 14,743 posts
  • Location:Catachan
  • Faction: Catachan Wolves
I apologize for the thread necromancy, but it took me time to articulate a proper reply.

Though the image of the Hold has been interpreted in countless different ways by the world’s inhabitants, yet all of them share a single constant, for the sight of the Duskhold is always associated with deep feelings of dread, loss and, most of all, hatred.

If the Duskhold and its inhabitants fail to inspire any positive feelings in the Veriadans, then they are practically begging for any two-bit Chaos cultist to bring the Strigoi's own Chapter planet under his thrall, by promising the Veriadans a "better life." (How did the cultist get past the black holes to reach the planet? Never underestimate the powers the Chaos Gods will grant those pawns they find most useful. How did the cultist bamboozle the Veriadans? A desperate person will believe anything, try anything, to get out of a bad situation- and you described the Veriadans' as very bad.)

There should be a comprehensive propaganda campaign to remind the Veriadans how they benefit as the Strigoi's subjects- maybe a campaign the Chapter serfs conduct, after the Strigoi return them to the Veriad to serve as mayors, sheriffs, priests, and other authority figures, allowing the Astartes to maintain their control over the planet.

Note that the Veriadans do not give up their young willingly - the natives despise the chapter for leaving them to fight the horrors of their world alone.

How about the Chapter requiring all able-bodied young men to accompany them on "pilgrimages" to the Duskhold? Those who cannot join the Astartes on this pilgrimage, are sterilized. (The latter is a selective breeding measure.)

While they're at the Duskhold, the Strigoi trains these young men in the ways of war. The best among the "pilgrims" will receive gene-seed, becoming Strigoi themselves; the second-best will become serfs; the remainder will be lobotomized and made into servitors.

The serfs will accompany the Strigoi on at least one campaign, so they may learn what horrors threatens their world from beyond the stars, and why they need the Astartes' protection; those that survive are returned to Veriad, to rule the planet on the Strigoi's behalf, teach native Veriadans how to defend themselves in support of the ideal of self-sufficiency, and conduct the propaganda campaign I proposed.

These foreign souls tend to be a cause for tension among the aspirants, who sometimes go as far as killing one another rather than learning to forge bonds of brotherhood. Such individuals are damned from the beginning - fraternity is essential to the space marines, and those who fail to live by this truth have no place amongst the Strigoi.

It's wasteful to allow the recruits to kill each other. Better to use a more extensive hypnotherapy program to force the recruits to view each other as brothers. Naturally, the program dehumanizes the Strigoi, making them seem far more monstrous than those under the Blood Angels' hypnotherapy program.

Edited by Bjorn Firewalker, 16 November 2019 - 12:43 PM.

Previous projects: Wolves of Catachan (the Wolfbrothers Chapter reborn), Steel Crusaders (Codex: Iron Hands), Iron-hearted Angels (Codex: Blood Angels supplement).

Current projects: Knights of Renaissance (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Marines), Grim Knights of Grimm Nights (Red vs. Blue Marines).

#9
AHorriblePerson

AHorriblePerson

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 578 posts
  • Location:Germany
  • Faction: Various

Definetely some interesting ideas, but I have a few issues with some of them:
 

 

If the Duskhold and its inhabitants fail to inspire any positive feelings in the Veriadans, then they are practically begging for any two-bit Chaos cultist to bring the Strigoi's own Chapter planet under his thrall, by promising the Veriadans a "better life." (How did the cultist get past the black holes to reach the planet? Never underestimate the powers the Chaos Gods will grant those pawns they find most useful. How did the cultist bamboozle the Veriadans? A desperate person will believe anything, try anything, to get out of a bad situation- and you described the Veriadans' as very bad.)


There should be a comprehensive propaganda campaign to remind the Veriadans how they benefit as the Strigoi's subjects- maybe a campaign the Chapter serfs conduct, after the Strigoi return them to the Veriad to serve as mayors, sheriffs, priests, and other authority figures, allowing the Astartes to maintain their control over the planet.

 

The chaos cultist idea is an interesting point, though I'd imagine that the chapter likes to keep their base of operations isolated and largely forbids foreign ships to approach the planet and its moon. Maybe the world should be declared perditas to outsiders. That said, I like that thought! As I mentioned, a conflict on or about Veriad would be cool to write about.

 

Regarding the propaganda campaigns, I think you've got the wrong idea about Veriad. A good way to look at them is like Cretacia or Fenris. Veriad is supposed to be just as deadly, with civilisation being limited to small settlements a few hundred people large at best. Whatever these settlements are made of, they're barely enough to keep the creatures indigenous (and "less" indigenous) to the world at bay, and so people die every day. I don't believe there's any need to take measures to keep Veriad compliant in lieu of the Strigoi's recruitment - the population simply endures this because their immediate concerns are elsewhere. What could mere mortals even achieve when demigods decide to take their young ones? Besides, the chapter is really not the type to spread propaganda among the mortals. They like Veriad the way it is, and have no intent to change it.

 

 

How about the Chapter requiring all able-bodied young men to accompany them on "pilgrimages" to the Duskhold? Those who cannot join the Astartes on this pilgrimage, are sterilized. (The latter is a selective breeding measure.)


While they're at the Duskhold, the Strigoi trains these young men in the ways of war. The best among the "pilgrims" will receive gene-seed, becoming Strigoi themselves; the second-best will become serfs; the remainder will be lobotomized and made into servitors.

The serfs will accompany the Strigoi on at least one campaign, so they may learn what horrors threatens their world from beyond the stars, and why they need the Astartes' protection; those that survive are returned to Veriad, to rule the planet on the Strigoi's behalf, teach native Veriadans how to defend themselves in support of the ideal of self-sufficiency, and conduct the propaganda campaign I proposed.

 

 

I don't like the concept of them conducting selective breeding. The population of Veriad is likely scarce as it is; the dangers of their homeworld forge worthy enough aspirants. My idea is that the chosen few are little more than slaves given an opportunity to achieve greatness. That they recieve training at the duskhold is quite obvious, and I had the same system in mind when it comes to their processing.

 

Again, the Strigoi don't concern themselves too much with mortals, in this case teaching them about the bigger picture. My belief is that after their aspirants recieve basic training, the best among them are elevated and join the tenth company.

 

 

It's wasteful to allow the recruits to kill each other. Better to use a more extensive hypnotherapy program to force the recruits to view each other as brothers. Naturally, the program dehumanizes the Strigoi, making them seem far more monstrous than those under the Blood Angels' hypnotherapy program.

 

I think you're right here. I thought it'd be a good idea to let brotherhood come naturally as part of the aspirants' development, but more involved hynpo-indoctrination would likely be the smarter way to play it. I'll keep it in mind once I start making the first big revisions.



#10
Bjorn Firewalker

Bjorn Firewalker

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 14,743 posts
  • Location:Catachan
  • Faction: Catachan Wolves

I don't like the concept of them conducting selective breeding.

The impression I get from your writing, is the Strigoi view the Veriadans as a resource to exploit, not as people they should protect in order to win the latter's trust. Viewing the Veriadans as beasts of burden to use and abuse- and to selectively breed, as necessary- is the next step.

Naturally, the "chosen ones" get harems, to maintain Veriad's population numbers. The women will be trained to defend themselves from Veriad's native horrors.

The population of Veriad is likely scarce as it is; the dangers of their homeworld forge worthy enough aspirants. My idea is that the chosen few are little more than slaves given an opportunity to achieve greatness.

Fair enough.
Previous projects: Wolves of Catachan (the Wolfbrothers Chapter reborn), Steel Crusaders (Codex: Iron Hands), Iron-hearted Angels (Codex: Blood Angels supplement).

Current projects: Knights of Renaissance (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Marines), Grim Knights of Grimm Nights (Red vs. Blue Marines).

#11
AHorriblePerson

AHorriblePerson

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 578 posts
  • Location:Germany
  • Faction: Various
The impression I get from your writing, is the Strigoi view the Veriadans as a resource to exploit, not as people they should protect in order to win the latter's trust. Viewing the Veriadans as beasts of burden to use and abuse- and to selectively breed, as necessary- is the next step.

Naturally, the "chosen ones" get harems, to maintain Veriad's population numbers. The women will be trained to defend themselves from Veriad's native horrors.

 

While I can follow your train of thought, I'm not a fan of the concept. With Veriad's population being low already, selectively breeding them seems like a wasteful and ultimately unnecessary procedure to me that'd ultimately result in less potential canidates. Besides, the ones accepted by the Strigoi won't have time to maintain their homeworld's population. Their lives are now utterly dedicated to serving the chapter in ways that are ultimately more fruitful. Keep in mind that the chapter recruits from worlds other than Veriad aswell; they have no need to create "perfect" aspirants when they have virtually infinite recruits to choose from.



#12
Brother Lunkhead

Brother Lunkhead

    ++ ANTICUS ÆSALON ++

  • ++ MODERATI ++
  • 2,010 posts
  • Location:Radlands of Merica
  • Faction: Praetorian Sword, Ultramarines

Hail Brother Horrible,

 

Congratulations on the creation of a most excellent IA. The Strigoi are going to be a chapter both great and...… horriblethumbsup.gif

 

I've looked at your IA in detail and have a few observations and questions. I hope you find them helpful.

 

First, the name.... Strigoi is an excellent choice. It evokes dread and ancient memory of old earth vampiric myth. I like that a lot.

A Fortress between the Stars

Known as the Duskhold, the chapter’s home is found on Bastyr, their world’s sole moon. The louring structure is in fact visible from Veriad’s surface, which has made it the subject of veriadan folklore amongst hundreds of villages. Though the image of the Hold has been interpreted in countless different ways by the world’s inhabitants, yet all of them share a single constant, for the sight of the Duskhold is always associated with deep feelings of dread, loss and, most of all, hatred.

"The louring structure"...… I think you mean "towering".

 

You say the sight of the Duskhold elicits mostly feelings of hate among the folk of Veriad. That's very strong and mostly very dangerous. Those who feel hate will eventually throw off their fear and dread and embrace rebellion. What draws out this hate? From what you have written so far I see the Strigoi more as feared protectors among these primitive people. Unless the Strigoi savagely prey on these people, fear and dread wonder would more likely be their strongest feelings towards these Astartes.

 

The Duskhold, a great name and the description really does evoke fear and dread wonder.

 

In fact, the Red Thirst in particular is seen as a great weapon to be honed, directed and unleashed when called upon, explaining the terrifying bloodlust and cannibalistic rituals referenced in a plethora of testimonies made by witnesses of the chapter’s work.

I'll be very interested to see how you play this out.

 

Just as with their tactics, the chapter clings rather closely to the Codex bar a few notable exceptions regarding their organization.

From your descriptions, it looks like there are more exceptions to the Codex than similarities.

 

You've laid a very solid foundation for your Chapter. Much of what you've written begs for further explanation. However, I hope you'll withhold some to maintain the air of mystery. But as you withhold some answers to the many questions people will have, make sure you know the answers. It's fine and actually good to hold back some of your story, but make sure you know it in detail to prevent inconsistencies in the tale. I hope this has been of some small use to you.


  • AHorriblePerson likes this

sml_gallery_49400_16059_1314.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_25207.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_4939.jpg


#13
AHorriblePerson

AHorriblePerson

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 578 posts
  • Location:Germany
  • Faction: Various

Hi!

First of all, thanks for taking the time to read the entire article. I know going through paragraphs upon paragraphs of text can be exhausting, so I appreciate everyone who makes it to the end.
 
Secondly, thanks for the kind words! I had to think long and hard about how to make them sound exactly like I want them to be: Grim, distant figures in grey that turn into a wrathful, ravenous tide of violence as soon as they enter combat. Glad to see that came through!
 
Lastly, your observations. You've pointed out quite a few important things, and I'll do my best to adress them all. Like my use of the word "louring"... I actually wrote that word down deliberately, buuut I see that the context doesn't support it being there. Oops - gonna fix that as fast as possible. happy.png
 
On to what I think is the main issue: The relation between the veriadans and the Strigoi.
Let's start with a bit of out-of-universe context. At the end of last year, I got my hands on the limited edtion of ADB's Spear of the Emperor (Copy #267 - so glad I bought that thing! biggrin.png) and have re-read the book every couple of months since. As the novel explored the Emperor's Spears, one thing I kept being intrigued by is how the inhabitants of their homeworld Nemeton see the space marines with sorrow. They see them as condemned.
 
What follows is a short excerpt from the Index Astartes booklet that came as part of the LE:

Spoiler

 

Pretty cool, right? I decided that I want a similar kind of relationship for the Strigoi - similar, but different.

 

In my head, the veriadans live in settlements a few hundred people strong. Every night, they fend off attacks from monstrosities they can barely make out in the dark - they do this with swords and axes, clubs and bows, primitive weapons that take great skill to master. Somehow, the veriadans always make it to the next morning. And always, their communities grow smaller. The beasts of the forests have claimed yet more victims, and the struggle for survival becomes ever greater.

And then, every few years, the grey-clad brutes appear. They descend from the skies in loud, roaring carriages, and they round up their young. They examine them closely, and then they sort them out. They take five or six, sometimes a dozen. Sometimes even more. They rally them together, and then they herd them into the bellies of their sky-wagons. And then they leave, unharmed, unbothered.

Why?

The veriadans witness the Strigoi. They see their weapons, their armour. Their vehicles. They can see that they are so much more capable than the best of them. Then, they hear their voices. See their faces. They look them in the eye, and they see the same ferocity the monsters in the woods possess; monsters they can barely protect themselves against as it stands.  The Veriadans came to the conclusion that to resist the Strigoi would mean certain death, and so they simply stand idly by as their young boys are shipped off to Bastyr, to become the next generation of their oppressors. After all, what is better: To invite certain death or to have a small chance at survival?

The people of Veriad have made their choice long ago.

 

I hope that makes sense, and that it's just my insufficient writing that seems to throw people off the concept I have in mind for the Strigoi through Veriadan eyes - child-stealing monsters, impossible to best, unwise to resist. If not, I'll have to think of something else.

 

An expanded chapter history and revised sections about homeworld and recruitment are definetely what's next on the table now, after that I'd better get into stuff like their rituals and such. I'll also briefly reformulate their adherence to the codex now until I expand on their organisation. As it stands right now, the chapter is still very much a WIP.

 

So, again, thanks for taking your time to read and comment on my homebrew. I hope my... err... rambling clears things up a little, or at least opens up new points of discussion. I want to keep this thread both alive and interesting! smile.png

 

-Horrible



#14
Brother Lunkhead

Brother Lunkhead

    ++ ANTICUS ÆSALON ++

  • ++ MODERATI ++
  • 2,010 posts
  • Location:Radlands of Merica
  • Faction: Praetorian Sword, Ultramarines

Greetings Brother,

 

I'm going to do a 180 degree turn on your use of "louring"dry.png unsure.png…… aaand I'm going to say it actually works based on your description of the Duskhold. I mulled over it again, and I think it's just a word you don't hear or see very often anymore, so it just sounded odd in my head..... but I'm over that now. So, I say use ityes.gif

 

I finally got around to reading A D-B's Spear of the Emperor a few moths ago, and boy am I glad I did. Great insight into the grim life in Imperium Nihils. I too found the relationship between the people of Nemeton and the Emperor's Spears very interesting. Which brings me to the only real problem I see with your chapter, the relationship between the Strigoi and the Veriadans.

 

In my head, the veriadans live in settlements a few hundred people strong. Every night, they fend off attacks from monstrosities they can barely make out in the dark - they do this with swords and axes, clubs and bows, primitive weapons that take great skill to master. Somehow, the veriadans always make it to the next morning. And always, their communities grow smaller. The beasts of the forests have claimed yet more victims, and the struggle for survival becomes ever greater.

 

The veriadans witness the Strigoi. They see their weapons, their armour. Their vehicles. They can see that they are so much more capable than the best of them. Then, they hear their voices. See their faces. They look them in the eye, and they see the same ferocity the monsters in the woods possess; monsters they can barely protect themselves against as it stands.  The Veriadans came to the conclusion that to resist the Strigoi would mean certain death, and so they simply stand idly by as their young boys are shipped off to Bastyr, to become the next generation of their oppressors. After all, what is better: To invite certain death or to have a small chance at survival?

The people of Veriad have made their choice long ago.

 

I see what you are going for, but based on these two paragraphs the Veriadans don't seem like Astartes material. The look to me to be a people headed for extinction. Bear with me as I try to explain.

 

In the first paragraph, you describe a people living in small communities beset by monsters. Unrelenting attack, night after night, after night. The Veriadans barely survive and their population gets smaller and smaller. How long has this been going on? In the second paragraph the Strigoi come out of nowhere and steal their boys. Sure they are powerful and terrible, but do they just acquiesce without a fight or at least a few sharp words. It doesn't seem like these people have anything going for them but a base desire to live to see another day..... that's a recipe for death. They can't last.

 

On the many deathworlds of the 40kverse the people that the Astartes recruit from somehow make things work for them. They survive and thrive. Caliban had the knightly orders, Medusa has it's mobile clans, and Fenris has it's sea raiding clans. Plus, even though they don't have close relations with their respective Space Marine Chapters, they respect and are in awe of them. Even the clans of Nemeton have grudging respect for the Emperor's Spears.

 

Just an idea off the top of my head..... 

 

At sometime in Veriad's distant past, the Strigoi come down from the sky in great birds of metal and fire. Without explanation of who they are or what they might want in return, they go from village to village, build proper defenses, train the people to properly defend themselves and show them how to make weapons to not only survive, but to thrive. While doing this, they defend these communities until they can "properly" defend themselves. Then, as quickly as they came, these monstrous warrior giants from the stars leave. The next time they come, is to take their tithe in boys. Once again no negotiation, no explanation, they just take. They fear and dread, these vampiric looking knights from the sky, but they remember that sometime in the distant past they saved them.

 

I'm not suggesting that you should do this. It's just an idea.

 

Like I said, this is the only problem I see with your lore. All else looks really good to me. The rest of your lore just needs to be fleshed out. I hope that was helpful.


Edited by Brother Lunkhead, 21 November 2019 - 02:22 AM.

  • Bjorn Firewalker and AHorriblePerson like this

sml_gallery_49400_16059_1314.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_25207.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_4939.jpg


#15
AHorriblePerson

AHorriblePerson

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 578 posts
  • Location:Germany
  • Faction: Various

Hmm... I think I see the problem. I suppose the veriadans do come off as kinda helpless; perhaps I jumped the gun on certain aspects of their homeworld and their relation to the Strigoi.

It's not like they don't respect them, but they resent the fact that they simply take their young in exchange for effectively nothing. It's a theme I really want to keep - child-stealing, monstrous knights instead of "simply" awe-inspiring, mysterious sky-warriors. I realise that it's a tough nut to crack, though, so I'll take some time this weekend and make a few major changes to the information on the chapter's homeworld and recruitment. Maybe I can make the concept work without the veriadans sounding like they're entirely subjugated by the chapter...



#16
Brother Lunkhead

Brother Lunkhead

    ++ ANTICUS ÆSALON ++

  • ++ MODERATI ++
  • 2,010 posts
  • Location:Radlands of Merica
  • Faction: Praetorian Sword, Ultramarines

I definitely think the resentment theme is a good one and a keeper. I think you just need to work on the narrative to make them look less like sheep.

 

Ideas:

  • Strigoi helped them long ago with the night beasts..... but that was long ago.
  • Strigoi saved them from an Ork/Eldar/Dark Eldar/Tau/Chaos invasion..... but that was long ago
  • You helped us ONCE, and we're grateful...... but that was long ago, and all you do now is take take take...…SHEESHverymad.gif unsure.png eek.gif

There's definitely no problem with your description of the Strigoi…… they are great monsterous child stealing warriors from the sky.... and horrible to behold...... all much like yourselfmsn-wink.gif biggrin.png 


Edited by Brother Lunkhead, 21 November 2019 - 07:00 PM.

  • AHorriblePerson likes this

sml_gallery_49400_16059_1314.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_25207.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_4939.jpg


#17
Bjorn Firewalker

Bjorn Firewalker

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 14,743 posts
  • Location:Catachan
  • Faction: Catachan Wolves

In my head, the veriadans live in settlements a few hundred people strong. Every night, they fend off attacks from monstrosities they can barely make out in the dark - they do this with swords and axes, clubs and bows, primitive weapons that take great skill to master. Somehow, the veriadans always make it to the next morning. And always, their communities grow smaller. The beasts of the forests have claimed yet more victims, and the struggle for survival becomes ever greater.
And then, every few years, the grey-clad brutes appear. They descend from the skies in loud, roaring carriages, and they round up their young. They examine them closely, and then they sort them out. They take five or six, sometimes a dozen. Sometimes even more. They rally them together, and then they herd them into the bellies of their sky-wagons. And then they leave, unharmed, unbothered.

As Brother Lunkhead noted, it seems the Veriadans are becoming extinct. As their numbers dwindle, they will either become increasingly resigned to death- becoming sheep-like as their depression makes the very idea of "resistance" seem futile, and thus, unworthy of recruitment into any Chapter- or increasingly desperate, to the point they will attack the Strigoi for stealing away their children, i.e., the Veriadans' very future.

Hence my suggestion the Strigoi reintegrate Chapter serfs into Veriad as leaders, to maintain the Marines' control over their own Chapter planet. If you do NOT accept my suggestion, then you should revise the IA and write the Veriadans' situation as considerably less dire, or your readers' ability to suspend disbelief will be broken. (Regarding Fenris and other death worlds serving as Chapter planets: William King and his competent peers have never described the death worlds' human inhabitants as being threatened with extinction, i.e., the death world can spare those youths recruited into the Chapters.)
Previous projects: Wolves of Catachan (the Wolfbrothers Chapter reborn), Steel Crusaders (Codex: Iron Hands), Iron-hearted Angels (Codex: Blood Angels supplement).

Current projects: Knights of Renaissance (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Marines), Grim Knights of Grimm Nights (Red vs. Blue Marines).

#18
Brother Lunkhead

Brother Lunkhead

    ++ ANTICUS ÆSALON ++

  • ++ MODERATI ++
  • 2,010 posts
  • Location:Radlands of Merica
  • Faction: Praetorian Sword, Ultramarines

 

Hence my suggestion the Strigoi reintegrate Chapter serfs into Veriad as leaders, to maintain the Marines' control over their own Chapter planet. If you do NOT accept my suggestion, then you should revise the IA and write the Veriadans' situation as considerably less dire, or your readers' ability to suspend disbelief will be broken. (Regarding Fenris and other death worlds serving as Chapter planets: William King and his competent peers have never described the death worlds' human inhabitants as being threatened with extinction, i.e., the death world can spare those youths recruited into the Chapters.)

 

 

Although you've come up with a fine idea, I don't think Brother Horrible NEEDS to take anyone's suggestion to solve this little conundrumno.gif I'm sure with time and a little space, our fellow Liberite will come up with something to settle this issue. Perhaps it will be a solution none of us thought ofhappy.png

 

So, Brother Horrible, take your time and mull this one over. I'm looking forward to seeing what you have for usyes.gif


Edited by Brother Lunkhead, 23 November 2019 - 03:29 AM.

  • AHorriblePerson likes this

sml_gallery_49400_16059_1314.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_25207.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_4939.jpg


#19
AHorriblePerson

AHorriblePerson

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 578 posts
  • Location:Germany
  • Faction: Various

...And we're back! I wanted to get this done sooner, but real life's been real busy.
 
Apart from several minor changes concerning phrasing, I've added and/or supplemented text passages in the Heriage, Homeworld and Recruitment sections. I'll explain them briefly:
 

Hidden Content


I rewrote this bit to make it a bit more thorough. At the same time, I thought it'd be cool to muddy history of the Strigoi up a bit, make it less clear-cut. People who are familiar with a few of the Forge World sourcebooks might even discover some new information on their origins! Don't tell the others, though. msn-wink.gif

Hidden Content


Again, I fleshed this part out. This and the recruitment section were the two problem childs the other week; what I tried here is making the veriadans sound more like the staunch warriors I intended them to be instead of the human dregs then apparently came across as. I also alluded to past battles inside of the system, which I thought were a good idea by Bjorn.

Hidden Content


Lastly, Recruitment, the other point of contention. Brother Lunkhead gave me the idea to have the veriadans catch a glimpse of the "bigger picture" without them and the Strigoi becoming the best of friends. I think this is far more agreeable and still makes the chapter seem like a bunch of censored.gif s, which, let's be honest, they totally are.
 
Well, I'm excited for the feedback. Over to you!
 
-Horrible


Edited by AHorriblePerson, 03 December 2019 - 04:54 PM.

  • Brother Lunkhead and Messor like this

#20
Brother Lunkhead

Brother Lunkhead

    ++ ANTICUS ÆSALON ++

  • ++ MODERATI ++
  • 2,010 posts
  • Location:Radlands of Merica
  • Faction: Praetorian Sword, Ultramarines

Nice work on your updates Brother Horriblethumbsup.gif I'm off for the next couple of days and hope to delve more deeply into them and give you some comments. However, from the hasty readthrough I did I really like what I saw. 

 

Rather than double post I'll just update this one......

 

Just finished a more detailed readthrough...... aaannnd it still looks greatthumbsup.gif sweat.gif

 

I've generally enjoyed your narrative style, and the fact that you keep a lot of details intentionally vague.... but there are a few areas that I think need further extrapolation......

 

such as:

 

 

The Bloodied Maw
Of the various battle honours of the Adeptus Astartes, few are as central to the Strigoi's own chapter cult than the Mark of the Bloodied Maw. Applied in red around the vox grill of the armour in individual fashion, the Maw denotes the wearer as having fully embraced the bloody-handed nature of the chapter and an admirable combatant. It is ultimately essential for ascendance through the chapter ranks, as no battle-brother without the mark has ever been admitted to wear terminator armour or membership in one of the First Company's Impaler Squads.

 

How does a Battle Brother win this most valued honor? ".....fully embrace the bloody-handed nature of the chapter and an admirable combatant" is a bit too vague.

 

or this:

 

In fact, the Red Thirst in particular is seen as a great weapon to be honed, directed and unleashed when called upon, explaining the terrifying bloodlust and cannibalistic rituals referenced in a plethora of testimonies made by witnesses of the chapter’s work.
For all their dismissiveness towards their gene-curse, the Morituri - the common term for the Strigoi’s Death Company - do not reach the dangerously high numbers of chapters like the Flesh Tearers or Exsanguinators. Speculations made by various imperial scholars over the millennia reach from the use of the chapter’s sarcophagi to other, far darker practices that would warrant an Edict of Obliteration.

 

Very intriguing, but if there is witness testimony, let's see an exampleermm.gif yes.gif I don't think you need to go overboard and explain everything, just an example or two of the "rumors". Are they as bad as the Angels Vermillioneek.gif..... I hope sobiggrin.png (shame they don't put fangs on these emojis).

 

and maybe this too:

 

Fright and Ferocity

"........to their choice of weapons..... "

 

What kinds of weapons?...….. perhaps something more appropriate to the Night Lords or the World Eaters and not an honorable Astartes loyalist chapter.

 

I certainly don't consider what I've highlighted as real problems, but you might consider fleshing them out a bit more.

 

I think that this is one amazing chapter, and you've put your own unique brand of Horrible in it. Good work Brother.


Edited by Brother Lunkhead, 04 December 2019 - 08:37 PM.

  • AHorriblePerson likes this

sml_gallery_49400_16059_1314.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_25207.png sml_gallery_49400_16059_4939.jpg


#21
AHorriblePerson

AHorriblePerson

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 578 posts
  • Location:Germany
  • Faction: Various

You're absolutely right, the parts you adressed could definetely use some extra attention. Some concepts and ideas for the chapter cult (and by extension the Maw) already exist, but I'm gonna have to take some time to figure out something worth writing down properly. I think I'll get to that sometime next year, as the rest of the month is reserved for spending time with friends and painting some models happy.png. If the previous issues are resolved, that's good enough for now.

 

I've got more plans for the Strigoi, though. When the time comes, I wanna do stuff like expanding the character sections to a degree similar to a codex character entry, getting a proper art slate done (maybe several) and finishing the heraldry section - I feel like the visual aesthetic of the Strigoi isn't pointed out clearly. When I'm happy with their lore, I'll format it properly and write a PDF in the style of the Black Books from FW.

 

That said, thanks for the feedback! Apart from more tweaks to the phrasing, it's back to the drawing board (or rather, back to the painting table).


  • Brother Lunkhead likes this

#22
AHorriblePerson

AHorriblePerson

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 578 posts
  • Location:Germany
  • Faction: Various
I'm finally working on the Strigoi again! Aside from more changes in phrasing and getting rid of 'Harrows' as a name for their companies, the big updates concern the "Organisation and Tactics"-section. They're obviously in the master post, but I'll also include them here for convenience:
 
Hidden Content

 
These two blurbs are pretty straightforward, but I tried to go for more of a 'show, don't tell'-approach with the first one as suggested by Brother Lunkhead last year. Up next are updates to the 'Appearance'-section (both of the written and the visual variety) and then I'll decide on whether I want to finally flesh out their chapter cult or revisit Veriad and their recruitment methods for a second time.
 
As always, feedback and constructive criticism are appreciated!
 
-Horrible

Edited by AHorriblePerson, 08 March 2020 - 11:01 PM.

  • Brother Cambrius, Brother Lunkhead and Bjorn Firewalker like this

#23
Bjorn Firewalker

Bjorn Firewalker

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 14,743 posts
  • Location:Catachan
  • Faction: Catachan Wolves
The additional details are welcome.
  • AHorriblePerson likes this
Previous projects: Wolves of Catachan (the Wolfbrothers Chapter reborn), Steel Crusaders (Codex: Iron Hands), Iron-hearted Angels (Codex: Blood Angels supplement).

Current projects: Knights of Renaissance (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Marines), Grim Knights of Grimm Nights (Red vs. Blue Marines).

#24
Brother Cambrius

Brother Cambrius

    ++ VISUM COLORATOR ++

  • ++ MODERATI ++
  • 3,794 posts
  • Location:The Liber Heraldry Department
  • Faction: Sons Of Doom,Vanquishers

A fine addition to their character, especially with the horrors of their appetite for the fallen corpses of their enemy. Do the Reivers tend to form their skull masks into open maws or fanged varieties to add further to their aspect of causing fear whilst brutally assaulting? Might push them a little too close to Night Lords territory, but if balanced could work with the Blood Angels' afflictions.

 

Cambrius


  • Brother Lunkhead, Bjorn Firewalker and AHorriblePerson like this

gallery_26154_15777_7413.png sml_gallery_81492_11492_822.pngjHkptLG.png]gallery_77459_13226_2824.pnggallery_48988_10069_2782.png gallery_48988_11572_5225.pnggallery_48988_15094_15503.png

 


#25
Bjorn Firewalker

Bjorn Firewalker

    +FRATER DOMUS+

  • + FRATER DOMUS +
  • 14,743 posts
  • Location:Catachan
  • Faction: Catachan Wolves

A fine addition to their character, especially with the horrors of their appetite for the fallen corpses of their enemy.

The fact the Omophagea is one of the gene-seed implants a Marine receives, easily justifies such actions as efforts to gather intelligence, as well as spread terror among enemy and ally alike (in the latter case, convince Imperial allies it's a VERY BAD IDEA to switch sides).

Do the Reivers tend to form their skull masks into open maws or fanged varieties to add further to their aspect of causing fear whilst brutally assaulting?

This is a good idea for the Sanguinary Guards' death masks, providing room for psychic amplifiers with which to generate a terrifying aura. I joked that Yosef Hausakluif's Chaplain installed a meltagun in his skull helm's open jaws.
  • Brother Lunkhead and AHorriblePerson like this
Previous projects: Wolves of Catachan (the Wolfbrothers Chapter reborn), Steel Crusaders (Codex: Iron Hands), Iron-hearted Angels (Codex: Blood Angels supplement).

Current projects: Knights of Renaissance (Star Wars: The Force Awakens Marines), Grim Knights of Grimm Nights (Red vs. Blue Marines).





Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: Blood Angels Successor, Unknown Founding, Close Combat, Shock Assault, AHP

0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users